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15 Reasons to Love Your Body Just As It Is

October 12, 2022 by Chris Butler

Are you at the edge of insanity by trying fad diets and worrying about your weight? What if you learn to love your body without a doubt? Most men want those six-pack abs, and women desire an hourglass figure that fits perfectly into clothes, but it’s unrealistic. Instead of bodyshaming, show yourself some grace and love.

According to International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology and Education, the average size of a woman today falls between sizes sixteen to eighteen. Shockingly, this is considered plus size, and you’ll never have a skinny-waisted hourglass figure based on statistics. Conversely, some people are naturally super-thin and desire more curves, much to their dismay. Either way, you are perfect! You must learn to stop bodyshaming yourself and learn to love the skin you’re in.

Fifteen Reasons to Love Your Body

You’re never going to look like Hollywood’s elite, as it’s impossible. Since you’re stuck with your body, you must learn to rock it! Self-love means taking care of and loving yourself, even those pesky imperfections. Here are some reasons you must learn to love your body, and you will see all the benefits of this positive mindset.

1. You Feel More Comfortable in Your Skin When You Love Your Body

It’s a waste of time to worry constantly about your figure. Unless you’re severely overweight (or underweight) and it affects your health, you need to give yourself a break. Don’t waste rare opportunities to buy those stylish jeans you’ve always wanted. Love your body the way it is, and dress yourself to flatter your physique.

2. When You Quit Bodyshaming and Love Yourself, Your Sensuality Will Increase

Everyone has a sensual side. When you have no inhibitions with your body, you will allow yourself to give and receive pleasure with greater confidence. People who are reserved and have body shaming issues won’t feel free to embrace this side of themselves. When you learn to love yourself just as you are, you will be a more enthusiastic lover.

3. You’ll Attract More People When You Love Your Body As-Is

You’ll attract more of the same when you’re a positive person who doesn’t engage in harmful bodyshaming. The energy that flows from you will be well-received by others. Self-acceptance is a beautiful thing to possess, as you will attract people who also support this healthy lifestyle. You will learn that it’s less about what’s on the outside and more about what’s on the inside.

4. You’ll Ward off Depression When You Stop Bodyshaming

According to Harvard Medical School, depression can occur for several reasons. First, it can happen due to conditions that weigh heavily on your mind and body, which is called circumstantial. This situation can happen due to organic reasons or an imbalance of chemicals within the brain.

While you can’t control some things with your mind, you do have the power to control other aspects. Did you know that when you learn to love your body just as it is, you will be less likely to be depressed? Self-love is accepting what you have, curves and all. You will feel stronger and healthier mentally when you believe you’re handsome or beautiful.

5. You Feel Liberty to Express Yourself

When you love your body, you will feel a sense of liberty that others don’t possess. Self-love can compel you to go out on a limb and show your artistic expression, regardless of what others think. You don’t fear every little step you make in life, as you’re confident and able to take a few hits.

People become dissatisfied when they expect themselves to be perfect. However, confidence comes with self-love, and you’ll feel like you can tackle the world.

6. Self-Love Enhances the Mind/Body Connection

Accepting yourself gives you a higher state of awareness of your mind and body connection. Learning to love your body makes you more in tune with the relationship between your physical and mental being. You will be able to identify things that affect your mood, focus, and overall well-being, and you can take steps to fix them.

7. Your Health Will Improve When You Stop Bodyshaming

Self-love does terrific things for your mind. Did you know that a better mindset can improve your health? When you accept and love yourself, you will celebrate the temple that houses your soul. You will want to live healthier and eat better, as you’re all about self-care and nourishment.

8. It Grounds You Spiritually

When you kick body shaming to the curb, it helps to ground you spiritually. Your body is a temple, and this is a place where your soul rests. When you accept the temple you already have, it helps to keep you centered spiritually.

You have unique qualities unlike anyone on planet earth, so you can learn to celebrate and accept these gifts and talents. Self-love will only make your spiritual self more vital and stronger.

9. Your Confidence Will Soar

Have you ever been around someone who doesn’t like who they are? They hold their head down, lack confidence, and have an unhealthy body image. Consequently, when you love your body, you feel calmer and more comfortable, and people won’t mind being around you. Folks like to be around self-assured, as they don’t whine and constantly spew negativity.

10. You’ll Attract the Perfect Mate if You Love Your Body

Have you ever met someone who settles for a partner that’s not good for them? Sadly, they live a life of complete chaos because of their bad choices. Most people who choose out of desperation live to regret their decisions.

However, when you’re comfortable in your skin, you don’t need to find a partner as much as you desire companionship. The desperation level drops dramatically, and you can make sound judgments. You will enhance your charisma, which potential partners will find very attractive.

11. You’ll Have More Energy

You will have higher energy levels when you walk like someone with clout. When you feel good about yourself, you will increase your posture. Holding yourself in such a manner increases the blood flow to all your vital organs as the circulation is enhanced. You will notice that you feel better when you hold your head up high and are proud of who you are.

12. Love Your Body… You’ll Have More Fun

People that lack self-love and engage in body shaming won’t be as eager to get out and do things. They will think of 101 reasons why they can’t go out with their friends, as they feel uncomfortable and like everyone is watching them. However, when you love your body and your personality, you will be free to go out and have fun at a moment’s notice.

13. You Accept the Things You Can’t Change

There are many things in your life that you cannot change, and your body is one of them. There’s no reason to engage in bodyshaming and crying over something that most people can’t fix.

You can’t change your bone structure or genetics, so you must learn to embrace your curves. Learning to accept your body the way it opens your mind to realize there are other things you can’t alter.

14. You Learn You’re Unique and Special and Love Your Body Because It’s Unique

Most people fantasize about having a body like a model or being free enough to wear that bikini or tight shorts on the beach. However, the world would be very dull if everyone was a carbon copy of each other. Individuality is the key to making the world unique. Besides that, telling yourself you “can’t” wear an itty-bitty bikini is another sneaky type of bodyshaming.

When you learn to love yourself and stop body shaming, you will realize that you have unique features like your eyes, lips, legs, and toes. Instead of putting yourself down, you will learn to find things you like about yourself.

15. You’ll Treat Yourself Like Royalty

Have you ever seen how princes and princesses are treated in royal families? They have people who help them get dressed, special spa days, and they make sure their clothes are always perfect. You will see your actual value when you learn to love your body. You will treat yourself as you deserve to be treated, as you matter.

Final Thoughts on Learning to Skip Bodyshaming and Love Your Body

Many people go through life miserable because they’ve never learned to love who they are in this life. They have low self-esteem and engage in bodyshaming because they feel uncomfortable in their skin. Then, you’ve seen people who don’t care what others think of them and love themselves for who they are.

Look at Christy Metz or Melissa McCarthy. These beautiful and talented stand-outs defied the odds and made it big in Hollywood. They both have done television and movies because their charisma is infectious. People love watching them because they look beyond the exterior to see the actual talent. These women are perfect examples of why you need to love your body and never let a thing like weight hold you back.

Isn’t it time to love your body without judgment?

10 Morning Habits For A More Positive Mindset (In 5 Minutes Or Less)

October 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you struggle to stay in a positive mindset? Keeping your optimism at the right level when there’s so much negativity around you is difficult. Many folks notice that mornings are incredibly challenging. However, this is the time that sets the tone for positivity for the rest of your day.

What if changing your day and incorporating more positivity into it was as easy as adjusting a few things? Do you have five minutes to spare? If so, it could be just what you need to change your negativity into a more positive one.

Ten Morning Habits to Improve Your Mindset

Optimism comes easy for some folks, but many struggle to stay in a positive mindset when they’re under stress. It’s all because of the negativity bias. Every negative thing that happens to you will affect you three times more than anything positive.

So, it’s easy to see why you can get into this pessimistic frame of mind and throw your positive mindset out the door. The good news is that you can change it! Using these ten tips below, you can empower yourself to change your day and life.

1. Get Up Early to Better Support a Positive Mindset

Many people fall into the trap of sleeping in, and this is especially true on the weekends. The problem with sleeping too late is that it throws your circadian rhythm off balance. According to the National Institute of General Medical Sciences, this 24-hour cycle is your internal clock.

It helps your body to function and run on a schedule. You keep the clock on an even keel when you get up at around the same time each day. Have you ever had a watch with a drained battery that started to lose time?

Your body is very similar to this, as it’s hard for you to function when your internal clock gets off kilter. How can you have a positive mindset if you’re exhausted and your body is out of sync?

2. Try Positive Affirmations

One way to get into a better mindset and to bring positivity into your life is by using affirmations. If you dwell on all the negative things when your eyes open, you start the day on the wrong foot. You want to begin your day by saying something like this:

“I will have a great day.”
“I will accomplish all I need to.”
“I’m loved, and therefore today I will love.”
“I will show kindness to everyone I meet.”
“I will thrive under pressure.”

When you train the tone of your inner voice from pessimism to optimism, you will see how different your day is. Those with a positive mindset believe they can tackle whatever comes their way, while the negative one will procrastinate and run.

3. Mediate or Pray to Increase Optimism

Take a few minutes when you awaken to meditate or pray. This helps you get the right mindset to conquer whatever you face that day. You don’t need anything long and drawn out, as you can do some deep breathing and get yourself in a positive mindset.

Asking the Universe or your Higher Power for help is never a bad idea. Spirituality is an integral part of your being and can help you in the darkest days.

4. Fuel a Positive Mindset and Healthy Body with Protein

Do you skip breakfast or grab a donut or granola bar on the way out the door? It would help if you made time to eat something healthy to start their day. Sugary treats, even processed granola bars, can cause your blood sugar to be off.

Additionally, processed and sugary junk foods are not empowering your body to get through the day. Why not start with a healthy bowl of steel-cut oats with cinnamon and honey? If you want to kick your protein up another level, you can add some fresh pecans or walnuts.

When you eat a good breakfast, you’re giving your body the fuel to keep your energy levels up. Don’t skip this meal or be tempted to get a sweet treat on the way out the door, as it’s hard to keep a positive mindset when you feel terrible.

5. Get Some Exercise

The mornings don’t allow for much time to exercise, but you can significantly boost your body and mood if you move a bit. When you leave bed, why not try some stretches or run-in place?

According to the National Library of Medicine, exercise raises the serotonin levels in your brain. Additionally, it releases those feel-good hormones that put you in a positive mindset.

Exercise can combat increased levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. Spending thirty minutes would be good, but if you move and get your heart pumping for five minutes, you will notice a difference in how you feel.

6. Put Down the Cell Phone to Have a Positive Mindset

Do you reach for your cell phone the minute you open your eyes? The problem is that while you might need to check work messages and things of this nature, you’re also likely to be bombarded with news. Most phones have some sort of news and weather that scrolls either on the main screen or on social media.

These notifications can hinder your positivity, especially when you read of wars and rumors of wars. To keep your optimism where it needs to be for the day, you don’t want to ingest all this negativity from the start.

Find something else to do when you get up rather than reach for electronics. Why not kiss your partner good morning, tell your children how much you love them, or open the blinds and let the sun’s rays beam into your home?

7. Count Your Blessings to Increase Positivity

There’s an old gospel song by Jeff Easter called “Thank You Lord for Your Blessings on Me.” The song is about gratitude and states there’s a roof above me, an excellent place to sleep, food on the table, and shoes on your feet. This song was written by a 16-year-old kid who lived a life of poverty and committed a crime, landing in prison for nineteen years.

While there, he had a spiritual rebirth, which changed his entire life. He wrote this song to be thankful for all his blessings. He had no idea how the words of that song would impact people for generations to come. Gratitude sets you on the right path and allows you to open yourself to more blessings.

If you want to bring more positivity into your life, then start counting your blessings. When you wake up, take a minute, and thank God or your Higher Power for all you’ve been given. Try to list at least ten things you’re thankful to have every morning in this life.

An attitude of gratitude will help you forge through the day and keep your optimism high. If you have horrible days and your mood is not right, why not start by counting your blessings?

You can focus on others more than yourself with a new positive mindset. It’s easier to put things into perspective when you realize how blessed you are to have a job, a home, a vehicle to drive, and food in your cabinets. Many people would see these simple things as luxuries.

8. Read Inspirational Material

If you have five minutes to spare, it’s just enough time to change your mindset for the day. Why not read some uplifting memes or something from a motivational speaker? Empowering yourself for greatness can be as simple as embracing positivity in small ways.

9. Practice Self-Care for a More Positive Mindset

Everyone deserves to look their best because when you look good, you’re going to feel good. So many people throw their hair back and grab the first thing they see in their closet. What if you took the time to fix your hair to feel more confident?

Put on some cologne or perfume and make yourself look fabulous. It would help if you pampered yourself a bit, and taking a few minutes daily for yourself changes everything.

10. Give Yourself Plenty of Time

Many reasons why people struggle with positivity in the morning are because they’re running late. It’s impossible to keep your optimism where it needs to be when you’re in a mad dash to get to work. Why not get up ten to fifteen minutes earlier, so you do not need to rush?

When you have ample time to get things done, you’ll see a positive mindset is easier to achieve. The people working next to you and even driving in the lane next to you will appreciate your positivity, as road rage and a bad mood will affect others.

Final Thoughts on Positive Morning Habits

Did you see anything on the list that you can easily add to your morning routine? Are you ready to fuel your internal optimism and have better days? Sure, it will take a little work to get to a positive mindset, but you will find that it will become second nature after a while.

Your life is yours to choose how you live. You choose to be negative and down all the time, or you can choose to walk in the power of positivity. Which will it be?

11 Reasons Why Your Crush Stopped Texting

October 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

You meet a wonderful person, and you have high hopes for the future of this relationship. Sadly, your crush ghosted you just when things were going so well. No phone calls, no texting, no communication at all. What did you do wrong to warrant this treatment, and is this more of their problem than yours?

It’s only natural to wonder what’s wrong with you when your love interest stops texting. Still, you can’t jump to conclusions. Many things go through people’s minds when they feel something they don’t understand. Then, there’s always the past or another party that could be involved.

11 Reasons Why Your Crush Stopped Texting and How to Cope With It

Move on when someone ghosts you, as there is plenty of fish in the sea. However, if you have feelings and your crush blows you off, you might feel a little sad and ruminate about all the reasons why they did this to you. Here are a few reasons why you’re getting ghosted.

1. Your Crush Is Not Interested

This may be a case of unrequited love. Perhaps you’re feeling or reading more into the situation than your crush. You may envision a white picket fence, a dog, and a few children running around the backyard.

However, their mind may be a million miles from that place. The most common reason a potential lover stops texting is that they’re not that into you.

What to Do:

It’s best to come out and ask them if they’re not that interested. While it seems a bit forward, you’ll never know how they feel unless you ask. Additionally, you don’t want to waste more time on the wrong one when you can look for your soul mate.

2. They Stopped Texting Because They Found Another Person

While you’re a great catch, you’ve likely been ghosted for another. Your crush might have eyes for someone else. You can’t help who you fall in love with, nor can you blame them for falling for another person.

All is fair in love and war, and it’s possible that there was chemistry between them and someone else that they couldn’t deny. It doesn’t mean anything to you, as you’re undoubtedly remarkable. However, you want to be with someone who is 100 percent for you, and it seems this isn’t the case.

What to Do:

If you don’t hear back from this person in a week or two, it’s safe to say they’ve moved on. It would help if you did the same to keep yourself from getting hurt.

3. Your Crush Sent You Mixed Signals

Perhaps you read more into the situation than what was there. It’s possible that your crush didn’t feel the way you did about them. Maybe they were being friendly and chatting with you, but there were no real feelings. They might have ghosted you because they didn’t want to string you along anymore.

What to Do:

Reevaluate the situation and see if you might have read more into it than there was. You can also look at their social media pages to see if they’ve got something else going on in their life before you jump to conclusions. However, don’t stay where you’re not wanted, as you should move on.

4. They Are Not Texting Because They Are Honestly Too Busy

Unfortunately, most people have chaotic lives. There are work, friends, and family obligations, not to mention taking care of a home and bills. It’s possible they’ve just become overwhelmed with things in their life.

It might not be the right time for them until some things settle down. You certainly don’t want to be with the right person at the wrong time, as it might not go the way you like.

What to Do:

If someone has told you they’re super busy, you must respect them. It might not be a good time, and you should find someone with more time to devote to you.

5. You Came on Too Strong for Comfort

Some folks like to take things nice and slow when getting to know someone. However, it’s possible that you came on way too firm, and now they’re back peddling. Maybe your pace is faster than what they’re willing to go.

It doesn’t mean that they don’t like you; it just means they’re putting on the brakes on the situation. They’re not comfortable with the way or the speed at which things progress.

Another thing to consider is that previous relationships have hurt this person. According to Dr. Judith Wright from the Wright Foundation, every person has unfinished business that goes back to childhood. These matters often cause things like limiting attitudes and personal biases that make relationships challenging.

It doesn’t mean that this person won’t text you in the future, but right now, they have some unfinished emotional baggage that they need to unpack. Something about you or the situation may have triggered things they’ve yet to manage.

What to Do:

Listen, you don’t want to be with someone with tons of unpacked baggage, which is often hard to manage. Instead, respect their limitations and stand back a bit. If they come looking for you, you should have a serious conversation about your hesitations.

6. You Said Something Wrong to Your Crush But Didn’t Realize It

Your crush might have become offended at something you said. It’s challenging to go back through all your dialogues and try to decipher what you said that was so wrong. If something was stated wrong, you certainly didn’t mean to do it.

What to Do:

First, you don’t want to be with anyone who gets offended over such small things. If you think of something you said that was off-putting, you need to apologize. However, if you can’t think of anything you said out of line, let them go. You don’t want someone who is so touchy anyway.

7. Your Crush Just Wanted a One Night Stand

Sadly, some people want a one-night situation and aren’t looking for anything more. Your crush may see you as just a booty call and isn’t looking to walk down the aisle anytime soon. They may not want the same things from the situation you desire.

What to Do:

You don’t want the same thing. So you need to find someone who will love and appreciate you without being used.

8. They Don’t Want Anything Serious

It’s possible your crush isn’t looking for anything too serious, and you’re coming off as someone relationship ready. You can undoubtedly push someone away if you want two different things in life. You both need to be headed in the same direction, or one of you will get hurt.

What to Do: You can’t make someone serious in a relationship if they’re not ready or don’t want it. However, you know where you’re, so find someone looking for the same.

9. Your Crush Does Not Think You’re Interested

What if the other person is into you, but they think you’re not into them? It’s not uncommon for people to get their wires crossed regarding love and relationships. Maybe you’ve played it too cool, and now they don’t think you’re that into it.

What to Do:

If you have an opportunity, make your desires known. If you tell them you want to see what happens, you’re leaving no room for misinterpretation. Some folks need things spelled out a bit, so you need a conversation about where this is going.

10. You Text Way Too Much

Some folks are just more apt to text than others. It could be that this person is a bit old-fashioned, as they prefer phone calls or in-person visits. No matter how much they’re into you, some individuals don’t like to text 24×7. They have busy lives and work long hours, so they only text when they can.

What to Do:

If they tell you they don’t like to text, don’t get upset because they don’t text much. Try different methods of communication to see if it works better for them. The biggest issue here is that there needs to be active communication for any relationship to work.

11. They’re Playing Hard to Get

What if your crush likes playing hard to get? It’s undoubtedly enthralling to have someone chase after you, and they may desire to be pursued a bit. They might be totally into you, but they’re waiting on you to make the next move.

What to Do:

It’s okay to play the game of cat and mouse for a bit, but just don’t let it drag on for too long. Even the cat gets tired when they can’t catch the mouse, so they will move on to something else.

Final Thoughts on Being Ghosted by Your Crush

Dating and trying to find your soul mate is often one of the most challenging things in life. Finding your other half often means you must first discover yourself. When you add things like religion, social status, and your family to the mix, it makes it an even more daunting task.

However, while it’s not an easy journey, it’s certainly one that’s worth it. When your crush is not responding to you, and you feel like your heart may leap from your chest, it’s time to do some investigative work. There might be a simple explanation, but it might also signify that it’s time to move on.

6 Hidden Causes of Trauma

October 11, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Everyone has some damage in their life they must overcome, but have you ever considered all the causes of trauma? While some folks don’t want to go looking for hidden issues as they wish to keep emotional peace, the purpose is to uncover what’s behind your painful feelings so that you can heal.

You can’t fix a problem you can’t see, and you can’t heal from an issue you’ve yet to identify. While the trauma you’ve experienced is hidden and invisible to the world, the side effects it causes you are not so obscured. Regardless of what or who hurt you, you must know that there is help and hope for your future.

Understanding the Hidden Cause Trauma

Trauma is a response to an event that deeply disturbed you. It overwhelmed your emotional state and ability to cope, leaving you hopeless or helpless. It changed the way you think, as it altered your emotions.

You must understand that trauma is not an experience or event that happened to you, as much as it is the aftereffects. Two people can be involved in car accidents and be severely injured, yet one will develop a fear of being in the car and have anxiety just thinking about it. The other one will have no qualms about jumping in an automobile because they realize it was a mere accident. A reliable San Francisco Car Accident Lawyer can help navigate the legal complexities, ensuring you receive the support needed to address both physical recovery and emotional trauma effectively. Severely damaged cars can still be sold to Car’s Cash For Junk Clunkers at 2550 Catamaran Way, Chula Vista, CA 91914 (619) 489-2207 and get cash for cars.

Though both people went through the same thing, their responses were different. The University of Colorado’s Lyda Hill Institute for Human Resilience defines trauma as a muddled mental or behavioral condition resulting from psychological or emotional damage or bodily harm. It’s something that happens deep in your soul that leaves a mark.

Since so many traumas hide beneath the surface, their pain or effects occasionally seep into the forefront of life. For instance, you may watch a sad movie that triggers a memory. It makes you cry because your emotional state isn’t the best.

Trauma is very personal, and keeping it hidden creates a big problem. It will not disappear on its own, and when it’s ignored, it still screams silently inside. Your healing can begin when you hear these screams and pay attention to the causes of trauma and the pain it brings.

Identifying Six Hidden Causes of Trauma in Your Life

Uncovering the hidden causes of trauma in your life is the best place to begin. Here are six types that psychologists identify commonly.

1. Childhood Neglect (the most frequent causes of trauma)

Childhood neglect is a prevalent issue that leaves scars on the heart. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, an estimated 550,000 cases are reported each year. Sadly, four children will die each day in the United States of America due to neglect.

This one is different from the other trauma causes, as it occurs because something didn’t happen. For instance, a child is emotionally or physically neglected because their parent doesn’t attend to their needs. Each kid is unique and has specific requirements.

When the parent doesn’t respond in a way that satisfies these needs, it creates neglect. Sometimes the adult doesn’t see what’s happening to the child, especially if they have many children. However, the child fell through the cracks. In many instances, neglect comes with abuse.

When a child doesn’t have their needs fulfilled, it leaves a hole in their memory, and they can’t recall certain events. It’s challenging to heal from something that you can’t even remember.

2. Repressive Wound

Some people can be authoritative and firm but still kind, but others are overbearing bullies. One of the causes of trauma can be someone you loved who bullies you. This can happen on the job, at home, or in a relationship.

3. Unhealed Core Wounds

While all causes of trauma can be hard to handle, this one can be tough. No matter how often a person addresses the issues of trauma in their life, the root remains.

An unhealed core is where someone doesn’t know what happened to them. They may have blocked out events to protect themselves, so they must do some soul searching and find out what happened so that they can heal from it.

4. Dismissive

Dismissive trauma is a condition where a person won’t acknowledge or validate what happened to them. There are many reasons this might occur, such as fear of repercussions if they confront the person, place, or thing or don’t want to appear weak to others.

The trauma has been with them for so long that they start to perceive it as a regular part of their life, as it’s all they’ve ever known. Someone might have told them to suck it up and get over it, so it was dismissed as unimportant.

If anyone in their life has invalidated the things they’ve been through, it can cause them to bury the pain deep within and not address it. When considering the kinds of trauma, dismissal is one of the ones that many people fight.

5. Generational Causes of Trauma

Generational causes of trauma are hidden but real. These feelings pass down from one generation to another. It’s divided into two categories, transgenerational and intergenerational. For instance, a man whose father beat him as a punishment might think this is an acceptable way to punish a child.

Although, the punishment leaves marks on the body and soul. Therefore, abused people often go on to be abusive to their children. It’s also why many children raised by alcoholics develop substance abuse disorders.

6. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD

According to the National Library of Medicine, post-traumatic stress disorder is when a person encounters a disturbing, scary, or even dangerous experience. Everyone will experience the fight or flight feelings at some point in life, but the person who develops PTSD can’t stop relieving this event when triggered.

The discovery of this anxiety disorder heightened after WWII when people came home “shell-shocked” and altered from the disturbing things they observed. PTSD is very stigmatized and often misunderstood. Ironically, the article states that women suffer more from this condition than men, which was believed to be the other way around.

The issue is that women internalize stuff, whereas men are freer to get things off their chest. Internalizing trauma and not allowing those feelings to be processed can cause many issues.

Side Effects from Emotional Damage

The causes of trauma can cause many things to occur in your body. It alters your emotional state and the feelings you have towards everyday things. Here are some of the most common side effects that psychologists observe:

Trouble maintaining healthy relationships
Substance abuse tendencies
Anxiety disorders with intrusive thoughts
Depression and chronic despair
Eating disorders
Compulsive issues
Borderline or other personality disorders

Seven Habits to Heal Your Inner Wounds

Now that you’ve identified the causes of trauma and what you’re dealing with inside, it’s time to start the healing process. Here are a few ways to begin this journey towards a better you.

1. Accept Help and Support

You must reach out to others for help. This can include a counselor, trusted mentor, family member, or friend. The more you talk about it, the less power it has over you.

2. Attend a Support Group to Discuss the Causes of Trauma in a Safe Place

Finding a support group can help you uncover and process your feelings, whether online or in person. There’s power in numbers, and it helps to hear others talk about going through the same things.

3. Exercise and Physical Movement

Your mental and physical health will improve when you move more. Exercise releases those feel-good hormones you need to deal with such challenges.

4. Work With Your Feelings

Please don’t bury your feelings and hope that your emotional state will improve on its own. You must be proactive. Try journaling, meditation, yoga, and other forms that help to cleanse the mind, body, and spirit.

5. Practice Mindfulness Regarding Your Feelings

Learn to live in the moment. Stop looking behind you and missing out on the beautiful things around you.

6. Engage in Some Creative Thinking

It’s time to get your creative juices pumping. Some of the greatest songwriters started by putting their heart and soul down on paper and sharing it with the world.

7. Practice Self-Care

Treat yourself like the king or queen that you are in this life. If you’re tired, take a nap. Treat yourself to “me time,” where you pamper yourself and care for your needs. Your feelings and emotions will improve when you learn to engage in self-care.

Final Thoughts on Identifying Possible Causes of Trauma and Learning to Resolve the Feelings

Regardless of who or what hurt you, it’s time to start the healing process. The longer you leave these feelings and emotions deep inside unhandled, the longer they will continue to haunt you. Once you uncover your causes of trauma, the real work begins.

It’s time to begin the next chapter of your life by putting down the baggage that you’ve exhausted yourself by carrying. No, what happened to you wasn’t right, but you don’t have to keep bringing this with you for the rest of your life. Today is a good day to start the healing journey.

10 Ways to Set Proactive Boundaries Before Someone Hurts You

October 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

Why is it crucial to be proactive when establishing personal and professional boundaries? The celebrated poet Robert Frost once observed that good fences make good neighbors. The sooner other people see your fence line, the better.

What are the Five Types of Boundaries?

Your parents taught and enforced basic guidelines to protect you. As you got older, you added some of your own according to your preferences. These are the five basic categories of personal perimeters.

1. Physical

Imagine that you are encased in an invisible bubble. The size of everyone’s bubble varies according to their comfort zone. It represents your body, personal space, and privacy.

2. Intimacy

These are your standards for the intimate touch and conversations you expect or find uncomfortable. When you say “no,” or “enough,” you mean what you say, and there should be no questions.

3. Emotional

Some people are reserved and aren’t comfortable with self-disclosure. Maybe you’ll only share your feelings with your partner and the people in your circle, or you may gradually take your time and reveal your inner emotions.

4. Intellectual

It takes trust and confidence for you to share your deepest thoughts and ideas with another person. If someone ignores you and acts like your thoughts are trivial and foolish, they’re not respecting your intellectual guidelines.

5. Financial

Here’s a standard that can get tricky when it involves family and close friends. Your money is your business, and you have the right to manage it as you choose. While you are generous, one of your standards may be that you rarely, if ever, loan money.

People who respect your relationship rules won’t even ask. They understand that these are the guidelines you’ve established. Those who insist on loans or are nosey about your finances have no regard for you or the relationship.

10 Ways to Be Proactive with Your Boundaries

Do you want to save time and frustration in personal and professional relationships? Let them know where you stand first, and there’ll be less confusion. Here are twelve ways to help you get on the right path.

1. Set Your Boundaries Early in the Relationship

Being proactive with your boundaries can help you minimize any misunderstandings from the start. Of course, you don’t want to spout off a bunch of rules and regulations the moment you meet a potential love interest. However, establishing your perimeters early is essential if it progresses into a relationship.

Misunderstandings and hurt feelings will be less likely, and you’ll know where you stand. People respect you more in personal or professional relationships when you have standards. Please don’t wait until someone crosses a line before you draw it.

2. Begin with Smaller Ones

It’s easy to become overwhelmed when you start with a hefty list of dos and don’ts. You may find it less stressful if you start with smaller boundaries, especially if you don’t have many in place.

You can still be proactive and go at your own pace. Eventually, you keep perimeters that work and discard ones that don’t suit you. These standards will probably evolve as your relationship does.

3. Reflect on How Your Boundaries Benefit You

The whole idea of having boundaries is to protect your heart and dignity. Once you’ve established some basic rules, you have time to reflect on them. You know what and who, but you must also know the whys.

Have toxic or traumatic experiences in the past negatively affected your perimeters? Perhaps you’ve drawn your circle so small that nobody can fit into your life anymore. If your standards aren’t benefiting you, it’s time to discover why they aren’t working.

4. Be Consistent

The only way to be genuine and transparent in any relationship is to be consistent. If you establish a set of rules for one day, they should be the same daily.

For example, you’ve been proactive and clarified that you don’t want to move in together for a while. You may give mixed signals if you begin rearranging your significant other’s furniture. Make sure you’re transparent with them; never say one thing and do another.

5. Don’t Allow Social Media to Blur Them

Until the start of the internet, couples chatted on landline phones when they weren’t meeting face-to-face. They also sent greeting cards and love letters by post when their lover was away. Now, relationships can develop quickly with smartphones and other electronic devices.

Couples can instantly message their lover throughout the day. While social media can be an exceptional communication tool, it has its downfalls.

You don’t want personal information and every photo splashed over the Internet. Social media can often blur your parameters unless you take a stand. Be proactive and let your partner know if anything crosses the line, digital or not.

6. Be Comfortable with Saying “No” While Setting Boundaries

According to an article published by the Greater Good Science Center, being a chronic people-pleaser doesn’t benefit you. Helping others isn’t the same as trying to please them. While you’re trying to satisfy everyone, you’re neglecting your own needs and wants.

The easiest way to stop trying to please people is a polite but firm “no.” There will always be worthy causes and individuals who need a hand. How often have you been hit with a request to do something because nobody else will do it?

If folks see you as a pushover, you’ll forever be asked to chair committees, contribute money, and babysit for free. Do yourself a favor and be judicious with your time, money, and resources. Stop permitting people to walk all over you; you must learn to say “no.”

When you set limitations on what you will and won’t do, you’ll be free to be involved in projects you genuinely enjoy. You want to be compassionate and help your friends and family in need. Remember that you are an occasional helping hand, not a permanent crutch.

7. Gain a Healthy Perspective

Your perimeters are meant as guidelines and not chains. Don’t be so dogmatic with them that you can’t breathe. Building too many walls may keep you safer, but they inevitably make you a self-imposed prisoner.

It’s easy to overthink your safety zone when you’ve been in an abusive or toxic situation. You may be hypervigilant and suspicious of everyone who crosses your path. How can you revise your standards while keeping your safety and dignity intact?

An article published by Harvard Medical School explains that concentration meditation can help you gain focus and clarity. Journaling is also a beneficial tool for discovering new perspectives. Many people also find that therapy can help them review and sort their boundaries.

8. Maintain Open Communication

How can anybody know your perimeters unless you tell them? Mind reading may be a fun carnival trick, but it doesn’t work in real life. If you want people to respect you, let them know how you expect to be treated.

Be proactive and discuss your boundaries in a personal or professional relationship. Effective communication is especially crucial with your mate. Share frequent and meaningful conversations about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Since communication is a two-way street, each side speaks and listens. You don’t want to just “hear” each other. Active listening takes time to consider what’s being said and empathize with the speaker’s emotions. Don’t forget to ask for clarifications to lessen the chances of a misunderstanding.

9. Add to Your Basic List as Needed

Relationships mature just like people, and your perimeters may need to widen. You may not have foreseen some situations or see things differently. Either way, you can clarify them or revise them as needed.

The same can be said of your professional relationship with co-workers. There are probably set guidelines that everyone follows out of respect for each other. However, you can add different perimeters to maintain your comfort and self-esteem.

10. Respect Other People’s Boundaries

You can’t expect other people to respect your wishes if you don’t respect theirs. When you do, you prove that you’re a respectful and trustworthy person. It can strengthen your relationships at home, work, and public.

The best way to provide mutual respect is to listen to each other. You accept each other as you are without pushing for changes. Everyone is an individual, and you respect their right to autonomy. Instead of pointing out everyone’s flaws, work on your shortcomings.

Final Thoughts on Being Proactive with Your Boundaries

You are responsible for creating and enforcing your standards. While compromise is part of any healthy relationship, nobody should ask you to give in to these things. Be your advocate, teach people how you want to be treated, and show them the same courtesy.

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And When You Should)

October 11, 2022 by Power of Positivity

Conventional wisdom says it’s vital that you stand up for yourself. You may feel you’re not a strong person. How can you be assertive when you need to? Here are ten ways to stand up for yourself when you should.

What’s the difference between assertive and aggressive?

These two words get confused, but there’s a big difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Here’s a brief breakdown of both terms.

Aggressive: Disrespectful, angry, pushy, “You” statements, attack mode to get something
Assertive: Respect, but firm, open conversation, open but stand your ground, “I” statements.

When you stand up for yourself, you must be assertive rather than aggressive. You may know people who act aggressively at work or school. Here are some signs you’ve moved from assertiveness to aggressiveness. Aggressive people engage in these behaviors:

Bully
Exclude others
Gossip
Purposely ignore people
Can’t calm down
Hit
Yell
Threaten

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And How to Know When You Should)

When you stand up for yourself and find you’re getting aggressive, be sure to reach out for help. It could show you are suffering from psychological issues from some past trauma.

1 – Be clear about what you want

People aren’t mind-readers. It would help if you said what you need or want. Speaking up for yourself means you use your voice so others can understand you. Say precisely what you want, don’t dance around the issue. Use “I” statements instead of “You” words because they sound aggressive. Examples of “I” statements include:

I think
I feel
I’d like
I prefer
I would prefer

It may take some getting used to, but as you learn to express yourself clearly and honestly, you find people respond to you better. They know you’re an honest, authentic person. They also know you won’t let them take advantage of you.

2 – Stand up for yourself by correcting someone when needed

If you need to bring up a matter with someone, arrange a time to talk to them privately. This allows you to prepare what you want to say. You can respectfully package your message rather than blurting out what you want to say on the spur of the moment. It’s uncomfortable to correct people, but it’s often necessary. Here are some suggestions for speaking up and fixing others when needed.

Honestly, point out something they’re doing well.
Take an indirect approach using the word “and” to start the conversation about a criticism.
Share your own mistakes in this area, but don’t turn the conversation on to you. It’s about what they did. You don’t need to apologize for correcting them. Admitting your own mistakes emphasizes you know you’re not perfect.
Ask them questions. Direct the questions, so they admit their own mistakes. This is always better than you giving them a direct order, which may come across as aggressive.
Be aware of their feelings. Let them save face in this situation by showing them you value them. Make sure they don’t feel punished, but you advise them on changing their behavior.
When you see improvement, be sure to praise them. Even a slight movement towards what you advised is significant.

3 – Avoid being self-righteous

If you’re in a situation where you don’t speak up, you may end up sitting on your feelings. Think of a situation where someone doesn’t keep their end of a bargain, so you jump in and do it. All the while, you’re making sarcastic remarks about how you knew they wouldn’t do it. This passive-aggressive attitude never works. Even though you’re right, it’s self-righteous to use sarcasm to belittle the person. There’s a good chance you’ve done something similar in your life. Try to be deliberate and tell the person how you feel about what happened. Don’t accuse, but share honestly.

4 – Say no

Sometimes you need to stand up for your time by saying “no.” It’s easy to get pulled into commitments. If you say yes a lot, you’ll get a reputation as the person who will do everything. You’re always expected to bring the snacks for your kid’s class when the teacher doesn’t ask other parents. This request is a sure sign you need to speak up for your time. The next time they ask for something, you can say one of these:

Let me think about it and get back to you.
I need to check my calendar. Then I’ll let you know
No, I’m busy that day.
Sorry, but I have too much going on then.

Don’t apologize for saying no or feel obligated. Contribute where you need to, but otherwise, say no when you need to.

5 – Practice confident words before it’s time to stand up for yourself

Researchers say that being confident takes preparation. Standing up for yourself takes practice. You won’t learn to be a strong person overnight. Over time, you’ll grow in self-confidence and assertiveness. Even when you’re not confident, it’s okay to pretend. Practice certain situations at home in front of your mirror to gain more confidence. Work on being relaxed and comfortable speaking up for yourself. Don’t focus on your feelings, but think about what you need to say.

6 – Body language

Pay attention to your body language when you’re standing up for yourself. Practice doing these things

Lean forward: When you’re talking to people, lean in and focus on them.
Don’t slouch: Stand tall in a relaxed way.
Be relaxed and attentive: Don’t look bored or as if you’re ready to walk away. Stop and give the person your full attention.
Put your hands in your pocket: This conveys that you’re relaxed and confident.
Smile normally: Don’t smile too big but in a friendly way.

7 – Learn when to speak up

As assertiveness grows, you’ll learn to pick your battles with people. Sometimes it’s not worth it to stand up for yourself. Someone may say something, but you realize it was a rare moment and not worth mentioning. Part of learning how to stand up for yourself is knowing when to speak up and be quiet. This discernment means you learn how to read people and understand how to handle different situations.

8 – Don’t apologize when you must stand up for yourself

If you need to ask your roommate to help you clean up the house, speak straightforwardly, saying something like,

I need help cleaning up the house, but I can’t do it alone. Would you please clean the living room while I clean the kitchen?

Don’t apologize. Be clear and specific. Stand up for yourself respectfully but firmly. Of course, there’s no guarantee your roommate will agree. If this is the case, you may need to consider getting a new roommate who will share the responsibilities of the apartment.

9 – Set boundaries

Setting boundaries helps you stand up for yourself and helps others understand how to treat you. Boundaries display self-respect. This could mean asking your boss to please ask you before putting extra work on your desk. Or it could mean telling your co-worker you don’t like the nickname they call you. Be respectful and relaxed but firm. Standing up for yourself doesn’t need to be a dramatic event, but a simple,

Hey, you’re a funny person, but I’m not too fond of that nickname. Please don’t call me that anymore.

This simple but clear message will help your co-worker know how to treat you. Your boss will realize they should communicate with you before putting extra work on your desk. Once you set boundaries, if people continue to do these things, you may need to speak up for yourself again to reiterate your expectations.

10 – You can stand up for yourself by walking away

When you speak up for yourself, not everyone will like it. There will be people who get angry and attack you. They may try to manipulate you or push you to do something you refuse. They may guilt you or even bully you. Please don’t get upset by them. Stay calm and don’t react to their anger. Please don’t give in to their bullying, but stand your ground. If they’re pressing you, say something like,

You know, I will not change my mind on this. Let’s end this conversation.

If the person continues, walk away. Collect your thoughts and schedule a meeting with them. Invite another person to join you, so you’re not alone with the person who attacked you.

Final thoughts on knowing how and when to stand up for yourself

Standing up for yourself takes practice, but you can learn to speak up respectfully but firmly to people. Expressing what you need clearly and humbly helps people better understand you. Learning to say no instead of accepting everything you’re asked to do is another simple way to stand up for yourself. Each of these simple practices will help you learn how to help yourself and how to help the people around you.

20 Small Habits to Help You Reach Big Goals

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Why is it that old habits die hard? Inevitably, people resist change, even if they establish big goals for themselves. Try getting up at 5 am after your body has become accustomed to an 8 am wakeup, and you will find It would be easier to wake a sleeping bear from hibernation.

You’re a creature of habit, and adopting a new routine can be exhausting. Thankfully, you have the power within yourself to make such changes, but you must be willing to put in a little work. The issue is that many people become so overwhelmed by the big picture that they don’t see that it all starts with a tiny step.

Twenty Small Habits That Can Help You Make Big Changes

There is a compounding effect that small habits can make on your big goals. Since society has programmed your mind to have instant gratification, hacks, and quick fixes, it will take some real work. However, if society had an accurate view of things, everyone would be physically fit, wealthy, and happy.

The bad habits you’ve learned might not influence you right now, but they can significantly impact your future. Think of it this way; that double cheeseburger and French fries taste way better than a salad for dinner, but the long-term rewards outweigh the instant pleasure. Here are some small habits that can help you reach your big goals.

1. Say Daily Affirmations to Motivate You to Reach Those Big Goals

Any goals you set for yourself will be met with negativity and plenty of resistance. However, you can start your day by quoting daily affirmations. The National Library of Medicine published a study where affirmations were used to help folks stop smoking.

After a six-week trial, 97.5 percent of those who regularly did their daily affirmations had stopped smoking. It proves that you can rewire your brain with a bit of work and some determination.

2. Keep Your Environment Clean

Being productive and living or working in a chaotic environment is impossible. Not only is the chaos distracting, but it can also be very stressful to navigate. Remember the old motto that everything has a place and should be in its place.

Take a few minutes to clean up each day, and you will see it significantly impacts your productivity.

3. Track Your Costs

Do you throw caution to the wind and spend frivolously? If your goals have financial backing, you must be accountable for every penny. Writing down how much you spend and what you’re spending it on can help you in all areas of life.

Thankfully, many computer applications will do this for you, which makes the job much easier.

4. Take the Farthest Parking Spot (You can’t reach those big goals in poor health!)

If your goal is to lose weight, you’re not going to lose an ounce until you change your habits. Weight loss is one of the big goals, but parking in the furthest parking spots will get you moving more. Incorporating simple stuff like this can have a significant impact.

5. Plan Your Days

It’s hard to know what will happen daily, but you must schedule the allotted time to achieve your goals. Scheduling helps you prioritize things and make sure you’re making progress.

6. Go Outside to Boost Your Mood and Reflect on the Big Goals

It would help if you had the power of the sunshine to help boost your mood. The sun also provides an ample dose of Vitamin D, which your body needs. Don’t stay cooped up behind four walls all day. You can enhance your overall outlook by spending time in nature.

7. Create a Bedtime Routine

How do you expect to be productive the next day if you’re not getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night? Your body needs sleep to repair damage caused by free radicals during the day. Make sleep a top priority to reach any goals you’ve set.

8. Unsubscribe to Junk Emails

If you’re like most people, your inbox is overloaded with junk mail. It can be very daunting to wake up to hundreds of emails that have no importance. Take a few minutes and go through and block all the spam, as it will make you feel much better with fewer emails to filter.

9. Complete Your Hardest Task First

Most people procrastinate and leave the most challenging things for last. However, getting the most daunting tasks off your plate first gives you momentum to easily conquer the rest of the day.

10. Downsize Big Goals Into Smaller Bits

Remember English class when you were given a huge book to read? If you looked at the 1,000 pages, it might be terrifying to attempt this feat. However, if you divide the pages by the thirty-day goal, you only need to read 33 pages a day.

Stop looking at the big picture and becoming so overwhelmed by it that you’re frozen. Break it down into smaller, even daily bits, and you can accomplish any big goals you set for yourself.

11. Outsource Whenever Possible

Look at the successful men and women running significant corporations daily. These are busy people, and do you think they do everything themselves? Of course not! These folks have learned how to delegate to others.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed; remember that you can’t do everything yourself. If you want to reach your goals, you need a strong team behind you, helping you do the work and rooting for you.

12. Meditate Each Day

Meditation helps you to alleviate stress as well as improve your overall focus. It’s also shown to reduce tension in the body that can significantly impact your health.

Did you know that meditation can also help fight memory loss at an older age? According to studies conducted by UC Davis Health, meditation is the key to keeping dementia at bay.

13. Reward Yourself for Small Milestones Along the Path to the Big Goals

If you want to reach the big things, then you must learn to celebrate the small victories. Taking a moment to recognize your efforts will give you the momentum you need to keep going. Many people don’t follow through with goals because they burn out, they have too many to focus on just one, or they doubt their abilities.

15. Sit up Straight

It sounds silly to say that you need to sit straight to reach your goals, but is that ridiculous? Your posture has a significant bearing on your overall wellness. You reduce muscle pain from overuse disorders and improve your drive by improving your posture.

How much better do you feel when you’re sitting up nice and tall rather than slouching and feeling miserable?

16. Return Any Missed Calls and Texts

Proper communication is vital when you’re working on goals. It’s respectful to the party who contacted you to respond and shows good business skills. Even when you don’t have a moment to spare, take the time to reach out to people who need to reach you.

17. Get Rid of Something

Remember what was said above about a clean space? Well, try donating or getting rid of something each day. It can be a small item, but you will feel great pairing down and decluttering your world.

Plus, taking inventory of what you have and getting rid of things will help you think twice before making purchases you don’t need.

18. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is hard, especially when trying to do many things simultaneously. Have you ever talked to your spouse, and they appeared to be listening, but they didn’t know what you were saying to them? This happens when people zone out and aren’t actively listening to what you’re saying.

In all conversations, put down the phone, turn off the music, and genuinely listen to the other person. It’s essential in the business world as well as your personal one.

19. Do Random Acts of Kindness

Spreading joy never hurt anyone? Plus, you feel better when you’re giving back and helping others. To reach big goals, you need to start by reducing the negativity in the world to allow positivity to flow through.

20. Dress for Success, as if You Already Reached Your Big Goals

Who knew your clothes could significantly impact your success? Don’t dress for the position you want; rather, you should dress for the position you desire. When folks perceive you as management material, it can help you achieve these goals. Dressing for success will also help improve your self-confidence too.

Final Thoughts on Small Habits Helping You To Reach Big Goals

Your life reflects the choices you have made. If you want to alter something, then you must start with your everyday decisions. To reach your big goals, alter your choices, stop making excuses, and replicating small mistakes.

By incorporating some of these habits listed above, you can make your future brighter than you ever imagined.

8 Great Ways to Start a Conversation

October 10, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Meeting new people can be intimidating, especially when no one’s there to introduce you. Finding the right words to start a conversation on the right foot is pretty tough. And trying to hold a meaningful or at least exciting conversation after that is even harder!

The key to initiating and maintaining a conversation is a strong beginning from which others can build. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Sometimes you’re just standing there, mind reeling and blank, desperately trying to come up with something! If you tend to be nervous in social situations

There’s no shame in memorizing a few openers that can lead to excellent conversation. Many people have go-to lines that they’ve found work best for them. A good opening subject will allow people to share their thoughts openly, possibly leading to deeper topics.

There are plenty of reasons you might need a good discussion opener. Maybe you’re trying to make new friends, fit in better at a social group, or get acclimated to a new work environment. Perhaps you’re even trying to start a conversation with strangers or engage more with those around you daily. Maybe you spend a lot of time meeting new people and want to network with them well. No matter the reason, here are eight great ways to start a conversation.

1. Start A Conversation By Talking About The Weather

Are you rolling your eyes at this suggestion? You shouldn’t be! There’s a reason this is one of the most common openers. It’s one of the most trusted great ways to start a conversation.

Sure, it sounds a little shallow and is a small talk opener. But studies have shown that people prefer innocuous openings when strangers have conversations with them. This is especially true for people approaching with romantic intentions, but it applies to everyone.

Small talk subjects aren’t deep, but they’re safe. They’re an innocent, simple, quickly relatable way to initiate conversation in a non-threatening way. Going the safe route can sometimes be a good option when trying to start talking to a stranger! Add extra detail for the other person to latch onto to make things more interesting.

For example, you can say:

“I love this cloudy weather we’re having. It makes gardening much more comfortable!”
“It’s a hot day. Do you know where I can get some water?”
“It seems quite gloomy today, but I’ve heard forecasts say it’ll be much brighter tomorrow.”

2. Ask For Assistance to Start A Conversation

Asking questions is always an excellent way to start a conversation. Combine that with asking someone for help, and you’ve got a real winner! People love to be helpful, and your request will allow them to engage with you more closely. It’ll also likely lead to other discussions. You can ask questions like:

“Do you know what time the bus gets here?”
“Have you seen a keychain around here? I seem to have lost mine!”
“Would you happen to know if there will be refreshments served after this?”
“Could I please borrow your pen for a minute?”

The trick is to ask for something relatively simple. You don’t want to ask for complicated assistance that will take too much effort. This ensures the person will be able to provide that aid and still continue the conversation.

Interestingly, a mutual social understanding comes from accepting help from someone. They’ve given you support, and now you thank them and take the first step in introducing yourself. This will provide you with the chance to ask additional opening questions naturally. That’s why this is one of the best great ways to start a conversation!

3. Ask Someone To Tell You About Themselves To Break The Ice

It’s OK to have a little small talk now and then. But you should go deeper than that for great ways to start a conversation. Studies show that people are happier when they get to have more meaningful and personal conversations.

The simple phrase “tell me about yourself” is an excellent, open-ended start to an amazing conversation. It also gives the other person additional comfort, letting them determine what they share. Conversation can flow and evolve naturally from here.

4. Give A Compliment To Start A Good Conversation

Compliments are great ways to start a conversation. A sincere word of praise can go a long way. It can make people open up to talking to you. Sure, you’re buttering them up, but who doesn’t like feeling nice about themselves? Please mention that you were impressed by their performance or the capability they showcased to break the ice.

It’s worth noting that compliments can be a little bit tricky. You don’t want to come across as unintentionally flirtatious, for example. As such, avoid compliments that are based on someone’s physical appearance. These can make people uncomfortable. Alternatively, if you offer an appearance-based bit of praise, you can mention your partner to clarify your proper intent.

5. Comment On Something Positively To Start A Conversation

Most great ways to start a conversation involve the use of positivity. That’s because positivity begets more of itself! For example, you can say:

“This food is delicious, don’t you think?”
“I love this weather that we’re having!”
“Your performance was amazing. I’d love to hear how you prepared!”
“Did you go to that workshop? It was great!”

When you start a conversation based on something positive, you present yourself as pleasant. People will want to talk to you because you radiate friendly energy. You’ll encourage them to join in and feel much more at ease. You’ll increase your chances of a pleasant, long conversation.

Sometimes, making complaints or saying something negative can work as a conversation starter. That’s especially true in difficult situations that you’re sharing with someone. But opt for positivity over negativity if you want to ensure a healthy, happy discussion.

6. Say Something Funny For A Lighter Discussion

One of the great ways to start a conversation is through humor! Experts have pointed out how humor lightens the atmosphere, relieves tension, and helps stress levels.

If you can use humor to start a conversation, you’ll ease some of the existing awkwardness. Laughter makes people comfortable, and that’s always promising when initiating discussion. On top of that, you’ll get to show your fun side! You can do this in the following ways:

· Tell A Joke

Whether it’s an extended joke you’ve memorized or a simple one-liner, jokes are the go-to way to be funny. Try to steer clear of more risque or “dark humor” jokes about sensitive topics! Most people aren’t comfortable hearing those kinds of jokes from total strangers.

· Tell A Funny Story

A funny story allows you to talk about something more personal than general small talk. You’d be surprised how much people can connect over stories! Just try and keep the story relatively short so you can allow the other person to tell their own story, too. It’s a beautiful way to bond.

· Make Light Of A Shared Situation

If you’re in a weird situation with strangers, you can initiate a conversation by making a joke about that shared event. Shared concerns tend to bring people naturally closer together, breaking down typical barriers. Use that to your advantage, and good humor will do the rest!

7. Ask For An Opinion

Asking someone for an opinion indicates that you value and respect what they say. Lots of people enjoy feeling that their thoughts matter! It allows you to connect with them with a foundation of mutual respect.

Opting for relevant topics when asking for opinions is a good idea. Sudden, out-of-the-blue questions can be jarring, and you don’t know if that person knows much about random topics! Stick to things that are relatable and workable. Here are some examples of things you can say.

“How do you like the food at that new cafe?”
“Is that (brand) lotion? Does it work well?”
“I was thinking of going to that class! How did you find it?”
“What did you think of that movie?”
“Which of these books do you most recommend?”

It’s also a good idea to continually ask a discussion partner for their opinion after you state yours. This keeps the conversation flowing and can create some great moments and insights.

8. Mention A Shared Experience To Start A Conversation

One of the quickest great ways to start a conversation is by bringing up something that already links you. A shared experience can give you a lot to talk about all at once and create a connection off of something solid. It gives you a common ground to build from.

Try to use the current situation to determine some easy-to-spot common ground. That will further help the flow of a conversation. Examples of topics that might be relevant are:

The place where you grew up
School you attended
The place where you work
Mutual acquaintance
Hobbies or interests

Final Thoughts On Some Great Ways To Start A Conversation

Conversations are the building block for facilitating bonds, creating connections, and building relationships. It can be a little nerve-wracking to try and initiate these dialogues, but the payoff tends to be pretty rewarding. Better yet, it’s not as hard to do as many make it out to be!

It’s incredible how much can blossom from an innocuous and positively phrased statement. Something as simple as commenting on the weather or requesting help can lead to so much more. Knowing some great ways to start a conversation will ensure that you can hold your own in any social environment.

Still nervous about initiating conversation? Studies have indicated that people like you more than you think. Most people worry about what their conversation partner thinks of them more than they make their judgments. This interesting phenomenon is called the “liking gap,” which applies to virtually every situation.

Don’t fret too much about what someone thinks of you! Most of those you meet will be happy to start a conversation. Many of them are trying to find a way to do that, too. They might be as anxious as you about it! You bridge gaps and make new acquaintances by taking the first step with a good conversation starter. Try it out and see for yourself!

Unique Artist Creates Works of Art From Hand-Lettered Quotes

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Macarena Chomik, a hand-lettering artist and illustrator from Argentina, creates unique works of art using hand-lettered quotes. She incorporates positive, motivational quotes and adorable floral backgrounds into her artwork. Here’s her story about how she got started and what inspires her beautiful creations.

“I began my creative journey about four and a half years ago when, by chance, I stumbled across this article that said: ‘Learn calligraphy in five simple steps.’ Well, let’s just say I followed the steps, I loved the result, and a couple months later, I created my Instagram account due to a friend’s suggestion, and well, here I am,” Macarena says.

She now has over 40k followers on Instagram and even sells art prints, stickers, and calendars on Etsy! Macarena also offers a digital planner featuring her hand-lettered quotes and floral printed artwork. While it’s nice to earn money doing what she loves, Macarena says it’s a creative outlet, more importantly.

“I now create art in order to relax. It is my hobby, and there’s nothing I love to do more. I have to admit though, that it’s not as relaxing when it turns into work, but it is still incredibly rewarding.”

Much of her artwork features nature themes, including flowers, animals, beaches, and outer space. For example, one of her pieces shows someone fishing on a boat in the ocean. Under the water, you see jellyfish, turtles, coral, fish, and whales. The hand-lettered quote says: “Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true destination.”

Another adorable work of art features an alien spaceship, astronaut, rocket, and planets. The quote in the middle says, “Shine like the stars.” Macarena also enjoys forest-themed hand-lettered quote pieces. She created a whimsical forest that reminds us of Alice in Wonderland. It’s complete with mushrooms lining a pathway through the forest, songbirds, trees, and a girl having a picnic with a rabbit. In fact, you can tell she puts a lot of hard work into these masterpieces!

How she creates the works of art from hand-lettered quotes

First, like any artist, she sketches a general idea of what she wants the end product to look like. After having the background, hand-lettered quote, and the other details in mind, she creates the final piece. Then using watercolors, colored pencils, chalk markers, brush pens, and other supplies in her arsenal, she colors in the picture with vivid detail.

Finally, she adds shading, shadowing, and color to the quote to make it stand out. Some of her calligraphy is 3D, making it look like it pops right off the page! Macarena also uses an app called Procreate to design digital illustrations. She’s currently in school for graphic design to take her hobby to the next level.

She’s genuinely talented and pays excellent attention to detail with her artwork. You can see her progression over the years on her social media; it’s incredible how far she’s come! It just proves that following your passion can take you to places you never imagined. For an 18-year-old, she’s accomplished quite a lot in life so far.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Macarena Chomik (@mletteringlover)

Recently, she partnered with a wallpaper company to help with a design! She had this to say about the project:

“Working on this project was definitely challenging but also kind of a dream come true! Never before had I designed something of such dimensions, and to be able to see these designs come to life and actually be part of someone’s room is just unbelievable! Thank you Loomwell for giving me this opportunity!”

We’re excited to see where her dreams take her next! If you’d like to learn how to create your own art with hand-lettered quotes, she teaches a course on Skillshare. The online learning platform offers thousands of courses to learn everything from graphic design to photography to animation and more.

Macarena combines art with positivity to make the world a better place

Many artists draw inspiration from our natural world, including Macarena. She captures the beauty of nature on her sketchpad, creating stunning, original masterpieces teeming with life. Flowers seem to inspire her works of art the most.

“I find inspiration in nature and its diversity and uniqueness. I just love going through encyclopedias looking at all the different types of flowers. I mean, it’s crazy to think how there are endless types, many probably yet to be discovered,” Macarena says.

“I strive to combine these flowers with optimistic messages, to spread positivity. I believe that kindness is never wasted, and if I manage to brighten somebody else’s day, then my job is done.”

Creating a more positive world begins with each one of us, and Macarena contributes through art. Looking at positive messages can give strength and empowerment to someone going through a difficult time. The colorful, nature-filled background also adds to the cheery vibe, reminding anyone struggling of the simple beauty in life.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Macarena Chomik (@mletteringlover)

“For anyone who wants to start creating art, my advice would be to never give up. Practice makes perfect, so just keep going!” Macarena says. “Opportunities are out there waiting for you to grab them, so I know it sounds cliché, but do what you love; just do it. Just start and don’t think about it too much; you won’t regret it.”

Final thoughts on these unique works of art created from hand-lettered quotes.

We hope you enjoyed learning about how Macarena takes motivational quotes and turns them into works of art. So it is inspiring to see someone transform their hobby into a job that they’re passionate about! The artwork she creates spices up the hand-lettered quotes and makes a whimsical little world out of them. The quotes are the centerpiece, and the background pulls it all together.

Indeed, her artwork gives people hope and reminds them that they can create their own positivity in life. The pieces look beautiful as prints to hang on your wall or as stickers to place around your home.

Which of the pieces did you like best? Let us know in the comments!

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