There’s scarcely a person alive that hasn’t lied to their significant other. Lies can be lightweight, like where you spent money meant for bills, or it can be something heavier, like having an affair. On the flip side, you’ve probably also been less than transparent to your partner at some point or another. The result of dishonesty is a lack of trust in the relationship, and everything is affected from this point forward.
It’s as if you drew a line in the sand, and the person you once trusted is now a person you can’t trust. Being transparent in a relationship is essential for survival, including emotional transparency. How often do you push your thoughts and feelings to the background because you don’t want to offend or anger the one you love?
While this is a common issue in romantic relationships, it’s also essential in platonic ones. If you can’t tell your mother or father what they do that upsets you, you’re not being honest. A relationship with dishonesty under the surface is not healthy, and it can even be a toxic association in some respects.
Vulnerability and Being More Emotionally Transparent
When you’re emotionally transparent with someone, it requires that you be vulnerable. Think of transparency as the visibility of the deepest parts of your inner self. When these things are out in the open, it leaves you in a position to be accepted or rejected.
So many people avoid being transparent with their emotions because they fear rejection. If you tell your mother that you don’t like when she corrects your children when you’re in the room, you risk that she will get mad and stop visiting. So, some risks go along with being so open and honest.
However, you must remember that honesty is always the best policy, even when it comes to your emotions. The love for yourself and your overall mental wellbeing is more important than dealing in dishonesty.
Eight Reasons to Be Emotionally Transparent in a Relationship
Perhaps you’re afraid to show your transparency. You might fear you will be disliked, cause disagreements, or end up alone. However, you show open up and be honest for various reasons. Here are some of the main reasons being emotionally transparent is essential in any relationship.
1. Being Emotionally Transparent Boosts Trust
When you’re honest with someone about your feelings, you learn to trust one another. You open yourself to expose the deepest part of your soul, and they’re grateful that you trust them with their heart. It’s always better to shoot from the hip and be honest than beat around the bush and hide things under the rug.
A study by Northwestern University and Redeemer University College better explained this matter. They concluded that when partners trust one another, they view the other person as more considerate. They also noted that the other party feels safe, validated, and loved when there’s transparency.
2. There’s Healthier Communication
The goal in most relationships is to have healthy communication. When you’re sharing your innermost thoughts and how you feel, you’re opening the lines of communication to flow. Additionally, being upfront and honest with your emotions can alleviate the snowball effect that always ends in disaster.
Healthy communication allows you to get through anything that comes your way. As long as you’re talking to one another and being honest, you can make it through some of the most traumatic things.
3. It Builds a Healthy Foundation
Do you remember the story of the Three Little Pigs? They each build a house with different foundations. The first pig used straw, the second sticks, and the third bricks. While the other two were done with their homes much quicker, the one using bricks took a great deal of time to finish.
The first two pigs wanted to get a house built and move on with their lives, but the third pig was concerned with the finished product and its stability. However, all his hard work paid off when trouble came knocking as his house stood. When you’re transparent about your feelings, you’re helping to build a strong foundation that can withstand whatever storm life throws your way.
Sure, it’s hard work, and you might not reap the benefits right away, but eventually, you will see why it’s best to “build your house” without taking any shortcuts.
4. Being Emotionally Transparent Encourages Acceptance in the Relationship
Every healthy relationship is going to have disagreements. There’s nothing that says loving one another means that you must agree on everything. In fact, some conflict is healthy.
According to Psychology Today, there are many benefits from arguing. Dr. Jennifer Samp states that when you argue, that doesn’t mean there’s a crack in the relationship, but it’s just the opposite. These heated disputes allow you to talk and be aware of the other person’s stance.
She states that having social conflict isn’t threatening but helps understand each other more profoundly. But those who argue constantly aren’t in a healthy situation. The occasional dispute is acceptable, but if you’re arguing more often than not, it’s time to counsel or go your separate ways.
5. It Stops the Mind Games
Some people are the masters of manipulation and mind games. When you’re not being honest about how you feel, you create a situation where the other person must guess. Take, for instance, the wife that comes home and isn’t speaking to her husband.
She goes straight to the bedroom and closes the door. She doesn’t make dinner, and she refuses to have any communication. The husband is stunned because he has no clue what he’s done that’s upset her so, and he spends the entire night going through the daily events trying to figure things out.
Rather than just being honest and telling him that she was upset because he didn’t text or call on his lunch hour, she chose to close herself off. It’s very childish to play games, and if she had been transparent with how she felt, they could have avoided this unproductive time.
6. Transparency is Good for Your Health
When you’re dishonest and keep things inside, it can cause a great deal of stress on the body. Take, for instance, a man who is having an affair. He lives in secret and is always on edge about his wife finding out.
He screens every phone call, always watches over his shoulder, and must be proactive to hide bills and things that might tip off his spouse. All these actions can wear considerably on the nerves after a while. Now, if he had been open initially, he might have moved on with his life without so much stress.
Stress from being emotionally closed off can cause anxiety, depression, sleepless nights, and even a weakened immune system. According to a study conducted by the University of Notre Dame in Indiana and posted on US Newsweek. Stress kills, or so they say, but it also kills relationships.
7. It Prevents Romantic Boredom
Being honest and feeling safe and secure in your Relationship is imperative for survival. Regardless of what some might think, being confident with one another doesn’t create a monotonous relationship. However, when you and your partner are emotionally transparent, you boost your good mental health and increase self-love.
The University of Houston decided to study if folks securely attached believe they are worthy of love and a good relationship. They found that those who are secure with one another don’t have excessive worries about being abandoned or left.
8. You Show Respect When You Are Emotionally Transparent
Finally, when you’re honest in your Relationship, you show respect to one another. It’s just like calling your spouse or the person you live with and letting them know that you’ll be late for dinner. No, you don’t have to tell them every move you make, but you don’t want them to worry about you.
So, when you’re showing transparency with one another, you respect each other. You let this person into your heart and don’t have time for the silly mind games that many people play.
Final Thoughts on Being Emotionally Transparent in a Relationship
People get confused about being honest, and showing transparency doesn’t mean that you have to say everything you feel. Some things are better left unsaid, significantly if a random thought might hurt them. The difference between lying and keeping things to yourself should be observed.
However, when it comes to the big things, the stuff that matters, it’s essential that you be just as transparent as possible. Your relationships will benefit from your honesty, and your partner will learn to love, trust, honor, and respect you. Now, you must understand that this new way of living isn’t going to happen overnight, especially if you tend to be more emotionally closed off.
The key is that if you want a prosperous future with your partner, you must start laying the groundwork for a good foundation early on. Honesty and transparency are a way of life and not just a behavior that you must acquire. Once you learn the actual value of being honest with all the people in your life, they will have a more profound respect for you because they always know where they stand.