5 Ways To Deal With People Who Don’t Listen

November 10, 2015 by Power of Positivity

According to an article on PR Daily, less than 2 percent of people have had any formal education on listening effectively. No wonder so many people don’t know how to listen in the world!

Many times when we talk to people, it seems our words simply go in one ear and out the other, which makes communication with them difficult, if not impossible. We could speculate for days on the reasons why people don’t listen; maybe they have a lot on their mind and can’t seem to quiet it enough to listen to you, or maybe they just don’t have any interest in the topic at hand, or maybe they love to hear their own voice more than other peoples’.

We can’t get inside their heads and make them listen, but we can control our methods of dealing with these people, so that communicating with them doesn’t feel like talking to a rock or some other inanimate object.

Here are 5 ways to deal with people who don’t listen:

1. Ask them more questions.

Anytime you try to explain something in detail, and don’t give the other person a chance to follow up with questions, the conversation will start to become one-sided. After each main point you make, open the floor to allow them chances to ask any questions they might have. You could even ask them questions to reiterate your points, such as “What have you learned so far?” or “Do you have any questions about what I’ve said?” People like to feel involved in the conversation, not like they’re sitting through a lecture in college.

Obviously, it takes two people to have a conversation, so make it more fun and interactive, especially if you’re trying to teach someone a new skill.

2. Give them a chance to talk.

Maybe they don’t have any questions for you, but they just want to make their points heard. Instead of focusing on getting them to listen, maybe try listening to them. Show patience with them, and make sure you give them opportunities to speak their mind. You never know; maybe people talk over them a lot, so they feel like their voice doesn’t matter. Give them the opportunity to express themselves, and once you’ve earned their trust, they will care more about your thoughts and ideas.

3. Focus on creating a meaningful relationship with them.

You can’t have effective communication with someone if you don’t take the time to build a relationship with them. If you don’t know who they are or what they’re about, how can you possibly know how to get ideas through to them? Instead of fixating on their flaws in communicating, you need to earn their trust and create a safe space for them to express themselves. The best communicators don’t try to push ideas on others; they simply try to create lasting connections with people. Attempt to understand people and show them compassion, and you will find that people will listen to you more willingly.

4. Try to explain things in a way that he/she can understand.

To get people to listen to you, you need to get on their level and communicate in a way that makes sense to them. At the end of the day, they need to work on their listening skills, but you could help them along the way. Maybe they just communicate differently than most people, or get easily overwhelmed in conversations. Ask them questions about how you could make communication with you work better for them; if you show you genuinely care about the person, they will feel much more comfortable talking to you, and that respect will go a long way in getting them to listen.

5. Educate yourself more on their learning style.

Are they a more verbal or visual learner? Get to know more about how they learn best, so you can communicate your ideas in a sustainable manner. Nothing feels more frustrating than talking to someone who doesn’t seem to comprehend what you’re saying, so to prevent that, try to cater to other people’s learning styles. This might apply more in the workplace as opposed to just talking casually with friends, but no matter the situation, learning all you can about how someone absorbs new ideas can really break the barriers in communicating with them.

Science Explains What Happens to Your Body When You Don’t Sleep Enough

November 9, 2015 by Chris Butler

Sleep, or a lack of it, often makes headlines lately. That’s because sleep deprivation is an epidemic in our society.

With one in three Americans starting each day in a sleep-deprived state, it’s no wonder it’s a topic of conversation. When we are well-rested, we are more productive and healthier, and we feel better. Yet, we still find it challenging to squeeze everything we need to do into our day, and we end up staying up late or waking up early to get it all done.

How Much Sleep Do We Need?

The National Sleep Foundation released a revised recommendation report about the amount of slumber required based on age.

The new recommendations are:
Older adults, 65+ years: 7-8 hours
Adults, 26-64 years: 7-9 hours
Young adults, 18-25 years: 7-9 hours
Teenagers, 14-17 years: 8-10 hours
School-age children, 6-13 years: 9-11 hours
Preschool children, 3-5 years: 10-13 hours
Toddlers, 1-2 years: 11-14 hours
Infants, 4-11 months: 12-15 hours
Newborns, 0-3 months: 14-17 hours

There are times when getting enough rest isn’t an option. You might have a critical report is due, someone is sick and needs care, or must-attend events are scheduled. So what happens to your body when you aren’t getting the recommended amount of shut-eye?

A team of Norwegian neuroscientists set out to answer this question. After observing sleep-deprived groups in a controlled environment, they found that lack of rest can change the white matter in our brains, and other studies have shown that it can interfere with our genes.

The good news is that our bodies are good at repairing themselves. When we get a good night’s rest following a night of poor slumber, our bodies can repair the brain’s white matter change. But a chronic state of sleep deprivation can create long-term effects.

What Happens To Your Body When You Don’t Sleep Enough

Our brains aren’t the only thing that suffers when we don’t rest enough. Here are several additional ways a lack of rest can affect us.

1. We get sick.

Studies show there is a direct relationship between getting sufficient rest and our immune systems. When we are sleep-deprived, our bodies have a more difficult time fighting off illnesses.

2. We have a hard time thinking.

Experimental Brain Research published a study showing that a lack of slumber contributed to poor decision-making, diminished reasoning and problem-solving skills, and slower reaction times when faced with specific tasks.

3. We gain weight.

A three-year-long study of over 21,000 adults evaluated the relationship between sleeplessness and weight. It found people who slept on average fewer than five hours a night were more likely to gain weight and were also at risk of becoming obese.

4. We physically age quicker.

A study of the nighttime habits and skin condition of people between the ages of 30 and 50 found that those suffering from a lack of proper sleep saw the effects in their skin and were more likely to be unhappy with their appearance. They noticed more wrinkles, fine lines, age spots, and a lack of elasticity in the skin.

5. We hurt our heart health.

Insomnia can negatively impact the health of our hearts. A recent analysis published in the European Heart Journal says coronary heart disease and stroke risks increase when we aren’t sleeping.

6. We are more at risk for cancer.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine released a statement connecting insomnia epidemic with higher rates of certain cancers, including breast, prostate, and colorectal cancers. It also showed that people who slept longer than seven hours per night had the lowest mortality rates in the group.

7. We have less sex.

The Journal of the American Medical Association published a study that warns how men who get less than five hours per night over one week had lower testosterone levels than their proper-sleeping counterparts. Specifically, it reduced sex hormone levels by as much as 15 percent. Additionally, with each night of poor rest, their appetite for sex declined.

8. We easily forget things.

Researchers have learned that our brain consolidates things when we sleep, making it easier to recall. When we don’t rest, our brain can’t do its job, and our memory suffers.

Sleep isn’t just for looks or even to feel refreshed, although they are benefits to a night of decent night of rest. It’s no exaggeration to say sleeping can save your life. Rethink your next binge-watching session on Netflix and choose a healthier, lights-out option instead.

9. Heart attack risk increases with a lack of sleep.

If you don’t get enough of the deeper stages of slumber, your blood pressure can’t drop as it should. This response means your heart and blood vessels don’t get to rest. Lack of sleep causes your blood pressure to remain high all night and all day. This can lead to a stroke or a heart attack. Studies show that getting at least six to eight hours of sleep per night puts you at a lower risk of a cardiovascular event. If you get less than six hours of rest at night, taking a nap in the daytime can increase your risk of a heart attack. A short nap is safe and healthy for people who get more than six hours of sleep at night.

10. Lose your sex drive when you miss out on sleep.

Less sleep causes your brain to be too tired to focus on anything but survival. Your brain stops producing oxytocin, a chemical that enhances your sex drive. When you get more rest, the oxytocin hormone increase causing your sex drive to increase. If your libido has dropped, maybe you need more rest.

11. Sleep risk can increase type 2 diabetes.

Lack of sleep isn’t directly related to type 2 diabetes, but insulin resistance because of sleep loss is related to type 2 diabetes. Lack of sleep lowers your body’s ability to make insulin, a hormone that controls your blood sugar. If you’re not sleeping enough, the lack of insulin reduces your gluten tolerance. This makes the body’s functions less effective, even though it has to work harder.

12. Poor memory.

Slumber is essential for a healthy, brilliant brain. Sleep deprivation affects your ability to remember things and concentrate. Losing sleep makes it harder to recall details or hang on to information. When you’re tired, it’s hard to focus on reading or writing. Insomnia affects your learning ability at school or work.

13. Weak immune system.

When you sleep well, it increases your immune system, so your body can fight off illnesses. Loss of sleep puts you at a higher risk of infections and viruses. Your body repairs cells while you sleep. Not getting enough sleep means your body can’t repair itself, putting you at a higher risk of infection.

14. Grumpy.

Face it, when you don’t sleep well, you feel irritable. This is because disrupted sleep creates negative feelings. Your body and brain are tired. Things that didn’t bother you before suddenly make you feel grumpy. If you want to feel happier, try to get more sleep.

15. Gain weight.

Researchers found that women who sleep less than five hours per night were 32% more likely to gain weight than women who slept longer. Lack of sleep makes you eat more because your body is trying to keep up its energy. Not getting enough sleep disrupts your hunger hormones, making you feel hungrier. If you’re trying to lose weight, get extra rest.

16. Headache.

Sleep deprivation can also cause headaches. It’s something that doctors have noticed for years but aren’t sure why this happens. It’s a known fact that sleeplessness can lead to migraine headaches for many people, especially for people with sleep apnea.

17. Inflammation.

Doctors associate insomnia with inflammation in your body. Women who report poor quality slumber are more prone to suffering from inflammatory conditions, such as

Rheumatoid arthritis
Renal disease
Digestive problems
Asthma
Cancer
Alzheimer’s disease

18. Lack of energy.

When run on empty, you feel drained. You lack the energy to do everyday things. Insomnia disrupts your productivity at school, home, and work. Sleep gives your body the rest it needs so you can have the energy to tackle your daily life.

19. Increased urination.

Individuals who aren’t sleeping well say they notice an increase in their need to pee at night. This is because when you’re getting enough sleep, your body slows down urine production, so you don’t need to get up as much. When you aren’t sleeping well, your body doesn’t slow down urine production. It speeds up, so you need to get up several times in the night to go to the bathroom.

20. Sleep loss makes you look older.

Sleep is the fountain of youth. Lack of rest affects your aging process. Your skin can’t produce collagen, so you look wrinkled and old. The more rest you get, the more collagen your skin makes, so you look more youthful and fresh-faced.

21. Sleep loss could mean a shorter life span.

Living longer is another benefit of a good night’s slumber. Your body restores itself, builds and regenerates cells, and restores your hormonal balance when you sleep. It also removes toxins that have built up in your body. All these functions add up to a healthier, longer life for you.

22. Eye problems.

Insomnia can lead to various health problems, including eye problems. If you’re not sleeping well, it can cause eye issues, such as

Double vision
Tunnel vision
Dimness
Visual impairment

23. Tummy troubles.

Studies show that sleep deprivation increases inflammation in your bowels, leading to digestive problems. If you’re not sleeping well, your body can’t remove the toxin buildup, which leads to an increased amount of bacteria forming in your small bowel. This small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) is a syndrome that is directly related to lack of sleep. If you’re struggling with stomach issues, maybe you need a good night’s rest.

Final Thoughts on the Sleep Loss Epidemic

Insomnia is a severe problem for many people in the United States. The demands of life, family, and work in the busy society have caused many people to shorten their rest time. Loss of sleep has some significant effects on your health. Ignoring your need for good rest may lead to depression, heart disease, gut problems, and weight gain. It’s essential that you resist the urge to set aside a good night’s sleep. Making restfulness a priority can lead to you having a long, healthy life that you enjoy.

9 Reasons Being Alone Is Good For You

November 9, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It seems as if we spend so much time filling our days with activities that finding downtime and time to be alone is fleeting.

Some people feel guilty when they are alone. On the other hand, some don’t like being alone. Still, others think being alone is the same as being lonely. But being alone is necessary for our personal growth and development.

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Being alone is something we do to fuel our soul and energize our life while being lonely is living a life that disconnects us from others. One fosters personal growth, and the other keeps us stuck.

We’re so busy scheduling our days that finding time to be alone can be a struggle. And it’s not just adults that need alone time. It’s our children too. A study authored by expert Reed W. Larson showed, “Adolescents … who spent an intermediate amount of their time alone were better adjusted than those who spent little or a great deal of time alone.”

Any activity you can do with others, you can do alone. We are so used to inviting friends and families on our outings that we rarely allow ourselves to do things ourselves. Be spontaneous, and the next time there is a desire to go to the movies, out to dinner, or even do some shopping, opt to do it alone.

It might seem odd at first, and that’s okay. Suppose we allow ourselves to observe and process what is happening without judgment. In that case, we will gain a critical perspective and some valuable information to help us understand our needs and wants.

There is a movement in the world highlighting the importance of slowing down and enjoying the moment. There is no better way to slow down and become more mindful of the world around you than spend some time alone.

9 Reasons Being Alone is Good For Your Soul

Are you not convinced? There are plenty of reasons why spending time alone is good for us. First, it forces us to slow down and become more observant. Here are a few more.

1. It clears the mind.

There is a lot of chatter in our lives. The media, our colleagues, friends, and family all contribute to how we form our opinions by expressing theirs. When we take the time to be alone, we can clear our minds of all the noise and allow our inner voice to become apparent.

2. It fosters creativity.

Creativity happens when our mind is free to explore and wander. There aren’t competing thoughts and agendas when we are alone, which allows our minds the freedom to take a journey based on true inspiration.

3. It builds confidence.

Confidence is hard to build with so many outside influences. Being alone allows us to develop our authentic voice based on our values. This voice becomes more assertive and steadfast when we are firmly planted in what matters most to us, not those around us.

4. It encourages independence.

Being comfortable thinking and acting independently of our support network is the key to living our best life. When we spend time alone, we can dream and create goals that allow us to evolve independently of others.

5. It clarifies perceptions.

The perceptions we have come to life based on our experiences and emotions at the moment. When we take the time to remove ourselves from experience and spend time alone processing the events free from the feeling and influence, we gain clarity around the judgments we initially made.

6. It diminishes stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety occur because of outside expectations. The importance of those expectations becomes less urgent if we can put some perspective on them, which happens when we spend time alone.

7. It establishes priorities.

It’s vital that we continually assess what’s important to us. The best way to get to know ourselves and what matters most is to spend time alone. Without the competing priorities of everyone around us, we can get honest with ourselves and our true passions.

8. It boosts productivity.

When we’re alone and able to get clear on our dreams, goals, and priorities, excitement bubbles. That excitement is the motivation that propels us into specific actions to support those goals and priorities. It makes us eager to work and gives us the energy to do the things that keep our big plan.

9. It strengthens relationships.

Believe it or not, spending time alone supports and strengthens the relationships with the people most matter to us. When we have the time to understand and value ourselves, we can better understand and respect others.

7 Activities When It’s Time For Being Alone

1. Meditate

It provides the perfect opportunity to go within when you have some downtime. Meditation creates a pathway from the little self to the Infinite, where you can honestly know yourself. Various cultures and religions have practiced meditation for millennia to realize their true nature. Although the ultimate goal of meditation is enlightenment or freedom from the cycle of birth and death, you can also enjoy other benefits.

Just a few of the reasons to meditate include:

Lowering heart rate and blood pressure
Reducing stress, anxiety, and depression
Fostering patience and kindness
Being mindful
Eliminating negative emotions
Gaining insight and perspective on your life
Enhancing love and compassion for yourself and others
Improving sleep quality

2. Go For Walks in Nature

Being alone also lets you reconnect with nature while enjoying your own company. Living in a busy city can make you feel out of touch with the rhythms of life. However, being immersed in the natural world reminds you that you’re a small part of a larger picture. We tend to forget that we’re fragments of consciousness in the daily life’s hustle and bustle.

Walking in the woods and hearing the wildlife or rushing streams helps you feel grounded. Seeing this natural beauty and wonder around you fosters a deeper appreciation for life. Studies show that people who spend at least 2 hours per week in nature have lower stress, a calmer nervous system, and improved mood. They also tend to have better self-esteem and overall health.

As long as you feel safe, exploring nature alone allows you to leave the world’s stresses behind. You don’t have to worry about keeping up a conversation or tending to others’ needs for once. At the moment, it’s just you and nature, and there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

3. Harness Your Creativity With Coloring

Studies have shown that adult coloring books can help people destress while providing a creative outlet. It gets you out of your head and focuses entirely on the activity. Unlike other modern recreation such as video games or online chatting, coloring evokes peace and relaxation.

It’s also not as stimulating as being on a smartphone, which most people use to stave boredom or anxiety. However, next time you need to let off some steam, bring out the colors and create a masterpiece instead. Being alone doesn’t mean feeling lonely, as long as you fill the time with activities you enjoy. Plus, coloring allows you to feel like a kid again and leave the worries of adulthood behind for a bit.

4. Being Alone Offers Time To Reflect

We tend to lose sight of our true selves throughout our lives since we’re so busy with responsibilities. At some point, we begin to feel lost and unsatisfied with this whole human experience. Where can we turn to for insight and direction? Luckily, you have a portable paradise waiting inside you. Being alone allows you to go within and tune back into your true nature.

We come into this world as nothing but love and peace, but the outer world makes us forget ourselves. Being alone doesn’t mean you don’t care about others, but you need this time to recharge and rediscover yourself. So, don’t feel guilty about turning off your phone and just decompressing from the demands of life. We only have so much energy to give, and leaving some for yourself is vital.

5. Practice Self-Care

Other activities you can enjoy while being alone include taking a warm bath, stretching, burning incense, or anything else that makes you feel relaxed. We all have a routine for self-care, and it looks different for everyone. No matter what you choose, research shows that taking time for yourself boosts mental and physical well-being.

Some other ideas for self-care include:

aromatherapy
regular exercise
at-home spa days
taking a nap
making a healthy meal
breathing exercises
practicing gratitude
walking in nature
journaling
yoga

6. Cook a Delicious Meal

Another way to be alone is to make the most of being isolated by whipping up your favorite dish. Just because you don’t have others to cook for doesn’t mean you should skimp on dinner. Go ahead and make that steak you’ve been craving or the pasta dish you saw on Instagram the other day. You deserve it! A warm, hearty meal will lift your spirits and make you feel accomplished simultaneously.

7. Read Your Favorite Book

If you need an escape from adulting for a while, why not read that book you’ve had on your nightstand? Perhaps you haven’t had time to crack it open with adult responsibilities, but a day off work provides the perfect opportunity.

You know the joys of being alone if you’re a bookworm since you finally get some peace. There’s no one reminding you of deadlines or demanding something from you. You can be for a while and immerse yourself in a fantasy world beyond your wildest imagination.

As a child, many of us looked forward to curling up with our favorite book after a long school day. Maybe we should bring back that pastime and turn off Netflix for an evening or two in our adult years.

Final Thoughts on the Importance of Being Alone

There are two camps of people when it comes to being alone: those who love it and those who can’t stand it. Typically, extroverts despise alone time, while introverts can’t get enough of it. No matter your personality, everyone can benefit from solitude every so often. The world demands so much of us nowadays that we can quickly lose our connection with ourselves.

Being alone allows you to re-establish that connection through meditation, yoga, nature walks, or other activities. So, put your phone on silent and leave the world behind on your next day off. It’s all about you, so make the most of it!

5 Leaders We Should All Follow

November 9, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Leadership is one of those traits that everyone wants to have. After all, it’s straightforward to follow. Not to mention, it’s much more comfortable knowing that we have a “place” in the hierarchy. These leaders assured some safety by stepping outside of the box and moving the needle toward better human rights.

One example of this is in the modern workplace. At work, we are told that it’s necessary to adhere to policy and take any issues that we have to the “higher-ups.”

This is fine if we wish to take our “place” at work and keep a low profile. However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t embody the traits of great leaders – either in our personal and professional lives.

Let’s take a look at some of the great leaders that have distinguished themselves from others in history. In reading about them, may it inspire us to emulate their boldness and character – even in the face of difficulties.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams.

Here are five leaders we should all strive to emulate:

1. Abraham Lincoln (Decisiveness)

“I walk slowly, but I never walk backward.”

In the United States history, perhaps no other leader has effectively united its citizens with more character and decisiveness than the 16th President. The Civil War, which lasted over four years, is the only war in U.S. history that involved deadly infighting amongst its citizens. In the end, the tragic war had claimed the lives of over 600,000.

The war tormented Lincoln, who already routinely fought melancholy and depression throughout his life. He not only had to deal with the tragic deaths of his citizens, but he also had to manage the unrelenting, inhospitable vitriol that was spewed his way by Congress and some Americans.

Through it all, Lincoln stayed the course and, as a result, the abhorrent act of slavery was abolished. The 16th President united an entire nation, even when the odds against him were enough to crush the will of even the most resilient men. Lincoln delivered perhaps the most critical speech in the history of the United States at Gettysburg; in part stating:

“…we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

2. Nelson Mandela (Courage)

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela’s legacy embodies that of courage and resilience. He was about 30 years of age when the government of South Africa began the apartheid – literally, the “apart-hood” – between white and non-white citizens. Apartheid encompassed policies that forced the non-white population to live in pre-designated areas, use separate public facilities, and limit their interaction with the majority white population.

Mandela was instrumental in orchestrating the revolutionary movement against apartheid. As a result of his efforts, he was ultimately convicted of conspiracy against the government and sentenced to life in prison. Mandela had served 27 years of his sentence until an international campaign against his incarceration pressured the South African government to release him.

Eventually, Mandela became the first black president of South Africa. Mandela worked diligently to abolish apartheid. He successfully implemented a new Constitution that effectively united an entire nation through his tenure. His commitment to human rights serves as an inspiration to leaders to this day.

3. King Leonidas I (Strength)

“They say that the barbarian has come near and is coming on while we are wasting time. Truth, soon we shall either kill the barbarians, or else we are bound to be killed ourselves.”

During Leonidas, I, the Greek King of Sparta, the Persian King Xerxes had made it an utmost priority to conquer the lands of Greece. Xerxes had effectively pillaged and murdered innocent men, women, and children in his conquest with little resistance. That is until the Persian King turned his attention towards the Great King Leonidas’ modest city of Sparta.

Xerxes wasn’t aware of the strength and resilience of the Great King and his fellow warriors. Certainly outnumbered multiple times over, Leonidas resisted all attempts by the Persians to “lay down all arms.” Knowing Leonidas’ ferocious and tactical fighting ability and his fellow Spartan army, Xerxes attempted to appease Leonidas, promising to make him his second command if Leonidas surrendered. Knowing full-well that this appeasement would lead to the slavery of his people, Leonidas vehemently rejected Xerxes’ proposals, even until his death at the infamous battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC.

The bravery of King Leonidas and his fellow countrymen in the face of insurmountable odds continues to be an inspiration to freedom-loving people all over the world.

4. Mother Theresa (Love)

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”

There is perhaps no other person in history who dedicated themselves to the poor and disenfranchised than Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Born in 1910 to a prominent family, Mother Teresa first devoted herself to education, serving as a teacher in India – promising to touch the lives of fragile, young children.

Witnessing the suffering of her fellow countrymen, Mother Teresa devoted her life to serving everyone in tragic circumstances, especially the poor. Inspired by her faith and calling, Mother Teresa took on a life of poverty as a Catholic Nun while continued her teaching – both in and out of the classroom. She sustained her efforts to transform the lives of Indian children through unshakable commitment, generosity, and kindness.

Citing a personal breakthrough in her faith, Mother Teresa continued her humanitarian efforts, venturing into the slums of Calcutta – saying that she wished to do nothing more than “serve the unwanted, the unloved, the uncared for.” She ultimately established care facilities – leper colonies, nursing homes, and health clinics – that continue to serve the sick and needy to this day.

5. Mahatma Gandhi (Peace)

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

Born into a country in turmoil, Mahatma Gandhi was unwavering. He understood that peace, not war, is the best solution to a problem.

Despite an occupying force that was brutally violent and suppressive in their methods, Gandhi was a fabulous and welcoming presence. He was a man that fought with a gentle, loving disposition without ever waving from his principles.

Gandhi pledged to “never harm a single soul” and encouraged his people to do the same. Instead, this great man encouraged civil disobedience through means of peace. More specifically, Gandhi encouraged demonstrations and the boycott of foreign aid provided by the occupying force.

Eventually, the British left India, and Gandhi became the “Father of the Nation.” Perhaps more importantly, Gandhi inspired other leaders to use peace and love in their opposition instead of violence.

5 Habits That Make People Unhappy (And How to Avoid Having Them)

November 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

If you are unhappy, you might be looking for some ideas to help improve your habits.

Happiness is something that we all strive to attain. We can accept that (a) life is short, and (b) unhappiness makes our lives difficult. As is common knowledge, our habits significantly impact the quality of life we live; specifically, these habits directly impact our happiness (or lack thereof). To make a clear distinction, there is a remarkable difference between clinical depression and chronic unhappiness. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, while unhappiness is a disposition that we often acquire through how we choose to live our lives. Similar to depression. However, unhappiness can be diagnosed and treated.

Here are five habits that make people unhappy, all of which can be avoided.

Do you engage in these behaviors?

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” – Martha Washington, wife of 1^st U.S. President George Washington

1. Chronic Complaining

Happy and successful people do not complain much. Conversely, it seems that chronic complainers always have something negative to say, even when those around them are happy! The bottom line: we all have different circumstances that we are given in this lifetime, but in the end, these circumstances are ours – fair or unfair, wanted or unwanted. Instead, seek solutions to problems instead of complaining, leading nowhere.

2. Negative addictions

Most things are good in moderation – food, a drink or two, entertainment. When these things take center stage in our lives, it becomes a problem. Unfortunately, many good people have met their end through addictive habits, primarily through dependence on alcohol and drugs. A great preventative measure and remedy to these addictions? Finding and living our passions to the greatest extent possible (see #8).

3. Regretting the past

Regret is not only useless, but it can also be incredibly harmful. Research continues to show that repetitive, negative thoughts about decisions made in the past in often a precursor to chronic stress and depression. You have four coping methods to deal with regret: (1) learn from mistakes but don’t dwell, (2) if nothing can be changed about the situation to let it go, make sure too much blame is not being undertaken, and(4) reframing the situation more positively.

4. Worrying about the future

We only have so much say in what our future holds. This tip is not meant to disempower (quite the opposite); instead, it states simple truth. What we can do is to live in the present while fully exercising our God-given abilities and talents, enabling and empowering us to live a happier existence. There’s that phrase again: living in the present. Face difficulties as they arise and let them go. Enjoy the beautiful things in life and experience them fully, be present.

5. Being driven by fear

Yes, fear can be an enabler to unhappiness. However, to fully understand this, we must go back to being present again. Quite simply, we can’t allow fear of the unknown (and the unavoidable) to cripple our quality of life. Fear is a negative thought process that is often on autopilot.

Remember: We are not our negative thoughts. We are not fear, worry, anxiety, or any other negative thought process.

Once aware of these habits, you can keep them at bay by following the tips mentioned above.

Join the discussion: What negative habits do you try to avoid?

5 Breathing Exercises That Relax You Immediately

November 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It might seem obvious to say that breathing is important. It is the only way to supply our bodies with the oxygen necessary for survival, and it aids in the process of removing toxins from our body to keep us healthy.

It has been scientifically proven that breathing goes far beyond being a relaxation tool, and can affect the brain, the heart and the digestive and immune systems. While these reasons are critical to our physical well-being, breathing also plays an important role in our mental well-being.

Of course, it’s good to know that modern science supports something that the ancient practice of pranayama, or “control of breath,” has been espousing for thousands of years.

To utilize our breath to reap the benefits, it should be done with intention and purpose. There are varying ways of practicing controlled breath, but the basic components are:

1. Through the nose inhale deeply to a count of five focusing on the expansion of the abdomen.
2. Hold the breath for a time.
3. Completely exhale through the mouth. The exhalation should be longer in duration than the inhalation.

Controlled breathing takes practice, and we now know that our practice will pay off in more ways than we originally thought. The beauty of practicing controlled breath is it can be done anywhere and anytime.

The best time to bring a focus on our breath is when we are tense or feeling anxious. The physical signs of these emotions can help remind us of the importance of the breath and help us return to a calm state.

5 Breathing Exercises That Will Help You Relax Immediately:

1. Sama Vritti Pranayama (Equal Breathing)

Find a comfortable position and close your eyes and take notice of the rhythm of your natural respiration. Once you are completely at ease, inhale slowly to a count of four and then exhale to a count of four. The goal of this technique is to match the inhale count with the exhale count. It is fine to play with the count as long as the inhale and exhale are equal. Continue breathing for several minutes.

2. Adham Pranayama (Abdominal Breathing)

When you are in a comfortable seated or lying position, place one hand on the chest and the other on the abdomen. The goal of this breath is to inflate your diaphragm and not your chest. Take a deep breath in through the nose to the count of four, hold for two counts and then exhale to the count of six. Continue this cycle for ten minutes each day.

3. Nadi Shodhan Pranayama (Alternate Nostril Breathing)

Sit comfortably with good posture ensuring the shoulders are relaxed. Place your left hand on the knee with the palm facing up, take the right index finger and place it on the left nostril and the right thumb on the right nostril. The index finger will be used to close the left nostril, and the right thumb will be used to close the right nostril.

Press your thumb on the right nostril while gently exhaling through the left nostril. At the conclusion of the exhalation, breathe in through the left nostril and then press the left nostril closed while removing the right thumb and opening up the right nostril.

Breathe out through the right nostril and then inhale, alternating to the left side again. Complete nine rounds of breathing, alternately between the left and right nostrils.

4. Sheetali Pranayama (Cooling Breathing)

This breath helps to reduce body temperature, which is beneficial when trying to relax. Begin in a comfortable seated position. Start by rolling the tongue and breathing in through the tongue to cool the breath. Inhale to a count of four and then exhale through the nose to a count of six. Continue the breath for five minutes. As you continue to develop the breath you can increase the counts of inhalation and exhalation.

5. Bhastrika Pranayama (Bellows Breath)

Find a comfortable sitting position. Close the right nostril with your right thumb with proper posture and relaxed muscles. Your right elbow should be at the same level of the right shoulder. Close your eyes and inhale and exhale through the left nostril. Start slowly, then increase the pace, mimicking the bellows. Do this 20-25 times and then release the right nostril. Take a long deep breath and retain it for as long as possible and then slowly exhale. Repeat on the right side.

When someone gives us the advice to take break for some fresh air, it seems so simple. And it can be. Commit to ten minutes a day, whether you need to relax or not, and watch the positive effects unfold. Learning to breathe to serve our bodies and our minds takes only a few minutes a day and will deliver benefits over a lifetime.

6 Signs You’ve Found the One

November 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Fleeting relationships can be here one day and gone the next, but there’s nothing quite like being intertwined with someone who leaves an everlasting imprint on your soul. Everyone wants to find the one. The one that will make them happy for the rest of their lives. Many people chase after it. But how can you tell which relationships will truly make a soulful impact in your life? And is there only ONE life mate for you out there?

Many people believe that we don’t choose our partners and that destiny puts us together. Whether that’s true or not, it’s important to know if the person you’re in a relationship with truly has the potential to warm your heart forever. To gain a clearer vision when seeking “the one”, these ten things should not go unnoticed:

6 Signs You’ve Found “The One”

1. They support your aspirations

Support from your significant other is vital. So the one who loves you forever should be able to provide this at all times, in all situations. They will help uplift you, stay aware of your emotions, and help pick you up when you’re feeling down.

Of all people, the one person who touches your soul will know your vulnerabilities, and much like the ancient art of Kintsugi, that person will help fill your cracks and make you stronger than ever before.

2. The One sparks passion in you

When someone inspires you to bring out your best self and create from your heart, there’s a good chance they could be a soul mate. This person will not suppress or distract you from your inner desires but rather act as a catalyst to help you propel into the life you’ve always dreamed of.

You and your soul mate have the potential to become the best versions of yourselves, giving way to growth that you’ve only imagined. They know the importance of seeing you fully live (not just exist) as your best self and will take the positive steps necessary to help you see your passion come to life.

3. You communicate comfortably with The One

You can be confident that you may have found the one when your words towards each other are kind and loving (more often than not). Of course, you’ll have your ups and downs, but if kind communication is consistent, you have a winning formula. You also know that you can tell your partner ANYTHING without being judged or criticized.

Likewise, you can be honest and expect understanding and love. If you feel like you cannot be open and honest, even during a moment of “human error”, that’s a sign of someone who may not match your energy.

4. They truly appreciate your affection

In the right relationship, it’s important to make all the non-physical connections, such as comfortable communication, similar interests, etc. But there’s no denying the powerful energy produced when you physically connect with that special person. Just a single touch can send chills through your body. They want to give and receive these things consistently.

Your soul mate will NOT simply “get what they want and be done with you.”

But rather enjoy every moment of passion with you – every step leading up to it and every step leading down from it.

5. The One (always) think you’re irresistible

The person who makes you blush, no matter what time of day or year, is surely a soul mate in the making. A soul mate type of relationship looks past imperfections, messy hair, wrinkles, and little behaviors that may be considered “less than savory” by others.

Even when you don’t necessarily see your radiance, your soul mate will. Your special someone doesn’t need to see you in your best dress to be enamored by your beauty.

6. They are trustworthy and loyal

With life’s negative temptations, it’s no wonder why breakups and divorce rates are at an all-time high. It can be hard to stay confident that “The One” can be trusted. But trust is a must, and finding your soul mate requires you to open up to an even higher level of trust.

These high levels of trust may seem high-risk for you. But you can be assured that your soul mate will not abuse the freedoms of your relationship. Indeed, they will show an equal level of trust and openness without trying to “keep up” with your level of effort.

The one you know is right will also be willing to remain by your side, even when you aren’t in a “season of harvest.” When you finally connect with the right person, a union goes far beyond any superficial situation.

Add to the discussion: What signs have you seen that led you to find “the one”?

10 Things To Never Do When You’re Angry

November 7, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred,” ~ Thomas Jefferson

When we are angry, more than our mood is affected. It can influence our decisions, our actions and our ability to do simple things. It’s probably obvious that we don’t want anger to be the driving force behind our choices, yet that’s what we tend to do. What’s more, our anger doesn’t just impact us, it impacts everyone around us, creating a ripple effect.

We have three choices when it comes to dealing with our anger. We can:

Hide it
Express it
Let it go

And while we’re working through our anger, it’s important to approach it the right way. That means stepping back from some of our daily routines and rethinking our approach.

10 Things You Should Never Do When You’re Angry

1. Hide it.

Hiding our anger is often encouraged and is certainly easier than dealing with it. The evidence, however, says that hiding anger can affect our health. Studies show that holding on to anger can increase the risk of heart disease and impact our overall health. Just because hiding it is bad, doesn’t mean you should put your anger on display. Instead of reacting in the moment, find a way to work through your anger respectfully and thoughtfully.

2. Go to sleep while you’re still angry.

To be thoughtful in our response to a heated situation, we may think “sleeping on it” is a good strategy. Well, it seems the age-old advice of “never going to be angry” is what’s best. Going to sleep with the feelings of anger burning strong will only reinforce those feelings making them even more pronounced in the morning.

3. Go for a drive.

Choose to travel on foot and stay out of the car whenever possible. When we are angry, our ability to focus and concentrate is diminished, which could lead to poor judgment on the roadways. The plus side of walking is that any form of physical exercise is a good approach to dealing with anger.

4. Shout it from the rooftops.

We all need to vent from time to time, but it might not have a positive effect. “Venting may make you feel different at the moment, but the change in an emotional state doesn’t necessarily feel better; it may just feel less bad,” says University of Arkansas psychology professor Jeffrey Lohr. Venting may make us feel better, but it isn’t addressing the problem. Don’t call, text, or discuss your relationship problems with any third party.

5. Keep arguing.

When angry, it’s hard to present our side of the story with rational and thoughtful points. We often result in saying things we’ll regret down the road. Listen and then allow yourself to take leave of the argument to process the event. Leaving the argument doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s important that we prepare ourselves to revisit it with the right intentions and in a better frame of mind.

6. Air your grievances on social media.

When we post our arguments on social media, we can’t take them back. Just like arguing in the heat of the moment can lead to regret, so can posting on Facebook. Yes, you can delete it, but once it’s out there, it’s out there.

7. Email the person you’re angry at.

You can’t take back an email sent like posting on social media. While writing and journaling are great ways of dealing and processing anger, sending those thoughts are a bad idea. Write the email and then delete or save it. Whatever we do, we shouldn’t send it. We can always revisit the email once our emotions are under control.

8. Resort to drugs and/or alcohol.

Alcohol is a depressant, and adding a depressant to a depressing mood is a recipe for disaster. Alcohol impedes our judgment and lowers the natural restraint mechanisms that prevent us from doing dumb things. This state of mind can lead to doing and saying things returning to haunt us.

9. Dwell on it.

When we dwell on something that makes us angry, it can spiral out of control. Overthinking the situation can lead to blowing it out of proportion and creating more points of contention. Instead of dwelling on the situation, try having a direct and respectful conversation with the person involved.

10. Reach for food.

Emotional eating is never good. When we are in a crisis, we aren’t usually reaching for carrot sticks. Instead, we find ourselves reaching for foods that bring us comfort. Eating poorly during an emotional state can lead to a compromised immune system. Eating mindfully is never more important than when we are dealing with anger.

24 Ways To Find More Hours In A Day

November 6, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Our lives are busy, and overscheduled and there is never enough time in the day to get what we need done, done. So many of us struggle with two or more jobs, running kids from one activity to another, and just trying to fit it all in. Wouldn’t it be nice to find some extra time?

Since adding hours to the day won’t happen anytime soon, it’s time to try some strategies to get our time back.

24 Ways to Find More Hours In A Day

1. Say no more often.

Finding more time might come down to saying no to things that don’t lend value. It’s up to us to stop the automatic yes and start being more protective of our schedule.

2. Identify time wasters.

In a day where binge-watching entire seasons of television shows is a thing, identifying time wasters can add many hours to a day. In addition to TV, look at the internet, social media, and game habits.

3. Find the priorities of each day.

Knowing our priorities makes it easy to identify and eliminate those activities that aren’t.

4. Pad the schedule.

It’s easy to fill a daily schedule with work activities, household chores, and errands. A full schedule doesn’t allow for unexpected challenges without disrupting the day. Padding the time needed for each event allows the unexpected to happen and keeps everything running smoothly.

5. Combine and consolidate.

Evaluate your weekly schedule and find places to combine and consolidate your to-do list. Instead of running errands throughout the week, take an afternoon and do it all at once. Or, instead of tackling emails as they arrive, set a time to answer them in batches. Consolidate and become more efficient while saving time.

6. Eliminate or shorten meeting times.

While not possible for everyone, minimizing meeting times or, at the very least, making them more efficient will add valuable time to the day.

7. Change your routine.

Habits keep us going most of the time, but it’s possible to grow out of a routine. Create a more efficient one.

8. Phone more.

Email and texting have become the norm for communication, but so much gets lost in translation. A 2-minute phone conversation is more efficient than a chain of ten emails trying to clarify a problem.

9. Use email more efficiently.

If email is necessary, use it wisely. Send it only to the people that need it, and keep one thought per email. It will help keep things clear and concise.

10. Shorten your to-do list.

Sometimes our to-do lists are so long it’s impossible to complete. And in trying to complete them, we focus more on crossing things off. Which means we can overlook the most important items. Try making a to-do list of the three biggest priorities for the day.

11. Start big.

Tackle the biggest task first. We often procrastinate our time away, trying to avoid things that will take a lot of time or are more difficult. By crossing them off the to-do list first, our day will be easier as we go, and as a bonus, we’ll feel more accomplished

12. Delegate or outsource.

For some reason, we get it into our minds that we must do everything ourselves. The reality is, we should be spending time on the things we enjoy and that are in our area of expertise. Delegate or outsource everything else when possible.

13. Disconnect.

Simply disconnecting every day will give us time back. It’s addicting and a huge time drain when we are connected to our computers, phones, tablets and other devices all day long. Disconnect and bring some quiet and calm back to the day.

14. Shut the door.

Eliminate distractions by shutting the door and focusing on the task at hand. It takes much longer to complete a task when we are constantly being interrupted by visitors, the phone, email notifications, and open browser tabs. Close them all down and do the work.

15. Keep a clean workspace.

Spending time finding a file and locating notes make it hard to be efficient. Create a place for everything and put everything in its place.

16. Reclaim bridge time.

Bridge time is the time spent between appointments. It’s too little to start something new, and too much to just let it pass. Use this time to return calls, emails, manage files, or shred. This is a great time to do some small tasks that never seem to get done.

17. Get proper sleep.

It’s hard to be efficient and productive when we are tired and lack focus. Getting the proper rest will allow us to work smarter, giving us back lost time.

18. Become a morning person.

Morning hours are the most productive, provided we heed the number 17 above. Becoming a morning person allows us to get more done earlier in the day, giving us a more leisurely and less hectic afternoon and evening when fatigue usually sets in.

19. Handle things once.

Take instant action on tasks that take less than two minutes. Things like opening mail, paperwork, email, and voicemail. Read, answer, delete, and file. It’s surprising how much time will be added back into the day when you aren’t visiting something more than once.

20. Remember the value of your time.

Time is something you can never get back – once it’s gone, it’s gone. Imagine that 1 dollar goes into your pocket for every minute that passes. That’s 1,440 dollars per day. Would you want to miss, or waste the opportunity for any of these resources that could be used? Think of your time in this fashion and you’re guaranteed to value it more.

21. Repeat Affirmations

Some people say that things are “more easier said than done”. We truly believe that when things are more often said, they become done much easier. You will surely find “free time” coming out of the woodwork when you repeat positive affirmations and put a positive association with time. Try repeating these affirmations daily:

I make the best of my time because it is truly valuable!

I am efficient. Time is on MY side!

Every precious second of my time is dedicated to thinking, feeling and doing my best!

I can accomplish all of my daily tasks. I am prosperous in time!

22. Remember that no matter what time it is, it is always NOW.

No matter what time it is, how much time you have left, or how much time there is to go, it is always happening NOW. You can’t go back, and you can’t leap forward – the time you have is always the present moment. When you learn to live in a present presence, you’ll quickly see that you can only manage this very moment. Digest this knowledge, and you’ll see a laser sharp focus come into view.

23. Stop multitasking

Physiologically, the human brain is not designed to process more than one thing simultaneously. Actually, to be more specific, the human brain is incapable of effectively handling more than one task. What is taking place is the “switching” of one task to another. In other words, there is no “multi” anything going on. This switching from one task to another is harmful to the brain’s natural makeup.

24. Remember that you have as much time as anyone else.

What do Bill Gates, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla, and every other epic person who ever lived all have in common? They all had the same amount of time to get things done. Realizing that you’ve got the same amount of time as the people who get the biggest and most things done will help put into perspective that everyone has the same 24 hours, they use their time well.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!