A cheating partner makes relationships challenging, especially when they’ve had more than one affair.
What constitutes cheating differs for each couple, as some consider a telephone relationship emotional infidelity. Each couple must set boundaries within their relationship so that each partner clearly understands expectations and boundaries.
However, some people are born to cheat and have an innate ability to find some way to justify their actions. If you say you will never keep a cheating partner, you might want to think long and hard about that statement. You never know what you might do when you’re in that situation, and the matter is compounded when you have a family with this person.
Sadly, cheating is widespread. In fact, according to Marriage and Infidelity Statistics, the number one cause of divorce is cheating. The real shocker is how many people engage in such an activity. The same study shows that 50-60 percent of couples overcome cheating, but many will divorce immediately.
If you take someone back who steps out of the confines of your marriage, are you sending a message that you will forgive them time and again? Many people become serial cheaters, and not just men fall into this category. The same study found that many women fall into the arms of another lover.
A Tale of a Woman Scorned
She stayed with him because she was afraid, as she didn’t have the resources to support herself or their child. She told him numerous times they were through if he ever cheated again, but she never followed through with her veiled threats. However, each time she allowed him back into the marriage, it subconsciously said that his actions were okay.
They stayed together, but remained miserable for twenty years until Kayla had enough. Once their child was raised, she left and found someone faithful to her. However, she had major trust issues to work through as she’s been cheated one too many times.
Ten Classic Behaviors of a Cheating Partner
So, before you get involved with someone with a horrible history of failed relationships from cheating, and before you get your heart broken repeatedly, you need to know what to look for in a mate. Perhaps, you suspect your spouse of cheating but have no actual proof. Here are ten everyday things a cheating partner does without even realizing it.
1. A Cheating Partner Will Lie to You
Cheaters must cover their tracks at all costs, especially if they have a lot of money or children with them. So, they will do whatever it takes to ensure you don’t find out about their affairs. Their stories are so convincible that you believe them without hesitation.
The most told story is that they’re working late at the office or out of town on business. If time away from home seems to be becoming a habit, you may do some investigative work.
2. Things Change Romantically When One Person is a Cheater
When someone cheats, they will either want nothing to do with you romantically or be all over you. The difference comes down to someone’s personality style and how much guilt they feel. When one person has physical needs met by another person, they may push you away altogether.
However, they may want to be with you even more when they feel guilty for their actions. The other person may be trying new things with them, and they can’t get enough. If you notice a drastic change in the bedroom, it’s a sign that something probably isn’t right with them.
3. A Cheating Partner Hides Their Phone
Every cheater hides their phone or has a burner phone with a different number you don’t know about. They don’t want you to see who they’re calling or the text messages they’re sending back and forth. The good news is that with technology, it’s easy to get online and see a copy of who they’re calling or texting with most phone companies.
4. Cheating Partners Change Passwords or Create New Social Media Accounts
Imagine the shock and horror when Pam, a wife of 26 years, found a picture of her husband Shane on social media under the name George. No, he wasn’t hacked, but he formed a new identity to meet women without his wife knowing.
Social media is a great platform to meet people worldwide and is easy to track. Folks that cheat often use these platforms to help them keep things undercover.
5. Cheaters Seek People Who Feed Their Ego
One reason why so many people cheat is that they’re not getting what they need at home. Most folks automatically assume it’s physical needs, but many people crave their emotional desires met too. Sometimes it’s the ego that wants stroking a bit, and cheaters seek out those who make them feel superior and take away all poor self-esteem issues.
While the cheating partner may lie to you, you’re not the only one they’re dishonest with. They will manipulate the situation in their minds so that they feel like they’re not doing anything wrong. For instance, if you’re not giving them the romance they desire, they feel justified in seeking this attention outside your marriage.
7. Cheating Partners Invent Colorful Stories To Excuse Their Choices
The cheating partner will create narratives about themselves to make sense of their life and the world around them. Sadly, these narratives are what they use to excuse their choices. In their mind, they make it out as if they had no option in the first place.
Some folks will try their best to remain faithful to their spouse, but they will finally succumb to the passion as they feel the affair was “meant to be.”
8. Cheaters Avoid Arguments or Challenges
One of the main things cheaters do is avoid arguments and conflict. When something is wrong in their relationship, they would rather brush it under the rug than deal with the issues. They try to tell themselves that things are fine but know things are far from good with their partner.
It’s not uncommon for a cheating partner to have an intentional affair. They’re looking for a way out; the answer is having a “backup” plan with another person. They know you’ll be upset, and it might be just what you need to leave them.
9. Cheaters Blame Others for Their Actions
You may get the blame for the whole situation. Remember, there are always two sides to every story. However, when dealing with a cheater, all bets are off.
This person may feel you or the Universe is out to get them. They can create this dramatic narrative in their mind that paints you as the bad guy. Watch out though, some of these behaviors are very selfish.
According to A Conscious Rethink, many narcissists are skilled liars and manipulators. They know how to spin this whole situation around in their mind that puts you at fault. While not every person with Narcissist Personality Disorder is a cheater, they certainly have a higher probability of poor relationships.
10. A Cheating Partner Refuses to Take Responsibility
Breaking hearts and betraying trust is not easy to get over, but the cheating partner often feels little guilt for their actions. Lying through their teeth becomes effortless, so they will never see the situation as anything more than your fault.
They will lie to you, about you, and to themselves. Down deep, they know they’re doing something wrong, but they will justify it by making you the fall guy. No matter what happens, they will not take any responsibility for the aftermath.
Cheating is so commonplace these days that many people chalk it up to one of the facts of marriage. However, people with real commitments still feel this is the ultimate sin. Whether the affair was emotional or physical, it still crosses a line.
It’s unbearable when people look to others rather than their spouses. Shockingly, men often receive the dubious title cheater, but women are just as guilty. Women tend to get tied up in the emotional aspects of another lover, while men tend to be more about the physical elements.
If you suspect your partner is cheating, you should look for proof. If you find any signs listed above, then it’s time to confront them about their choices. Usually, if your spouse is cheating, you don’t have to look too hard to find the answers to all your questions.