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Nutritionists Explain How Flavonoids Increase Brain Health (and What to Eat)

March 26, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Flavonoids refer to specific natural substances that constitute beneficial effects for a person’s mental and physical health. So, if you are looking to be the most intelligent person in your classroom or family or simply looking to be the best version of yourself, flavonoids are just the thing you need inside your body.

The phenolic structures, any compound with a hydroxyl group attached directly to a benzene ring, contain healthful mutagenic, oxidative, carcinogenic, and inflammatory resistant properties. This means that the information around flavonoids and how the body uses them most efficiently is still debated by doctors.

How Flavonoids Increase Brain Health

The original data reflects the immense amount of positive cardiovascular proficiency one can obtain by incorporating the correct number of fruits, vegetables, teas, grains, and other natural products into a balanced diet. The same can be said for its effects on the human brain on how flavonoids can impact cognitive function and mental stability.

In today’s world, the number of processed foods within our society contributed to mental degradation over the past fifty years. So, when you are considering healthy lifestyle choices, you will find that consuming whole foods is one of the only choices you can make to live a happy and fruitful life.

Dr. David Geier, who is a double-board certified orthopedic surgeon and sports medicine specialist, states that eating foods that are high in flavonoids can slow down the decline of brain health as we age. An adult must consume at least 600 milligrams of flavonoids per day, which, in turn, provides them with a 20% lower risk of cognitive decline.

Since damage to the blood vessels (whose primary purpose is to supply the brain with sufficient oxygen) is a crucial factor regarding cognitive decline, eating foods high in flavonoids is essential if you are looking to maintain healthy cognitive function. Flavonoids are a beneficial phytonutrient for optimal heart health.

Flavonoids: The Six Categories

As the research began to expand and become more inclusive regarding the entire body, the benefits of consuming flavonoids regarding brain health have become widely accepted amongst medical professionals. Part of a plant compound group called “phytonutrients,” flavonoids also break down into sub-categories known as:

1. Flavonols

Plants synthesize flavonols as secondary metabolites. While they don’t directly contribute to a plant’s reproductive or developmental capabilities, they tend to assist plants with any environmental stress they may come in contact with. A study purports that flavanols are essential to brain health due to increased blood flow. It is also said to assist with organ performance as well.

2. Flavones

Flavones strictly differ from any other subset of flavonoids due to their molecular structure. That’s because flavones come from plants that produce white (and off-white) colored flowers and wean off insects as well to keep their plant host safe. However, even though scientists and health professionals believe that flavones have an immense impact on cognitive function, it is still unclear exactly how they continue to impact the human body. From what science currently observes, Flavones help lower oxidative stress and pro-inflammatory signaling.

3. Flavan-3-ols

Typically found in cocoa beans and tea, Flavan-3-ols were isolated by Dr. Michiyo Tsujimura in 1929 at the Institute of Physical and Chemical Research in Japan. Some may say that Flavan-3-ols are not essential for human health. Regardless, they still have powerful antioxidant properties any health-loving individual should consider. Its ability to defend your brain against free radicals is still somewhat debated on its overall effectiveness. However, nutritionists know that Flavan-3-ols brings an extra layer of benefits for anyone eating a good number of fruits and vegetables.

4. Flavanones

Flavanones are compounds that affect both a plant’s color and taste. Even though we all cringe at that first bite of grapefruit, flavanones also improve many biological processes within the brain. Forms such as naringin, hesperidin, and eriocitrin are types of flavanones that can be found in anything from lemons to bee pollen, even though the vast majority of flavanones are made with plants themselves.

For example, naringin lowered cholesterol and estrogen in lab animals, while hesperidin worked hand-in-hand with vitamin C to create collagen in joints and skin. Red wine also contains an average number of flavanones. Still, everything in moderation is the key to successful brain function and all bodily functions, for that matter.

5. Anthocyanidins

This sugarless plant pigment is responsible for the pure and vibrant colors of fruits and vegetables. Blueberries, red cabbage, and raspberries are just a few edible plants that typically contain high levels of anthocyanidins. Some examples of anthocyanidins include malvidin, cyanidin, and delphinidin. Each maintains their chemical structures even after being consumed by humans. In contrast, other flavonoids will go through a transformative process after being eaten.

This is what makes anthocyanidins so unique in comparison to the other five flavonoid compounds. Many healthy individuals go out of their way to consume fruit high in anthocyanidins. That’s because the benefits for both brain health and inflammation are abundant in this flavonoid. However, it is crucial to finish the pieces of the plant that contain the color. For example, skinning an eggplant is the wrong move, as all of the Anthocyanidins properties come from within the flesh itself.

6. Isoflavones

Isoflavones are another secondary substance within fruits and vegetables that categorize themselves as a healthy estrogen source. While the estrogenic effects of isoflavones are less potent than the estrogen hormone, it is still a foundational flavonoid that is worth consideration. In combination with phytoestrogens, Isoflavones can help bring balance to low estrogen events such as menopause and reduce the effect of hyper-estrogen within cells.

Once the gut bacteria absorb isoflavones within the intestines, isoflavones can begin their beneficial processes that assist with brain cognition. You can find high levels of isoflavones in foods like soybeans, peanuts, pistachios, and various other fruits and vegetables. Naturally occurring isoflavones are predominately glycosylated. That means they have a tough time absorbing directly into the body. Healthy food processing forms can make isoflavones more bioavailable for human consumption.

According to Baptist Health’s Dr. Scott Davis, flavonoids can positively impact your body, especially your gut flora and GI tract, in a way that good bacteria transform into better bacteria. This is important because positively affecting your gut also assists with lowering your blood pressure. As we all know, high blood pressure can cause heart attacks and strokes, so it’s no wonder that eating a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables can be the saving grace for your overall brain cognition.

6 Foods to Add Flavonoids to Your Diet

Try a few of these foods–they are excellent sources!

1. Citrus Fruits

Citrus fruits such as lemons, limes, and grapefruit contain flavanones. Simply consuming raw organic versions of citrus fruits will have a fantastic effect on your gut biome, especially when juiced. The bioavailability of these healthy plant compounds will provide your body with the antioxidants needed for proper brain health.

2. Berries

Every berry on planet Earth will contain some form of flavonoids, but not every berry is equal in flavonoid production. The most potent antioxidant berry to date is the blackberry, as they are known to contain all six types of flavonoids within them. A few other great options are raspberries, cherries, and blueberries. Of course, each has a decent amount of anthocyanidins.

3, 4, 5. Onions, Kale, and Red Cabbage

These three vegetables have tremendous effects on brain health due to their nutrient-dense compositions. Of course, onions are a root vegetable. Thus, they pull their nutrient value directly from the earth, making them a powerhouse for vital body functions. They are great for cognitive health and excellent fighters against cancerous cells. Kale is also a great source of flavanols. Indeed, you can add it to other vegetables and fruits to help boost their nutritional value. At the same time, red cabbage could be the lifeblood for anyone looking to mitigate cognitive disorders and diabetes, and cardiovascular disease.

6. Soybeans

While soybeans come in a variety of different options, such as tofu, edamame, tempeh, and soy sauce. Indeed, each of these soybean-derived varieties will give your brain an increase in isoflavones. One word of caution. Be careful about consuming products made with highly concentrated amounts of salt. That’s because the harmful effects of factory production can counteract the health benefits you seek from soybeans.

Final Thoughts On How Flavonoids Increase Brain Health

When adding essential building blocks of healthy brain cognition, you almost cannot find a more beneficial source than the flavonoid family. A balanced diet of fruits and vegetables has been the proverbial lifeforce for as far back as human existence goes, and the opportunity to introduce a high level of dexterity to your brain is an acceptable way to stay sharp and healthy.

While flavonoids are a massive part of a healthy lifestyle, exercising and proper water consumption are crucial as our foods. If we stopped eating processed sugar and processed foods altogether, the clarity and efficiency we need for our best lives would reveal themselves in miraculous ways.

So be sure to get your daily dose of natural and organic fruits and vegetables every day. You will put yourself in the best mental and physical shape that you can. And of course, don’t hesitate to contact your health provider and do your research before switching up your diet, as food sensitivities and allergic reactions can still affect well-being.

Illinois Man Dresses as Superman to Make People Smile

March 26, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

In Rockford, Illinois, one kind-hearted man decided to don a Superman outfit to warm people’s hearts. Of course, not all superheroes wear capes, but some of them do!

When he ventures out into the city dressed in the outfit, people instantly smile and take pictures of the anonymous Superman. He didn’t come to save the town but to spark joy and reignite people’s playful spirits.

“I walked past this big rack of Superman capes, and since I was a small child, I always wanted a full-sized Superman cape. So I grabbed the cape and went out on my motorcycle,” he said. “I was just gonna have fun with it for just a few minutes, you know? Five or ten minutes into the first motorcycle ride, I’d gotten like ten thumbs up, a bunch of honks, waves, people hanging out the windows, smiling.”

So, it seemed to go even better than he thought! After that, he decided to upgrade the costume and hit the streets again.

Illinois Man Dresses as Superman to Make People Smile

“I’m like, ‘These people think it’s just as much fun as I do!’ But I didn’t have a Superman shirt, so I turned around, went back to the store, and bought a Superman shirt,” he said.

He has a lot of fun driving his motorcycle throughout the city and dressing up as Superman. Plus, others seem to get a kick out of it, so he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. He ventures out into the city once every couple of weeks for the Superman shenanigans. And, he never knows what kind of reaction he’ll get from onlookers.

“I pulled up to a light one time, and this lady pulled up next to me, and she was crying. I’m like, ‘Are you okay?’ She had her face in her hands, and she looked up and went, ‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week!’ I mean, she was laughing that hard. She was crying!”

When you can make someone laugh so hard that they start to cry, you know you’ve done an excellent job! We don’t laugh enough in this world, and this man decided to do something about that. We need more people like him!

He says he realizes some people are probably laughing at him, but most are laughing with him. He doesn’t care either way, though, as long as it brings a smile to someone’s face. It lifts his spirits to know he can make people laugh, even if it’s just for a moment.

“Even for five seconds, make them smile, make them laugh, do something kind for somebody,” he says. “If everybody did that, I mean everybody, it would be a much better place to be.”

He’s Not the Only Superman in Illinois

In February 2015, then 7-year-old Bryce Schottel had been diagnosed with lymphatic cancer. Little did he know that two months later, a superhero would come to town and restore hope to him and his family.

He’d already been through three rounds of chemotherapy at the time and was scheduled for a fourth. During that difficult time, he turned to superheroes to lift his spirits. His favorite? Superman, according to his mom Regina Carlton.

Soon, her son would meet a real-life Superman, much to his surprise. After coming across Bryce’s picture and story online, police senior corporal Damon Cole in Dallas wanted to help somehow.

He already had experience dressing as Superman and other superheroes for “Heroes, Cops, and Kids.” So, he decided to contact Bryce’s family and ask if he could visit him in April. Of course, he planned on wearing his full costume and even decorated his car with the Superman theme!

His family wholeheartedly agreed and couldn’t wait to see their son’s reaction. So, Cole drove 11 hours from Dallas to Bryce’s hometown of Smithton, Illinois, where he surprised the young boy at his home. He wore his Superman costume as promised and even gave Bryce a collectible Superman figurine.

Bryce couldn’t believe someone had driven from so far away just to cheer him up. When he saw Cole’s Superman-themed car, he became even more ecstatic about the whole thing.

Of course, Cole couldn’t leave without a bit of bonding time with Bryce, especially considering he’d driven 11 hours. The two blew bubbles, played cards, and enjoyed some video games together. Before Cole left, he gave Bryce a parting gift of one of his prized Superman capes.

Cole said he could hardly tell Bryce was sick because he “had such a positive attitude,” according to an interview with ABC News.

Cole also planned to visit St. Louis Children’s Hospital during his time in Illinois. He would wear his Man of Steel gear this time to surprise Bryce and the other children there.

Bryce’s mom was blown away by Cole’s generosity and kindness. She told ABC that there aren’t many people left like him anymore who would go out of their way for a complete stranger.

The family encourages the public to donate to cancer research and children’s hospitals worldwide.

Final Thoughts on People Dressing As Superheroes to Make Others Smile

It’s not every day you get to meet Superman. But when you do, you never forget it. You often see kind citizens wearing superhero outfits in places like nursing homes or children’s hospitals, as Cole did. Since we associate superheroes with bravery and kindness, it’s easy to see why children look up to them.

However, we can all benefit from seeing someone dressed as a superhero, especially when they’re driving a motorcycle! The man from the first story also boosted people’s spirits simply by wearing the Superman costume. The bike also added to the “cool” factor of the ensemble, making people turn their heads when it passed by.

So, if you want to make people smile, wear a Superman outfit the next time you go out. You will undoubtedly bring joy to anyone who sees you!

Researchers Connect Link Between Restful Sleep And Better Health

March 26, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Although people spend a significant amount of their time sleeping, most people seem to forget how important getting sleep is. Restful sleep is something people take for granted instead of trying to understand how much it affects their life. There is such thing as getting too much or too little sleep.

And even if you sleep enough, you always have to consider how well you sleep. You might sleep for seven to nine hours and still wake up tired. That’s because the quality of your sleep matters just as much as the quantity. Many things can affect how well you sleep. From psychological disorders all the way to how your day goes. You have to take into account even sleep disorders, like insomnia.

Contrary to popular belief, you can’t exhaust yourself and count on those seven hours of sleep to save you. You have to make a conscious effort to ensure that the quality of your sleep is the best it can be. Even though sleep issues haven’t been discussed a lot in the past, scientists are beginning to underline just how vital sleep is for us. That’s precisely why even scientists from Harvard explain the importance of restful sleep.

Why Do You Have Trouble Sleeping?

While many things can affect the quality of your sleep, chronic sleep deprivation is one of the main issues. Chronic sleep deprivation is a condition caused by getting insufficient sleep or experiencing sleeplessness over an extended period. It can vary in severity, and, in some cases, its cause could be an underlying sleep disorder.

Chronic sleep deprivation can be primary or secondary. When we talk about primary sleep deprivation, that’s when the sleep you get is a problem by itself. Because you don’t get enough sleep, or that sleep is not qualitative, it causes other issues in your life. Secondary means the lack of good sleep is an unrelated issue. Certain medical conditions, like anxiety, can cause sleep deprivation. The symptoms include dark under-eye circles and the inability to keep your eyes open in both cases.

Besides that, you can experience head nodding, irritability, lack of energy, trouble concentrating, and yawning. Another common condition is insomnia. That’s when you feel like you need and want to sleep, but you just can’t. And even if you fall asleep, you have trouble staying asleep or sleeping as late as you would like. Insomnia affects around 35% of adults, and it’s an issue that people often overlook. Insomnia often results from bad habits and even psychological problems.

Stress, an irregular sleep schedule, and anxiety can cause this disorder. Moreover, having an unhealthy lifestyle can also lead to cases of insomnia. Napping late in the afternoon, sleeping more than you should, and using technological devices can all affect your sleep. Not all cases of insomnia are the same. For some people, the problem is falling asleep (sleep onset). In other cases, the problem is staying asleep (sleep maintenance). Insomnia is also a common issue for teens and older people.

Many other sleep disorders can affect people in all age groups. For example, aging is a common factor that causes a decrease in sleep quality. Besides insomnia and chronic sleep deprivation, people can also suffer from sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome. Sleep apnea causes a blockage in the upper airways, which may cause you to wake up abruptly. When it comes to restless leg syndrome, that causes an uncomfortable feeling which can also disrupt your sleep.

Why Is Restful Sleep Important?

Those are just some of the issues that are related to sleep disruption. But you don’t need to suffer from a long-term condition to have bad sleep habits. It’s enough to act indifferently towards your sleeping habits, and you’ll suffer the consequences. But, as with all issues, there are many ways through which you can improve the quality of your sleep.

1. Restful Sleep Improves Your Health

An adult needs to sleep an average of seven to nine hours every night to be healthy. Children and teenagers need considerably more sleep to develop and be healthy fully. But getting the recommended amount of sleep isn’t enough. If your rest isn’t of good quality, you won’t get the full benefits. Meaning if you find yourself waking up often, having trouble sleeping, or you sleep too lightly, that means you have an issue.

In that case, you should plan to see the doctor, as you might have a sleep disorder. What’s important to know is that lack of sleep leads to serious health issues. If you sleep less than six hours a night, you are at higher risk of developing diabetes. You also risk having heart issues, a stroke, suffering from cognitive decline, and even death in some cases.

Lack of sleep also leads to weight gain and an increase in cortisol levels. Recently, scientists have identified that it activates a brain cleaning function when your brain is at rest. During your sleep, a fluid runs through the lymphatic system. That fluid has been shown to wash away a harmful protein, beta-amyloid. When this process doesn’t occur, the protein builds up, which can lead to Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of cognitive decline.

The problem with regularly getting too little sleep is that people can tolerate sleep deprivation. You start being less aware of how tired your brain and body are, and you get increasingly less sleep. After some time, getting too little sleep becomes routine, and you risk developing all the conditions mentioned above.

Getting too much sleep can also be a problem. This might seem paradoxical, as most people associate a lot of sleep with being rested. But that’s not the case. Like too little sleep, oversleeping can lead to diabetes, heart issues, stroke, and death. Oversleeping is often caused by depression or not getting too much sleep the night before. So, in many cases, solving sleep deprivation also solves oversleeping.

When you struggle with sleep disruptions, the main thing you need to do is force yourself to stick to a strict sleep schedule. You also need to make sure you have a healthy lifestyle. Don’t drink too much caffeine, exercise, and don’t use technology too much. If your sleep patterns don’t improve, you will need to consult a doctor.

2. Sleep Reduces Stress

Sleep is tightly linked to a person’s cortisol levels. When you aren’t rested or don’t get enough sleep, your cortisol levels shoot through the roof. High cortisol levels are good in the short term, improving concentration. But in the long-term, they lead to hormonal imbalances and stress. If you are stressed, that takes a toll on your health.

Stress increases the heart rate and shuts down some systems to conserve energy. If you put your body through this every day, you will inevitably struggle with heart issues, increased blood pressure, memory loss, and many other problems. When you get enough sleep, you allow your body to go through the full sleep cycle. In that cycle, the body has the time and resources to solve everything that’s off in your body.

One of the main things that get regulated is your cortisol levels. That means you will be better equipped to deal with stress the next day. And, most importantly, you won’t wake up stressed. As a by-product, being rested improves your memory. When you have restful sleep, the mind can process all the stimuli it has taken in while you were awake. It strengthens neural connections, which allow you to form memories. That means while you sleep, you create new memories, which is vital for the learning process.

3. Restful Sleep Impacts Your Weight

While your weight isn’t necessary at all from a beauty standpoint, it plays an essential role in your health. Fluctuating a few pounds isn’t an issue at all. But, when you become severely overweight or underweight, that’s when you’ll have to deal with some health issues. And sleep connects to weight gain and calorie regulation.

In 2020, a study found that people who sleep less than seven hours per night have a 41% increased risk of developing obesity. Weight gain takes place because of many factors. For example, increased levels of leptin and decreased ghrelin levels affect your weight gain. The imbalance in hormones causes an increased appetite.

Moreover, to compensate for lack of sleep, your body will ask for an increased calorie intake. Sleep is crucial for calorie intake that trainers often recommend that athletes sleep up to ten hours. If that’s not bad enough, you might not feel like exercising if you don’t have enough energy. This way, you’ll gain calories without any way to offset that excess.

Weight gain, especially when it gets to obesity, has dire impacts on your health. It causes hypertension, type two diabetes, coronary heart disease, and even death. It even affects your mental well-being, leading to low quality of life, depression, anxiety, and more. The only way to avoid unwanted weight gain because of disruptive sleep patterns is to regulate your sleep. Make sure you have a clear sleep schedule and focus on having a healthy lifestyle.

Final Thoughts on the Importance of Restful Sleep (and How to Get It)

Sleep is an integral part of a person’s life, but many overlook its importance. It seems natural that most people don’t think they could ever mess it up. But having a restful sleep is much more complicated than you might think.

Many factors can interfere with restful sleep. The most common are sleep disorders, like insomnia and chronic sleep disorder. But an unhealthy lifestyle, stress, and an irregular sleeping schedule can also decrease the quality of your sleep. From your health to your stress levels and weight, sleeplessness can harm your quality of life.

If you find that your sleep isn’t as qualitative as you might like, you need to make a conscious effort to set a clear sleep schedule. Make sure you have a healthy lifestyle, and if further issues arise, visit a doctor.

14 Signs of Covert Abuse Never to Ignore

March 25, 2022 by Chris Butler

Covert abuse is a psychological or emotional type of abuse. A covert abuser uses manipulation hidden behind fake empathy and charm. They profess to be your biggest supporter, all the while belittling and shaming you. Their tactics are hidden, so you aren’t clear about what’s going on while they’ll act as if they’re the victim. They are a narcissist, using mind games to make you doubt yourself so that you end up believing what your abuser says about themselves and you.

Covert abuse occurs in many relationships, not just in a romantic partnership or a parent-child relationship. Friends abuse friends, children abuse parents, and supervisors use their employees. If all this sounds familiar to you, you could be in a covert abuse relationship. Recognizing the abusive behavior is vital for getting the help you need and finding healing.

Other names for covert abuse

Ambient abuse
Stealth abuse
Hidden abuse
Passive aggressive abuse

14 Signs of Covert Abuse Never to Ignore

1 – Belittling is a common sign of covert abuse

Covert abusers are skilled at making negative comments to make you feel insecure. They find out where you’re vulnerable, then use tactics to destroy you with belittling, shaming, and mocking. They twist the truth so that you feel confused emotionally by their kindness at one moment and hatefulness the next.

2 – Betraying

When you first meet your abuser, you’ll find them immensely charming. As your relationship progresses, they’ll act like the perfect partner. Because the abuser wants you to trust them, they will present themselves as vulnerable, mirroring your values and ideas so much that you’ll be surprised at how perfect they are for you. Psychologists call this “grooming” because your abuser focuses on you as a target, luring you into their trap with specific tactics. It’s a total betrayal of who they are.

3 – Covert abuse causes isolation

Your abuser will attempt to isolate you from those closest to you. They’ll express their distrust of your loved ones or friends to pull you away from anyone but themselves. You may feel afraid as they criticize your neighbors, family, and friends. The covert abuser may ask you to keep things private because they say they’d be embarrassed if you tell your family. It’s a subtle way to isolate you. To go against their wishes is the “choose” others over them. They’ll sulk if you express a desire to be with your friends or family to coerce you to stay with them.

4 – Controlling

Covert abuse is hard to identify because the abuser is careful of how they appear. They’re narcissists who want to control you by making any scheduling too hard or by making you feel guilty if you’re going to be with your family or friends. If you go out as a couple, they’ll be miserable, playing the victim the entire time. Examples of controlling include:

Interrupts you when you’re talking
Speaks for you
Doesn’t allow you choices
Insisting you wear what they like
Doing things their way
Controlling the spending

5 – Maintains a favorable reputation

Covert abuse hides in plain sight. The abuser works hard to maintain their reputation as a nice person. They flatter, praise, and encourage others, so they’re well-loved by people. Similar to a chameleon, the abuser tries to please everyone. They volunteer, give support and help people. They need to win support and praise because they will carry out smear tactics against you if you tell anyone about the abuse. No one will believe you because your abuser is a nice person.

6 – Public slander

If you try to leave a covert abuser, you’ll experience slander. They’ll revile your character with negative comments to friends and family. Of course, they’ll express their “concern” for you and imply that you’re unstable. They may tell others you’re abusive and can’t be trusted. Because they’ve been able to maintain their reputation, people will rally around them, believing their lies. A covert abuser will also engage in these slurs:

Deflecting your accusations of abuse
Smearing your good name, even to friends and family
Making you feel lonely because people will pull away from you to support them
Causing you to doubt yourself
Make you feel helpless because everyone believes their lies

7 – Covert abuse deflects responsibility

Covert abusers blame their victims instead of taking responsibility for their actions. For instance, if your abuser hits you, they’ll say something like, You made me angry; I didn’t have a choice, but I had to hit you to make you stop. Your abuser won’t acknowledge that any abuse happened. Instead, they’ll blame you for their actions, making themselves out as the victim.

8 – Plays the victim

Abusers love to act like the victim. This is because they like to use your sympathy to excuse their behavior. The covert abuser will give you the silent treatment, refusing to communicate with to punish you. They’ll act like it’s a sacrifice to be around you as they emotionally withdraw. If you try to bring up their behavior, they’ll

Try to get your sympathy
Twist it around as your fault
Pretend to have self-hatred
Acts hurt
Tell you that you’re hard to please
Tell you that you don’t appreciate all they do for you
Blames others-old relationships, their parents or family or work

9 – Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of manipulative lying. Your abuser will confuse the truth to mislead you. They’ll twist what they said, questioning you to where you believe their lies. You lack self-confidence and do not trust your judgment. Or you may feel like there’s something wrong with you. Gaslighting messes with reality and makes you feel frustrated. If you point out what they’re doing, they act hurt and tell you you’re being irrational.

10 – Covert abuse twists your words

When talking to a narcissist, the conversation will be a confusing twist of topics unrelated to the original discussion. They’ll bring up their concern for you, all the while twisting your words and misrepresenting your feelings. You may get so overwhelmed you eventually give up trying to challenge anything they say because it’s just too complicated. They may create drama to get a reaction out of you. If you try to reason with them, they’ll say things like

Oh, so you’re perfect?
Okay, so you’ve never made a mistake?
Am I that bad of a person?

They misconstrue what you shared as feelings into accusations. Telling you you’re being self-righteous.

11 – Blameshift commonly happens during covert abuse

A covert abuser can act sweet and sensitive sometimes. If you share your concerns about things they’ve said or done, they’ll feign listening and act as if they understand. They may even say they’re eager to work on your relationship. As the conversation continues, they’ll twist things so that what you brought up gets painted as your fault. Ultimately, you’ll try to break this cycle in the relationship. They’ll throwback in your face what you shared, accusing you of rejecting them. If you get defensive and try to push back, they’ll belittle you saying you’re an angry, selfish person who cares only for yourself.

12 – Putdowns

Their putdowns are with words and body language. A covert abuser uses subtleties to put you down. They’ll mix a compliment with a negative comment, saying something like I like your new hairstyle, even though it makes you look haggard. But I still love you. It’s a roller coaster experience of feeling loved and hated all at once. They use a condescending tone, inflict jabs, and patronize comments at you. Of course, they’ll say they’re just joking, but their face won’t convince you it was a joke. When you act upset by their comments, they’ll work surprised and tell you you have an anger problem. There is rarely any praise or support, which makes you feel neglected and unloved.

13 – Pretender

Covert abusers are masterful actors. They pretend that their behavior was an accident or that it never happened. When you try to bring up something, they’ll feign confusion or say they don’t know what you’re talking about. They “forget” meaningful conversations or events. You struggle with feeling alone and unloved while making yourself out as innocent.

14 – History revisions

Your abuser may use denial or rewrite history, telling you that you don’t remember the situation correctly. Or they may say to you that you misunderstood what they said. It’s a twisted historical narrative. You may give up trying to point out their inconsistencies. It’s too complicated to convince them otherwise.

The Body Language Displayed in Covert Abuse

Often you can spot a covert abuser in their body language. These are subtle, but they get their message across to you. If you notice these signs in someone, don’t ignore them or think it’s just their “way” of expressing themselves. Good chance you’re detecting abusive activity displayed.

Condescending voice or tone
Voice tones that don’t match words. For example, the person is saying nice things, but their voice sounds angry.
Superior attitude
Smiling with only half their mouth
Smirk
Sighs
Shrugs when asked a question
Eye rolling
Sideways look
A disgusted look on their face
Raise one eyebrow
Patronizing

Final Thoughts on Recognizing Covert Abuse

The dangers of covert abuse are real. It’s more common than you think and plays out in many relationships. Living with a narcissist eats away at your sense of self. It makes you feel as if you’re losing your mind. If these signs are all too familiar in your relationship, seek help right away. Find a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor to help you understand what’s going on and help you get healing. No one needs to live with covert abuse.

15 Signs A Couple Will Stay in Love Forever

March 25, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Why do some relationships last only months while others last years or decades? Staying in love for the long haul has much to do with your personality, but it’s really about how you treat one another. How do some folks make it for eternity while others barely get a start before calling it quits?

Everyone knows that maintaining a marriage while being a celebrity is a challenge. In fact, it’s quite common for people to switch partners many times, as the grueling schedules and wealth take its toll. One of the long-time married couples in Hollywood was Jerry Stiller and Anna Meara.

At the time of her death in 2015, the couple had been together for over 61 years, according to Just Riches. They acted on sitcoms and had a life in the spotlight for many years, including bringing their two children, Amy and Ben, into the mix. When asked about the key to making their marriage work, they both agreed that it was Meara’s kind nature and that she was very forgiving.

Another thing in their favor was that the couple never cared about money. They didn’t fight about spending and would have traded all the wealth away if it meant they could stay in love forever. The same article mentions James Garner and Louis Clarke and their marriage of over 59 years.

All it took for Garner and Clarke was one date to know that their relationship was kismet. If Hollywood couples can make it this long with all the stressors of show business, how much easier it must be for a couple who doesn’t have these pressures to thrive?

Fifteen Signs A Couple Will Stay in Love Forever

Maybe the person you’re with is the one for you, or maybe someone else out there would be a better match. Staying in love is more about choice and commitment above all else. Here are some signs that your relationship has a chance of being forever.

1. Spending Time Together is Important for a Couple to Stay in Love

It doesn’t matter how busy you are or what time constraints exist; you will find time to be together. Even if it’s eating dinner at 2 am because of work schedules, you do whatever’s possible to spend time with them as they hold a high ranking in your heart and life. You can’t imagine not dating them or having that particular time to connect at some point during the day or week.

2. Conversations are Good

There’s never a moment of silence, as you find pleasure in talking about anything and everything. You could sit and listen to their voice for hours, and just being together and sharing new stories and discovering things is perfect for you. You know everything that is going on in their work life, and they know all about yours, as you two don’t keep any secrets.

3. They are the First Person You Want to Run To When You Have Troubles

Sometimes the world is cruel, and you want to run and hide. Your partner is the first person you want to run to with your troubles, as you trust them. They’re affectionate and will wrap their arms around you in support. With them, the problems seem to melt away in their embrace.

4. You Text or Call Each Other Several Times a Day

Whenever you get a break at work or have a free moment, you check in with your partner. You want to make sure they’re having a good day, and if you’re having a bad day, it’s even more reason to text. Even though you are far apart, you’re still very much connected.

5. You Have Each Other’s Backs

You know that no one will talk badly about you or do anything to hurt you, at least while your partner is around. They have your back better than a bodyguard, and you feel safe knowing they’re watching out for you. No one protects you better than them, and they make the world seem better when they’re by your side.

6. You Care About One Another

You put their needs and desires above yours, as you care much about them. When you think about the next car you buy, you’re concerned about safety ratings and ensuring they’re safe on the roads. Your love for them is limitless, and you both go above and beyond to care for one another.

7. While Others Might See You Have Flaws, They See Them as Strengths

You know that your partner loves you because they see your flaws and view them as strengths. While others might say you’re overbearing and sometimes loud, they see it as the very reason you’re so successful in business. They look at you through the eyes of love as even your imperfections seem valuable.

8. You Only Use Nicknames

You use nicknames once you hit a certain comfort level with one another. These “pet names” confirm that you get each other on a deeper level. Using pet names often shows that your relationship is strong. It’s a way of showing affection and projecting tenderness that is a particular term of endearment.

9. You Can’t Imagine Life Without Them, So It’s a Priority to Stay in Love

You’re lost without them if they get called out of town on business or other matters. Your connection is so strong that you go together like a hand and glove, and it feels odd and likes something is missing when they’re gone.

10. You Can Read Each Other’s Thoughts

The two of you have a system with one another. You can stay in love because you can read each other’s minds without speaking. You’ve honed this skill well because you use it all the time. Even in a crowded room, you can glance across to see them and know exactly what they’re thinking.

Psychologists call this superior empathic accuracy, and it comes from familiarity. According to the article, couples who have this ability have stronger closeness and have more satisfying relationships.

11. They Pick You Up, Not Tear You Down

It takes a solid person to shoulder both their burdens and yours, but your partner seems to have mastered it. They’re honest with you when you’ve done wrong, but they would never tear you down. They offer constructive criticism to make you a better person, and you take their advice to heart.

12. They Are Your Biggest Fan and Loudest Cheerleader

They’re the first to praise you when you do something unique, like graduate from college or get a new job. They will take you to dinner or a surprise party to celebrate with you. They have your back more than you know and knowing they’re always there cheering you on from the sidelines is what brings you comfort.

13. You’re Both Eager to Forgive if You Hope to Stay in Love

A relationship takes two people who forgive easily to work. They state that holding grudges wastes time and only develops further hurts.

The couples that learn to forgive each other when they do wrong are the ones that will stay in love forever. Rather than harboring ill feelings, their communication will let them work through it.

14. A Couple Striving to Stay in Love Will Listen More Than Speak

Your communication is excellent, but you must listen more than you speak. Nothing else matters when your partner speaks, including your opinion. You take the time and chance to talk about what’s going on in their life and mind, as it increases your bond.

15. They Are Your Person

The term “My person” came from the relationship between Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Cristina Yang on the tv show Gray’s Anatomy. These two became close friends as residents at one of the biggest hospitals in the country. They only became closer through all the tests and tribulations they went through.

They called one another “my person ” when they discussed their relationship.” This term of endearment describes someone who has an unbreakable bond with you. This individual gets you on a level that no one else ever has before or might. They’re honest with you, even when you’re wrong, and they’re the ones you want by your side.

Final Thoughts on Couples Who Stay in Love Forever

It’s commonplace for people to question whether or not the person they’re with is their “ride or die.” You want to ensure you don’t waste time on the wrong person when the right one is waiting for you. While no test can definitively tell you they’re “the one,” you can look for the synchronicities and other details.

If you want to stay in love for the long haul, you want someone affectionate, your biggest cheerleader, who puts your needs above theirs. They get you on a level that no one else does, so much so that you can even read their mind without them saying a word. While each relationship looks different, the communication and how you care about one another will be the same across the board.

15 Mental Hacks to Help Increase Positive Thinking

March 25, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Do you mourn in the rain, or do you open your umbrella and dance among the puddles? Life often hurls pain, loss, and other negative situations in your path. Your resilience and how you react can make the difference between overcoming or being defeated. In fact, when you increase positive thinking, you really make the difference between those two outcomes.

Fifteen Mental Hacks to Increase Positive Thinking

While you can’t prevent life’s storms from raging against you, your positive attitude can keep you afloat. It takes time and patience to become an optimist instead of a pessimist. Consider these fifteen habits to increase your positive thinking.

1. Keep a Sense of Humor

One of the best characteristics to have is a keen sense of humor. The Greek philosopher, Epictetus, admired those who could laugh at themselves. He said they’d never run out of things to keep them laughing.

Sometimes, a little levity can ease tensions in a room and offer a different perspective. Laughter is also a balm to your soul and can promote a positive attitude. Try watching a classic comedy or spend time with a hilarious friend who makes you giggle.

2. Spend Time Outdoors to Increase Positive Thinking

It’s hard to be glum and gloomy outside in the glories of nature. Spending time outdoors can lower your stress levels and boost your mood. The fresh air rejuvenates your lungs, brain, and the rest of your body.

Consider taking time daily to walk through the forest, a park, or any nearby green area. Admire the stately trees, enjoy the colorful foliage, and watch the birds and other woodland creatures. This experience costs you nothing, yet it is more valuable than anything.

3. Perform Random Acts of Kindness

Another way to cultivate positive thinking is to be kind to others in word and deed. You’re expected to do nice things for people in your circle. It’s part of a reciprocal relationship.

However, what about surprising a total stranger with an act of kindness? Perhaps you buy a stranger a cup of coffee or mow a new neighbor’s lawn for a welcome gift. These free and random acts of kindness often return to you and give you an optimistic outlook.

4. Give Your Mind a Break

Even when you’re fast asleep, your brain cannot keep your vital organs alive. Plus, it’s recharging your brain cells and filing information into short or long-term memory. It’s full steam ahead when you’re awake, so no wonder your brain gets tired.

Giving your mind a much-needed break can boost your mood and encourage positivity. When you feel like the walls are closing in and you’re overwhelmed, take a break, and do something relaxing. Although your brain never sleeps, it can revive with a bit of diversion.

5. You Increase Positive Thinking if You Practice Gratitude Everyday

Sincere gratitude benefits you and the people surrounding you. For example, you thank someone who gave you a gift. You’re blessed with talent, and the giver is blessed with your gratitude. A grateful mindset discourages envy and self-centeredness.

Awaken each morning with gratitude for another day of life. Perform each daily task mindfully and gratefully. Remember words of appreciation like “please,” “thank-you,” and “you’re welcome.”

6. Look For the Positive in Bad Situations

Amid a troublesome situation, positive thinking doesn’t come quickly. An article published by the Psychological Bulletin discusses the irony of negativity bias. This common bias is when your brain pays more attention to negative situations, even though positive ones outnumber them.

It’s easy to take negativity bias to heart and wallow in a hostile atmosphere. However, positive thinking helps you find life lessons in your trials and use them as learning curves. You can acknowledge the pain, learn from it, and leave it in the past.

7. Increase Positive Thinking by Surrounding Yourself with Positive People

Whether you realize it or not, you absorb the atmosphere of a room, be it positive or negative. Have you ever noticed that you can be in a good mood and spend time with an old grump? By the time you part ways, your mood probably sank into the mire like there was.

A positive thought process thrives around those with the same mindset. According to the law of attraction, surrounding yourself with positive energy attracts more. You also tend to have a greater sense of well-being when you’re in a lively group.

8. Don’t Ruminate on Negative Thoughts

The law of attraction is unbiased, and sending negative thoughts into the Universe will attract more negativity for you. It’s a vicious cycle often caused by ruminating on your past failures and shortcomings.

Rumination can have physical and mental consequences. It may increase negative thinking and cause depression and anxiety.

Instead, find ways to learn from your experiences and leave them in the past. Do it if you need to forgive someone or ask for forgiveness yourself. It’s also helpful to let go of things you can’t change or control.

9. Share Your Thoughts with a Trusted Friend

Some of life’s burdens seem lighter when you share them with a trusted friend or loved one. Frank discussions with an empathetic friend may help you get a fresh perspective. Maybe they can increase positive thinking and help you find possible solutions.

Emotional support builds camaraderie and a positive atmosphere. If they choose to self-disclose, you may often discover your situation isn’t unique. There’s an excellent reason why people need each other’s company.

10. Keep Your Self-Talk Upbeat

Everyone has a little voice that’s like a constant narrator. Unfortunately, negative self-talk can make you feel hopeless and give you the impression that you’ll never win. If you internalize these conversations, you’ll affirm them to the Universe and never be successful.

The good news is that you have the power to change your self-talk. Change your vocabulary to positively charged ones like “can” and “will.” Make your positive affirmations aloud and learn to attract more positive gifts into your life.

11. Exercise Every Day

Make daily treks to the gym to reap benefits from exercise. Did you know that exercise increases your endorphins and other “feel good” hormones? Plus, you’re doing your body a favor by toning and strengthening your muscles and joints.

You can create an exercise regimen right for you in your home. Consider strengthening, core, and aerobic sessions to work different body parts. Even a daily brisk walk can improve your health and increase your positive outlook.

12. Keep a Journal

Since written language began, humans have recorded world events, local happenings, and personal history. Indeed, they give future generations a window into past glories and tragedies. Some famous examples of diarists include Samuel Pepys and Anne Frank.

Your journal may not record notorious historical times, but it’s your story. Use your journal to list your thoughts, ideas, and goals. You can also record how positive thinking helped you overcome your bleakest moments.

13. Get Enough Sleep to Increase Positive Thinking

When you don’t sleep enough, you feel like a zombie searching for the next cup of coffee. Sleep deprivation leaves you in a brain fog, feeling drained and grumpy. It’s the perfect setting for negative energy to seep in and make you feel worse.

Your body, mind, and spirit depend on getting the right sleep each night. When your entire being is revitalized, you’re in good spirits, and positive thoughts come quickly. You have the energy to be more productive and enjoy some recreation.

14. Take a Media Break

Whether it’s news from your smartphone, computer, or tv, the media perpetually blasts you with doom and gloom. Not only do these news commentators drag you through the muck of current adverse events, but they surmise worst cases. When you’ve finished your morning cup of Joe, you feel drained and depressed.

Get your mind off these woeful reports and give yourself a media break. The world will not stop if you don’t watch the 24/7 news feeds. In the evenings, spend quality time with your loved ones and put your phone, TV, and computer on hold. You can replace negativity with a fresh supply of positive thinking.

15. You’ll Increase Positive Thinking When You Practice Mindfulness

It isn’t easy to comprehend that the past and future don’t exist. There’s nothing you can do to alter history you don’t know challenges lie ahead of you. What does exist is present, and you have the power to make a difference at this moment.

You can improve living in the present with mindful practices like meditation or yoga. These ancient tools help you bring your thoughts into captivity and, for the moment, “be.” As you let go of depression from the past and anxiety for the future, you create a positive frame of mind.

Final Thoughts on Using Mental Hacks to Increase Your Positive Thinking

You can’t control every situation, but your attitude remains in your control. Deciding to overcome negativity with positive thinking can make a difference in all aspects of your life. You can soon realize the blessings of your divine heritage.

10 Reasons Why Snuggling Makes People Happier

March 25, 2022 by Chris Butler

You’ve worked a long day, and you’re exhausted. You can’t wait to get home because you know your partner’s arms are waiting for you, and their loving embrace keeps you going. There’s something about snuggling and that physical touch that makes everything better.

Why do people have such a hard time making space for physical contact? Folks in this country will make considerable sacrifices in their relationships to get more time to work. However, your intimacy with your partner, even on a different level with your children, matters more than you imagine.

Did you know that an intimate relationship can make you happier? Cuddling up next to someone you love is one of the easiest and best ways to experience intimacy, and the other party also feels the benefits. Here’s something that might shock you, men enjoy snuggling and closeness just as much as women, according to a study by The Kinsey Institute and a report in International Business Times.

Why Snuggling with Your Loved One Makes You Happier?

While you know hugging feels good, did you also know it’s good for your body and soul? Ironically, cuddlers have become a hot topic recently, as people who long for that physical contact without intimacy are in high demand.

Specialty agencies charge premium fees to snuggle with a lonely person in such demand. There are no intimate acts, just feeling the warmth of another human close. There are many benefits to snuggling up next to the one you love, and here are just a few of them.

1. Snuggling Relieves Pain

Physical contact with another human gets your feel-good hormones pumping, specifically oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone responsible for helping with things like social bonding. After an intimate moment, oxytocin rushes through the body, giving you that euphoric feeling, but you don’t need arousal to make these hormones surge.

It’s been proven that even a simple touch like a hug or a kiss on the cheek can stimulate the hypothalamus gland, which is the area that makes this hormone. So, the next time you have a headache or your back is in knots, try hugging someone for at least 3-5 minutes before you reach for an over-the-counter remedy. This natural medication has no side effects, and the benefits are undeniable.

2. Enhances Your Relationships

Where would you be in life without quality relationships? You know that it’s essential for you to communicate within these relationships, but don’t forget how important physical contact is. Your job and all the other responsibilities you have can take a toll on your interactions.

Rather than coming home and starting to cook dinner and get laundry going, why don’t you try cuddling with your partner for about ten minutes? It could be just the surge of feel-good hormones you need to make it through the night. Plus, it sends your partner a loud and clear message that you’re putting them first above all else that evening.

Putting this kind of attention in a relationship can do good things. Plus, it gives you time to rest before starting the next phase of your day.

3. Snuggling Increases the Bond Between Parent and Child

When you think of feel-good hormones, you wouldn’t guess that they exist in other contact forms. However, when a mother and child are breastfeeding, the same hormones are released.

The purpose here is different, though, as the hormones help mamma relax and feed her child easily, and it’s passed through the milk to the child to calm them. Have you ever noticed how a baby calms right down when feeding? Sure, they’re enjoying the milk, but those hormones are also settling them.

It’s just another of the incredible benefits of breastfeeding that many people don’t realize.

4. Snuggling Reduces Social Anxiety

You might benefit from a snuggle session if you constantly tend to have negative thoughts. That same hormone that makes you feel good can also inspire you to think more positively. Wouldn’t it be so much better to have an optimistic outlook rather than a pessimistic one?

Social anxiety is a horrible condition that can make you feel like a prisoner in your home when you can’t leave. However, if you take someone with you to the grocery store or a party, try hugging them or holding their hand. The surge of hormones your body experiences can help you counter those worried thoughts and make you feel less anxious.

5. Your Sleep Will Improve

Who couldn’t use better sleep? What if snuggling with your partner for about 10-20 minutes before you sleep could change how you rest? Well, a study conducted in 2020 from Frontiers in Psychiatry found that the boost of oxytocin released in cuddling can affect how long and how deep your sleep.

Why not try spooning for a portion of the night to keep those hormones flowing? Plus, it helps you bond with the one you love. When your anxiety levels are reduced and you enter a state of relaxation, you sleep better and have a better-quality rest.

6. Reduces Your Chance of Heart Disease

When you manage your stress levels, you lower your chances of developing severe conditions like heart disease. Surging oxytocin levels also creates a chemical reaction that reduces your blood pressure and calms your central nervous system.

Elevated blood pressure left untreated can cause your heart to wear out before its time, especially if you’re under a significant amount of stress. Thankfully, hugs and snuggling can make you live longer and healthier too.

7. Snuggling Can Reduce Stress

This is such a vast topic it deserves another mention. Stress can kill you, and experts have repeatedly said this. However, when you can calm yourself through hugs or other physical contact, the feel-good hormones tend to melt the cares of life away. This positive effect is going to make you feel fulfilled and less angst.

8. Boosts Your Immunity

Have you heard that there’s power in positive thinking? Well, it truly works, which is why many psychologists are touting this phrase. If you’re negative and downtrodden all the time, it will wear on you.

However, there are tremendous benefits to your immunity from oxytocin. See, the feel-good hormone counters things like cortisol caused by stress. A system with an overabundance of stress hormones like adrenaline will take a toll on your immune system.

So, the next time someone throws their arms around you in an embrace, don’t be so eager to pull away. They’re helping you boost your immunity and keeping you from getting sick.

9. Snuggling Makes Intimacy Better

Another hormone that hasn’t been discussed yet, but can also release during moments of contact, is dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter much like serotonin and norepinephrine. It might also help to restore proper cell function, making the messages between the body and the brain work better.

You might not realize that dopamine can also help you increase your desire for your partner. So that simple hug after a long day might lead to more intimate moments in your life, which is never a bad thing.

10. Conveys Emotions Without Saying a Word

Sometimes the spoken word is hard for folks, especially when they can’t put their thought into a proper way to articulate. However, when you’re wrapped in an embrace, your bodies communicate in a way that speaks volumes. Holding someone can make you forget about your horrible day and let them know how much they mean to you.

Final Thoughts on Snuggling with Your Loved One

When people consider the benefits of snuggling, they only think of their partner. However, to have that surge of hormones from your body can happen when you embrace your child or anyone. Even rubbing your shoulders can cause this chemical response if you’re desperate and stressed.

Why do you think pet owners are less stressed than other folks? It’s because of the constant embrace and the release of these hormones. Those warm feelings of being connected and having some touch is what many people are missing in their life. So, even if you don’t have a partner or an animal, you can find ways to stimulate your feel-good system to help your overall well-being.

The old saying that an apple a day will keep the doctor away might be accurate, but what if you found something that works even better than fruit? Snuggling up to your partner or someone you love can undoubtedly have many benefits that one cannot ignore.

12 Things That Prove Why Optimism Is So Important in Life

March 24, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Are you an optimistic person, or do you tend to be more pessimistic? Since the dawn of time, music and poetry have discussed the benefits of being a positive person. Scientists have discovered that optimism and living on the sunny side of life can significantly impact things like your longevity on this earth and the strength of your social connections.

Folks like surrounding themselves with positive people because it makes them feel better. No one wants to be around someone who constantly whines and complains, as they’re like a damp blanket thrown across a fire. Do you know a person who’s always negative and has a dark cloud of sadness that follows them wherever they go?

Why should you strive to be positive, and how can this benefit you in life? What advantages are being fueled by optimism rather than suffocated by negativity?

Ten Reasons Why Optimism Is So Important in Life

It’s effortless to mope and be upset about the things life has thrown your way. However, it takes a strong person to rise in the face of adversity and be happy anyway.

Being positive makes you a better person, and having an optimistic outlook means that getting out of bed tomorrow won’t seem like an arduous task. Here are reasons that prove why being optimistic is best for you and those around you.

1. Optimism Means You’ll Have a Better Mindset

You must develop a positive mentality, as your mind controls your entire body. It would help to have the proper mental position to keep things functioning normally. You can achieve so much more than you ever thought possible with an optimistic mindset.

Remember the old storybook where the little engine said, “I think I can, I think I can?” The world is your oyster when your mind is set on success and good things. However, when you are constantly thinking about negative things, it can cripple you emotionally.

2. It Benefits Both Your Mind and Body

Your words are powerful, and science has discovered that optimistic people will live longer than negative ones. The Today Show referenced a study conducted by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, and they found that people who live to be 85 years old and beyond do so by being positive. Additionally, they found that your demeanor is 25 percent dictated by genetics.

3. You’ll Have Better Social Networks When You Exude Optimism

Folks find that being around individuals who think their glass is half-full is much easier than those who are constantly negative. When you’re positive, you tend to have more friends and manage those relationships much more manageable. These bonds can impact your social life in both professional and personal settings.

Additionally, your positive or negative attitude can directly impact your health. There are many advantages to being a positive person, and if you’re born with an optimistic spirit, consider yourself lucky.

4. Optimism Helps You to Overcome Setbacks

There will be many setbacks in your life’s journey, but it’s not how many times you fall that matters. People are watching you and rooting for you, and when you exude positivity, you can get back up no matter how many times you stumble. You’re a survivor and can overcome almost anything.

5. Better Opportunities Will Come Your Way

The Universe rewards folks who have a good outlook on life. If you had to fill a customer service position, would you want to give it to a bubbly person who has a good perspective, or would you provide it to a sour person who barely cracks a smile?

Better opportunities will come your way because positivity is attractive. Your outlook can have blessings come to you that you never dreamed possible when you have the right attitude.

6. You’ll Be Your Best Self

Since you’re here on earth and trying to do what’s right, why not be the best version of yourself? Can you be your best self when you’re full of positivity?

If you live every day in doom and gloom, you’ll have mental health issues like depression and anxiety. You can help change your path by choosing optimism.

7. Optimism Allows You to Be More Solution Focused

An endearing characteristic of a positive person is that they desire to fix problems that come their way. They are solution-driven rather than falling to pieces at the first sign of trouble. They use their solution-based thinking to find creative resolutions, making them proactive. No wonder these folks are happier, as they don’t sweat the small stuff.

8. You Won’t Be Afraid of Failure

You want that ball to have plenty of bounce when you play basketball. A ball that’s half-flat will fall and stay down. However, the one pumped full of air will spring back and dance all over the court.

When you view the world with optimism, you won’t be afraid of failure as you know you will “bounce back.” No one likes a flat basketball, nor will they like a person so weighed down with pessimism. Positivity is the spring in your step that will keep you dancing and enjoying life.

9. Most are Future Orientated Thinkers

According to Science Direct, the Recency Effect describes people who tend to remember the most current events in their life. For instance, if you’ve just had a job loss and a turn of bad events, the person controlled by this effect will expect the bad luck to continue.

However, when you’re optimistic, you realize that you must look at the big picture rather than getting caught up in all the small details. Optimism tells you to keep moving forward, and you know that you can’t become stalled just because of a bit of setback.

10. You’ll Be One of the Great Communicators

Communication skills are essential in both your personal and professional lives. When you adopt an optimistic outlook, you have no issue communicating and sharing your desires with others.

You can always find something to talk about, and you make it easy to get to know you. People will find you endearing because your life is an open book, and you’re also eager to hear their story.

11. You’ll Learn to Use the Language of Motivation

Did you know that a language called motivation is a gift that leaders possess? You’ve likely had many bosses in your day, and the ones that know how to motivate you will always be the ones that stick out in your mind. In modern history, Sir Winston Churchill was a person who spoke this language.

He was tough as nails but also known as one of the best leaders ever. Why do his leadership skills stand out from the rest? It’s because of his great optimism. Remember when the British were losing badly during the war, he motivated his people and turned them around. Soon, they saw the same vision he had for the future of his country and were able to win.

Yes, all odds were against him, but his positivity helped him conquer the enemy. In his mind surrendering to the Germans was not going to happen, so he used his powerful influence to motivate the people. You’re able to move mountains when you think positively. People will be drawn to your positive nature and will believe in you.

12. Your Behaviors Are Infectious to Others When You Display Optimism

Happiness is contagious. Have you ever been in a dark room and opened the blinds to let the sunshine inside? As soon as the first slat was twisted open, the light would flood the room enveloping every surface. The same thing happens with optimism.

When you go into an atmosphere of depression and darkness, you can’t help but be a bright light of inspiration for others. Positivity is infectious, and you can spread it around.

Final Thoughts on Why Optimism Is So Important

Someone who has optimism is always hopeful and never defeated. These folks tend to be better in all aspects of their lives, including their careers, relationships, and personal. They have learned to keep stress and drama away using the power of positivity.

They are well-equipped to deal with issues when challenging situations arise because they have the right mindset. While it’s easy to get caught up in all the drama of the day, they tend to focus on the big picture rather than the minor inconveniences that pop up. They’ve learned to always search for a positive in a negative situation, and their health shows it.

It’s no wonder that studies show that those who live on the sunny side of life tend to have greater longevity. What can you do to become a more positive person, and how can it improve your quality of life?

6 Positive Relationship Habits That Make Couples Last

March 24, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

You want your relationship to last and build a secure, healthy, and happy partnership. You want your partner to be in it for the long run with you. But that’s easier said than done, especially in today’s dating scene. People break up all the time, and the chances are that you’ve seen your fair share of relationships that met their eventual end.

So, what’s the secret of those long-lasting couples that have been together for a decade and still seem so happy? Why does it look like some relationships never leave the honeymoon phase? What determines such longevity? There are many, but let’s start with just a few! Here are six positive relationship habits that make couples last.

Relationship Habit #1 – Expressing Regular Appreciation

The longer a relationship lasts, the less the people in it tend to remember to express their appreciation for each other. There’s no malice behind this trend – people assume that their partners know they love and appreciate them. Or they get so used to their partner’s actions that they forget to stop and truly soak in the love they receive.

The flippant, casual nature of how appreciation expressions decrease over time makes this so deadly for relationships. Research has shown that small gestures and expressions of thankfulness and appreciation for your partner can significantly boost relationship satisfaction.

All you need to do is keep noticing what your partner does and commenting positively on those things! Just make sure you’re being honest and genuine – people can tell when you’re faking something like that.

You can try doing these things:

Thank them for their hard work at home and in their career
Express the things you love about them in terms of their qualities and strengths
Tell them when they impress you
Support them when they’re going through something difficult and express your admiration for their perseverance, strength, and capabilities
Compliment them on their appearance regularly
Write little notes to each other
Get each other small but thoughtful gifts

Relationship Habit #2 – Doing Chores Together

There’s nothing that kills a relationship’s spark faster than feeling like a housekeeper, servant, or parent to your partner. Doing chores together and dividing up tasks you both dislike can help to facilitate bonding while diminishing resentment. You’ll also build trust with each other, and it’s a way to spend time together and make unpleasant tasks go by more quickly.

Labor division can indeed mean one partner ends up doing more chores. For example, a stay-at-home, homemaking partner will likely do far more chores than the partner who leaves the house to work. However, there’s a misconception that this division means that the working partner must do zero chores whatsoever. That’s not the reality! Here’s why:

· Chores Are Normal

Chores are an everyday part of life for all people. Full-time working individuals who are single will do 100% of their chores. In a relationship, those people don’t lose their personal responsibilities. Some of that work can, of course, be delegated to a partner, but they shouldn’t be responsible for 100% of the other party’s chores. This is especially true if the partner at home also has to raise and care for children, which is a whole exhausting ordeal in itself!

· Full-Time Homemakers Are Always “On”

When you work outdoors, there’s a point where you come home and switch off for the day. Homemakers, however, never get a break. They must keep doing work around the clock, but they’re not getting paid for this 24/7 overtime! It’s reasonable for a homemaker to do all the chores they can while their partner is away at work. But once both parties are at home together, it’s also reasonable for them to split their work so that both people can enjoy a better quality of life.

· Homemaking Is Not An “Easy” Job

There’s a common misconception that it’s easy to be the stay-at-home partner, but that’s far from the case. There’s a huge chunk of mental load that goes into managing a household, especially if raising children is also involved. The job of being a manager is a full-time, well-paid job outside of the home, and there’s no reason to view it as more accessible or as of less value at home. Treating a partner as if their work is “easy” is also a rather disrespectful way to interact with them!

Relationship Habit #3 – Taking Time To Interact Physically

No, we don’t just mean in the bedroom! If you’ve ever noticed that relationships tend to get less physically affectionate over time, then you know just how sad that change can be. Couples shouldn’t lose their physical affection – that’s how spark dies out and interests change.

Physical touch initiates the release of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” This hormone can boost mental health, and it also helps to facilitate bonding. In other words, when you cuddle, hug, or kiss your partner, you’re getting closer together and making each other feel better.

Take time each day to spend time cuddling with each other or simply holding hands. This can make a world of difference. Make sure that this type of time is a priority for both of you, even if it’s just 15 minutes of cuddling in bed before you turn in for the night.

If your relationship isn’t significant on physical touch, that’s okay! Just replace this with whatever love language or expression of affection you both prefer. What matters is that you’re getting the chance to communicate love to each other in meaningful ways.

Relationship Habit #4 – Spending Time Apart

It seems counterintuitive, but spending time apart is incredibly important for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Often, people get overly wrapped up in their partners and lose their sense of individuality in the process. This may be due to unhealthy, insecure attachment styles, or it might just be from overenthusiasm and idealism. Either way, it’s not great!

The idea that all couples must be two halves of a whole is a lovely sentiment, but if taken too literally, it has disastrous effects. Partners shouldn’t “complete” each other. They should complement each other but as two whole, complete individuals all on their own. That’s why each person needs to have time and space to be themselves, do their hobbies, and be their people.

The desire to live your whole life consumed by your partner, centering your universe on them, is certainly tempting for some. But that’s not healthy, and it’s only going to lead to codependent and insecurely attached relationships. Things will crash and burn if you don’t let them breathe.

So maintain your own identity for the sake of your relationship. Keep some interests that are just yours, have separate friends, go to places alone, and be independent!

Relationship Habit #5 – Arguing Fairly

Arguments are inevitable in most relationships. They don’t spell doom or gloom – if you do it right, that is! Studies show that expressing anger productively can lead to a happier relationship in the long term. Stronger couples are capable of fighting fairly and effectively. They do this by:

Addressing conflict and issues directly instead of avoiding or running away from them
Squashing resentment through open communication and positivity to resolve problems
Listening to each other and fully considering the point of view of the other party
Listening with a focus on understanding instead of responding
Avoiding negative forms of communication, such as name-calling, personal attacks, judgment, and defensiveness
Taking time to breathe and calm down if things get too heated
Respecting each other’s boundaries throughout this entire process
Picking battle wisely and choosing when not to pursue an issue
Accepting and letting go of battles that are left abandoned so you can both move on

In addition, positive relationships don’t get caught in the idea that you shouldn’t “go to bed angry” with each other. Strong couples know that getting enough sleep reduces irritability and allows people to revisit conflict with a clear head for better resolution. Research supports this, showing that couples who earn more than seven hours of sleep can resolve disputes and have calmer fights.

Relationship Habit #6 – Accepting And Respecting Flaws

The act of trying to change your partner is an act that’s doomed to fail. So is the act of trying only to find the “perfect” partner. These are both concepts that either won’t work or are entirely fictional. No one’s perfect, no matter how much they seem to be at first, and you don’t have the power to change others – only yourself.

Getting lost in the idea that your partner is perfect and without flaw is signing up for disappointment. You’ll see an idealized version of your partner that will be impossible for them to live up to. And, of course, you’ll be utterly blind to any negative behaviors that they do have.

But even worse than that is the act of trying to change your partner’s flaws. If you wouldn’t date your partner as they are, you shouldn’t date them at all. People aren’t projects! A happy, positive relationship will have partners who accept each other’s flaws and don’t try to get rid of them.

It’s worth noting, of course, that some flaws are more problematic than others. Things born from hostile intentions or that negatively affect you need to be discussed and can be grounds for separation.

But for the most part, most flaws are things that each partner must work on individually out of a desire for personal improvement. Partners should respect, accept, and even love those flaws! That’s what makes you both who you are, after all. At the end of the day, date people whose flaws you can happily live with and learn to adore them!

Final Thoughts On Some Relationship Habits That Make Couples Last

Long-lasting, happy relationships are born from the work and effort of both partners, giving their all to their commitment to harmony and positivity. If that’s something you want for your relationship, start including these six positive relationship habits into your bond with your significant other.

If you and your partner find that you may need some help in your relationship, there’s no shame in seeking marriage counseling! Even the happiest, healthiest relationships can earn benefits from couple’s therapy, so give it a shot if you think it’ll be helpful.

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