Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Researchers Explain How Chronic Stress Changes Your Brain

Even as adults, our brains are elastic and vulnerable to change. All the things we do every day can have an effect on our brains – some good, some not so good. Stress can change our brains in a major way, even when we’re unaware of it. That is why making sure you know how to battle stress is so important.

It has long been established that stress-related illnesses, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) trigger changes in brain structure, including differences in the volume of gray matter versus white matter, as well as the and size and connectivity of the amygdala,” says endurance athlete, coach and author, Christopher Bergland.

Chronic stress can have an effect on our physical bodies, as well as our brains. Researchers have an answer for what exactly goes on in our brains when they’re subjected to long-term, chronic stress.

Here Are 5 Ways How Chronic Stress Changes Your Brain

“There’s a lot of stress out there, and to handle it, you just need to believe in yourself; always go back to the person that you know you are, and don’t let anybody tell you any different, because everyone’s special and everyone’s awesome.” – McKayla Maroney

1. Affects the production of new brain cells

Our brains are constantly making new brain cells, just the same way that our brains are constantly losing them. When our brains are subjected to chronic stress, it halts the productions of those new brain cells. The things in our brains that cause new brain cells to grow can become disturbed by the effects of stress, which can make it difficult to create new brain cells. This can cause side effects like anxiety, depression and OCD symptoms.

Cortisol creates a surplus of the neurotransmitter glutamate. Glutamate creates free radicals — unattached oxygen molecules — that attack brain cells much in the same way that oxygen attacks metal, causing it to rust. Free radicals actually punch holes in the brain cell walls, causing them to rupture and die,” says author and teacher, Deane Alban.

2. Affects your memories and emotions

Having trouble with our memory is usually the first sign of stress-related issues. Chronic stress can do a number on your short-term memory. It can also make your emotions feel wacky. When you’re dealing with chronic stress, the signals in your brain that are used to help you remember things don’t fire as often. “Ultimately, these changes can affect cognitive function, including changes in learning, memory, and emotional well-being,” says Sundari Chetty, PhD.

3. Stress causes anxiety

Dealing with chronic and long-term stress can affect more than just your short-term emotions. When we are dealing with stress for long periods of time without de-stressing ourselves, the stress can build up in our amygdala, which is the part of the brain that processes fear.

Substantial alterations in myelination have been noted in a number of neurological conditions and could potentially contribute to mental disorders such as anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder,” adds Chetty.

When dealing with chronic stress, our brains can often get stuck in a feedback loop for fear and anxiety, which in turn causes more stress, which in turn causes more fear and anxiety.

emotional addiction to stress

4. Chronic stress causes inflammation in your brain

The same way that stress on your muscles can cause inflammation in your limbs, stress can cause inflammation in your brain. There is an immune cell in our brain that helps fight off disease. When we encounter stress, our brains send off a signal to the immune system, which causes inflammation in the brain. Unfortunately, if there’s nothing there but stress, our brains stay inflamed until the immune system runs its course. Inflammation in the brain has been correlated to different issues, like anxiety, depression and OCD.

Depression is a complex illness and we know that it takes more than one biological change to tip someone into an episode. But we now believe that inflammation in the brain is one of these changes and that’s an important step forward,” says Dr. Jeffrey Meyer.

5. Stress decreases your serotonin

Depression is often linked with chronic stress due to the fact that when our brain faces a lot of stress without any breaks, it often stops producing serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin and dopamine are otherwise known for making our brains happy. When we laugh, smile, see something we like, or have fun, all of these things cause a burst of dopamine and serotonin in our brains, which gives us the signal that “this is good!”.

Unfortunately, stress stops the production of those chemicals, which can cause depression, because our brains are no longer getting the chemicals that help make us happy; instead, they get an unlimited dose of cortisol.

With chronic stress, cortisol doesn’t get switched off…  It’s responsible for weight gain, particularly increased abdominal fat, and it’s been implicated as the leading cause of osteoporosis, digestive problems, hormone imbalances, cancer, heart diseases and diabetes. Cortisol depletes serotonin and dopamine levels. It actually damages the receptor sites of these neurotransmitters,” adds Australian Spinal Research Foundation.

Stress can have all kinds of effects on your brain that can change the makeup of your precious gray matter. Fortunately, our brains are adaptable, and can be repaired when chronic stress starts to take hold. The best thing to do to fight stress is to know just how to relax and de-stress throughout the day so that your brain can stay happy and healthy. Here are some key ways that researchers have found helps de-stress our brains.

Here Are 3 Ways To De-Stress Our Brains

1. Eat antioxidant rich foods

Antioxidants are good for your brain, because they stop the death of brain cells that can be caused by chronic stress. Fruit and vegetables are a good example of foods that you’ll want to eat more of to get a lot of antioxidants. Green tea is also good for antioxidants, so if you’re normally a coffee drinker, you may want to switch to green tea to help protect your brain from stress. Speaking of coffee…

2. Cut down on caffeine

Caffeine is a stimulant, and your when you’re stressed out, the last thing that you need is something else that will amp you up. So, if you’ve got a problem with waking up in the morning and needing your two and a half cups of coffee to get going, you may want to try another method of getting ready for the day.

Caffeine stimulates your nervous system, which means too much can lead to a rapid heartbeat and increase in blood pressure. It can also irritate your digestive system,” says registered dietician Cynthia Sass.

Cutting back of caffeine can really help reduce the amount of stress that you’re under and reduce stress-related brain issues. So, if you’re normally a coffee drinker, you might want to try…

3. Better sleeping habits

Are you a night owl? Or maybe your sleeping habits are all over the place? Stress can be caused by poor sleep habits, so if you’re denying your brain a solid eight hours of sleep, you may need to fix your sleeping patterns.

Sleep deprivation elevates stress hormones and can have negative impacts on the brain, including the hippocampus,” adds Chetty.

Getting better sleep will help you brain recharge those brain cells and make you more capable of fighting off stress during the day. If you’re more able to handle stress, your brain will benefit big time.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201402/chronic-stress-can-damage-brain-structure-and-connectivity
https://bebrainfit.com/effects-chronic-stress-brain/
https://www.rd.com/health/wellness/effects-of-stress-brain/
https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-01/cfaa-nbe012615.php
https://spinalresearch.com.au/chronic-stress-effects-brain/
https://www.shape.com/blogs/weight-loss-coach/four-foods-can-cause-stress

Therapists Reveal 9 Things That Will Keep You From Having A Nervous Breakdown

A nervous breakdown can happen to anyone and often comes on suddenly after intense stress periods. When life’s pressures become overwhelming, your mind and body begin to shut down to avoid further stress. Many people who have a breakdown cannot function normally and take time off work to recuperate. It may also affect other aspects of life, such as family activities, chores, or even general self-care.

When you have a nervous breakdown, it’s your brain’s warning that you need deep rest. You may have ignored some of the warning signs of an impending breakdown, just shrugging it off as everyday anxiety or depression.

However, if the stress keeps building, your mind will eventually sound the alarm bells and force you to slow down. Luckily, you can utilize a few techniques to stave off a nervous breakdown and manage symptoms before they become too severe.

Symptoms of a Nervous Breakdown

While nervous breakdowns aren’t an official medical diagnosis, they usually present with symptoms of anxiety, depression, or panic disorders. Common signs of a breakdown include:

nervous breakdown

  • feeling sad or hopeless
  • having low energy
  • loss of interest in activities
  • feeling helpless or worthless
  • restlessness
  • insomnia
  • panic attacks
  • dizziness
  • gastrointestinal issues such as pain, diarrhea, or constipation
  • stiff muscles
  • intrusive thoughts
  • agoraphobia
  • hallucinations
  • extreme paranoia
  • mood swings

Causes and Risk Factors for Nervous Breakdown

  • recent injury or illness that inhibits functioning in daily life
  • a recent traumatic event, such as an accident or death in the family
  • taking on too much responsibility at work or school
  • being a perfectionist or overachiever
  • a recent breakup or divorce
  • financial problems such as job loss, eviction, or home foreclosure
  • exposure to violence or abuse
  • discrimination
  • moving to a new, unfamiliar city
  • persistent insomnia
  • chronic medical conditions or untreated mental illness
  • working long hours
  • poor social support
  • family history of mental health conditions
  • lacking healthy coping skills to manage stress

Here Are 9 Things That Will Help You Avoid A Nervous Breakdown

Here are a few tips to help you achieve a peaceful mindset.

nervous breakdown

1. Reduce Your Workload to Avoid a Total Breakdown.

A nervous breakdown triggered by stress in the workplace is also known as burnout syndrome. Symptoms may include feeling detached from work, exhaustion, and lower performance at work. Sadly, burnout affects more workers than ever before, with almost 80% of US adult workers experiencing it in 2021. People who work in healthcare professions such as nursing or family medicine have the most significant risk of burnout syndrome.

Suppose you’re feeling overstressed at work, delegate tasks, and request time off periodically. Also, don’t hesitate to ask your boss for a reduced workload if that will help prevent a breakdown in the future. Many people work more than forty hours per week nowadays, but this doesn’t leave much time for self-care and mental health days in general. If possible, perhaps you could work part-time or think about switching careers to something less stressful.

2. Get Treatment For Any Underlying Mental Health Conditions.

Having untreated mental illnesses can easily trigger a nervous breakdown, as having a mental disorder increases vulnerability to stress. Attempting to manage a mental illness combined with the normal stresses of everyday life can lead to a breakdown eventually. Unfortunately, many people with a diagnosable mental health condition never seek treatment. However, most mental disorders have a high recovery rate with a combination of therapy, psychotropic medications, and lifestyle changes.

3. Practice Stress Management Techniques.

Chronic stress dramatically increases your risk of a nervous breakdown because it keeps your body in constant fight-or-flight mode. This response primes your body to respond to an immediate threat, but this survival mechanism can malfunction in modern life. We’re dealing with more stressors in today’s world than our ancestors did, and frankly, we haven’t evolved to manage them yet.

So, we must practice stress-relieving techniques such as deep breathing or meditation to avoid having breakdowns. Set aside at least 30 minutes each morning and evening to unwind, destress and allow the worries to fade from your mind. After a few weeks, you’ll feel lighter and more peaceful.

4. Focus Only on What You Can Control.

Sometimes, the mind is our worst enemy, worrying about so many different scenarios that may not ever happen. When your brain starts to get the best of you, take a few deep breaths and bring yourself back to the present. Remind yourself that you can only control yourself and how you react to circumstances, so let go of anything else. Managing the world isn’t your responsibility, so why stress about it? Just go with the flow and leave the rest up to the universe.

5. Allow Yourself to Feel Emotions Without Judgement.

Nervous breakdowns often occur because we bottle up our emotions to deal with when it’s more convenient. However, this can lead to disastrous consequences after a while if we don’t face the feelings head-on. You’re a complex human being, so don’t be so hard on yourself when life becomes overwhelming. After all, you’re doing the best you can with what you have and deserve self-compassion.

When life’s pressures make you question your self-worth and sanity, take a step back to get a better view. Observe your feelings without judgment, simply watching them like thought bubbles entering your mind. They won’t last forever, but they deserve your attention and validation.

6. Focus on the Positive Things in Your Life

Therapists encourage everyone to focus on the positives in times of stress. Remind yourself that you have a lovely home, a steady income, a partner who loves you, or good health – whatever pieces of your life are positive, take some time to focus on those and let that positive energy heal you.

7. Find Your Support System

Therapists and experts advise clients on the positive role a support system can play. Friends and family will always be there for you in times of stress and trouble. These are the people who will give you the strength to keep moving forward when life gets hard.

You will feel so much energy and joy when you allow yourself to lean on the people around you. Remember that they love you and want the best for you, and they’ll help you get to where you’re going.

8. Laugh to Avoid a Nervous Breakdown

The idea that “laughter is the best medicine” hasn’t persisted this long for no reason!

Find your friends, do something fun, and let yourself laugh. It will release endorphins that can naturally help lower your stress level and help you chill out and relax. When you feel close to a nervous breakdown, sometimes the best thing for you is a good dose of laughter.

9. Avoid a Breakdown by Confronting Pain Head-on

Life doesn’t come without pain. While we would all like to go through life without any hardships, pain is what allows us to change and become stronger people. When you learn to accept your pain, you’ll no longer find it an overwhelming part of your experience because it will help you grow stronger. Learning to overcome life’s most tremendous pain is a vital life skill that will help you grow as a person.

nervous breakdown

Final Thoughts on Preventing a Nervous Breakdown

When you have a nervous breakdown, you may feel that it’s a sign of weakness or inferiority. But, a study can happen to anyone due to many factors such as being overstressed, a lack of social support, or underlying mental illness. Please don’t judge yourself for feeling overwhelmed because modern life demands a lot from us. We’re all doing the best we can, including yourself.

The best course of action for preventing a breakdown in the first place involves self-care and love. Practice all the healing techniques you need to feel like you again, such as getting a massage, meditating, or even taking a weekend trip away from it all. We’re humans, not machines, so give yourself some grace from time to time.

Science Explains Why Women’s Brains Work Better Than Men’s

Hold the phones. We’ve got a huge announcement: The male and female brains are different! Crazy, right? (Dripping with sarcasm.)

We all know that men and women are two unique creatures behaviorally, psychologically – and, yes, anatomically. These anatomical differences extend to the central apparatus behind all thoughts and emotions: our beautiful, uber-complex brain.

Our 3-pound tofu-like brain is what separates male and female behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Relatedly, studies show that – in some ways – the female brain outperforms that of males.

In this article, we will discuss the differences between the male and female brains, and how the woman brain outperforms that of man.

Please bear in mind that these observations are highly controversial. (As most things related to gender-based differences – cognitive or otherwise.)

Ready?

First, let’s talk about what is – to date – the largest brain-imaging study in history.

“New technologies have generated a growing pile of evidence that there are inherent differences in how men’s and women’s brains are wired and how they work.” ~ Stanford University School of Medicine

THE UK BIOBANK STUDY

A team of researchers from the University of Edinburgh used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans of 2,750 women and 2,466 men; examining the volumes of 68 brain regions. Additionally, the research team measured the thickness of the cerebral cortex – the brain region responsible for consciousness, language, memory, and perception.

The team found that, on average, women tended to have significantly thicker cortices than men. In past studies, cortex thickness is positively correlated with higher scores on a variety of cognitive and general intelligence (GI) tests.

Interestingly, the researchers discovered that men have larger brain volumes in every subcortical region, including the amygdala (responsible for decision-making, emotions, and memory); the hippocampus (memory and spatial awareness); striatum (inhibition, learning, and reward-processing), and thalamus (information processing and neuronal synthesis).

brain exercise

WHERE WOMEN EXCEL

Diane Helpern, Ph.D., past president of the American Psychological Association (APA), says “…it seemed clear to me that many between-sex differences in thinking abilities were due to (mistakes) in research, and bias and prejudice … I changed my mind.”

Why did the former president of perhaps one of the world’s most prestigious institutions for psychological research change her mind? “There was too much data pointing to the biological basis of sex-based cognitive differences to ignore,” Helpern says.

So what sets women apart according to Dr. Helpern?

– Higher levels of verbal ability.
– Stronger reading comprehension and writing ability.
– More attuned fine-motor skills.
– More adept at retrieving information from long-term memory.
– Faster perceptual (sensual interpretation) speed.

Larry Cahill, Ph.D., professor of neurobiology at the University of California at Irvine, cites a 70-article issue published in the Journal of Neuroscience Research. In that article, neuroscientists state the following:

– Women have a larger hippocampus in proportion to total brain size. The hippocampus is known to play a role in learning and memory (particularly, long-term memory.)

– Women’s memories tend to be more vivid and emotional. (They can “go back in time,” so-to-speak, better than men.)

THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA STUDY

Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania took images of 521 female and 428 male youths. After examining the scans, the research team found that “females’ brains consistently showed more strongly coordinated activity between hemispheres…”

In other words, the female brain may be more “skillful” regarding how the left and right hemispheres of the brain communicate. Also known as hemispheric lateralization, this innate brain function may play a role in enhanced cognitive ability.

Similarly, scientists discovered that, on average, women have more blood flow to the brain.  Some studies show that an increase in cerebral blood flow (CBF) may affect cognition:

“Using brain imaging data from 46,034 men and women, (researchers) found that women’s brains were significantly more active (with higher blood flow) in many more areas than men’s brains, especially in the prefrontal cortex, which is involved with focus and impulse control, and the emotional areas involved with mood and anxiety.”

Researchers posit that these differences in cerebral blood flow between men and women may help explain why women tend to “be stronger in empathy and intuition, as well as self-control,” while – on the minus side – “why they may be more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.”

brain multitasking

KEEPING YOUR BRAIN HEALTHY

While plenty of differences exist between the male and female brain, proactively caring for its health should be considered a priority.

With that in mind, here are some top tips, according to experts, for keeping our most valuable asset healthy:

– Get mental stimulation: “…scientists have found that brainy activities stimulate new connections between nerve cells and may even help the brain generate new cells.”

– Get moving: “Exercise also spurs the development of new nerve cells and increases the connections between brain cells (synapses).”

– Eat right: “Good nutrition can help your mind as well as your body … fruits, vegetables, fish, nuts, unsaturated oils and plant sources of protein.”

– Improve your blood pressure: “Use lifestyle modification to keep your pressure as low as possible.”

– Mind your emotions: “People who are anxious, depressed, sleep-deprived, or exhausted tend to score poorly on cognitive function tests…good mental health and restful sleep are certainly important goals.”

RESOURCES:
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-08-left-brain-patterns-cortical-interaction.html
https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spring/how-mens-and-womens-brains-are-different.html
https://womenshealth.com/how-womens-brains-really-are-superior/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/12-ways-to-keep-your-brain-young
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28155036

Harvard Psychologist Reveals: People Who Meet You Decide These Two Things In Seconds

“If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative. A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.” ~ Amy Cuddy, Harvard social psychologist

“Thin Slicing”

That’s the term psychologists give to the human tendency to decide upward of 13 things about someone… within mere seconds of meeting them.

For better or worse, people make judgments about things like your conscientiousness, intelligence, and status within moments. Relatedly, experts say it takes roughly three seconds for someone to determine whether or not they like you.

Harvard professors and psychologists Amy Cuddy, Susan Fiske, and Peter Glick have been studying the science of first impressions for nearly two decades, during which time they’ve continually uncovered, researched, and analyzed human displays of behavior within these ‘first impression‘ moments.

The two crucial things people decide

In her book, “Presence,” Cuddy explains that people answer two vital questions shortly upon first meeting you:

1. Can I respect this person?

2. Can I trust this person?

Psychologists categorize these questions into the dimensions competence and warmth, respectively. In situations that are high stakes, say, a business negotiation or an interview, it is ideal to be seen as both.

The good news is that once you’ve earned respect, you generally earn trust as well; the same goes for earning trust and, subsequently, respect. But this wasn’t, and isn’t, always the case.

Two different worlds

In her book “Presence,” Cuddy uses the following two examples: the business environment and human evolution. In the former world, the competence one ‘exhibits’ by ‘earning’ respect is seen as more valuable than trust and warmth.

This makes sense from the perspective of a stakeholder. If you’re an employee or investor, for example, you want to know that the day-to-day operations are overseen by people with the aptitude and knowledge to get the job done. Their trust? Meh. Not so important at the time.

(History hasn’t been too kind to this viewpoint. See: The Great Recession, Savings and Loan Scandals, Bernie Madoff, Bear Stearns…)

Contrast the business world with early evolution – an even more “dog-eat-dog” environment than commerce. Our distant ancestors’ ability to determine the trustworthiness of individuals within their tribe or village was paramount to survival.

Cuddy agrees. “From an evolutionary perspective, it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.”

what people decide about you honesty first impression

It makes sense. Put yourself in the position of a village or tribal leader in the early days of man. Some chucklehead just ran off with a week’s supply of food, and people are going to get hungry. Now, you not only need to forage for more food, but you also need someone else to pick up the slack of the thief who bolted.

You stumble across some burly dude assembling a nice hut; he has built a warm fire with a rabbit roasting on a spit. Not only will this guy join your village, but he’ll also start hunting right away. Jackpot? Not so fast.

Remember, someone dictates our trustworthiness and respect factor within seconds of meeting us. In this hypothetical scenario, what if the talented loner hasn’t established trust? More likely than not, you’ll walk away from the burly hunter. The paradigm has shifted.

Trust, then respect

In the grand scheme of things, trust matters more than respect. The warmth and camaraderie, or lack thereof, is the most critical factor in how people evaluate you.

Let’s consider the implications of this. Once again, the trust (therefore, the warmth), or lack thereof, is the most critical factor in how people evaluate you.

This quick evaluation affects your:

– personal and professional relationships
– work (present and future)
– influence
– promotability
– earning potential
– intimacy
– self-respect
– and others…

Making a good first impression

Now that you understand the various ways in which your perceived trustworthiness can impact your life, let’s talk about how you can make a good first impression!

– Get some sleep!

Research shows that facial cues reflecting the loss of sleep or exhaustion correlate with observer-held beliefs of lower intelligence.

– Smile (naturally)

A pleasant smile enhances a person’s attractiveness. People who smile often are seen as approachable, trustworthy, and open to conversation. A Joker-like grin, however, appears forced and naïve.

– Relax!

If you’re acting naturally (with maybe a bit of emphasis for high-stake situations), you have no reason to be anxious or tense. Relaxation is critical for the next tip, as well.

– Be yourself!

The confidence to be yourself is not only freeing; it shows authenticity. Authenticity is a close cousin of trustworthiness. Someone is more likely to extend trust and respect if you be the things that make you an individual; something that is applicable even if the other person doesn’t particularly “like” your personality!

Sources:
http://www.businessinsider.com/harvard-psychologist-amy-cuddy-how-people-judge-you-2016-1
http://www.businessinsider.com/science-of-first-impressions-2015-11/#if-youre-trustworthy-1
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201605/the-science-making-better-first-impression

Mental Health Experts Explain 7 Things That Make People Have OCD

Most people know OCD by its media portrayal of people who are obsessively afraid of germs, which causes them to compulsively wash their hands. OCD has many different manifestations than just germs and hand cleaning, however. It is also more common than people might think. But what causes OCD? Mental health experts have an explanation for the top causes of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Here Are 7 Things That Experts Think Cause People To Have OCD

1. Traumatic brain injury

When it comes to the brain, injuries are taken very seriously, especially in the brains of children and teens. Their brains are still developing, and disruptions to that development can cause all kinds of problems. One of the suspected causes of OCD symptoms developing, especially in children and adolescents, is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). One study found that within 12 months of a TBI, 30% of children developed OCD.

In addition to changes in cognitive function, behavior, and mobility, TBI can trigger symptoms of OCD including obsessions and compulsions. OCD following a TBI usually occurs soon, if not immediately, after the event has taken place,” says Owen Kelly, PhD, CPsych.

2. Inflammation

No, your sore joint isn’t the cause of OCD, but inflammation in the brain might just be. Recent studies have found that people who have OCD showed inflammation in certain parts of their brain. In fact, these people were found to have inflammation that was 32% higher in their brains than those who did not have OCD.

Our research showed a strong relationship between brain inflammation and OCD, particularly in the parts of the brain known to function differently in OCD. This finding represents one of the biggest breakthroughs in understanding the biology of OCD, and may lead to the development of new treatments,” says Dr. Jeffrey Meyer.

3. Overprotective parenting

Some parents are incredibly overprotective of their children, but being too involved may be causing OCD symptoms in their children. Children who had a lot of responsibility and were subject to extremely strict rules were more likely to express symptoms of OCD.

This isn’t just about parenting, either: “If you go to a strict school where you don’t ever break the rules, it can predispose you to OCD,” says professor of psychology, Meredith E. Coles, PhD.

overthinking-quote

4. Feeling out of control

People who struggle with a fear of losing control are more likely to develop OCD, research suggests. After all, the obsession and compulsion are part of maladaptive coping mechanisms and self-soothing rituals.

We hypothesize that people’s fears and beliefs about losing control may put them at risk for a range of problems, including panic disorder, social phobia, OCD, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and others,” says psychology researcher, Adam Radomsky, Ph.D.

Therefore, being afraid of losing control is the perfect breeding ground for someone to develop an obsessive-compulsive way to cope with that specific fear.

5. Feeling guilty

Fear of losing control isn’t the only way to develop obsessive-compulsive coping mechanisms. Research also finds that people who fear guilt may be more at risk for developing OCD. An obsessive thought that causes someone to feel guilty creates fear. As a result, it evolves into compulsive self-soothing.

In our opinion, OCD patients are not more prone to guilt than other people but they fear feelings of guilt, and many rituals and avoidance behaviors are motivated by the need to avoid this emotion in the future,” says Dr. Gabriele Melli.

There are also other fears that will lead people to OCD symptoms, but guilt and losing control are the most common.

6. Poor sleep habits

Our brains need sleep to recharge and repair. When we deny them sleep, all kinds of things can happen to our brains. OCD may develop when people have poor sleeping habits or sleeping patterns that vary from night to night.

Your bedtime and the number of hours that you sleep predicts your ability to control or resist obsessive thoughts,” adds Dr. Coles.

OCD is a mental illness that is developed in the brain. Therefore, it only makes sense that when we deny our brains one of the things it needs most, we put ourselves at risk for developing a compulsive disorder.

7. Issues in utero

There are many different issues during pregnancy that can put a child at risk for developing OCD in childhood. For example, smoking cigarettes during pregnancy, as well as being born prematurely, can put a child’s brain at risk for developing OCD.

According to a recent study by a group of scientists, “perinatal factors, especially maternal smoking during pregnancy, breech presentation, cesarean section, preterm birth, low birth weight, being large for gestational age, and Apgar distress scores, were associated with a higher risk of developing OCD…

Children have to get all the correct nutrients and spend the correct amount of time gestating in order for their brains to fully develop.  Moreover, any disruption to this can often cause the development of obsessive-compulsive behavior later in life.

Final thoughts

OCD is not something that has to control someone’s life. Some OCD is mild, and not all of it is debilitating. Like most things in life, OCD is a spectrum and often has to do with the things that happened to us, or that we experienced, as children. Untreated, less mild OCD can cause a lot of issues going about your day-to-day life. But here is the excellent news. With the proper treatment, you can control OCD. It’s important to know where OCD comes from so that those who find themselves developing these symptoms can properly get help to move forward in life.

References:
https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-ocd-symptoms-causes-and-treatment-for-obsessive-compulsive-disorder.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2536546/
https://consumer.healthday.com/mental-health-information-25/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-news-506/ocd-may-be-linked-to-inflammation-in-the-brain-study-723906.html
https://www.verywellmind.com/ocd-and-traumatic-brain-injury-2510479
https://www.rd.com/health/conditions/causes-obsessive-compulsive-disorder/
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2565603
http://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/guilt-sensitivity-ocd_us_5898b015e4b09bd304bc8d1d

Researchers Explain Why People Need Alone Time to Stay Healthy

So many people equate being alone with loneliness, but those two words are actually not synonymous. Loneliness is a painful feeling people get from being alone because they haven’t learned how to enjoy their own company; being alone, however, is simply a state of being, neither good nor bad. When we have the experience of being alone, we can either take that time to relax and enjoy the solitude, or we can allow anxiety and discomfort to overtake us.

Many people fear the idea of sitting with their own thoughts without the numerous distractions available to them. They’d rather text someone, scroll through Facebook, or do something else to keep their mind busy than actually be alone with themselves.

Some people love spending time alone, while others dread it – it really depends on the individual; however, we ALL require some amount of solitude in order to maintain our sanity. Even the most extroverted people need a little time with their own thoughts to process their day or just life in general. No matter how you might feel about having “me” time, science proves that it does your mind and soul a lot of good.

Here’s why spending time alone is good for your well-being:

“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.” – Ellen Burstyn

1. It gives you a chance to recharge

This world creates a lot of stress and anxiety on a daily basis, and we’d all go crazy if we didn’t retreat to a quiet, relaxing place every once in a while. Our brains have to process so much information throughout the day, and all the social interactions can easily drain us (especially introverts!).

“Constantly being ‘on’ doesn’t give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself,” Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D. wrote in an article on Psychology Today. “Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It’s an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.”

However, it does matter what you choose to do with your alone time. Being on your phone or watching TV all night doesn’t allow your mind to rest the same way that doing creative, restorative things does. You want to try to minimize the amount of distractions so that you can truly get a relaxing, enjoyable experience from yourself rather than attempting to mask the reality of being alone with something that just keeps you busy.

For example, writing, drawing, coloring, or doing yoga will get your mind into a “flow” state, while being on technology generally will just bring more stress, make you lonelier, and overload your mind with information.

recharging batteries

2. It helps you form a better connection to yourself

Most people don’t have much time to process their own thoughts because of our “always on” society. We have to answer to so many people throughout the day and deal with various responsibilities, and when it comes time to go home for the day, we really don’t have much time left for ourselves. This is why carving out some alone time in your schedule is vitally important, because otherwise, you run the risk of becoming disconnected from yourself, which can lead to mental health problems.

When you take time to reconnect to the “real you,” it can help you to uncover any masked feelings and get to the root of any issues. It can also help you to form a practice of self-love and self-care, which helps you stay grounded and promotes a positive mindset. Plus, a lot of times, we sacrifice what we really want to do in favor of what others want to do.

However, spending time alone ensures that you’ll get to utilize that time in a way that truly makes you happy, which will only deepen your connection to yourself!

3. Alone time gives you a chance to reflect

So often, we go through our days on autopilot, just trying to make it to the finish line. However, being so busy can make us lose sight of what we’re even running after in the first place. This is where solitude comes into play. Choosing to be alone for a while gives you a chance for some much-needed introspection, where you can think about where you’re at in life and how much that differs from where you want to be. This opportunity may give you some insight into changes you’d like to make in your life, or maybe, you’ll find that you’re perfectly happy with how things are going. Either way, without any alone time, you can’t effectively “check in” with yourself and have that important conversation.

 

How to be healthy

Final thoughts

Sadly, much of the world is suffering from a loneliness epidemic, which scientists think stems from our modern way of life. Technology connects us in some ways, but it also has largely replaced face-to-face interactions, which we absolutely need for our well-being. We feel more disconnected from ourselves and others, and yet fear connection at the same time. One study even found that some people would rather administer electric shocks to themselves than be alone doing nothing for just 6-15 minutes! This shows just how uncomfortable we’ve become with our own selves, and also proves that we need to reconnect to ourselves now more than ever before.

Over 1,000 Studies Reveal: Relationships That Last Do These 17 Things…

When it comes to the question of how to make relationships last, most people would answer with “love,” “trust,” or maybe “understanding.” While all of these components are necessary for a healthy, long-lasting relationship, it’s a lot more complex.

One professor was so curious about what makes relationships last that he analyzed over 1,000 studies to uncover the answers. Brian Ogolsky, an associate professor in human development and family studies at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, analyzed all studies published since the 1950s about “relationship maintenance,” and then listed the most commonly cited strategies for making things work.

“Relationship scientists spend a large proportion of their time predicting why people break up and some of the more negative sides of things,” says Ogolsky, “and I really wanted to dedicate my career to understanding the positive sides of relationship as much as possible.”

He and his team sorted through the studies for two years and noticed a few common themes among the data. First, people used two different techniques to keep their relationships afloat: 1) stopping it from ending, and 2) nurturing the relationship. Couples also used techniques to avoid breaking up, such as making sacrifices and forgiving each other after a fight.

Ogolsky realized that in relationships, individuals and couples keep the bond strong because each contributes to the relationship differently. With those things in mind, let’s determine what keeps relationships alive! We’ll break it up into what couples and individuals do.

Here are 17 things that make relationships last, according to research:

What individuals do to avoid breaking up:

how to make relationship last

1. Ignore other potential partners:

People in a happy, healthy relationship tend to not pay attention to what else is out there. “Half of it could actually be I think that guy’s ugly,” says Ogolsky, “and another is actually trying to turn that off, and not attending to that guy at all.”

2. Think their partner and relationship is the best:

Partners often idealize their other half by thinking they are smarter or hotter than they really are, or thinking their relationship stands out in some way. Most couples like to believe that their connection is special, hence the reasoning to stay in the relationship. If either partner stops believing this, “the writing is on the wall,” says Ogolsky. The belief that your relationship is above average motivates you to stay in it.

3. Paint mistakes in a positive light:

People in relationships try to think of the positives when their partner does something hurtful. “For example if your partner cheats on you, you can make an number of attributions about that,” says Ogolsky. “You could say ‘My partner is a dirtbag and I really hate him. He’ll probably do that again.’” If the conclusion is the latter, then the relationship will likely fail. Sometimes, people give their partner the benefit of the doubt, he points out: “You could reinterpret it as that he’d made a mistake and it was one-time thing.”

What couples do to avoid breaking up:

1. Deal with conflict:

Couples who stay together for long manage conflicts by compromising, apologizing, or agreeing to disagree. Those who don’t engage with their partner or give the silent treatment have a much lower chance of making things work.

2. Forgive:

The concept of forgiveness is important to any relationship. But, Ogolsky says, forgiving too much can actually put a relationship on the rocks. “If you’re a constant forgiver, there comes a point where it’s not great for your relationship because someone is taking advantage of you,” he says. “That can actually erode mental health.” Being a doormat in a relationship only leads to resentment.

3. Sacrifice:

The decision “to forgo self-interest and desired activities for the good of a partner or relationship is an important aspect of maintaining relationships,” according to the research. But, Ogolsky says, this concept is a two-way street. “We want some balance in sacrifice. People don’t like to over-benefit in a relationship, either.”

4. Be there for each other:

In research terms, this is called “facilitation.” This includes anything your partner may need help with, such as time management or completing a project. Helping each other out helps to strengthen the relationship bond and make larger goals come to life.

5. Be each other’s stress reliever:

Rather than adding to the stress, couples that stay together attempt to reach a solution or simply provide comfort and support for their partner.

What individuals do to improve the partnership:

relationships

1. View the relationship as a team:

Once in the relationship, people who think of themselves as one team rather than two individuals last longer. Additionally, says Ogolsky “spending your own time thinking about your relationship,” will keep things going. “It can be spending time thinking about partner, it can be reminiscing, it can be thinking about the things you’re going to do.”

2. Show generosity:

This means “any random act of kindness toward your partner,” says Ogolsky. Examples of this would be taking out the trash when it isn’t your turn, or making dinner for your partner after a long day.

3. Express thanks:

Gratitude for both the relationship and partner have been shown to strengthen the bond between couples. However, this also has to be a two-way street.

4. Pray for their partner:

You might not think of this as a common way to make relationships last, but several peer-reviewed studies published in renowned journals suggest that prayer keeps relationships going. “The guys who are doing this work are pretty well-known in the relationship realm and are not at religious institutions,” says Ogolsky. “If you’ve had asked me what I thought about this five years ago, I would have said ‘ah no.’ This is not one of the things I would have ever thought would have been quite as robust as it is.” Praying may help the person engaging in the act think more lovingly toward their partner, because they want what is best for them and hope it comes their way.

What couples do in relationships that last:

1. Communicate effectively:

This means that every day, couples strive to listen to and understand their partner while communicating their needs. This includes “being positive, being open, providing partners with some assurance you’ll be around, splitting labor in the household and doing it together,” says Ogolsky. Yes, that means washing dishes from time to time.

2. Talk about their relationship:

Couples who plan to stay together for a long time discuss their relationship. They talk about any problems they’re having, what their plans are for the future, and how they think they’re doing in the present.

3. Actively listen:

This differs from #1 in that couples have to make sure not just to hear their partner, but listen.  When one person speaks, this means the other person needs to put down whatever they’re doing and give their partner their full attention.

4. Make each other laugh:

People who use humor often have a better chance of staying together. “It’s not about a funniness gradient,” says Ogolsky, “but whether or not that’s one of the tools in your tool bag that you pull out typically during stress. Those who demonstrate humor have a way of defusing the situation and making it easier to handle.” However, hurtful humor such as sarcasm and mocking can put a big dent in the relationship.

5. Plan fun things together:

A couple that never hangs out or enjoys their time together won’t last long. Being in a relationship requires both people to care about whether the other is having fun and doing things that make them happy. “Engaging in leisure activities with a partner is theorized to increase communication, define roles, and increase marital satisfaction when leisure satisfaction is high or when partners are positive and have strong social skills,” says the study. Having a good time with your partner is good for both of you.

Ogolsky stresses that his findings aren’t a one-size-fits-all prescription for success but rather, a research tool that couples might use as a reference. This is partly because most of the studies he and his team analyzed used college students, which means the same strategies may not translate into the real world.

However, since these techniques have worked in over 1,000 studies, you might want to try them in your relationship!

Researchers Reveal 5 Habits of People Who Hurt Their Mental Health

The above quote is a short but potent statement that asserts what many of us likely think on a daily basis but never say. We live in a world where we have almost everything at the push of a button or flick of the wrist, yet mental health issues have been on the rise. Compared to our ancestors, we have it pretty good. We have air conditioning when it’s hot and heat when it’s cold, delivery services that can pick up our dinner and bring it to our doorstep, and machines that wash our clothes for us. We really don’t have to work very hard for things anymore, but we have less leisure time and more stress. This paradox of having it all yet being unhappy can seem confusing, but it all makes sense when you look a little deeper.

We have created a world that we really don’t thrive in. As a result, our moods and physical health have begun to suffer. Because of technology, our lives have become easier, but easy doesn’t always equal better. Humans need fresh air, sunshine, food from nature, exercise, and human connection to thrive. Modern life doesn’t provide these things very easily, hence the mental health crisis.

We’ll go into more detail below about what habits and lifestyles can lead to poor mental health.

Here are 5 habits of people that hurt their own mental health and well-being:

“Modern life is not good for mental health.” – Jean Twenge, sociologist

mental health

1. They don’t move their bodies enough

We have more health care access, but less health than ever. You hear about people having heart problems, diabetes, and other health ailments at younger ages now, and our modern life is likely the cause. Years ago, before we had all this machinery and convenience, we would actually have to work to get food, water, and shelter. We lived closer to nature, which by default required us to move around to acquire what we needed. Now, we live in big cities where we don’t have to do anything but get in the car drive to a grocery store for food, and work long hours sitting at desks to pay for shelter.

Aside from causing poor physical health,  the lack of movement has also been shown to increase anxiety and depression. Exercise releases endorphins that help boost your mood, which can combat the most prevalent mental health problems we see today: anxiety and depression.

2. They buy a lot of stuff they don’t need

The habits of those around us easily influence humans, and sadly, many people buy things they don’t need, whether out of habit or to try to fill a void in their lives. However, studies have repeatedly shown that more “stuff” can never buy happiness. In fact, accumulating too many things we don’t need can cause anxiety and stress. Research shows that buying experiences, not things, can increase happiness because people connect more to things they do rather than things they can use. 

3. They don’t prioritize sleep, harming mental health

You guessed it: lack of sleep and anxiety/depression have a direct link with each other. We need quality sleep to function, but modern life doesn’t emphasize sleep very much. Technology, stress, lack of exercise, poor diet, and many other factors can contribute to inadequate sleep, exacerbating mental health issues. Not to mention, all of the caffeine we drink throughout the day to keep us alert can lead to poor sleep at night, too.

4. They overuse smartphones and technology in general

Unsurprisingly, when mobile technology began to increase, we saw an increase in mental health problems, too. One study found that people who spend extended social media time are more likely to develop depression.

Before smartphones, people would talk face-to-face more often and have deeper conversations because they didn’t have so many distractions right in front of them. Now, we have more distractions than ever and are less present and mindful in the real world. Because of our constantly plugged-in world, we are less connected with ourselves and the people around us. This disconnect between ourselves and reality has led to an epidemic of anxiety and depression, unfortunately.

5. They don’t spend enough time outdoors, decreasing mental health

We need nature to survive, yet we seem to have built a world that shelters us from it. This doesn’t make much sense. A lack of sunlight means less Vitamin D in your body, an essential nutrient that helps regulate your mood and immune system, among other things. Studies have also shown that people who walk through parks rather than city streets are calmer and less frustrated. That really comes as no surprise to most!

things that ruin our mental health

 

Final Thoughts on Avoiding Behaviors That Harm Mental Health

Our modern life may not paint a picture of perfect health, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow along with “the norm.” Make sure you allow yourself fresh air, sunshine, healthy foods, plenty of sleep, exercise, and a stress-free environment as much as possible. Take a “digital detox” day. Doing these things plus limiting technology use and buying things in excess will afford you a better outlook on life, and, therefore, better mental health!

Psychologists Explain 15 Ways to Make A Man Fall In Love With You

We all talk about love and how we felt it at one point in our lives, but how exactly is love defined?

According to scientist, psychologist and author Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, “Love is about an expansion of the self whereby another person’s interests, values, social network, and finances become part of your life just as you share your resources with them. Love does not mean that you give up everything for another person. Rather, you possess sufficient trust to give them the keys to everything that you can access.

Getting that special someone’s attention can be difficult. You want to show him you’re everything he’s ever wanted, but how? Actresses from romantic comedies have been doing it for ages, but translating that into the real world isn’t the same. There are some essential things to remember when you want a guy to fall in love with you. If you follow the right steps, you’re bound to succeed.

Here Are 15 Ways To Make A Man Fall Head Over Heels In Love With You

“Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it’s a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.” – Gwendoline Christie

1. Be yourself

In her book The Fully Lived Life, clinical psychologist Merry Lin writes, “Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won’t like you. The tapes that play in your head say that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for you. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain … the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together.”

Therefore, none of this will work if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not! You want the guy to fall in love with you, not someone you’re pretending to be. So, ditch your Sandra Dee from the end of Grease persona and just be who you are.

2. Look your best

You don’t have to go on a diet and change your hair to look your best. All you have to do is maximize your best features and ensure you look as good as possible. Your beauty is unique, and doesn’t need any changes.

3. Listen

Having good communication skills is about more than being able to communicate effectively. It’s also about being able to listen actively.

Writer and journalist Irma Kurtz says, “No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak. We tend to jump in with an opinion before we’ve heard each other out. Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference. So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen.

Men have a lot to say, and when you show that you can listen, they’ll be more inclined to say what matters.

4. Laughter

It’s proven that laughter is contagious. So, when you’re laughing, you’re setting off chemicals in a guy’s brain to feel good. It can be totally addictive. If you’re trying to attract a guy, then laughter is the best way to draw him in and keep him wanting more.

5. Good attitude

People with poor attitudes are often extremely negative and not fun to be around. A good attitude about things, especially when things might not be going right for you, is desirable and charming. A guy is going to be drawn to your ability to stay positive.

Plus, by taking care of what you need to in your own life, you bring a more positive attitude back into the relationship. The other person will start to treat you differently—without you having done anything other than shift your energy into your own life,” says wellness coach and author Susan Biali.

6. Be sweet

Everyone can be a little mean – but there’s no reason to be! Turn off the part of your brain that wants to be catty and try being kind instead. Any guy will find that attractive. After all, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

7. Flirt

If you want a guy to fall in love with you, you need to show him you’re into him too! The best way is to flirt with him.

When it comes down to it, flirting is a mindset. It is saying to yourself, “I like them! I want to make them feel good by being nice, complimenting and letting them know that I like them.” You can twirl your hair, but if you are not projecting warmth or even looking at them in the eye, it doesn’t count,” says relationship expert and television host Rachel DeAlto.

Guys will be drawn to girls they know are already attracted to them. Plus, flirting is a fun way to be intimate with someone.

flirting

8. Be different

Being yourself is a great way to be different. It may seem like guys all like the same type of girl, but that isn’t true. If you allow yourself to be different and swim upstream rather than go with the societal flow, worthy guys will notice. And, they’ll fall in love with all of your unique differences.

9. Be witty

You don’t have to go along with everything he says and agree with him. It’s okay to have a few friendly debates and challenge one another – and being able to be witty and thinking quickly about your views will make him fall even more in love with you.

10. Get physical

Guys don’t always have to be the ones who initiate physical contact. Many guys love it when a woman wraps her arms around him, or leans in for a kiss first.

Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more time goes by. Keep your ‘sex esteem’ alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life,” says licensed individual, couples, and sex therapist Sari Cooper, LCSW.

Initiate the physical contact and he’ll be left wanting more.

11. Don’t smother him

It might be tempting to want to spend every waking moment with him, but remember that everyone needs alone time. Giving a guy the freedom to be himself will make sure that he’s always coming back to you in the end. If you prove that you’re not the type to get clingy, he’ll know you’re the right one.

12. Let him call you

Calling him is fine if you want to talk to him or need to tell him something! It’s normal! But sometimes, a guy needs to feel like he’s the one making the first move. So even if you’re dying to pick up the phone, let him come to you. He’ll be delighted by how happy you are to hear from him and fall even more in love.

13. Make eye contact

Eye contact is already proven to be one of the most effective body language techniques there is.

Eye contact and a smile are all it takes! Three to four seconds of eye contact, plus a smile and you are golden. Most guys like to hedge their bets of being shot down, and those nonverbal cues let him know the odds are in his favor,” adds DeAlto.

If you’re trying to get a guy to fall for you, ensure you’re giving him a lot of eye contact. He’ll feel more and more connected to you while you get to know one another more.

14. Don’t be desperate for love

Chill! Relax! Don’t feel like your whole life is hinging in this relationship. Make sure that you have your support network and hobbies. Being with a guy is amazing, and building a relationship is phenomenal. But if you appear too desperate, it will entirely turn him off the relationship.

15. Be trustworthy

When a guy falls in love, he will tell you a lot about his insecurities.

According to love and marriage experts Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, “Trust is not something all loving relationships start with… But one thing is for sure; happy and successful marriages and relationships survive and thrive on the basis of this trust. Trust is so pervasive in their relationship that they never give it a second thought. They expect it. It’s always there. It is part of the fabric of their relationship.

Be a trustworthy partner and keep his secrets safe. If he can trust you, he’ll fall in love with you no problem.

Final thoughts on making him fall in love with you

Getting a guy to fall in love with you is more about being yourself and showing positive qualities than any gimmick. As long as you make sure that you’re being a good and kind human being, and guy of your choice will fall for you.

Skip to content