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15 Signs You’re Experiencing a Spiritual Death

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Little pieces of our souls get chipped away the more we ignore or go against our gut instincts and desires. The more we try to appease others instead of following our hearts, the more of our soul we lose. Spiritual deaths happen anytime we go through a traumatic event or lose sight of our true selves. Fortunately, many people have begun to awaken to the soul within, and have started to go through a “soul rebirth.”

Throughout life, our true spirit becomes muddled under the weight of responsibility, stress, circumstance, loss, grief, and all the other things we go through as humans. The years spent on this planet enduring hardship after hardship take their toll on the spirit within, which causes our souls to become fragmented and lost.

However, we can gain back our souls through following our hearts, rejecting all that doesn’t align with us, and treating ourselves with compassion and love. If you feel a little lost in life lately, and feel that your soul is trying to send you a message, read on to find out if you’re going through a soul death and rebirth.

Here are 15 signs you’re experiencing a spiritual death (and soul rebirth):

“The phoenix must burn to emerge.” – Janet Fitch

1. You can’t remember certain parts of your early life.

Maybe you have blocked out certain memories in order to protect your soul from pain or grief. Maybe you went through traumatic experiences that your brain has chosen to forget so that you can move on. However, truly moving on might mean revisiting these old memories and coming to terms with them. Visit a psychologist or therapist if you need help getting over painful memories or even remembering parts of your past. If this sounds like you, you might be experiencing a soul death.

2. You deal with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.

Of course, mental health is a complex issue, but experiencing periods of anxiety or depression could mean that your soul is going through a rebirthing process. You’re trying to shed your old skin and fully come to terms with your new self. This process doesn’t happen overnight, and it certainly can produce uncomfortable feelings.

3. You don’t feel “whole” during a spiritual death

Parts of yourself feel incomplete or broken as if you can’t fully see the world around you. Your view of the world and yourself is fragmented, and you feel that parts of your soul are scattered in places that you haven’t yet found. If you feel that parts of yourself are missing, you might be going through a soul death.

4. You feel numb to the world around you.

Everything around you looks bleak and meaningless. You try to get excited about things and do your best to fit in, but you never can seem to feel right about how the world works. So, you try to block out all your feelings instead, finding it to be easier than faking emotions.

5. You have trouble sleeping at night.

Oftentimes when we go through soul deaths, our subconscious is at work trying to sort out the transition we’re going through. For instance, if you have left behind a soul-sucking job to follow your passion in life and run your own business, you’ll likely have some sleepless nights as your soul tries to catch up with your latest decision.

6. You feel stuck in life in the process of spiritual death.

Many times when we go through a soul rebirth, we can feel trapped, like we are living the same day over and over and going nowhere. Feeling this way simply means we need to change our direction a little bit, and truly listen to what our soul wants. Many people get this feeling in life, but remember; you’re not a tree, you can always get up and move toward something you’d rather have. Your only one decision away from an entirely new life.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates

7. A traumatic life event leaves you feeling not yourself.

If you go through a bad breakup, divorce, death of a loved one, or near-death experience, you might not feel the same afterward. A piece of your soul is taken away each time you go through trauma, and you go through a ‘soul death.’

8. Spiritual death makes you feel that life isn’t living up to your expectations.

If you feel let down by life, this means your soul is longing for something more, but you haven’t found it yet. Wishing for something more in life often points to a soul death, because you want to strive for more than life has given you.

spiritual-awakening

 

9. You feel pulled in multiple directions.

If you feel like life is trying to push you down different paths, you might be experiencing a soul rebirth. You’ve recognized that you have a limitless potential within yourself, and you don’t want to waste it any longer. However, you can’t decide which path you want to take because you see yourself succeeding and thriving in various ways.

10. You use substances to escape from the real world.

As part of soul death, you might find yourself reaching out for something to hold onto, or some outlet to escape into. Many people who drink or do drugs probably don’t recognize that their soul is crying out for attention, and their higher self is longing to be loved.

11. You find yourself questioning everything you thought you knew.

If you find that you’re second-guessing your beliefs, lifestyle, and everything about life in general, your soul might be in need of a new direction. Often, going through a soul death means leaving behind stagnant beliefs and ushering in a more open-minded viewpoint.

12. You long to have a purpose in your life.

We all search for a deeper meaning in life, but a soul death usually causes us to search a little harder. You might feel completely fed up with your current life, and long for one where you can wake up with excitement, knowing that the day ahead promises meaning and fulfillment.

If you feel this way, make sure to go with your gut and don’t second-guess yourself. The only way to fully awaken to our true selves is to leave behind what no longer serves us so we can step into our most authentic being.

13. You feel you have no control over your life.

Even if you feel that you’ve found your purpose, you might feel unable to change your circumstances. You might not know which direction to turn, or how to turn your dreams into reality. You feel powerless to change your life, even though you want nothing more than to do so.

14. You feel that you don’t belong anywhere.

You want to belong somewhere but haven’t found your place yet. In times of soul death, we start to feel vulnerable and lost, and seek comfort and safety. Feeling this way requires us to take a long hard look at our souls in order to find out what we want the most, and find the courage to go after it. Once we follow our hearts, our souls will begin to come alive again, and we will feel part of something bigger.

15. You constantly feel tired.

Not just physically; mentally, too. You can’t quite pinpoint the cause, but you just know that your soul is tired, and no amount of sleep can cure it. The neverending drain of daily life is starting to wear on you, and your soul longs for an escape.

Final thoughts of Experiencing a Spiritual Death

Whether we realize it or not, we all go through many soul deaths and rebirths throughout our lives. Changing jobs, cities, and lives are all forms of soul death and rebirth, as you leave behind something that didn’t work for you any longer and embrace something that you hope will make you feel a little more whole.

If you take away nothing else from this article, please remember this: life is too short to be unhappy, so if your soul needs a little rejuvenating, please listen to your heart and do what it longs for. You might lose parts of yourself in the process, but you will gain back so much more of yourself that you didn’t even know existed.

“Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning.” – Richard Rohr

Sources:
https://lonerwolf.com/soul-loss/
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/rebirth
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Perfect Gift Ideas For Your Partner If Your Relationship Is Suffering

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The beautiful thing about a gifting your partner is the sentimental value the gift holds. Besides Christmas/Hanukah, birthdays, and cultural exceptions (e.g. Chinese New Year, Bar mitzvah, etc.) expensive presents aren’t a component of many relationships – and they don’t have to be.

If your relationship needs a spark, or your partner needs a pick-me-up, a well-timed and thoughtful present is sometimes enough to do the trick.

In this article, we are going to list ten perfect gift ideas when your relationship is suffering. To provide some context, we’ll name ten frequently-cited reasons why a relationship may have problems – and a proposed gift.

For practicality reasons, we’ll also provide the link (Amazon) where you may view the item.

Let’s have some fun!

Here are 10 gift ideas for your partner:

1. “My partner’s job is stressing them out.”

Gift Idea: Habits of a Happy Brain: Retrain Your Brain to Boost Your Serotonin, Dopamine, Oxytocin & Endorphin Levels, by Loretta Graziano-Breuning, Ph.D.

Why: It’s not the job (or anything else) that makes us unhappy – it’s how we think about the job (or anything else) that makes us unhappy. We can learn how to rewire our brain – this book teaches you how.

2. “We’re not getting ‘between the sheets’ nearly as often.”

Gift: doTERRA Whisper Essential Oil Blend for Women

Why: People throughout history have used essential oils to liven up their sex life. Aromatherapy, which stimulates olfactory (sensory) nerves, has been shown in some studies to enhance the limbic system and sensuality.

3. “Lack of communication is hurting our relationship.”

Gift: Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict (audiobook), by Jonathan Robinson.

Why: The audiobook (sold by Audible, one of Amazon’s partners) is recommended in the event one or both partners are withdrawn. The work is heralded by Dr. Wayne Dyer as “Excellent advice for those seeking a spiritual partnership,” and has earned 4.5/5 stars on Amazon.

4. “Our finances could use some help, but where do we start?”

Gift: Sharper Image Digital Counting Money Jar with LCD Display (it works!)

Why: Yes, there are books, CDs, budget planners, apps, all of that stuff. But this proliferation of “money tools” can be part of the problem. When it comes to money, it’s all about simplicity.

You’ll be surprised how fast this jar reads ‘$10.00,’ then ‘$20.00′ – but this is beside the point. Here’s what is: resist the urge the cash in until the jar is full. Self-discipline and “counting your pennies” are two invaluable lessons on budgeting.

important gifts5. “We’re having trust issues.”

Gift Idea: The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, by John M. Gottman, Ph.D.

Why: Dr. Gottman is hailed as a “relationship savior” – and he’s earned that reputation. Though Gottman’s book/audiobook may not replace time-consuming, expensive couple’s therapy – it’s probably the closest thing to it.

6. “I miss how much we used to laugh together.”

Gift Idea: Clown Dress Up Accessories (or some other kind of random, funny outfit.)

Why: If your partner has a fear of clowns, this may not be the best gift. That said, you can do one of three things: put this ridiculous giddup on yourself, gift it to your partner, or get two and put them on. The utter silliness of the idea makes it hilarious.

7. “We eat entirely different things.”

Gift Idea: Pendeford 26 cm 3-Section Non-Stick Detachable Handle Frying Pan

Why: Unless you’ve each got the “cooking rotation” down pat, this thing can be a lifesaver. Cook his steak and her cauliflower (or her steak and his cauliflower, just to be gender-neutral) in the same pan; and cut down on the hassle.

8. “My partner just lost someone they love.”

Gift Idea: 7 Inch TFT LCD Wide Screen Digital Display Frame

Why: It’s a very difficult (and humbling) thing to recommend a possible gift for someone bereaved. Grief – terrible, gut-wrenching grief – is a process. It’s a chance to celebrate someone’s life while mourning their passing. A digital photo album, we hope, will help in some way.

9. “My partner needs to get moving!”

Gift Idea: DD Best Wireless Bluetooth Headphone w/ Mic HD Stereo

Why: For those who struggle to get motivated (*shields eyes*), music is a Godsend. This product, by most accounts, is both high-quality and very affordable. These Bluetooth headphones are also sweatproof/waterproof. So, if whether you’re trying to get your partner inspired to work harder or hit the gym, these are worth consideration.

10. “I don’t know if things are going to work out.”

Gift Idea: IMAX: Hubble

Why: When your relationship needs perspective, life inevitably does as well. None of us can say for certain how any relationship will turn out; though we can (and should) hope for the best. What we can say is that life is limited only by our perspective. This beautiful and awe-inspiring video about the universe may just help provide some of that perspective.

Scientists Explain The Meaning Behind Coincidence

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Coincidence: 

  1. a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.
  2. correspondence in nature or in time of occurrence.

~ Oxford English Dictionaries

Carl Jung was once beside himself trying to explain why coincidences occur.

“To grasp these unique or rare events at all, we seem to be dependent on equally “unique” and individual descriptions,” writes Jung. “This would result in a chaotic collection of curiosities, rather like those old natural-history cabinets where one finds … fossils and anatomical monsters in bottles, the horn of a unicorn, and a dried mermaid.”

Jung often used humor to mask frustrations, as can be seen.

Like many of history’s greatest experimenters, Jung was borderline-obsessed with procuring a scientific explanation for happenstance.

But is there such an explanation?

Let’s delve into what science has to say on the subject.

Scientists Explain The Meaning Behind Coincidence

Pattern Recognition

First, the human mind is incredibly adept at pattern recognition. In cognitive neuroscience, pattern recognition describes a process wherein the brain associates information from a stimulus (external cue) with something in our memory.

Pattern recognition almost certainly evolved over the millennia as a survival mechanism. To illustrate, let’s say you’re out on a leisurely stroll through a beautiful backwoods area. For the briefest moment, your eyes fixate on a squiggly, shadowy figure in the grass. Your very first instinct is to become startled and walk (fall?) backward.

There’s no rationality involved in such a situation – it’s all instinct. The brain notices patterns – and thus, astounding coincidences – because of this evolved chemical reaction.

“The law of very large numbers”

In 1986, 32-year-old Evelyn Marie Adams won the New Jersey state lottery twice – in four months. After claiming the $3.9 and $1.4 million prizes, Adams said “I’m going to quit playing. I’m going to give everyone else a chance.”

Statisticians calculated the odds of someone winning the lottery twice in such a short period at 1 in 17 trillion. (That’s 1:17?) …

But Dr. Frank Mosteller and Dr. Persi Diaconis, then-professors of mathematics at Harvard, rained on everyone’s parade,  calculating the odds of “such an event (happening) to someone somewhere in the United States was more like one in 30.”

Doctors Mosteller and Diaconis explain “the law” shortly and succinctly: “With a large enough sample, any outrageous thing is apt to happen.”

Put another way: there are 7.6 Billion people on Planet Earth. Strange things are bound to happen once in a while.

“Dual-processing”

Have you ever had déjà vu? Most likely. Conservative estimates cite two out of every three people experiencing the phenomenon at some point in their lives.

Déjà vu is almost out-of-body like, isn’t it? Of all coincidences on an individual level, déjà vu may just be the most trippy – even downright freaky.

How in the heck can science explain this?

Dual-processing explanations of déjà vu involve a temporary separation of cognitive processes that usually function in cohort. Perception and memory are typically paired, for example, as are familiarity and retrieval.

Dual-processing descriptions are unique from a scientific standpoint, as they tend to be more philosophical – and less mechanical – in nature. The vast majority of scientists, regardless of their field, insist on explanations that can be tested in some way (e.g., the scientific method).

rejection quote

Dual-processing bucks this trend.

Indeed, “dual-processing” explanations may be science’s inconspicuous “shoulder shrug” – a concession that not everything can be explained via measurement and observation.

Final Thoughts

As mentioned, scientists are always looking for empirical (non-subjective) evidence for pretty much everything. Understandable. They’re just doing their jobs.

But it’s admittedly frustrating to see and hear scientists from all fields (including mine) “grasp for straws”; pronouncing supposed breakthroughs of little merit.

Coincidences may indeed be the result of a large population, probability, and mere happenstance. 

If you’ve personally experienced an otherworldly event (non-drug-induced!) you’ll testify to three things:

(1) It was real.

(2) Science can’t explain it.

(3) You’re completely fine with #2.

Sources:
http://www.nytimes.com/1986/02/14/nyregion/odds-defying-jersey-woman-hits-lottery-jackpot-2d-time.html
http://www.nytimes.com/1990/02/27/science/1-in-a-trillion-coincidence-you-say-not-really-experts-find.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-red-light-district/201610/4-possible-explanations-d-j-vu
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-coincidence-be-explained-by-science
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/02/the-true-meaning-of-coincidences/463164/

10 Simple Reminders Every Single Woman Needs to Hear

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Every woman needs reminders every once in a while. Even if we think we’re strong enough to make it through our lives without some extra positive affirmations, it’s a good idea to give yourself little reminders anyway. They can do a lot to boost your confidence and self-esteem in a big way.

But how do positive affirmations work?

“The reason we feel better when speaking these positive thoughts as verbal statements is because the positive energy of good thoughts and pictures in our mind raises our vibrational frequency and causes chemical changes in our body that tell us we’re happy,” says certified life coach and hypnotherapist Kelly Rudolph.

It’s also good to remind yourself of things when it feels like life just isn’t going your way or when you feel like things are too much. Single women are strong! Keep these reminders in your pocket for when you need them.

NOTE: We acknowledge that men must also affirm their worth, especially when seeking love. We address affirmations that men need to hear in a companion article.

Here Are 10 Simple Reminders Every Single Woman Needs To Hear

quotes for women

1. Your relationship with yourself is the best you’ll ever have

Sure, romantic relationships are nice. It’s good to have a support system and to feel loved and appreciated by another person. But no relationship with another person will ever top your relationship with yourself. You know yourself better than anyone and know what you need and deserve. Your relationship with yourself is the most important and best relationship you’ll ever have.

“The most profound relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.” – Shirley Maclaine

2. Your other relationships are dependent on your relationship with yourself

Whether these outside relationships are social, platonic, familial or romantic, you won’t be able to have a fulfilling and happy relationship with other people if you neglect your relationship with yourself.

“It is not selfish to care about yourself. Compassion for yourself means showing concern for your own feelings as well as for others. Treat yourself the way you would treat your children or your best friend—with gentleness, concern and caring,” says author Deborah Ward.

You need to treat yourself the way you want people to treat you – and when people see that you treat yourself well, they’ll be inclined to follow suit.

3. Travel as much as you can

Money, life and obligations can get in the way of traveling – that’s normal! But if you have the financial freedom to do so, travel when you can. Explore new places and experience new cultures. Take in new local traditions and allow yourself to see the world outside your own carefully constructed bubble. It’ll be good for your soul. And health.

How?

“Active travel is proven to lower health risks such as diabetes, metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, heart disease, colon cancer, breast cancer, depression levels and more…”  –  Lea Lane.

4. Appreciate and strengthen female relationships

Society and media want to drive the idea home that women can’t be friends with one another because of competitive cattiness. This isn’t true. Building, strengthening and appreciating your relationships with other women will give you a support system like no other. If you’re a younger woman, it’s especially important to build relationships with older women.

5. Spend less time looking for a lover, and spend more time reflecting on what’s important to you in a relationship

When you spend too much time looking for someone to love you, you may start to take the first person that comes along – and they may not be able to meet your individual needs. Focus on what you want in a relationship and the qualities that are important to you.

Relationship expert and author Margaret Paul, Ph.D. says, “When two people come together to get love rather than to learn, heal and share love, there is a strong possibility that their relationship won’t last…”

Therefore, when you have a solid idea of what you want, you can find someone to fill those needs.

“If you tune inside and honestly ask yourself why you want a relationship, and you find yourself on the first list rather than on the second, do not despair. You can learn how to love yourself and fill yourself with love so that you have plenty of love to share with a partner,” adds Paul.

relationship advice

6. Face your loneliness

A lot of fear of being alone comes from the fear of being alone with ourselves. If you’re panicking from being alone, it’s time to face that fear head-on. Stop giving it the power to control your life. Once you can deconstruct that fear of loneliness, you’ll be able to live your best life.

7. Your twenties are the foundation of the rest of your life

No, you don’t have to have everything figured out right now. No one has their whole life planned or put together in their twenties. Your twenties are a time to plant seeds, experiment, change your major, career path, and hairstyle – change into who you want to be. You’re only planting the seeds, now. You’ll have plenty of time to reap the rewards.

“In your 20s, it’s easy to rush through life to get as much as you can as quickly as possible. We like to push ourelves to the limit, throw ourselves in the fire and never think we are never going to get burnt. But we do. Instead, think about what makes you happy. You are more than your job. You are a multi-faceted person. Slow down, breathe, and take the time to realize you can create your own happiness in your life, and that doesn’t just mean in your job,” says Amanda Slavin, CEO & Founder, Catalyst Creativ

Don’t let anyone tell you that your life is wasted by 25 – it’s only beginning.

8. Don’t rush to find “the one” – because you’ll end up with someone you shouldn’t

Rushing yourself into a relationship because you’re desperate to find that one person you’re destined to be with forever will have you entering all kinds of relationships that you shouldn’t. You’ll be much happier waiting for the one to come to you – so you don’t miss them.

9. Meet as many people as you want

Go on dates, meet people, get intimate – don’t worry about what people will say. Only meet as many people as you want, and don’t stop yourself from being intimate just because of societal expectations. This can help you find the qualities that you like in people.

10. Do things alone

Take yourself out to dinner. Take yourself to the movies. Go out and do things by yourself. When you do things by yourself, you’ll be able to focus more on the experience than on the people you’re with.

“First, figure out what makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter what it is, but become aware of how you feel when you do things. Find out what makes you feel good and do it, as often as you can. Feeling good is all the permission you need to do what you love to do. And the more you do those things, the happier you will be,” says Ward.

There’s time for both, but it’s good to have time to yourself.

women

Final Thoughts on the Reminders Every Woman Needs to Tell Herself

These little reminders will allow you to have a more fulfilling life. You won’t be focusing on all of the things that society tells you that you should be doing. Live your life in the best way for you, and use these reminders when things get tough.

What You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s Depressed

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People with depression feel trapped within their own mind, oscillating between feeling numb and feeling hopeless. These feelings are more than sadness or just “feeling down.” They haunt the person’s mind, forcing them to battle their thoughts constantly when depressed.

Depression can become debilitating if left untreated and can sadly result in self-harm and suicide. People who don’t understand depression often look at it as an excuse or an attempt to get attention. If you haven’t personally gone through depression, you might unknowingly contribute to the stigma if you believe that the suffering people are just making it up in their heads. According to WebMD, the manual used to diagnose mental disorders, DSM-5, indicates that you have depression if you suffer from at least five of these symptoms for a minimum two consecutive weeks:

– “A depressed mood during most of the day, particularly in the morning
– Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day
– Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day
– Impaired concentration, indecisiveness
– Insomnia (an inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day
– Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day
– Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (not just fearing death)
– A sense of restlessness or being slowed down
– Significant weight loss or weight gain”

Depression is not something to be taken lightly, and those who don’t have it should aim to fully understand and research it before making insensitive comments that might trigger someone.

With that said, we’d like to review some things to never say to someone with depression.

What You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s Depressed

“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.” – Elizabeth Wurtzel

“I think you’re just sad.”

First of all, this statement completely dismisses the disorder. It makes the sufferer feel like they’re blowing things out of proportion, and the perpetual feelings of emptiness and melancholy are all in their mind (which of course isn’t true.) Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, so telling someone that they’re simply sad implies that it will pass and that it’s not as severe as they make it out to be.

This only reinforces the stigma surrounding mental illness, and shows a gross misunderstanding of depression. While people with depression can overcome it in some cases, many must battle it their entire lives. Sadness is temporary, while depression can be permanent.

“It’s just in your head.”

Yes, sort of. If you say this to someone with depression, you got it partially right. Because of the chemical imbalance that causes depression, it creates symptoms that are very real to the sufferer. It is in their head, but they aren’t making it up. People only think that because they can’t see inside a person’s brain, instead only see what’s on the surface. However, this mental disorder is very real, and saying that a person is acting out for attention or so people will feel sorry for them is a huge insult to someone going through very real mental trauma.

depression

 

“Try to stay positive.”

Yeah, no one with depression ever thought of that idea! This is like punching someone with depression in the face. No one with depression wants to feel that way; they just do, and must deal with it daily. Of course, they might try positive thinking techniques, therapy, meditation, etc, and STILL suffer from depression. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to treating depression, and it isn’t guaranteed that any of the previously mentioned remedies will work. However, you must understand that those suffering from depression have probably tried to “just stay positive” every single day. This statement implies that if they put in a little more effort, they’d feel all better, and it’s simply not true.

Final thoughts

These are just a few statements to avoid saying to someone with depression. Giving well-meaning advice is fine; however, make sure you take time to listen and understand what someone is going through before shelling out canned responses. Depression is a complex disorder, and may require therapy, medication, or alternative treatments. If someone wants your advice, they will ask most of the time, so maybe all they want is someone to listen. Be there for someone suffering from depression instead of dismissing it as a bout of sadness; you might just be the only person they’ve got.

Sources:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/07/not-talk-someone-with-depression?CMP=fb_gu
https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/what-is-depression#1
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/elizabeth_wurtzel_334889?src=t_depression

7 Signs You Have A High Tolerance For Toxic People

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Opposites attract… but if it leads to toxic interactions, what’s the point?

Call it “yin and yang,” “good and evil,” or “right and wrong”; one thing is quite clear: opposites attract.

The Universe has plenty of examples, but perhaps these phenomena can best be explained by the underlying natural laws which serve as their underpinning. Let’s begin where, well, everything begins: energy.

Here’s the definition of Charge Interactions:

“In contrast to the attractive force between two objects with opposite charges, two objects that are of like charge will repel each other.”

If you’re in the mood for a more humanistic explanation, here’s one courtesy of Psychology Today:

“It has been said that the happiest couples never have the same character – they just have the best understanding of their differences.”

So there’s apparently some upward slope on the “x, y” axes of the Universal “frequency, differences” graph.

Toxic people and “weakness”

(Writers note: We do our best here to respect the humanity of every person. In this regard, please think of the words “toxic person” or “toxic people” as describing their harmful effects on your mood and well-being.)

With that said, here are seven other signs/personality traits that you may have an above-average tolerance for toxic people.

7 Signs You Can Deal With Toxic People Pretty Easily

“If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; it’s just their behavior.” ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli

toxic people

1. You’re open and kind – even to toxic people

We must understand and accept one important truth:

Toxic people both look for, and take advantage of, “weakness.”

Toxics have numerous confusions about the world around them, but perhaps the most notable one is their perception of kindness, which is viewed as weak.

Twisted logic, but true.

2. You’re a great listener

Being a great listener is a gift, one that is lacking in today’s world. However, if a toxic person knows you are an active listener they may very well use you as an outlet in which to share their negative disposition.

Also, toxic people don’t care about what you have to say. They’re a conversational bully.

3. You’re laid back

If “Chill, guys” is your motto, we love/admire you. We mean this with the greatest sincerity. You’ve probably made all of our lives just a bit easier.

But toxics are one group of people with whom you don’t want to exhibit your kind, easygoing side. Laidback individuals possess a beautiful sort of inner peace, which a toxic person may misinterpret as passivity.

4. You’re inclusive of everyone

We all know of a person who gets along with darn near everyone. Creating harmony, building bridges, and lifting spirits are in this person’s DNA.

But a small minority, for reasons inexplicable, want to alter your sunny outlook. Like we’ve said, opposites attract. Maintain your distance.

5. You believe everyone can change

While the vast majority of us are good at our core, not everyone is able or willing to uncover their better nature. A person who believes that everyone can change possesses a particular type of idealism.

Many idealists have altered the course of history for the better. But unless you’re prepared to wander into some incredibly murky and uncertain water, it is perhaps best to focus your energy away from toxic situations.

6. You can’t say ‘No’ to toxic people

Some of us have a difficult time saying ‘No.’ If you compose a 300-word email explaining why you can’t do something, this advice is for you.

Learning to say No is essential to living a happy life. This is especially true when dealing with toxics, who will hound you until you cave to their demands.

Look the person in the eye, smile, and with a polite yet firm tone, say “No.” Avoid the awkward silence (if any) by getting back to what you were doing.

toxic people

7. You put others’ needs above yours

Some of us are real empaths; those who feel heartfelt sympathies for the needs of others, often to the point of putting everyone else’s needs and wants above their own.

Putting other needs first is admirable, but – as we all very well know – toxic individuals will readily take advantage of such a person.

Final Thoughts on Dealing With Toxic People

Vyoma Nupur, author, and host of the ‘Perfectly Imperfect’ show, recommends three strategies for dealing with toxic people that you may find helpful in both your personal and professional lives:

1) “Be quietly persistent in standing your ground because toxic people smell fear a mile away and if you fear them, their mission is accomplished.”

2) “If you have a toxic boss, till you can move away from that workplace, document and email everything to be able to counter any accusations towards you and remember that him or her are insecure, unhappy people and since you are smart, stay mentally detached from them.”

3) “Toxic people in your personal life are more difficult to deal with but the key is to stand quietly firm on your views and move on if the situation cannot be salvaged.”

10 Laws of Success That Will Change Your Life

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What are the “Laws of Success?” Well, that depends on you. More specifically, it depends on how you think.

“Success” is an ambiguous word for a reason: it means different things to different people. For some, success is wealth. For others, money is nothing else than a tool. Consider Alfred Nobel.

Alfred Nobel was a Swedish chemist, engineer, inventor, businessman, and philanthropist. He held 355 patents and accumulated vast sums of wealth. When he died in 1896, most people – including his family – were shocked to learn that he willed most of his fortune into a trust. The Nobel Prizes were born.

“Contentment is the only real wealth,” Nobel wrote.

Now, consider Winston Churchill:

Success is not the absence of wealth nor the experience of failure. Winston Churchill, a British statesman and Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during World War II said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”

Now, consider Thomas Edison:

Edison, who was once told that he was “too stupid to learn anything” become perhaps the most prolific innovator in history, said, “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work!”

Whether Nobel, Churchill or Edison followed any set of laws or “secrets” of success is unknown. But that doesn’t mean that they didn’t embody a “greater purpose” that enabled outstanding success.

Cause and effect govern the laws of the Universe. We, as creations of the Universe (be it God, a “Higher Being,” or something else) are also subject to its laws, are we not? Read this quote by Carl Sagan, considered by many to be the greatest astrophysicist who ever lived:

“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.”

10 Laws of Success That Will Change Your Life

“Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result.” – Oscar Wilde

1. The Law of Action

One common (and grave) misperception of LOA is that thoughts are all we need. This is simply not so.

Jim Carrey, the uber-famous comedic actor, once said to Oprah Winfrey: “I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and gave myself three, maybe five years … on Thanksgiving (of) 1995 I found out I was going to make 10 million dollars on ‘Dumb & Dumber’…but you can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

Nothing is possible without action. “A body in motion will stay in motion, while a body at rest will remain at rest.”

2. The Law of Potentiality

Dr. Deepak Chopra made a commitment that he would allocate “30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening” to meditate. He got to the point where he was so adept at mindfulness meditation that he could, without interaction, “sit silently and watch a sunset…listen to the sound of the ocean…or simply smell the scent of a flower” and it was pure ecstasy.

When we realize the potential of our mind, the possibilities are endless.

3. The Law of Vibration

Did you know that Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the commercial telephone, predicted telepathy a century before neuroscientists even acknowledged the possibility?

“Our brains become magnetized by the thoughts we hold in our minds. These magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize the nature of our dominating thoughts.”

4. The Law of Giving

Dr. Chopra writes “Today, bring whomever you encounter a gift: a compliment or flower. Gratefully receive gifts.” Wealth is not measured in money, but in affection, appreciation, caring, and love. Some of the poorest people in the world are the richest in heart. It’s all a matter of perspective. Giving, simply put, is as beautiful as it is powerful.

(Readers: have you ever given someone something – a hug, smile, or money – and felt an immense sense of gratification? Please share!)

giving

5. The Law of Cause and Effect (Karma)

As mentioned, nothing is possible without the law of cause and effect. The Universe was “born” from cause (the “Big Bang”) that produced the beautiful planet which now we call our home.

Most scientists attribute the creation of the Universe to an immediate, extraordinary amount of energy (a “singularity”) that birthed the entire cosmos. We too are products of this miraculous event – one of cause and effect. We too possess capabilities just waiting to be acknowledged and discovered.

6. The Law of Purpose

Every human being, whether they’ve realized it or not, have a special gift or talent to give. When we consciously direct this purpose to the service of others, humanity will evolve for the better.

If you’ve ever felt the uncomfortable gnawing for you to seek something greater, it’s because you’re meant to find something greater.

Do not settle for something that is beneath you. Fulfill your spirit and your destiny by following your heart’s path.

7. The Law of Detachment

On the surface, the word ‘detachment’ may be interpreted as feelings of isolation, or worse, a carefree way of living.

Detachment, in the appropriate context, is explained by Dr. Chopra: “In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty … in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the PRISON of past conditioning.”

Acceptance, responsibility, and tolerance are foundational to this Universal Law. We’re free to be ourselves and allow others to live as they are. Or, we may cast judgment and proclaim our ignorance. The choice is ours.

8. The Law of Intention

Humans possess a remarkable ability to make conceive, construct, and take action on our intentions and desires. “What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

Without intention or ambition, we will not achieve our life purpose. With such knowledge, our abilities are nearly limitless. The mind, as demonstrated by Laws of the Universe, is capable of expansion. Need proof? Read about neuroplasticity.

9. The Law of Morality

Did you know that homo sapiens are the only species capable of consciously discerning right from wrong? Outliers aside, we possess an “inner voice” that tells us “how” to act in any given situation.

Morality is not some accident. Morality is a journey that will lead to a destination. We’ve, very sadly, witnessed a disproportionate amount of evil in the world. It is fair to say that our race may be on the tipping point.

Will we choose to care for our planet as it has cared for us? Will we allow others to “live and let live?” The Universe, in all its glory, has also experienced a fair share of Chaos. We can – and likely will – weather this storm if we choose right over wrong.

10. The Law of Spirituality

We are not going to rant about some religious dogma. Even the most ardent “non-believer” does indeed exercise the notion that human beings are spiritual in a sense. How else does one explain things like charity, environmentalism, compassion, selflessness, or sacrifice?

Some (albeit a minority) will attribute these feelings to neurochemical reactions. So be it. We’re not here to judge. But if you consider some of the most influential people to have ever walked this earth – Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, and Muhammed – they all had one thing in common: loving one another and a belief in something greater than ourselves.

Final Thoughts on Achieving Success

Success is not gained through wealth, possessions, or power. Success is self-defined. If we, to the best of our abilities, make the conscious decision to follow the Laws set forth since the Universes’ inception, we will always be successful.

Love, Positivity, and Happiness to all of our Dear Readers. Thank you for what you do, and Thank You for your support.

7 Signs A Narcissist Is Trying to Sneak Into Your Life

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Few personalities are as enigmatic and potentially damaging as the narcissist. Often charming, charismatic, and seemingly confident, narcissists can initially appear as the life of the party or the ideal partner. However, beneath this enticing facade often lies a web of manipulation, lack of empathy, and a hunger for admiration that can leave those in their wake feeling used, confused, and emotionally drained. Recognizing the early signs of a narcissist trying to enter your life can be the key to safeguarding your emotional well-being.

Here’s why:

“They subconsciously deny an unstated and intolerably poor self-image through inflation. They turn themselves into glittering figures of immense grandeur surrounded by psychologically impenetrable walls. The goal of this self-deception is to be impervious to the greatly feared external criticism and to their own rolling sea of doubts.” ~ Elan Golomb, Trapped in the Mirror.

Character Traits of a Narcissist

Here’s an interesting experiment to try if you are so inclined (and can actually stomach it):

Read the news or watch a reality television show. Count how many times you see or read anything on:

– Materialism

– Selfishness

– Egotism

– Manipulation

– Deception

Finally, evaluate your thoughts and feelings. Write them down if you so choose.

Most likely, you’re feeling a sense of anger, confusion, and maybe even pain. This infusion of bewildering emotions is commonplace for someone when targeted by a narcissist.

If you’re courageous, watch some political news channel for a couple of hours.

(On second thought, forget the last.)

On a more serious note, narcissism influences society to a far greater extent than we’d think.

Take a look at the nausea-inducing celebrity scene.

A well-known show about a family called “The K Family” focuses on a dysfunctional celebrity family and has been lambasted by viewers and critics alike.

Laura Burrows of IGN writes:

“Those of us who watch this show … want to believe that these whores of attention have souls and would actually do something for their fellow man and not reap the benefits of their service, but (seasons) worth of self-absorbed egocentrism speaks to the contrary.”

“This show illustrates (the United States) moral, spiritual, and cultural decay,” says Jessica Chasmar of The Washington Times.

Sounds like a failed endeavor, right?

Nope.

In fact, it was once the highest-rated program of viewers between the ages of 18 and 34 in the U.S.

I’ll give the “K Family” credit, however, they’ve helped set the tone for the rest of the article.

Perhaps nobody on Earth exhibits narcissism quite like the Brady Bunch from Hell.

“Where do I come in?”

You’ve likely met a “Kim K.” once or twice in your life. But just in case you aren’t sure, here are seven signs a narcissist may have snuck into your life.

7 Signs You Have A Narcissist In Your Life

narcissistic

1. They starve for attention.

Just like ‘K’ the bunch, narcissists (or near-narcissists) often reveal themselves with their constant need for attention.

Think of a semi-truck; the kind we Westerners seem to get stuck behind whenever we need to get somewhere. These massive heaps of metal require some serious fuel.

Same goes for a narcissist’s ego. Except that their fuel: (a) comes in the form of attention, and (b) is never truly ‘filled.’

2. They shape-shift

Do you remember Stretch Armstrong? The ridiculously large, gel-filled action figure that can be molded into pretty much any position? (Yes, they’re still around, believe it or not!)

That’s what narcissists do. They’ll contort themselves in a seemingly countless number of ways in order to get what they “deserve.”

3, They’ve got a crazy sense of entitlement

Do you remember ever seeing a television show called “Sweet Sixteen?”

In case you haven’t had the (dis-)pleasure, the show revolves around a spoiled about-to-turn 16-year old whose (failed) parents are about to throw her a birthday bash.

One father mentioned that the Range Rover his daughter liked was used.

Her reply? “EW!” So her Daddy got her a new one.

Apple never falls far from the tree?

narcissist

4. They exaggerate the truth.

Though a narcissist may appear confident on the surface, they’ve got a fragile sense of self-esteem. We’d feel bad for them – if they weren’t perpetual liars.

Ronald Zarella, the former CEO of Bausch & Lomb, claimed he held an M.B.A. (Masters of Business Administration) from prestigious New York University. He, in fact, held no such degree – or any credential – from NYU.

His punishment? Continuing to earn a multi-million dollar salary after the company refused his resignation. (Apparently, company Boards are littered with narcissists too.)

5. They don’t acknowledge reality.

Narcissists literally refuse to look at and accept reality.

It isn’t uncommon to confront a narcissist with irrefutable evidence of their shady character only to have them try and blame someone else for it – maybe even you.

Does anyone else remember when Saddam Hussein stood trial for his war crimes? Numerous accounts attested to the former dictator’s outright refusal to accept the harsh reality that his destructive regime inflicted.

Predictably, Saddam – who insisted he was unlawfully overthrown and was still the leader of Iraq – was found guilty and sentenced to death.

This distortion of reality is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior.

6. They ignore boundaries and defy standard conduct.

Many narcissists enjoy getting away with violating boundaries, rules and social norms. In the everyday world, it’s commonplace to witness possible narcissists intrude personal space, disobey laws, break appointments, and negate promises.

The well-accepted social construct – respecting others and doing no harm – simply doesn’t apply to narcissists.

narcissist

7. They inflict emotional pain more than anything else.

Though some narcissists are capable of physical abuse, their real calling card is abuse of the emotional and psychological variety.

Indeed, narcissists derive a sick sense of pleasure from arousing negative emotions from others. When confronted, narcissists will steadfastly deny their behavior.

It makes complete sense, yes? After all, they’re always right; so why should they answer to anyone?

11 Signs Your Body Has Too Much Estrogen (And How to Fix It)

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Estrogen dominance: a condition where a woman can have deficient, normal or excessive estrogen, but has little to no progesterone to balance its effects on the body. Even a woman with low estrogen levels can have estrogen dominance symptoms if she doesn’t have any progesterone. ~ John Lee, M.D.

What is it?

Per Medical News Today, estrogen – the primary female sex hormone: “plays an essential role in the growth and development of female secondary sexual characteristics such as breasts, pubic and armpit hair, endometrium (membrane that lines the inside of the uterus), and the regulation of the menstrual cycle and reproductive system.”

Men Have it Too!

We’ll start off by clearing up a big misunderstanding: men produce estrogen and women produce testosterone! We’re all one big hormone-producing happy human family! (Sorry.) The difference, of course, is that your sex determines the dominant hormone.

The Complications in Men

Though estrogen dominance overwhelmingly affects women, imbalances of the hormone have triggered health problems in men. While the rest of this article focuses on female estrogen dominance, we include some info on excess estrogen in men. (The “fixes” included at the article’s conclusion are also applicable to us guys!)

Per BodyLogicMD.com, high levels of it in men usually correspond to low levels of testosterone. This hormone imbalance can lead to health problems: “High estrogen levels … contribute to prostate cancer and heart disease as well as gynecomastia (enlarged breasts).” “As the testosterone is transformed into estrogen the low levels of testosterone can cause many unpleasant symptoms including loss of muscle mass, fatigue, low libido, erectile dysfunction.”

What is Estrogen Dominance?

Estrogen dominance is a condition wherein females experience an imbalance of their estrogen and progesterone levels. Progesterone is a naturally occurring steroid hormone produced in the ovaries, the placenta (when pregnant), and the adrenal glands. The hormone helps prepare the body for conception and pregnancy, aids in stimulating sexual desire and regulates the menstrual cycle.

Progesterone imbalance also has repercussions. High progesterone levels are thought to be partially responsible for symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Low levels of the natural steroid hormone may lead to ovulation failure or menstrual irregularities.

11 Signs of Estrogen Dominance

1. Weight Gain

One of the main symptoms of estrogen dominance is weight gain, especially in the hip area. Estrogen homeostasis is essential for maintaining a healthy weight. It’s also common to experience bloating or difficulty losing weight.

2. Swollen or Tender Breasts

Female breasts are sensitive to hormonal changes, as evidenced by the swelling and sensitivity during menstruation. Soreness and swelling around the nipples, particularly off-cycle, could be due to high levels.

3. Period Irregularity

High levels throw a loop in the hormonal apparatus responsible for maintaining regular periods. As a result, your period may show up earlier or later than usual.

4. Mood Swings

Under normal circumstances, estrogen increases cerebral blood flow and promotes neuronal activity, which helps us think. However, elevated levels are linked to anxiety, depression, and even panic attacks.

5. Decreased Sex Drive

Not much research has been done on the relationship – if any – between high estrogen levels and sex drive. However, given the myriad physical and psychological complications caused by estrogen dominance, this finding doesn’t surprise us in the least.

6. Headaches

Hormones influence how we humans perceive and process pain. The typical human biochemical reaction to pain is the release of endorphins, which helps to block the brain’s pain signals. However, hormonal fluctuations throw a wrench in this system. More frequently occurring headaches are often the result.

7. Hair Loss

When hair follicles are exposed to excess estrogen, they may shut down and stop responding to growth “commands.” Too much progesterone, thyroid, and DHEA supplements can also cause hair to shed.

8. Cold Hands And Feet

As mentioned, estrogen stimulates the body’s circulatory system – and too much of it slows down blood flow. The scientific rationale for this effect isn’t fully understood, but there’s a general consensus that a relationship exists.

9. Sleep Difficulties

It’s is an ‘excitatory’ hormone – it hypes us up. However, just like caffeine, too much can keep us awake. Unfortunately for those who deal with estrogen dominance, sleep troubles are a recurring problem.

10. Forgetfulness

Per Healthline, “Estrogen is one major hormone that can impact memory before or during menopause.” As the hormone assists in regulating our neurochemistry, it’s predictable that an imbalance may affect short-term memory.

11. Heavier Periods Than Usual

Known as Perimenopause, the lining of the uterus becomes thicker than usual. The disproportionately higher levels of progesterone relative to estrogen cause this effect.

Rebalancing Your Hormonesestrogen

Dr. Josh Axe recommends the following seven steps to naturally rebalance hormones, including estrogen (testosterone, adrenaline, and insulin).

  1. Replace simple carbs with healthy fats.
  2. Use adaptogen herbs – a class of healing plants (ashwagandha, holy basil, medicinal mushrooms, rhodiola.)
  3. Practice acupuncture or breathing exercises.
  4. Try essential oils or aromatherapy.
  5. Consume healthy amounts of vitamin D, omega-6 fatty acids, and probiotics.
  6. If you take prescription meds, ensure you’re aware of potential side effects.
  7. Get at least 7-8 hours of sleep.

Sources:
http://www.healthywomen.org/condition/progesterone
http://www.womensinternational.com/connections/headaches-and-hormones/
https://draxe.com/10-ways-balance-hormones-naturally/
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/estrogen-hormones-heart-health
https://www.bodylogicmd.com/hormones-for-men/estrogen
https://www.healthline.com/health/menopause/memory-alzheimers#1
https://www.johnleemd.com/estrogen-dominance.html
https://www.news-medical.net/health/Estradiol-and-the-Brain.aspx
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