There are times that when we fall in love, or start a new relationship, we are blinded to the toxic energy and intentions of the other person. Dr. Judith Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom, believes that there are several types of personalities that fall into the scope of emotional vampires. She says, “When encountering emotional vampires, see what you can learn. It’s your choice. You can simply feel tortured, resentful, impotent. Or, as I try to do, ask yourself, “How can this interaction help me grow?” They drain our energies. They take what they want and leave the person discarded and blindsided.
Here are 6 signs your partner is emotionally draining you:
1. The Martyr-Victim.
This type of person sucks your energy while making you feel responsible for all that happens to them. They are the ones who use guilt to possess whatever they want from you. This is the person who uses old stories of blame with a poor-is-me attitude trying to manipulate your life. If this is your new mate you can start by shifting the stories. Most victims do not like when the tables are turned. It’s all about them. Utilize their own scenarios. They can suck your positive energy out if you don’t stop them on their tracks.
2. The Narcissist.
These folks live in their own dimensional reality and the universe revolves around them at all times. Nothing else matters. They feed off the kindness of others. They will manipulate themselves into any situation, especially romantic ones. The Narcissist is dangerous because they do not believe they have a problem. So, if your new date is late and doesn’t apologize, or when you call him/her on punctuality and the tables turn to make you feel like crap, this is the way they feed off emotions. They put themselves on some golden pedestal and expect you to worship them. Narcissist do not like boundaries. If you care to continue with this type of persona, then it’s up to you to call them out on their behavior as often as possible. Most likely they will go on to their next victim. Nothing enrages a Narcissist more than someone going against them.
3. The Dictator.
This type of person wants to control you. He/she will obsess on everything you do and make you feel bad for not doing it their way. This controller is not open for suggestions. They know what’s best for you and you better do to their liking. They will feed on souls who have traumas and utilize past events to manipulate you. Do not share too much of yourself because this type of person has no problem being “honest” and bullying their way to making you do things you do not want to do. Stand up for what you believe. When they feel that they cannot control you they will find a way to leave your side.
4. The Paranoid.
This vampire lives off creating scenarios that do not exist. They will blame you for putting them in harm, making them crazy, and driving them to do things that are unnatural. The paranoid borderline personality will make you feel like you are on a roller coaster ride of horror. One moment they are happy and loving, the next they are saying things that make no sense. You will be blamed for going against them, humiliating them, and disrespecting them. They will be eluded from reality and use jealousy with much anger and resentment. This is a dangerous emotional vampire whose sociopath behavior will destroy everyone around them. They are not only emotionally unstable but can physically act on their emotions because they don’t trust anyone.
“Paranoid vampires don’t understand the concept of trust. They never seem to realize that trust is supposed to be in their own minds, rather than in the actions of other people. Consequently, if you’re close to one of these vampires, you’ll have to re-earn his or her trust every hour on the hour. This is especially true if your relationship is sexual. A Paranoid vampire’s idea of foreplay is 20 minutes of questioning about exactly what you were thinking the last time you made love.” ~ Albert J. Bernstein, Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
5. The Drama Queen/King.
This type of vampire will create a dramatic play out anything just to get attention. A small disagreement can turn into a blood war. They feed off the energy of anyone who gives them power and attention. The Drama Queen/King will add on to anything that you like to make it theirs. They have very little sense in boundaries and perception of what is not theirs. They gossip and create stories that will belittle you while making themselves in the protagonist.
6. The Sexual Seducer.
These vampires use lust as their weapon of choice. They feed on those who have low self esteem. They appear as charmers and sweet talkers. Beware of their behavior when you try to take things slowly. They will force themselves on you by using your faults and imperfections. These are chauvinistic souls who use sex as their way of getting things. They rarely fall in love. They fall in and out of seductive relationships without ever looking back. And, it’s always another person’s fault. They never take responsibilities for their actions.
Each one of these vampires feeds on insults, accusations, blame, vulnerability, bigotry, judgment, and manipulation. If it doesn’t feel right in a new relationship, it’s not right. Listen to your internal feelings. Emotional vampires are toxic. They will destroy everything and anything around them to get what they want. Most of these folks are secretive, vindictive, and intelligently cunning. They are con artists and thieves of emotions. Do not allow another to dictate your worth or rob you of your joy.