Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

10 Signs You’re Maturing, Not Just Aging

Are you maturing or aging?

“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” – Carroll Bryant

Upon the arrival of “adulthood”, society expects us to abandon our childlike tendencies, get a job, buy our own houses, and fall in line so we can become responsible, upstanding citizens of the world. As we get older, we tend to keep following the same old script, and somehow lose ourselves along the way. A lot of us feel much older than our age and wish we could turn back the hands of time. But, what if we said that you don’t have to become a hardened robot in order to attain maturity?

You don’t have to grow up to grow old – you can gain wisdom and experience without letting the strain of life age you. To know whether you have actually been maturing as you age, without simply growing old, let the following signs help you decide.

1. You have embraced your highest self.

A lot of people feel so old because they let their souls die in favor of fitting in and following the status quo. They give up their dreams and passions because they feel that the scripted reality seems much more achievable. By following the safe route in life, many feel dead before they even see their 21st birthday. However, a person who can be themselves and do what they love despite what others say marks a sign of maturity and self-actualization, a milestone many don’t reach because they’re too busy being someone other than themselves.

2. You go with the flow in life.

Most of society constantly fight the natural flow of life, thinking that this will get them to the next rung on the ladder more quickly. Yet, many of these people remain stuck in these cyclical patterns their whole lives, never feeling satisfied with their current situation. They might make $50,000 one year and not feel fulfilled because they really wanted to make $500,000, so the vicious pattern continues.

Mature people realize that they must surrender to what is before they can appreciate what’s to be. They have a resilient, optimistic attitude, which helps them handle life’s ups and downs much easier.

3. The material, economic world doesn’t define you.

You don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses, because you realize that this becomes fruitless after a while. Someone else will always have more than you, but you don’t let that bother you. You feel thankful for what you do have and strive to do your best every day. Maybe you won’t become a millionaire and have an impeccable credit score and a sprawling mansion, but you know you can’t take these things with you anyway. You have detached yourself somewhat from the rat race, and know that your true value comes from the size of your heart, not your bank account.

4. You see life as a playground and have fun often.

You view responsibility as staying true to your heart and being able to create your own happiness, not paying a bunch of bills and sitting in an office all day. While most of us must pay bills to survive, we don’t have to sell our souls in the process. Adults are often viewed as immature if they act like children, but aren’t we all just kids in adult bodies anyway? You know that having a whimsical, carefree disposition is vital to maturing gracefully and have never given in to society’s idea of growing up. You still run through sprinklers in the summer and play hide-and-seek sometimes, and you don’t care what others think about it.

5. You have learned to adopt a positive attitude.

Our predominant thoughts about life determine what kind of person we become, and you know that having a positive outlook will sculpt you into a much more balanced, happy person. You have given up the need to complain, compare yourself to others, and engage with people or activities that will only bring you down. Aging people often have a bitter attitude about life, but maturing people have realized the value of optimism. You have so much love and positivity in your heart that you can’t help but spread it around, and others appreciate your upbeat attitude.

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6. You don’t try to change what you can’t control.

You know that you only have control over yourself, so you don’t waste energy on attempting to change others. In addition, you know that change is the only constant in life, and embrace whatever life throws at you. You roll with the punches, try to become the best version of yourself, and realize that life’s beauty becomes apparent when you surrender to the unexpected.

7. You have unconditional love for everyone you meet.

Maybe you used to judge people, including yourself, in your earlier years. However, you eventually realized that only love would set you free, so you became more understanding and compassionate toward yourself and everyone else. You don’t criticize yourself or others on this journey of life and know that everyone must take their own paths to self-discovery. You embrace the duality of human nature and have even learned to love people who don’t show it in return.

8. You think before reacting.

You weigh people’s words carefully and don’t let your emotions get out of hand. Plus, you respond to people with reason and try to fully understand their point of view. Even if you feel they are out of line, you don’t stoop down to their level. You discuss issues with them calmly and don’t let your temper overtake the conversation. A true sign of maturity is when you can try to understand people that have hurt you instead of trying to get revenge on them.

9. You have mastered the art of listening.

You have humbled your ego enough to where you can listen intently to another person without feeling the need to interject your own opinion before they get finished speaking. And now, you know that you can learn more by listening than you can by talking, so you quiet your inner dialogue as much as possible and allow yourself to fully absorb other’s unique outlook on life.

10. You know what patience truly means.

In this world of instant gratification, you know the value of patience. You don’t expect things to just fall into your lap or happen instantly; instead, you put in the effort and wait for the rewards to materialize, no matter how long it takes. You don’t demand anything of life. Instead, you know that you owe something to it. You know the satisfaction of living a slower-paced life than most of society and try to set a positive example for a world that seems to move much too quickly. You realize you will get more out of life if you slow down and observe it rather than let everything pass you by.

Are you maturing as you age? Share how your experience relates in the discussion below. And, be sure to follow our Facebook page

15 Ways to Regain Inner Strength

The strain of a fast-paced life and societal expectations can easily wear you down if you allow it, and many people tend to get lost in the complexities of modern life.

Maybe you woke up one day and felt that you didn’t know yourself anymore and wished you could feel alive and vibrant like you used to. Your inner strength is still there. It’s up to you to dig deep and grab it.

These life hacks may help you reignite the spark within and regain your own inner strength.

15 Ways to Regain Inner Strength:

1. Seek out enjoyable hobbies and activities.

Simply put, many people feel dead inside because they don’t do what they love every day. However, you can always turn your life around – make a list of things you have always wanted to try, and see if your area offers anything on your bucket list. Even if you have a full-time job, you can still take an hour each day to garden, go biking, knit, draw, or just anything that makes you forget about the pressures in life.

2. Set small, achievable goals for yourself.

Overcoming challenges and doing something you thought you couldn’t do gives a sense of accomplishment and direction. However, you can easily feel defeated if you don’t reach that milestone, so break it up into smaller pieces. Once you start attaining smaller victories that feel comfortable, you can more easily reach those flags at the finish line.

3. Find balance in life.

Working too much can make you feel drained and unmotivated to do much else. No one can maintain high energy levels if they work their lives away and neglect relationships with themselves and others, recreational time, their health, and other important aspects of life. Allot time each day for things other than work, and you will soon start to enjoy life again.

4. Don’t let negative emotions get the best of you.

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You can acknowledge your feelings without giving into them and letting them rule your life. Let them wash over you, and then do something constructive with that energy. Put pain, frustration, loneliness, or whatever negative emotion you feel to good use; this way, your feelings become action, and action becomes change.

5. Choose to not let anything outside yourself dictate your emotions.

By taking ownership of your own feelings, you can truly become the master of your reality. If you feel negatively, go within to see what blockages you need to address, and ask the universe to guide you along your path. When you start to emit your own frequency rather than succumbing to the energy of others, you will start to feel invincible.

6. Never stay in an unhappy situation.

Change is the only constant in life, and you will have to learn to let go of things or people that no longer serve you. By staying in a negative situation just because you have grown accustomed to it, you will rob yourself of happiness and balance. Exercise your free will and get out of any relationship, job, or other circumstance that doesn’t feel right to you.

7. Make self-discovery a priority in the quest for inner strength.

If you want to reinvent yourself, you have to get to know every single crevice of your soul, even the dark corners you feel afraid to venture into. Go within and listen to your inner voice; if you don’t silence your mind and let your highest self come to the surface, you will only further suffocate your authenticity.

“Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you, it will only burn what you are not.” – Mooji

8. Avoid labeling yourself.

When you label something, you restrict it so that it can’t become anything outside of the stereotypes associated with the labels. For example, maybe you call yourself shy. This makes you believe you cannot feel confident going up to strangers and literally constricts you into your shell. Get used to identifying with the phrase “I AM” without putting any adjectives after it. Notice how liberated you feel afterward.

9. Start meditating regularly.

Once again, we go back to meditation because it can absolutely transform your life. You will start to become the awareness behind your thoughts and feelings and begin to discover your limitless power in the silence between your thoughts. More than anything else, going within and connecting with the universe will reestablish your strength and help you get in touch with your divine origins.

10. Eat a balanced, whole foods diet.

You quite literally become what you eat, so by eating heavily processed, sugary, refined foods, you will deplete your energy and start to feel lethargic. Give your body what it deserves – raw, fresh, ripe fruits and vegetables and unrefined starches, and you will begin to feel more alive both physically and mentally.

11. Move your body to build both outer and inner strength.

Exercising doesn’t only transform your outer self – it can give your inner self a healthy new glow and increased vitality. When you exercise, you release endorphins and other feel-good chemicals that help to rewire your brain and give you clarity, and you can start with just a short walk around your neighborhood each day. Most importantly, do some form of exercise that feels enjoyable to you.

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12. Live compassionately.

While many people don’t live this way, you can choose to rise above the status quo and instill new behaviors in society. Offer a helping hand to other people, and collaborate rather than compete. Live collectively rather than individualistically, and you will start to understand the amazing power of the human spirit.

13. Never sacrifice your integrity.

Don’t do something just because others do it – make decisions from the heart, and start listening to your intuition. We all have this innate ability to get in tune with ourselves and observe how something feels within our body; tap into your own higher insight so you can begin to live intentionally rather than passively.

14. Let go of past pain.

Leave the past behind you, and choose to forgive anyone who may have hurt you. Holding onto grudges acts as a slow poison eating away at your soul and devouring your happiness. Forgiveness will set you free and release all that energy so that you can use it to rebuild your own inner empire.

15. Don’t overcomplicate life.

We often make living much harder than it really is – as long as you have people who love you, enough food and water, your health, a place to sleep at night, and activities you enjoy, you have incredible wealth and happiness at your disposal. Just enjoy the moment and work on one small area of your life at a time if you feel you need to find your inner strength. Remember, this is just a temporary journey, so don’t take it too seriously.

15 Keys to Living a Long and Happy Life

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he U.S. centenarian population has been on the rise the past few decades, growing from 32, 194 people who lived to see their 100th birthday in the 1980s to 53, 364 centenarians in 2010, according to the Census Bureau. So, how does this relatively small group of people who live a longer life accomplish the incredible feat of living to such a ripe age?

Many of them credit these habits for granting them a long, happy, healthy life:

1. Cultivate a positive attitude.

In a 2012 study published in the journal Aging, researchers from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine found that out of 243 centenarians assessed, all of them had upbeat, optimistic, easygoing personalities. However, this one should come as no surprise – a pessimistic attitude drains you of vital energy and can even decrease your lifespan due to the shortening of telomeres, or the “end caps” of DNA strands. If you don’t already, practice developing a positive outlook on life. This rosy outlook will increase your longevity and possibly become a centenarian yourself!

2. Laugh often.

In the same journal referenced above, researchers from several prestigious universities discovered that the same 243 centenarians did more than just have a good attitude – they considered laughter an important part of life, too. Find reasons to laugh on a daily basis; not taking life so seriously could actually add some years to your lifespan.

3. Follow your unique life purpose.

People in Costa Rica call this a “Plan de Vida,” or reason to live. They feel that a strong sense of purpose and desire to contribute to a greater cause played a huge role in a small group of Costa Ricans living to 100. According to the website Blue Zones, people living in this area of Central America have twice as much likelihood as Americans of living to the age of 90.

4. Adopt a plant-based diet.

JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that vegetarians have a 12 percent lower risk than their meat-eating counterparts of suffering a premature death. Switching to a plant-based diet offers a slew of health benefits as well, which may explain why this group of people enjoys, on average, a much longer, vibrant life.

5. Get enough shut-eye.

Sleeping for at least seven or eight hours a night will leave you feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. That’s not to mention that sleep allows your body to produce important hormones as well. A Penn State study found that men who slept less than six hours a night had a four-fold increase in their chance of dying over a 14-year period. Prioritize sleep over staying up late surfing the web or partying with friends to join the growing number of centenarians on the planet.

6. Live in a sunny, tropical climate.

Not surprisingly, Hawaii comes in first for the happiest, the least-stressed state in the U.S., as well as the state with the greatest longevity. On average, a 65 year old living in Hawaii will live another 16.2 years, in comparison to another 10.6 years in the state with the lowest life expectancy, Mississippi.

7. Move your body.

A 123-year-old Bolivian man, Carlos Flores Laura, credits his longevity to taking daily walks. Others like Tao Porchon-Lynch, a 95-year-old yoga instructor, say that a regular yoga influenced their long lives. So choose an activity to take part in. Whatever it is, make sure you really enjoy it and can incorporate it into your routine regularly.

8. Help other people.

Yep, altruism can actually lead to a longer life. According to a University of Michigan study, volunteering for the purpose of helping others, not helping oneself, leads to an increased lifespan on average.

9. Take more vacations.

Make sure to allot some vacation time into your busy work schedule; it could actually save your life. The Framington Heart Study followed about 12,000 middle-aged men for nine years; the results of their study? The men who took more time off work actually lived longer than the workaholics. So, booking more vacations might not make your wallet too happy, but a longer life doesn’t sound too shabby, either.

10. Stay close with family.

According to government research, Hispanics actually live 2.5 years longer than Americans on average. Furthermore, researchers suspect that having a close-knit family has something to do with it. We can learn from all cultures, and the Latino community proves that family bonding can play a huge role in having a long, enjoyable life.

11. Stay in touch with your spirituality.

Whether you choose to attend church services or keep up a regular meditation practice, WebMD’s 2008 survey of centenarians showed that 84 percent of them viewed a healthy spiritual life as an important part of aging well. Take it from the centenarians – exploring your spirituality can lead to a better, longer life in the long run.

12. Tell yourself positive affirmations.

Yogi Tao Porchon-Lynch, the lady mentioned earlier in the article, also accredited positive self-talk to her long, healthy life. Even in her 90s, she wakes up every day and tells herself that each day will be the best day of her life. Repeating mantras like these to yourself can help instill a positive mindset and totally transform your outlook on life.

13. Keep your mind active.

Continual intellectual stimulation can add years to your life – in fact, 89 percent of centenarians do things to keep their brains busy, according to a 2008 WebMD survey.

14. Live conscientiously.

By far, researchers have found that being conscientious is one of the best indicators of how long a person will live. The book The Longevity Project talks about this in-depth. It explains that conscientious people have a higher likelihood of adopting healthier lifestyles and have more successful relationships and careers on average.

longer life15. Develop a resilient mindset.

Researchers at the Al Siebert Resiliency Center found psychologically resilient adults coped much better with life’s challenges and aged more gracefully. In other words, don’t ever stay down too long after an upsetting event. Instead, talk about your feelings openly. Then, get back up on your feet quickly to avoid falling into depression or stagnation. Easier said than done. However, it could tack on a few years to your lifespan, after all.

7 Habits of Highly Creative People

When we talk about creativity, we often think of it as an innate quality: you’re either creative, or you’re not. Those of us who don’t feel creative may lament our deficiency and look longingly at people who naturally seem to have creative spirits. The truth is that creativity is not just a natural talent; it can be cultivated just like any other skill.

Some people may find it easier to be creative than others, but that doesn’t mean that not everyone can be creative. In fact, with a little effort and the right habits, you might impress yourself by how creative you can be.  If you practice these creative habits in your life, you’re likely to come up with more new ideas and seeing interesting connections around you. As you learn to tap into your creativity, there are different habits you can use to expand your creative nature. Even if you’ve never felt particularly creative before, you can become a highly creative person, and unleash your full creative potential.

7 Habits of Highly Creative People

1. They focus attention on what is valuable to them (paid or not).

Creativity is hardly worth the effort if you’re bored with what you’re doing. If you want to be creative, it’s essential that you’re working towards pursuits that you find rewarding and meaningful. Of course, everyone needs to earn a living. It’s not always possible to do what you love 100% of the time. But if you don’t find your everyday activity rewarding, pause for a moment to think about what is meaningful to you. You can aspire to do what you love and what you find fulfilling, and take steps to make those activities a larger part of your life.

Doing something meaningful gives you the energy and motivation that fuels creativity, and in turn, will help you find more meaning in life.

2. They follow their intuition

Some of the most creative and successful people in the world got to where they are today by saying “Yes” when everyone else was telling them “No.” There are times when you need to trust your intuition, even if the outside world is full of doubts. When you’re creative, your ideas may be different from the norm. That doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. Do your research and listen to others’ advice, but don’t be afraid to trust your intuition and commit to a creative decision.

3. Creative people take time to play in the imagination sandbox.

Daydreaming doesn’t have to be unproductive. In fact, the freedom of daydreaming can help you to unlock new ideas and may work to encourage creative thought processes. So when you have some downtime, don’t be afraid to daydream about whatever comes to mind. You may just think up your next great idea.

4. They know how to trigger their creativity.

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Think about the last time you felt really creative. What were you doing? Were there any triggers or elements of your environment that made you feel particularly creative? Often, you can recreate these triggers to increase your creativity. Many people, for example, feel their most creative when they’re traveling. If that’s the case, try scheduling yourself a regular train or bus trip, even if it’s only a couple of towns over. If exercise brings out your creative juices, fit in a workout before you plan to work on something creative. Whatever gets your mind moving, figure out a way to fit it into your schedule to build up your creativity.

5. They follow inspirational sources.

Learning from others is a great way to boost your creativity. When you see or learn about someone who has been successful in your field, it can help to motivate you and give you a burst of creativity. Try talking to a mentor, reading a book written by (or about) a personal hero, or visiting your favorite inspirational website. The more inspiration you find and the more you learn, the more creative you’re likely to be.

6. They make the most of the challenges

Too often, we let an obstacle set us back and put an end to our creative energy. However, challenges can actually provide the best opportunities to come up with creative solutions and achieve personal growth.

When you are faced with an obstacle, instead of giving up, put your creativity to the test and come up with a way to defeat it. You may find that when you’re overcoming a challenge, you’re at your best.

7. They embrace new ideas and try new things.

New experiences are some of the absolute best fuel for creativity. They expose you to new activities, new feelings, and new ideas. They also help you to expand your knowledge and skills. In addition, you’ll learn to overcome fear, which can be one of the biggest obstacles to creativity. Try to fit in at least one new experience each week. It can be something big, like a new hobby, or something small, like talking to someone you’ve never met or trying out a new restaurant.

Are you unleashing your full creative potential?  Share the things you do to unlock your creativity in the discussion below!

11 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulation

All emotions, whether good or bad, serve a purpose in our journeys – but be aware of those who want to use the mighty power of emotional manipulation against you.

If you identify as an empath, this will especially apply to you, as this group of people is most vulnerable to picking up negative energy from others. Next time you feel emotional manipulation consult these tips for protecting your own energy field.

7 Red Flags That Reveal Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation happens when someone seeks to gain power or control by employing certain tactics. Usually, it involves gaslighting, passive aggression, and emotional abuse such as name-calling. A 2013 study found that emotional abuse can cause just as much harm as physical abuse, leading to depression and poor self-image. Unfortunately, emotional abuse occurs often in relationships, with 47% of women and almost 47% of men experiencing it at some point.

Whether you’re in the workplace or on a date, look out for these warning signs of an emotional manipulator.

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1.    Intellectual Bullying Reveals Emotional Manipulation

Some emotional manipulators will attempt to gain power over you through intellectual bullying. Basically, this just means they bombard you with facts and knowledge to confuse or overwhelm you. When you’re in a vulnerable state, it makes you much easier to control. Many narcissists use this tactic, and may even quiz you about certain topics. They’re trying to gauge how much you know to see how you measure up against them.

2.    Emotional Invalidation

Emotional manipulation can also take the form of invalidation, where the person tries to downplay your feelings or experiences. For instance, if you’re explaining how you fell at work and they immediately shift the focus on themselves, they’re trying to manipulate you. It might seem innocent at first, but their intentions will become clear eventually.

People who compare your issues with theirs want to garner sympathy but can’t seem to show it. It’s best to steer clear of people who invalidate your problems, especially if they claim to care about your wellbeing. If they did, they would show it through their actions.

3.    Gaslighting and Playing the Victim

If a person gaslights you, it’s a clear sign they’re engaging in emotional manipulation. Gaslighting involves making the victim question their own sanity by twisting stories or creating false narratives. Of course, they want you to feel crazy in order to maintain control. They don’t want to take accountability for any problems in the relationship, blaming you for anything that goes wrong.

If you bring up a concern, they will immediately downplay your feelings or even deny their wrongdoing. They want you to feel responsible for any mistakes to lower your self-esteem even further. You know in your gut when something feels off in a relationship, so please don’t fall for this manipulation technique.

4.    Shaming Can Be a Sign of Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulators want you to feel inferior, guilty and shameful so they have power over your emotions. When they know they can get a rise out of you, it becomes an addiction. They will always crave more because they enjoy seeing you upset.

Like any energy vampire, they thrive off negative emotional reactions and people with compassion. Emotional manipulators usually target empathetic victims since they tend to see the positives in others. That way, they’re blindsided when the manipulation begins since they never saw it coming.

The manipulator may shame you by saying you’re ungrateful for everything they’ve done for you. They want you to feel obligated to them in some way, but in reality, you only owe yourself the freedom to leave this toxic relationship.

5.    Lying

While a white lie here and there doesn’t always point to emotional manipulation, it’s a red flag when it happens repeatedly. The person may lie to hide something they feel ashamed about, such as cheating. Or if they’re a compulsive liar, they’ve learned to make up stories out of habit, either to embellish or deny facts. Either way, lying about important things in relationships can create a rift between people over time.

Trust forms the foundation in a healthy relationship, and once the lies accumulate, it begins to crack. Sure, you can repair things after one or two lies, but at some point, the trust disappears completely. Just remember, if someone truly loves and cares about you, they’ll tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts. They’d rather come clean than walk around with a heart full of secrets.

6.    Using Ultimatums

Another common form of emotional manipulation involves giving someone ultimatums. The manipulator does this to find your weaknesses so they can get what they want. For instance, your partner might say they will break up with you if you go out for girl’s night. Not only does this point to a controlling partner, it also shows they have deep-seated insecurities. Or, perhaps they might ask for financial help, saying that “If you love me, you’ll do this for me.”

Of course, someone who uses ultimatums doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

7.    Giving Silent Treatment

A common passive aggressive behavior, the silent treatment is used to gain control in a relationship. This form of emotional manipulation may occur after an argument or disagreement, especially if the person felt unheard. They want to shift all the attention onto themselves and gain sympathy by refusing to communicate with you.

The manipulator figures that, after a while, you will come crawling back to them and apologize for your behavior. They want you to feel responsible, even if the argument was their fault. Eventually, you might feel worried about them and decide to break the silence. This is what they had planned all along, of course, so that you’d forget about the underlying issues and admit your mistake.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who employs the silent treatment often, let them know it bothers you. Relationships are a two-way street and require active communication from both people.

11 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulation

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1. Don’t fall into their trap.

People who take pleasure in toying with others’ emotions will use any sort of tactics, such as confusion, blame, and interrogation, in order to really get under your skin. If you have to deal with these types of people often, like in your workplace, just ignore them or surprise them by saying something nice instead of meeting them with a combative attitude. Emotional manipulators thrive off getting a rise out of you, so make sure you don’t give them what they want – after several failed attempts, they may begin to leave you alone.

2. Start writing down what they say during conversations.

While this might seem a little overboard, emotional manipulators have a habit of making you look like the bad guy, and twisting their words to fit any agenda. You might actually start to believe sometimes that you have done something wrong when in reality, you have fallen victim to their terrible scheme. To make sure you can actually show them what they said in prior conversations, jot down any details you think they might conveniently change later in order to justify their behavior. They may also try to convince you they never said a certain thing, but you can actually prove they did with the notes you take.

Get smart about protecting yourself from their wrath, and they may soon get discouraged from using you as their emotional toy.

3. Steer clear whenever possible.

Of course, avoiding emotional manipulators and instigators will totally eliminate your chances of getting taken advantage of by them. To do this, try your best to read people’s energy when you first meet them. If you don’t get a good vibe from them, simply trust your gut and make a pact to steer clear of them when you can. Working in the same place as an emotional manipulator can be a bit trickier, but just aim to limit your interactions with the person as much as possible. You will save yourself a lot of energy and sanity by doing so.

4. Call them out on their behavior.

These people have probably bossed around others for so long and have never been confronted for it. Stand up for yourself and let them know that they make you feel uncomfortable and taken advantage of. Even if they deny their behavior or try to turn it back around on you, at least you can rest easy knowing you actually defended yourself and stood up for the truth. Maybe they will begin to change their tune if you struck a nerve with them; after all, once they scare everyone away, they will have no one to manipulate anymore, anyway.

5. Avoid emotional attachment with them

Easier said than done, especially if they don’t show their true colors immediately.  Pay attention to the first sign of them completely steamrolling your emotions, slowly back away from the relationship, and make sure to let them know your boundaries. Emotional manipulators constantly scan the horizon for their next victim, but it’s much easier to break away if you haven’t invested too much in the relationship, to begin with. If you must talk to them, maintain a cordial, civil relationship, but don’t let it go any further than that if you value your emotional well-being.

6. Meditate often.

In order to keep your vibration high, you need to silence the mind, breathe deeply, and get in touch with the higher realms to adequately handle yourself on Earth. It will help you deal with emotional manipulators much better because you will have inner peace no matter how much chaos unfolds around you. Loving-kindness meditation, specifically, will allow you to cultivate compassion for this person and maybe open your eyes to what they have been through in their life. Meet hostility with love and understanding, and you just might witness them to transform into a new person after a while.

7. Inspire them.

It’s important to “be the change”, and in this instance, it will inadvertently protect you because they won’t emit such negative vibes after they’re inspired by your own non-manipulative, positive actions. Bring up the benefits of meditation, taking responsibility for their own life, following their true passions, volunteering, eating a clean diet, and exercising. Use all the knowledge you have gained about becoming your best self in order to help them become their best selves, too.

8. Tell them “you’re right.”

As hard as this might be for the ego, your soul will give you a round of applause and possibly a standing ovation, too. Emotional manipulators feed on drama, so agreeing with them will leave them speechless and quickly put out the flames of their delusions. Just for the sake of keeping your peace of mind, simply let them win the argument. You know deep down that their behavior and accusations were wrong, but they will have to deal with that karma later anyway.

9. Let go of harmful relationships.

If you notice this type of behavior in your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, you should leave that relationship behind in favor of your own well-being. You can’t force a person to change, no matter how many times you have brought up their volatile behavior. You deserve someone who will nurture and balance your emotions, not someone who wants to use you for their own personal enjoyment.

10. Develop a strong mentality.

Don’t ever let their insults or outbursts get inside your head; laugh at them or just entertain their thoughts without agreeing with them. If you know what kind of person you are and have a strong sense of self-worth, nothing they say will ever bring you down.

11. Give yourself positive self-talk throughout the day.

An emotional manipulator can completely tarnish your otherwise peppy mood, so make sure you restore yourself with uplifting affirmations and messages during the day. They thrive on seeing your mood go down the drain, so when they see you unaffected by their brash remarks, they won’t have a reason to torment you any longer.

letting go

Final Thoughts on Recognizing and Protecting Yourself From Emotional Manipulation

Unfortunately, emotional manipulation occurs quite often in schools, workplaces, and relationships. Many of us have probably manipulated people without even realizing it as well, because no one is perfect. However, when someone intentionally deceives others with the goal of getting something from them, it becomes a form of abuse. In daily life, it’s important to shield yourself from negative people and walk away from anyone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

Emotional manipulators usually reveal themselves much like narcissists do, by lying, gaslighting, invalidating your feelings, or shaming you. Don’t fall for these tactics, as they can only derive power by steamrolling over others.

9 Ways to Reconnect With Your Higher Self

What if I told you that your higher self lies beyond the barriers of this physical world, but you can still access this high vibrational being while on Earth? It might seem a little farfetched because we have been taught that the only reality that exists is right before our eyes. However, once you open your mind to other possibilities, you will likely encounter your higher self on your journey to the ultimate truth.

In the beginning, getting in touch with the truest version of yourself can be a bit challenging, but these tips can make the process easier.

9 Ways to Reconnect With Your Higher Self:

1. Meditate, meditate, and don’t forget to meditate.

There’s a reason why this is first on the list: meditation allows you to silence your thoughts and reach new spiritual heights through your breath and stillness. It lifts the veil between this world and other worlds, and consequently reveals the self you have been searching for throughout your life.

Meditation allows you to travel via your mind to other dimensions and reawaken your relationship with your most authentic self. You can start with just ten minutes a day to ease into it, and gradually build yourself up to longer meditation sessions when you feel ready.

2. Allow love to motivate all your actions and words.

Many people operate on the vibration of fear, so in turn, we see war, starvation, crime, struggle, arguing, and all sorts of other disasters on both large and small scales. However, if we all tuned into our divine nature and realized that only love will save us, this entire world would function much differently. If you really want to embody your highest self, tell yourself subtle reminders throughout your day such as “I am love” or “I love everyone” or “Is this the most loving choice I can make for myself?”

Try to let love drive all your words, thoughts, and actions, and you will definitely feel a shift in your energy in a short amount of time.

3. Only listen to your own heart when making decisions.

This might seem presumptuous, but at the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone else. If you don’t feel happy in your current job, seek a new one on your own terms. If you hate the city you live in, move somewhere that aligns more with your interests and lifestyle, even if your family and friends don’t agree with your choice.

To honor your highest self, you need to follow your own heart so you can become the extraordinary being you were meant to be.

4. Abandon the victim mentality.

Anyone who reaches a higher state of existence in this life knows that they can’t blame anything outsides themselves for their circumstances. If you really want to thrive, you need to give up the habit of casting blame on people, places, and events for your troubles. We have all been victims from time to time because it just seems easier to put the blame on others rather than taking responsibility for our own lives. But, the only way to initiate change is to accept that you are a co-creator of your own reality. You hold the key, so only you can unlock the door to a more meaningful life.

5. Eat more wholesome foods.

Believe it or not, what you put in your body directly affects your vibration. The right foods, such as raw fruits and veggies, offer nourishment for our minds and bodies and allow us to perform at our most optimal levels. If you want to feel lighter and more vibrant, try incorporating more fresh, ripe fruits and vegetables into your diet. Meat, dairy, and processed foods take a long time to digest, therefore robbing our bodies of vital energy. Fruits and veggies digest quickly, however, and give our bodies the fuel they need to function properly.

6. Ask your Higher Self to speak to you.

Even if the communication is only one-way in the beginning, just request the guidance and wisdom of your higher self throughout your day. You might start seeing strange synchronicities through songs on the radio, repeating numbers on the clock, vivid dreams that seem very real, or even meeting people that you feel you have known forever. Your Higher Self wants to contact you after a long hiatus, but just apply patience and remember that he or she will speak to you when you’re truly ready. Answers will come when you least expect them.

7. Avoid labeling your emotions, and just observe them without judgment.

By perpetually fighting emotions and viewing them as “bad,” you will only invite them to come back with even more vengeance next time around. Look at your emotions as teachers; they all have important lessons to convey to you, but you have to keep your ears and mind open to retain the messages. Our true selves don’t know the struggle, so getting into the “flow” of life will bring you closer to your most natural state.

8. Spend as much time outdoors as possible.

When you sit with Mother Earth and become friends with the trees, birds, sun, and the earth itself, you will start to remember that you and all other life are weaved into the same web. Allow yourself to get lost in nature for the afternoon; run through the forest, splash in the streams, and just forget about all your responsibilities for a while.

We actually used to live among the trees not too long ago, but we have been removed from our natural environment and lost our close bond with nature. For this reason, spending lots of time outdoors can rekindle your ties with the Earth and bring about remembrance to your true origins.

9. Watch mind-opening documentaries or YouTube channels.

Most of what you see on mainstream TV is highly misconstrued or fabricated to keep people distracted from the real truth. If you want to increase your vibration, seek out alternative methods of gaining information, such as thought-provoking documentaries. By keeping an open mind, you will increase your understanding of yourself and the world around you, and begin to align your life with the intentions that your Highest Self set for you long before you incarnated on Earth.

20 Things People Don’t Do In a Healthy Relationship

Many people know what it takes to maintain balanced, happy relationships in life: love, trust, compassion, compromise, laughter, a deep connection, and respect, to name a few. However, many of us don’t recognize unhealthy relationships, even if we are in one.

To cultivate supportive, healthy relationships in life, make sure to avoid the following things that often sabotage them:

20 Things People Don’t Do In a Healthy Relationship

healthy relationship

1. Get too serious, too quickly.

It can be tempting to contemplate the future with your partner, but to get there, you must build on the present moment. You have to immerse yourself in the now with that person if you want to make the journey into the future with them. Take things day by day instead, and just enjoy the person’s company without feeling the need to live too far in the future.

2. Use the relationship to fill a void.

Many look to others to distract them from inner problems or heal their pain. While other people can make you feel happy, you should never rely solely on them to alleviate emptiness or loneliness. Become so happy with yourself and your life that a relationship only adds to your happiness, not serves as your only source for it.

3. Never expect challenges or problems to arise.

Some conflicts will inevitably occur in any close relationship. A disagreement here and there does not automatically mean that you and the other person should go your separate ways; rather, it just gives you both opportunities to grow closer and learn from one another.

4. Let the fear of getting hurt overwhelm them.

We all have been hurt somehow, but love will always prevail in the end. If you really feel a connection with someone, see where it leads rather than cutting them off due to past pain. When you hold back, you halt any progression the relationship might make; healthy relationships require openness and vulnerability in order to last in the long run.

5. Withholding the truth.

When asked about the most important quality a person can possess, most people quickly say “trust.” If two people don’t have that, the foundation of the relationship will quickly crumble once the truth finally comes to the surface. Healthy relationships require two people committed to sharing their darkest secrets and most authentic self no matter what.

6. Expressing fake feelings.

Telling a person you just don’t feel the same way can cause discomfort, especially if the other person really likes you. Don’t ever feel wrong for letting them down – being honest with them, no matter how they react, will allow them to move on without getting too heavily invested in the relationship in the first place.

7. Repressing their best self.

If you don’t show other people your authentic nature, they will never get the opportunity to know the real you. By letting your inner light shine through, you will just feel more alive and can better gauge the connection between you and the other person.

8. Waiting for another person to approve who you are.

No one needs the approval to be themselves  – we can all express ourselves fully without having to check with someone else for validation. Healthy relationships should consist of two whole, confident people who have worked on creating their best selves and can offer this to someone else without reservation.

9. Holding grudges.

Even people who love you might unintentionally hurt you – to keep a healthy relationship, it requires forgiveness and understanding. Even if the incident means parting ways, letting go of the hurt is the only way to restore inner peace.

10. Living in the past.

Focusing on the wrongdoings and mistakes that people in your past made will only make you feel negative about your current relationship. Let go and leave those relationships where they belong – fixating on prior pain will only cause more to appear…what you resist persists.

stop living in the past

11. Expecting their lover always to carry their weight.

People sometimes go through deep struggles that you may not know about. Understand that your partner can still love you, but just be unable to carry the burden of your problems on top of theirs at the moment.

12. Defining people solely by their flaws.

People in healthy relationships lift each other up, not cut each other down. Everyone has imperfections, but they don’t make up the totality of someone’s character. Choose to see the beauty in others, and you will see more of that in yourself.

13. Giving with expectations of receiving.

If you can only give to someone else when they promise something in return, you will always attract self-seeking types of people. Give just because you can, and you will inevitably gain more. The universe will always offer the same energy that you give out.

14. Taking relationships for granted.

People need validation that they matter, even if they have a lot of confidence in themselves. Show or tell people you care. Otherwise, they won’t feel like they make any sort of impact on your life or contribute at all to your happiness.

15. Leaving during tough times.

True relationships can weather any type of storm, and don’t just stick around for the happy times. People in healthy relationships also want to help one another through trying times because they genuinely care.

16. Trying to change the other person.

If you don’t like the other person as they are, you probably should find another partner who aligns more with your own values and personality. Healthy relationships thrive when both people absolutely love one another and can thoroughly enjoy each other’s company.

17. A need to talk (without listening).

Healthy relationships require some talking and a whole lot of listening. Sometimes, the best gift you can give is silence. When you open your heart and ears to listen, you allow a space for the other person to talk openly and really be understood.

18. Staying with someone just because it feels comfortable.

If someone doesn’t encourage you to grow and create yourself by trying new things, it might be time to leave them behind. Relationships should help you reach new heights, not hold you back.

19. Feeling jealous when the other person succeeds.

You should feel happy when other people reach a new goal or accomplish an exciting feat – jealousy leads to self-hatred and will only impede your own growth. People in healthy relationships want to see the other person thrive and support their dreams.

healthy relationship

20. Say “yes” all the time just to avoid conflict.

If you only say what the other person wants to hear, you will soon fall out of sync with your intuitive needs. Honor yourself always, even if that means disagreeing with someone. They will probably respect you more for speaking up, and you can usually find a way to compromise with the other person.

5 Gut Instincts You Should Never Ignore

When people say they’re gut instincts, they really mean that their intuition is guiding them in making a decision.

We all have this innate ability to listen to that inner voice telling us not to go through with something, or that the person asking us for help might have ulterior motives, or that our childhood dream could actually become a fulfilling career choice in our adult life.

We can essentially decode this often indescribable gut feeling we get in certain situations, because that pang in your stomach, a sudden bout of fatigue, or strong urge to help the person next to you can reveal more than you think.

Here are five instincts you don’t want to ignore:

 

gut-instincts-quote

1. “I don’t feel good.”

If something in your body doesn’t feel right, you should listen to this feeling before it gets any worse. A lot of people ignore subtle signs from their bodies and end up dealing with a much larger problem than they originally planned for. Your body instinctively knows when something is off balance, and those initial warning signs warrant your acknowledgment and further investigating to find out what your intuition is trying to tell you. Don’t ever hesitate to go to your wellness advocate if your inner voice starts to scream at you to take action – the human body communicates to us surprisingly often through the power of intuition.

On another note, pay attention to how you feel every time you interact with someone. Do you feel drained, anxious, or depressed? These feelings have come to the surface for a reason – by listening to yourself intuitively, you can determine which people in your life suck your energy dry, and who actually makes you feel alive.

Your intuition speaks to you in many ways, so never ignore any “off” feelings you get, no matter how subtle.

2. “This situation seems dangerous.”

Have you ever seen the Final Destination movies, where one person out of a group of friends gets intense visions before something bad happens? These movies, whether intentionally or not, portray the uncanny role that intuition can play in perilous situations.

For instance, maybe on your weekly trip to the grocery store, someone meets your gaze and you instantly get an uneasy feeling about them. Let’s say they start to follow you discreetly around the store, and then you watch them go outside without buying anything. However, they don’t leave; instead, they wait outside the store, and you intuitively feel that by going to your car, you will put yourself in a potentially life-threatening situation. While this person may not have directly endangered you, your intuition commands you to not leave the store without telling the manager or calling the police first.

The fight-or-flight response in humans was designed to warn us of immediate danger, and move us to act on that feeling. While our gut instincts can have flaws, you should listen to them regardless – they might just save your life.

gut instincts

3. “I should help that person.”

Gut instincts don’t always indicate something negative. Since we all originate from the same source, we have direct ties to each other and can sense when someone needs help. We have the powerful ability to read other people’s energy by evaluating their facial expressions, body language, or just how we feel around that person. Have you ever noticed how everyone scrambles to offer whatever help they can after a natural or man-made disaster?

This strong desire to assist our fellow humans comes prewired in our evolution as a species; after all, when humans lived off the land, they depended on one another for survival. Some of them gathered wood for shelter and fire, while others wanted to help find food for themselves and others. They helped one another not just out of necessity, but because of a deep understanding that humans need to feel cared for and protected.

Offer help even if the person in question doesn’t ask for it – nonverbal cues can offer much more insight than words in these types of situations.

4. “This comes naturally to me.”

Overthinking can often cause problems that didn’t even exist in the first place, especially in regard to your natural talents. Maybe you have spent weeks practicing your lines for a play, and have all the hand motions, inflections in your tone, and the whole thing down pat. Then, when you get on stage for your final practice, you suddenly forget everything you worked so hard practicing. Or, maybe you have become the star player on your baseball team, but your mind runs on overdrive and puts you under pressure, making you miss every ball pitched to you at home base.

People with extraordinary talents commonly choke when it’s time for them to perform, and all of it stems from letting their minds run haywire. They pay too much attention to their thoughts, rather than letting their instincts take over. If something comes naturally to you, distract your mind with something other than the task at hand, such as a song or memory that makes you happy, and allow your instincts to take over instead.

gut instincts

5. “This just feels right.”

Whether it applies to changing careers, picking your next boyfriend or girlfriend, or deciding where to live, your intuition actually plays a bigger role than rational thinking in these decisions. When you make these life-altering choices, it mostly boils down to how you feel about them. Think about it: we all just want to feel good, so we add and subtract things from our life to align with that feeling.

If your career earns you $100,000 a year but makes you miserable, would you stick with it rather than take your dream job that pays $40,000? Your gut instincts would probably tell you to do what makes you happy and take the lower-paying job rather than keep one that makes you feel dead inside.

When something feels right, a lightbulb goes off inside you and it doesn’t really require much cognitive ability – it comes easily to you.

Listen to your gut instincts next time you make an important decision – it will help you choose the right path.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Want to Start Meditation But Not Sure How? Here Are 6 Tips to Get Started

We’ve all heard about the benefits of meditation–lower stress levels, more focus, increased self-awareness, better sleep. But actually doing it–and doing it right–can be a challenge.

Or so we think.

It turns out meditation isn’t as hard as many of us make it out to be.

Follow these 6 simple techniques to make meditation a regular part of your routine — no experience necessary!

1 – Start small.

Don’t overwhelm yourself by attempting to sit in stillness for an hour a day. It’s not easy and five minutes is enough to start feeling the benefits. Begin with a challenging but achievable practice schedule and increase the duration as your comfort level grows.

2 – Use a meditation guide.

You don’t have to go it alone! There’s no shame in starting with a guided meditation soundtrack or video to ease yourself into the practice. YouTube videos and smartphone apps are great resources for this. Once finding stillness becomes more natural for you, you can graduate to self-guided meditation.

3 – Be forgiving.

No matter what happens during your practice, don’t stress about it. You may feel nervous about clearing time in your schedule, anxious when your thoughts wander, or frustrated if you feel like you just can’t relax. Feel these emotions as they come up, and then gently let them go without judgment. As your practice grows, it will get easier and easier to return to the present moment. Take things one day at a time, one breath at a time.

4 – Experiment.

As a beginner, feel free to experiment with various styles and seated positions in your meditation practice. Try sitting cross-legged, on your knees, on a pillow, or on a chair. Place your hands at the center of your chest, palms-down on your knees, or folded at your waist. You could even consider lying down. Everyone has their own style, so explore until you find a posture that is relaxing yet energizing for you.

5 – Prepare your space.

One of the biggest mistakes beginners make is failing to create peaceful practicing conditions. If you’re nervous that your phone might ring, the kids might burst in, or your teapot might boil over, keeping your mind at rest will be a struggle. Light incense or some good quality candles to signify the start of your practice. Create an altar of soothing images or memorabilia to focus on and keep a warm, fuzzy blanket within reach.

6 – Create a meditation routine.

Being consistent with how you practice will not only make it easier to embrace stillness, but it will also help you develop a strong habit. Pick a time of day to consistently devote to meditation — every day! — and designate a quiet space you know will always be available. Make meditation a habit rather than a choice and before you know it, your day will seem incomplete without it.

(Still not sure how to begin? Set yourself up for meditation success with this incense and tea light comfort set.)

Written by Grace H.

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