If you’re anything like the average human, you’ve probably gotten yourself into some complicated romantic entanglements before. You’ve probably had an abusive partner or at least a relationship that seemed promising but was a let-down. If you’re reading this, you undoubtedly regret your choices in your love life. But just because the past didn’t turn out great doesn’t mean the future can’t be a little brighter. The time will come when you will find a partner that won’t lead to instant regret.
Your lousy past experiences have probably made you lose hope of finding someone to make you happy. You probably don’t believe you can build a long-term relationship with someone new. Maybe you don’t even want to have faith in people again. But this will only keep you from finding the right person. You must believe that someone out there can make you feel loved again.
But before starting anything with anyone, evaluate what you want from a relationship. Furthermore, you must watch for some signs that the person you are interested in is worth it. This might seem like you’ll be taking a clinical approach when choosing a partner. But that’s not a bad thing. It’s always better to make sure you back your feelings with logic than to be impulsive and get hurt.
What Should a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
Before considering any new people as potential partners, you must understand what a healthy relationship should look like. And the best way to do that is to evaluate your past relationships and understand why they didn’t work out. While those relationships cause regret, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them.
What you should know about any relationship is that to be healthy, there must be trust, open communication, and boundaries. These characteristics are essential, but they are not all a relationship needs to have. If you want to avoid regret, you must also ensure that your partner’s and your needs are met. But first, you need to understand what your needs are. This can look different for everybody. Some people want to have something casual with no strings attached.
Others want to build something long-lasting, maybe even start a family. Everyone has different goals and views, so understanding yours can take to closer to having a good relationship. Another critical factor that can make or break a relationship is having similar principles you base your life. This doesn’t mean you must have all the same goals as your partner. Maybe you want to focus on your career, and they want to start a family, but you can compromise.
If you are willing to change your focus in a few years and start a family, and they will wait, it will all work out. But if you never want to have kids, things won’t work out, and the relationship will probably lead to regret. This can be true for moral values because the relationship can become unstable if they don’t align. All these factors are things you should consider before looking for potential partners.
This is precisely why past relationships can be a learning experience. Even though they led to regret, you can learn from your mistakes and become better at finding love. If you had an abusive relationship, at least you know what red flags to look for. Even the worst possible situations can help you pursue a better life if you learn to use them to your advantage. Still, most relationships don’t end because of abuse. They end because people grow and they don’t see eye to eye anymore.
You can learn from these situations how to make sure you and your partner stay on the same page. A healthy relationship is based on people being able to make compromises and sacrifices for the person they’re with. Not everyone is ready to have a relationship, and it’s okay if you aren’t there yet. You may still haven’t fully healed from your last failed experience. In that case, the future of your romantic life is contingent on your ability to make sure you can be a good partner. We might like to think that other people cause all our regrets, but that’s not always true.
Sometimes, we cause issues that end the relationship ourselves. Even if your intentions are good, sometimes you mess up. You might not know how to communicate or respect someone else’s needs. So, it’s not enough to look for the best potential partner. You need to make sure that you have the potential to be a good partner.
4 Signs Your New Relationship Won’t Lead to Instant Regret
Do you see any of these behaviors in your new partner? You might have found a long-lasting love.
1. You Can Be Yourself Around Them
Even though all relationships need sacrifice and compromise to work out, that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are for someone. In fact, feeling like you need to change for someone is a red flag. The right person will accept you for who you are. And they won’t just accept you; they will love everything about you, even the imperfections. You must understand it’s worth waiting for someone who will make you feel comfortable being who you are.
From the first meeting someone, you can understand how genuine you can be around them. With some people, the connection is instant, and they make you feel comfortable from the beginning. If you are interested in someone who makes you feel like that, that’s a sign you should go for something more. If you form a romantic bond with someone who accepts you, that won’t lead to regret. In fact, it might even mean you found “the one.”
2. They Bring Out the Best in You
Emotions can be weird sometimes. Connecting with someone can completely change your personality based on how you interact with them. You’ll probably be angry and mean when you’re around angry and abusive people. Even if you don’t become toxic, you’ll still isolate yourself and change how you interact with people. But being around the right people will bring out the best in you.
Some people positively affect you and will make you want to be a better person. Even though they see your imperfections, they will want to see you become the best version of yourself. And you can see that in how the people around you interact with you. If your love interest is someone who always wants to help you navigate your issues, that’s a sign they’re the right one for you. They won’t lash out at you and always try to force you to do things their way. Instead, they’ll complete you and give you the motivation you need to succeed.
3. You Feel Like You Can Share Everything with Them
Most regrets in relationships come because of the things you didn’t feel you could say at the right time. People drift apart when they let issues simmer without ever talking about them. And there are some people you won’t feel you can open up around. Even if you love someone, it doesn’t mean you think they understand you. This is true even for platonic relationships.
You might love your parents, but that doesn’t mean you feel like you can share your life with them. Some people can be judgemental, meaning you’re better off hiding some things from them. But you’ll regret having a relationship with someone like that. You will come across people who instill trust from the moment you meet them. There will be something about them that makes you feel comfortable opening up. That’s because you know they’ll never judge or try to use what you tell them against you.
You can talk about your trauma and tell them your whole life story; they’ll listen. They’re there to talk about anything, whether the discussion is light and fun or the topic is more serious. They are interested in getting to know you and always make time to talk to you.
4. You Find Ways to Manage Your Relationship Conflicts
If you want to avoid feeling regret in a relationship, you must know you can handle conflicts. In every relationship, no matter how stable it seems, there will always be issues that need solving. Having problems is natural, and they can even help you strengthen your relationship. The key is knowing how to solve them healthily. And a clear sign that you found someone worthwhile is that you can talk through any problem.
Some people don’t act in good faith when in conflict. When they do something wrong or someone has an issue with them, they feel caged and lash out. Others don’t have the empathy to work things out and arrive at the best possible solutions for both parties. Still, some people will prove they’ll do their best to solve your conflicts. But someone willing to sit down and have a serious discussion to make things work is someone you won’t regret being with.
Final Thoughts on Signs Your New Partner Won’t Lead to Instant Regret
Your past relationships have probably brought along great hurt and regret. But that doesn’t mean all your relationships will be like that. Just because there’s a pattern in your past doesn’t mean you can’t break it. It just takes meeting the right person to build a relationship that will fulfill you.
When you first meet someone, you can’t be sure they won’t end up hurting you. But some signs can give an idea about who they are. If you feel you can be genuine and open around them, they’re someone you can grow with. Even more important, if you can healthily manage your conflicts, you’ll make things work out. You won’t regret pursuing a relationship with them if you feel safe sharing your life. So, as long as you have a little faith, you’ll find someone who will be the perfect match for you.