“The most profound relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.” – Shirley Maclaine
Everyone needs reminders every once in a while. Even if we think that we’re strong enough to make it through our lives without some extra positive affirmations, it’s a good idea to give yourself little reminders anyway. They can do a lot to boost your confidence and self-esteem in a big way.
But how do positive affirmations work?
“The reason we feel better when speaking these positive thoughts as verbal statements is because the positive energy of good thoughts and pictures in our mind raises our vibrational frequency and causes chemical changes in our body that tell us we’re happy,” says certified life coach and hypnotherapist Kelly Rudolph.
It’s also good to remind yourself of things when it feels like life just isn’t going your way, or when you feel like things are too much. Keep these reminders in your pocket for when you need them.
Here Are 10 Simple Reminders Every Single Woman Needs To Hear
1. Your relationship with yourself is the best you’ll ever have
Sure, romantic relationships are nice. It’s good to have a support system and to feel loved and appreciated by another person. But no relationship with another person will ever top the relationship that you have with yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, and you know what you need and deserve. Your relationship with yourself is the single most important and best relationship that you’ll ever have.
2. Your other relationships are dependent on your relationship with yourself
Whether these outside relationships are social, platonic, familial or romantic, you won’t be able to have a fulfilling and happy relationship with other people if you neglect the relationship that you have with yourself.
“It is not selfish to care about yourself. Compassion for yourself means showing concern for your own feelings as well as for others. Treat yourself the way you would treat your children or your best friend—with gentleness, concern and caring,” says author Deborah Ward.
You need to treat yourself the way that you want people to treat you – and when people see that you treat yourself well, they’ll be inclined to follow suit.
3. Travel as much as you can
Money, life and obligations can get in the way of traveling – that’s normal! But if you have the financial freedom to do so, travel when you can. Explore new places and experience new cultures. Take in new local traditions and allow yourself to see the world outside your own carefully constructed bubble. It’ll be good for your soul. And health.
“Active travel is proven to lower health risks such as diabetes, metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, heart disease, colon cancer, breast cancer, depression levels and more…” says author Lea Lane.
4. Appreciate and strengthen female relationships
Society and media want to drive the idea home that women can’t be friends with one another because of competitive cattiness. This simply isn’t true. Building, strengthening and appreciating the relationships you have with other women will give you a support system like no other. If you’re a younger woman, it’s especially important to build relationships with older women.
5. Spend less time looking for a lover, and spend more time reflecting on what’s important to you in a relationship
When you spend too much time looking for someone to love you, you may start to take the first person that comes along – and they may not be able to meet your individual needs. Focus on what you want in a relationship, and the qualities that are important to you.
Relationship expert and author Margaret Paul, Ph.D. says, “When two people come together to get love rather than to learn, heal and share love, there is a strong possibility that their relationship won’t last…”
Therefore, when you have a solid idea of what you want, then you can find someone to fill those needs.
“If you tune inside and honestly ask yourself why you want a relationship, and you find yourself on the first list rather than on the second, do not despair. You can learn how to love yourself and fill yourself with love so that you have plenty of love to share with a partner,” adds Paul.
6. Face your loneliness
A lot of fear of being alone comes from the fear of being alone with our own selves. If you find that you’re panicking from being alone, it’s time to face that fear head on. Stop giving it the power to control your life. Once you can deconstruct that fear of loneliness, you’ll be able to live your best life.
7. Your twenties are the foundation of the rest of your life
No, you don’t have to have everything figured out right now. No one has their whole life planned or put together in their twenties. Your twenties are a time to plant seeds, to experiment, to change your major, your career path, your hairstyle – change into who you want to be. You’re only planting the seeds, now. You’ll have plenty of time to reap the rewards.
“In your 20s, it’s easy to rush through life to get as much as you can as quickly as possible. We like to push ourelves to the limit, throw ourselves in the fire and never think we are never going to get burnt. But we do. Instead, think about what makes you happy. You are more than your job. You are a multi-faceted person. Slow down, breathe, and take the time to realize you can create your own happiness in your life, and that doesn’t just mean in your job,” says Amanda Slavin, CEO & Founder, Catalyst Creativ
Don’t let anyone tell you that your life is wasted by 25 – it’s only just beginning.
8. Don’t rush to find “the one” – because you’ll end up with someone you shouldn’t
Rushing yourself into a relationship because you’re desperate to find that one person you’re destined to be with forever will have you entering all kinds of relationships that you shouldn’t. You’ll be much happier when you wait for the one to come to you – so you don’t miss them.
9. Meet as many people that you want
Go on dates, meet people, get intimate – don’t worry about what people are going to say. Only meet as many people as you want, and don’t stop yourself from being intimate just because of societal expectations. This can help you find the qualities that you like in people.
10. Do things alone
Take yourself out to dinner. Take yourself to the movies. Go out and do things by yourself. When you do things by yourself, you’ll be able to focus more on the experience than you will on the people that you’re with.
“First, figure out what makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter what it is, but become aware of how you feel when you do things. Find out what makes you feel good and do it, as often as you can. Feeling good is all the permission you need to do what you love to do. And the more you do those things, the happier you will be,” says Ward.
There’s time for both, but it’s good to have some time to yourself.
These little reminders will allow you to have a more fulfilling life. You won’t be focusing on all of the things that society tells you that you should be doing. Live your life in a way that is best for you, and use these reminders when things start to get tough.