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Psychologists Explain How To Forgive And Truly Let Go Of The Past

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Do you know how to truly forgive someone? The truth is…it’s not as simple as it sounds on the surface.

“When we’ve been treated deeply unfairly by others, we should have the tools to deal with that so the effects of that injustice don’t take hold in an unhealthy way.” ~ Dr. Robert Enright

We all know what it feels like to be wronged by someone.

We’ve all felt the pain of betrayal and the hurt of mistreatment.

Maybe one of the following scenarios happened in your life:

  • A cheating spouse
  • Your parent(s) neglected you.
  • A close friend lied to you.
  • Somebody disowned you.
  • Your peers made fun of you.

These things sucked then, and thinking of them sucks now, albeit to a lesser degree (hopefully).

EMOTIONS TIE TO WRONGDOING

Our reactions to being wronged are different. Some rely on their resolve, “picking up the pieces” (or say so, anyway); some are neutral – perhaps numb; others find it difficult to forgive and forget, or at least move on.

The emotions created from maltreatment can be ingrained into the psyche. The reason for the long-lasting effects of maltreatment is this: our brains are wired to create a memory in proportion to the emotional arousal of the situation. That is why letting go of anger can be so difficult.

Memory champions the world over talk about arousal, which is our brain’s innate tendency to remember things that are emotionally impactful.

Unfortunately, this “brain rule” applies to adverse events – including abuse and trauma. The rule also helps to explain why the emotions associated with maltreatment – anxiety, depression, fear, isolation, insomnia, etc. – may be long-lasting.

When experiencing negative emotions – such as anger, hurt, or sadness – it is essential to your psychological health to resolve them. So while you may not be able to simply “forgive and forget” you do need to figure out how to forgive in a way that helps you to move on. To do so takes time, effort, and emotional capital; but, in the long-term, you’re much better off mentally.

THE POWER OF DECIDING TO FORGIVE – AND WHY IT’S HARD

The act of forgiveness may just be the single most powerful antidote for the pain caused by others.

Forgiveness does not mean that you simply “forgive and forget.” Nor does forgiveness mean that you absolve the person of their actions.

Forgiveness, instead, is letting go of anger, and instead choosing to compassionately release the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense.

Yes, forgiveness is a choice. Yes, you can forgive yourself. But here’s the thing: while we may accept these statements on the surface, we often have trouble following through on the act of forgiveness – be it forgiving ourselves or someone else.

Why do we have this trouble? Because of our emotions. Because we rationalize things. After all, we are not responsible for their actions.

Maybe not, but you are responsible for yours. You’re responsible for your actions. Plus, you’re solely accountable for your emotions and thoughts.

You’re responsible for mitigating the damage inflicted. Ultimately, you are responsible for forgiveness.

But, even more importantly, you’re responsible for your happiness and peace of mind.

“HOW DO I FORGIVE THEM?”

According to Dr. Robert Enright, a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness, we can implement a four-phase model to help us learn how to forgive ourselves and others.

1. KNOW THAT FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE

Before we can learn how to forgive, we must first believe that forgiveness is possible. We must, at a minimum, accept the notion that forgiveness is a feasible solution to the problem.

2. MAKE THE CHOICE TO FORGIVE

“People should not be forced into forgiving,” Enright says, “I think it’s important that people are drawn to it.”

As mentioned, learning how to forgive doesn’t entail excusing someone or forgetting about their past behaviors. Understanding this – and forgiveness’ positive influence on your emotions – allows us to look at forgiveness in the right light.

3. MAKE A LIST

This step works by making a list of everyone – going back to childhood – who has harmed you in some way. After the list is created, prioritize by ordering the names starting with who has hurt you the most.

Start off by forgiving the individuals toward the bottom of the list and make your way up.

Take the time needed to process the emotion; you’ll know when it’s time to move to the next step.

4. EXPOSE THE ANGER

“[This step] is kind of a checklist,” Enright says. “How are you doing in terms of your anger? How have you been denying it? Are you angrier than you thought you were? What are the physical consequences of your anger?”

Enright concludes “Once you look at those effects (of your anger), the question becomes, Do you want to heal?”

5. MAKE THE COMMITMENT

After step 4, you’re ready to commit to the act of forgiveness. “Once people have completed phase one and seen how the effects of the anger have made them unhappy, there’s a tendency to give this a try,” says Enright.

how to forgive and let go

6. CONSIDER THE OTHER PERSON

Now that you know how to forgive, this step is where the “work” of forgiving starts. It involves thinking about the person in a new way. Were they hurt in any way? If so, did their hurt possibly contribute to yours?

7. ACKNOWLEDGE THE OTHER PERSON’S HUMANITY

“You were both born, you will both die, you both bleed when you’re cut, you both have unique DNA and when you die there will never be another person like you. And given the humanity that you share with this person, is it possible that they might be just as special, unique, and irreplaceable as you are?” asks Enright.

8. SOFTENING YOUR HEART

Knowingly or unknowingly, the other person’s actions have hardened your heart a bit. Eventually, if you practice the type of forgiveness prescribed by Dr. Enright, you should begin to feel the healthy release and letting go of anger.

“It’s a tiny glimmering of compassion,” Enright states.

9. TAKE THE PAIN

It’s normal to feel strong emotions at this point. Enright says that there’s a dose of pain involved; but that this pain ultimately allows us to move on.

“(Pain) builds self-esteem because you’re saying, ‘If I can see the humanity in the one who didn’t see the humanity in me, and if I can soften my heart to the one who didn’t to me, then who am I as a person? I’m stronger than I thought.”

10. REFLECT AND DISCOVER

“Typically, people are more aware of the wounds in the world,” says Enright. “They become more patient with people who might be having a bad day; they see the people are walking around wounded all the time, and they’re generally more aware of others’ pain and want to be a conduit for good.”

There’s certainly a reflection period involved when the pain passes. You realize: (a) you’re stronger, and (b) you’re happier.

11. REPEAT THE PROCESS

Know how you started out with a list? Well, after a certain period, it’s time to get back after it.

how to forgiveFINAL THOUGHTS ON LEARNING TO FORGIVE

Sooner than you think, you’ll have forgiven the people who’ve hurt you. You will release the anger pent up inside of you. More importantly, you’ll enjoy a happier, stronger, more fulfilling life.

7 Habits of a Toxic Relationship (That People Think Are Healthy)

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Relationships can be a lot of work. While most of the time, relationships should be healthy and supportive, it’s still two people working together to create something. This means that not all relationships end up being healthy. Moreover, it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint exactly when a relationship is not healthy. In fact, several toxic traits and habits happen in an unhealthy relationship. However, most people seem to think they are healthy behaviors.

Understanding what is and isn’t toxic in a relationship means you’ll be able to see when parts of your relationship or others are no longer healthy. It’s also great to see the toxic parts and work to change them so your relationship becomes healthy again.

Here Are 7 Habits Of Toxic Relationships That Are Not Healthy

“Healthy relationships nourish and support us. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is like poison to us — instead of lifting us up, it makes us feel worse,” says marriage & family therapist and author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT.

1. Conflict mistaken for passion is toxic

In many movies and television shows, the conflict between love interests is often mistaken as passion. In turn, the false notion can lead real people in their day-to-day lives to mistake conflict in their relationship as passion. Arguments and disagreements in relationships are standard, but screaming matches and everyday fighting isn’t.

Psychologist Harriet Lerner states, “Remember that happy couples are not couples that don’t fight. Rather they’re couples that fight fair and take responsibility for their own words and actions, no matter how furious they may feel inside.”

People seeking out conflict in their relationship for intense reconciliation are often addicted to the dopamine they get after the fight is over. Of course, this is unhealthy for both partners.

2. Keeping the peace

It seems healthy to want to make sure your relationship stays peaceful, and no one gets upset. But if that comes at the cost of talking honestly to your partner about your feelings, and having to keep things to yourself to avoid arguments, then it’s an incredibly toxic habit that needs to be broken.

“Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen. But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better. It can feel easier to avoid being honest if we feel that could be hurtful, but it is only with honesty that trust is built, and trust is the essence of a good relationship,” says author Kate Figes.

Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.

3. Keeping score

Wanting your relationship to be equal is a good step to ensuring it stays healthy. However, if you or your partner seem always to be keeping track of what you do, versus what they do … this is keeping score, and a way to create pressure and conflict where there should only be teamwork. A relationship is like a partnership, so rather than keeping score, partners should sit down together and work out a plan on things like chores or bills, and who does or pays what. It’s a great way to ensure the relationship is equal, without falling back on toxic habits.

4. Tit-for-tat is a toxic (and childish) game

When our partners tell us that something is bothering them or something that we did upset them, it’s natural to want to defend ourselves. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to us telling our partners something equally wrong that they did to upset us – instead of listening to what they have to say.

Couples counselor David Waters says, “According to research, people who sneer, ridicule or talk down to their partner are on a fast track to relationship destruction.”

If your partner comes to you with something that you did that upset them, listening to what they have to say and talking through it is more important than defending yourself – or trying to come up with something worse than they did.

toxic relationship

5. Never fighting is toxic

While most people think never fighting is the best way to have a relationship, it’s simply not feasible. There doesn’t need to be shouting matches or arguments every day, but having two people with two sets of values, opinions and thoughts mean that disagreements are bound to happen. When you have two people who never fight, you have two people who aren’t being entirely honest with one another. It’s okay to argue, as long as you do so fairly.

“Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. Together, they’re known as the ‘Four Horsemen of Divorce,” says Sean M. Horan, Ph.D., assistant professor of communication, Texas State University.

6. Needing to be “completed”

Another person is not supposed to “complete” anyone else. We are not people with holes inside of us. We are whole, complete people already. When we think that we need someone else, especially a romantic partner, to complete us and make us whole, it shows an unhealthy dependency on another person.

Couple’s therapist Matt Lundquist, LCSW says, “You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”

Placing that much importance on your partner to make you a whole and complete person means that your partner will feel too much pressure to stay with you, even if things aren’t working.

7. Jealousy is toxic

Everyone thinks feeling jealous is supposed to be sexy or romantic. But being jealous is a toxic behavior. We can’t control our feelings, and sometimes we get jealous over things. But it’s important not to express that jealousy in a way that can hurt our partners, or in a way that’s toxic and upsetting.

Professional matchmaker and dating coach Bonnie Winston says, “One sign your relationship is toxic is that you are filled with jealousy. You stalk [their] social media accounts looking at [their] friends and contacts and wonder about each pretty face [they’re] connected to. Jealousy is NOT a healthy emotion.”

It’s okay to express how you’re feeling. But you must recognize that it’s not healthy behavior and that it needs to be changed.

Final thoughts

All relationships take work! Even ones that sometimes display habits that seem to be healthy but are in reality, toxic. Understanding and recognizing these behaviors is the first step to changing the dynamic of the relationship. In turn, you can get things set on the right path.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/toxic-relationships/201703/is-your-relationship-toxic
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201306/beware-mistaken-marriage-advice-all-couples-fight
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/relationship-advice-and-romance/11016984/Relationship-advice-five-experts-reveal-the-secrets-to-long-term-love.html
https://greatist.com/play/best-relationship-advice
https://www.bustle.com/p/is-my-relationship-toxic-11-signs-to-look-out-for-according-to-experts-74392

7 Signs Your Partner Wants to Spend Their Life With You

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Falling in love feels amazing. But relationships demand much hard work. Especially when a relationship is new, many people often wonder whether this wonderful moment of life will last. Even relationships that have lasted for quite some time can have insecurities of whether or not the relationship is meant to last.

Author Kate Figes says, “One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match. A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you – over politics, food, money, how to raise children. It’s those differences that make life more interesting, as our lover opens up a whole new way of seeing or understanding the world.”

Fortunately, many people show some sign that they want to be with their partner forever. If you’re wondering how long your relationship will last, look at these signs that your partner wants to be with you for as long as possible.

7 Signs Your Partner Wants To Spend Their Life With You

life

“True love is not the number of kisses, or how often you get them; true love is the feeling that still lingers long after the kiss is over.” – Anonymous

1. They put your life needs first and theirs last

Of course, sometimes we have to put ourselves first because things in our lives are extremely important. But when your partner wants to be with you forever, they will make sure to put you first when it’s practical for them to do so.

Dating expert James Preece says, “If he chooses to see you rather than spend time with his friends, you know things are going well. If he’s willing to adjust his schedule to fit in time with you, then that’s even better. He loves being with you and feels most comfortable when you are together.”

They sacrifice things for you, and put your needs ahead of theirs. It shows that they want to be with you, and care about your needs.

2. They understand you

When your partner wants to be with you, they try to understand you. It’s not that they understand you magically without having to try – they put in the effort to understand your thoughts, emotions, opinions, and desires. They understand you on a level like no other, and they’re the only person who wants to understand you as deeply as they do. Being understood is a universally amazing feeling, especially by your partner.

3. Being with them is so easy that you know the love will last for life

Your relationship is full of laughter, love and fun. There’s no drama or games. Your partner communicates with you and makes it feel like being with them is easy. While it may almost feel too easy to be with him, you know that there’s no way you would trade that feeling for the world. It doesn’t mean that you never argue – just that your relationship lacks drama and upset.

Dating coach Patrick Banks summed it up pretty well. He notes, “There’s nothing more liberating than being in a relationship where you don’t have to wear a façade every time you meet. I mean, think about it, having to hide an annoying habit or two from your partner might seem like a minor hindrance in the short-term, but in the long haul it can end up driving you mad.”

true love

4. They think the same way you do

While your thoughts and opinions don’t always align the same way, they’re complementary. They have the same way of thinking and values as you. You never feel afraid of telling your partner something or expressing an opinion because you know they accept and understand you. You can often give them a look and know exactly what they’re thinking.

Professor of psychology Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., says, “For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, education, values, personality, hobbies), the better. Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love.”

5. You trust them with all your heart

Your partner wanting to be with you means that they’ll never do anything to betray your trust, which means that you trust him with everything. You trust your partner to be genuine with you, and you trust your partner to keep all of your thoughts and secrets to themselves. The trust is, of course, mutual. You trust one another to be kind, supportive, and affectionate for the rest of your life together.

6. They make you feel comfortable

Your partner makes you feel a sense of comfort that you’ve never really known before. You feel relaxed and at home with them wherever you are. Even when you’re having a horrible day, your partner can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. They’re the exact person you want to see after a hard day, and you feel relaxed whenever you’re with them.

7. They make you better

More than this, they challenge you to become a better person for the rest of your life. They encourage you to be stronger, more courageous, kind, and attentive to the needs of yourself and the people around you.

“One of the greatest things about being in a healthy long-term relationship is that while you both accept each other for who you are, you aren’t shy about pushing your significant other to constantly improve themselves. You see, couples who never grow as individuals and human beings usually end up boring the hell out of each other until there’s no spark left in the relationship,” adds dating coach Banks.

You grow together to be stronger, better people without feeling judged or criticized. This is how you know that your partner is aiming to be with you forever.

life

Final Thoughts on Finding a Partner for Life

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, wanting to know if your partner plans on being with you is a natural feeling. When your partner plans to be with you forever, your relationship will have all the work and effort it needs to put into it. Your partner will communicate with you, make sure you can trust them, and make you feel like you’ve never felt before. That’s how you know that your partner wants to be together forever.

Science Explains 4 Reasons to Never Spank Children

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Did you know that by law, parents cannot spank children in 53 countries?

Perhaps the most complete dissolution of child punishment comes from the United Nations (UN). The global organization, consisting of 193 countries, determined via the “UN Convention on the Rights of the Child” treaty that corporal punishment (read: spanking, hitting, or otherwise) violates human rights.

To date, 53 UN member states have prohibited most forms of corporal violence against children. 56 member states have pledged a commitment to full prohibition.

Those who faced the hand, stick, or belt may scoff at the notion that “all spanking is bad.”

But scientists and mental health experts may just have a point. Mainly that spanking isn’t in the long-term interest of our youngsters.

In this article, we’ll delve into the latest scientific and psychological findings about the corporal punishment of children.

The only suggested prerequisite is approaching this all-important subject with an open mind. (There is some common ground, after all!)

“Corporal punishment of children is a violation of their rights to respect for their human dignity and physical integrity. Its widespread legality breaches their right to equal protection under the law.” ~ The Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children

Why You Should Never Spank Your Children, According to Science…

spank

“Detrimental child outcomes.”

In an article published in the Journal of Family Psychology, researchers set out to address two persistent issues; perhaps the most important being whether the psychological impacts of spanking is comparable with those of physical abuse.

Scientists evaluated over 100 studies representing over 160,000 children to make this determination. Of the 17 standard psychological outcomes of physical abuse, spanking was observed in 13.

Elizabeth Gershoff, an associate professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, states:

“We found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents’ intended outcomes when they discipline their children.”

In other words, not only did spanking not affect obedience, the punishment contributed to “increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties.”

“You can not punish out these behaviors…”

Alan Kazdin, Ph.D., and Sterling Professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry at Yale University states: “You cannot punish out the behaviors that you do not want,” therefore, “There is no need for corporal punishment based on the research.”

Kazdin concludes his findings in a bluntly straightforward manner:

“We are not giving up an effective technique. We are saying that (spanking) is a horrible thing that does not work.”

Physical punishment, including spanking, may work in the short term. This effect is relatively simple to explain. That’s because children fear a parent hitting them. The result doesn’t last.

The reason that spanking doesn’t work long-term, according to Kazdin, is that children don’t possess a developed punishment/reward mechanism (the byproduct of a maturing brain.) Hence, the child is unable to alter behaviors following physical punishment.

Are spankers unknowingly feeding a violent streak?

A 2011 study published in Child Abuse and Neglect concludes that spanking may result in an “intergenerational cycle of violence in homes” where physical punishment occurs. In other words, parents may unknowingly create a perpetual cycle of physical violence.

Researchers involved in the study interviewed parents and children aged 3 to 7 from over 100 families. Research analysis concludes that physically punishing children are more likely to embrace physical violence to resolve conflicts with peers.

Researchers warn against the absence of “immediate negative effects of spanking.”

“A child doesn’t get spanked and then run out and rob a store,” says Dr. Gershoff. However, “there are indirect changes in how the child thinks (and feels) about things.”

A Dissenting Opinion

Popular dissent on this issue of whether or not to spank a child

Robert Larzelere, an Oklahoma State University professor specializing in parental discipline, disagrees with the premise surrounding much of the abovementioned research.

“The studies do not discriminate well between non-abusive and overly severe types of corporal punishment. You get worse outcomes from corporal punishment than from alternative disciplinary techniques only when it is used more severely or as the primary discipline tactic.”

Larzelere – and many others – are proponents of conditional spanking. That term refers to other forms of youth discipline – including the temporary restriction of privileges (e.g., play time), time-bound punishment (timeout), and effective communication between child and parent.

spank

Final Thoughts on Whether It’s Abusive to Spank

“Proper” methods of youth discipline may never fully reach a majority consensus. Conservative estimates cite that two out of every three parents in the United States prioritize spanking as a form of discipline.

Interestingly, both sides of the spanking debate agree that spanking should not serve as the principal source of discipline.

Food for thought!

Sources:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx
http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000191
http://www.sciencealert.com/science-why-you-should-never-spank-children
https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers

5 Surprising Things Women Don’t Know About Their Own Bodies

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“Until you destroy your body, you don’t learn to appreciate it. Treat the body like a temple because the body is so beautiful. If and when you understand your body then you will respect it. The body is like a bud, until the sun rises it will not bloom; until it blooms it will not be beautiful. So respect it, take care of it.” ~ Bikram Choudhury

The female form is an incredibly beautiful and marvelous creation.

Leonardo DaVinci, arguably history’s greatest artist and polymath once said: “The smallest feline is a masterpiece.” DaVinci, who was thought to be gay, featured women – including women and their children – in many of his art pieces. The Mona Lisa, naturally, is his most famous work.

The female body is also very complex and multi-faceted. So intricately complicated, in fact, that many women aren’t aware of a few things!

Here are five things many women don’t know about their bodies, according to female experts:

1. Women require specific nutrients

Dr. Arielle Levitan, co-author of The Vitamin Solution: Two Doctors Clear the Confusion about Vitamins and Your Health, says “Most women don’t know that they are in need of certain nutrients. Vitamin D, for example, is a vitamin found mainly in sunlight and not in many food sources.”

Most women are also iron-deficient, the result of continuous menstrual cycles and/or pregnancies. Contributing to the pervasiveness of iron-deficiency among women is that many do not eat red meat, which is a primary food source of the nutrient.

Iron-deficiency may lead to symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, migraines, muscles aches and thinning of the hair.

Meats rich in iron include beef, fish, and poultry. Good plant sources include dried beans, lentils, and peas.

2. Female skin dehydrates quickly

Women are very prone to dehydration of the skin. There are a couple of reasons for this; first, baths and showers are an essential – and often overused – component of most women’s skin care regimen.

But submerging your skin for prolonged amounts of time is counterproductive. “Taking long, hot showers is actually bad for your skin – hot water softens the oils in your skin so that they are easily washed away, thus making it easier for your skin to dry out or become itchy,” says dermatologist Dr.  Kathy Taghipour.

Limiting sun exposure, turning the water temperature down, and limiting contact with hot water can help with skin dehydration.

3. Women are disposed to anxiety

Females have naturally higher levels of cortisol (a stress hormone), progesterone (a pregnancy-normalizing hormone), and estradiol (a natural steroid). As a result of these chemicals – and their effect on women’s hormones and neurochemistry – they are twice as likely as men to experience an anxiety disorder.

Dr. Kimberly Hershenson, a therapist based in New York City, provides some recommendations for dealing with anxiety. “Make a daily gratitude list (by) writing down ten things you are grateful for.” Hershenson also recommends practicing both meditation and acceptance.

“Make a list of what you can control in the situation causing you anxiety (your reaction) and what you can’t control (other’s behavior).” If anxiety levels become extremely disruptive to daily living, it’s advisable to seek out medical assistance, therapy, or a support group.

4. Menstruation misinformation!

Experts state that many women often don’t possess the necessary knowledge pertaining to their menstrual cycles.

More specifically, many women are unaware that menstruation isn’t a ‘cleansing’ response of the body. Furthermore, says Noni Ayana, a sex education therapist and consultant, “…the menstrual cycle is not exclusive to the time your period begins and ends; it is a 28 day (or so) process.”

Many women are also unaware that their body is continuously preparing itself for pregnancy, and the extent to which developments during pregnancy impact their bodies.

5. You’re stronger than you think!

Unfortunately, women continue to face discrimination in many parts of the world – including in developed countries. The United States Congress, for example, passed the ‘Equal Pay Act’ more than five decades ago. Yet, women continue to earn just 79 cents for every dollar a man does.

Our world necessitates that women have a strong backbone – and fortunately, they do!

Look no further than Washington D.C., where women all over America continue to fight for their constitutional rights.

The 115th Congress consists of 21 female Senators – the highest in history.

And, of course, Americans nominated the first female for President in 2016.

Keep the first going, ladies! It all starts with a thorough understanding of your body and mind!

Sources:
http://www.businessinsider.com/gender-wage-pay-gap-charts-2017-3
http://www.thelist.com/68206/things-women-dont-know-bodies/

How to Lose Belly Fat In 7 Minutes A Day

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Are you looking for a lifestyle that will shred your belly fat – and keep it from returning.

Nowadays, fitness and science are two peas in a pod. While some fitness buffs may think they’ve chiseled their physique all on their own, the odds are that they’ve had some help.

Exercise science, or the study of physiology during physical activity, has advanced as quickly – if not more so – than other cutting-edge medicine.

In short, fitness owes a lot to the brains behind the brawn – the minds being diligent scientists, researchers, and fitness buffs savvy enough to know a good thing when they see it – and distributing this valuable information.

“The popularity of high-intensity interval training is on the rise. High-intensity interval training sessions are commonly called HIIT workouts. This type of training involves repeated bouts of high-intensity effort followed by varied recovery times.” ~ American College of Sports Medicine

‘HIIT’

belly fat

Over the last two decades, high-intensity interval training (HIIT) has been all the rage. HIIT, for the unaware, is a method of exercise involving periods of rigorous activity with small breaks in between.

Per the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM), HIIT training has been shown to improve:

  • Aerobic and anaerobic (muscular) fitness
  • Blood pressure
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Insulin sensitivity (helping the muscles being exercised more readily use glucose for fuel.)
  • Cholesterol profiles
  • Belly fat and body weight
  • The maintenance of muscle mass

Why is HIIT so popular?

“No pain, no gain? The American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) surveyed more than 4,000 fitness professionals, and the results are in: High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is forecast as next year’s most popular trend in fitness.” ~ BusinessWire

HIIT is immensely popular – and there are many reasons why. Here are just a few: according to ACSM, HIIT is:

  • Modifiable: HIIT training can be easily modified for people of all fitness levels and special conditions. For instance, it’s effective for those with diabetes, have belly fat, or hope to lose weight.
  • Flexible: People can introduce their favorite activity – cycling, swimming, cross-training, walking, etc. – into a routine.
  • Produces quicker results: HIIT workouts provide benefits similar to endurance workouts but in shorter periods. Additionally, the frequency in which one exercises can be curtailed with the right routine.

– ‘EPOC’: EPOC is short for excess post-exercise oxygen consumption. During this period (about 2 hours), the body restores itself to pre-exercise levels; burning calories at a 6-15% faster rate.

The last two – along with the ‘endorphin rush’ – is what keeps people coming back for another HIIT.

What program is right for me?

We’ve seen a proliferation of HIIT methods. The ‘Beachbody program,’ ‘p90X’, and ‘Insanity’ are all variations of HIIT. But long before these commercially popular programs was the ‘Tabata Regimen,’ named after it’s founder Professor Izumi Tabata.

Some say that other widely-successful HIIT programs are the secondary products of Tabata’s work.

The Tabata Regimen, more commonly referred to as ‘The Tabata Workout,’ stands out for several reasons. First, it’s free. You can pay 99 cents for a Tabata app (usually a timer), but there is no profit scheme. Second, it’s well-rounded. There is a blend of exercises you can incorporate into a Tabata workout. Third, it’s fast. There’s the one you’ve been waiting for to manage that belly fat, right?

But a fair warning. While the Tabata method may be short, it’s intense.

belly fat

How to Lose Belly Fat In 7 Minutes A Day: ‘The 7-Minute Tabata’

Now we’re getting down to brass tacks. If you skipped to this portion, read the information about high-intensity interval training. The above sections contain important information about HIIT, it’s effectiveness, and why the Tabata workout differs.

In other words, the preceding sections are motivators.

Here, ladies and gentlemen is the 7-minute Tabata routine to melt belly fat:

One important note: make sure to go through, at a minimum, a light stretching routine for your neck, torso, groin, hamstrings, flexors, and calves.

Do each belly fat melting move at near-maximum (95%) intensity for precisely 20 seconds. Take a 10-second rest between exercise. (Tip: Focus on taking deep breaths!)

  1. Jumping jacks: Just like you did them in gym class, only correctly this time. Try and maintain good form throughout the movement.
  2. Wall sit: With your back against the wall, lower yourself to the point where your thighs form a 90-degree angle with your calves. Hold for 20 seconds.
  3. Push up: As best you can, keep your back straight throughout the movement. Lower your torso until it is about 3-6 inches from the floor. Feel free to do them on your knees until you gain the necessary strength.
  4. Abdominal crunch: Lying on your back, straighten out your arms. Then, while keeping your arms straight, lift your upper body until you feel a slight tightness in your abdominals.
  5. Squat: Standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, and toes turned slightly out, slowly bend your knees and drop your hips. At the bottom of the movement, pause, and then forcefully push back up to the starting position.
  6. Tricep Dips: Position your hands shoulder-width apart using a bench or stable chair. Slide your butt off the front of the bench with your legs extended. Straighten your arms, keeping a little bend in the elbows. Slowly bend your elbows to lower your body toward the floor the elbows are at a 90-degree angle. At the bottom of the movement, press down onto the bench (or chair) and return to the starting position.
  7. Plank: Get in the pushup position; only put your forearms on the ground instead of your hands. Squeeze your glutes and tighten your abdominals, and keep a neutral neck and spine. Create a straight, strong line from head to toes – a plank, if you will. Hold for 20 seconds!
  8. High Knees: Ever seen a sprinter run? Same concept here, but you’re adding another degree of difficulty: high knees! Start by standing hip-distance apart. Start off by jogging as your normally would; transition to a run; and lift your knees.
  9. Lunges: Keep your upper body straight, with your shoulders back and relaxed and chin up (pick a point to stare at in front of so you don’t keep looking down). Step forward with one leg. Then, lower your hips and bend both knees at about a 90-degree angle. Switch legs.
  10. Step-up: Start by placing your right foot on a bench or chair. Press through your right heel as you step onto the bench, bringing your left foot to meet your left so you are standing on the bench. Return to the starting position by stepping down with the right foot; then the left so both feet are on the floor.
  11. Side plank: Place forearm on the floor (a mat helps) under shoulder perpendicular to the body. Place upper leg directly on top of the lower leg and straighten knees and hips. Raise body upward by straightening the waist so the body is ridged. Hold the position for 20.
  12. Mountain climbers: Assume a push-up position with your arms straight and your body straight from your head to your ankles. Then, without changing the posture of your lower back (it should be arched), raise your right knee toward your chest. This movement should be done quickly.

 

Scientists Explain Why You Get Hiccups (And How to Stop Them)

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“*Hic*…*Hic*…Ugh. *Drinks water* *Hic*…Dang it!” ~ Anyone who has ever had hiccups

“What are hiccups exactly?”

We don’t know you. But unless you’re a doctor, you probably don’t have the slightest clue as to what hiccups are.

In short, hiccups are sudden, involuntary contractions of the diaphragm caused by complex neuronal activity within the brainstem. During normal breathing, the diaphragm will contract upwards. The diaphragm contracts downwards during a *hic* episode.

Here’s what happens during a hiccup as the diaphragm does its thing:

– The voice box (larynx) snaps shut.

– The opening of the vocal cords (glottis) closes, blocking air intake.

The hic sound results from the surge of air – caused by a forceful, involuntary inhalation – hitting the closed glottis and reverberating upwards.

In this article, we’re going to discuss a couple of things. First, we’ll try and explain why hiccups occur in the first place; second, a quick detour into the most recent medical findings; lastly, we’ll talk about some ways of getting rid of the little buggers that may work for you!

Let’s get after it!

“Why do we get hiccups?”

Hiccups don’t appear to have a specific cause. Experts have been studying this topic for years and have never reached anything close to a consensus.

However, while mad scientists all over the globe try and get to the bottom of things; we do know that the following circumstances, conditions, and illnesses have been associated with a higher risk of developing hiccups:

– After eating dry breads.

– After consuming alcohol.

– Drinking carbonated beverages (soda is the biggie).

– Eating to excess or too quickly.

– Irritation of the phrenic nerve, located near the esophagus, by hot or spicy foods.

– Excess gas in the stomach, which puts pressure on the diaphragm.

– A sudden change in environmental temperature.

– Certain medications, including benzodiazepines (Xanax), opiates (OxyContin, Percocet), and barbiturates (various).

Medical Conditions

Some medical issues have been linked to higher incidence of hiccups. These include:

– Central Nervous System (CNS) conditions, including brain tumor, encephalitis, stroke, and traumatic brain injury (TBI).

– Conditions that irritate the vagus nerve, including goiter and meningitis.

– Certain psychological states, such as anxiety, hysteria, grief, shock or stress.

– Metabolic conditions, including hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, or diabetes.

– Gastrointestinal (GI) tract conditions, including inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and gastro-esophageal reflux disease (GERD).

Prolonged hiccups

Though rare, hiccups that last for a few days to a few months do occur. When it does, the acute condition can cause other health issues, including:

– Communication issues: as frequent hiccup episodes disrupt the ability to talk, communication problems are often the result.

– Depression: long-term hiccups have been linked to an increased risk of developing clinical depression.

depression

– Fatigue: hiccups place a strain on the body, throwing it out of equilibrium and resulting in exhaustion and fatigue.

– Insomnia: hiccups may surface during sleeping hours; if so, patients will likely find it difficult to fall and stay asleep.

– Weight loss: in some cases, hiccups are not only long-term but occur in intervals; if this is the case, it may be hard for the person to eat healthily.

“Isn’t holding my breath supposed to help?”

Maybe. Depends on the person. Honest answer.

Hiccups are truly mind-boggling, aren’t they?

We wish we could give you a one-size-fits-all solution for getting rid of the dastardly things, though we can’t.

But…

Some people have found a way of getting rid of hiccups that always seems to work. (We’ll provide some examples below!)

And…

Scientists may just be making a bit of headway in providing treatment for chronic hiccups.

First, here are some possible hiccup cures to try:

– Breathe slowly into a paper bag.

– Eat (slowly) a spoonful of creamy peanut butter.

– Hold your breath for three seconds, breathe out slowly, and repeat 3-4 times every 30 minutes.

– Hug your knees close to your chest for a short while.

– Lean forward and compress your chest.

– Place some light pressure on your diaphragm.

– Slowly sip ice-cold water.

– Suck on a lemon.

– Take a spoonful of sugar.

– While swallowing, put some pressure on the bridge of your nose.

Dr. Tyler Cymet, an internist and head of medical education at the American Association of Colleges of Osteopathic Medicine has designed a variety of treatment regiments for his patients – mainly breathing exercises, cognitive behavioral therapy, and yoga – at about a 25 percent success rate.

“Everybody gets them, but we don’t know why – we don’t know if [in terms of evolution] it’s adaptive or maladaptive,” Cymet said. “We’re still in the dark ages of understanding hiccups.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved 
Sources:
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/181573.php
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/jun/06/scientific-research-hiccups-cure-cause

5 Behaviors That Reveal Your Partner Is Phubbing You

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Is your partner phone snubbing you?

“Can you repeat that?”  It’s a question nobody wants to ask, and none want a partner to ask. Imagine trying to convey your feelings, only to look up and see your partner’s eyes glued to a tiny luminous screen. In a world of constant digital buzz, where text tones often overpower heartfelt conversations, phubbing – phone snubbing – silently corrodes numerous relationships. The behavior drowns out emotional exchanges with every tap or scroll.

In these times of digital distractions, it becomes crucial to safeguard the sanctity of our relationships. With love on one side and an unputdownable device on the other, navigating the balance without toppling over demands our attention. Indeed, it is urgent to do so. 

As we look deeper into this, identifying the subtle yet telling signs of phubbing and exploring ways to navigate its challenges tactfully become paramount. Your relationship might be whispering for help amidst the digital chaos. It’s high time we tuned in, listened, and turned the volume down on our devices. Instead, we should lead with empathy, understanding, and a sincere desire to rekindle connections that technology has quietly begun to sever.

Identifying Phubbing: A Silent Relationship Intruder

In an era where digital pings incessantly invade our lives, deciphering whether your partner’s phone usage is crossing into phubbing can be subtly complex. While phones are inescapable companions in our daily affairs, the thin line they tread between necessity and obtrusion in our personal spaces often blurs. 

So, let’s explore how to distinctly identify when your partner’s digital interaction shifts from being merely habitual to becoming phubbing.

put down your phone

The Discreet Disconnect of Phubbing

Imagine you have just shared a pivotal moment of your day. But your words echo in a void as your partner nods absentmindedly, their fingers flitting over the screen. Unresponsive behavior doesn’t always manifest as stark ignorance. 

Instead, it might be the diverted glances toward their phone mid-conversation, the mumbled “uh-huh” that holds no honest acknowledgment of your words, or the pauses in dialogue as they sneak a quick peek at a message. 

This subtle detachment, where your voice can no longer compete with the digital world, indicates phubbing. Unresponsiveness becomes apparent in their lack of engagement or absent-minded reactions. Additionally, their feedback might seem disconnected or delayed. Recognizing this may involve paying attention to your partner’s eye contact, the continuity of your conversations, and the relevance of their responses.

Phone Priority: The Screen That Shields

Is the first ‘good morning’ in your house directed towards a social media feed? Does the phone occupy a hand even as you share a cozy dinner? When your partner consistently prioritizes their phone, placing it as a shield that hinders intimate interactions and shared moments, it sends the silent signals of phubbing. 

Phone priority isn’t only about blatantly choosing to engage with the device. It could be as inconspicuous as eyes darting towards every notification. It might also present as the phone perpetually being within arm’s reach, even in moments of closeness. The invisible (and uninvited!) guest during your outings. Identifying this behavior is pivotal. You must notice your partner’s overt actions. But you must also observe the subtle ways in which their phone presence intercepts your interactions.

The Ten Signs of Phubbing Everyone Should Know

Within the cocoon of companionship, where shared glances and silent gestures weave tales of unity and understanding, the subtle invasion of phubbing often escapes the naked eye. Yet, like a gentle tide that slowly shapes the shore, its signs, although seemingly trivial at first, gradually carve discernible shifts in relational dynamics. 

So, let’s unfold the often overlooked yet revealing signs that whisper the tales of phubbing in a relationship.

1 – Chronic Distraction: The Silent Stealer of Moments

A caress lost amidst a scroll, a story overshadowed by a ‘like’ or a gaze, veering towards the screen, recurrent distraction silently steals away the essence of shared moments. Your partner might be physically present. Still, their mind wanders through the digital alleys. As a result of the distraction, they leave your shared emotional and physical space vacant. 

To identify chronic distraction, observe the continuity in your interactions. Notice whether their phone constantly lures them away, making your moments together fragmented and their presence intermittent. It’s not merely about them using the phone. Instead, it concerns the moments, emotions, and connections lost to digital engagement.

2 – Absence in Conversations: Silent Words in Verbal Exchanges

Conversations may turn into monologues when phone snubbing enters the scene. Your partner’s words might be present. Yet, their essence, attention, and emotional participation seem to be held captive by their device.

Take note of the words they speak. But also notice the emotion, attention, and sincerity within them. A partner engrossed in this behavior might speak. But their words often lack depth, responsiveness, and active participation. In fact, they may ignore even critical discussions.

3 – Your Partner Prioritizes Digital Interactions: The Invisible Competitor

If the ding of a notification supersedes the pulse of a conversation, your partner may prioritize their phone over you. 

Watch carefully. Here are a few signs your partner prioritizes the digital space over your reality as a couple:

  • Responding to texts during conversations
  • Engaging with virtual platforms during shared moments
  • Sharing more smiles on social platforms than on you.

These behavioral signs are not about incidental or necessary digital interactions. Instead, they show a persistent pattern where digital engagements perennially overshadow your relationship.

4 – Emotional Reliance on Virtual Validation: When Likes Override Love

For some people, digital applause often echoes louder than silent appreciation. That response can reveal an addiction to the phone. The problem presents as emotional reliance on virtual validation. 

Does your partner’s mood, self-worth, or emotional state begin to sway with likes, comments, and online affirmations? They may phub you often if they rely on emotional validation via phone.

5 – The Screen Shield: Avoiding Emotional Conversations with Digital Diversions

An additional sign of phubbing occurs when the phone screen serves as a shield. Your partner may use it to avoid vulnerability. It’s how they hide from emotional conversations and intimate connections. 

Observe whether the onset of emotional dialogue sends your partner instinctively reaching for their digital device.

Is the screen becoming a convenient escape during moments of emotional complexity, a shield that safeguards from the vulnerabilities that genuine conversations demand? This behavior is not an occasional distraction. Instead, it becomes a consistent pattern where screens conveniently surface as protective shields amidst emotional interactions. Thus, they avoid authentic emotional presence.

phone snubbing

How to Help Your Partner Realize They’re Phubbing You

A relationship where phubbing permeates can be isolating and perplexing, especially when your partner may be unaware of their behavior. Steering them toward realization without inducing defensiveness or resentment demands a delicate, empathetic approach. 

Let’s explore strategies to help your partner become aware of their phubbing gently and constructively.

1 – Begin with Empathy, Not Accusation

Understand that your partner’s phubbing might stem from habit rather than intentional neglect. Approach the topic with empathy and express your feelings without casting blame. Try to use “I feel” statements like, “I feel ignored when you use your phone during our conversations.” This technique keeps the discussion centered on your emotions rather than accusing them.

2 – Use Concrete Instances of Phubbing

Instead of speaking in generalities, pinpoint specific instances where you felt phubbed. Describing particular moments where their attention veered more towards the phone than the interaction. This detail can provide clarity. It can also stop the discussion from seeming baseless or exaggerated.

3 – Establish a No-Phone Time

Introduce the concept of dedicated no-phone times or zones. These might occur during meals or in the bedroom. Explain that this is not a punitive measure. Instead, it is a way to enhance the quality of your together time. Please focus on the benefits to reduce resistance and gain their cooperation.

4 – Engage in Analog Activities

Sometimes, subtly shifting away from digital distractions can be an eye-opener. Engage in activities that require undivided attention and presence. Try some fun activities like hiking, board games, or art projects. 

Conscious engagement in such activities might help your partner naturally realize the stark contrast between divided and undivided attention.

5 – Seek Feedback

Ask your partner how they feel about your phone usage and whether it impacts them. This discussion creates a reciprocal conversation. It also provides them a platform to reflect and share, making them more receptive to your feelings and observations.

6 – Offer Positive Reinforcement

When your partner does commit to spending undistracted time with you, acknowledge and appreciate it. Positive reinforcement can motivate them to be mindful of their digital usage consistently.

7 – Propose a Digital Detox

Suggest partaking in a digital detox together. During that time, you will spend a designated time away from screens. This effort strengthens your bond and subtly communicates the importance of undistracted time together.

Guiding your partner towards recognizing and fixing the behavior demands empathy and open conversation. Remember that awareness is the first step towards change. With your gentle nudges, your partner can step from unconscious phone use into conscious connection.

phubbing

Final Thoughts on How to Identify and Fix Phubbing 

Couples must learn to recognize and repair this harmful behavior to maintain the integrity and depth of relationships. Balancing digital engagement without it permeating personal connections ensures the sustenance of quality interactions in relationships.

The strength of your connection strengthens as you grow together. Therefore, overcoming your phubbing situation is an opportunity to create a stronger love. 

7 Behaviors People Who Were Abused As Children Display In Their Adult Lives

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The number of abused children is gut-wrenching

The National Children’s Alliance reports alarming 2021 statistics for the United States:

  • Approximately 600,000 children were victims of abuse. They also note this number is most likely under-reported.
  • Children under the age of one comprise the majority of abused children, equalling about 15% of all cases. Even worse, a full 28% of child abuse victims are no more than two.
  • 1,820 children perished due to abuse or neglect.
  • 77 percent of abusers are the child’s parents.
  • Across the country, neglect stands out as the predominant type of maltreatment. About 76% of those mistreated face neglect, while 16% undergo physical harm, 10% encounter sexual abuse, and a minute 0.2% become victims of sex trafficking.

As these numbers represent only instances of abuse reported to authorities, the actual statistics are likely to be much higher.

Some studies project that as many as one in four kids experience child abuse at some point in their life.

Abused Children and Brain Research

Behind the statistics, however, are the faces of our most delicate and vulnerable demographic – our kids. Child abuse is tragic on many levels; one being that the abuse occurs during the period of life when the brain is developing fastest.

Neuroimaging technologies, such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), provide significant insight into how the brain develops at a young age and how early experiences affect that development. Researchers are focusing more attention and resources on the effects of abuse and neglect on the developing brain, notably during infancy and early childhood.

Because of the tremendous work achieved by neurologists, neuropsychologists, and other experts, scientists have brought forth indisputable evidence linking child abuse and neglect with structural changes in the brain.

With this advanced brain research, scientists are now able to give biological explanations for what practitioners have long been describing in behavioral, emotional, and psychological terms.

emotional damage

The Brain’s Carryover Effect: Abuse to Adulthood

Peg Streep, a New York City-based psychologist, explains the correlation between childhood experiences and psychological traits later in life:

“While it’s true that everyone’s childhood experience is different … there are nonetheless broad and reliable statements which can be made about the effect of (childhood) experiences. They are invaluable to understanding how your childhood shapes your personality and behaviors.”

The reason for this “carryover effect” is two-fold. First, the forming new brain pathways – a process called myelination – is 80 percent finished by age four. Second, our brain and mind are predominantly in an “information absorption” state until age six.

Many scientists say the subconscious dictates about 95 percent of our behavior. When does this “subconscious programming” occur? From birth to six years.

In straightforward terms, what we experience during childhood directly affects who we are as adults. Which begs the question: What are the psychological aftereffects of an adult abused during childhood?

Here are seven behaviors people abused as children have as adults:

“Just as positive experiences can assist with healthy brain development, children’s experiences with child maltreatment or other forms of toxic stress, such as domestic violence or disasters, can negatively affect brain development.” ~ Childwelfare.gov

1. Social Difficulties

The chronic stress children experience from abuse may stunt the area of the brain responsible for social intelligence. As a result, adults who haven’t developed the necessary coping mechanisms or undergone treatment may have more difficulty interacting with others.

Adults abused during childhood may have difficulty understanding social cues, such as facial expressions.

2. Impulsive Behavior

Children and adolescents often display impulsive behaviors; in part, because the brain region that controls executive functioning – the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) isn’t entirely mature.  Abused children are no different in this regard.

However, children who face this mistreatment are in a near-constant state of arousal – a toxic byproduct of the near-constant fear of physical or psychological harm. Without proper treatment, the adult may experience troubles resulting from impulsiveness.

3. Underachievement

Experiencing abuse at any stage in life makes concentrating on work or studies extremely difficult. Kids who are mistreated (including by their peers) often don’t live up to their intellectual capacity – and perform well below their capabilities.

In adulthood, it’s not uncommon for child abuse survivors to continue the underachievement cycle.

4. Depression and Anxiety

It comes as no surprise that abused children battle mental health issues in adulthood. Depression and anxiety are the two most common mental health issues in the world. The chances of an adult developing both increases substantially with any history of child abuse.

The risk factors for an adult abused during childhood are higher because the individual often doesn’t possess the internal coping resources necessary to manage emotions healthily.

5. Poor Emotional Intelligence

Children learn to interpret emotions primarily through dyadic communication such as words and gestures. Both play a crucial role in helping the child articulate their feelings, manage fears, understand negative emotions, and develop resilience.

Without the ability to correctly interpret their emotional states, the future adult may never develop perhaps the most important individual trait: emotional intelligence.

6. Struggles With Intimacy

Child abuse is one of the most psychologically damaging experiences a human being can go through. An abused child never experiences the critical emotions of acceptance, love, and nurturing from the most important place – the home.

Fast forward to adulthood, and the individual almost certainly lives with a pervasive sense of insecurity and isolation. Predictably, when someone who exhibits acceptance, love, and affection comes along, the adult is ill-prepared to handle the situation. As a result, the adult will either (a) attach themselves to the person or (b) push them away.

This makes the development and maintenance of a healthy intimate relationship exceptionally difficult.

7. Aggression and Misbehavior

Several studies have linked early abuse to aggression and misbehavior later in life. In a study published in Child Maltreatment, researchers selected 676 abused or neglected children and 520 non-abused children at random from birth and school records.

The 1,296 participants were interviewed upon reaching the (average) age of 29. The study cites the following:

–  Adults who had been abused or neglected were 38% more likely to have been arrested for a violent crime.

– Abused or neglected participants were 53% more likely to have been arrested as an adolescent.

– Prolonged abuse or neglect (per child protective service records) is “related to delinquency, drug use, and other problem behaviors” throughout adulthood.

Final Thoughts on the Impacts of Child Abuse

Child abuse is an unacceptably tragic event. Each child abuse case should be handled with the utmost urgency and confidentiality.

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, founded in 1959, focuses on preventing and treating child abuse.  Serving the U.S. and Canada, the hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Assistance is provided in over 170 languages.

Per their website, the organization offers:

  • Crisis intervention
  • Relevant information
  • Referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources

The hotline can be reached at (1-800) 4-A-Child or (1-800) 422-4453.

Editorial note 09.06.2023: Updated statistics to reflect more current data.

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