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A Cheating Partner Does These 10 Things Without Realizing It

August 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

A cheating partner makes relationships challenging, especially when they’ve had more than one affair.

What constitutes cheating differs for each couple, as some consider a telephone relationship emotional infidelity. Each couple must set boundaries within their relationship so that each partner clearly understands expectations and boundaries.

However, some people are born to cheat and have an innate ability to find some way to justify their actions. If you say you will never keep a cheating partner, you might want to think long and hard about that statement. You never know what you might do when you’re in that situation, and the matter is compounded when you have a family with this person.

Sadly, cheating is widespread. In fact, according to Marriage and Infidelity Statistics, the number one cause of divorce is cheating. The real shocker is how many people engage in such an activity. The same study shows that 50-60 percent of couples overcome cheating, but many will divorce immediately.

If you take someone back who steps out of the confines of your marriage, are you sending a message that you will forgive them time and again? Many people become serial cheaters, and not just men fall into this category. The same study found that many women fall into the arms of another lover.

A Tale of a Woman Scorned

Consider this scenario. Kayla married the love of her life at eighteen years of age. He had an affair by the time she turned twenty, but she forgave him. By her twenty-fifth birthday, he had cheated so many times she lost track.

She stayed with him because she was afraid, as she didn’t have the resources to support herself or their child. She told him numerous times they were through if he ever cheated again, but she never followed through with her veiled threats. However, each time she allowed him back into the marriage, it subconsciously said that his actions were okay.

They stayed together, but remained miserable for twenty years until Kayla had enough. Once their child was raised, she left and found someone faithful to her. However, she had major trust issues to work through as she’s been cheated one too many times.

Ten Classic Behaviors of a Cheating Partner

So, before you get involved with someone with a horrible history of failed relationships from cheating, and before you get your heart broken repeatedly, you need to know what to look for in a mate. Perhaps, you suspect your spouse of cheating but have no actual proof. Here are ten everyday things a cheating partner does without even realizing it.

1. A Cheating Partner Will Lie to You

Cheaters must cover their tracks at all costs, especially if they have a lot of money or children with them. So, they will do whatever it takes to ensure you don’t find out about their affairs. Their stories are so convincible that you believe them without hesitation.

The most told story is that they’re working late at the office or out of town on business. If time away from home seems to be becoming a habit, you may do some investigative work.

2. Things Change Romantically When One Person is a Cheater

When someone cheats, they will either want nothing to do with you romantically or be all over you. The difference comes down to someone’s personality style and how much guilt they feel. When one person has physical needs met by another person, they may push you away altogether.

However, they may want to be with you even more when they feel guilty for their actions. The other person may be trying new things with them, and they can’t get enough. If you notice a drastic change in the bedroom, it’s a sign that something probably isn’t right with them.

3. A Cheating Partner Hides Their Phone

Every cheater hides their phone or has a burner phone with a different number you don’t know about. They don’t want you to see who they’re calling or the text messages they’re sending back and forth. The good news is that with technology, it’s easy to get online and see a copy of who they’re calling or texting with most phone companies.

4. Cheating Partners Change Passwords or Create New Social Media Accounts

Imagine the shock and horror when Pam, a wife of 26 years, found a picture of her husband Shane on social media under the name George. No, he wasn’t hacked, but he formed a new identity to meet women without his wife knowing.

Social media is a great platform to meet people worldwide and is easy to track. Folks that cheat often use these platforms to help them keep things undercover.

5. Cheaters Seek People Who Feed Their Ego

One reason why so many people cheat is that they’re not getting what they need at home. Most folks automatically assume it’s physical needs, but many people crave their emotional desires met too. Sometimes it’s the ego that wants stroking a bit, and cheaters seek out those who make them feel superior and take away all poor self-esteem issues.

6. Cheaters Lie to Themselves

While the cheating partner may lie to you, you’re not the only one they’re dishonest with. They will manipulate the situation in their minds so that they feel like they’re not doing anything wrong. For instance, if you’re not giving them the romance they desire, they feel justified in seeking this attention outside your marriage.

7. Cheating Partners Invent Colorful Stories To Excuse Their Choices

The cheating partner will create narratives about themselves to make sense of their life and the world around them. Sadly, these narratives are what they use to excuse their choices. In their mind, they make it out as if they had no option in the first place.

Some folks will try their best to remain faithful to their spouse, but they will finally succumb to the passion as they feel the affair was “meant to be.”

8. Cheaters Avoid Arguments or Challenges

One of the main things cheaters do is avoid arguments and conflict. When something is wrong in their relationship, they would rather brush it under the rug than deal with the issues. They try to tell themselves that things are fine but know things are far from good with their partner.

It’s not uncommon for a cheating partner to have an intentional affair. They’re looking for a way out; the answer is having a “backup” plan with another person. They know you’ll be upset, and it might be just what you need to leave them.

9. Cheaters Blame Others for Their Actions

You may get the blame for the whole situation. Remember, there are always two sides to every story. However, when dealing with a cheater, all bets are off.

This person may feel you or the Universe is out to get them. They can create this dramatic narrative in their mind that paints you as the bad guy. Watch out though, some of these behaviors are very selfish.

According to A Conscious Rethink, many narcissists are skilled liars and manipulators. They know how to spin this whole situation around in their mind that puts you at fault. While not every person with Narcissist Personality Disorder is a cheater, they certainly have a higher probability of poor relationships.

10. A Cheating Partner Refuses to Take Responsibility

Breaking hearts and betraying trust is not easy to get over, but the cheating partner often feels little guilt for their actions. Lying through their teeth becomes effortless, so they will never see the situation as anything more than your fault.

They will lie to you, about you, and to themselves. Down deep, they know they’re doing something wrong, but they will justify it by making you the fall guy. No matter what happens, they will not take any responsibility for the aftermath.

Final Thoughts on Being Able to Reveal a Cheating Partner

Cheating is so commonplace these days that many people chalk it up to one of the facts of marriage. However, people with real commitments still feel this is the ultimate sin. Whether the affair was emotional or physical, it still crosses a line.

It’s unbearable when people look to others rather than their spouses. Shockingly, men often receive the dubious title cheater, but women are just as guilty. Women tend to get tied up in the emotional aspects of another lover, while men tend to be more about the physical elements.

If you suspect your partner is cheating, you should look for proof. If you find any signs listed above, then it’s time to confront them about their choices. Usually, if your spouse is cheating, you don’t have to look too hard to find the answers to all your questions.

How to Massage Your Face to Drain Lymphatic Fluid And Reduce Puffiness

August 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

Have you ever had issues with your face being puffy or bloated? It may happen when you’re sick of not getting enough rest. There’s an easy way to learn how to massage your face to drain lymphatic fluid so you look and feel better.

Understanding Your Lymphatic System

One of the vital parts of your immune system is your lymphatic system. You have hundreds of jelly-bean-shaped lymph nodes that are connected from head to toe. These small nodes strain lymph fluid and move it back into your bloodstream. During this transportation, they help prevent infection by removing body waste and carrying germ-fighting white blood cells.

A Clogged Drainage System

Typically, your lymphatic fluid has a clear path to circulate throughout your body’s lymph nodes. However, if the fluid encounters a blockage, it can’t move, and it starts to build up. When the swelling is chronic, it’s a condition called lymphedema.

What Causes Lymphedema?

Although acute lymphedema can cause puffiness in your face, a chronic state usually presents in the arms, legs, hands, and feet. What causes your lymphatic system to block and swell? An article published by the Mayo Clinic offers these four possibilities:

1. Infection

People who live in tropical or developing countries often get parasites or develop lymphatic infections. These conditions can block lymph nodes and restrict the movement of fluid.

2. Surgery/Injury

One of the most common ways you may experience lymphedema is if you’ve injured some lymph nodes. Many surgeries require the removal of surrounded nodes, especially certain cancers. If you have surgery that involves your blood vessels, some lymph node damage may occur, says the article.

3. Cancer

Frequently, cancer cells may block the flow of lymphatic fluid, causing lymphedema. If the tumor causes nodes to enlarge, it can also lead to swelling and edematous tissue. Massage therapy may help drain lymphatic fluid back to normal flow.

4. Radiation Treatment

Radiation is often used to treat cancer and other conditions. While it does destroy threatening cancer cells, radiation can also scar and damage good tissue and lymph nodes. It’s not unusual to have lymphedema in the area you’ve had radiation treatment.

Using Massage Therapy to Reduce Lymphedema

For several years, healthcare providers have recommended massage therapy for lymphedema throughout the body, especially the extremities. However, current practices have also included massage for acute facial swelling and puffiness. Can you clear effectively with massage?

According to an article published by the Cochrane Library, massage therapy has shown positive results for people who have surgery-induced lymphedema. The gentle pressure helps move the sluggish lymph fluid and reduce swelling in the affected area, per the article.

What about using massage therapy to drain lymphatic fluid in your face? A study published by the Lymphology Journal says that it helps reduce post-operative swelling and comfort after patients have impacted molars removed. So, it stands to reason that a facial massage could also reduce occasional puffiness and swelling at any time.

Draining Lymph Fluid as a Beauty Treatment

When you reach a certain age, your complexion isn’t as tight and forgiving as when you were younger. You may start to notice under-eye baggage, puffiness, small lines, and facial wrinkles. Some of these nuisances can be caused by sluggish lymph nodes and vessels.

A study published by the Journal of the European Academy of Dermatology and Venereology found promising results from using massage to reduce fat thickness in people with cellulite. The study suggests that draining lymph fluid may have skin firming benefits to help facial swelling.

Some people currently use facial massage in their beauty routine. Many say that it improves their complexion and reduces puffiness and swelling around their faces. How can draining lymphatic fluid in your face benefit you?

Professional Guidelines for Lymphatic Massage Therapy

If you want lymphatic massage just for aesthetic reasons, most certified aestheticians can do them. They are available in many spas and clinics across the nation. Just be sure that your professional has been trained and certified for this type of specialized massage.

Perhaps you have a diagnosed medical condition that has caused facial lymphedema; then, you should consider a professional with more extensive training. According to an article published by Massage Therapy License Guidelines, your therapist should be licensed by the Lymphology Association of North America. They will usually have a membership with the National Lymphedema Network, says the article.

How Do Massage Therapists Drain Lymphatic Fluid?

Think of your lymphatic system as a network of nodes and vessels that circulate lymph fluid throughout your body. When you have a blockage, your massage therapist uses their hands to restore its normal flow. They can work on any area that’s affected, usually your arms and legs.

They will use gentle movements and light pressure in the swollen area. These movements may include rubbing, pushing, and slight tapping. They will use their palms to pull gently and stretch your skin to encourage the lymphatic fluid to drain effectively. You will be encouraged to practice deep breathing exercises to improve your lymphatic circulation.

Most sessions usually last for an hour, and they can be done singularly or combined with other therapeutic techniques. Facial massage sessions don’t typically last as long. Results vary according to patients and the severity of their condition.

Doing Lymphatic Facial Massages at Home

Are you tired of looking in the mirror and seeing sags, bags, and puffiness? While these can be attributed to several reasons, poor lymphatic flow can also be an issue. It’s easy to learn how to drain lymph fluid and enjoy a tighter, radiant complexion.

Although these steps aren’t as involved as a professional facial, they can still be effective. You can add this facial massage to your morning and evening beauty routine. Plus, you needn’t go to a clinic or pay a cent.

• Practice Mindful Breathing

If you practice yoga or another type of meditation, you realize how vital mindful breathing is. With each breath cycle, you are aware of the life-giving oxygen that enters your body. It’s a cleansing feeling as you exhale carbon dioxide back into the air.

To start, place your palms on your tummy and inhale deeply through your nose. You should feel your belly meet your palms. Hold that breath for 1-2 seconds, then slowly exhale through your pursed lips. Now, your stomach should feel flat. Repeat this mindful breathing exercise 5-8 times.

After you’ve finished your mindful breathing exercises, notice how calm and relaxed you are. Find a quiet place where you can comfortably do your face massage. Whether you stand, sit, or lie down, the benefits will be the same.

• Using Gentle Pressure

If you have sluggish lymph fluid in your face, gentle pressure can restore its normal movement. Using your palms, apply gentle pressure on your forehead. Work slowly down your face as you lightly stretch your skin toward your neck. This movement is moving the blocked fluid to your neck’s lymph nodes.

• Massaging Puffy Eyes

The skin around your eyes and eyelids is exceptionally delicate, so use care when massaging these areas. Since your ring finger has less pull than your other fingers, use it to rub toward the nose lightly. Use the gentlest strokes and try not to pull the skin too much.

Once you’ve worked down your face and have massaged your eyes, give your face a couple of minutes to rest. Start from your forehead again and repeat these steps at least five times.

Three Possible Benefits of Lymphatic Draining

There are many benefits to draining your lymphatic system through massage, and here are just a few.

• Helps Purify Your Complexion

A lymphatic facial massage may help improve lymph flow in the deep tissues of your face. It may bring toxins closer to the skin’s surface so your body can eliminate them. A massage might help reduce acne breakouts.

• Soothe Sensitive Skin

Draining lymphatic fluid in your face may help reduce the reactions and redness associated with sensitivity. When done gently, a face massage may help soothe symptoms of dermatitis. It may reduce swelling and puffiness, also.

• Reduces Skin Fatigue

A sluggish lymph system may leave your complexion looking dull and tired. Lymphatic drainage may help make your skin firmer and more youthful. It can often reduce swelling around your eyes and make you appear more alert and radiant.

A Note of Caution

Most people have no adverse reactions when they massage their face to drain lymphatic fluid. Just make sure not to apply too much pressure and use clean hands when touching your face. If you’ve been diagnosed with any of these conditions, talk to your healthcare provider before trying a facial massage:

CHF: Congestive heart failure
An active infection in your lymphatic system
Swelling with unknown causes
History of blood clots
Active skin infections or other dermatological conditions

Final Thoughts About Draining Lymphatic Fluid in Your Face

Your lymphatic system maintains a delicate balance that keeps your body strong and healthy. If you have acute lymphedema in your face, these quick and easy tips may bring your system back to normal. Talk to your healthcare provider about these and other tips to treat your puffy and swollen face naturally.

Science Reveals WHY Stress Hormones Worsen Mental Health Disorders

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

Elevated stress hormones connect to poorer mental health. Countless studies have documented this relationship, but scientists have recently uncovered more about the dynamics. A new study confirms the function of glucocorticoid hormones (‘stress hormones’) and how they affect the brain. The research could have important implications for the prevention and treatment of mental disorders.

Researchers from the University of Bristol performed the study, which was published in Nature Communications. The team found a link between two corticosteroid receptors – the mineralocorticoid receptor (MR) and the glucocorticoid receptor (GR) – and ciliary and neuroplasticity genes in the hippocampus. This area of the brain helps with stress adaptation, learning, and memory.

Glucocorticoid hormones are cholesterol-derived stress hormones synthesized by the adrenal gland. They’re critical in healthy nervous system functioning and restoring homeostasis after a stressful event. When the body secretes excess or scant amounts of these hormones, it can lead to stress-related mental disorders.

Our bodies require a certain level of stress to function properly. However, chronic stress contributes to long-term negative health consequences. Unfortunately, in our modern world, more adults than ever live with constant stress. The American Psychological Association even refers to stress in America as a “national mental health crisis.”

About the Study of How Stress Hormones Worsen Mental Health Disorders

With this in mind, researchers wanted to understand what happens in the brain during a stressful event. The research team focused on uncovering what genes MR and GR interact within the hippocampus. They wanted to compare this activity during normal brain function and after a stressful event. Finally, they analyzed whether these interactions would change how the genes functioned and expressed themselves.

Using advanced next-generation sequencing, bioinformatics, and pathway analysis technologies, the team hoped to understand more about the relationship between stress hormones and mental health. Their findings uncovered new information about the relationship between MR and cilia function.

Why Stress Hormones Contribute to Mental Health Disorders

Cilia are microscopic, hairlike vibrating structures that extend from the surface of almost all mammalian cells. Well-functioning cilia help with crucial primary functions, including brain development and recurring brain plasticity. However, before this research, how cilia impacted neural development was mostly a mystery.

Scientists now have a better understanding of the crucial role of MR in cilia structure and function in neuronal development. They hope that the research could lead to treatments for cilia-related (developmental) disorders in the future.

Additionally, the researchers discovered that MR and GR interact with numerous genes involved in neuroplasticity processes. These include neuron-to-neuron communication as well as learning and memory functioning. However, a percentage of these genes have been associated with the development of mental disorders, such as:

major depression
anxiety
PTSD
schizophrenia spectrum disorders

As a result, dysfunctional stress hormones could impact mental health by acting on these ciliary and neuroplasticity genes. This groundbreaking study helps better explain the well-known relationship between glucocorticoids and mental health disorders.

Of course, the findings beckon further research in the future on how stress hormones help regulate these genes. However, this new research solves some of the mystery about the association between stress hormones and mental health. It also identifies specific receptors in the brain that act on vulnerability genes.

Hans Reul, Professor of Neuroscience in Bristol Medical School: Translational Health Sciences (THS), said: “This research is a substantial step forward in our efforts to understand how these powerful glucocorticoid hormones act upon the brain and what their function is.

“We hope that our findings will trigger new targeted research into the role these hormones play in the aetiology of severe mental disorders like depression, anxiety and PTSD.”

In the future, the team will study how chronic stress impacts stress hormone action via MR and GR on the hippocampus genome. A BBSRC grant will also allow them to analyze glucocorticoid action via MR and GR upon the female brain genome. The impact of stress hormones on females isn’t widely known, as most previous research in this area involved males.

Five ways to lower stress hormones naturally, at home

We can’t totally escape stress in the modern world, but we can learn to manage it more effectively. If you’ve been feeling more stressed lately, try these natural remedies:

Prioritize sleep. When you don’t get proper sleep, it throws your cortisol levels out of whack. Make sure to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night and maintain a regular sleep schedule.
Exercise regularly. Studies have consistently found that exercise helps relieve stress, improves sleep quality, and reduces cortisol. Aim for at least three hours of moderate aerobic exercise each week and one or two hours of strength training.
Practice mindfulness. Much of the stress in our lives comes from our response to events rather than the situations themselves. Becoming more aware of our thoughts by practicing meditation or other mindfulness techniques can greatly reduce stress. By simply observing your thoughts without judging or reacting to them, you can exert more control over your life.
Eat a balanced diet. It’s been well-documented that poor nutrition can cause mental and physical health problems. For example, one study found that a diet high in added sugar, refined grains, and saturated fat increased cortisol levels. A diet high in whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and polyunsaturated fats had the opposite effect.
Breathe deeply. Have you ever noticed that your breathing gets shallow and fast when you’re stressed? By practicing deep breathing techniques, you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps lower stress hormones.

Final thoughts on why stress hormones can cause mental disorders

The majority of people today seem to deal with chronic stress. This may explain our overall poor health, as researchers have linked elevated stress to numerous conditions. In a new study, a research team found that stress hormones impact certain genes in the brain. These ciliary and neuroplasticity genes in the hippocampus help with vital brain functioning. However, they also can lead to mental health disorders when the glucocorticoid receptors are impaired.

Researchers hope this groundbreaking information will lead to better treatments for mental disorders. By keeping stress hormones in check, hopefully, we can all enjoy a more peaceful existence.

18 Habits That Help to Increase Your Mental Energy

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Butler

Do you feel like your mind is getting fuzzy? The routine grind of going to work, fighting through rush hour traffic, going home, and never getting enough sleep is wearing you down. And worst of all, you don’t care that much anymore – about anything. Nothing excites you. Your mental energy has just seeped away.

But you can get that energy back. You don’t have to walk around feeling dull and exhausted all the time. Let’s look at eighteen habits you can develop to replenish your mental energy and get your energy back.

Eighteen Habits That Improve Your Mental Energy

Try a few of these seventeen things to boost your focus and clarity. Start small–perhaps one or two at first–and build from there.

1. Get a good night’s sleep every night.

Set up a regular sleep schedule. Go to bed at the same time every night.
While naps are pleasant, they interfere with your nighttime sleep. Don’t nap.
Avoid caffeine after the early afternoon.
Don’t eat large meals close to bedtime.
No alcohol close to bedtime.

2. Exercise in the afternoon, although not within 2 to 3 hours of bedtime.

As strange as it seems, exercising gives you more energy. Sitting on your bottom in front of the TV drains your energy, especially your mental energy.
At least 20 minutes of walking or another exercise, preferably 30 minutes each day, will make you feel much better.

3. Exercise your mind as well as your body.

Memorize. Start memorizing poetry or the capitals of countries or states. Recite the poems while you exercise your body. Memorization builds mental muscles.
Learn something new. Take a course in astronomy or art history, or English literature at your local college. You’ll enjoy the interaction with the students.
Read. Books are the roads to an infinite number of worlds. Go explore.

4. Take a hike in the forest, on the beach, in the mountains.

Experiencing the peace and beauty of Nature allows your mind to relax and find its own peace.
Get away from technology. Turn your phone off so that you are not disturbed.

5. Meditate or pray.

Mindfulness is a variation of meditation in which you focus entirely on the present moment, experiencing it in its entirety.
Meditation, especially mindfulness training, improves your mental alertness, according to Harvard University.
Reducing stress and anxiety increases mental energy.

6. Renew old acquaintances.

Call a friend from your childhood or high school.
Talk about the old days.
Beef up those memories and enjoy getting in touch with people you liked once.
Set up a lunch date.
Better yet. Find a couple of your old buddies and spend an evening with them. You will all have fun.
Please make sure they’re positive people, though, optimistic, friendly, funny.

7. Cut yourself away from negative people.

Even if they are family, stay away from depressing people, at least until you have your energy back. Then you can deal with them.
You know the negative type. They’ll look at a beautiful blue sky and predict rain. No one is ever good enough, including you. These people drag you down.
They cause you to lose your mental energy. They’ll draw you into their depressed state.
They need help, but unless you’re a psychologist, you’re not qualified to save them.

8. Plan to do activities that you enjoy.

Whether it’s hiking, skiing, riding a horse or a bike, collating your stamp collection or photographs, spend some time doing something fun.
Include your family or friends, or go it alone, whatever works best for you.
You can become overwhelmed by your work. Give your mind a healthy, happy break.
If it’s something you can do every day, then make the time.
You can walk your dog, swim, play basketball, or sit and read that novel you bought.
It doesn’t have to be active. Restful fun is still fun.

9. Write a few lines every day or even once a week.

Writing in a journal can help you release the negative ideas and thoughts you’ve built up.
A 2011 study showed that teenagers who wrote in a journal daily performed better on tests than those who did not.
Writing down your feelings, emotions, and worries helps to clear your mind and improve your focus.
A study of adults with chronic illness divided into two groups: one group that wrote in journals; another that did not write. They found that the writers experienced fewer symptoms and generally felt better than the non-writers.
It seems that writing down how you feel can improve how you feel.

10. Spend time with the ones you love.

Show love to your family or friends. Say positive things. “I love you.” “I forgive you.”
Reach out and give of yourself. Share your time and energy with them. It’s the best way to show you care.
Show them that you’re impressed by their work, creativity, or humor. A little praise goes a long way to making everyone feel better.

11. Do something kind for a stranger.

Help someone pick up spilled groceries or books or papers.
Pay for someone else’s lunch. The cop sitting by himself at the diner will be given a real boost to his day if you show your appreciation by buying him breakfast.
Stop and give the guy on the corner a little money. The Mayo Clinic suggests that kindness reduces serum cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress.
Doing something kind for someone else brings joy to your heart and a smile to your lips. Even Harvard University researchers agree that volunteering might be excellent for your mental health–though they are still trying to learn why.

12. Fill your mind with positive thoughts.

Get rid of envy. It’s a waste of time and energy. If you want something, work for it.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself. If you’re in a bad situation, work your way out. Think of ways to improve your life.
Don’t worry about what other people think. Do try to measure up to those with good opinions of you.
Have a good opinion of yourself. Make a list of your strengths and good qualities. Work on making a list longer.
Don’t be a poor loser. If you win, be gracious. If you lose, be gracious.

13. Get rid of the chip on your shoulder.

Attitude is critical to your success in life.
Please do not feel that the world owes you because it doesn’t. You owe the world. It would help if you contributed to making your life meaningful. Think about ways to give to your society.
Go out each day with a smile on your face and a determination to make the world better in your heart.

14. Learn from your mistakes.

Doing the same thing over and over is going to produce the same results.
If it doesn’t work, go back to the beginning and try again, differently this time.
This can apply to building a chair or building a relationship.

15. Try something new.

You can read a book from a genre you’ve never tried or go to an Ethiopian restaurant or learn to skate.
Or you can try a new twist on an old recipe or vary the route you take to work.
Changes don’t have to be large. Little changes can make a difference.

16. Be creative.

Go to painting night at the local pub.
Take an art class.
Start writing that novel you’ve had wandering around in your head for years.
Write poetry.
Your writing will be much improved if you take a few creative writing classes.

17. Clean up your work area or your house.

Clear your space. Organize the papers. Put the books back on the shelf. Put pens in a drawer. Minimize the number of things you see when you’re working.
A large input of stimuli to the brain makes it difficult to focus.
Do the same for your home. Could you clean it up? You’ll feel better, and you’ll have more mental energy.

18. Write down lists.

Give your brain a break. Don’t try to keep all those things in your memory. It clutters up your mind and drains your mental energy.
Write down the list of things you’re supposed to get at the store.
Write down your appointments on your calendar.
If you have to do it, write it down.

Final Thoughts on Building up Your Mental Energy.

Changing your mind’s orientation from negative to positive is not immediate. Your mental energy will increase, but it takes time. Start by making a list of what you want to change. Then start to work. Remember. Anything worthwhile takes work.

The first change you might try is to smile more. Smiling boosts your mental energy. And that, after all, is what you want.

11 Things Never to Stop Doing For Yourself

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Butler

How would your family and friends react if you treated them the way you treat yourself? Would they be grateful for your kindness or be hurt and angry? It’s an essential question that’s worth pondering in your soul.

When you hear the terms self-confidence and self-love, you may be hesitant because they sound narcissistic. It’s not vain and selfish to consider your well-being and satisfaction in life. Without respecting your life and needs as a human being, you can never do the same for others.

You have a right to be happy and ensure your daily needs. It’s also your right to show people how you expect to be treated. If you stop doing these things, you can lose yourself in a whirlpool of depression and negativity.

Eleven Things You Should Always Do for Yourself

Do you want to brighten your life with positivity and joy in the present? You are the only person in the universe who is responsible for that goal. Here are 11 beneficial actions that you must never stop doing for yourself.

1. Create Your Own Joy

Think of your life as a blank canvass that encompasses birth to death. You’ve had countless people who have touched their brushes to your canvass to help form an outline. Their influence may be true or false, and it’s up to you when it comes to the final product.

Don’t allow anyone to have control of the joy in your heart. Continue to do activities that bring you pleasure and happiness. Nobody has the right to tell you how to think or how to feel, so choose joy over defeat.

2. Reinvent Your Life

Have you ever felt like you were in a rut? Even when things are going well in your life, you can still get tired of the “same old stuff.” If you are stuck in a routine and are bored silly, maybe you’ve stopped reinventing yourself.

When was the last time you were impulsive and did something just for fun? It may be your first step. What does it mean to “reinvent” your life?

It doesn’t mean that you throw aside who you are to become something you’re not. Life reinvention is discovering new skills and ideas and discarding what doesn’t work for you anymore. According to an article published by Mission Originals, it is a process that can start at any time in your life and is a perpetual evolution.

Have you always wanted to learn another language or play a musical instrument? Perhaps you’re burned out in your present career and long for a change. Discover the potential you’ve always had and create another rich facet in your life.

3. Offer Kindness

The beautiful thing about kindness is that it’s a priceless gift that costs you nothing to give. A study published by the National Library of Medicine suggests a positive correlation between acts of kindness and subjective happiness.

If you want to continue to flourish in joy, it makes sense never to stop offering kindness. The same study found that kindness for yourself was also a positive benefit. Never miss a chance each day to do something thoughtful for others and yourself.

4. Believe in Your Potential

Do you feel confident in your attributes, skills, and abilities? Maybe you’ve listened to negative self-talk so long that it’s affected your esteem. No matter your age or where you are in life, never stop being a cheerleader for you. Nix the degrading self-talk and assert your potential every day.

5. Show Gratitude

When you show gratitude for all your blessings, you’d be amazed at how your moods will improve. According to an article published by Forbes, gratitude does double duty. Not only is it a distinct feeling of appreciation and thankfulness, but it’s also an emotion you share with others.

What could make a humble peasant in a third-world country radiate with joy while some billionaires never find contentment? The missing link may be the gratitude that’s shown or the lack thereof. Right at this moment, are you grateful for all you have?

Another point to remember is to be grateful for what you “don’t” have. When you feel low and deprived, remember that there are countless people whose struggles are more significant. The realization may be a sobering experience for you.

Some people find that keeping a gratitude journal keeps them aware of their countless blessings. If you write in your journal every day, you can look back on previous entries for inspiration. Don’t stop showing gratitude for yourself, your circle of loved ones and friends, and what you have.

6. Find Humor in Your Life

How many times have you been having a horrible day, but someone lightened the mood by using some simple humor? An article published by the National Library of Medicine states that laughter can have a positive effect on your well-being. It can help lower the stress hormones that eventually lead to severe health conditions.

Perhaps the best source of chuckles and giggles is your own experiences. You’re never too mature or too “important” to laugh at yourself. It’s a great stress reducer when you learn that you can’t take everything so seriously, especially your funny mistakes.

Do you feel stressed today? Consider spending time with some friends or loved ones who make you laugh, or you should grab some snacks and watch one of your favorite comedies to let the chuckles ensue.

7. Never Stop Smiling

One of the most beautiful universal human expressions is your smile. It conveys a multitude of emotions like kindness, acceptance, and joy without saying a word. It’s still up to scientific debate whether smiling uses fewer muscles than frowning, but smiling does make you feel better.

If your smile isn’t genuine, people will notice. There’s something about a natural grin that opens your heart and attracts others. Plus, it’s hard to frown when you are around someone who is smiling at you.

If you have a few fine lines and wrinkles around your mouth, wear them with pride. A sincere smile not only puts the other person at ease, but it helps you to relax, too. While smiling is not an expression appropriate for all situations, it is still one of your best features that people will remember.

8. Think Positive

Some people may scoff at positive thinking as being naïve or unrealistic. Yet, they may feel quite comfortable by shifting blame and being negative. Even when you can’t change a situation, your attitude toward it can change.

An article published by Business Insider shares that people who can balance a positive attitude with a realist outlook tend to enjoy more success and happiness. When used in tandem with realizing your potential, you’ll be apt to have more positive results in your life.

9. Never Stop Trying

Are you afraid to step out on faith and your potential because you’re afraid you’ll fail? Keep in mind that no successes throughout history came without failures. Some of the most successful people in the past and present had to overcome profound odds to reach their goals.

If you are still within reach of your destiny, it’s not time to stop trying. Have you already accomplished one of your life’s goals? Instead of being complacent and bored, stay busy and strive for another peak.

10. Listen to Your Gut Feelings

That inner voice you’ve heard since the beginning is your lifeline. At some points in your journey, you may have doubted yourself. When you are in a pressing dilemma, your gut feelings will usually guide you in the right direction.

How many blunders and painful experiences have you survived in your life? Did you listen to your inner voice or plug your heart’s ears? Keep your body, mind, and soul in tune with the Universal voice and trust it.

11. Treat Yourself Every Day

Doing something nice for yourself needn’t cost a dime. However, don’t ever stop splurging for yourself on occasion, either. A quiet walk in the woods, getting a mani-pedi, or going on a date by yourself are all ways that you can relax and celebrate “you.”

When you’re beaten down by stress, some time off can be a pleasure. It can be a half-hour diversion or a leisurely weekend retreat. You can spend it alone or with someone you love.

If you have a crazy schedule, make it a point to schedule time just for you. It could be anything from an afternoon in the bookstore to enjoying pillow talk with your partner. While you offer kindness and treat others, don’t forget to add a few goodies for you to enjoy.

Final Thoughts about Things Never to Stop Doing for Yourself

Only you have the power over your emotions and your self-confidence. That’s why you must continue with good habits that benefit your being. These are just a few of the best things you could ever do for yourself.

MSU Study Finds That Naps Don’t Help Sleep Deprivation

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

After a restless night’s sleep, a cat nap may sound tempting. Unfortunately, a new Michigan State University sleep deprivation study found that daytime naps don’t counteract the effects of losing sleep.

“We are interested in understanding cognitive deficits associated with sleep deprivation. In this study, we wanted to know if a short nap during the deprivation period would mitigate these deficits,” said Kimberly Fenn, associate professor of MSU, study author, and director of MSU’s Sleep and Learning Lab. “We found that short naps of 30 or 60 minutes did not show any measurable effects.”

Published in the journal Sleep, the study marks one of the first to analyze the effectiveness of cat naps. For people with packed schedules, short naps can help them power through the day. However, MSU’s Sleep and Learning Lab discovered that these power naps couldn’t substitute for quality sleep at night. On the plus side, they did observe some noticeable benefits of daytime naps.

Dr. Fenn Said:

“While short naps didn’t show measurable effects on relieving the effects of sleep deprivation, we found that the amount of slow-wave sleep that participants obtained during the nap were related to reduced impairments associated with sleep deprivation.”

Slow-wave sleep (SWS), or deep sleep, is considered the most restorative sleep stage. It’s characterized by high amplitude, low frequency brain waves called delta waves. During this sleep stage, your body and muscles relax completely. Your heart rate and breathing also become the slowest in slow-wave sleep.

“SWS is the most important stage of sleep,” Fenn said. “When someone goes without sleep for a period of time, even just during the day, they build up a need for sleep; in particular, they build up a need for SWS. When individuals go to sleep each night, they will soon enter into SWS and spend a substantial amount of time in this stage.”

A MSU Sleep Deprivation Study Proves That Naps Don’t Help.

The study on the effect of naps on sleep deprivation involved 275-college aged participants. Fenn’s research team included MSU colleague Erik Altmann, professor of psychology, and Michelle Stepan, a recent MSU alumna currently working at the University of Pittsburgh.

At the beginning of the study, participants performed cognitive tasks when they arrived at MSU’s sleep lab. Then, researchers assigned them randomly to three groups:

The first group got sent home to sleep;
The second remained at the lab overnight and had the option of taking either a thirty or sixty-minute nap;
The third didn’t take any naps to counteract sleep deprivation.

The following morning, all participants gathered back at the lab for the second round of cognitive tasks. This measured attention and place keeping, or the ability to complete steps in order without repeating or skipping them, even after being interrupted.

Fenn said this:

“The group that stayed overnight and took short naps still suffered from the effects of sleep deprivation and made significantly more errors on the tasks than their counterparts who went home and obtained a full night of sleep. However, every 10-minute increase in SWS reduced errors after interruptions by about 4%.”

While the numbers may seem insignificant, Fenn said a 4% decrease in errors could save lives. For example, consider the types of errors that could occur in sleep-deprived surgeons, police officers, or truck drivers. In these careers, a few cat naps could actually make the difference between life and death.

“Individuals who obtained more SWS tended to show reduced errors on both tasks. However, they still showed worse performance than the participants who slept,” she said.

Fenn hopes the research will encourage more people to make quality sleep a priority. The study also proves that naps, even if they include SWS, can’t substitute for a good night’s sleep.

Other ways sleep deprivation can impact health.

In addition to affecting your memory and cognitive performance, a lack of quality sleep can pose other dangers. Sleep deprivation has been associated with the following:

Falling asleep while driving, which can lead to serious injuries or death. The Institute of Medicine estimates that 20% of all motor vehicle crashes in the US are caused by drowsy driving. This equates to around 1 million crashes, 500,000 injuries, and 8,000 deaths annually.
It can make you dehydrated. A study by Penn State also published in the journal Sleep analyzed how sleep affects hydration in American and Chinese adults. Researchers found that adults who slept six or fewer hours per night had a 16-59% higher chance of being dehydrated. When you sleep, your body releases a hormone called vasopressin that regulates hydration. Sleep deprivation causes this hormone to become imbalanced, which therefore leads to dehydration.
Sleep deprivation can cause weight gain. A study by the Endocrine Society found that losing just 30 minutes of sleep per day can negatively impact metabolism and weight. At the beginning of the study, participants with weekday sleep debt had a 72% higher risk of obesity. At the six-month mark, weekday sleep debt significantly increased the risk of obesity and insulin resistance.

How to improve sleep quality

If you frequently struggle to get a good night’s rest, these tips may help you:

Turn off electronics a few hours before bed. The blue lights emitted from phone and computer screens can keep you awake at night.
Maintain a regular sleep schedule. The body and mind love routine, so it’s important to have a consistent bedtime.
Keep your room cool. Most experts recommend setting your thermostat to anywhere between 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit for a comfortable sleep.

Final thoughts on sleep deprivation study proving how naps can’t help make up for lost sleep

Many people believe that they can make up for lost sleep by taking naps. Unfortunately, a new study reveals that those cat naps can’t replace sound sleep at night. Researchers discovered that even naps that included the most restorative sleep, SWS, didn’t compare to a full night’s sleep. Participants who only took naps performed significantly worse on cognitive tasks compared to the group who slept normally.

The team hopes this study will reinforce the importance of sleep because we don’t get near enough in today’s fast-paced world of distractions.

10 Things A Woman Does When She Truly Loves You

August 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

How can you tell if someone truly loves you? Is there a specific way they look at you, or is it all about the physical connection? Love is about so much more than speaking those famous words, as it requires action behind it.

When you’re in love, many changes take place in your body. According to Science Alert, love causes a firestorm of your neurochemicals, like oxytocin and dopamine. Your brain becomes flooded with pleasure when these reward centers are stroked.

You will find that you have a stronger desire for intimacy, less likely to perceive pain, and your dependence on this person becomes an addiction. When you find someone who makes you feel all these sensations, you’ll climb any mountain and swim any sea to see this person happy and content.

Nicholas Sparks became famous for his saying that the most beautiful kind of love is the type that awakens the soul, as it makes you want more. It starts a fire deep within that brings peace of mind, and it puts a bounce in your step. Remember those feelings of your first crush or being close to someone who just made you weak at your knees?

While those are all incredible sensations to experience, true love goes one step further.

What Women Do When They’re In Love

If you’ve found the woman of your dreams, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, how will you know? While it helps to have some physical attraction, beauty is only skin deep.

It would help if you connected on a different level, a plateau where your spirits are in harmony. Here are ten things that a woman will do for you when she truly loves you.

1. She Listens To You

When someone is in love with you, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are important to them. When they have conversations with you, they’re engaged in them. They hang on every word that comes out of your mouth, as they don’t want to miss one thing.

They’ve become so good at listening that they know things like your favorite candy bar, the name of the street where you grew up, your likes and dislikes with food, and your dreams for the future. Proper communication is essential in any relationship, and your woman will learn how to communicate with you.

She desires to hear your thoughts, dreams, and how good or bad your day. She is so into you that she could listen to you speak for hours, to be close, and get to know your heart better.

2. She Does Little Things

When you’ve found a lady that connects with you on a deeper level, then she will do little things to make your life better. She might ensure you have a fresh cup of coffee before work each day, or she might start your car to allow it to warm up when it’s cold. She wants to ensure your belly is full, and your heart is bursting.

While it’s nice to experience big vacations and new purchases together, it’s those little things that matter most.

3. She’ll Enhance Her Cooking Skills

Most women want to learn to cook well for their families. If she’s not the most incredible cook, she might take lessons. If she already knows the basics, then she might be eager to try out some new recipes to please you.

Every lady knows that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and she’s going to do everything in her power to make sure that your belly is full.

4. She Cares About Your Safety

The sign that you’ve found someone who loves you is when they care about your safety. It may be something as small as asking you to text when you arrive to work safely, or she’ll watch you each time you back out of the driveway for one last glimpse. She knows that no one is promised tomorrow, so she’s going to be extra protective over you.

5. She Texts You A lot

People love to text. She wants you to know what’s going on in her day, and she wants to know what’s going on in yours too. She might text you a joke or a riddle to make you smile.

No matter how many times she calls or texts, you don’t seem to mind. You might smile a little when you see it’s her making contact throughout the day. Without these little messages back and forth, you would be lost.

Send these sweet text messages to your partner.

6. She Wants to Explore and Have New Adventures

Most relationships go through the new phase where you want to see and explore new things together. Before you have children and settle down, you want to see the world and do those wild and crazy things. She has a wanderlust when it comes to seeing and experiencing new things, and she can’t wait for you to be a part of all those selfies from various sites around the world.

7. She’ll Change Her Social Media Status

Why is it that they can’t wait to change their social media status when someone loves you? They want to shout it from the rooftops that you belong to them, so the best place to do that is on social channels. When they want the world to know, they will connect your pages by stating that you’re in a relationship.

When a lady is in love, she will mark her territory to warn others to stay away.

8. She Has A Healthy Amount of Jealousy

Jealousy is one of those things that having a little bit is okay. However, it can get out of hand quickly. According to Focus on The Family Canada, you have a sense of protection and pride when you love someone, and there’s nothing wrong with marking your territory.

While she might not care if someone hugs you at her family reunion, she will be fighting mad if a coworker shows the same gesture. The only hugs she wants you to have are from her, and anyone that invades her space may be in for a catfight.

Healthy jealousy makes you feel special and wanted, but it can become unhealthy when she starts trying to accuse you of things you didn’t do, or she sees every relationship as sinister.

9. She Celebrates All Holidays

Most women have high regard for holidays and other special occasions. She will remember your first kiss, the first time you make love, and other little milestones in your relationship. Don’t worry; she’s probably got them written on the calendar so that she can celebrate with you.

Outside of relationship milestones, the holidays are significant to her. You know there will be holiday gifts, birthday presents, and parties, as well as a big spread on Valentine’s Day. It’s important to her to know that she loves you, and she will show you on these special days by gift-giving.

From turkey day to the 4th of July, she has plans to spend them all with you. You find that you like that she makes such a big deal over these holidays because not only is it fun, but she makes life worth living.

10. She’ll Cry With You

You’re going to have bad days, and there will be those times when you want the world to go away. The wonderful thing about finding someone who truly loves you is that they will cry with you. When someone does you wrong, she will be mad at them too.

She’ll curl up in your arms after a long day, and she will let you cry on her shoulder. When you hurt, she hurts, and she will do everything in her power to make things right for you.

Final Thoughts On When Someone Truly Loves You

As you maneuver through relationships, you will learn that there are different types of love. Additionally, you will be able to distinguish between those types after a few experiences. Some ladies will feel more like a friend with benefits than the love of your life, and some women need lots of attention to keep them happy, which can be miserable.

Since each couple has unique personalities, every relationship will vary. However, when you truly fall in love, it’s like everything seems easy. You fit together like a sock and shoe, and she makes you want to be a better person.

Not only does she change and do all the extra things for you, but you find that your making changes to be the person she needs. You may do the silliest things just because she makes you feel weak at the knees. You know you’re hooked when you count down the days, hours, and minutes until you get to see her again.

While many people will come and go in your life, someone who truly loves you is a gem. It’s someone who connects with you mind-body and soul, and they’re your happily ever after. Though there is much debate about soul mates and such, many people believe when they meet this person, their heart knows from the minute they lay eyes on them.

8 Signs from the Universe That It’s Time to Be Still and Reflect

August 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

As you reminisce about some of the most inspiring moments in your life, they probably weren’t all in the open. Many of them may have been experienced in lone times of silent meditation and introspection. As your ever-present Guide, the Universe gently urges you to be still and in touch with your inner self.

The constant chatter in your brain isn’t always beneficial. Some of this internal dialog can have negative consequences. Tools such as meditation and visualization are ways to hush these voices and tune in to the Universal vibrations.

When you feel out of control, this cosmic heart allows you to be still as it embraces you unconditionally. During these divinely silent moments, your senses and psychic abilities are heightened. You’re more apt to pay attention to the directions you need to take to reach your destiny.

“Be still and know that I am God.” ~Psalm 46:10

Eight Signs It’s Time Just to Sit and Be Still

When your life feels stale and unsatisfying, the Universe is ready to help. It will never overrule your free will. Although the Divine exists in the eternal past and future, it can be your most valuable ally in the present. All you need to do is to be quiet and open your heart and soul.

Are you ready for divine intervention from the Creator? Maybe you haven’t caught some of the subtle signs. Here are eight ways that the Universe may be trying to get your attention for some quiet time.

1. It Might Be Time to Be Still When Even Close Friends and Family Irritate You

No matter how close you are to people, they can get on your nerves from time to time. You can annoy them, too. When this irritation is constant, the Universe may be trying to get your attention.

Have you noticed that you have a sense of dread each time your phone rings or you hear a notice from your email? Maybe your conversations are shorter, and you are snapping at others for no reason. You love the people in your circle of family and friends, but you may not be enjoying their company anymore.

It may seem like everything they do or say makes you see red. If you recognize this situation, remember that you’re not morphing into a people-hating grouch. Perhaps your Higher Power encourages you to be still and listen to your inner voice for a while.

2. Your Emotions Are All Over the Place

As a human, you can experience a broad range of emotions. According to an article by The Greater Good Science Center, psychologists have identified at least 27 human emotions. You’ve probably experienced them all so far in your life according to mood and situation.

While most people stay emotionally balanced, there may be times that you feel like your emotions are going haywire. For a while, you may be angry at the world, and it can suddenly switch to a sense of profound sadness. You might think that you aren’t in control of your moods anymore.

Of course, mood swings may be caused by underlying physical or mental conditions that need to be addressed. However, you may be lost in your emotions because you’re out of touch with yourself. Your mood swings may be a silent clue from the Universe that you need to step back and reconnect with your spirit.

3. You Experience Constant Frustration When You Need Time to Be Still

It’s often challenging to explain frustration since this emotion is a mixture. Some of the assortment may include anger, fear, sadness, and impatience. Frustration can also mask feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.

Think of the times in your life that you have felt this cocktail of emotions the strongest. You’ve probably noticed that your frustration was present during times of life changes, loss, and upheavals. Maybe you feel frustrated and helpless now.

You’re receiving a Universal cue to be still and re-evaluate your paths. Are you unfulfilled in your career or personal relationships? Taking a quiet break from the world might help you realize the changes you need to make to enrich your life.

4. You Feel the Need to Spend More Time Alone

While humans are social beings, you still crave time to yourself. Some of your most profound connections with the Universe may happen when you’re alone with your thoughts. Your vulnerability helps you build trust and rapport with a Higher Power.

You needn’t move to a remote mountaintop and live as a hermit forever. Sometimes it’s helpful to be still and disappear from the social radar for a day or two. Maybe a weekend hideaway by yourself might invigorate your spirits and inspire you to create goals you want to achieve.

5. Your Health is Affected

You are a triune entity that’s a delicate balance of body, soul, and spirit. If any component of your being becomes unbalanced, the other two are negatively affected. Therefore, most holistic practitioners also address mental and spiritual conditions when they evaluate physical ailments.

Although microbes or genetic predispositions can cause physical disorders, an unbalanced life can also make you feel weak and sick. You go from feeling joy and ease to the opposite, which is a disease.

Have you noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately? Maybe you had a physical exam and tests that came back with no problem. Yet, you have unexplained aches and pains and perhaps are experiencing digestive issues.

When your life is unbalanced, the Universe reaches out to get your attention. What you may feel as a strange sickness may be a message to you. The Universe may be trying to warn you of a more serious physical condition or that you need to be still and quietly heal.

6. You Have Heightened Anxiety Levels

An article published by the National Alliance of Mental Illness states that anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental illness. In fact, at least 40 million people in the US have it. Although you can often pinpoint things and situations that make you anxious, generalized anxiety usually lacks explanation.

Anxiety may run the spectrum of feeling a bit uneasy to full-blown panic. Frequently just worrying about being anxious may bring on a panic attack. It’s a miserable situation that makes you feel as if you are losing control or dying.

The good news is that anxiety disorders are also some of the easiest to treat. If you’ve noticed that your anxiety levels have spiked recently, ask yourself why. Is the Universe sending up red flags for you?

While generalized anxiety can’t always be explained, situational anxiety may revolve around toxic people or circumstances. The Universe has your best interests at heart and may be alerting you to make changes. Please realize that this loving Cosmic Power won’t lead you where it can’t sustain you.

7. You’re Chronically Exhausted

You may be busier now than you can ever recall in the past. Even with modern conveniences and technological advances, it may seem like you have less time in the day than ever. Juggling your responsibilities to home, work, and society may leave you depleted.

Most of the time, you may feel rejuvenated after resting or having a peaceful night’s sleep. It’s just what you need to recharge your brain and energize your body for another hectic day. However, there often remains chronic exhaustion that no amount of sleep can ease.

If you spend most of your days in weary brain fog, your exhaustion may be more than physical. Many people describe it as a spiritual and mental drain that seems unending. Even arising from several hours of sound sleep, you may feel just as tired as when you went to bed.

After ruling out any physical causes, your debilitating fatigue may be spiritual. Since the spirit doesn’t sleep, no amount of rest brings relief. The treatment for a weary soul is to be still and experience honest introspection, which can be accomplished through mediation.

What changes do you need to consider in your life? If you’ve inevitable situations, how can you change your attitude to better cope with them? During the nights of spiritual fatigue, the Universe offers your soul rest and a feeling of inexplicable peace.

8. You Suddenly Need More Validation

Validation from others is a basic human need. Doesn’t it warm your heart when your circle of family and friends take your thoughts and feelings seriously? It reminds you that you matter as a person and your opinions count.

When you lack validation in your life, you may feel frustrated and unappreciated. Even though you’re paid to work, you still crave validation from your employers. It would help if you also had confirmation from your significant other, family, and friends.

Are you longing for more validation? Perhaps the people in your circle are unintentionally taking you for granted. Please take this as a hint from the Universe that it’s time to spend some alone time and formulate a plan for speaking up for yourself.

Final Thoughts Knowing When It Is Time to Be Still

You’ll never fully walk into your destiny until you learn to listen and trust the Universe. It loved you before you were born and is ready to highlight the right paths. As you learn to embrace silent knowing, you start to realize your best life.

11 Red Flags Reveal a Defensive Person (and how to deal with them)

August 31, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

Each person is hardwired with a survival instinct to protect themselves. Sadly, some folks tend to have defensive behaviors that are in overdrive. Do you walk on eggshells around your partner because they’re always on guard and in defense mode?

Keeping your brain in a state of defense puts you on the offense, which means communication is challenging. Plus, these behaviors can be very harmful to the relationship.

Eleven Red Flags That Unmask a Defensive Person

The self-protecting impulse is normal, but why do some people tend to be more hyperactive with it than others? If you’re dating someone suffering from defensiveness, you need to learn how to help them dismantle it.

If you want to connect healthily, you need to be free to communicate and explore one another. Here are eleven red flags that indicate a defensive person.

1. A Defensive Person Wears Their Emotions on Their Sleeves

Someone who is overly defensive has their mind programmed to be in an overprotective mentality. Sadly, in many instances, the situation doesn’t warrant their response. These folks walk around with their figurative shields up and weapons drawn, but there isn’t a battle.

They become so upset over the smallest of things, and you may shut down and stop talking so that you don’t offend them any further. To handle this situation, you need to confront them about their overly sensitive nature. When communicating, make sure you talk through things and don’t leave anything up for interpretation.

2. Refuses to Acknowledge Their Behaviors

Jesse was an eight-year-old foster child adopted into a loving home. As a defense mechanism, he learned that lying would get him out of trouble. Over the years, he would never acknowledge his behaviors as he didn’t want anyone to think ill of him.

However, his actions were laughable in adolescence, but the lies became more damaging as he grew. He would lie about anything and everything. He went through three wives and is estranged from his four children because he was always innocent and never acknowledged his behavior.

When you’re fighting a defensive person who has a troubled past, it’s something you cannot do alone. This person needs counseling to help rewire their brain. These habits don’t die easily, and they can make your life miserable.

3. The Defensive Person Has an Exaggerated Startle Response

There is a reaction for every action, and this reaction is a combination of things like your self-esteem, temperament, and history. It would help if you remembered these facts when confronting your partner about anything. If they jump when you walk into a room, it’s clear they’re on edge.

According to the National Library of Medicine, having an exaggerated startle reflex is a big issue, and you often see this with people who have post-traumatic stress disorder. This is something that they need to work through in counseling, and you must learn how to approach them to try not to trigger the already overstimulated response.

4. Is Overly Defensive to Normal Disruptions

All relationships go through hard times, and everyone suffers from a breakdown of communication on occasion. For instance, you may ask your partner to pick up a dozen eggs on the way home from work, but they heard that you wanted milk instead. Rather than laughing off the simple mistake, they become irate and want to prove that you were the one in the wrong.

Okay, so they made their point that you were wrong. How do you handle the person who refuses to accept any responsibility, and is it worth arguing about? Is it worth an evening of arguing because you got milk instead of eggs? Letting go is the best thing you can do, but they need to work on that defensive attitude because it will get them into a lot of trouble.

5. Can’t Take Any Criticism

Being free to express anger and complaints is part of what makes a relationship work. However, what if your partner can’t take any criticism? Sitting calmly and quietly while you tell them about their faults is torture to the defensive person.

To handle this situation, you must learn to change your approach. First, you must learn to quiet the inner lawyer’s constant stream of banter that you’ve prepared. Second, you must ask yourself how you would want to be approached about the matter. The key is to get your point across without them taking their defensive nature into overdrive.

6. A Defensive Person Carries Excessive Baggage From Their Childhood

Their childhood is a big indication of why you’re dealing with the issues of the defensive person. In many instances, they’ve been neglected, abused, or experienced trauma. The key is to get them to process the things that happened to them in the past, or they will never be able to move on and have a healthy future.

7. Their Protection Mode Overrides the Connection

Each human has both wirings for connection and protection within their brain. Once the honeymoon is over in a relationship, you learn to make a sustainable connection. However, with this person, their defensive nature overrides the connection you’ve developed.

As a natural defense, you want to protect yourself from their insinuations and accusations. To fix this issue, you must tap into your coexistent desire to connect. Try to remember the first stage of “puppy love” you experienced when you met and remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.

8. Smolders With Resentment

Does your partner tend to sweep issues under the rug rather than deal with them? While that’s a great short-term fix, it’s not going to help you in the long run. How can a wound heal if it’s always covered up?

A relationship with lots of pent-up anger will begin to smolder. The key in this situation is to handle the issue first and try not to bury things.

9. Engages in the “Conflict Cycle.”

An ideal conflict occurs when someone protests something, and then you work on a repair solution. However, when someone is stuck in a conflict cycle, they want to do things like:

Connect
Explode
Walkout
Fix
Reconnect

They add unnecessary steps into a dispute that make conflict resolution challenging. How can you build the resiliency of the relationship if you can’t resolve anything? The key to dealing with this situation and the defensive person is to never punish or shame them for how they feel or act.

Instead, you want to show them a better way to resolve issues. Let them know they’re safe, to be honest, and acknowledge how they feel. Take the reason for the defensive nature away and allow them to experience freedom.

10. The Defensive Person Withdraws and Disconnects Often

If your partner feels you’re a threat to them, they will naturally withdrawal to protect themselves. Sadly, this will only create more trouble for your relationship. Their vulnerability comes from being hurt by someone they loved before.

Don’t let them isolate themselves over something silly. Instead, find a way to communicate and work through these feelings. They may be apprehensive and feel you’re going to hurt them initially. Thankfully, once you do it a few times and put them at ease, they will realize you have their best interests at heart.

11. Never Gives the Benefit of the Doubt

If your partner is late coming home from work, you should be able to express that you’re upset because dinner is cold. They should have called you rather than leaving it up in the air. You give your partner the benefit of the doubt because you know they were caught in traffic or late at the office.

However, if the roles are reversed, they would be suspicious of you and fuming mad. When they blow up at you and act furious over a simple misunderstanding, then you need to ask them questions like:

“How can I handle this situation better next time?”
“What do you think is a viable solution?”

By asking questions on how to fix it, you lessen their defenses and input how to handle things.

Final Thoughts on Identifying a Defensive Person

Everybody has a defense system that helps protect them in life. For some folks, their system is in overdrive, which makes them overly defensive person. While you love them and want to be with them, there is much work to do to make a situation like this work.

In most cases, an overly defensive individual is someone who’s gone through some challenging things in life. According to Psychology Today’s David Woodsfellow Ph.D., it’s one of four issues that lead to divorce. The next time there’s a concern that needs to be discussed, try starting soft with them.

Please don’t come in yelling and raising the roof, blowing them out of the water. Remember that a kind word can turn away wrath. It doesn’t mean that these issues should be pushed under the rug; quite the contrary.

You must adjust your approach to them so that you can try to avoid triggering their defensive system any more than it already is. Lastly, you need counseling as a couple and individually to deal with all these matters if you want to make your relationship work.

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