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10 Reasons Children Have Emotional Damage That Parents Don’t Realize

August 1, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Parents affect their child’s life in more ways than they initially realize. Some of the things your child goes through during their childhood can cause emotional damage. While you might recognize some of the instances immediately, there are others that you don’t always immediately see.

Even good parents aren’t perfect, so some of your actions can cause emotional damage. Damage occurs when caregivers verbally or emotionally assault a child. These behaviors damage their self-esteem and disrupt their well-being.

Emotional damage doesn’t go away, as studies show it lingers later in life. It can cause mental health problems that affect their life forever.

Emotional damage can be just as bad for a child as physical abuse. Even one instance of emotional abuse can disrupt their life and cause serious harm. Parenting is hard enough, so learn the reasons for emotional trauma to help give your child the best life possible.

What Is Emotional Abuse?

Research shows that approximately one in seven children has experienced abuse in the past year in the United States. Some of these instances included neglect and emotional abuse.

Anytime a child is made to feel unloved, worthless, scared, or alone, it’s emotional abuse. It’s sometimes called psychological or verbal abuse, and it’s more common than any other type. It involves hostility, yelling, criticism, rejection, teasing, bullying, and witnessing violence.

There are often signs that a child has emotional damage. If you recognize any of these signs, you can’t go back and change anything, but you can do better in the future. Use this information to identify issues and find ways to overcome and help your child regain confidence and self-esteem.

Emotional abuse is complex, and there is more than one type. The different types include:

Rejection: A child gets told that they are unwanted or worthless
Withholding affection: The caregiver ignores the child, showing little interest.
Threats and yelling: The child experiences threats, yelling, and cursing.
Isolation: A child is allowed to engage with friends and loved ones.
Corruption: This type occurs when an adult exposes a child to drugs, alcohol, inappropriate conduct, or criminal behavior.
Exploitation: A caregiver exploits a child when they force an activity without their consent or consideration of their well-being.

Signs and Effects of Emotional Damage

Getting a handle on detrimental behaviors that cause damage to your children is essential. There are many negative impacts of emotional abuse. If you think your child or anyone else is experiencing emotional damage, look for these signs:

avoiding going home
running away
low self-esteem or confidence
developmental delays
declining school work
anxiety or depression
being afraid or distressed
secretive or disruptive behaviors
frequent changes in emotional behavior
trying too hard to please parents
inability to connect
being unable to relate to others
withdrawn behavior
feeling like no one wants them around
self-blame and guilt
inability to trust adults
lying or stealing
self-harm
suicidal thoughts
substance abuse
unhealthy coping strategies
sucking, biting, or rocking for comfort
anti-social behaviors
eating disorders
difficultly sleeping or sleeping too much
aggressive or destructive behavior
inability to express themselves

Trauma affects children differently depending on how old they are. Preschool-aged children might also experience separation anxiety, eat poorly, have nightmares, and cry often.

Reasons Children Have Emotional Damage That Parents Don’t Realize

There are many reasons children have emotional damage, and you might not know all of them them. When you know the causes, you can work to avoid them in your life. Plus, you can alleviate ongoing issues that might lead to trauma.

1. Gossiping with Their Parent

You might think gossiping with your child is harmless, but it has lasting effects. Talking about other family members or friends behind their backs creates a toxic environment.

Even if you don’t intend it to be, your child might subconsciously feel they have to choose their loyalty. They feel like if they say the wrong thing, you’ll think they’re disloyal to you. This reason isn’t to say that filling each other in on other family members is detrimental. However, bad-mouthing others can cause emotional damage.

2. They Witness You Repressing Your Emotions

You might repress your emotions as a coping mechanism for issues you experienced during childhood. If you’ve handled it your entire life, you may not realize you even do it.

You’ll ignore your feelings and pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It teaches your child to behave the same way, making them shut down their feelings instead of feeling them and opening up. Instead, teach them to become emotionally intelligent by allowing them to see you handle things positively.

3. Intense Pressure and Scrutiny

If you pressure your child to excel at everything and never give them room for mistakes, they’ll suffer. Your child will feel like you only love or care about them when they’re doing something well. Sometimes you’ll unintentionally hurt your child’s feelings when they didn’t accomplish something the first time.

If you find that you often do this, make a conscious effort to change because they must know they’re unconditionally loved. Intense pressure and scrutiny negatively affect the child, even with good intentions. They’ll feel your love only occurs when they do what you want.

4. Excessive Teasing

You might think it’s harmless to joke around with your child, and it usually is. However, excessively teasing your child can create emotional damage.

It can decrease your child’s self-esteem if you target their insecurities or cause them to feel left out of a joke. This behavior is a form of manipulation and involves mockery, demoralizing interactions, and humiliation.

5. Witnessing Unhealthy Relationships

When a child sees unhealthy adult relationships, it creates emotional damage. They learn to interact in the same unhealthy ways, setting them up for unhealthy relationships throughout life. If they see or experience passive-aggressive or manipulative behavior, they quickly learn it.

Children who witness unhealthy relationships learn to push good people away because they’re scared to get hurt. It can also cause trust issues and an inability to engage in social settings.

6. Experiencing Financial Stress

It can take a toll if a child’s family experiences financial stress, poverty, or unemployment. Not only do they face the reality of the situation, but they also pick up on their parents’ stress. Living in a low-income neighborhood often indicates a lack of resources. If that’s the case, they might be dealing with negative feelings they’re afraid to open up about.

7. Being Compared to Siblings

Comparing children to their siblings is highly detrimental to their well-being. It causes emotional damage because they’ll never feel good enough. They’ll only focus on their shortcomings rather than honing in on their strengths.

Comparing your children to one another also creates tension between siblings, further creating emotional damage. They’ll always pick at one another, never wanting to admit when the other has done something well. Sibling rivalry is expected, but you don’t want to make it anything more than that.

8. Privacy Violations

It’s your job to look out for and protect your children, but there should be boundaries. If you constantly invade your child’s privacy, they’ll feel like they can’t have limits in their life. It’ll cause them to struggle with telling others no and can lead to a lack of boundaries in other areas of their life.

9. Experiencing Major Life Changes

When a child goes through life changes like moving to a new home or having a sibling, it can cause emotional damage. It won’t always cause issues but can cause turmoil and detrimental changes.

10. Receiving Frequent Guilt Trips

If a child frequently is made to feel guilty, it’ll cause emotional turmoil. They might receive a guilt trip about spending time with others or things outside their control. Whatever it is, it can make them feel obligated to do things they don’t want to do. It can also cause them to miss out on new opportunities or experiences.

Why a Child Doesn’t Always Speak Up

Many people think that if a child experienced emotional trauma, they’d say something. However, this isn’t usually the case.

In many cases, the child feels a sense of loyalty to the person hurting them. They want their caregiver to love and approve of them, so they keep the issues to themselves. Other times, they might be afraid to open up because they don’t know what will happen.

Some children think that everyone gets overly criticized, denied affection, or called names. If they’ve experienced it all their life, they won’t know anything is amiss. When they recognize the difference in their situation, they might be embarrassed to call attention to it.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Children Have Emotional Damage That Parents Don’t Realize

Emotional damage from childhood can affect people throughout adulthood. If you recognized any of the reasons on this list, it’s time to make a change in your family unit. Sometimes you don’t realize it’s harming them, and you can improve it at any time.

If you recognize any signs of emotional damage in another child, make sure to be a positive influence on them. You might not be able to speak up to their parent, but you can try to offer help however possible. Sometimes you might want to report neglect to ensure the child is taken care of.

4 Signs Your New Relationship Won’t Lead to Instant Regret

August 1, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

If you’re anything like the average human, you’ve probably gotten yourself into some complicated romantic entanglements before. You’ve probably had an abusive partner or at least a relationship that seemed promising but was a let-down. If you’re reading this, you undoubtedly regret your choices in your love life. But just because the past didn’t turn out great doesn’t mean the future can’t be a little brighter. The time will come when you will find a partner that won’t lead to instant regret.

Your lousy past experiences have probably made you lose hope of finding someone to make you happy. You probably don’t believe you can build a long-term relationship with someone new. Maybe you don’t even want to have faith in people again. But this will only keep you from finding the right person. You must believe that someone out there can make you feel loved again.

But before starting anything with anyone, evaluate what you want from a relationship. Furthermore, you must watch for some signs that the person you are interested in is worth it. This might seem like you’ll be taking a clinical approach when choosing a partner. But that’s not a bad thing. It’s always better to make sure you back your feelings with logic than to be impulsive and get hurt.

What Should a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Before considering any new people as potential partners, you must understand what a healthy relationship should look like. And the best way to do that is to evaluate your past relationships and understand why they didn’t work out. While those relationships cause regret, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them.

What you should know about any relationship is that to be healthy, there must be trust, open communication, and boundaries. These characteristics are essential, but they are not all a relationship needs to have. If you want to avoid regret, you must also ensure that your partner’s and your needs are met. But first, you need to understand what your needs are. This can look different for everybody. Some people want to have something casual with no strings attached.

Others want to build something long-lasting, maybe even start a family. Everyone has different goals and views, so understanding yours can take to closer to having a good relationship. Another critical factor that can make or break a relationship is having similar principles you base your life. This doesn’t mean you must have all the same goals as your partner. Maybe you want to focus on your career, and they want to start a family, but you can compromise.

If you are willing to change your focus in a few years and start a family, and they will wait, it will all work out. But if you never want to have kids, things won’t work out, and the relationship will probably lead to regret. This can be true for moral values because the relationship can become unstable if they don’t align. All these factors are things you should consider before looking for potential partners.

This is precisely why past relationships can be a learning experience. Even though they led to regret, you can learn from your mistakes and become better at finding love. If you had an abusive relationship, at least you know what red flags to look for. Even the worst possible situations can help you pursue a better life if you learn to use them to your advantage. Still, most relationships don’t end because of abuse. They end because people grow and they don’t see eye to eye anymore.

You can learn from these situations how to make sure you and your partner stay on the same page. A healthy relationship is based on people being able to make compromises and sacrifices for the person they’re with. Not everyone is ready to have a relationship, and it’s okay if you aren’t there yet. You may still haven’t fully healed from your last failed experience. In that case, the future of your romantic life is contingent on your ability to make sure you can be a good partner. We might like to think that other people cause all our regrets, but that’s not always true.

Sometimes, we cause issues that end the relationship ourselves. Even if your intentions are good, sometimes you mess up. You might not know how to communicate or respect someone else’s needs. So, it’s not enough to look for the best potential partner. You need to make sure that you have the potential to be a good partner.

4 Signs Your New Relationship Won’t Lead to Instant Regret

Do you see any of these behaviors in your new partner? You might have found a long-lasting love.

1. You Can Be Yourself Around Them

Even though all relationships need sacrifice and compromise to work out, that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are for someone. In fact, feeling like you need to change for someone is a red flag. The right person will accept you for who you are. And they won’t just accept you; they will love everything about you, even the imperfections. You must understand it’s worth waiting for someone who will make you feel comfortable being who you are.

From the first meeting someone, you can understand how genuine you can be around them. With some people, the connection is instant, and they make you feel comfortable from the beginning. If you are interested in someone who makes you feel like that, that’s a sign you should go for something more. If you form a romantic bond with someone who accepts you, that won’t lead to regret. In fact, it might even mean you found “the one.”

2. They Bring Out the Best in You

Emotions can be weird sometimes. Connecting with someone can completely change your personality based on how you interact with them. You’ll probably be angry and mean when you’re around angry and abusive people. Even if you don’t become toxic, you’ll still isolate yourself and change how you interact with people. But being around the right people will bring out the best in you.

Some people positively affect you and will make you want to be a better person. Even though they see your imperfections, they will want to see you become the best version of yourself. And you can see that in how the people around you interact with you. If your love interest is someone who always wants to help you navigate your issues, that’s a sign they’re the right one for you. They won’t lash out at you and always try to force you to do things their way. Instead, they’ll complete you and give you the motivation you need to succeed.

3. You Feel Like You Can Share Everything with Them

Most regrets in relationships come because of the things you didn’t feel you could say at the right time. People drift apart when they let issues simmer without ever talking about them. And there are some people you won’t feel you can open up around. Even if you love someone, it doesn’t mean you think they understand you. This is true even for platonic relationships.

You might love your parents, but that doesn’t mean you feel like you can share your life with them. Some people can be judgemental, meaning you’re better off hiding some things from them. But you’ll regret having a relationship with someone like that. You will come across people who instill trust from the moment you meet them. There will be something about them that makes you feel comfortable opening up. That’s because you know they’ll never judge or try to use what you tell them against you.

You can talk about your trauma and tell them your whole life story; they’ll listen. They’re there to talk about anything, whether the discussion is light and fun or the topic is more serious. They are interested in getting to know you and always make time to talk to you.

4. You Find Ways to Manage Your Relationship Conflicts

If you want to avoid feeling regret in a relationship, you must know you can handle conflicts. In every relationship, no matter how stable it seems, there will always be issues that need solving. Having problems is natural, and they can even help you strengthen your relationship. The key is knowing how to solve them healthily. And a clear sign that you found someone worthwhile is that you can talk through any problem.

Some people don’t act in good faith when in conflict. When they do something wrong or someone has an issue with them, they feel caged and lash out. Others don’t have the empathy to work things out and arrive at the best possible solutions for both parties. Still, some people will prove they’ll do their best to solve your conflicts. But someone willing to sit down and have a serious discussion to make things work is someone you won’t regret being with.

Final Thoughts on Signs Your New Partner Won’t Lead to Instant Regret

Your past relationships have probably brought along great hurt and regret. But that doesn’t mean all your relationships will be like that. Just because there’s a pattern in your past doesn’t mean you can’t break it. It just takes meeting the right person to build a relationship that will fulfill you.

When you first meet someone, you can’t be sure they won’t end up hurting you. But some signs can give an idea about who they are. If you feel you can be genuine and open around them, they’re someone you can grow with. Even more important, if you can healthily manage your conflicts, you’ll make things work out. You won’t regret pursuing a relationship with them if you feel safe sharing your life. So, as long as you have a little faith, you’ll find someone who will be the perfect match for you.

Journalist Explains How He Used Positive Thinking to Beat Drug Addiction

August 1, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Emmanuel Anderson is proof positive that drug addiction can happen to anyone. It’s not a reflection on your education or social status, as sometimes it just takes one simple mistake to head down the wrong path. Sadly, addiction is not only a dangerous life but often deadly. Fortunately, people can reclaim their lives by learning from their mistakes, embracing positive thinking, and making healthy new habits. This story reveals how this journalist embraced triumph over drugs.

Anderson’s story began in his hometown in Ghana. By the time he was a sophomore in high school, Anderson was what most people would call a “good boy.” He had never tasted alcohol or even smoked a cigarette by this point. He thought of himself as someone “green” or inexperienced.

He hung out with a group of “cool kids” at his high school–the hip-hop guys. In fact, he enjoyed this association, as they were the guys who got all the pretty girls. The real problem was that Anderson’s parents sheltered him from the world around him. When he got his first taste of freedom during his sophomore year of high school, everything changed.

One Bad Choice Was All It Took

Freedom comes with a cost, but Anderson maintained his good-boy status for a few years. It wasn’t until he met a new friend that his entire world began to change. His friend had a boyfriend who used drugs heavily, and he seemed to be always hanging out with Anderson.

Naturally, everyone assumed that he also smoked weed because of the company he kept. One afternoon Anderson was hanging out with these two friends. The girl asked him if he smoked, and he feared he would sound uncool if he told the truth.

So, he told her he did smoke marijuana. Before he knew it, she had a joint out of her pocket and lit it, offering him a hit. This was his first encounter with any drug, and it didn’t take long for the drug addiction to snowball.

Plan B in Life Came with Serious Consequences

His senior year was supposed to be the highlight of his life, but he failed his final exams. He could not go to college, and his plan B was to travel the world and gain a new perspective. Anderson felt that no one would think anything different of him if he left the area.

Many people travel and put off college for a few years. He didn’t want to be known as someone who failed, but the drug addiction to marijuana was already affecting his life. His parents didn’t have the funds to help him travel, so he became a stowaway to get to Europe. Anderson grew up in the Ghana port city of Takoradi, so it was easy for him to stow away and emigrate to another country.

The only problem is that this is a hazardous way to travel. At this point, his drug addiction took a turn for the worse. Being a stowaway sounds innocent enough. But it’s very tough, and you can quickly lose your life.

Anderson tried to make it the best he could, but the only way he could keep his morale was to use both drugs and alcohol. At night, he had to use a small canoe in the sea, and if the canoe capsized, you must swim to shore. You will perish in the cold waters if you’re not strong enough to make it.

Alcohol and drugs gave him the confidence to keep up with this process, but the addiction only grew. He could do nothing about it, as he had made the wrong decision, and now his drug addiction and choices were ruining his life.

Enough Was Enough, the Journalist Said of Drug Addiction!

Seven long years passed, and Anderson still hadn’t done anything with his life. He never made it to the local university; at this point, depression set in. If you know anything about drug addiction and depression, you will see that they often run together.

According to a National Library of Medicine study, about 46 percent of people with addiction also have depression issues. Some centers treat both as this dual diagnosis is hard to manage. For Anderson, things became unbearable.

So many people find that the drug isn’t working anymore and need more of the same thing to cope with the pain. It was at this point that he made a life-altering declaration. He was done!

Anderson felt like he was losing himself as the dream to travel never happened, and he no longer enjoyed doing drugs. He called these atomic habits, and he was determined to conquer them. He finally got the opportunity to go through the Sahara Desert and eventually make it to Europe.

Sadly, even on this journey, he faced significant risks, but he knew he had to try at least because he was losing himself to substance abuse. During this long journey, he gave up his drug addiction once and for all.

Three Steps to Form New Habits to Combat Drug Addiction

Anderson was delighted when he finally made it to the United Kingdom. He knew that it was time to make some much-needed changes. Like so many folks find themselves, Anderson was stuck between pain and pleasure and couldn’t escape.

The problem was that he didn’t feel pleasure or satisfaction anymore. Anderson wasn’t improving his life because his drug addiction was worsening things.

Anderson knew that if he wanted to start the journey toward sobriety, he must break free from the addiction. He used the pain caused by the addiction to motivate himself. These are the steps he took.

1. Change the Atmosphere

Anderson realized he couldn’t stop his addiction if he didn’t remove himself from the situation. It wasn’t until he got to Europe that he felt sobriety was possible because his environment was different. He began his journey towards positive thinking and could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Focus on the Future

By this time, Anderson had wasted most of his life. He needed to become focused on his future as a journalist. With this weight on his back, he knew he would never become anything, so he had to free himself from the entanglement. Positive thinking and declaring where he was going helped him realize his mind was powerful in beating the drug addiction.

3. Staying the Course

Conquering drug addiction is one of the most challenging things you can do in this life. However, you must stick to the course. When you try to break free from such a powerful hold, many chains will try to hold you back.

Positive thinking and a made-up mind will keep you from backsliding. You can only be free if you commit to your new habits, no matter how tempting your old life might seem.

Why Does the Pain/Pleasure Analysis Mean So Much?

For Anderson, it was the pain/pleasure analysis he used to rationalize his way free from addiction. He knew that his habit was causing him way more pain than pleasure. It wasn’t until he reached that point that he could obtain sobriety.

So many times, family members and friends try to push people to get help and fight their addiction, but the person isn’t ready. Until they get to the point where they realize that the drug is ruining their life, they won’t get help. No therapy, screaming sessions from his parents, or endless begging from his friends made any difference to Anderson.

It wasn’t until he could see the damage the drugs did to him that things changed. He had to use positive thinking to combat all the negativity that comes with addiction, but it worked.

Anderson’s journey had some unique aspects, but it was challenging, just like so many others face. He learned that breaking a bad habit takes a ton of work and dedication, as it’s much easier to create good ones.

He also learned that the crowd you hang around means everything. You can’t get sober amidst other drug users, as you must remove yourself from the atmosphere to stop the temptation. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, more than 8.5 million American adults with addiction also have a mental illness. Treating this mental health issue is imperative for the journey toward sobriety.

Final Thoughts on a Journalist Using Positive Thinking to Make Healthy New Habits and Beat Drug Addiction

Anderson says you can overcome this battle if you struggle with drug addiction. You must first decide that you need help and then take the first step towards getting it. You know you’ve had enough when you see that the drug is ruining your life and not helping anymore.

Anderson offers this advice:

“Whatever life you’re living reflects what’s going on in you. To have a great life means having your internal world under control. You do that by ensuring you engage in things that bring you peace. And if trying to do it demands you get come people out of your life because of their ways, you do it.”

It’s not until a person reaches this point that they can receive the help they need. For example, Emmanuel Anderson needed to experience the worst time of his life before he could move in the right direction. Today, he’s a journalist with a successful career–and an exciting new life in Spain. But his life could have been very different if he hadn’t decided that he was done with the lifestyle and formed new habits to break through drug addiction.

Undersharing With Your Partner Leads to Isolation, According to Psychology

August 1, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

You’ve likely heard that you shouldn’t reveal too much information, but that shouldn’t be the case in your relationship. Society makes it seem like you must hide your feelings and never say when something is wrong. However, undersharing with your partner is detrimental to your relationship and overall communication.

When you experience negative emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, or despair, it’s natural to want to keep them quiet. You won’t want your significant other to see you that way, but keeping it to yourself is harmful to you and your relationship. While you don’t want to upset your partner, you also don’t want to disrupt your mental health by keeping quiet.

Undersharing with your significant other does more harm than good. It can lead to isolation, and you might not realize it until it’s too late. Vulnerability and sharing your feelings are sometimes the best thing you can do.

What is Undersharing?

Humans constantly communicate, even when you don’t realize you’re doing it. You communicate nonverbally through the following:

facial expressions
body language
voice tone
behavior

If you withhold your thoughts, your significant other still knows something is wrong. They will recognize that something is bothering you and know you’re undersharing. You might say nothing is wrong or give a vague answer rather than opening up and being honest.

Five Key Reasons for Undersharing

Every relationship is different, and there are a few reasons for undersharing. These reasons for undersharing all interfere with your relationship strength.

1 – Trust Issues Causes Myriad Communication Breakdowns

A lack of trust in your relationship can lead to undersharing. If you aren’t transparent or question things your significant other does, it can cause feelings of isolation. You must have trust in one another to make things work.

2 – Living a Busy Lifestyle

Life gets busy for everyone, and it can interfere with the strength of your relationship. You might be dealing with tight deadlines, stress at work, conflicting schedules, or other overwhelming situations. When you get home after a busy day, you want to relax and pretend everything is okay. However, since it’s not okay, it leads to internalizing and adversely affecting your relationship.

3 – Trauma Can Cause Undersharing

A traumatic event or shocking situation can change the dynamics of your relationship. Rapid and sudden life changes throw everything off, including your ability to connect.

Some traumatic events that can lead to undersharing with your significant other include the following:

The loss of a loved one
Sudden grief
Job loss
Accidents
Illnesses
Health scares

4 – Engaging in Unhealthy Relationship Behaviors

If you or your significant other engage in unhealthy behaviors, it can lead to undersharing and feelings of isolation. Some of these behaviors include:

Avoiding confrontation
Keeping secrets
Infidelity
Constant fighting
Trying to control your significant other
Forcing change
Co-dependence
Not leaning on them in times of need
Being unwilling to make sacrifices
Trying to hurt one another in daily interactions
Frequent criticism

5 – You Don’t Want to Burden Your Partner

Sometimes you keep things to yourself because you don’t want to be a burden. You don’t want your significant other to have to carry your load, so you don’t tell them what’s going on. However, you must remember that your partner wants to help if you’d let them.

Why Undersharing with Your Partner Leads to Isolation

Now that we see what causes this gap of communication, here is how it can lead you to an isolated place.

1 – It Only Allows for a Superficial Connection

Sharing with your partner allows you to feel connected, improving your well-being. When you reveal your thoughts and feelings, it promotes a meaningful bond between you. Without this level of communication, you’ll only find a superficial connection.

2 – You’ll Feel Like No one Values You

When you can’t or won’t reveal yourself, you’ll feel like no one values you or your successes. It leads to isolation because you feel like you’re on your own. Feeling like your significant other doesn’t recognize your value can cause resentment.

3 – Undersharing Can Cause Toxicity or a Break-Up

Undersharing causes conflict in the relationship. It can lead to toxic or unhealthy behaviors and even cause the relationship to end.

4 – It Interferes with Growth and Intimacy

When you under share, it leads to a communication breakdown. One or both partners stop talking about important things, sometimes stopping talking altogether. You might feel like you can’t talk to them without it becoming an argument. When this occurs, you can’t grow as a couple and will experience a lack of intimacy.

5 – This Communication Gap Might Mean You Grow Apart

Not communicating and opening up to your partner interferes with your connection. Without understanding each other’s inner thoughts, your relationship can’t evolve. Eventually, you’ll grow apart and feel alone until you either break up or fix the issues.

6 – Undersharing Leads to Toxic Behaviors

Undersharing exacerbates issues, and you can’t ignore it. Eventually, it’ll go beyond keeping things to yourself and can turn into hostility and harmful behavior.

Some signs that it’s gone too far include:

constant criticism from one or both of you
belittling each other
giving or receiving the cold shoulder
defensiveness
passive-aggressive behaviors
assuming you know what your significant other thinks, and your partner assuming they know what you think
inability to resolve arguments
no longer attempting to connect
inability to compromise

7 – Your Partner Can’t Understand Who You Are

When you under share, your significant other doesn’t have a chance to understand who you are. They won’t know what you need or how they can help you through hard times. Eventually, you’ll start to think that they can’t help, although you never gave them a chance to try.

8 – You’ll Feel Like You’re the Only One Going Through Hard Times

When you undershare with your significant other, you’ll quickly experience loneliness and isolation. It causes you to feel like you’re the only person going through negative emotions. When you feel this way for too long, it can make you feel flawed and alone. It only leads to you isolating yourself so your partner doesn’t see that you’re not in a great place.

9 – Missed Opportunities for Finding Solutions

If you don’t open up to your partner, you miss out on the chance to find a solution together. You’ll continue grappling alone, spiraling until you’re dealing with more than you can handle. Feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed can cause you to miss seeing your strengths and resources. Sharing the problem with your partner gives you another person who can offer suggestions.

10 – Undersharing Creates Negative Self Talk

If you don’t talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings, it can lead to negative self-talk. Keeping all of your emotions in can cause toxicity, including shame, to build up within. It also makes you feel embarrassed, weak, unworthy, and unlovable because your thoughts convince you of these things.

When you feel all of this, it causes tension and negativity within your relationship. Your partner will know something is wrong, and you’ll isolate yourself to hide it.

11 – Your Partner Will Think They Did Something Wrong

You might not say anything, but your partner will pick up on your body language and demeanor. They’ll know something is wrong, but they won’t know what it is unless you tell them.

Otherwise, they must guess what’s wrong and think they did something wrong. Your partner might believe they did something to upset you, causing them to become more concerned the longer you withhold.

12 – Other Effects of Undersharing

There are many effects of undersharing, making it highly detrimental to your relationship and well-being. Some of the other results include:

Lack of intimacy
Difficulty reaching goals
Increased conflict
Feeling unseen
Turning away from one another
Developing a negative perspective of one another

How to Fix It and Improve Communication

The only way to develop a deep connection with your partner is by opening up to them. Let go of the idea that you’re oversharing and embrace feeling seen, heard, and cared for as you are. It might be uncomfortable initially, but the bond it creates is worth every moment.

1 – Learn New Communication Strategies

If you can learn how to connect with your partner, you’ll have an easier time sharing your life with them. You’ll want to tell them the details of your day and the problems you’re experiencing. Find ways that work for both of you, and you’ll become more comfortable sharing.

2 – Practice Identifying and Feeling Your Emotions So You Can Communicate Them

When you become comfortable experiencing your emotions, it gets easier to talk about them. It’ll take time, so start small or seek guidance from a therapist.

3 – Advocate For Yourself, Communicate, and Set Boundaries

Speak up for yourself, and don’t be afraid to reveal your truths. When you advocate for yourself, it enforces your boundaries, allowing you to feel comfortable and respected. If your partner doesn’t know how you feel or think, they won’t know when they’re crossing a line.

4 – Learn Your Partner’s Attachment Styles

The attachment theory refers to a person’s way of handling relationships. It’s based on how they received care early in their life. Each person’s style can offer insight into how they communicate.

Final Thoughts on Undersharing with Your Partner Leads to Isolation, According to Psychology

Undersharing with your partner can cause more issues than you might initially realize. It prevents you from forming a deep bond with your partner and can create tension and further problems. No matter the reason for your undersharing, you must overcome and find a way to fix it. If you want to connect with your significant other and develop a lasting connection, it’s time to open up.

4 Causes of Midlife Weight Gain, According to Doctors

August 1, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Like it or not, as you age, you’ll have to undergo some changes, especially physical ones. Though this doesn’t happen to everyone, most of the population will struggle with midlife weight gain. Sure, there are some incredibly fit people out there who can counteract these changes. Still, everyone’s body is bound to go through some things related to hormone changes as they age.

Although many people go through midlife weight gain, the topic is still somewhat taboo. We still live in a society that believes healthy and skinny are more or less synonymous. Most people assume someone thin probably eats well and goes to the gym, even when that might be the case.

And they can’t believe that curvier people might be the ones with a healthy, active lifestyle. Still, a lot of internalized shame comes with having a little more weight. And gaining weight had always been seen as one of the worst imaginable. When someone gains weight, they’ve “let themselves go.” There are immediate negative connotations associated with the process. It shouldn’t even matter if you want to gain weight or not.

4 Causes of Midlife Weight Gain

No one should judge people based on how they look. Instead, what you need to focus on, especially as you get older, is how healthy you are. Gaining weight and being curvier aren’t bad things, but obesity is still a medical concern. Instead of focusing on your appearance, focus on how healthy you are. One of the best ways to do that is by understanding why you go through midlife weight gain in the first place.

1. Your Hormones Are Going Haywire

Hormonal imbalance occurs whenever you have too much or too little of a specific hormone. Most people will only experience temporary imbalances, though sometimes these imbalances are signs of endocrine disease. Depending on the glands and hormones affected, these diseases differ. In many cases, they are treatable and can be kept under control. And age is a factor that increases the likelihood of endocrine disease.

As you probably know, older people often have type 2 diabetes. But even if you never have to deal with a disease, you’ll always have to deal with imbalances. Common causes of hormonal weight gain are thyroid hormone deficiency, estrogen dominance, androgen imbalance, and cortisol excess. These are to name a few. In reality, most hormones can somehow affect your weight.

Men aren’t as likely to go through midlife weight gain because of hormonal imbalances. The main factor that could cause this weight gain would be high levels of stress, which leads to excess cortisol. As the body goes into fight or flight, it induces the production of fat cells and causes a declining metabolism. But this isn’t even exclusive to men. Women are just as affected by stress as men are.

In this case, they got the short straw, as their menopause will surely lead to severe hormonal imbalances. Oestradiol is an estrogen steroid hormone that plays a vital role in reproduction and developing secondary sexual characteristics. But it also helps regulate metabolism and weight gain. As a result of menopause, oestradiol levels decrease, often leading to weight gain. Though these hormonal imbalances are inevitable for both sexes, you can still manage your weight. Watching what you eat and being active will help you stay within a healthy range.

2. Your Metabolism Slows Down

This is disputed, with some experts claiming that your metabolism doesn’t slow down after forty. Instead, some argue that your metabolism stays the same from 20 to 60. Still, most research shows that metabolism slows down as you age. It seems that the basal metabolic rate decreases almost linearly as you age.

This seems to be the case because muscle mass decreases as a percentage of total body mass. As you age, your body undergoes atrophic skeletal muscle changes. That means your energy consumption as a result of physical activity is lower. Older people have a lower energy requirement. All this shows that you must adjust your lifestyle to fit your new metabolism.

Midlife weight gain usually occurs because people are unaware their metabolism is slower. They don’t understand they need to eat leaner foods and exercise more. While nutrition is important, it doesn’t precisely counterbalance the effects of slower metabolism. You avoid some of these issues by ensuring you keep your muscle mass. When you have a higher muscle mass, you burn more calories.

Thus, you can eat as you normally would without any consequences. You don’t need to worry about making drastic changes if you have a relatively healthy life. But a slower metabolism will do much damage if you’re already unhealthy. You’re doing fine as long as your weight is within the normal BMI. If you have a healthy lifestyle, the worst that will happen is you’ll gain a few pounds.

3. You Aren’t Watching What You Eat

People have always had a hard time understanding nutrition. And there’s a lot of confusing information floating around on the topic. For example, some people claim you’re healthy if you eat under 1500 calories. Calories were the most critical factor of nutrition for a long time. People wouldn’t eat pork because it had more calories than chicken.

Or they wouldn’t touch creamy cheeses and cream for the same reason. It has become more commonly known that few calories don’t mean healthy. Making sure your groceries are as natural as possible is much more critical. You need to understand what food groups the foods you eat belong to. It would be ideal for you to cut out fast food as much as possible. Don’t just focus on calories.

But the worst part is that people often don’t know what they eat or why. Especially older people, always in a rush, eat what they can. They always claim they never have the time to cook, so they constantly eat takeout. Even if they do cook, they only pay attention to the taste. They don’t care how much oil they use, what type of meat, or which sides they make. People seem to think that spending time on understanding food is a waste.

That’s why many people gain weight as they grow older. They eat the same foods they always ate but don’t understand how they interact with their new body. A more aging body will not digest fats and sugars as quickly, which shows. You won’t be able to eat as much junk food or sweets. You’ll need to learn to substitute your favorite foods for healthier alternatives.

Instead of eating ice cream, get some frozen yogurt. Also, make sure you take the time to meal-prep. If your meat is already cut and seasoned, and you have cooked sides, you need to reheat. You’ll never need to order again. The more aware you are of what you eat, the more you’ll avoid midlife weight gain.

4. You Don’t Exercise Enough

Exercise is necessary at all stages of someone’s life. Even when you get older, you still need to stay in shape. Still, many older people don’t do any physical activities other than those required daily. In America, over 27% of people over 50 reported no extra physical activity outside work. The statistics from the CDC show that being sedentary is a real issue in today’s society. And inactivity is one of the main reasons for midlife weight gain.

There are many reasons why people are inactive. One of the main ones seems to be the lack of time. This is understandable, as handling a job, family, partner, and other responsibilities is hard. But if people wanted to make time, they could. There’s this misconception that physical activity has to be extreme. You aren’t active if you don’t run ten miles or bench 200 pounds.

But an active person also finds fifteen minutes for a workout. If you want something quick to burn loads of calories, try High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). The activities can be modified to fit beginner, intermediate and advanced levels. They can be done in the morning or whenever you find a few spare minutes. But another issue is that people rely on technology to do everything for them. For example, we drive everywhere and get little to no steps in.

Walking is one of the best ways to ensure you stay in shape without doing another physical activity. But we don’t even walk anymore. For older people, this means that they burn very few calories in a day, and they don’t even use their muscles enough. Because of that, inactivity is one of the leading causes of midlife weight gain. But this weight gain can be controlled if you do at least some exercise daily. Even walking to work can be a step in the right direction.

Final Thoughts on the Four Key Causes of Midlife Weight Gain

Reaching midlife isn’t easy at all. You have many responsibilities, a career you need to advance, and a family to look after. People usually feel burnt out and wonder whether they are thrilled with their life. Coupled with that, your body also starts going through loads of changes. You might be experiencing hair loss. Your muscles get weaker. Your eyesight might be worsening.

On top of that, you’re probably experiencing midlife weight gain. While this is normal, you can take steps to keep your weight under control. Your hormones and metabolism are probably the things you are struggling with the most. Everyone, no matter how healthy, experiences changes in hormones. As for metabolism, that will slow down with age, regardless of your lifestyle.

Still, you can mitigate their effects by eating well and exercising. Most people don’t pay attention to their nutrition, so they’ll put on those extra pounds. By cooking more and eating leaner, you can already lose some pounds. You should also start exercising, even for just fifteen minutes per day. Taking care of your body is a requirement, especially as you age.

5 Behaviors That Reveal a Partner Who Truly Values Their Relationship

August 1, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Trust is an essential thing to have in a relationship. But trust isn’t built in a matter of seconds. It has to be earned and nurtured. One of the things you need to know to feel safe in a loving relationship is that your partner values what you have.

It’s always nice to feel valued; you especially want to know your relationship is valued. Nobody wants to be in a relationship just because their partner is bored and wants to have someone. As your relationship gets more serious, you want to know it’s going somewhere. After dedicating five years of your life to someone, the last thing you want is to be broken up with like you don’t even matter.

But how can you ever tell if your partner truly values your relationship? Well, you can never be perfectly sure of how your partner feels. After all, all relationships pose some gambles. You always have to have a little faith in the possibility of your relationship being a success. Still, your partner can prove that they value your relationship.

They don’t even have to make any grand gestures. They don’t have to buy lavish gifts or take you on fancy vacations. That doesn’t mean they value you as much as it means they can flaunt their money. You can see it in little behaviors and acts when someone truly loves you.

5 Behaviors That Reveal a Partner Who Truly Values Their Relationship

If actions do speak louder than words, you should watch for these things.

1. Your Relationship Partner Does Not Just Focus on the Physical Aspect

Any new relationship has a “honeymoon phase” in which you and your partner will be all over each other. That’s completely normal, and it’s not indicative of you not valuing each other. You will go through this phase with the people you’ll have flings with. But you’ll also go through this phase with the person you marry.

Physical attraction is still a significant part of any relationship, even after this period ends. But when someone is in it just for the physical aspects, that’s a sign they don’t value the relationship. No strong connection can be built just on the physical aspects. Such a connection won’t have any long-term prospects.

If your partner truly values you, they will be loving and caring, not just focused on the physical. They will know that taking and getting to know you is just as important, if not more. They’ll stick around even when you do not want sex. For them, it’s enough to just lay in bed and watch a movie. The emotional aspect is something they care about and work for. They want to be by your side through thick and thin.

People who are just looking for a fling won’t do that. They won’t take their time to hang out with you. After all, why even bother if they’re looking for a hookup? So, if you’ve met someone who wants something more than just sex, that’s a sign they value your relationship. Don’t just settle for a fling in hopes they’ll eventually catch feelings. Go for the people who know how to balance all relationship aspects.

2. They Treat You with Kindness in a Loving, Valued Relationship

You’re probably aware that just because someone claims to love you doesn’t mean they’ll always treat you right. The people who claim to love you the most can also hurt you the most. When you start sharing your life with someone, you’ll eventually start having issues. The thing is, conflicts are every day. A healthy relationship is not about not having any disputes but knowing how to solve them and treat your partner.

People often settle for partners who yell at them and otherwise mistreat them. That happens because we always hope our loved ones will come around and start being nice to us. But kindness is never something you should ask for. If your partner isn’t kind to you of their own volition, chances are they don’t value you.

If you’ve ever wanted to know if your partner values you, pay attention to how they act. Don’t put up with people who are always snappy and ready to fight. No matter what they tell you, this behavior is unjustifiable if it happens repeatedly. Being mad or snappy sometimes is okay.

No one will ever think you don’t value them if you’ve had a bad day and you’re snappy. But if your partner always acts like that, there’s only one logical conclusion: they don’t value you as they should. Someone who respects you will always try their best to be kind, even when you’re fighting. A bad partner will yell and make fights worse, even leaving when they don’t want to deal with issues.

A good partner will stay calm and try to find ways to make things right. They will cut you slack when you are angry or tired. They’ll always be nice, even when you’re going through a rough patch. They want a stable, loving relationship, so they’ll always want to solve any issues you might be going through.

3. They Want to See You Succeed

People tend to be jealous. It’s a normal part of human existence. This jealousy comes from the psychological need to be the best out of your peers. From an evolutionary standpoint, humans have needed to have the instinct to be the best. Hundreds of years ago, you could end up dead if you weren’t above your peers. So, what does that have to do with relationships?

Although we can override our jealousy instinct, that doesn’t always happen, especially in romantic relationships. You might think your partner will only ever be jealous of other people who seem interested in you. But you’ll come across some partners who will be jealous of you. And the partners most likely to engage in this behavior are those who don’t value your relationship.

Someone who truly values you will want to see you succeed. They won’t care if you make more money than they do. As long as you are happy, they are delighted. Not only that, but they’ll do whatever they can to help you along the way. They’ll do that for you if you need them to take care of the house while you work. They will make sacrifices as long as both of you can be happy.

4. In a Valued Relationship, They’ll Always Check Up on You

When you first start dating someone, they’re expected to always text and talk to you. That’s either because they genuinely care or want to flirt and get you to date them. But sometimes, people stop putting in this effort after you start dating. If they don’t value your relationship, they’ll think they don’t have to try as you’re already together. But a relationship in which your partner takes you for granted will not last.

Someone who truly values you will always try to check on you and ensure you’re doing fine. While this gesture may seem insignificant, it can make all the difference. When someone constantly makes time to see how you are, that’s a sign they genuinely care. They want you to know they’re by your side no matter what.

This is especially important when you are both busy and can’t see each other for a while. A simple text can make you feel loved and cherished. And someone who values you knows how vital checking up on you is. It shows they thought about you even if they don’t have time to talk.

5. They Make Plans for the Future

Someone who truly values your relationship will want nothing more than to start a life with you. They’ll want to discuss the future and always include you in their plans. They don’t do it because they feel obligated to. They do it because having you in their life brings them pure joy.

But not everyone you’ll ever be with will do that. Some of your partners will run away from any discussions about the future. They’ll even refuse to plan for the next week, so making long-term plans is out of the question. This happens because these people don’t want to commit, so they avoid it at all costs.

It doesn’t matter what if they tell you they are spontaneous and don’t like plans. That’s just an excuse to let them off the hook. Someone who values you will want to talk about how your life will look and what you’ll do with your future.

Final Thoughts on Behaviors That Reveal a Partner Who Truly Values Their Relationship

Starting a new relationship is always thrilling and a journey on uncharted territories. It can be fun and exciting but also the scariest experience ever. And, if you want something serious, you need to be sure your partner wants that too. But, even if they tell you they value you, you can’t always take them at their word. People must also prove they deserve your trust to believe they are genuinely committed to you.

Someone who truly values you will show you that through their actions. They won’t just take you for granted. Instead, they’ll make a real effort to ensure the relationship grows and flourishes. If someone values you, they understand that the emotional part of the relationship is just as important as the physical side, if not more. Instead of getting mad and being mean, they’ll treat you with kindness and respect.

They’ll always be by your side and will fight to see you succeed. Even if they need to make sacrifices, they’ll do them because that’s how much the relationship means to them. This kind of partner will always take the time to make sure you’re okay, and they’ll want to talk to you as often as they can. But probably the most evident sign is that they’ll imagine and discuss a future with you. When you find someone like this, learn to love and cherish them.

3 Signs of Commitment Issues Most People Ignore

July 31, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

People often talk about the red flags of a toxic relationship. But they often forget to mention that being with someone with commitment issues is harmful in and of itself. Or they don’t talk about why these issues appear in the first place and how they can affect a faithful relationship.

One of the most common results of trauma, especially childhood neglect, is developing commitment issues. Relationships are complicated, and being devoted to someone for the rest of your life can seem scary and impossible to achieve. Still, people yearn to have someone. So, it’s not uncommon for these people to be in relationships. The bad part is that those relationships never seem to work out.

It would be best if you were careful about commitment issues. If you are the one who has them, you’ll never be able to build something meaningful. You’ll only get hurt if you are with someone who has them. Either way, you’ll need to learn to manage these issues if you have them and avoid falling for someone emotionally unavailable.

Why Do People Have Commitment Issues?

Most people probably understand what having commitment issues mean, but they are not always familiar with the specific term. The term describes harmful actions and mental health concerns an individual engages in due to fear of commitment. Feeling anxiety when considering being in a relationship is one of the most common symptoms. And it’s not just about serious romantic relationships.

People with commitment issues find it hard to hold onto friendships or casual relationships. Sometimes, these issues can even cause problems in the workplace. No matter how weird it might seem, a fear of commitment might make you reject long-term projects and assignments. Many people don’t give being faithful much thought. They understand they exist but often feel like there’s a quick solution. Contrary to popular belief, you can’t just wake up and decide, “I’m not going to be afraid of commitment anymore.”

True, some people don’t want to make a relationship work, and they are the ones who could wake up and decide to change. But that’s not the case with people dealing with commitment issues. It’s not that they wouldn’t want to have a stable relationship. They can’t because they don’t know how to deal with the trauma that caused these issues.

Amongst the leading causes of commitment issues is childhood trauma, especially neglect. The first people we trust are our parents. So, when they break our trust, they teach us we can never trust anyone. If you’ve been neglected or mistreated as a child, you’ll grow up to believe no one will have your best interest at heart.

After all, if your parents didn’t look out for you, why would other people? Or at least that’s what a child is going to believe. Part of neglect is learning that emotions are wrong and you should be cold and independent. Because of that, you grow up without knowing how to manage your feelings or even what they mean.

How Neglect in Childhood Contributes to Commitment Issues Later

Michelle Halle, a licensed clinical social worker, specializing in emotional abuse, warns people that neglect will make them unable to socialize. Her work has shown that neglect can render people unable to have meaningful relationships in the future. Luckily, she believes that people can fix this through therapy.

While neglect is one of the more common causes, other forms of abuse can lead to commitment issues. They all have a similar impact: they make people believe they are unworthy of being cared for. Often, people find it hard to trust after having lived through abuse. Not to mention that abuse victims have PTSD and those horrible images will likely never leave their minds. But they don’t even have to be abused directly.

Growing up in a toxic environment is enough to develop commitment issues. If your parents always fought and were aggressive towards one another, you’ll believe that’s how all relationships are. A bad example of relationships can affect how you approach them for the rest of your life. Even going through your parent’s divorce or marital problems can make someone struggle with a faithful relationship.

Not all commitment issues are born of childhood trauma. Developing these issues is common due to toxic and abusive past relationships. When someone has betrayed you, you may fear it will happen again. You won’t be able to give people the benefit of the doubt. You’ll always assume that everyone can hurt you, no matter how genuine they seem.

3 Signs of Commitment Issues Most People Ignore (You Deserve Someone Faithful!)

You’ll always be paranoid and think you are getting betrayed again. Every text message your partner gets could be from a potential side-piece. At least that’s what will go through your head constantly. You won’t get over your commitment issues without ever healing from all this trauma. But how can you tell when you or others struggle to stay faithful?

1. Constantly Telling Little Lies Can Hint to Whether Someone Will Be Faithful

People know that when someone is lying, there’s something shady in the middle. But that’s mostly regarding big and apparent lies. People always brush over white lies like they don’t even matter. But when someone goes out of their way to lie about what they ate for breakfast, you should be concerned about that.

Because of how parents raised them, people with commitment issues also have a history of mistrust. They were likely betrayed in the past and are afraid that will happen to them again. Chances are, they are used to lying because of their upbringing. So, they lie even when they have no reason to, just because it feels safer for them to lie.

You must be aware that you shouldn’t let these lies slide. After all, if they can lie to you about little things, they might be hiding something worse. Even worse, they could be making promises they don’t intend to keep. Confront them about those little lies and see how they react.

If they get defensive instead of trying to solve the issue, that’s a sign you can’t trust them. If you find that you are the one who lies about little things, you might be dealing with some unresolved issues. Commitment issues and lying is wrong for both parties involved, and you must sort out these differences.

2. Jumping From One Relationship to Another Signals an Issue With Being Faithful

Believe it or not, only having casual relationships and flings is not always something people do for fun. For many young people, that might be true. They don’t know what they want from a serious relationship and want nothing to bind them. But it can also signify that someone is dealing with commitment issues.

If someone struggles to commit, that doesn’t mean they’ll run from relationships at all costs. People still want to be loved, even if they don’t know how to devote themselves to someone. If your partner has a history of brief relationships and infidelity, that’s a red flag. Sometimes, they might be ashamed of their past and willing to change.

But more often than not, this behavior will keep repeating. Talk to them about their behavior if you want more out of your relationship. But be careful because boundaries won’t work in this situation. If they fear attachment, they will cross any line to get out if they get stuck. The main issue is that, even though people dealing with commitment issues hate abuse and infidelity, it’s all they know.

When a new relationship gets too much, they’ll return to toxic behaviors because those actions are familiar. Your only option is to break up if you suspect your partner is engaging in this pattern.

3. A Person Who Struggles to Be Faithful Will Never Want to Put a Label on Your Relationship

Labels scare the living hell out of most people. You don’t even have to deal with commitment issues to feel anxious at the thought of having to label yourself. On the other hand, happy couples jump at the occasion to present themselves as such. Maybe you won’t be official in the first couple of months of dating. But it’s a red flag if the one you see flat-out refuses to label you as their boyfriend or girlfriend after months of seeing each other.

You’ll often let go of the fact that your partner refuses labels. But what you should understand is that labels are essential in any relationship. First, they act as an unspoken agreement between you that you’ll be devoted to the relationship. Second, it’s a social cue that lets other people know not to advance on either of you.

No matter how insignificant labels seem, they promise you’ll take your relationship seriously. But people who have commitment issues won’t go for labels because it makes them feel trapped. Plus, it forces them to take accountability for their actions. They won’t be able to play the “well, we’re not in a relationship” card when they mess up. Don’t wait around for someone who doesn’t want to make things official. And don’t do that to someone else either.

Final Thoughts on Signs of Commitment Issues Most People Ignore

Commitment issues are not something that you should take lightly. It hurts the one who’s dealing with them, along with the people they get involved with, as these issues come from unresolved trauma. Still, if someone has issues being faithful, you should stay away from them. You won’t have a future with them unless they solve their problems.

There are many signs of commitment issues, but many people overlook them. Or some people even make excuses for them. Telling white lies, constantly jumping from one relationship to the next, and refusing labels are signs that people always never take seriously. They often correlate with commitment issues. Instead, they present, as usual, excusable behaviors. If your partner shows any of these signs, you should consider moving on to someone better. But if you are always doing things like these, maybe it’s time to see a therapist.

3 Causes of Emotional Injury and 3 Methods of Healing

July 31, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Everyone knows you can get physical injuries from falling or physically hurting yourself. Some physical injuries aren’t a big deal, just minor bruises, and scratches that will heal in a few days. But you can also get an emotional injury due to a traumatic event. And these are the injuries that are less visible and less known. When you get a visible wound, you will never leave it untreated.

You’d go to a doctor or tend to it yourself if you can. So why do people brush off emotional wounds like they don’t even matter? Part of why this happens is that people aren’t aware that emotions leave marks. They don’t know that some trauma is so bad that it scars you for life. But even those who know about emotional injuries don’t always know how to heal them.

It can be challenging to deal with such a heavy burden, but there are ways to do it. You can heal such wounds alone or with the help of friends, family, and even professionals. You must also understand why emotional injuries even form before trying to heal them.

3 Causes of Emotional Injury

These factors will give you insight into the causes of a guarded heart.

1. Unresolved Past Trauma

One of the most common causes of emotional injuries is unresolved past trauma, which everyone has. No matter how great your childhood was, you are bound to have been scarred somehow. Maybe your parents didn’t give you enough attention. Perhaps people put too much pressure on you. Many factors could have affected you without you even realizing it.

The most common events that cause trauma are cases of abuse, violence, bullying, or neglect. Of course, some things can traumatize you more than others. Repeated abuse will leave a mark that will probably never go away. But even witnessing violence, like having parents who hit each other, will traumatize you. And these issues will stick with you forever.

As luck would have it, traumatized kids grow up to be traumatized adults. Sure, most of these adults can be functioning members of society. But that doesn’t mean the trauma is not still affecting them on a fundamental level. Most of the time, this trauma lives deep inside, and you don’t even realize it’s there.

People with unresolved trauma often relieve traumatic episodes through flashbacks or nightmares. Even the people who don’t shed their past still have to deal with anxiety, depression, anger, trust issues, and withdrawal. Sometimes, these issues even escalate into self-destructive or risky behaviors.

2. Bad Relationships

Being around other people can complete us. Still, there are some people in this world with whom we can connect so well that our lives completely change. But when it comes to interpersonal relationships, not everything goes smoothly. Some relationships can scar you so much that you wish you would have never had them. And those are the relationships that cause emotional injuries.

The fact that you can get hurt in relationships is actually for both platonic and romantic relationships. Friends can betray you just as well as a partner or family member. Still, trauma can come from a toxic romantic or family relationship. And every person has had at least one toxic relationship in their life. Maybe your parents used guilt or force when things don’t go their way.

Perhaps you grew up in a violent and toxic environment. Maybe you had an abusive partner. After all, haven’t we all had at least one relationship? And there are many toxic behaviors that you can’t even spot at first. Some controlling behaviors, like co-dependency, seem normal at first.

It’s usually not until late that people realize they are stuck in a bad situation. Being out through situations like those or being betrayed by friends and family will undoubtedly leave some marks.

3. Accidents, Violence, and Other Overlooked Causes

Most people don’t think that even accidents and events that society defines as unfortunate but usual are still causes of trauma. Almost any event that scares you or significantly changes your life will leave a mark. Amongst these causes, things like robberies, being caught in a shooting, or other acts of violence are the ones that people understand will leave a mark.

Even in those cases, people think that if you only witnessed such an event, you should not feel the brunt of the trauma. But witnesses often have to deal with PTSD and other signs of emotional distress. Still, many other events leave emotional marks that people often overlook. For example, car accidents are prevalent, and a small one shouldn’t theoretically cause any harm. But even the slightest mishap can make someone refuse to step into a car again.

Sports accidents are just as expected and can be just as damaging. Besides the physical pain, these injuries render players unable to do what they love. Things like that are bound to leave people traumatized. Other things that some underestimate are divorce and the loss of a loved one. People think everything will go back to normal after you go through the grieving period. But those things leave marks that might never go away.

3 Methods of Healing

Now that you understand the root of the problem, where does healing start?

1. Use Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a relatively new field. But many advances have been made in this area over the past few decades. Still, the roots of mindfulness date back hundreds of years ago. Eastern civilizations relied on meditation for as long as anyone can remember. Only now has it started to seep into mainstream psychology. And it has been proven to be a relatively easy tool to use with many advantages.

For some people, mindfulness has been the key to overcoming their trauma. While no one can guarantee that it will solve all your issues. But it’s a good place to start. And, incorporating just a little bit of mindfulness into your daily life can make you feel loads better.

The basics of mindfulness are simple: you must listen to what your mind and body are telling you. In our daily life, we don’t always stop and take the time to be fully aware of what we feel and think. If we feel pain, we’ll potentially brush it off until it goes away. But that’s neither healthy nor will it help you heal from an emotional injury.

When being mindful, you are just taking the time to take account of your feelings. This is usually done through meditation or breathing exercises. This is helpful because it lets you feel all the emotions caused by the trauma. When you understand how you feel, you can start working on solving the problems.

2. Connect With People

People can have emotional injuries from many causes. But, if we were to boil them down, we would find that disempowerment and disconnection from others are the roots. Research shows that every different trauma can be traced to one of these two feelings. And the same study states that creating new connections is one of the most efficient ways to heal.

What’s especially important is finding people who can listen to you and act as your support system. People dealing with trauma usually struggle with trust issues, and they might want to isolate themselves. If you are in this situation, you must remember that you don’t need to go out and party all the time. All you need to do is make an effort to meet new people and communicate.

You also don’t need to give new people your trust from the beginning. People need to earn it; you need to be willing to give it. You’ll find that when someone’s there to listen to you and be supportive, you’ll be able to heal—having people around you to take care of you when things are tough means that you can take the time to focus on yourself.

3. Write About Your Feelings

Writing is a big part of healing from any emotional injury. It has been demonstrated throughout history that people write when they have something on their chest. After all, that’s where all great art came from. People have always used writing as an outlet, and its psychological benefits have been proven.

Research from Harvard shows that expressive writing can get you through hard times. You don’t need to be talented to write about what you feel. Even something like writing your thoughts in a journal will work. The whole point is to have an outlet for your feelings, regardless of their forms. If you want to write poetry or a novel, do that. Writing about your negative experiences can be freeing.

It can make you feel like your pain doesn’t own you anymore. It’s even been suggested that writing about trauma changes the way it’s organized in the brain. This can allow you to disconnect from the pain and deal with it properly.

Final Thoughts on Some Causes of Emotional Injury and Some Methods of Healing

Emotional injuries are something that everyone has. Even though you might not realize it, they’re still there and probably affecting your life. Everyone has lived through some traumatic event that they haven’t addressed. Most of the time, this happens because people always have to deal with repressed childhood trauma.

Being abused, bullied, or living in a violent environment will leave a lasting mark. But even relationship trauma and other overlooked issues, like accidents and divorce, will impact you. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to heal these emotional injuries. One of the most effective things you can do is incorporate mindfulness into your life. Use meditation or breathing exercises to get in touch with your feelings.

Writing can also help you put your thoughts in order and release some of the pressure of the trauma. You also need to ensure you don’t go through this alone. Make an effort to create new connections and find people that can be your support system.

Groundbreaking Implant Can REVERSE Parkinson’s Disease Symptoms

July 31, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Surgeons at Southmead Hospital in Bristol, England, revealed a revolutionary treatment to reverse Parkinson’s disease. Called the Picostim™ DBS system, the deep brain stimulation device targets malfunctioning firing patterns in the brain. Then, the implant delivers electrical impulses to these areas, helping improve tremors and other motor control symptoms.

Tony Howells, the first patient in the world to receive the treatment, described the results as “amazing.” 25 patients, including Tony, have been selected for a trial at North Bristol NHS Trust, which will conclude in 2023.

If the trial proves successful, it will mark a huge step forward in treating Parkinson’s disease. Throughout the trial, scientists will monitor the safety and effectiveness of the implant. While it doesn’t claim to cure the disease, it can help manage symptoms and reduce the severity.

While approval for DBS devices to treat Parkinson’s exists globally, the costs and difficulty of the surgery limit its accessibility. Currently, under 5% of people with the disease receive this treatment.

However, the Picostim™ DBS system, developed by Bioinduction, contains a battery about one-third the size of traditional DBS devices. So, surgeons can implant the battery directly in the skull, which delivers electrical impulses to the brain. For comparison, other DBS devices with larger batteries, such as pacemakers, are placed beneath the skin of the chest.

Placing the implant in the skull eliminates the need for additional wires running through the chest and neck. Scientists hope that the world’s most miniature electrical impulse generator can make treatments more accessible.

This would reduce the cost and complexity associated with the surgery without impacting the benefits of treatment. Also, surgeons believe it would reduce the need for follow-up surgeries to repair frayed wires.

First Patient in the World Receives Cutting-Edge Parkinson’s Disease Treatment

The trial’s first patient, Tony Howells, received the device in November 2020. He got diagnosed with Parkinson’s about nine years ago when he noticed a slight tremor in his right hand. Tony said that even something simple, such as tying shoelaces, became a huge ordeal. What should take a few seconds ended up taking him three or four minutes due to the pain and tremors.

Mr. Howells said:

“You can’t understand how frustrating [Parkinson’s] is until it happens to you. Just doing your shoelaces up is a major operation… it affects your every day life no end.”

He said that before the operation, he went for a walk with his wife and only got 200 yards from the car. He reluctantly had to turn around and cut the trip short because he couldn’t walk any farther.

However, twelve months after the surgery, he went out for Boxing Day again and walked 2.5 miles. He said he could’ve even walked farther! Tony also enjoys being able to play golf again and move more quickly, in general.

The surgery only took three hours, about half the time of a traditional DBS implantation. Tony also said he felt a bit tired after the surgery but had no pain. Additionally, he noted that an uncomfortable side effect from his Parkinson’s disease medication, dystonia, had disappeared. Dystonia refers to involuntary muscle contractions that cause repetitive or awkward movements.

“To say I am happy about having DBS is an understatement, it’s a great way to give somebody their life back,” Tony said.

Dr. Alan Whone, Consultant Neurologist at North Bristol NHS Trust, who led the trial, said:

“We are delighted with how this first case went in the operating theatre and with how the patient’s symptoms have been improved over the last year. We are hopeful that if these findings hold up, we will have a significant technical advance by which to improve Parkinson’s care across the world”.

Who Can Benefit From The Implant Treatment?

Unfortunately, the small electrical impulse generator isn’t suitable for everyone with Parkinson’s disease. Dr. Whone says that among the 140,000 UK citizens living with Parkinson’s, only 14,000 would benefit from the device. He added that elderly patients or those with cognitive decline associated with Parkinson’s wouldn’t qualify.

The surgery applies to younger people with Parkinson’s who can have brain surgery without unnecessary risks. Surgeons place the small device in a pocket in the skull bone. Then, they run electric probes through the skull into the subthalamic nuclei located deep within the brain. If the trial proves successful, it could double the number of people eligible for the DBS device.

Dr. Beckie Port, Head of Research Communications at Parkinson’s UK, adds: ”This new device has the potential to make existing DBS surgery quicker, safer and cheaper. It could make DBS therapy more widely available to a larger number of people with Parkinson’s. However, it is important to know that DBS is not a cure and it’s not suitable for everyone with the condition.’’

Parkinson’s disease affects the nervous system and eventually damages or kills brain cells. This can lead to painful, uncomfortable symptoms such as involuntary tremors, loss of motor control, and muscle stiffness. Most people develop symptoms after age 50, but about 20% of patients experience symptoms before turning 40.

Currently, about 7-10 million people worldwide have Parkinson’s disease. DBS treatments have been available since 1995, but only a tiny percentage of patients qualify for the surgery. Hopefully, Parkinson’s disease treatments will continue to improve and eventually lead to a cure.

Final Thoughts on Groundbreaking Parkinson’s Disease Device

A trial for the world’s smallest DBS device to treat Parkinson’s disease is currently underway. Surgeons at Southmead Hospital in Bristol, England, have selected 25 patients for the trial. The patients will undergo implantation surgery, where surgeons will place the device in their skull bone. Then, electrical impulses will travel through wires to areas deep within the brain.

This will effectively reverse Parkinson’s disease symptoms such as tremors, difficulty walking, and other motor control issues. While the device will not cure the disease, it still represents advancements in treatment options. Hopefully, more patients will qualify for the surgery moving forward and receive the benefits of this revolutionary DBS system.

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