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8 Reasons Why Overthinking Causes Emotional Distress

March 16, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Have you seen images of Auguste Rodin’s The Thinker? This iconic statue seems lost in his contemplation. Is he brainstorming or enduring the emotional distress of overthinking everything?

Maybe you can relate to this stressful habit that affects countless people. Simply put, overthinking is worrying. It’s needless to stress whether it is a life-altering decision or choosing what to wear to a party.

Eleven Key Signs That You May Be an Overthinker

Are you just highly cautious, or do you overthink too much? It’s normal to stress a little over decisions, but not until it affects your daily activities. Here are some common signs of worrying and overthinking:

You are always wondering “what if” and “if only”
You replay embarrassing or painful moments in your mind.
You’re constantly second-guessing the actions and comments of others.
You constantly relive mistakes from the past.
You replay conversations and rewrite them how you wish they would have been.
You’re lacking sleep well because of your brain’s constant chatter.
You replay hurtful words and actions from other people.
You can’t enjoy the present because you constantly fret about the past and future.
You’ll often focus on circumstances you can’t control.
You tend to be a “worrywart.”
You can’t get your mind off your worries.

The underlying reason that most people overthink is the desire to control. An article published by Changing Minds says that humans need a sense of control. You can feel insecure and threatened without it, as stated in the report.

Why Overthinking Causes Emotional Distress?

While you may have a sense of control, things in your life are beyond your command and stressful. Overthinking might seem to help manage the situation, but it’s only an illusion. These are eight reasons why overthinking and worrying can cause you emotional distress.

1. You Feel Emotional Distress When You Can’t Control Everything

No matter how hard you try and how much you overthink, you can’t control everything. There are people and situations in your life that you can’t change, and you must comprehend the things you’re powerless over. However, overthinkers often bypass reality by managing everything in their lives.

Such needless thinking can cause emotional distress and make your situation worse. For example, will you ever change a coworker’s negative attitude by worrying about it? Or how can worrying help a family member who is bent on self-destruction and refuses any assistance?

2. It May Boost Your Insecurities

The more you stress and overthink situations, the less self-confident you feel. Ruminating about the past often increases the volume of your negative inner voice. You constantly run the scenarios through your brain like a never-ending video loop.

Unfortunately, no amount of re-thinking these instances will change anything. Then, you may feel pessimistic about the future and think that you’ll fail at everything. This emotional distress may become a pattern that leads to a lack of self-confidence and self-respect.

3. It Minimizes Your Positive Energy

Thinking is your brain’s process of forming opinions and beliefs, whether positive or negative. When you think about something too much, you may minimize your positive energy. You need positive affirmations if you expect to attract positive outcomes from the Universe.

According to the law of attraction, you attract whatever energy you send out. Positive affirmations attract positive energy, and negative ones attract more of the same. Maybe you can experience a turn-around in your life if you stop joining the crowd of overthinkers.

4. You Foster Emotional Distress If You Focus on Problems Instead of Solutions

Of course, you must define or admit there’s a problem before you can solve it. However, overthinking the issues may prevent you from finding appropriate solutions. Sometimes, you can be inspired by a solution when you’re not even worrying about the problem.

5. You May Lose Your Sense of Gratitude

Have you ever heard the old saying about the good outweighing the bad? No matter what unfavorable circumstances you face, you still have positive ones. Overthinking emphasizes the negative, and you may lose sight of your many blessings.

Plus, the emotional distress it creates may cause ingratitude. All you can ponder are your problems, and you can’t be thankful for anything. It’s a downward spiral that can lead to anxiety, depression, and dark pessimism.

6. Emotional Distress Continues When You Perpetuate the Cycle of “What if” and “If only”

Until someone invents the working time machine, you can’t go back in time to fix a mistake. No matter how you meditate, wish, and beg, it’s not going to happen. How many times have you started a sentence with “what if” and “if only?”

The desire to change the past is a normal human response. What if your ex-partner had been faithful? If only you had been wise about your spending, you wouldn’t be in financial trouble.

Do statements like this sound familiar? Not only are “what if” and “if only” messages unhelpful, but they set negative precedence. You’re too preoccupied with the past to live in the present.

7. Overthinking Can Affect Your Mental Health

Have you ever felt secure and joyful when you’re overthinking things? Instead, the emotional distress probably makes you feel sad and hopeless. An article published by PsychAlive explains that overthinking may lead to the most common mental illnesses.

Constantly questioning yourself not only erodes your confidence but can lead to anxiety. You’re always worried that you’re making the wrong decision, no matter how sensible it is. Chronic stress and anxiety can contribute to physical problems like heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, and stroke.

8. It Can Limit Your Creativity

Listening to your inner voice is part of your imagination and creativity. However, using it negatively can hinder them. Creativity often requires spontaneity and being confident with your choices.

Think of all the masterpieces of art, literature, and music that have graced the world since the beginning. What if these gifted creators would have overthought their work and tossed it? There would be a lonely void left across the globe.

How to Overcome Overthinking and Emotional Distress Triggers

Don’t let it become another issue if you see much of yourself in these scenarios. You don’t want to identify the problem and become worried about overthinking. There are positive ways you can overcome your thinking addiction and be more assured of yourself.

1. Divide Your Worries

Consider making a list of the current problems that give you emotional distress. Write whatever comes to mind, whether you think it’s essential or not. Now, take another sheet of paper, make two columns: Solvable and Unsolvable, and categorize your worries.

Solvable worries are situations where you can identify cause and effect and figure out viable solutions. Unsolvable worries aren’t so concrete and have components beyond your control. Focus on things you can change instead of things you can’t.

2. Schedule Time to Worry

It may seem silly at first, but it’ll make more sense as you get used to doing it. Instead of allowing overthinking to monopolize your time, make a daily schedule for it. It’s a lot easier than trying to thwart the habit all at once.

Schedule twenty or thirty minutes each day to sit, close your eyes, and worry. Give yourself permission to fret and worry about anything, everything, and anyone. Write it on a worry list as you give attention to each worry.

When your timer buzzes, you’re finished with overthinking. For the rest of the day, resolve to be worry-free and not second-guess yourself. If a rogue worry slips into your mind, write it down as a worry for your next session.

Reflect over your list during each scheduled session and see how you feel about it presently. These sessions may give you different perspectives and help you find solutions. Some may discover that some of your worries are out of your control.

3. Meditation Decreases Emotional Distress

One of the best ways to bring yourself into the present is to meditate. Dedicate a quiet place in your home to meditate for 15 to 30 minutes daily. It can be a spare room or even a cozy little corner in your bedroom.

Wherever you create your sacred space, it should be a space of beauty, calm, and solitude. You are mindful of each breath as your body relaxes at the moment. As you focus on breathing, be aware of your thoughts and allow them to dissipate like vapors.

Feel free to adorn your sacred space with colors and items that make you smile and are emotionally significant. Light candles and your favorite incense to encourage you to relax. However, you can sit or lie down in the space where you feel the most comfortable.

Meditation gives your mind a break from chronic overthinking. If your mind wanders, gently acknowledge it and bring yourself back into focus. This ancient practice teaches you the joy of being present.

Final Thoughts on the Emotional Distress That Results from Overthinking

There’s a difference between making informed decisions and overthinking everything. Once you’ve identified that overthinking is a problem, you can take positive steps to overcome it.

You’ll have freedom from emotional distress and more energy to live in the present. It’s time to stop ruminating and start living life to the fullest.

9 Signs Someone Has Outgrown Their Surroundings

March 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

Specific characteristics separate the realms of the living versus non-living. Perhaps the most fundamental of differences is the need and ability to grow. Feeling frustrated when you’ve outgrown your current life is normal.

You grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as a human. The physical aspect usually stops by age 21, but you’ll continue to grow in the other elements for life. They are often the most difficult changes to recognize.

Nine Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Surroundings by Personal Growth

Has your inner voice told you that change is in the air? Personal growth can include expanding your knowledge, skills, and ways of life. Here are nine signs to recognize when someone’s outgrown their surroundings and what to do next.

1. Everyone in Your Circle is Changing if You Have Outgrown Your Surroundings

Some things that bring people together are things they have in common. Many friends in your circle probably are around the same age and place in life. You may have common goals like raising your family and flourishing in a career.

Have you noticed any life changes within your circle? Maybe they are expanding their goals and moving in different directions than you. It doesn’t mean you’re no longer essential to them, but you’ve outgrown your surroundings.

Suggestion:

How are your friends’ lives changing, and where are your places? Maybe you’ll be happier in your circle if you make some life changes. Friendships can evolve over a lifetime.

2. You Can No Longer Relate to Your Friendship Circle

How can you be sure you’ve outgrown your friendship circle and surroundings? Pay attention to the conversation the next time you’re out with close friends. Are you chatting effortlessly from subject to subject, or do you quickly run out of things to discuss?

That period of awkward silence may be your clue that you have a few things in common. Either you are still in their place in life, or you’re searching for something more. For example, you may no longer fit in the single crowd if you’ve decided to settle down in a committed relationship.

Suggestion:

Perhaps the changes you want to make don’t mesh with your friends and vice versa. You can outgrow friendships, which doesn’t mean you hate each other. It’s okay to go your way and let them go theirs amicably.

3. When You Have Outgrown Your Surroundings, Your Interests Will Change

An article published by NPR states that your personality changes throughout your lifetime, usually for the better. While you retain most of your personality traits, they will mature and change with you, says the article.

As your personality changes over time, it stands to reason that you’ll develop different interests. You may have been a die-hard football fan for years and eventually get a taste for basketball. Or you may do the complete opposite and become an avid reader.

Outgrowing your interests doesn’t always mean you kick them all aside. You may combine new hobbies with old ones or develop new ones. It’s all about your life-long maturity and constantly evolving interests.

Suggestion:

The best time to discover new interests and skills is in the present. Listen to your inner voice and try whatever interests you. Learn a foreign language, take up painting, or do anything exciting that speaks to you.

4. You Don’t Feel Satisfied in Life Anymore

Think of your life as the seasons of the year. Your needs and wants change as you transition from one life stage to another. As a young adult, what was fulfilling may not be satisfying in middle age.

These restless feelings are the Universe’s gentle clue that you’ve outgrown your surroundings. At some point, your goals need to advance with your maturity. You may need to set new aspirations to get out of a rut.

Suggestion:

Think of your life as a body of water that needs to move. Water that stays pooled and never moves becomes stagnant, and nothing can live in it. Never settle for a boring life with nothing that makes you strive to improve.

5. You’ve Planned New Goals to Reach

At what stage have you “made it” and can sit back in a rocking chair and stop dreaming? No matter how old or what you’ve accomplished, you never quit dreaming and setting higher goals. Of course, many of your new goals may be mental and spiritual accomplishments.

When you’re spending more time daydreaming about stepping out of your comfort zone, it’s time to do it. You’ve outgrown your surroundings, and your past goals no longer satisfy you. Yearning for different scenery and experiences is your call to action.

Suggestion:

Creating a dream board is an excellent way of defining your goals and reminding you each day. Design it however you want with pictures, inspirational sayings, and ideas. Use it as a plan to bring the changes you need in your life.

6. You’re Just Bored When You Have Outgrown Your Space

Boredom is the enemy of a creative mind. Your brain craves a challenge and isn’t content with the status quo. In his article published by Psychology Today, Dr. Shahram Heshmat discusses the psychology of boredom. At least 30 to 60 percent of adults in America experience it at some point in their daily lives, says Heshmat.

It’s marked by your lack of interest and motivation in something. Maybe it’s something you’ve done for so long that you’ve outgrown it. The best remedy for boredom is discovering something new and exciting for your life.

Suggestion:

If you’re bored with daily living, you’re not working up to your potential. What are some ways you can challenge your brain and do something new? Boredom often masks the fear of walking into the unknown.

7. You Constantly Dream of Another Life

Your dreams can be a glimpse into how you feel about your life. If you’re content, your nightly visions will probably revolve around aspects of your current situation. However, human satisfaction is never static; you’ll soon dream of brighter shores.

Let’s say you’ve worked at the same job for several years and feel like there’s something more. You start binge-watching travel shows where people start a new life in a foreign country. Soon, you look beyond your hectic city life to a tranquil setting in the country or on a beach.

You may be dreaming of reinventing yourself with a new career path you’ve always wanted. The only thing holding you back is the fear of making a mistake. Since you’re outgrowing your environment, the biggest mistake is not taking a chance.

Suggestion:

What’s holding you back from living the dream you’ve always wanted? Create a plan including your goals, time frame, and what you must accomplish first. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be where you long to be.

8. You Feel a Void that You Try to Fill

Aristotle once famously stated that nature detests empty spaces. When there’s a space in the physical or spiritual world, it must be filled. A tell-tale sign that you’ve overgrown your surroundings is a void in your soul.

Many people don’t recognize this void as a sign of stagnation. Your entire being wants to grow, but some aspect is missing. Unfortunately, they often plug this space into unhealthy habits and substance addiction.

However, you may understand that this emptiness is your sign of needing changes. It could be your job, your relationship, or even your home. Being honest with yourself and defining your goals will seal the gap with contentment.

Suggestion:

You’ll never fill that void in your heart until you follow your dreams. What is missing from your life? Don’t use substance abuse to keep from making necessary changes.

9. You Feel Envious of Other People’s Lives and Accomplishments

While you may not be a jealous person in general, it’s a natural emotion. Smiling and congratulating a coworker who got your desired promotion isn’t easy. As you park your jalopy next to your in-law’s sports car, the old green-eyed monster may appear.

However, the feelings can go more profound when you envy other people’s lives. It can happen even if you have the most and most successful. What’s probably behind your jealousy is wanting the joy and satisfaction you see them have.

Outgrowing your environment is also a common impetus of envy, significantly beyond materialism. Do you want the peace and contentment others in your circle have? Maybe it’s time to think about opportunities to learn, grow, and expand your life experiences.

Suggestion:

Jealousy is only a helpful emotion if you use it constructively. Instead of envying your friends’ lives, do something exciting with your own life. Remember that there’s more to life than materialism.

Final Thoughts on the Understanding That You Have Outgrown Your Surroundings

Growth means you must adjust and alter something; not everyone is comfortable with change. The Universe will give you subtle clues when it’s time to move farther and higher. Challenging yourself with new goals can keep your life exciting as you realize your potential daily.

7 Things That Prove Love Is a Choice, Not Just an Emotion

March 15, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Is loving someone a choice or an emotion? It’s fundamental to the human condition yet challenging to explain. Throughout the ages, mystics, philosophers, and religious leaders have discussed it at length, but there’s still much debate.

It’s one of those subjects that has two distinct sides. Many people believe that it’s worth the risk of getting heartbroken to fall head over heels for someone. The main question is, do you form relationships out of feelings, or is it a moral choice?

Ten Characteristics of Love

The first book of Corinthians in the Bible devotes an entire chapter to describing this feeling, also called charity. These characteristics remain an excellent guide stone. Here are the things that this classic chapter in this book explains: what love is and isn’t.

Patient
Shows kindness
Doesn’t envy others
Isn’t haughty and doesn’t brag
Isn’t rude or selfish
Isn’t easily angered
It doesn’t “keep score.”
Doesn’t rejoice at others’ mistakes
Protective and trustful
It goes the extra mile

The Bible even further suggests that God is the personification of love. Examples in other religious traditions and sacred texts are abundant. It’s also described in countless secular literature throughout the ages.

Seven Reasons Why Love Is A Choice

Your loving spirit is a beautiful gift that you give to your mate, family, and close friends. It’s a singular kindness and empathy that goes beyond human emotion. Here are five reasons that make it a choice.

1. Love Is a Commitment

Loving someone is a decision you make to be faithful to their heart. It’s not to be confused with infatuation. It’s physical when you meet a person and are attracted to them. As you both cultivate a relationship, you are committed and choose to be loving partners.

Let’s say you’re in a committed relationship, and you see an attractive person across the room. You can’t help the emotion of finding this person attractive. However, you choose not to act on the thought because of your loving commitment to your mate.

A wise person once observed that you couldn’t stop the birds from flying over your head, but you don’t have to let them nest in your hair. In other words, you have control over your emotions and can’t always blame somebody else.

2. It Remains Even in Bad Circumstances

If you’re in a romantic relationship, you can verify that it’s not always champagne and roses. There’ll be times when you’re so angry at each other that you want to walk away forever. Grief, loss, frustration, and dark seasons of the soul are inevitable, but you’re still together.

Whether married or in a committed relationship, you’re together through the blessings and the woes. Your heart is steadfast regardless of whether you’re wealthy, poor, sick, or healthy. If you cherish your significant other only by emotion, it will diminish when the going gets rough.

3. You Pick Who Stays in Your Circle

There’s an old saying that you can’t pick your family but can select your friends. Unless you believe in predestination and reincarnation, you weren’t consulted about the family in which you were born. Maybe you often wish you were born into fabulous wealth.

Yes, you choose your friends by the things you have in common. You can also decide that you’ve outgrown the friendship and part ways. Loving your friends is totally up to you.

However, the adage is only accurate to a point. Just because you’re related to people doesn’t mean you have a loving bond. Your DNA may have randomly put you together, but you decide whether they stay in your circle later in life.

4. Love Is Often Altruistic

Consider the various emotions that you can share with another person. According to an article published by the University of California-Berkeley, researchers have identified at least 27 human emotions. According to the report, these feelings often overlap and don’t have distinct borders.

When your body and mind react to something or someone, it’s not a choice. You don’t decide to feel angry when a thoughtless motorist cuts you off in traffic. If you lose a friend or relative, you don’t ponder whether you’ll feel anguished.

It’s a choice because you often decide to put others first. You volunteer to help people in your community because you want to do it. You and your mate compromise and sacrifice for one another because you’re committed to the relationship.

5. It Knows How to Forgive

Forgiving a person is just as much a choice as loving them is. It is not a compelling emotion like empathy; you offer it with your own free will. It’s an unmerited favor that benefits you just as much as the offender.

You automatically feel hurt, betrayed, and defensive when someone says or does something to offend you. These are emotions that you don’t choose. However, you can decide to forgive and not be bitter, and that’s a loving choice.

You, your mate, and those in your circle will offend and forgive countless times in your life. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you excuse or forget the offense. You’re thoughtful and choose to acknowledge the insult, forgive, and move on with your life.

6. Love Designates Boundaries

Setting boundaries is another choice you make when loving others. You and your partner cherish each other, but you set healthy boundaries. These rules define how you expect them to treat you, and vice versa.

You choose what you’re willing to do or not do for that person. For example, you may decide not to live in the same city as your extended family. You still have loving connections, but the distance is better for all of you.

You may adore your children more than anything in this world, but they know how far to push you. Establishing boundaries also allows you to cherish yourself. Loving folks doesn’t mean you’re a welcome mat to be trampled.

7. It Looks for the Good in Everything

The late Will Rogers, an American humorist, once observed that he had never met someone he didn’t like. Of course, Rogers wasn’t saying that people didn’t have faults and other disagreeable habits. He had learned to see the good in everyone despite the bad.

It doesn’t make you so naive that you think they are perfect when you love others. You empathize with their imperfections and adore them anyway. When there are difficulties in your relationships, you choose to be positive and find the blessings.

Four Reasons Why Love Is Also an Emotion

As if the discussion couldn’t be any more confusing, there are compelling reasons why it’s also an emotion. It has choice characteristics, but it still appeals to your thoughtful nature, as well as your senses and feelings. Here are four reasons why it’s an emotion.

1. You Can’t Explain Love

No matter how many books or scriptures you read, you’ll still never have a complete definition of love. However, it’s easier to explain the reasons why you made a choice. You cannot describe loving someone because you “do.”

You may be attracted at the beginning of a relationship and not even know why. As the relationship evolves, you’ll be more able to identify the attributes that won your heart. Even then, it’s a feeling that exists without cause and explanation.

2. You Say that You Fall in Love

Loving your significant other is a process that starts with attraction. It was a matter of the heart, and you felt drawn to this person. This infatuation is an emotion because you didn’t choose to have it.

An article published by Good Therapy states three stages in a loving relationship. According to the report, they say love comes in the following stages:

Stage 1: Romantic
Stage 2: Power struggle
Stage 3: Mature love

The first stage is emotional and works through to the adult stage, which is a choice. Perhaps you’ve experienced what many people call “falling out of love,” which is a decision they make. However, the initial “fall” was an emotional experience.

3. It’s Constantly Evolving

You don’t choose your loving relationship to evolve because it does it naturally. For example, you may be best friends with someone, and your friendship develops into a romantic relationship. Even couples who have been together for a while discover a more profound connection over the years.

4. It’s a Strong Urge

Some of your life’s decisions may be more important than others, but they aren’t as compelling as an emotion. While you can’t explain loving someone, your heart and soul urge you to do it. Sometimes, you may stay in a rocky relationship because your emotions keep the attachment.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Why Love Is Both a Choice and an Emotion

Loving people in your life is both an emotion and a choice. The sentiment may be the motivation of the relationship, but you choose to evolve with it. As an emotion, it surpasses them all, and as a choice, it’s the best you’ll ever make.

11 Signs the One You’re With Is the One You’ll Stay With

March 15, 2022 by Chris Butler

You may know a couple who seem so perfect for one another. They must have seen something in their relationship that confirmed they should always be together. If you asked them, it might surprise you to learn good looks or a “spark” wasn’t what clued them into the fact they were suitable for one another. They would say that what clued them into knowing they were with “the one” was something much deeper and more reliable.

Eleven Signs Your Partner is The One for You

These are the ten signs these couples would say can show you that you’re with the one you’ll stay with long term.

1 – Respect for one another

Without respect, a relationship won’t last long. Respect is not just admiring the other person but showing regard for their wishes, feelings, and their rights in the relationship. When you respect someone, you value their thoughts and opinions. You’re saying, “you’re the one for me.” A healthy relationship includes respectful initiatives, such as:

Listening to each other: Listening means you look at your significant other when they talk to you. You allow them to finish their sentences instead of interrupting them. They feel you care about what they say and how they think. Listening shows them you respect them, which is a sign you two are definitely on the right road for a successful relationship.
Accept advice: If your person takes your advice, this is a sign they respect you. They value your thoughts enough to take them to heart when they decide. Couples who can give one another’s advice show humility.
Kind words: Respect means you refuse to resort to mockery or name-calling, even during an argument. You choose kind words over rude ones. It takes self-control to explain your frustration during a fight. But if you respect one another, you make the extra effort it takes to be kind rather than rude.

2. Laugh together

Laughter is a powerful bond to a strong relationship. Couples laughing together helps them feel more positive about one another. They feel more in love with one another. Here are things you can do to add some laughs to your relationship. Whether you watch a funny movie, tease one another, or go out on a fun date to an amusement park or comedy show. Your ability to laugh together is significant and worth cultivating together.

Besides being a good bond with your relationship, laughter is also good for your health. When you and your significant other laugh together, you’re helping one another stay healthier. Laughter affects your body in many ways, including the following:

Lower your stress
It helps your heart health stay healthy by improving circulation
Boosts your immune system
Lowers your blood pressure

3. Encourage one another

Words of encouragement go a long way in helping your relationship. Encouragement is affirming the other person’s worth. It’s saying things like these words:

You are special to me.
I’m crazy about you
I couldn’t have done this without you.
I love you!
I’m so grateful to you.
You are all I have ever wanted in a partner.

When your partner tells you these things, you feel motivated to make the relationship work. You see the sparkle in their eyes when they look at you, and it makes you fall in love with them all over again.

4. Don’t always feel “in love”

Contrary to what you’ve heard, being in a relationship doesn’t mean constantly feeling “in love” with the person. Sometimes you feel mad at your significant other for what they said or did. That’s okay. All relationships have their ups and downs. Love means commitment and keeping your promises. It’s more than a feeling. Instead, it’s an emotional connection to the other person and being the best companion you can be to them. Love is an action more than a feeling. If you notice this in your relationship, there is a good chance you with the one you’ll stay with long term.

5. Vulnerable to one another

Being vulnerable means, you’re willing to take emotional risks. You let down your guard to talk about your weaknesses, fears, and disappointments in life. It takes courage to express your emotions with your partner. Vulnerability is essential for the health of your relationship. It gives your relationship more meaning and depth. When you’re both vulnerable, it allows both of you a sense of security and feelings of love. It’s a sure sign you are with the right person. If you’re not experiencing this, you need to see this as a big red flag.

6. Make one another a priority

People who are in love make time for one another. They want to be together. Making your partner a priority speaks volumes to them. Your actions tell them they are your most significant relationship. It’s a clear sign of someone’s commitment to you if they regularly carve out time with you. If this isn’t happening, it could be a sign that something is broken in your relationship, so speak up and find out what’s going on.

7. Resist blameshifting

Happy, strong couples resist the urge to blame one another when they’re upset.

It’s easy to slip into blaming, especially when you’re angry. Usually, several things contribute to your angry feelings. Maybe you had a hard day at work, then when your partner says something that pushes you over the edge. It’s easy to see them as the problem when it was the culmination of it all. In a strong relationship, a couple can sit down and unravel what is going on instead of lashing out at one another.

8. Have trust

Trust is a massive component of a relationship. The best way to earn your partner’s trust is to live your life consistently. Let your actions speak louder than what you say. Earn your partner’s trust by refusing to do these things, including these:

Lying to them
Breaking your word to them
Not keeping your promises
Not being there for them emotionally or physically
Not flirting with others

Show your partner you are trustworthy. It will help your relationship grow strong.

9. Create unique rituals

If you find your relationship is a slump, try creating simple rituals to make it more unique. Things like breakfast in bed together or weekend walks around a lake are simple ways to start small but significant rituals as a couple. These are often the simple things that build happiness in a relationship, making it unique for you and your partner. Use little pet names or nicknames to add a special sparkle to your relationship.

10. Good communication

Good communication in a relationship is open and honest. There’s the freedom to be yourself and share your private thoughts without fear of judgment. Both partners can talk about anything. Plus, good communication means you can talk about your concerns or things that bother you about the other person. If this is done with humility and kindness, the corrected person will feel grateful their partner cares enough for them to point out their shortcomings. If your partner refuses to hear your criticisms, this should be a big red flag for you. It would be best if you found out why this is the case. Ask good questions to draw out your partner. It could mean they aren’t as committed to the relationship as you thought.

11. Commitment to the relationship

Long-lasting relationships are made up of couples who are genuinely committed to their relationship. They both want the relationship to succeed and work towards this goal. They use language and do things that show their commitment to each other. One partner isn’t pulling the other one along to make things work out. They are both in it for the long haul. These couples speak in a way that shows their commitment to a strong relationship. They say things like:

Saying “we” instead of “I.”
Seeking to build up rather than tearing one another down.
Doing the hard work to strengthen their relationship, like reading books on relationships, attending couples’ seminars, or getting counseling if necessary.

If you are the only one making all the effort in the relationship it may be time to step back and reconsider your partner’s commitment. Ask some good questions to determine how they view the relationship and how committed they are to it.

Final Thoughts on Deciding if Your Partner Is the One You’ll Stay with Forever

If you wonder whether you and your partner will stay together, hopefully, this list will help you answer your big question, “Is this person the one?” If these ten things are in place in your relationship, there is a good chance you’ll stick together for a long time. If not, it could be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Choosing to respect, encourage, and be vulnerable with one another will create a strong relationship. Trustworthiness and good communication are foundational to strong couples. Of course, laughing together and creating unique rituals that make you a spectacular pair will also help grow your happiness. If you’ve got these in place, you two will be a loving couple, just the ones you admire.

23 Vegan Substitutes Most People Don’t Know About

March 14, 2022 by Chris Butler

If you’re vegan, you’ve probably become accustomed to making exchanges in recipes to conform to your diet. However, those beginning this all-natural eating journey may not know all the tips and tricks and vegan substitutes available. When it comes to cooking for a natural lifestyle, plant-based alternatives will save the day and won’t take away from the flavor.

Did you know that more than 15.5 million Americans have turned to veganism? This is according to a study conducted by the World Animal Foundation. The numbers consuming a plant-based diet have steadily increased in recent years, continuing to ascend. As it grows in popularity, the need for more effective vegan substitutions exists.

23 Vegan Substitutes Most People Don’t Know About

When folks start this healthier eating style, the first thing they believe is that they will have to become accustomed to bland, tasteless foods. However, with a little creativity, you can make mouthwatering main dishes and desserts. There’s no reason you can’t make dishes just as delicious as those made by non-vegan counterparts, especially with this list of substitutions.

Vegan (Plant-based) Substitutes for Eggs

A baker’s most significant challenge is finding an egg replacement. If you leave eggs out of your recipe, you will have a product that lacks volume and texture. While nothing perfectly mimics the egg, a few tasty options will get the job done.

1. Bananas

Bananas are very versatile, and they’re great to have on hand as a vegan replacement. The key is they’re rich in fiber, so they act as a great binding agent. You can exchange one average-sized banana for one egg.

Now, remember the mixture will be a bit thicker than an egg, so you may need to adjust your liquid content slightly.

2. Applesauce

Applesauce is used in many vegan-based dishes because the apple is quite versatile. To use it as an egg replacement, you need four tablespoons per egg. Now, it’s important to remember that apples are naturally sweet due to their fructose content, so you may need to adjust your sugars to balance things out and opt for a sugar-free variety.

3. Egg Substitutes

You can find egg substitutes on your grocery store shelves. These powdered substances you mix with water to give you the egg benefits. You will find that the substance is a bit sticky when you mix it up, but it will get the job done.

4. Aquafaba

Aquafaba is the brine from chickpeas, and it’s very healthy. The key is that this is economical, which is often an issue in vegan cooking. Also, the composition of the liquid and the flavor are perfect for an egg substitute.

Did you know you can make a vegan meringue with this composition? Who knew you could have lemon meringue pie that’s animal-free?

5. Chia Seeds

You cannot talk about egg substitutes and not mention the chia seed. These tiny seeds have become quite popular these days, and their versatility is undeniable. When you add water to chia seeds, its poofs up and becomes a bit slimy, just like the egg.

Take three tablespoons of water to one tablespoon of chia seeds to make an egg-like substance. Now remember that chia seeds can become clumpy, so you don’t just want to add them to your dish without some time to rest. Allow the mixture to sit for ten to fifteen minutes before mixing it with your other ingredients.

6. Tofu

Vegan substitutes like silken tofu are another option. Most people prefer to use this as their egg replacement because it’s as close as they come. If you want to get creative, you can use this tofu to make things like mock scrambled eggs, and it will be challenging to know the difference.

Vegan Substitutes for Cheese

Being vegan doesn’t mean you must give up cheese or a product that tastes very similar. What would your soy burger be without it? Here are some fantastic vegan substitutes for cheese.

1. Nutritional Yeast

This plant-based product is made from yeast, so it has a very similar taste to cheese. Though it’s hard to pinpoint an exact way to describe the taste, it does the trick. Vegetarians cannot ignore the health benefits of this product. But it will make a noticeable difference in your vegan mac and cheese and other dishes.

2. Tofu

Tofu is an excellent product because of its versatility, but since it’s so malleable, it is one of the best vegan substitutes for cheese. While the flavor isn’t as spot-on as other products, the texture is pretty close. You must play around with different spics and flavor combinations to find the right balance for you.

3. Cashew

It seems the vegan baker can do just about anything with nuts these days, but when you turn cashews into cheese, it’s just miraculous. You want to make a paste from the nuts, and you can do this by soaking them in some water.

They become pretty flexible so that you can manipulate them. To complete the cheese, you want to add some nutritional yeast along with your favorite spices and herbs to finish it off. You will honestly be amazed at the result.

4. Sweet Potatoes and Carrots

Veganism requires you to get quite creative, so turning potatoes or carrots into cheese will bring out that creativity. This is more for making a nacho cheese-type product. However, it’s as easy as can be, as you just put the sweet potatoes or carrots into a blender and puree.

Once it’s complete, you add some spices to make it cheesy. Remember that this is better as a spicier cheese sauce than your traditional sliced variety.

Vegan Substitutes for Meats

If you want to eat a plant-based lifestyle, your most significant task as a cook is to convince people they’re eating meat and not plant-based products. Here are some of the best options available.

1. Beans

You know that beans are good for your heart, but did you know that they can also be used to replace ground beef. It’s easy to make, high in protein, and the meaty flavor is a hit. You can also flavor these in many ways to fool even the staunchest critic.

2. Tofu

Tofu is often used as a meat substitute because it absorbs the flavor. You can make it into anything you want. If you’re starting on this vegan journey, tofu is an excellent product for you to experiment with initially.

3. Jackfruit

Jackfruit is a super-hot trend among vegan substitutes. When you cook this unusual fruit, it transforms into something else. The inside fruit is a bit stringy, and the flavor cooks away, allowing it to be seasoned into one mock pulled pork sandwich you won’t believe.

4. Seitan

Seitan is made from wheat gluten and is very similar to tofu. This should be your go-to substitute if you want to make a product that resembles chicken. It’s very flexible and can be manipulated for the perfect chicken flavor.

5. Eggplant

You can slice your eggplant into burger-sized portions and season them to perfection. Not only is it delicious, but it will smell and taste just like a burger.

Vegan Substitutes for Butter

Yes, most people forget that butter is an animal product, so you need to find an alternative. Here are a few to consider.

1. Plant-Based Butter Alternatives

These are inexpensive and easy to find in any local grocery store and taste just like the real deal.

2. Coconut Oil

The fact that coconut can be used at a 1:1 ratio for butter is fantastic. Plus, it tastes great and has fantastic health benefits.

3. Vegetable Oil

While it won’t replace stick butter, it certainly has its place in stir fry and other cooking where you need a liquid alternative.

Vegan Substitutes for Milk

Here are the most common milk substitutions, and you can find them in most grocery stores across the country. The good news is that you can use all these vegan substitutes with a 1:1 ratio of cow’s milk.

Rice Milk
Oat Milk
Soy Milk
Almond and other kinds of nut milk
Hemp Milk

Final Thoughts on Vegan Substitutes Most People Don’t Know About

Choosing veganism or a plant-based eating style is healthy for you and helps make a more sustainable planet. Many studies show the vast benefits. According to Plant Based News, the phytochemicals and antioxidants in the fruits and vegetables you eat can help protect you from certain health conditions and chronic diseases.

The key is these antioxidants fight free radicals, which offer protection. Additionally, if you’re fighting the battle of the bulge, adopting a vegan lifestyle can help you manage your weight. You can easily make your favorite dishes and enjoy a well-rounded diet with the substitutions listed above.

Editorial update 10.10.2023: Updated statistics regarding the number of vegans in the United States.

10 Reasons Cuddling Every Day Is So Important

March 13, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Finding time to relax in your busy schedule might be challenging. But making it a priority can improve your life. Taking time to relax and cuddle with someone has many benefits you’ll be happy to take advantage of.

Physical touch is a basic human need, along with food, water, and adequate shelter. People require interaction with others, and the power of touch is incredible. Your skin is the first organ that develops within the womb, making touch the first experience sensation.

Because it is the first organ to develop, babies thrive on touching others. The urge never diminishes because even adults need to experience touch. Needing to be touched is more than just a craving; cuddling with someone is essential for your well-being.

If you ever need an excuse to cuddle, you can use some of these reasons snuggling every day is so important. It’s beneficial to your mental and physical health, and it can make every aspect of your life a little better.

Ten Reasons Cuddling Every Day Is So Important

1. Cuddling Boosts the Immune System

When you cuddle with someone, your body releases hormones that help fight infection. Making snuggling a typical part of your routine can save you from getting sick as often. It strengthens your immune system cells, keeping them in good shape.

You can avoid catching a cold or other illness while snuggling each day. When you feel good, your body works wonders in eliminating foreign bodies and viruses.

2. It Benefits Your Brain

Cuddling will trigger the release of cortisol and dopamine, hormones associated with brain health. Dopamine promotes positive brain function, including attention, behavior, cognition, mood, pleasure, and desire. It also makes you feel more motivated and ready to move, and it helps you reinforce positive behavior.

Additionally, since it helps you sleep better, it improves your memory. When you get good sleep, your brain functions better, and you can recall things you learned before.

3. Cuddling Decreases the Risk of Heart Disease

Physical touch and intimacy increase oxytocin levels, offering many benefits. It helps reduce blood pressure, reducing your risk of developing heart disease. Your heart is healthier when your body isn’t working so hard to prevent stress and illness.

Hugging or touching someone you care about reduces blood pressure. When it decreases, you’re less susceptible to the risks associated with high blood pressure.

4. It Helps You Sleep Better

Snuggling for even ten minutes before going to bed can help you sleep much better. Since it triggers the release of oxytocin, you’ll experience less stress as you drift off to sleep. You’ll fall asleep easier and sleep better during the night, waking up feeling well-rested.

Plus, if that’s an issue, you might sleep longer and have fewer nightmares. Experts say that even ten minutes of snuggling can improve your sleep health.

5. Cuddling Makes You Feel Good

When your body releases oxytocin while you cuddle, the hormone helps you feel good overall. It promotes positivity and happiness, and it can reduce aches and pains. The mood-boosting side effects kick in quickly and last for quite some time.

Snuggling also makes you feel calmer as it releases oxytocin. Finding a calming technique can make all the difference in your life when you have a hectic and busy schedule.

6. It Reduces Stress and Anxiety

The hormones released while snuggling inspire positive thinking, helping you feel less stressed and anxious. You’ll have a more optimistic outlook on life and won’t get caught in the cycle of rumination or worry as often.

Snuggling also makes you feel more confident in yourself, making you more resilient. When you can handle unexpected situations easier, you won’t stress over them as much. The oxytocin released when you cuddle leads to the following:

Increased positive response to many stimuli
Suppressed physiological stress
Lowered norepinephrine
Decreased blood pressure and heart rate
Lowed cortisol hormone levels

7. Cuddling Relieves Pain

If you have tense muscles or an injury, snuggling can help relieve the pain. Physical touch and oxytocin make you feel better, so find someone to cuddle up with. It prevents pain signals from reaching your brain in the first place, making pain management much more manageable.

If you suffer from chronic pain, snuggling can help with that, too. It reduces lower back pain and decreases the discomfort associated with irritable bowel syndrome. Cuddling can also reduce pain for those with cancer.

Researchers found that oxytocin can help with pain from less severe situations like menstrual cramps. If you have a headache or stubbed your toe, look for someone to cuddle with. Snuggling has similar effects as therapeutic touch, an alternative medicine practice that balances energy to ease the pain.

8. Cuddling Strengthens Relationships

You probably guessed this one, but snuggling strengthens your relationships. You don’t have to communicate verbally if you’re touching, and it promotes feelings of comfort, safety, and trust. Plus, it reassures both people that they are wanted.

These feelings don’t only happen during the snuggling session, either. They last long afterward, benefitting your relationships even when you’re apart for a little while.

Instead of coming home and stressing out about your job or other issues, sit down to cuddle. When you cuddle instead of stressing, it improves your relationship overall. Plus, physical contact allows you to focus on your loved ones and the positive feelings they give you.

Hugs and physical touches can also help with positive communication in your relationships. When you’re stressed, communicating effectively is hard, but physical contact makes it easier. You’ll also build trust in your relationship as you bond through snuggling and communicating better.

9. It Helps a Woman Bond with Her Baby

Oxytocin strengthens your relationship bond, which is typical for a mother and baby. Skin-to-skin contact makes parents feel closer to their baby and helps their child develop a secure attachment. As a mother cuddles her baby during a feeding, the mom feels relaxed and enjoys her time with the child.

As the baby grows, the time spent snuggling during their early months can help their development. They will be more confident, embrace individualization, and feel safe to explore. Plus, they will naturally show empathy to others, develop healthy social relationships, and cope with stress better than others.

It’s also important to note that oxytocin helps parents in other ways. The hormone makes breastfeeding easier, encourages sleep, leads to less crying, and reduces discomfort.

10. It Prevents Weight Gain and Curbs Cravings

Weight gain can occur for many reasons, and giving in to cravings is one. Another reason for weight gain is hormonal imbalance, indicating low levels of oxytocin or serotonin. Snuggling boosts these hormones, helping curb your cravings and avoid gaining weight.

Snuggling with someone you care about also makes you feel satisfied after meals. It promotes healthier food choices and can help prevent binge eating.

Serotonin also helps with proper digestion and signals to your brain when you’re full. It’s also essential to note that a lack of serotonin can lead to digestive issues such as irritable bowel syndrome. Cuddling daily makes you less likely to have problems like this.

Additionally, the more serotonin you produce, the better your body digests food. It helps process the food, taking in all the nutrients and vitamins. Cuddling won’t heal current digestive issues, but it can prevent them from occurring and help with symptoms.

Who You Should Cuddle With

Many people think they must have a romantic partner to cuddle with daily. However, you can cuddle with anyone you care about, and it’ll produce the same effect. You can cuddle with a friend, pet, child, or anyone you like.

Other Options

You have another option if you’re not much for snuggling or can’t find someone to cuddle with. You can schedule a professional massage, achieving many of the same benefits as cuddling with a loved one.

Another option is to massage your own shoulders or tense muscles. Find a quiet place to sit still and rub your muscles until you feel better. You can also take a warm or hot bath because feeling the warmth and experiencing the sensation on your skin will release oxytocin.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Cuddling Every Day Is So Important

Cuddling isn’t just a fun way to relax with someone you care about. It offers many physical and mental health benefits, allowing you to live a happy and fulfilling life. You’ll experience less pain, stress, and other sources of negativity. As a result, your positive experiences will increase.

The power of touch can do so much for you, and you’ll never be sorry about how you spent your time snuggling. It’s relaxing while improving all areas of your life. Find your favorite cuddle buddy and spend some time together so that you can embrace the many benefits.

8 Soft Skills Employers Look for in Employees Without Saying So

March 12, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

One constant image in science fiction is a new world automated by robots. While modern technology and robotics have improved production in many fields, it still depends on people. That irreplaceable human touch is what separates hard skills from soft skills.

The skills you’ve learned for a specific job are hard skills–you can learn them and measure them. Computer capabilities, machine operation, and a certificate or degree are good examples. You received these through classroom instruction and training. In fact, the job description probably lists these as the main qualifiers for your job.

On the other hand, soft skills are your “people skills” and are difficult to quantify. They reflect how you relate to other people professionally or personally and are often called interpersonal abilities. These skills link to personality traits. Instead of measuring them, you must display or exhibit them. Employers may work with a temp agency that has the tools and skills needed to look for job candidates that exhibit these people skills along with the technical skills required for the job.

These talents extend to everyone in your circle of influence. So by observing your actions, people can quickly tell if you have these abilities or not. In fact, how you relate to others speaks volumes about who you’re as a person.

If you are overly sweet to your supervisors and mistreat your fellow workers, you lack people skills. Conversely, being kind and accepting of everyone shows maturity and leadership capabilities. Both soft and hard skills are necessary for any career path you follow.

The Best of Both Skillsets

Your interpersonal skills are just as essential to your employer as your hard skills. It doesn’t matter if you’re the most brilliant accountant in a firm if you can’t get along with coworkers and clients. Conversely, extraordinary people skills alone wouldn’t qualify you to be a physician.

It would help if you had an appropriate balance of hard skills and people skills to succeed on the job. Not only does it create a more positive work atmosphere, but it cultivates a bond between you and your customers. This balance also can help your workplace be more productive.

Eight Soft Skills Employers Want to See

Knowing what an employer expects makes it easier to understand where you need to improve. Most interpersonal skills involve relating well to others and treating them how you want to be treated. These are eight soft skills that employers want to see from their employees.

1. Communication Is Perhaps the Most Fundamental of the Soft Skills

Regardless of your job title or industry, excellent communication skills are crucial. Actively listening to your clients can differentiate between a sale or a missed opportunity. Plus, it’s one of the people skills you need to relate to your supervisors and coworkers. These are some of the components of communication skills:

Clear and concise language
Active listening
Excellent written communication
Non-verbal communication: Social cues, receptive body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures

2. Group Dynamics

People are more valuable to employers when they understand team players. According to an article published by the University of Michigan, working together can bring a better outcome. Everyone contributes their skills, experience, and talent to achieve a common goal.

Being an effective team player includes respecting others and getting along with your colleagues. Working in a positive environment allows your team to brainstorm and solve problems better. Everybody works together and doesn’t allow egos to cause division and negativity.

How do you relate in a brainstorming session at work? Do you demand the center stage, or do you shy away into the shadows? Good interpersonal skills help you be an influential team member while respecting contributions from your fellow employees. Group dynamic skills involve these abilities:

Coordinating efforts
Negotiation with all interested parties
Delegating tasks and responsibilities
Coordinating schedules and tasks
Collaboration
Conflict management
Getting along with and respecting others

3. Adaptability

How flexible are you mentally and emotionally? Adaptability is one of the people skills employers need in an ever-evolving work field. It would help if you were open to changes in policy, procedures, technology, and the environment.

While it’s essential to abide by rules and standards of operation, you must be flexible. If not, you may lag when a sudden change happens at your job. Inflexibility can cause problems down the road and may even result in job loss.

For example, technology is constantly changing and making present technology obsolete. What if your company announces a new computer program for the staff? If you’re adaptable and willing to learn new concepts and procedures, you’ll continue to evolve with your company. These are skills that make you more adaptable:

A positive attitude, especially toward change
An open mind
Motivation skills
Organization
Self-management
Constructive curiosity
Quick decisiveness
The ability to stay calm and lower your stress level

4. Impeccable Work Ethic

Interpersonal skills also include your work ethic, which is your pride in your job. You take a vested interest in each task and your role in the company. A good work ethic will take you far in whatever career you choose. Some examples of work ethic skills include:

Dependability, which is your best ability
Integrity, at work, home, and public
Self-discipline
Initiative, self-starter
Professionalism
Self-motivation
Ability to manage your time wisely

5. Professional Relationship Skills

Soft skills relate to your character and actions and your interpersonal abilities. How do you relate to your peers, colleagues, supervisors, and clients? Are you friendly, approachable, and respectful, especially those under your authority?

Your people skills should involve these essential aspects:

Empathy
Patience, with others and yourself
Sensitivity to others and delicate situations
Tolerance and acceptance
Networking
Excellent public speaking skills
A good sense of humor
Mentoring skills

6. Creativity

Creativity is not only an asset in artistic fields, but it’s also valuable to any workplace you choose. In his article published by the Journal of Creative Behavior, Dr. Michael D. Mumford explains the necessity of creativity in business. It’s the key for the evolution and growth of organizations, says Mumford.

It often takes creativity to solve problems and inspire a new direction. It’s the ability to gaze beyond the ordinary to see the extraordinary. Your creative skills consist of these:

Divergent thinking, or “coloring outside of the lines.”
Innovation
Inspiration
Imagination
Understanding concepts in a different way or reframing
Curiosity

7. Leadership Skills

You have a unique opportunity to share your leadership abilities if you’re a supervisor. You work with your staff to build camaraderie and workplace pride. Remember that influential leaders lead by example as well as by direction. Soft leadership skills have these characteristics:

Trust from your staff and for your staff
Humility is the only difference between you and them in your roles.
Empathy
Versatility
Self-Discipline
Genuineness
Active listening
Active mentor

8. Time Management One of the Key Soft Skills

Your supervisors want to know that they don’t have to micromanage you every second. Thus, time management time is a soft skill crucial for your job-related tasks. That’s because once you learn how to set deadlines for yourself you can avoid procrastination.

So what does that look like? These are also components of good time management:

Prioritization, from most urgent to the least.
Setting reasonable goals and meeting them
Planning, short term, and long term
Organization
Managing stress effectively
Decisive, and not constantly second-guessing yourself
Delegation: You don’t overload yourself or anyone else on the team.
Focusing on the task at hand
Self-motivation
Coping with things you can’t change

How You Can Improve Your Soft Skills

As you review the list of interpersonal skills, you’ll be able to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has room to grow and can discover ways to improve their skills. These are some helpful suggestions:

Be honest with yourself and do a self-inventory on your interpersonal skills.
Write a list of the skills you want to improve and ways to practice them.
Ask for honest feedback from a trusted colleague or friend.

So please use this information as a guide for improvement after making your list and receiving feedback. Try not to be defensive when your friend or colleague is honest with constructive criticism. They are only trying to help you see more opportunities to grow.

Besides these tips, you can work with a mentor or a professional life coach if necessary. That helps because these professionals know how to help others reach their potential. They’ll demonstrate good interpersonal skills while offering constant feedback.

Highlighting Your Soft Skills for a New Job

It’s easier for potential employers to see hard skills on a resume than your interpersonal skills. If you have the same hard skill qualifications as another applicant, your people skills may be the deciding factor. Be sure to list all these skills on your application and resume and discuss them in the interview.

Final Thoughts on Soft Skills that Employers Expect–Even if They Don’t Vocalize Them to You

Employers want to hire employees who have the hard skills to get the job and the people skills to keep it. Thus, you need to balance these two skill sets no matter where you work. Blending knowledge, skills, and effective interpersonal relations are what you need to succeed in the workforce.

Researchers Reveal Why A Night Light May Disrupt Sleep in Preschoolers

March 12, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A study by CU Boulder researchers finds that a night light may disturb sleep in preschoolers. Even exposure to low intensities of light an hour before bedtime can disrupt melatonin production. As this sleep-inducing hormone decreases, it makes it difficult to fall asleep.

Furthermore, the study found that a night light may negatively impact sleep for hours after bedtime. The findings were published earlier this month in the Journal of Pineal Research.

Funded by the National Institutes of Health, the research marks the latest in a series investigating the circadian rhythm of young children. The study suggests that preschoolers have a higher sensitivity to night lights, with some showing more physiological impacts than others.

“Our previous work showed that one, fairly high intensity of bright light before bedtime dampens melatonin levels by about 90% in young children,” said first author Lauren Hartstein, a postdoctoral fellow in the Sleep and Development Lab at CU Boulder. “With this study, we were very surprised to find high melatonin suppression across all intensities of light, even dim ones.”

Light impacts our circadian rhythm more than any other biological or environmental factors. Our central body clock regulates many functions in the body, from sleep to hunger to body temperature. When light hits the retina, a signal travels to a brain region called the suprachiasmatic nucleus. This coordinates rhythms throughout the body, including melatonin production each night.

If light exposure occurs during the evening when melatonin naturally increases, it can slow or even inhibit the hormone. Then, the body and mind become confused, thinking it’s still daytime, even late at night.

University Explains Why A Night Light May Disrupt Sleep in Preschoolers

This impacts preschool children even more because their eyes have larger pupils and more translucent lenses. Therefore, light can more easily travel into their eyes. In fact, one study found that 1.2 times more blue light streams into a 9-year-old’s eye than an adult’s.

“Kids are not just little adults,” said senior author Monique LeBourgeois, an associate professor of Integrative Physiology. She’s one of only a handful of researchers worldwide studying the circadian rhythm of young children. “This heightened sensitivity to light may make them even more susceptible to dysregulation of sleep and the circadian system.”

To study their vulnerability to night lights, the researchers collaborated with Colorado School of Mines mathematician Cecilia Diniz Behn for the study. They recruited 36 healthy children between the ages of 3 and 5. The nine-day study required the children to wear a wrist monitor, keeping track of their sleep and night light exposure.

Parents ensured their children stuck to a stable bedtime routine for seven days, so their circadian rhythm remained stable. This way, their melatonin levels would start increasing around the same time each night.

On the eighth day, researchers turned the childrens’ rooms into a “cave,” as they jokingly called them. They covered the windows with black plastic and dimmed the lights to do this.

Then, they took saliva samples from the children every half-hour, beginning in the early afternoon until after bedtime. This allowed scientists to measure the children’s melatonin levels and document when their biological nighttime began.

During the final day of the study, the preschoolers played games on a light table in the hour leading up to bedtime. They sat about a foot from the light table, similar to a person using a phone or tablet. The children were exposed to varying light levels, ranging from 5 lux to 5,000 lux. For perspective, a candle about 3 feet away emits one lux of light.

Children More Susceptible to Sleep Disruptions from Night Lights

As expected, their melatonin production fell drastically compared to the nights with minimal light exposure. After using the light table, the children’s melatonin levels declined by 70 to 99%. However, the researchers didn’t notice a correlation between light intensity and melatonin suppression. On the other hand, studies on adults have found an intensity-dependent response.

Even when children had dim light exposure of 5 to 40 lux – much darker than normal room light – melatonin declined by 78%. What’s more, even after 50 minutes of darkness, melatonin didn’t increase in over half of the children tested.

“Together, our findings indicate that in preschool-aged children, exposure to light before bedtime, even at low intensities, results in robust and sustained melatonin suppression,” said Hartstein.

Despite the findings, parents don’t need to shun night lights and transform children’s rooms into “caves.” However, it’s vital to monitor children’s screen time before bed in the age of technology. Have rules in place, so kids know when to shut off electronics and wind down for bedtime.

By dimming the lights an hour or two before bed, children will learn healthy sleep habits and enjoy better quality sleep. Keep in mind that a tablet emits up to 100 lux when turned to full brightness and held 1 foot away in a dark room.

For children who already have a hard time falling and staying asleep, it’s even more crucial to instill sleep hygiene.

“They may be more sensitive to light than other children,” said LeBourgeois, noting that genes — along with daytime light exposure — can influence light sensitivity. “In that case, it’s even more important for parents to pay attention to their child’s evening light exposure.”

Final Thoughts on How Night Lights Impact Melatonin in Preschoolers

A recent study by CU Boulder researchers revealed that preschoolers’ sleep might suffer when a night light illuminates their room. Shockingly, the team found that the children’s melatonin levels declined by 70 to 99% when they used a light table before bed. Light intensity ranged from 5 to 5,000 lux, but even minimal light exposure suppressed melatonin by 78%. Therefore, children need to adhere to a bedtime routine and put away electronics before bed.

Today, many young children use electronic devices at bedtime, but we shouldn’t normalize this practice. As children have vulnerable, developing brains and bodies, they need all the rest they can get. If you’re a parent, make sure to talk with your children about the importance of prioritizing sleep. It’s never too early to teach them about fostering healthy habits.

5 Principles as a Path to Peace and Joy

March 12, 2022 by Joshua Kramer

Are you looking for a path to peace and joy in your life? For many of us, we seek an approach or methodology that will lead us to feel lighter in all areas of our lives. But to be light, we first must be solid.

And that’s why it’s necessary to create a firm foundation on which to build our lives, a foundation that will tell us who we are and how we can achieve a more free-flowing way of life. It’s by laying a foundation for being rather than doing, that we’re able to act more naturally, without having to overthink what we do.

The truth is that we’re so inwardly focused and directed at self, that we constantly feel overwhelmed by cares, worries, and anxieties. Instead, it’s essential that we remove the focus on ourselves and understand the importance of selflessness, which becomes the unifying thread between each of the following five principles.

Five Principles That Lead Us to Peace and Joy in Life

1 – Kindness

In many ways, kindness is the key to all of the other principles – and everything else in life. As the fourteenth Dalai Lama has famously said,

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

It doesn’t get much simpler than that. Kindness is guided by compassion and achieved by letting go of judgments and allowing for emotional vulnerability. Kindness lightens both our minds and burdens and becomes its own reward. Indeed, it may be the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

2 – Gratitude

The feeling of gratitude builds directly off of kindness, creating a natural flow for being. Ultimately, gratitude depends on developing an awareness of what you have in life and the good that is already around you.

By helping us become more in tune with the things we should be thankful for, gratitude helps us become more present in the moment. When we develop a mindset that things happen “for me, not to me”, we let go of the need for controlling the events of our lives, which allows for a more light and free sense of being.

3 – Integrity

This foundational principle provides a solid basis for consistent decision-making. It means recognizing and living your core values and forgoing the rationalization that ignores basic truth, honor, and respect. At its heart is decency, as integrity induces us to define our values and take responsibility. By doing so, we build a strong default for decision making, removing much of the grey area and ambivalence we often face.

As Albert Camus famously wrote,

“Integrity has no need of rules.”

4 – Humility

When we think about humility, it has much to do with your perspective on life and how it can recenter your purpose by reducing the size and scope of misplaced self-importance. Humility creates a context for everything we experience by helping to understand our own significance – and insignificance – in the grand scheme of things.

Having perspective is a central value and this is strengthened by cultivating awe. When we allow ourselves to be awestruck by the world around us, we worry less about being awestruck by ourselves.

5 – Acceptance

Coco Chanel once said,

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.”

The principle of acceptance is based on our ability to accept what is and let go of what isn’t. By embracing flexibility, we allow ourselves to cope with change because it roots us in reality and relieves us of impractical expectations.

Acceptance ultimately helps us to acknowledge the truth and change the narrative of the stories we tell ourselves. As a result, we become more sensible, practical, and mature.

And so it’s possible, with open-mindedness, to make a conscious decision to build a foundation for peace and joy in a way that is both manageable and effective. These principles are foundational, and therefore fundamental to our being.

Final Thoughts on Finding the Path to Peace and Joy

Just as important, they are principles that we can incorporate into our lives in a way that feels natural and instinctive, helping us to understand our place in society and our purpose for being. It gives us a perspective for viewing the world around us with an attitude of abundance and objectivity.

Louise Hay once wrote, “I don’t fix my problems. I fix my thinking and then my problems fix themselves.”

With that sentiment in mind, the five principles are intended to offer an adjustment to your thinking.

They will challenge the standards you feel are most important and offer a path to peace and joy through virtues and values that can stand the test of time. It’s a back-to-basics, “Unself Help” approach that simplifies in order to strengthen.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!