When you’re angry, you might say hurtful or life-destroying things. Even when you don’t mean the words you say, you might hurt someone you care for. Words hurt, especially when they come from someone you love, so limit the negative comments you spew at your loved ones when you’re angry.
Once you say something, you can’t take it back or make the other person un-hear it. You can apologize, but it doesn’t make the pain any less, and it doesn’t fix everything. The best thing you can do is avoid saying negative comments when you’re angry.
You might say things when you’re angry that kill the other person’s self-confidence. Even with an apology, you can’t restore the confidence you caused them to lose. Plus, they’ll always wonder if there is some truth in what you said, even if you assure them otherwise.
Fourteen Negative Comments to Avoid Saying
Take some time to read these negative comments that you should never say in anger before you experience an angry situation again. Remember that apologies are hard to do, and they don’t always fix things. Avoid saying negative comments, instead, and you won’t have to worry about forgiveness and regret.
1. I hate you. (The worst of all the negative comments)
This phrase is often spoken out of anger to people that you love. Since the people you say it to typically love and care about you, it’ll cut deep when you speak these words. Saying that you hate someone is impossible to take back, and they might never forget when you said it.
2. I wish you were never part of my life.
Everyone that comes into your life makes a difference in some way. You learn something from each person, guiding you to become a better, more logical person. Even when you’re angry, don’t tell someone you wish they’d never been in your life.
Speaking those words implies that you would be better off without the life lessons you learned. Plus, it indicates that your memories with the person don’t matter, either. You had happy times with the person, so don’t speak these negative words that you can’t take back.
3. You always do this.
This phrase overgeneralizes the other person’s behavior. Also, avoid things like, “you never do this,” for the same reason. Even if they keep doing the same thing that makes you angry, there are times they do it right.
If the other person does try to do things to make you angry, you shouldn’t be spending time with them. By overgeneralizing their mistakes, you make them feel bad about themselves. Plus, they’ll think they can never live up to your expectations.
4. I don’t think your passions are worthwhile.
Telling someone that the things they are passionate about aren’t worthwhile is hurtful and demeaning. When they are excited about something, let them be excited even if you don’t understand it. Don’t turn your anger into an emotional attack on the other person’s goals, dreams, or visions.
If their passions interfere with your life, point out how it affects you and your relationship. Don’t attack their joy over the experience. Instead, only bring up the main issue that you want to discuss.
If you have already expressed your concerns, refrain from saying more. Please don’t assume they aren’t listening and begin saying negative comments to get their attention. Give them time to process your words, offering a better chance that they’ll see your perspective.
5. We should break up. (This is one of the negative comments you might regret later)
When you’re angry at your partner, avoid using this negative phrase. Even if you feel like you might want to break up in the heat of the moment, give yourself time to reflect on the thought. Chances are if it comes to mind only when you’re angry, you don’t honestly want to break up.
If you use this comment more than once, your partner might not forgive you, either. No one wants to worry about their relationship ending, so avoid using it as ammunition. Plus, you might say the words and find that you get your angry wish when they walk away.
6. I don’t care what you have to say.
When you use this negative comment, it implies that you think you have better things to do. It makes the other person feel like you don’t value your relationship, their opinion, or their place in your life. Even when you’re angry, avoid making people feel like they don’t matter to you.
Telling someone that you don’t care makes them feel alone and invisible to you. It can create an irreparable rift in your relationship, and they’ll stop coming to you for things.
7. I don’t ever want to see you again.
Saying that you don’t ever want to see someone again is incredibly hurtful. Even if you apologize later, they’ll always wonder if you’d rather they weren’t around. Plus, the person will always worry that you’ll say hurtful comments in the future.
If you want the people in your life to feel comfortable around you, avoid saying negative things like this. You don’t want people feeling on edge when you’re in the room. Try using kind words and walking away when you’re angry.
8. I hate the people in your life.
When you say that you hate someone’s family or friends, it becomes a severe personal attack. Many people take negative comments about their loved ones more seriously than ones about themselves. Relationships are complicated, so avoid bringing up issues with people they care about when you’re angry.
There’s a fine line when it comes to insulting someone’s loved ones and friends. If you keep the negative comments going, you might end up saying something that the other person won’t forgive. Plus, if they do forgive you, it can make things tense in social situations.
9. This happened because of what you did.
Placing blame is never the right thing to do when you’re angry. Even if something is the other person’s fault, pointing it out won’t help the situation, and it’ll likely make things worse. Telling someone that it’s all their fault isn’t kind, and it’ll bring them down while ruining their self-confidence.
If you often place blame when you’re angry, the people in your life will feel like they can’t please you. They’ll feel like you constantly attack their attempts and fixate on their mistakes.
10. You’ll never change.
This negative comment is harmful for a couple of reasons. First, it implies that you don’t like the person as they are, making them feel like they aren’t good enough. Second, they won’t make an effort to change their behavior because they’ll feel like you won’t recognize it.
No one is perfect, so using this comment implies that they are incapable of becoming better. The other person might be trying their most complex, and your comment could knock them right back down. Give them a chance, and kindly point out what they did wrong instead.
11. Forget about it. (You might not think of these words as negative comments, but it stops productive conversation)
While you might think this comment is fine, it’s not. Telling someone to forget about the issue or the conversation isn’t helpful because it hides real emotions. It’ll cause the other person to worry and stress more, potentially causing anxiety.
Instead, try to express yourself. If you can’t express yourself without saying hurtful things, ask for time to calm down. Asking for time is better than telling them to forget about it because it shows you aren’t giving up or dismissing them.
12. You deserve every bad thing that’s happened to you.
Bad things sometimes happen in life, but it doesn’t mean that the person deserved it. Some people even spend lots of time and energy trying to figure out what they did to deserve bad things. By telling someone that they deserved terrible things, it can make them question who they are as a person.