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7 Ways To Respond To People Who Gossip

June 14, 2016 by Power of Positivity

People who gossip are like people who don’t know how to care about others’ feelings, but the good news is that there are at least 7 ways to respond to them. According to Yale University researcher, we spend at least 60% of our adult conversations talking about people who are not with us at the time.

Spending time pointing out others’ flaws when they aren’t there to defend themselves is not a positive way to have a conversation. Rather than wasting time on negative talk, let’s look at some ways that you can respond to people who gossip.

7 Ways to Respond to People Who Gossip

Gossipers are people who do not have the best interests of others at heart. They say the mean things that no one else will say. The hurt they inflict is often unknown by the object of their gossip but it hurts the rest of us who hear it.

Gossip is a negative conversation, usually with bad intentions, that is spread by others and it is a source of much hatred in our society. When we gossip about others, we belittle their worth to increase our own. Speaking at the expense of our fellow man only makes the people who gossip look smaller in our eyes.

Talking about others is not always gossip, but when the talk turns negative, look for ways to bring it back to a positive focus that is not belittling to others.

1. Talk about your openness to people from diverse backgrounds

Yale researchers believe that gossip may serve a function for us socially. We hear tales about other people and their struggles and by hearing these stories, we learn about what types of behavior are acceptable, and what types of behavior are not acceptable to those in our social groups.

When you deal with a gossiper, rather than continuing to pile on to the conversation about someone’s bad points, let the gossiper know that you are very accepting of others, no matter their appearance, or whatever the gossip was commenting on. Talk about the skills and abilities of the person who is being gossiped about.

2. Boost the self-esteem of the gossip with something you like about them

People who gossip may talk badly about others because they lack self-esteem or self-worth. People who gossip say bad things about other people to make themselves feel better by comparison.

Remind the person who is gossiping about something good that they did for another person. This will remind them of their kind heart and to make them feel better about themselves. The positive shift in perspective could be enough of a change in how they feel about themselves to get them to stop gossiping.

3. Talk about cultural differences

When a person gossips about someone from another culture, it may be because they do not understand their customs. Not understanding leads to curiosity, but that level of interest can just as easily be misplaced by gossip, which includes negative statements about the other person. Gossip can easily turn into racist remarks when you use negative statements about the person’s heritage.

One effective way to respond to people who gossip in this way is to point out other cultural differences that you are aware of and which are positive. Remind the gossiper about the diverse world that they are a part of where we have pizza, tacos, hummus, hamburgers, and latkes all peacefully coexisting.

4. Say how it makes you feel

Even researchers disagree on definitions for gossip. Mostly they have come to the conclusion that we know it when we hear it. A Yale University review said ‘when gossip occurs within conversations, it is often very subtle, sometimes too subtle for an outside observer, such as a researcher, to decode.’ Much of gossip involves inside jokes or small details of expected behavior that go unnoticed by others. No wonder it is hard to study.

But we know how gossip makes us feel when we hear it. Maybe you feel a thrill at the thought of a secret being revealed to you about another person, or maybe you feel uncomfortable when the person who is gossiping tells you something negative about the other person.

5. Avoid having a conversation that includes gossip

‘You know, I’d love to chat but…’ might be the easiest way to respond to people who gossip. By avoiding them, you leave them without an ear to hear their negativity.

6. Confront the gossip

Another more direct way that you can respond to people who gossip is to say, ‘This conversation is starting to feel like gossip to me, which makes me uncomfortable, so let’s talk about something else.’

7. Turn the gossip into hope and help

A gossiper will tell you something horrible about another person and you can respond by saying ‘I hope you might be willing to help them feel more included in our community. What do you think you are willing to do to help?’

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Buying This ONE Thing Will Make You Happier Than Anything Else

June 14, 2016 by Power of Positivity

In life, we all just want more happiness at the end of the day. However, we struggle to find it (or create it) in many cases. What does it take to become happier? Should we buy a bigger TV, house, or car to fulfill our needs? Or, should we spend our hard-earned money on a vacation instead?

Logically, the material possessions make more sense to buy. After all, we can go out and buy it today, and it should last us a while. With the vacation, we have to wait months to obtain it, and we don’t get to experience it for very long. After the trip, we will have some pictures and souvenirs to show for it, but other than that, our memories will have to do.

Most people would choose material possessions over the trip, because they see them as having a higher value than the vacation. After all, you get to experience it for a longer period of time, and you can obtain it relatively easily. However, science says that our assumptions about what will make us truly happy have been dead wrong.

“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation,” Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, told Fast Company. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed, but only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.”

Buying This ONE Thing Will Make You Happier Than Anything Else

While money can make us happy to a certain extent, it doesn’t have much effect on us after we have our basic needs met. However, how we choose to spend our disposable income can make a huge difference in our happiness levels.

After studying what makes people happy for over 20 years, Gilovich discovered that using our money to buy experiences, such as travel, concerts, movies, and classes, will make us happier than buying material items.

Sure, the new car or iPhone might bring us happiness temporarily, but that quickly wears off the longer we use the gadget.

For one of his many studies, Gilovich asked people to rate their happiness in regards to both material items and experiences. Initially, they rated them about the same. However, over time, they reported less satisfaction with material items, and MORE satisfaction with experiences.

Gilovich explains the reasoning behind this: we hold experiences closer to our hearts than material items.

“Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods,” says Gilovich. “You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”

Even negative experiences can give us satisfaction over time, even more than material goods.

Gilovich found that people became happier after talking about negative experiences, even when the experience conversely affected their happiness. Why? Because even the most unsatisfactory of experiences can build one’s character or turn into a funny story or memory, he says.

Also, we feel more connected to people based on shared experiences rather than shared items. Why? Simply because experiences create less jealousy and separation, and bring us together more than possessions. We get more excited talking about a trip we took to Central America rather than our new TV, especially if others can relate.

“It certainly bothers us if we’re on a vacation and see people staying in a better hotel or flying first-class, but it doesn’t produce as much envy as when we’re outgunned on material goods,” Gilovich said.

Also, the act of waiting for a future event can bring us just as much happiness as looking back on a past one.

While both material items and experiences can result in anticipation, you already know pretty much what you’ll get with the possession. However, in regards to the experience, there’s much more mystery and excitement surrounding something totally new and unknown.

“You can think about waiting for a delicious meal at a nice restaurant or looking forward to a vacation and how different that feels from waiting for, say, your pre-ordered iPhone to arrive. Or when the two-day shipping on Amazon Prime doesn’t seem fast enough,” Amit Kumar, one of Gilovich’s colleagues, told The Atlantic.

Finally, the researchers found that just waiting in line for an experience provides much more happiness than awaiting a possession.

Why? Well, for starters, the excitement and possibilities surrounding an experience bring far more happiness than material goods, but also, experiences involve much less competition than possessions. Let’s look at what happens on any given Black Friday, for example.

“You sometimes hear stories about people rioting, smashing windows, pepper-spraying one another, or otherwise treating others badly when they have to wait,” Kumar said in a news release.

“Our work shows that this kind of behavior is much more likely in instances where people are waiting to acquire a possession than when they’re waiting for tickets to a performance or to taste the offerings at their city’s newest food truck.”

In addition to increasing happiness, the researchers have found that spending money on experiences makes people more social. The research Gilovich and his colleagues have done could affect not only personal spending, but also how state and federal governments spend their money.

“Our research is important to society because it suggests that overall well-being can be advanced by providing an infrastructure that affords experiences — such as parks, trails, beaches — as much as it does material consumption,” Gilovich said.

Another study performed by researchers in California had similar findings. One of the researchers in the study, San Francisco State University Associate Professor of Psychology Ryan Howell, reported this about interviewing study participants before and after making a purchase:

“Prior to the purchase, respondents said they believed a life experience would make them happier but a material item would be a better use of their money. After the purchase, however, respondents reported that life experiences not only made them happier but were also the better value.”

In this study, however, researchers found that experiential purchasing relates in part to one’s sensitivity to rewards, emotional connection to events, and perception and appreciation of the world’s beauty. While experiences may affect each person differently, at the end of the day, most people will feel happier by purchasing something to do rather than something to collect and store on a shelf.

At the end of our lives, we won’t look back on how many cars or homes we purchased, how much money we had left in our bank, or what size TV we had. We will think back on the people who touched our hearts, who we got to share invaluable experiences with that changed us forever, and the beautiful places on this Earth we got to explore with them.

It might seem tempting to compare yourself to others who seem to have more material items than you, and feel jealous of them, but remember that you don’t own the stuff; it ends up owning you. Any big ticket item you buy means lots of debt you’ll have to pay back, which equates to added stress and strained finances. Of course, an experience can cost a lot if you choose, but at least you will have made memories and possibly new friends in the process.

In short, material objects build our egos, but experiences build our character. Which one sounds more important and more likely to make you happy?

The next time you get paid, consciously think about where you’d like your money to go before you blow it all on a big ticket item that will just sit in your house and lose value. An experience will sit in your heart for years to come, making you feel more connected to yourself and others, and most of all, happy. We all deserve happiness, and now that we can prove where it comes from, hopefully more people will rush out to buy a skydiving session or excursions in foreign countries rather than a mansion or the latest iPhone.

Remember, you don’t get to go back in time and redo the choices you made, so commit to living in the present and doing things that truly make you happy.

https://youtu.be/r227riVSmUE

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

What Does Your Birth Generation Reveal About Your Personality?

June 14, 2016 by Chris Butler

Many things affect one’s personality. But did you know that your birth generation also says a lot about your characteristics and tendencies?

For example, multiple studies done on people born in Generation Y have found them to require more “me” time and flexibility on the job and put more emphasis on extrinsic rather than intrinsic values. While many regard them as narcissistic, lazy, and unproductive, others see them positively. Other words and phrases to describe people from this generation include “upbeat, liberal, open to new ways of living, and open-minded.”

No matter your opinion on this generation, people born between 1981-2000 have certain characteristics that, in some ways, define them. In the same way, other generations have traits that also describe the group as a whole. To find out what your generation of birth says about you, keep reading below.

What Does Your Generation of Birth Reveal About Your Personality?

Traditionalists (1900-1945)

People born during this period may have experienced much hardship growing up due to the Great Depression and World Wars I and II. However, they later relished their prosperity. They value family and community and believe in hard work, respecting authority, and doing a good job no matter what.

Core values:

Adhering to rules, conforming, contributing to society positively, dedicated, delayed rewards, discipline, don’t question authority, duty before pleasure, family, giving back to the world, hard work, following the law, loyalty, patriotism, patience, respecting elders and authority, responsibility, saving money, stable living, trust in government

Attributes:

Committed, competent, confident, conservative, dedicated, making the most of the situation, ethical, frugal, hard work, value history, honor, linear thinking and working, loyal to company and duty, patriotic, organized, respecting authority, following rules, sacrifice, strong work ethic, task-oriented, thrifty, saving money, trusting hierarchy

Baby Boomers (1946 – 1964)

People born during this time believed wholeheartedly in “The American Dream,” and wanted to work hard to achieve their goals. Many saw them as greedy, ambitious, and materialistic. WWII influenced their beliefs and values and made them more skeptical of blindly following authority.

Core values:

Anti-war, anti-government, anything is possible, equal rights and opportunities, loyal to family, involved in the community, optimistic, personal gratification, personal growth, question authority, spend generously, don’t think about the future, teamwork, transformational, don’t trust authority, youth, work, make a difference

Attributes:

Able to handle a crisis, ambitious, anti-establishment, challenge authority, competent, competitive, consensus leadership, consumerism, ethical, great communication, idealist, loyal to career and employer, most educated generation thus far, multi-tasking, rebellious, life/work balance, optimistic, politically correct, strong work ethic, responsible

Generation X (1965 – 1980)

This generation grew up amid hard times. That’s because they were the first generation NOT to do as well financially as their parents did. They also had to watch many political scandals unfold, and financial crises arise, and they usually grew up in a household where both parents worked. They questioned authority and governments more than any previous generation.

Core values:

Balance, diversity, entrepreneurial, fun, highly educated, high career expectations, independent, informal, no loyalty to companies or workplace, pragmatic, self-reliant, skeptical, cynical, non-conformity, technologically literate, global thinking

Attributes:

Adaptable, angry for no reason, anti-establishment, anti-government, anti-corporations, the big gap with baby boomers, can-d0 attitude, make a difference in the world, independent, confident, competent, flexible, ethical, focus on results, free agents, the highest amount of divorced parents, brand loyalty, ignore leadership, self-reliant, self-starters, pampered, results-driven, entitled, not impressed by authority, willing to take on responsibilities, flexible work/life balance, willing to work hard

Millennials (1981- 2000)

Much negativity exists in the world in regard to this generation. But they have grown up in turbulent times (ex. 9/11, The Great Recession, school shootings, etc). The greatest technological expansion happened during their childhood, which shaped their future and ways of looking at the world. Their parents sheltered them greatly from the evils of the world. This generation wants to make a big difference as they see how many things need fixing in our world today.

Core values:

Achievement, consumerism, civic duty, confidence, fun, high morals, tolerant, competitive, enjoy self-promotion and attention, self-confident, sociable, globally conscious, most educated generation, techno-savvy, spiritual, instant gratification, wanting more from life, realists, street smart, optimistic

Attributes: ambitious but scatterbrained, look to the workplace for direction in life, teamwork, attached to personal items and gadgets, sheltered by parents, well-educated, confident, diverse, multicultural, the computer age, techno-savvy, fiercely independent, family-focused, wanting to change the world, scheduled life, globalism, seeking out fun experiences, short attention span, politically savvy, optimistic, “me first” attitude, self-absorbed, digital generation, open to new ideas, sociable, makes friends easily, consider parents as heroes, innovative, patriotic, non-conformists, question authority, free-spirited, question everything, entitled

Generation Z (1997-2012)

Generation Z is the most tech-savvy of any generation. Their world has always included computers and smartphones. They cut their teeth on social media sites, spending time on a personal screen since they were old enough to hold a device. They’re multi-taskers, able to switch back and forth between apps to watching movies to sending a quick text to their friends while doing their homework. Interestingly, their ability to do this has resulted in them having shorter attention spans than Millenials.

Diversity is important to Gen Z, and they have little patience for race, sexual orientation, or gender inequality. They’re activists pushing for justice and social equality, similar to the Boomer generation. Generation Z struggles more with mental health problems than prior generations. Many in this group say they struggle with moderate stress, anxiety, and depression. Some say that FOMO (fear of missing out) heightened by social media contributes to this generation’s stress.

Generation Z individuals are products of the post 9-11 world, political polarization, foreign wars, and economic erratic changes. They see negativity, failures of former heroes, and idolized figures fall, scandals erupt within the church, public and private schools, and the legal system. Their world has never felt safe.

On the other hand, they saw a tremendous change. They saw the swearing-in of the first African American president and the legalization of gay marriage. Their parents used technology to track them and their academic progress without seeing actual papers. It’s no wonder this generation is skeptical of authority and established traditions.

Gen Z students prefer a do-it-yourself (DIY) style of learning because they have multiple places where they can get their information. Information is just one hyperlink away for them. But this makes it harder for this generation to distinguish facts from online opinions.

Core values:

Generation Z’s characteristics: are hardworking, value social equality and justice, independence, value authenticity. They’re pragmatic, less apt to take risks, especially financially, entrepreneurial, enjoy being with people, and are competitive. Genz likes change and wants to be heard by others. They’re inclusive of others, super health-conscious activists, and extremely private. This generation is a more diverse group of people. More plans to enroll in college than any other generation. But they also say they are lonely more than any other generation. When asked, a Gen Z individual says climate change is the number one problem they want to fix.

Other names for Generation Z:

iGeneration, Homeland Generation, Net Gen, Digital Natives, Neo-Digital Natives, Pluralistic Generation, Internet Generation, Centennials, Zoomers, or Post-Millennials.

Final Thoughts on How Your Birth Generation Impacts Your Personality

Everyone worries about whether the next generation will do a good job of caring and contributing to the world.

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Cancer

June 13, 2016 by Power of Positivity

For having the sign with the worst name in all of astrology, only a Cancer will understand that being born under the astrological sign with the same name as a scary disease kind of suits us.

Cancerians do have an awful lot of fears and anxieties anyway, so hearing our sign’s name all over the news in connection with the latest developments in chemotherapy is pretty on par for how Cancer feels a lot of the time. If scared-anxious-worried-frustrated was a word, it might sum up Cancer’s generally shellfish worldview. Let’s look at 10 other things that you’ll only understand if you’re a Cancer.

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Cancer

The research on how we use zodiac love sign compatibility to choose a mate seems to point to astrology being most useful for knowing oneself and also for finding someone who has a compatible personality. Researchers find a general lack of significant data to show that either marriage or divorce is affected by choosing a partner with a compatible or incompatible zodiac sign, but there is a slight difference for marriage success. Cancer’s most compatible partner matches are Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, and Cancer.

1. Cancer gets awfully tired of being called a crab

People who clearly do not understand your sign often accuse Cancerians of being crabby, but you just don’t see yourself that way. You might make frequent suggestions that people do things differently, but you’re not nitpicking or micromanaging, you just know how to do it better and are trying to show them.

2. People want to cry on a Cancer’s shoulder, but you need the tissues instead

As a water sign, with the Moon as your ruling celestial body, Cancer unfortunately has a whole lot of experience with the salt water of tears. It’s just because you are so emotional yourself, but also because you make such a good listener. Everyone else wants to pour out their hear to Cancer’s excellent ears.

3. Your friends have given up asking you to go out, and you are just fine with that

Cancer is a homebody, and if your friends aren’t, they have tried to drag you away to social gatherings several times but you resist with all the strength that you have in your sturdy claws. No thank you and do you even know Cancer?

4. Your patience is nonexistent

If Cancer has something to tell you, you will hear it now, but in a very passive-aggressive way. If they need something, they need it now. And if they love something, they must share it with you now. Patience is not something you’ll understand if you’re a Cancer.

5. Cancer can be fun, said no one ever

If your friends would only catch you on a full moon Friday or Saturday night, you are much more likely to suggest a fun night out for just your three best friends. Well, maybe just your one friend to start out with.

6. Cancer is not good at letting things go

Only a Cancerian will understand that everything you said, how you said it, what you were wearing when you said it, and the look on your face is permanently burned on our brains and can be repeated back to you. The crab can hang on to a grudge like it’s the shell they carry around with them.

7. Love is the only thing keeping you happy

Cancerians are emotional, and mostly have negative emotions like anxiety, frustration, and disappointment. Cancer will hold on to the hurt of a breakup for a long time, but they also have so much love to give and are excellent at maintaining a long-term relationship. The love that Cancer has for their few close friends and family is the bond that holds their fragile shell together, which is something you’ll only understand if you’re a Cancer.

8. You have to earn the trust of Cancer

You are so loyal to your friends that you’ll only understand that the friend-selection process can be daunting for a Cancer. There’s the initial gut feeling meeting, then the sizing you up part of the process, over-analyzing your every inflection and gesture, computing your trustworthiness factor and, of course, your lifetime of behavior to consider. This may take a while.

9. Are you the only one working around here?

Only Cancer will understand that sometimes being such a motivated, hard-worker means that everyone else looks like a slacker by comparison. Unfortunately for Cancer, you feel resentful that others don’t step up like you do.

10. You’ll only understand selective generosity if you’re a Cancer

Cancer will give and give because they love being generous. But you may not ever borrow our own personal stuff because it was carefully selected especially for our very particular needs. Touch it and die, but let me buy you lunch instead.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

If You See Someone Wearing This Small Black Circle, This Is What It Means

June 13, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Unfortunately, domestic violence and sexual crimes happen to many men and women across the globe daily. Many women worry about going out alone at night and carrying protective items such as mace or a whistle to prevent someone from harming them. We would like to think that no harm will ever befall us. But truthfully, everyone should take preventive measures against sexual crimes. While in an ideal world, we wouldn’t have to worry about such things and we really shouldn’t have to, carrying around something that will protect you from a possible crime can make the difference between life and death in some cases.

To give an example of the seriousness of this problem, the Boston Globe reported on “forcible sex offenses” at large universities between 2012 and 2013. They found that sexual assaults had increased by 40% in just one year. While this may sound alarming, the solution presented in this article to combat sexual violence will hopefully provide you with some comfort and help you to keep yourself safe.

If You See Someone Wearing This Small Black Circle, This Is What It Means

Because of the increasing number of sexual assaults worldwide, Yasmin Mustafa and Anthony Gold founded a company called ROAR with the mission to end sexual crimes against women by arming them. However, they did not equip them with guns or other dangerous weapons. While many women have used mace or worn whistles traditionally, this device that ROAR created can go one step further in preventing attacks. They designed an emergency alert device, which they named “Athena” after the Greek goddess of strength and justice, that women can wear as a fashionable necklace.

How does it work? Women simply hold down the button on the necklace for three seconds, at which point an alarm will sound. Simultaneously, it sends a text message to loved ones in order to inform them of the wearer’s location, as well as an option to call the woman or 911 with one simple click.

Finally, a device that truly empowers women (and men) worldwide and makes them feel safe and protected. From looking at it, it really just resembles a fashionable necklace. So it’s discreet enough that an attacker won’t even notice it disguises an alert system. We hope that this genius device will go a long way in protecting people worldwide from domestic violence and sexual crimes. The Athena necklace doesn’t take up much space and actually looks quite fashionable. The company recommends that women especially, from middle school age and up, should wear the necklace.

Keep these violence prevention safety tips in mind as well:

1. Pay attention to your surroundings, including your location and who is in your immediate area. Don’t get lost in your cell phone while walking.

2. If you go somewhere alone, make sure to have your phone in your hand with 911 ready to go. Walk to your car with your keys in your hand, look around, check underneath the car, get in, and promptly leave.

3. If you see a suspicious-looking vehicle parked next to your car with people just sitting in it, get in on the passenger side.

4. If you walk to your car and notice a flat tire, go back into where you came from and wait for help inside.

5. When you go out and must reveal personal information (ex. at a hotel, pharmacy, or bank), lower your voice and pay attention to your surroundings.

6. Pour your own drinks at parties. If you go to a bar, keep your drink with you at all times, or ask a trusted friend or family member to watch it for you.

7. Stay in a group when you go out to a bar or club.

8. If you need to, use your elbow to defend yourself – it’s one of the strongest parts of your body!

9. If you do get attacked, fight back with all your power, and scream for help. Do not give up.

10. Simply use caution and common sense to prevent violence. If someone asks to borrow your cell phone or asks you for directions, use your best judgment in the situation.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs You Have An Intimidating Personality

June 12, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Some people have a naturally intimidating, strong personality.

“I know I have great inner strength … I can blank things out, cut people out, and I know that I can go and live in a cave on my own if necessary.” – Charlotte Rampling

If you’ve never heard of Ms. Rampling, she’s a prolific English actress. She has enjoyed a successful career as an actress and model for over 50 years. She’s also an exceptional figure that segues into a discussion on inner strength – an aspect of the personality some consider intimidating.

Charlotte Rampling’s life off the screen and out of the public eye could be what demonstrates her exceptional character. Divorced twice, she raised two sons on her own. After finding love and staying in a relationship for over seventeen years, her partner passed away unexpectedly in 2015. She showed tremendous strength in admitting her battle with depression.

Those who know Ms. Rampling attest to her tremendous strength. What is it, exactly, that makes a strong or “intimidating” personality? From how some of us converse to creating opportunities where others may see impossibility, a common set of attributes can determine the strength of a personality.

Here are 5 signs you have an intimidating personality:

1. Simplistic conversations are annoying

It isn’t surprising that strong people detest simple banter. They welcome conversations that invite intellectual curiosity, while they find small talk revolting.

People with strong personalities generally let people know exactly what they think, including their take on irrelevant questions. If dialogue accomplishes little to nothing, they might tune out completely. This is particularly true when they are concentrating on some other important task. Strong personalities simply don’t have the time or inclination to engage in trivial conversations.

Needless to say, small talk is a big part of daily life in America. This is part of the reason that those who are repulsed by it can been seen as intimidating.

2. Ignorant attitudes are repulsive

Generally speaking, strong people are well (often self) educated. They possess a wide breadth of knowledge. This open-minded attitude often invites curiosity and promotes acceptance. They strive to learn as much as possible, and are willing to maintain an open mind to the differences of others. At the same time, strong people rarely accept ignorant attitudes in others.

The strong among us dislike judgmental or artificial comments and behaviors. They acquire knowledge in order to understand people and the world on a deeper level, and are irked by those who do not. Most notably, these people don’t require the consensus of others to determine whether or not their outlook is valid.

3. Opportunities are forcefully created

Strong people have a way of making opportunities without needing much assistance from others. This tremendous work ethic can intimidate the less motivated, which can invite hostility. Whether or not they’re viewed as intimidating for being ambitious is irrelevant to strong people. The hostile attitudes of those around them, even more. Strong individuals are willing to recognize and work towards opportunities where others may not. They make no apologies for this.

4. Others’ attention is not important

In a society that craves attention, strong people couldn’t care less. While their strength of character may invite attention – positive or negative – from the people around them, strong personalities rarely notice. They won’t spend precious time and effort seeking attention. Instead, strong people simply do what needs to be done. These folks are happy and secure without attention. They epitomize the old axiom, “Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

5. Excuses are not acceptable

Strong people forge ahead – regardless of the fallout. It’s no surprise that people who waste time whining and complaining about trivialities fail to interest them. When a problem arises, someone with a strong personality will simply focus on fixing it. Why agonize over a problem or situation one cannot control? As those who continuously strive to do their best, they quickly turn away those who try to use them as a sounding board for meaningless complaints and pointless banter.

5 Reasons People Fall In Love

June 12, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Love is intoxicating. It makes the world go round. It’s euphoric, magical, and addictive. In all its glory, it takes over and consumes us. Love forces us to see life differently and we react in a manner that’s joyous. Even when we are heartbroken, hurt beyond words, have endured betrayal and loss, we still crave to fall in love. Poets, writers, artists, musicians, and other creative forces thrive on the subject of falling in love. In the mystical ancient words of Rumi: “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” So what drives us to fall in love? What allows us to give it another try even when the falling has hurt us deeply?

Here are five reasons people fall in love:

1. Love makes us whole.

The Greek philosopher, Plato, shared in The Symposium that, “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” So it is possible that we are spending our lifetime searching for our other half. When we fall in love, it feels as if we are reuniting with a part of ourselves. We begin to see incredible things because somehow we had been missing them.

2. Love calls us to be the very best version of ourselves.

In an article on PsychologyToday, Mari Buti, describes the phenomenon of romantic love. “I think that love ushers us to frequencies of human life that we might find difficult to access otherwise. It opens to something more transcendent than the ordinary flow of life, summoning us, precisely, to a different (and potentially more interesting) edition of ourselves.” In other words, love lifts us to extreme compassion. We are better because of it. The intensity of feeling love and giving love shapes our personalities to be better humans, elevating us from the mundane to the extraordinary. Nothing is impossible when we are embraced by love’s light.

3. Love diminishes the fear of the world.

When we are in love when feeling like we can conquer anything. We are no longer alone holding on through difficult matters. Having a partner makes things easier. Where there is love there cannot be fear. They cannot live simultaneously. Love is a high vibration frequency. Fear is a lower one. When we fall in love, we let go of anxiety. True love has no limits. In a physiological matter, fear is driven by cortisol which increases depression while love is driven by oxytocin (the love hormone) which reduces stress and fear. Love simply transcends us into another state of spiritual being. The emotions of lust, forgiving, giving, compassion, kindness, empathy, and others, it catapults us to follow our passions.

4. Love infuses our lives with meaning.

We are genetically created to share love. Through love we procreate. We fall in love with our children, our pets, our spouses, our parents, and life. Love gives us meaning. Romantic love energizes us with possibilities, dreams, and the ever knowing that we can conquer anything. Love clears all obstacles while we submit to its mysticism. A life without love is no life worth living. It cures a broken heart. It forces us to give of ourselves when we are lacking strength. It’s more than an emotion. It turns us upside down, right side up, and in circles and all while feeling the power of trust and faith. Love is there for us to give. The only thing it asks of us is to continue exploring it.

5. Love is a drug.

According to psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, also an associate professor of Clinical Experiences at South University in West Palm Beach, the chemical substance such as oxytocin, dopamine and other hormones have been found as key roles in human emotions, experiences, and behaviors associated with love. “Falling in love is associated with increased energy, narrowing of mental focus, sometimes sweaty palms, light-headedness, racing heart, and a lot of positive feelings.” There is a physical component that is addictive to the high that comes from falling in love. We are physically wired to want more of it. We crave it and once we’ve experience it we cannot live without it. At its lowest point, it causes depression, anxiety, and other withdrawal symptoms similar to hard-core drugs.

Throughout the history of time we have pondered on love and why we fall into its enticement. There have been millions of speculations, research, theories, religious and spiritual searches. No one really knows the reason for this absolutely desirable emotion. The only thing we know is that we are created to experience it. It makes our world complete. And, no matter how many times we fall out of love, we still hold on to the possibility of falling in its arms again and again.

“Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.” ~ Jackie Collins

5 Signs of Emotional Suffering

June 12, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Life has a way of changing us with each passing event. We are made stronger because of the struggles. We become resilient because of the lessons. However, there are folks out there who suffer from mental illness and disorders. These people are often discarded. Then there are others who are undergoing tremendous emotional suffering and it’s masked as something else. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, nearly one in every five people (or 42.5 million American adults) suffers from a diagnosable mental health condition. Often close friends or family members do not recognize the changes in behavior until it is too late. Check out the 5 signs that can help determine if your loved one needs help.

5 Signs of Emotional Suffering

1. They have sudden personality changes.

This may come about gradually, but it isn’t until the changes are major that you begin to take notice. Someone who has always been outgoing and positive starts to withdraw in public. This person doesn’t go out much, or interact with others the way they used to. Sudden changes can be triggered by emotional pain. It’s not that they do this purposely. It’s a fight or flight response and they choose to stay away from others. The feeling of dread affects their outlook and they simply cannot connect with other people.

2. They seem angry, agitated, and have emotional mood swings.

This person might have become obsessed with problems and react with agitation. They become anxious around others. They have bursts of mood swings from high to low and will become explosive and irrational. Hurt appears in many forms and anger is just the fuel to get the emotions out. Sleep patterns also change. They either sleep too much, or suffer from insomnia. When there is no relief from the pain, they will reach out to numb it through alcohol, drugs, food, sex or other destructive behaviors. Keep an eye for destructive patterns which can only be hidden for so long. These feelings, like explosive anger, are loud cries for help. Also be sure to notice changes in the body: are they hurting themselves, are they breaking out in hives, is their health deteriorating?

3. They isolate themselves.

Someone who loves to be around others now barricades themselves in their home. They don’t visit anyone and will not go out to gatherings. They might even stop going to work or school. Depression hits with exhaustion and talking becomes too much. Notice if this person starts to dwell and obsess over things. Do they blame themselves for everything? Do they keep talking about past events? Their minds become their biggest and deadliest enemy. They begin to circle out of control. It’s important to redirect their attention with some entertainment.

4. They have poor self-care.

They stop taking care of themselves. This person might also engage in activities of poor judgment. An extreme change in personality can create many levels of self-care. They will stop taking showers, or become radically obsessive about cleanliness. Someone who loves exercise and suddenly stops is also a sign of poor self-care. Exercising becomes a chore. It takes everything in their power to clean house or take showers. They have food all over the place. They either eat too much, or forget to eat at all.

5. They are over-whelmed by circumstances.

This person may seem overcome by helplessness and sadness. They could be suffering from a trauma that is resurfacing or extreme grief. Or they might be experiencing self-worth issues, shame and guilt. They begin to talk about suicide in small passing comments, as they start to believe that life is better without them. Do not take these comments lightly!

These are not attention-seeking gestures. Depression, sadness, grief, loss, and mental disorders are to be taken seriously. Your job is not to fix the problem or try to make the person see things your way. You job is to get them help. It’s important to seek counseling or medical expertise. In an article in PsychCentral, therapist Margarita Tartakovsky shares how to deal with someone who is suffering from depression. These points are also helpful when dealing with any kind of emotional suffering, traumas, loss, or changes:

– Be there for the person even if it’s just sitting in silence with them.

– Try doing small gestures to help them, whether it’s sending a card, cooking or leaving them a sweet message.

– Do not judge or criticize their situation.

– Don’t minimize or disregard their pain.

– Do not try to fix the problem or compare your experiences with theirs.

– Be patient with your loved one. Patience is underrated. It’s important to give someone space to grieve accordingly.

Emotional suffering affects us in many different ways and levels. Be an inspiration to them. Give them time and compassion. Connect, reach out, and allow them to let you help them in the road to recovery. Remember that the best gift sometimes is in knowing you are not alone through these debilitating moments.

7 Things You Need To Know About Being Friends With A Cancer

June 11, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You probably know your friends pretty well, but if you know that your friend’s astrological sign is Cancer, it may reveal more about them than you think.

People read astrology for fun, for insight about themselves and their personalities, or for guidance in making decisions to improve their lives. Although astrology’s ability to predict future events has not been established by modern science, positive people use the information in horoscopes as a type of map to see how the path lies in front of them.

Researchers studied whether reading astrology charts affects people’s relationship happiness. They gave people a false horoscope to read that had positive love relationship advice as compared to no relationship advice and later found only a small, but not significant difference in the two groups actual relationship happiness.

A small bump in relationship happiness is good, but this study fails to acknowledge that a false horoscope is not an accurate horoscope based on planetary positioning. We all know that the moon affects a pull on our Earth’s oceans, and our own bodies are made of mostly water. The movements of the planets can affect your friend the Cancer very strongly.

Cancer is ruled by the moon, the nearest celestial object to us, and the one with the greatest influence over our behavior.

7 Things You Need To Know About Being Friends With a Cancer

We won’t make any comments about getting your Cancer friend to come out of their shell here, but Cancer can tend to be a homebody. They love to be at home and are probably more comfortable with family that being out on the town.

1. A Cancer friend will come up with something fun to do, if you can’t.

Be ready to follow your friend’s most recent spontaneous idea, which is part of the excitement of being friends with a Cancer.

2. Being friends with a Cancer means they have your back

Cancer is loyal, and your friend-relationship means a lot to them. They will love you like family and keep you close to their heart.

3. You may want to tell your Cancer friend to quit being crabby, but they won’t like hearing it

Cancer, why do you have to be so predictably crabby? Sadly, this is one of the most irritating traits for a friend of the Cancer sign to deal with. Your friend nitpicks, nags, micromanages, checks to see if you did what you said you were going to do, nags you about something else you needed to do, and so on.

If you’ve managed to stay friends so far, remember that this is the worst part. After they get this out of their system, things are all fun and love.

4. Being friends with a Cancer means having the best listener in the zodiac

When it comes down to the most basic parts of friendship, communication is so important. Your friend is an excellent listener and they love to let you pour out your heart over your most recent breakup, work problems or family trouble. Keep the tissues handy, because crabby will be asking all the tough questions that make you cry too.

5. Be ready for some full moon madness when your friend is a Cancer

Ruled by the Moon, as we mentioned earlier, Cancer is a serious lunatic when the full moon is out. This is when the fun happens, the nights to remember, that one time you did that thing and had to delete the photos, etc.

6. Your Cancer friends can be touchy

We mean that in the nicest way though, because actually, Cancer is literally a fan of touch. You will have lots of hugs when you are friends with a Cancer.

Are all of the cuddles, long hugs, arms around your shoulder, and your Cancer friend leaning their head on yours getting to you yet? No, we didn’t think so either. And the reason is that Cancer is perfect at sensing you level of comfort with their emotional sharing and touch.

Cancer loves physical pleasures too, so if you are interested, touch is a way to take things to the next level with Cancer. Cancer loves great food, physical movement like exercising with you, and hands on activities and adventures.

7. Being friends with a Cancer means being comfortable with the emotional stuff

Cancer can get deeply emotional and attached to you. You’ll feel like you’re in a buddy movie scene where the guys break down sobbing over how awesome their friendship is when you’re friends with this zodiac crab. Get comfortable with and enjoy all of the touchy-feely stuff and the hugs that this occasionally pinching friend will heap on you.

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Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!