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8 Early Warning Signs of A Blood Clot to Never Ignore

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When we get a cut or an open wound, blood is supposed to clot to stop the bleeding. When you get a cut on your finger, you may notice that eventually, your blood starts to clot and form a hard bump later over the wound to get it to stop bleeding. This is a good thing that your blood should naturally be doing. Unfortunately, problems arise when the blood starts to clot in places that it’s not supposed to: mainly, when it’s still inside of our veins.

A blood clot inside of our bodies can be very dangerous, and potentially life-threatening. Aaron W. Aday, MD says, “blood clots also play a role in stroke. Some of the first arteries blood reaches once it leaves the heart are the arteries to the brain, and a blood clot passing out of the heart and into these arteries can cause a stroke.”

Here Are 8 Warning Blood Clot Signs To Never Ignore

Being able to notice all of the warning signs of a blood clot means that you could potentially save your own life, or someone else’s.

blood clot

1. Swelling in one limb

When one limb begins to swell up, this could be a warning sign of deep vein thrombosis, otherwise known at DVT. This type of clot causes problems for oxygen to reach your organs, which means that you’re going to have poor blood circulation, which then causes the swelling.

Therefore, if the limbs on your body, like your arm or leg, have begun swelling up with no other explanation – for example, there is no injury to the limb – then it might very well be DVT. Go and see a doctor as soon as you can.

2. Limb pain or tenderness

Along with the swelling, DVT can also come with tenderness in your legs or other affected limbs with the swelling. If there’s no other explanation to the pain, again, such as an injury, the tenderness to your limbs may very well be a warning sign of deep vein thrombosis. The limb may become tender to the touch or ache. You may also feel your leg or limb cramping up, in addition to the swelling. Keep an eye out for limb swelling and tenderness, as they are early indicators of blood clots.

3. Red streaks along veins

Blood clots are capable of causing red streaks along your skin that are warm to the touch. The streaks should run along the length of your veins and be very noticeable. When you touch them, they’ll feel warmer than the rest of the skin around them. You may be worried that the streaks are just a rash, but it’s important to seek medical attention as soon as possible if they’re warm and run along your veins.

4. Chest pain and heavy breathing

Blood clots that form in the lungs can be fatal, so if you’re feeling chest pain along with heavy breathing, you should seek medical attention. Chest pain should never be ignored in the first place, but when you couple it with difficulty drawing in breath, it is something that you want to get looked at as soon as possible.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, “The most common complication from DVT is pulmonary embolism (blockage), which occurs when a clot or part of a clot breaks off and lodges in the lungs. Symptoms of pulmonary embolism include shortness of breath and sudden pain in the chest that gets worse when you breathe deeply.”

A blood clot can turn dangerous or fatal quickly, so if you begin experiencing both chest pain and heavy breathing at once, you’ll want to drop what you’re doing and go to the urgent care.

blood clot

5. Shortness of breath

If you find that you’re having more trouble breathing than usual and getting winded more often, it might be a sign that you have a blood clot. Shortness of breath will often be accompanied by a fluttering sensation in your chest, dizziness, and a racing heart. When all of these symptoms occur together, it’s a sign that you may have a blood clot in your lungs, and you’ll want to seek medical attention immediately.

6. Unexplained coughing

Of course, coughing often accompanies the flu, a cold, or even a sore throat after a night out. But when none of those things have occurred, an unexplained cough can be an early warning sign of a blood clot. You’ll most likely have other symptoms along with the cough, such as shortness of breath, racing heart, dizziness or other blood clot symptoms. Keep an eye out for other symptoms of a blood clot if you have a cough that you can’t seem to get rid of.

7. Vomiting or Diarrhea

While these two symptoms can also be a sign of the flu, you may find that these symptoms are often more severe and out of the blue regarding a blood clot. If these symptoms don’t get better after a few days, you’ll want to seek medical attention. You may be experiencing a blood clot within your abdomen, which could be dangerous if left untreated.

8. Chronic headaches

Many people get chronic headaches, but these will most likely be very severe. In fact, they may be strong enough to incapacitate you and make it hard to focus. You may also find that taking medication will not improve your headaches. If this is the case, you may want to seek medical attention, as this could indicate a blood clot in your brain.

blood clot

Final Thoughts on Blood Clot Warnings

Blood clots may sound scary, but if you keep your eye out for the symptoms, you may be able to catch the early warning signs in time to make sure that you get all of the medical attention you need. It’s good to know the signs of a blood clot even if you’re not at risk for them because you may have friends or family members who are. If they don’t know what to look for you, you may be able to help them get the attention they need for a potentially dangerous blood clot.

How to Make Your Brain Have More Energy, According to Science

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“It’s often said that people hate change. As a biologist and executive coach, I’d say, more specifically, it’s our tired and worn our brains that hate it.” – Margaret Moore

To learn anything is to demand a lot of our brain. As Margaret Moore, CEO of Wellcoaches Corporation explains, “From your brain’s point of view, change means learning something new; which means creating new connections. That is a complex biological process which doesn’t go well if the brain isn’t ready for it.”

The current state of our overworked lives makes it difficult for the brain to reserve energy – and, hence, to produce energy when needed. Energy is a finite resource within the body – it must be monitored and replenished, or we will quickly burn out. Couple the busy-ness of everyday life with unhealthy eating/sleeping/lifestyle habits, and it becomes nearly impossible for our brains to keep up.

The good news is that you can reverse that trend with a few simple changes.

Here are a few easy ways to do this:

1. Improve Your Habits

Your habits either support or suppress function and growth. For example, research shows that brain cells produce nerve growth factors (NGF) with just 30 minutes of moderate daily exercise. Sleep and a balanced diet help the brain learn and remember things much easier.

Moderate exercise, regular sleep, and a proper diet are the three most important components of replenishing your brain’s resources. Further, when we practice all three of these habits on a regular basis, we encourage cellular growth.. Neuroplasticity makes it possible for us to expand the cognitive properties throughout life! And our habits have a huge influence on this process.

2. Challenge It

Just as our body requires exercise to gain muscle and increase endurance, our brain needs similar training. A powerful way to challenge the brain is to increase cognitive flexibility. For example, reading something for 30 minutes encourages the accumulation of new ideas, perspectives, and interests. You may also engage in activities that expand your current knowledge on a subject.

Working memory is the raw material for creativity. This raw material can be built up through the absorption of new information.

3. Give it a rest

Most scientists state that our brain contains nearly 100 billion neurons. Despite weighing only about 3 pounds, it consumes 20 to 25 percent of our body’s energy resources. It monitors and controls pretty much everything that we do.

Therefore, it gets tired quickly. Experts recommend taking a “brain break” at least every hour, or more often if you feel tired and stressed.

A few ideas: get out of your chair and walk, shift to an easy task like some light cleaning, do a set of pushups, or just let your mind daydream. Moore states “Many creative breakthroughs arrive when your brain is defocused,” so make sure to give it a rest once in a while.

4. Think positive

If you’re dwelling on the negative, your brain cannot perform at peak levels. In fact, research has shown that it’s impossible to hold a negative and positive thought at the same time.

Negative emotions weaken creativity, thinking, memory, and planning. Positive emotions improve every one of these four capacities!

We all get caught up in negative thinking from time to time. The good news is that we can shift to positive thoughts by doing something enjoyable – it’s that simple! Find something funny on the web, talk to a friend, play a quick game, do a crossword puzzle, or something else; whatever it takes to get you into a better state of mind.

Dr. Daniel Amen, author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, says, “The brain is involved in everything you do. Your brain controls everything you do, feel, and think. When you look in the mirror, you can thank you brain for what you see.”

Dr. Amen is perhaps the most well-known advocate of creating a healthy “brain lifestyle.” Our brain and body are connected in so many ways that it’s difficult to comprehend.

The Buddha once said, “What you think, you become.” Neuroscience has affirmed and reaffirmed Buddha’s sentiments. We must take an active role in caring for our brain by improving our habits, engaging in novel challenges, prioritizing rest, and thinking positive thoughts.

When we do these things, we are inching closer to reaching our highest cognitive potential. The question is: Are you willing to do what’s necessary to get there?

References:
http://business.time.com/2013/07/09/train-your-tired-brain/
https://hbr.org/video/2235569163001/prepare-your-brain-for-change
https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/28913.Daniel_G_Amen
https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2012/feb/28/how-many-neurons-human-brain

8 Behaviors People Don’t Realize They Display Because They Are Spiritually Awake

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A spiritual awakening feels a lot like being a kid in a candy store – you get excited and overwhelmed simultaneously. You want to savor all the flavors, but don’t know where to start. This new world makes you feel good in ways you couldn’t imagine, but you can’t quite describe it to anyone. The spiritually awakened people know this feeling all too well, and eventually, they adopt new behaviors that they might not even realize they’re displaying.

If you have begun the process of spiritually awakening or been on your journey for a while, you might want to read on for things you might do or say that you aren’t even aware of.

Here are 8 things you might unknowingly do if you’re spiritually awake:

spiritually awake

1. You don’t believe everything you hear or read.

If you heard it on the mainstream news, you most certainly don’t believe it. At least you don’t believe them until you double and triple check sources. Of course, you hardly ever watch the news, instead going to alternative sources to keep informed. You question everything. Furthermore, you are on a constant mission to learn more throughout life.

Also, awakened people tend to overanalyze everything in their lives. Their introspective nature can be blamed for this, because any decision they make is often followed by hours of rumination and possible reconsideration. In addition to questioning their environment, they also question themselves and their choices, no matter how sure they might’ve been initially.

2. You don’t follow the mainstream.

Expanding upon the last point, you march to the beat of your drum whether you’re aware of this fact or not. Go out to the bar? Nah, you’d rather stay in and watch Netflix documentaries and make a healthy dinner. Get a 9-5? You tried that and didn’t like it; self-employment is more your gig. Go shopping on Black Friday? Are you kidding? You wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those stores at that hour of day.

I think you get our point.

Whatever society does, you tend to do the opposite.

You take care of your mind, body and soul by engaging in self-care, eating a healthy diet, exercising, meditating, and other activities that “spiritually awakened” folks do. It’s not that you think you’re better than anyone; it’s just that you know what feels best to you, so you follow it. You don’t try to be different, but it just comes naturally to you.

3. Spiritual people want to save the world.

If you’re an awakened soul, you probably can’t understand why this world operates how it does. You know that we can’t keep polluting our environment, spreading hate, engaging in senseless wars and violence, and living so disconnectedly if we want to thrive and help others do the same.

People might call you a “dreamer” or “silly hippie,” but you know that helping one another and living cohesively is the only way that makes sense anymore. You don’t care what others think, and try to assist others however you can. You are probably a highly empathetic, caring person, and that it makes it even harder to live in the world as it is today.

awake

4. You really like alone time.

Seeing as you don’t agree with most of the activities the world engages in, you don’t spend too much time around people. You would rather enjoy your own company and bask in the silence that it offers. You feel anxious and unbalanced in crowded, noisy places, so you tend to steer clear of them if at all possible. Bookstores, coffee shops and nature are up your alley, so you can most likely be found in one of those three environments. Of course, if you’re not in your bed curled up with a good book and a cup of tea.

5. Spiritually awake people stay open to new ideas.

While you might have your own thoughts and opinions about the world, you don’t close yourself off to new perspectives and ideas. Awakened people have silenced their egos enough to understand that their ideas might not be the best ones out there, and are open to hearing what other people have to say. As humans, we constantly evolve and learn, leaving much room for improvement.

You know that the world needs help, and that it starts with us. If we all listen to each other’s ideas and try to formulate plans, we will get somewhere in time.

6. You always give people advice.

The people who know you know that you think a little outside the box and offer a unique perspective. They feel they can trust you to give solid advice, so they come to you often. Spiritually awakened people might not recognize how often they’re called upon for help, because they’re so used to others approaching them for assistance.

You are approachable and kind, which makes you the perfect person for someone who just needs a listening ear and words of wisdom.

7. You tend to dislike authority.

You probably don’t realize that you do this. But you always question authority and don’t feel threatened by those in a higher position than you. You know they are just people underneath their badges and uniforms, and you talk to them as someone on your level rather than someone above you. While you probably follow society’s laws for the most part, you don’t like how the system is set up, which gives you an aversion to the law and those who enforce it.

8. You find the deeper meaning in everything.

You see the universe and all its mystery as something to be contemplated and discussed. Indeed, you don’t like idle chit-chat and small talk; you’d rather sit for hours with someone discussing quantum physics, galaxies, aliens, etc. Gossip and other lowly topics don’t interest you, so you steer clear of people spreading it. You’re always searching for the meaning of life, and you take time to notice the little signs from the universe, like 11:11 on the clock or a butterfly landing on your fingertips.

You view these little blessings as signs from the universe and don’t believe in coincidences. Everything happens for a reason, even if you don’t know the reason.

people

Final Thoughts on Spiritually Awake People

Spiritually awake people often share characteristics such as the following:

  • Being rebels
  • Not following the mainstream
  • Eating organically
  • An interest in the universe and its mystery, etc.

However, there are more subtle traits of the spiritually awakened, and many on this journey don’t even recognize that they display these behaviors because they are so ingrained in them.

You’re probably spiritually awakened if you relate to the abovementioned behaviors. You might not even know it! We wish you the best on your journey and hope you find peace and happiness on your spiritual quest. 🙂

How to Release Attachments To Someone Who’s Too Toxic For Your Life

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Toxic people can enter our lives through all kinds of avenues: friends, family, significant others. We may not always notice when toxic people enter our lives – or, when we do, it’s already too late for us to turn around and walk away. Letting go of a toxic person can be difficult, especially because it is within a toxic person’s nature to make it as hard as possible.

Author Shahida Arabi said, “When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Many survivors are used to the “wait and see” tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter. You never have justify your intuition.”

Fortunately, there are ways to slowly release your attachment to someone in your life who is way too toxic to be there, whether they’re a family member, a close friend, or someone that you once thought you were in love with. Getting rid of toxic people in our lives means that we can experience life more fully and with more joy than if we were to let them continue sucking the positivity out of our lives. If you’re struggling to release your attachment to a toxic person, here are some good tips to follow.

toxic people

4 Ways To Release Yourself From The Clutches Of Toxic People

“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” – Israelmore Ayivor

1. Don’t give in to their demands

The first step is to make sure that you’re no longer giving them everything they ask for. Toxic people almost always want what they want, and they want it now. They demand that everyone around them cater to their every wish and demand without bothering to give anything back.

“No one can please everyone all the time, so please don’t even try. People who receive your thankless and unreciprocated giving on a regular basis are also more likely to take it for granted. There’s power that comes with exercising your right to set boundaries and say “no”,” says author and private coach Preston Ni, M.S.B.A.

When you stop giving in, they realize that you won’t be pushed around anymore. They may try to reinforce their control over you, but standing your ground and refusing to give them what they want means they’ll have to go elsewhere to get it. That means that you’ll be more easily able to let go of your attachment once they’re no longer dependent on you to give them what they desire.

2. Put your needs first

You’re the only person that you can rely on one hundred percent. You may be able to lean on friends, family members, and significant others to help you in times of need or stress, but you’re always going to be the first and only person to have your own back. So, put yourself first.

“What often happens to those who simply give in and put themselves last is that eventually – sooner rather than later, one hopes—that person will realize that she or he is unhappy and resentful, more so when they realize it’s their own responsibility in this,” says Isadora Alman, M.F.T, a licensed therapist, author, and lecturer.

Therefore, put your needs above the needs of the toxic individual in your life. Learn to replace your attachment of the toxic person with an attachment for yourself. Love yourself, and release any feelings that you have for the toxic person. Learning to rely and trust yourself and put your own needs first is the best way to make sure that you’re no longer relying on your attachments towards a toxic person.

toxic

3. Question them

Toxic people are often used to never being questioned about their behavior. Learning to question what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, what they say and why they say it will help you pull yourself out of the toxic mindset you might have adopted while hanging around with them. Once you start questioning things, you’ll find that their answers just don’t add up. They may be saying and doing things for their own personal gain. That means they probably don’t care about you as much as you thought. Once you realize that they don’t really care about you, breaking that attachment to them will be easier.

4. Find a support system

Whether you reach out to other friends, your family members, your significant other or even a counselor, finding a support system is one of the best ways to release yourself of attachments that you feel towards a toxic person in your life. Being able to talk to someone about the toxic things that are being done to you or around you will make it easier to realize how bad things really are.

“Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation,” says author Dr. Travis Bradberry, Ph.D.

Without an outside perspective, you may think that the toxic behavior exhibited by the person is normal. Once you’re free from that toxic echo chamber, releasing that attachment you still have to them will be easier.

Final thoughts on releasing unhealthy attachments to toxic people

Toxic people come in all types of relationships, and their toxicity may be hard to see at times. The most important thing is to realize what a toxic person does, and how a toxic person behaves. Once you know, you’ll be able to work on releasing the attachments that have formed – both by yourself and by the toxic person. After all, if you’re attached to them, they may also be attached to you as a victim. Once you’re no longer a perfect victim, they’ll easily become bored and move on to someone that they can control. Warning the people close to you of what they have done will make it harder for them to pick up a new victim.

Researchers Explain How Depression Damages Parts of Your Brain

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Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) is a prevalent psychiatric disease and one of the leading causes of disability worldwide. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 16 million U.S. adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2012 – or about 7 percent of the population.

Between 20 to 25 percent of adults may suffer at least one episode of major depression at some point during their lifetime. Children, teens, and older adults also suffer from MDD.

Per WebMD, Major Depression (or Clinical Depression) is “marked by a depressed mood most of the day, sometimes particularly in the morning, and a loss of interest in normal activities and relationships – symptoms that are present every day for at least 2 weeks.”

According to the DSM-5, the manual used to diagnose mental health disorders, additional symptoms of MDD include:

– Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day

– Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day

– Impaired concentration, indecisiveness

– Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day

– Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day (called anhedonia, this symptom can be indicated by reports from significant others)

– Restlessness or feeling slowed down

– Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

– Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month)

Learning from Prior Depression Research

depression

Despite considerable efforts to “peel back” depression’s multiple layers, including the cause(s) of MDD, scientists’ understanding of depression remains somewhat limited. Small sample sizes, numerous sub-categories of depression, varying treatment methods, and nuanced collection and interpretation of data have made uniformly accepted conclusions difficult.

To overcome the limitations of past scientific research, scientists – in a study published in the journal Molecular Psychiatry – used a meta-analysis, combining data from 15 different studies.

The main limitations cited prior were accounted for, and the study’s researchers believe that their findings represent the most accurate findings thus far as they pertain to the neurobiological causes and effects of depression.

“To address the limited statistical power of prior studies and overcome some of the issues of the (meta-analyses) … from single studies, we (used) the Enhancing Neuro Imaging Genetics through Meta-Analysis (ENIGMA) consortium.”

In everyday terms, the researchers used a very reliable source for analysis. ENIGMA is an international effort – a collaboration between six different countries.

The team used a total of 8,927 magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) brain scans. 7,199 MRIs were from healthy individuals, and 1,728 images were from MDD-diagnosed patients.

Depression and the Brain

depression

For the sake of brevity (not turning this article into a research paper of its own), we’re going to highlight and describe some of the study’s most significant findings. The main findings are as follows:

1. MDD patients showed a “significantly lower” hippocampal volume

– The hippocampus is a part of the brain’s limbic system. The region plays critical roles in consolidating information from short-term to long-term memory. It also processes spatial memory that enables navigation.

– The hippocampus of MDD patients was approximately 11.2 percent smaller than in non-MDD brains.

2. MDD patients had a smaller amygdala, too.

– The amygdala is an almond-shaped set of neurons deep in the brain’s medial temporal lobe. It plays a key role in the processing of emotions.

– The amygdala of MDD patients was approximately 4 percent smaller than non-MDD brains.

3. MDD patients showed an enlargement of the lateral ventricles.

– The ventricles of the brain are a communicating network of cavities filled with cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). Enlargement of the lateral ventricles is tied to a loss of brain volume.

– Brain scans showed a difference of about 3 percent in the size of lateral ventricles between the two groups.

4. Shrinkage was more pronounced in MDD patients whose symptoms originated before age 21.

5. Early diagnosis of MDD may mitigate some of the brain-altering effects.

– “This study puts the emphasis (on) early identification of the more severe persistent or recurrent cases … because they’re the ones who will be most harmed from a brain point of view.”

depressed person

Final Thoughts on Depression

Although the main points derived from this article may appear depressing, there’s some light at the end of the tunnel.

First, understanding the effects of depression creates an opportunity for more targeted treatment. Paul Fitzgerald, Professor of Psychiatry at Monash University: “Having a better understanding of the regional volume differences will provide greater capacity to draw conclusions.”

Second, depression’s effects on the brain are reversible with the appropriate treatment. Recently, scientists from Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital discovered that “non-pharmaceutical” treatments, including cognitive exercises, improved the memory, executive functioning, and processing speed of depressive patients.

Sources:
http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/depression-damages-parts-brain-research-concludes/
https://www.brainhq.com/media/pressreleases/first-study-show-brain-training-can-help-bipolar-disorder
https://www.healthline.com/human-body-maps/lateral-ventricles
https://www.nature.com/articles/mp201569#results
https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/major-depression#1

10 Signs You’re Dealing With A Superficial Person

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“If you describe someone as superficial, you disapproved of them because they do not think deeply, and have little understanding of anything serious or important.” ~ Collins Dictionary

What does a superficial person look like?

It’s rather funny that nearly every definition of superficial or can be applied to a person. Let’s look at the definitions of superficial from Dictionary.com (emphases are from the dictionary):

  1. “being at, on, or near the surface: a superficial wound.”

This definition may be describing a wound, but superficial people are all about surface impressions.

  1. “of or relating to the surface: superficial measurement.”

When “sizing up” a superficial person, you won’t see much depth.

  1. “external or outward: a superficial resemblance.”

Many-a superstitious person are infatuated with their outward appearance.

  1. “concerned with or comprehending only what is on the surface or obvious: a superficial observer.”

See the pattern yet?

  1. “shallow; not profound or thorough: a superficial writer.”

And finally…

  1. “apparent rather than real.”

In summary, superficial people focus outward; lack emotional and intellectual depth, and are perceptually shallow.

Does this sound like a person you want to hang out with?

(P.S., We could’ve also included “displaying a lack of thoroughness or care,” “only outwardly apparent rather than genuine or actual,” “of little substance or significance,” and “lacking originality.”)

What a superficial person isn’t: reliable, empathetic, altruistic, deep.

In short, these aren’t the folks you want to call at 2 in the morning when there’s an emergency. Should you ever need to do so, here’s what you can expect to discover.

Here are some traits that a superficial person might possess:

1. No “inner compass.”

You know how most decent people remain grounded in certain beliefs and principles? How these tenets set a foundation for their life choices?

Yeah, these people don’t have that.

No belief or opinion can’t be altered or rendered mute. While this may sound harsh, superficial people are not grounded in anything.

Why? Because that would require a depth of thought – a shakeup of one’s attitudes and behaviors. Shallow individuals can’t be bothered with that.

2. An overemphasis on physical attraction.

There’s nothing wrong with admiring someone’s physical allure. There is something wrong with placing physical attraction as the top criteria.

Superficial people actually pride themselves on hanging out and hooking up only with individuals who meet their physical “standards.”

3. Zero self-awareness.

Unless it has to do with their appearance, these folks lack the ability for introspection or self-observation entirely. They’re either unwilling or unable to examine feelings, thoughts, and behaviors with any attention.

The only time these people will alter their behavior is if someone of “high status” admonishes them in some way. And any change won’t last long.

4. Overly materialistic.

Surprise, surprise!

The word materialistic, which assuredly applies to the superficial, is defined by the Oxford English Dictionaries as:

“Excessively concerned with physical comforts or the acquisition of wealth and material possessions, rather than with spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.”

Speaking of which…

5. A striking absence of intelligence

We’re not talking about I.Q. scores (though one could make an argument here). No, we’re referring to self-intelligence; more specifically, a basic understanding of things like the social contract, manners, grace, gratitude, and others.

Exhibit ‘A’: Kim Kardashian.

6. Overly judgmental

We’ve all held ignorant beliefs about a person or group of people at one time or another. The difference between rational, non-judgmental people and the superficial is that the former doesn’t habitually judge others.

Superficial people are unabashedly judgmental. They will form negative opinions about someone without any evidence.

7. Living to gossip

A conversation with someone superficially-inclined will probably involve a fair amount of gossip and empty talk. Combine their insatiable need to spout gossip with a stunning lack of self-awareness, and you’ve got a one-sided conversation from hell.

Our advice? Say nothing and walk away.

8.Relishing the center of attention

Ever notice how some celebrities make it a point of acting asinine when the spotlight is redirected? That’s because they’re borderline narcissistic about being the center of attention.

The same goes for our superficial friends. They’re seemingly unable to grasp the difference between good and bad attention. As such, they’ll overreact, spread rumors, or something else. Whatever it takes to get people talking about them again.

9. Social media’ing everyone to death

“Oh, look, a status update…and there’s another.”

“An album full of selfies?”

“Huh, photoshopped sushi…”

Okay, you get the idea. Do yourself a favor and don’t ‘friend’ someone who’s about as deep as a puddle.

10. An extreme sense of entitlement

Healthy, responsible adults have all discovered a fundamental truth about life: the world gives us nothing. Either we work for something or go without, period.

Superficial people possess a sense of entitlement that nearly dwarfs their ego (no small task.) They “deserve” nice clothes, the best house, a new car, and the best-looking partner, just for being them.

Sources:
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/superficial
http://www.kaagmandumagazine.com/2016/04/7-signs-of-shallow-people.html
http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-life/superficial-person-signs
https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/4561/5-ways-sense-entitlement-reveals/
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/superficial

Scientists Reveal How to Train Your Brain To Prevent Unwanted Thoughts

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Researchers at the University of Cambridge have identified a key chemical within the brain that allows us to suppress unwanted (intrusive) thoughts.

Dr. Michael Anderson, a neuroscience professor, and his team of researchers at the University of Cambridge discovered this chemical within the brain region responsible for memory formation.

“Our ability to control our thoughts is fundamental to our well-being. When this capacity breaks down, it causes some of the most debilitating symptoms of psychiatric diseases.” ~ Professor Michael Anderson, University of Cambridge

Further, the research helps explain why individuals with certain mental health conditions – e.g., anxiety, depression, PTSD, and schizophrenia – often contend with continuously invasive thoughts.

The ability to control thoughts is crucial to mental and physical well-being, says Professor Anderson:

“When this capacity breaks down, it causes some of the most debilitating symptoms of psychiatric diseases: intrusive memories, images, hallucinations, ruminations, and pathological and consistent worries. These are all key symptoms of mental illnesses such as PTSD, schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety.”

In many ways, the ability to halt negative thinking is akin to that physical restraint. “We wouldn’t be able to survive without controlling our actions,” says Anderson. “We have lots of quick reflexes that are often useful, but we need to control these actions and stop them from happening.”

Anderson assumes that us humans also have a “similar mechanism” for stopping unwanted thoughts.

The Prefrontal Cortex, or PFC, supports our “executive function” brain area. The PFC connects to planning complex behaviors, paying attention, critical thinking, solving problems, self-awareness, decision-making, social cognition, and working memory.

The PFC can also be considered the brain’s “control center,” regulating other brain regions such as the motor cortex and hippocampus.

It wasn’t until recently that an area of the PFC was discovered to also play an essential role in stopping unwanted thoughts.

The Study

Anderson’s research was published in Nature Communications on November 3, 2017.

Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and magnetic resonance spectroscopy (measures brain chemistry), researchers observed participants’ brains as they attempted to suppress their thoughts on a given task.

Spectroscopy feedback showed that “the ability to inhibit unwanted thoughts relies on a neurotransmitter – a chemical within the brain that allows messages to pass between cells – known as GABA.”

GABA is the brain’s primary inhibitory neurotransmitter, which helps to regulate the activity of exhibitory (‘excitatory’) transmitters, e.g., glutamate and dopamine.

Here is a summation of Anderson’s findings, point by point:

  • GABA concentrations within the hippocampus, the brain area responsible for memory formation, determines a person’s ability to inhibit unwanted thoughts.
  • Suppressing unwanted thoughts depends “as much” on PFC activity as the hippocampus. (This bucks the trend, as most neuroscientists focus on the PFC for such roles.)
  • People with lower concentrations of GABA within the hippocampus “were less able to suppress (activity) by the prefrontal cortex,” suppressing thought at a much lower rate.
  • The study’s discoveries may lead to additional insights – and potential treatment options – for schizophrenia. (Schizophrenics display hyperactivity in the hippocampus, which is thought responsible for hallucinations and other intrusive symptoms.)

Scientists Reveal How to Train Your Brain To Prevent Unwanted Thoughts

Boosting GABA levels:

As Anderson’s research is very recent, potential treatments have not yet been examined. However, correcting a GABA deficiency, a neurochemical imbalance, can help suppress unwanted thoughts.

For those dealing with invasive thoughts, increasing the levels of GABA in the brain may help. Fortunately, there are plenty of natural ways to do this.

Here are a few known GABA boosters:

  • Exercise: Increasing your heart rate can boost your GABA levels. Brisk walking or running three to four times per week may contribute to higher levels of GABA.
  • Meditation: Quieting your busy mind and focusing on deep breaths may help increase GABA levels. Try meditating for ten to fifteen minutes to start.
  • Yoga: Focusing on the present moment may help boost GABA levels. Additionally, yoga focuses on deep breathing, which helps reduce stress and anxiety.
  • Proper Diet: Avoid soft drinks, MSG, and processed foods as much as possible. Instead, eat foods rich in glutamic acid, a building block of GABA.

thoughts

Foods high in glutamic acid include:

  • Almonds and walnuts
  • Bananas
  • Beef liver
  • Broccoli
  • Brown rice
  • Halibut
  • Lentils
  • Oats
  • Citrus fruits
  • Potato
  • Rice bran
  • Spinach

11 Signs You’re In A Bad Relationship (But Don’t Want to Admit It)

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Being in a harmful or toxic relationship is often something that we don’t realize that we’re in until we’re out of it. Bad relationships can invade every other aspect of our lives, from friendships to family relationships. They can make you feel depressed or anxious for no reason.

Marriage & family therapist and author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT says, “Healthy relationships nourish and support us. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is like poison to us — instead of lifting us up, it makes us feel worse. When it ends, we might experience post-traumatic stress or a lessening of self-esteem and trust in ourselves and others.”

When you’re in a bad relationship, you’re probably ignoring all the signs – it’s what we do as humans to protect ourselves. If you’re in a toxic relationship, you may notice these signs pointing toward a dire situation you don’t want to admit.

Here Are 11 Signs You’re In A Bad Relationship

“A Poisonous relationship can alter our perception. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless.  But you’re not worthless.  You’re underappreciated.”  – Steve Maraboli

1. You’re wondering if your relationship is bad

One of the first signs that you’re not actually in a good relationship is questioning whether or not your relationship is bad because “This is your subconscious telling you something,” says Relationship expert and couples therapist Nicole McCance.

You may have rough patches in normal relationships but aren’t constantly wondering if your relationship is bad. But a bad relationship will have you wondering if your relationship is garbage – and that’s the first sign that you should be looking critically at your relationship.

toxic relationships

2. You don’t feel like a priority

Does your partner put you first when you need it? Does your partner seem like the kind of person who will drop everything and help you when it’s really important? If not, then you’re probably in a relationship where you don’t feel like a priority to your partner. While we can’t always be top priorities, you should feel your partner cares about you.

3. If they don’t want to do something, then you can’t do it either

In a relationship, you sometimes have to do things you don’t want to do because it’s important to your partner, or because you want to make them happy. You may go see a movie you’re not interested in because your partner likes it. But in a bad relationship, if your partner doesn’t want to do something, then you probably won’t be allowed to do it either. If your partner doesn’t want to go to a movie, you’ll probably not be able to see it.

In a toxic relationship, “… you are constantly put down, criticised and forced to do what is unacceptable to you and your values. When your autonomy in thoughts, words, and decisions is taken away and you start actually believing and accepting that you have no choice in any matter,” says psychotherapist and relationship counselor Dr. Minnu Bhonsle Ph.D.

4. Your friends and family dislike your partner

You have probably been on the other end of this situation. A friend or family member has been in a bad relationship, and you didn’t like their partner. If you’re suddenly on the opposite side of that, you may want to take your friends and family’s concern seriously. If your partner isn’t well-liked, it might be for a reason.

5. Their problems are your problems

And your problems … are also your problems. This is a red flag. When your partner wants you to help with all of their problems, but doesn’t want to help you with yours, this is a sign that your relationship is just plain bad. You need to have a relationship where both partners help each other equally.

bad relationship

6. You don’t trust them

If your significant other is working late or hanging out with their friends, you’re suddenly worried about what they’re doing. You may be trying to tell yourself there’s no reason to worry, but … if you’re worried, it’s probably for a good reason.

Clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., says, “When there is no trust there is no foundation. You can’t address communication issues, compatibility issues, and intimacy issues if there is no trust. If you fundamentally don’t trust your partner on any level, the relationship is poisoned.”

You shouldn’t have to worry about what your partner is up to in a good and healthy relationship.

7. You’re happier when they’re not around

If your partner goes on a trip or leaves for the night, you may feel a huge rush of relief. And that’s not normal!

“If you’re all that excited to have a weekend alone, consider that the reason for your joy is that they’re draining you when they’re around. You should be happy to have a break, but not that happy,” says relationship expert and author April Masini.

You may try to tell yourself that you’re an introvert, but the truth is that you’re just happier when your partner isn’t around. This is the biggest sign of an unhappy or bad relationship.

8. You pay for everything

You’re always paying for food, bills, rent, entertainment, and furniture… no matter what it is. Your partner have you not seen a dime. This is a big sign that you’re being used, and being used is a sign that you’re in a bad situation.

9. You’re constantly worried about breaking up

No matter what kind of disagreement you have, you are always worried about breaking up. You could disagree about what to have for dinner, or whose family’s house to go to for Christmas. Whatever the disagreement is, it always seems to spiral out of control to an argument that feels like the end of your love.

10. They’re always mentally elsewhere

When you’re spending time together, your partner seems like they’re just mentally distant. They’re not engaging with you or the things you’re doing together. They may always be on their phone or sound or look bored. You may think it’s just you, but that’s false. This is a red flag that you’re in a bad relationship and it’s time to move on.

11. You’re trying to remember the good times

When things get bad, you’re always trying to remember when things were good. This may be only the first few months of the relationship, or they may be only certain snippets of time. This is a sign that the situation is bad and doesn’t show any sign of getting better.

“If you’re starting to have thoughts like, ‘This is not like it used to be,’ ‘This is not what I signed up for,’ or ‘This doesn’t feel good anymore,’ it is possible that what was a good relationship has turned toxic. If you find that your partner doesn’t feel much like a partner or lover any longer—and he or she is bringing you down more than lifting you up, you need to rethink your relationship.” says love expert Sofia Milan.

Therefore, if you’re not looking forward to more good times and are only looking back, you might need to accept that the situation is bad.

toxic relationship

Final Thoughts on Your Involvement in a Toxic Relationship

Bad relationships are hard to accept, especially in the middle of one.

“If you are experiencing a toxic relationship, then you likely move in and out of a state of denial about how unhealthy it truly is. At one moment you feel revulsion and at another you are making excuses and justifying your partner’s intolerable behavior,” says relationship expert, psychologist and author Jill P. Weber, Ph.D.

Admitting to yourself that your relationship is bad or toxic is one of the first steps  to take in order to escape them. If your relationship sounds a lot like this list, it may be time to start considering that it’s time to leave the situation and find someone who appreciates you.

7 Early Warning Signs of A Dying Relationship

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“You don’t walk away to prove your worth. You walk away because you allowed someone else to dictate your value and you found yourself believing it.” – Shannon L. Alder

Relationships can be a lot of work, and keeping them running can mean a lot of stress for the individuals in a relationship. When a relationship is good and healthy, all of that work and stress is working towards a common and shared goal and “It’s important to remember that all couples have perpetual problems and can develop tools to deal with them,” says licensed clinical social worker Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW.

However, when a relationship becomes more work than fun, it can mean it is slowly dying. “In other words, if you can’t talk about the hard things, you’ll also feel less warmth and affection; and over time less fondness and admiration for your partner,” adds Gaspard.

Has your relationship been through a rough patch lately that doesn’t seem to end? You may want to check out these signs of a dying relationship and see if it’s time to let the relationship go – for your sake and your partner’s.

Here Are 7 Signs Of A Dying Relationship

relationship

1. You don’t talk about personal things anymore

At the beginning of the relationship, maybe you discussed your hopes, dreams, and serious issues in your life. But now, it seems like all of your conversations are rehearsed and rehashed small talk. You’re no longer discussing real, emotional things and instead, seem to only talk about how your day went and what to have for dinner.

“When you share your struggles and difficulties you not only strengthen your bond through your vulnerability but you also set the precedence for an open and nonjudgmental relationship for the future,” says life and wellness coach Dana Peters.

Therefore, it’s clear that the relationship starts to die when there’s nothing left to talk about.

2. You’re never on the same page

When a relationship is dying, your values are no longer as aligned as they once were. “Disagreements turn toxic when your partner can’t even understand where your opinion is coming from,” says relationship coach and author Kira Asatryan.

Perhaps you grew up into two different people than you had been when you first started dating or when you first got married. Important things that mean a lot to you no longer mean the same to your partner, or vice versa. “… disagreeing without understanding the other person’s perspective indicates a deep lack of understanding of the other person… in general. And somebody who doesn’t understand you will not make a great long-term partner,” adds Asatryan.

Whatever the issue, you can never seem to agree.

3. You complain about the same things

The sink is broken. They don’t pick up their laundry. You leave hair in the drain. Whatever the issue, the complaint arises over and over, and it never gets fixed. This means that you and your partner are no longer actively trying to make the other happy. The things that upset you go in one ear and out of the other. When this happens, a relationship starts to die.

4. You argue more often

At the beginning of your relationship, maybe everything was so happy and wonderful that you never argued at all. But now, it seems like all you do is argue. And the arguments are all about mundane or superficial things … or, maybe they’re the exact same argument that you’ve been having for years that never seems to have an end, and there’s no way to resolve.

“As couples get to know each other better, there should be a progression toward more understanding and less misunderstanding,” says psychoanalyst Sue Kolod, PhD. Therefore, more arguments mean that there’s less compromise, which means the relationship is dying.

dying relationship

5. You want more space

When your partner visits their parents, or goes on a business trip, you get a huge sense of relief at having space to yourself. You no longer miss your partner during the day like you once did, and you feel your need for “space” increasing more frequently.

“If you’re all that excited to have a weekend alone, consider that the reason for your joy is that they’re draining you when they’re around,” says relationship expert April Masini. Wanting more space is a huge, red flag of a dying relationship when you no longer want to be around your partner, or are happier when they’re not around.

6. You don’t feel like yourself

When you’re around your partner, do you feel more anxious, depressed or uncomfortable than you used to? Are you no longer the happy, talkative person that you once were? A dying relationship can make you feel all kinds of upset and negative emotions, and you suddenly no longer feel like yourself anymore. Maybe your friends and family notice that your personality has begun to change. This is a sign that a relationship is on its last leg.

7. You’re unsure about your future

When thinking about your future, are you suddenly no longer envisioning yourself with them by your side? Has your small family home in the suburbs suddenly turned into a vision of a studio in New York? If you no longer think about them in your future, it may be a sign that they’re not destined to be there. A dying relationship will no longer feel like something that you can look forward to in the future.

relationship

Final Thoughts on Understanding the Signs of a Dying Relationship

While we all want to keep our relationships as happy and healthy as possible, sometimes two people just don’t work out in a relationship. And that’s okay! No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always a chance that you both need to move on from one another. If that is the case, knowing the early warning signs of a dying relationship will allow you to move on, or work on fixing it if that is something you and your partner want to do.

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