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Researchers Reveal 4 Things Most People Think About When They Wake Up

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What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?

For a lot of people, the answer varies. Most people might think that a lot of people wake up thinking about certain intimate situations – but that’s not true! In fact, researchers have long been trying to find an answer to this, and multiple studies have been conducted.

“If it has to happen, then it has to happen first.” – Laura Vanderkam

The answer isn’t always the same for everyone, but researchers have finally pinpointed the first few things that many people think of first thing in the morning. Is your “first thing” on this list? Or maybe you have something completely different on your mind when you wake up in the morning? Check out what researchers have discovered and find out.

Here Are 4 Things People Think About When They Wake Up

1. Your phone

Yep. In this day and age, researchers have discovered that most people think about their phone upon waking up. And this isn’t really all that surprising. With the long way that technology has come these days, waking up and thinking of your phone is pretty normal.

According to a study conducted by the Bank of America termed ‘Trends in Consumer Mobility Report’, “This year’s results demonstrate the notable impact that mobile devices increasingly have on our daily lives. For many, it’s the first and last interaction of the day.”

Most people own some kind of smart phone device, no matter the brand or operating system. With that little computer in your pocket, of course it’s going to be one of the first things that you think about. All of your emails, dates, messages, and events are going to be organized easily in your phone. The first thing most people do when they start the day is open up their phone and check and see what’s going on before they get out of bed.

2. Money and work

If you work a 9 to 5 job, five days a week, you’re probably thinking about money or work upon first waking up. After all, there’s very little time between when you wake up and when you have to start your day and get ready to go to work. It’s where you spend a majority of your day, and do a majority of your socializing.

A survey showed that 56 percent of men and 48 percent of women were thinking of their jobs or money upon first waking up in the morning. Not only that, but people who woke up and thought of their job or money first thing, were more likely to hit the snooze button a couple of times before actually motivating themselves to get out of bed.

3. Significant other

Whether the relationship is new, old, long-term, casual, or married for 10 years, one of the first things that people think of in the morning is their significant other. This almost goes hand-in-hand with people who think of their phones the first thing in the morning – a lot of people are rolling over to find their phone so they can check their messages for something from their significant other! If you share a bed with your significant other, the first thing that most people notice is whether or not they’re still in bed with them, which brings them to the forefront of their mind in the morning.

4. To-do list

Not a real to-do list, of course, but rather, a mental one. Most women wake up and the first thing that they think about is all of the things that they have to do for the day, including chores around the house, things they have to do for their families, children or significant others, and errands that need to be run. Or, they think of things they have to do to get ready for work, or what they have to do at work. Most men don’t report having a mental to-do list in their heads first thing upon waking up, but many women have.

Final thoughts

Sound familiar? Are you a person who wakes up thinking about their phone, or maybe you’re the type of person who wakes up thinking about how many minutes to the second you have until you have to be at work? Or, perhaps you’re the type of person to think about your significant other. Many people think about many different things upon waking up, and a lot of people don’t even have something on this list that they think about in the mornings. It just goes to show the interesting trends and familiar thoughts that a lot of people have and share.

References:
http://c-6rtwjumjzx7877x24sjbx78wttrx2egfsptkfrjwnhfx2ehtr.g00.medicaldaily.com/g00/3_c-6bbb.rjinhfqifnqd.htr_/c-6RTWJUMJZX77x24myyux3ax2fx2fsjbx78wttr.gfsptkfrjwnhf.htrx2fknqjx78x2fith_qngwfwdx2ffiinyntsfqx2f7560_GFH_Ywjsix78_ns_Htsx78zrjw_Rtgnqnyd_Wjutwy.uik_$/$/$/$/$
http://www.sleepjunkie.org/rise-and-shine/

Experts Explain 7 Warning Signs of A Nervous Breakdown to Never Ignore

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When life gets challenging and stressful, we often push those feelings away. We are just keeping moving on with the things that need to get done. Many people have a mentality of pushing themselves through hard times. But that behavior can backfire. Sometimes, when stress gets too much, we risk putting ourselves through a nervous breakdown.

What is a nervous breakdown exactly?

According to Mayo Clinic, a nervous breakdown is “a stressful situation in which someone becomes temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life. It’s commonly understood to occur when life’s demands become physically and emotionally overwhelming. The term was frequently used in the past to cover a variety of mental disorders, but it’s used less often today.”

Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Here Are 7 Warning Signs Of A Nervous Breakdown To Never Ignore

nervous breakdown

There are several early warning signs that people need to look out for when they’re at risk of a nervous breakdown. These signs should never be ignored, and help or support should be sought out as soon as you notice the symptoms.

1. Ill-managed mental health issues

If you have anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar, or personality disorders, you may be at greater risk for a nervous breakdown. That’s especially true if you don’t take charge of your mental health. While anyone can have a nervous breakdown, it’s more likely for people who have underlying mental health issues that aren’t under control. The first step to avoiding a nervous breakdown is to make sure that any underlying mental health issue is well-managed so that it doesn’t exacerbate the nervous breakdown.

2. Abuse of drugs or alcohol

Substance abuse is one of the significant signs of someone heading for a nervous breakdown. Much like the underlying mental health issue, substance abuse only makes the likelihood of a nervous breakdown that much more. If you find that you drink more than you should or use prescription drugs more often than your doctor recommends, you may need to seek out help before the use of the substances drives you to a nervous breakdown.

3. Extra stress that you can’t handle

Another early warning sign that points to a nervous breakdown is that your life has been extra stressful. Everyone has to deal with stress in their life, but perhaps your life has been full of extra stress lately – your job, your family, your relationship. When life throws us more than we can handle, it can be a precursor to having a nervous breakdown.

“In these cases, even someone who does not usually suffer from anxiety or depression can become overwhelmed to the point that they experience a mental health crisis,” says Heather Senior Monroe, MSW, LCSW, a social worker and director of program development at Newport Academy.

If you feel as if your life has been getting more stressful than you can handle, you’ll want to seek out a support system, or even maybe a therapist, who can help keep you in check.

4. Consistent panic attacks

If life is too much that you might have consistent or daily panic attacks. Indeed, this is a huge warning sign of a nervous breakdown. This is a result of your nervous system going into constant fight-or-flight mode because of all of the stress that you’re dealing with in your day-to-day life.

Psychotherapist Sally Brown says that, “When anxiety is left untreated, it can trigger panic attacks, overwhelming feelings of fear and danger that seem to come out of the blue. Once you’ve had an attack, worry about having another one can be more undermining to mental wellbeing than the attacks themselves.”

When this starts to happen, you need to make sure you have a support system that you can turn to who can help you. Or, find healthy coping mechanisms to make your stressful life easier. You may even want to seek out a therapist.

5. Numbness

When stress gets too much, we often no longer can feel the amount of stress that we’re going through. Instead of feeling panicky, anxious, stressed or upset, you may find that your feelings go away completely, and you start feeling numb instead. You may lose interest in your job, your family, your friends, or anything that you once enjoyed in your day-to-day life. This is a huge red flag that a nervous breakdown is on the horizon. So if you find you’re suddenly no longer interested in things, it’s time to seek help.

avoid nervous breakdown

6. Normal life becomes too much

Of course, a stressful life can become unmanageable quickly. But when a nervous breakdown is on the horizon, even your everyday day-to-day life feels like it’s too much for you to manage. You can’t get up in the morning, taking a shower is hard, even getting to work feels impossible. You’re overstimulated by even the most mundane things, and it all feels like it’s too much for you to handle, “and social situations seem overwhelming,” states Monroe.

7. Suicidal thoughts

A big warning sign of a nervous breakdown is when you begin to have thoughts of suicide. That’s because it seems easier than dealing with all of the stress that life has thrown at you.

“Mental breakdowns are often preceded by ongoing feelings of doom and worry, perhaps even suicidal thoughts, or by what’s known as ‘hyperarousal,’—feeling tense and overstimulated as a result of the nervous system going into ‘fight or flight mode,” adds Monroe.

When you begin to contemplate suicide, you need to seek out a support system or a professional as soon as possible. They will help you with coping mechanisms, and your support system will be able to help you manage the stress in your life.

10 Self-Care Habits To Avoid Nervous Breakdown

1. Lower your stress

Stress is part of life. But sometimes it feels like everything comes crashing down at once, causing you to feel anxious and stressed out to the point of feeling like you’re going to have a nervous breakdown. It’s essential to come up with some strategies to help you lower your everyday stress levels. You can’t prevent all stress, but some things you do may add unnecessary stress to your life. Here are two simple things to incorporate into your daily life to lower your stress levels.

  • Routine-Keep a working routine of when you get up, eat meals and go to bed. Having a routine brings peace so you can focus on more important things.
  • Take breaks-It’s helpful to take breaks throughout the day to catch your breath and relax. Go outdoors to walk around or chat with a co-worker about something besides work.

2. Get enough sleep

Sleep has many significant benefits.

  • Sleep helps you maintain your weight better-When you’re tired, you’re more likely to overeat for extra energy.
  • Sleep strengthens your immune system- If you’re not getting enough sleep, you’ll get sick more.
  • Reduces stress
  • Improves your mood
  • You can focus better

3. Exercise

Regular exercise is a self-care strategy to stave off an emotional breakdown. Exercise reduces stress, elevates your energy levels, and releases chemicals that make you feel happier and less anxious.

4. Focus on diet

Choose to eat healthy, nutritious foods to improve your mood. Choose whole foods such as fresh, healthy produce and lean meats. Eat less sugar, salt, and fat.

5. Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness techniques helps you reduce your anxiety and stress. Focus on breathing, slow down your thoughts to release your worries.

6. Talk to a therapist

Find a reliable therapist to talk with about your feelings, concerns, and anxieties.

7. Believe

Extreme stress can trigger nervous breakdown symptoms like psychiatric disorders like a nervous breakdown. Researchers suggest that having faith in God acts as a buffer against stress. Individuals who practice religion are resilient. Having faith in God doesn’t mean you won’t feel depressed at times, but faith can help you as you walk through difficult situations less apt to have a nervous breakdown.

8. Get outside

Being outdoors lifts your mood. There’s something calming about being in nature, hearing birds, and enjoying the warmth of the sun. Interacting with nature lowers your stress, anxiety, and depression. Whether you like to garden or go for hikes, try to schedule some time outside every week.

9. Get into a community

Humans, by nature, are social creatures. Being in a community can help those who struggle with mental health issues. A community gives you

  • A sense of belonging-Being with a group of people can help you feel included and accepted.
  • Feeling supported-Communities support one another during difficult times. When you’re part of a community, you have people you can talk to about your problems. You’ll feel safe knowing they support you.
  • A purpose-Being part of a community gives you a sense of purpose. Whether it’s making meals for one another, doing a community project together, or just hanging out together, community makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger than you.

10. Laugh more

A good belly laugh could be what you need to avoid a nervous breakdown. Laughter has short-term and long-term benefits. Laughing out loud creates physical and emotional changes in your body. Laughter can achieve the following:

  • Increases your oxygen intake
  • Stimulates your lungs, muscles, heart
  • Increases endorphins which make you feel happier
  • Relieves stress
  • Lowers your blood pressure
  • Relieves tension
  • Increases relaxation

nervous breakdown

Final thoughts on Knowing the Signs of a Nervous Breakdown

No one should have to go through a nervous breakdown. If it can be avoided, learning the signs of when a nervous breakdown is near can help anyone deal with the stress in their lives that makes it unmanageable. Friends, family, and therapists can all be of great help when dealing with a nervous breakdown or making sure that you don’t ever have to go through one.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.prevention.com/mind-body/signs-of-a-nervous-breakdown
https://www.healthista.com/8-signs-that-you-are-having-a-breakdown/

6 Habits Unhealthy People Often Share

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Being unhealthy doesn’t always have to do with our weight; we can be unhealthy in mind and spirit, as well. We can carry excess baggage not only in our thighs and stomachs, but in our hearts and emotions, too. Ultimately, though, our habits make or break us – we can either choose something that will make us healthier or make us sicker. We have the freedom to decide who we will date, who we will hang out with in our precious spare time, and if we will cook dinner or take out.

After a while, our habits become our lifestyle, so it’s important to try to make healthy choices as much as possible. You wouldn’t put the wrong type of gas in your car, so why fuel yourself with unhealthy habits that will only make you half-full anyway?

In this article, we’d like to point out a few common habits of unhealthy people so that you can recognize these in yourself perhaps, and have a chance to start doing things differently.

Here are 6 habits that unhealthy people usually have:

Do you have healthy habits? Or do you follow these practices?

1. A negative attitude

Having a bad attitude can set us up for a slew of problems, both mental and physical. Unhealthy people tend to have a more negative outlook on the world, and this can carry over into thoughts about themselves and lead to health issues.

For example, a 2014 study published in the journal Neurology linked high levels of cynicism later in life to an increased risk of dementia compared to more trusting, open people, even when accounting for other variables such as heart condition, age, sex, smoking habits, etc.

Let’s take a look at another attitude type: hostility. According to a 2014 study published in the journal Stroke, people who scored higher on unfriendliness, chronic stress and depressive symptoms had a higher risk of stroke than the nicer participants.

Our thoughts really do become reality, and unhealthy people tend to create a negative reality based on pre-existing thoughts about the world around them.

2. Escaping via addictions

Sure, we all need an escape from reality – that’s totally understandable. However, taking out your negative feelings on your mind and body will only lead to destruction and a decline in your health. Unhealthy people often feed into their addictions, however, because they know no other way out. Either they haven’t been shown the proper tools to deal with stress and negative emotions, or they simply cannot bear to face their feelings.

We don’t mean to pass judgment on those suffering from addiction, because it is a disease, and not an easy one to beat. However, addictions tend to be unhealthy, such as an addiction to food, cigarettes, drugs, sex, or alcohol. Some of these things are fine in moderation, but unhealthy people usually take it to the extreme.

3. Constant complaining

With a negative disposition comes the habit of complaining about any and everything. Unhealthy people, instead of focusing on all the good in their lives, tend to put too much emphasis on the bad. Even something small, such as a person getting their order wrong at a restaurant, could be enough to set them off. Unhealthy people don’t know how to stop once they start, which is why it’s a very dangerous habit to have.

unhealthy habits

4. Making excuses

While unhealthy people aren’t just those who are overweight, a common excuse that these type of people make is that they have no time to work out, or are too tired. The “I don’t have time” excuse is among the most popular, and could be used in many situations. Excuses spill out of their mouths left and right, because unhealthy people also have adopted the habit of laziness. This gets them out of doing many things, such as working out, cooking, doing any extra chores, or taking on extra responsibilities at work.

Unhealthy people often make excuses simply because they’d rather continue doing things their way than push themselves out of their comfort zone to see what they could really accomplish.

5. Being too critical of themselves and others

Believe it or not, negative people tend to be perfectionists, which makes them overly critical of themselves and others. They either do everything right, or get nothing done, hence the tendency toward laziness. Sometimes negative, unhealthy people won’t even attempt to try something because of fear of failure, which holds them back in life. In addition to perfectionism, many unhealthy people also have low self-esteem, which in turn leads to being too judgmental of themselves and others.

6. Living in either the past or future

While everyone is guilty of doing this every so often, unhealthy people tend to practice this habit the most. They barely know what’s going on in their own lives because their minds are either ruminating over the past or fretting about the future. Unhealthy people don’t know how to stay grounded and quiet their minds enough to stay focused on their surroundings, and this makes their minds wander. This habit can easily be broken, however, with mindfulness meditation.

Simply sit down in a quiet place and focus on nothing but your breath for at least 30 minutes a day. It will do wonders for your mental health, trust us.

Related Article: Eating Habits That Shorten Your Lifespan

eating habits

Final thoughts

Unhealthy people don’t do these things on purpose, but nonetheless, harmful habits destroy lives after a while. Just like we learn bad habits, we can pick up on good habits as well. All it takes is a commitment to practicing them, and after a short time, they will feel second-nature!

If you recognize any of these habits in your life, take time to write down some healthier habits that you’d like to adopt, and figure out how you can implement them in your life. For example, if you want to start exercising, maybe figure out how you can start small with a couple workouts a week. Figure out what activity you enjoy doing, and just get out there and start! Remember, the only people who fail are those who never take the first step.

Sources:
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/10-habits-unhappy-people-have-and-how-to-avoid-having-them/
http://www.neurology.org/content/82/24/2205
https://www.mindful.org/science-practice-staying-present-difficult-times/
http://www.health.com/heart-disease/can-negative-thinking-make-you-sick

10 Warning Signs Your Kidneys Aren’t Functioning Properly

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Kidney disease is the 9th leading cause of death in the United States. An estimated 31 million people in the United States (10% of the adult population) have chronic kidney disease (CKD). – American Kidney Fund

Why Are the Kidneys So Important?

Our kidneys are always at work, and they have numerous life-sustaining responsibilities. The size of a large fist, their primary function is to filter and cycle blood, which it does at a rate of 200 quarts every 24 hours.

Here are some their other bodily functions:

– remove waste products from the body

– remove drugs from the body

– balance the body’s fluids

– release hormones that regulate blood pressure

– produce an active form of vitamin D that promotes strong, healthy bones

– control the production of red blood cells

They also ensure the body’s proper utilization of minerals by balancing the body’s acid, potassium, and salt levels. Other organs, including the liver, rely on them to produce and transport vital hormones.

Kidney Disorders

Most medical conditions that affect the kidney target the organ’s structures. These structures include the renal artery and renal veins (vessels that transport blood to and from the kidneys), its tissues, and the ureter, which moves urine from the kidney to the bladder.

Here, we’ll discuss ten potential warning signs that your kidneys aren’t working correctly. If you identify with one or more of the following symptoms, please consider seeking the advice of a medical professional.

10 Signs Your Kidneys Might Be Damaged

1. Blood In The Urine

When the filtering apparatuses are damaged, blood cells may permeate into the bladder. Blood in the urine is a severe symptom and may indicate the presence of an infection, kidney stone, or tumors.

2. Pain In Abdomen

As kidneys are situated in the rear of the abdominal cavity, where our digestive organs also rest, it’s challenging to differentiate kidney pain from common stomach pains. Generally, kidney pain concentrates around the edges of the abdomen and back.

3. Urine Irregularity

Poor conditions may lead to peeing too often or too rarely. Oliguria is the medical term used to describe when a person produces less than 16 ounces of water. Polyuria is when a person expels more than 100 ounces in a day. Sudden changes in urine frequency, especially with no changes to fluid intake, is a cause for concern.

4. Nausea Or Vomiting

Uremia or uremic syndrome is when waste products build up in the body because they are unable to eliminate them. Excess toxins must be removed from the body, which in this case, happens through vomiting. As vomiting may surface from a vast number of conditions, the best advice is to wait things out for a few days. If your symptoms worsen over time, it’s advisable to seek medical care.

5. Swelling Or Shortness of Breath

Swelling of the legs occurs when the body can not produce enough urine. Shortness of breath is due to the erraticism of the blood’s pH levels, which places an undue burden on the respiratory system. Any illness that suppresses the respiratory system is highly precarious and should always be considered a medical emergency.

6. Rashes or Itching

The accumulation of uric acid and waste products may produce itchy red patches on the skin. As the root cause of the symptom extends below the surface of the skin, over-the-counter (OTC) medications and other treatments are ineffective. Should such skin problems persist, seek the advice of your family doctor or dermatologist.

7. High Blood Pressure

These also serve as regulators of blood pressure. When they’re not functioning properly, they can not control high blood pressure. The rapid influx of blood stretches the blood vessels, which may cause further damage by scarring blood vessels in and around the kidneys.

8. Changes in Color

A healthy person who hydrates regularly will expel pale yellowish urine. Typically, urine coloration appears clearer the more water we consume. Dehydration, which can cause serious health complications, will produce urine of a dark yellow color. Brown, black, orange, pink, or red colored urine is highly abnormal and should be investigated by a doctor. Blood in the urine (hematuria) produces a red to pink-colored urine; which is a dangerous condition requiring immediate medical care.

9. Urine Odor

Most people produce urine of a musky, almost ammonia-like scent. That said, urine odor is highly variable, and is dependent on one’s diet, activity levels, and environmental temperature. A malfunctioning kidney may produce a fishy, sweet smell – and may be indicative of an underlying medical condition such as diabetes or liver disease. Certain supplements may also produce this odor.

10. Miscellaneous Symptoms

The kidney, as with many other vital organs, can produce seemingly unrelated symptoms. Some symptoms reported by medical professionals upon the diagnosis of a kidney condition include confusion, headaches, fatigue, muscle cramps, seizure, and skin discoloration.

Kidney Health 

Per kidney.org, here are the top ways to promote and maintain organ health:

– regular physical activity

– lose weight, if you need to

– eat less fat

– keep your blood pressure, blood sugar, and blood fats under control

– stop smoking

– reduce stress

At-risk demographics for chronic kidney disease, according to kidney.org:

– the elderly

– diabetes patients

– those with high blood pressure (hypertension)

– having a family history of chronic kidney disease

– are of African American, Hispanic American, Asian, Pacific Islander, or American Indian descent.

Most of these conditions can be treated successfully. Per kidneyfund.org, diabetes and high blood pressure are the first and second leading causes of kidney failure, respectively. Prevention, treatment, and monitoring of the two conditions are paramount.

Sources:
https://www.kidney.org/kidneydisease/howkidneyswrk
http://kidney.org.au/your-kidneys/detect/kidney-disease/symptoms
www.kidneyfund.org/assets/pdf/kidney-disease-statistics.pdf
http://www.1mhealthtips.com/10-warning-signs-your-kidneys-are-not-working-properly/

8 Signs It’s Time To Walk Away From A Love That’s Too Toxic

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It’s never easy to admit that a relationship has turned toxic. It’s never an easy thing to walk away from an unhealthy relationship – even if it’s rife with problems. After all, we may still be in love with the person.

The truth is that many of us in a harmful relationship would rather live in denial.

The problem is, of course, that this is very unhealthy. In essence, we’re trying – in vain – to ignore a toxic relationship. But what we’re actually doing is unknowingly permitting the relationship’s negativity to seep further into our subconscious.

Is the relationship toxic?

First, we must be open to the idea that a relationship may be harmful. If we don’t acknowledge this vital truth, nothing else we do will matter much.

Here are some fundamental questions to ask:

– “Am I excited to be in this relationship?”

– “Am I happy and content?”

– “How’s my mood on most days?”

– “Do I get angry more often than I used to?”

– “Am I truly happy?”

Think about how you’re treated, and whether or not you’re proud to be around your partner. Do they lift your spirits or drag you down?

8 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

“I can’t control your behavior; nor do I want that burden … but I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I have standards; step up or step out.” ~ Steve Maraboli

As you probably know by now, toxic relationships can harm your mental health. In turn, these effects can potentially diminish your ability to enter into another intimate relationship, if so desired.

Thus, it is essential to identify the signs of a noxious partnership and find the exit.

1. You’re more insecure in an unhealthy relationship.

Toxic relationships are turbulent and unpredictable. As a result, you may find yourself questioning whether or not you’re good enough, smart enough, or whether you’re even worthy of love.

Don’t fall into the trap of negative self-talk. Understand that what your brain is telling you is a lie. You are worthy of a fruitful relationship – and the faster you get away from the relationship you’re in, the faster you can recover your sense of self.

2. You have trust issues.

If you find yourself unable to trust anyone anymore, it may be a sign that it’s time to move on. Poisonous relationships are notorious for giving birth to a sense of distrust.

Depending on the degree of toxicity involved in the relationship, it may take some time to learn to trust another potential mate again. But you’ve already followed through on the hard part: walking away.

3. Your productivity suffers.

Our relationships take precedence over everything. When our relationships are in disarray, so is our life. Unsurprisingly, the psychological effects of a distressing relationship alter our brain’s ability to produce constructive thoughts.

Your bright future isn’t worth sacrificing for a relationship that likely won’t last.

4. During an unhealthy relationship, you become anxious.

Toxic relationships cause a lot of anxiety. You may be worried about being criticized, upsetting your partner, or something else. Regardless of the cause, prolonged anxiety can be extremely damaging to mental health and well-being.

Anxiety is already the most common mental health problem in the United States. One reason is that the human brain is very susceptible due to its natural chemistry. No reason to put yourself even more at risk.

unhealthy relationship

5. You become sick more often.

When we’re under mental duress, it’s common to experience physical effects. One prominent target of psychological stress is our immune system.

The immune system is responsible, of course, for fighting off infections, viruses, and other harmful agents. To ensure it’s health, we must understand it’s inseparable association with mental stress.

6. You become more negative.

We’ve said this numerous times: negativity is contagious. If you stick around it long enough, it’ll permeate into your being. Simply put, we can not continually subject ourselves to a toxic environment and not expect it to affect us in some way.

7. Your friends and family are concerned.

Listen, your inner circle will almost surely point out any apparent changes to your behavior. In extremely toxic relationships, a social “intervention” is very common. It may be, in fact, the norm.

While you may not want to listen, it’s important that you do – not only for your health and well-being but for that of who you love.

8. You know something’s wrong.

Intuitively, you understand the harm that the relationship is causing.

It’s crucial that you: (a) accept the fact that the relationship is causing you harm, and (b) muster up the courage to call it quits.

Final Thoughts

If you take away nothing else from this article, let it be this: your mental and physical health are the most important things in your life.

You can not possibly progress in any other area of life if either fails. Nothing and no one is worth jeopardizing them over. Reach out to your support system, seek professional help – whatever is needed to help you move on from an unhealthy relationship.

Sources:
http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/toxic-love
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1182255-i-can-t-control-your-behavior-nor-do-i-want-that

Relationship Experts Describe The 7 Signs of A Dysfunctional Relationship

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Knowing when a relationship has become dysfunctional can be a difficult task, especially when you’re in the middle of it. Experiencing your relationship turn from something that was once a source of love and support and comfort, into something that causes you endless anxiety, can be one of the worst feelings in the world.

However, recognizing the signs of a relationship that has gone dysfunctional is an important and healthy step to either fixing the relationship if both partners are willing to work on it, or leaving altogether. Relationship experts have put together the top signs of a dysfunctional relationship, which can be hard to spot.

HERE ARE THE 7 SIGNS OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP

1. The same argument keeps occurring

If you ever find yourself stuck in the same exact fight over and over against without any way to resolve it, your relationship may not be functioning in a healthy manner. Communication is key to all relationships. Once communication begins to break down, relationships begin to break down as well. The ability to agree and compromise is important in relationships, and they start to devolve and become dysfunctional when that ability becomes compromised.

Having arguments is normal, but only if those arguments get discussed, resolved and put away. If you find that you’re talking out the same exact arguments over and over, without any resolution, your relationship may be starting to dissolve. The key here is to either learn how to communicate and come to a compromise, or admit that something is wrong.

2. Partners in a dysfunctional relationship play the blame game

If your partner blames you for everything – every little thing that goes wrong – your relationship may face issues. Dysfunctional partners in a relationship will do anything and everything to avoid being held accountable for their own flaws or mistakes, including unloading the entirety of the blame onto the other person.

If you find that your partner is often rewriting arguments to fit their own narrative, or putting an unfair amount of emotional labor onto you and then finding fault when you cannot comply, your relationship may be tilting towards dysfunction. This type of behavior can escalate to abuse, so be alert and aware, and collect resources and support to get yourself out.

3. There’s an ever present sense of guilt

Does your partner constantly expect apologies from you, even when you’re not in the wrong? Are you the one extending the olive branch after every argument? Have you learned when to keep your mouth shut so as not to upset your partner, and to avoid being saddled with the guilt of another argument?

Do you find that you’re saying “I’m sorry” 9 times out of 10, even when all you’ve done is express a feeling or try to communicate? This is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship. If you’re unable to be yourself without apologizing, your best bet is to leave the relationship, because you deserve to be able to exist as your own person without feeling guilty for it.

relationship

4. You could cut the tension with a knife

This is a big red flag if you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner. Even when things are calm, you’re constantly tense and waiting for the next round of fighting or yelling. Even the good times are tainted with the knowledge that they won’t stay this way, and that you’ll inevitably be back to arguing with one another for hours on end.

Tension in a relationship can lead to anxiety, depression and drop in self-esteem, because you’re constantly sacrificing everything about yourself in other to keep the peace in the relationship. You deserve better, and exiting a dysfunctional relationship that is nothing but fighting and waiting to fight is sometimes the only option.

5. You’re dealing with a compulsive liar

Do you find that you’re often lying to your partner about where you’ve been or who you’ve been with because you know that their controlling nature will cause them to start a fight? Or maybe, you find that your partner is lying to you. Or even still, perhaps you find that you’re lying to yourself and telling yourself that things will get better, and you’re happy, and the relationship isn’t that bad. Lying is a sign that a relationship is going south, and quickly. If you cannot be open and honest with your partner, something is wrong. Stop the cycle of lies by finally confronting the reality of your relationship – you can start by reaching out to your circle of friends and support network.

6. There’s an obsession present

Is your partner obsessive about you? Are they watching everything you do, demanding to know where you are and who you are with at all times? This is a sign of a dysfunctional partner, and a precursor to a dysfunctional relationship down the line. You should be able to exist as your own person in a relationship. If your partner begins to show signs of obsession with you, you need to establish clear boundaries in what is or is not appropriate behavior. If they cannot respect these boundaries, it’s best to end the relationship before it becomes a trap. Make your support system aware of the worrying red flags in your partner’s behavior.

7. Your partner never wants to find common ground

A red flag for a dysfunctional relationship is definitely the inability to compromise. At all. Ever. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re constantly deferring to your partner, and there’s no compromise for your feelings or what you want to do, your relationship is becoming – or has already become – dysfunctional. Relationships are about compromise.

Sometimes, we give something up for those that we love, because we know that sacrifice will be reciprocated. Unfortunately, relationships begin to dissolve when our partners take advantage of that sacrifice, and refuse to compromise on even the smallest of things – from where to go for dinner, to who you’re allowed to hang out with.

A relationship can become dysfunctional right in front of our very eyes, before we even notice what’s happening. Sometimes, these issues can be worked on and both partners come away with a better ability to recognize the things gone wrong in their relationship. Other times, the best thing for both people involved is to split ways. Recognizing the key red flags in a dysfunctional relationship is the first thing that will help people either be able to reinforce boundaries, or leave entirely. No one has to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy and unhappy – and having the tools to leave is the first step to doing so.

“Sometimes it’s better to end something & try to start something new than imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible.” – Karen Salmansohn

11 Questions Every Parent Needs to Ask Their Children

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Did you know that by age seven, a child’s brain is almost fully-developed – at 95 percent it’s adult weight, and functioning at its peak energy consumption? Seven years. This short period determines how young one will look at the world around them.

Nancy Guberti, MS, and Bionutritionist states, “Caregivers need to provide a nurturing environment and daily individualized communication. Negative or harsh treatment may come with emotional consequences in the future.”

Children need a stable and nurturing environment and one that promotes learning and communication. Parent/child interaction is the single most important type of communication throughout a person’s life. This ongoing interaction between caregiver (parent, guardian) and the child continues to remain particularly important up until adolescence.

Part of a parent’s responsibility is to inquire about their child’s mental state. Up until a certain age, most children will gladly tell you what’s on their mind (sometimes more than you need to know!) But there’s more to asking questions than getting information.

Asking open-ended questions – which require more than a yes/no answer – is a powerful way to understand what your child is thinking. Further, it’s a wonderful way to strengthen the bond with your child.

In this article, we list 11 great questions to ask your little one – and the rationale behind them.

11 Questions For Parents To Ask Children

“Children are not resilient, children are malleable.” – Bruce D. Perry, M.D., PhD

#1 What’s something fun you did today?

The type of questions you ask your child (and how you ask them) depends on their age, but this question – in some form – is a great place to start.

Dr. Gail Saltz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Cornell University, states “Sharing what your child’s day was like and what is important to them grows your relationship.”

As your young one gets older, it’s a good idea to ask them about what they learned to cultivate a love of learning.

#2 What happened at school today?

When kids get finished with school, the last thing they want to do is talk about it. They’re probably a bit tired and want to play or do something else. Let them until dinnertime or so, and then ask them about their day at school.

If your child seems concerned or anxious about something, follow up with them.

#3 What are you grateful for today?

Research shows that teaching children how to express gratitude is essential to their development and overall well-being. Mealtime is an excellent opportunity to discuss ideas, principles, and values you think are important to instill in your kids – and teaching gratitude helps improve the child’s happiness and relationships.

#4 How are you feeling today?

It’s important that a child learns how to understand and manage their emotions. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to uncover what’s going on under the surface. Asking about your child’s feelings is powerful – and the best way to gauge if something isn’t right.

child

#5 What did you learn today?

Here again is a simple question that emphasizes the importance of learning. This question also encourages critical thinking skills, a talent that will continue to serve your child well into their adult years. This is also a good time to reemphasize the importance of continuous reading, learning, and studying.

#6 What do you think that person feels?

It’s natural for a child to place their thoughts and feelings above anyone else’s. Their brain is still developing the ability to understand emotions, including empathy. As a mature adult, you can help your child by asking them to wonder about how someone else may feel.

#7 Isn’t it beautiful outside today?

(Hint, hint)

Okay, so this is a closed-ended question, but an important one. However you may feel about a kid having an iPad, computer, and video games, cultivating an appreciation for nature is important. Taking your child outside, walking through a park, or joining them on a playground is a great way to encourage physical activity and interaction with nature.

#8 Who is your best friend? Why?

Yes, even as a youngster, the company they keep has an impact on their attitude and mindset. Asking this question helps to figure out what your child values in their peers. As a parent, you can make a choice whether or not this influence is positive or negative.

#9 How can you help someone today?

It goes without saying that we need more nurturing and empathetic people in the world. In reality, there isn’t a way to completely shield a child from the facts of life. Encouraging your child to think about others; in this case, carefully thinking about how they can help someone, is incredibly powerful. Follow up with them on this commitment to reinforce the importance of empathy.

#10 What are you most interested in doing?

Yes, this question is designed to stoke your child’s passions. We still have an education system that prioritizes rote memorization and testing. As such, it’s important to take the reins and encourage your child to do whatever makes them happy. (Creative thinking will become one of the most valued assets in the “new economy.”)

#11 What can you be doing better?

Your child knows when they’ve done something wrong or haven’t given their full effort. This is a brilliant question because it’s not judgmental or prodding in nature. You want what is best for your child – and, by asking this question, your child will know this.

References:
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2016-09-20/make-family-mealtime-a-priority
http://nancyguberti.com/5-stages-of-human-brain-development/ 
https://childtrauma.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Incubated_In_Terror.pdf

Scientists Explain How Selfies May Be Linked To Narcissism, Other Mental Illness

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Before delving into the science of selfies, we understand the skepticism many of you may have regarding this article. Indeed, we remain cautious (and suspicious) about claims that, on the surface, appear to be a bit outlandish.

Putting aside one’s biases about “selfies” – a camera shot of oneself (usually with a smartphone) – the study’s proclamations are nonetheless interesting.

Little doubt exists that society places a disproportionate and unfair amount of emphasis on physical appearance. One might ask: “What would a study proclaim about Twitter, Facebook, and other social media outlets effects on mental health?” After all, some of the comments on Twitter (primarily) are meant to inflict a sense of hurt on the recipient.

As it turns out, the study discussed focuses on social networking websites (SNSs) as part of the process. We’ll elaborate on the study’s methodology in this regard a bit later.

Digression aside, we are in the business of entertainment and education. Let’s take a look at what some researchers found out about selfies.

“In this study, the authors examined self-objectification, along with three traits, known as the “Dark Triad”: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. They’re called “dark” because they have an almost evil connotation and are associated with a callous and manipulative way of interacting with other people.” – Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D.

The “Dark Triad”

selfies

What’s the dark triad?

As a reference going forward, it is important to briefly describe Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy. Each description comes directly from dictionary.com.

  • Machiavellianism: “characterized by subtle or unscrupulous cunning, deception, expediency, or dishonesty.” (Example: He resorted to Machiavellian tactics to get ahead.)
  • Narcissism: “inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity. Synonyms: self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.
  • Psychopathy: “a mental disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.

Scientists Reveal Selfies Could Link To Narcissism, Other Mental Illness

Published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers designed and implemented an:

“online survey of a nationally representative sample of U.S. men aged 18-40 assessed trait predictors of social networking use as well as two forms of visual self-presentation: editing one’s image in photographs posted on social networking sites (SNSs) and posting “selfies,” or pictures users take of themselves.”

In addition to examining the Dark Triad as they relate to how frequently one posts selfies on SNSs, researchers also used self-objectification personality tendencies to potentially influence the study’s results.

Researchers defined self-objectification, as defined in the study as “sociocultural forces (that) promote the sexual objectification of people such that they are depersonalized and judged as objects with solely sexual worth.” Objectification theory posits that when one is subjected to a culture valuing the exhibition of sexual allure, some individuals will attribute more value to themselves based predominately on their appearance.

Out of 1000 surveys administered, the final sample consisted of 800 men with an average age of about 29. The survey included 12 statements. In each, the participants evaluated themselves on a 5-point Likert Scale (1 = strongly disagree; 5 = strongly agree).

  • Four statement items were used from the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. For instance, “I tend to want others to pay attention to me.”
  • They took four from the Psychopathy Scale. For instance, “I tend to not be too concerned with the morality of my actions.”
  • Four items came from the ‘Mach IV’ scale, which measured Machiavellianism. For example, “I tend to manipulate others to get my way.”

All responses were averaged using established benchmarks for analysis.

Results

  • After analysis and validation testing, the scientists made the following conclusions:
  • A correlation exists between one’s propensity to inhabit ‘Dark Triad’ and self-objectification personality characteristics in predicting men’s social networking site use.
  • Traits of self-objectification and narcissism correlated most strongly with the amount of time spent on SNSs.
  • Narcissism and psychopathy associated most strongly with the number of selfies posted on SMSs.
  • Narcissism and self-objectification correlated most strongly with edited selfies posted on SMS.

narcissism

The final analysis reached by the researchers includes the following:

“Men who self-objectify spent more time on SNSs than those lower in self-objectification…more narcissistic individuals reported spending more time on SNSs. Those higher in narcissism and psychopathy reported posting selfies more frequently. Narcissists and individuals high in self-objectification more frequently edited photos of themselves that they posted on SNS.”

In a surprising proclamation, researchers suggest that the study predicts “those high on Dark Triad traits may employ SNSs to execute “cheater strategies” to help them achieve their interpersonal and social goals despite their antisocial personality traits.”

The study’s participants were all male. The researchers, based on prior studies, have found that women exhibit fewer Dark Triad characteristics than males at the expense of higher self-objectification.

6 Traits of Highly Charismatic People

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Researchers who created this 6-question test studied the impact of charisma on perceptions of persuasiveness from people’s recorded voices and found that the average person understands and can identify charisma when they hear it. Researchers also say that charisma is measurable, observable; and that measurements of charisma predict real world outcomes.

Rate yourself on the following six personality traits on a scale of 1 to 5.

Do you have a lot of charisma?

1. Influential. People often ask my opinion and I can guide them to see my perspective.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie may be the single most recognizable book on the topic of charisma. The point of the book is that if you can influence people to believe you, the world is yours for the taking and you can become wealthy as a result. If people want to know what you think, rate yourself high here.

2. Smile. I make good eye contact and smile, even at strangers.

There is no one who doesn’t deserve to see the best of you, and that includes your smile. Charismatic people give their smiles away freely and frequently to demonstrate positivity and openness to all.

charisma

3. Leadership. In a group where no one will take the lead, I often am the first one to step forward.

Score yourself high on this measurement of charisma if you are the one who steps forward when your all-talk, no-action partners aren’t doing what they need to do. Moving people toward a common goal is why charismatic leaders are desirable.

4. Relatable. I can put people at ease.

People feel comfortable around you, so they like being near you. You seem like the common woman or man, the average Jane or Joe who can understand and relate to anyone who is trying to connect with you. Even if you seem very different from another person, you can find something in common that unites you rather than divides you.

5. Respect. I can get along with anyone, even if we have different views or experiences.

Research on charisma theorizes that charismatic people come from backgrounds that resulted in “times of psychic, physical, economic, ethical, religious, [and] political distress.” By having experienced distress, charismatic people are able to respect the difficult places that others have come from. A history of adversity may be a possible condition from which charisma arises. The ability to empathize with others allows charismatic people to respect the stories of their fellow humans.

6. Presence. People generally gravitate toward me in a crowd.

Of course, you can wear revealing, high-fashion, or vivid clothes and draw attention, but people with charisma know how to turn heads naturally, even fully clothed. If you tend to attract others, you have high charisma. Wallflowers who shy away from the crowd should rate very low here. This doesn’t mean you are the life of the party either, but you make people notice you by your posture, presence, and confidence.

Now, to measure your charisma, total your score for the above six questions. Take the total and divide by 6. According to this measurement, 3.7 is the average score, so higher than that is a higher-than-average charisma. The researchers in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology concluded that even though it can be hard to nail down, the misunderstood trait of charisma is in fact, measurable.

A wonderful conclusion from the research on measuring charisma is that we can practice these traits to increase our own charisma to help influence the way people to perceive us. Smiling more often, making meaningful eye contact, and volunteering to take the lead are just a few ways to increase your charisma measure.

Sources:
www.sciencealert.com/scientists-say-they-can-measure-your-charisma-with-only-6-questions
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28737418
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/John_Antonakis/publication/294107449_Charisma_An_Ill-Defined_and_Ill-Measured_Gift/links/56f7ce4608ae7c1fda306fac.pdf
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