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11 Things You Need to Text Yourself When You Feel Down

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Like most people in this digital era, you’ve probably sent your fair share of text messages. (Some people send hundreds of texts per day. Crazy!)

But have you ever sent reminders or text messages to yourself?

While this idea seems a little outlandish, sending messages to yourself can actually be a good way to stay on track mentally. Sending solo text messages is also an excellent way to keep your head on straight and to remind yourself to keep looking forward.

Depending on the model of your phone and the apps available, you may be able to send yourself delayed text messages. (There is a free way to do this with an Android smartphone via the “Messages” app, and a paid application is available via the App Store on the iPhone.) Reading a well-timed message is great for times like the notorious mid-afternoon slump at work or the hellish early morning!

Here are 11 things to text yourself when you catch yourself feeling down:

1. “Remember your strengths/accomplishments/wins.”

However you want to phrase your message is cool. The point here is not to allow the frenzy of life sabotage your sense of self-worth.

So often, we forget what a real badass we are – things we’ve overcome, achieved, and won. Reminding yourself of these things is not egotistical; it’s necessary.

2. “Emotions are fleeting.”

That’s right, this includes the good emotions. Why remember this quote? Why text this to yourself?

Because human beings, when their mind is adrift (which is most of the time), gravitate towards impulsivity and negative emotions. If you’re feeling great when you get this message, that’s okay! Enjoy the moment! If you’re feeling bad, remember that it’s only temporary!

3. “Adversity breeds character.”

Building strength requires frictional force. When you’re having a crappy day, remember that you are becoming a stronger individual. You’re building a more refined character.

It’s hard to remember these points in the throes of a maddening workday or overscheduled evening, which makes it a perfect memo to send to yourself.

4. “Here and now.”

This quote is all about mindfulness. The fact of the matter is that our minds tend to fixate on the past or the future; what has happened and what could happen. These ruminations are the antithesis of mindfulness, which is based on accepting your present condition, be it good or bad.

Be here. Now.

perfect moment

5. “The only constant is change.”

In today’s 24/7, always-on society, the only constant is continuous change. This isn’t a bad thing. Can you imagine a world where nothing changed, whether good or bad? In the former scenario, we’d be in a utopia; the other, hell.

Good, neutral, or negative; change happens. Embrace it – or at least accept it.

6. “You’re not an island.”

A twist on “No one is an island,” this personalized quote serves to remind you that people are standing by and willing to help. In the midst of turmoil, it’s easy to feel a dark sense of solitude.

Remembering that good souls are there to lend their ear is something we all need to remind ourselves from time to time.

7. “Attention regulates emotion.”

To all the parents out there, how many times have you used the “What’s that?!” or “Look over there!” trick to calm your rambunctious or wailing child?

What happens? Well, your kid stops (at least for a while!) The reason is that where we put our focus (on the inner, outer, or “other”) is what determines our emotions. The fact that we can choose our emotions through our attention is very powerful when applied with a purpose.

8. “Remember to move.”

Nothing beats moving around to get yourself feeling better faster. Today’s office jobs are (sadly) ruled by the stationary, sit-in-your-chair-and-don’t-move-till-it’s-breaktime old-fashioned ways of working.

Remind yourself to move around when you can – even if it’s just a quick stretch or jaunt around your desk. You’ll feel better almost instantly.

9. “No one is perfect.”

As mentioned, our mind tends to gravitate towards the negative when it’s adrift. And, unsurprisingly, our mind drifts off much of the time. Sometimes, these negative thoughts may ruminate on your imperfections.

Well, everyone has imperfections. Even “Mr. and Mrs. Perfect” live seriously imperfect lives. This message serves to remind us to be content with who we are and to stop comparing ourselves to other people.

10. “Breathe.”

Did you know that deep breathing is one of the best ways to ease your nerves? It’s absolutely true! Known as the “relaxation response,” inhaling to the count of four and exhaling to the count of six activates the parasympathetic nervous system, or PNS.

The PNS slows your heart rate, calms your nerves, focuses your brain, and puts you in a better state of mind!

11. “All you need is love.”

This self-message serves to remind you that – when all is said and done – love is the thing that matters the most in this lifetime. You may feel bad, but know that someone loves you.

Use this message to remember your loved ones and to send them a bit of love during the day!

https://youtu.be/m-qoeOxXwXM

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/a17850623/mental-health-things-to-remember-feeling-down-sad-not-okay/
https://www.ricksdailytips.com/reminders-via-text-message/

Researchers Explain What Your Fingernails Can Tell You About Your Health

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Can fingernails provide a quick glimpse into the state of our health?

As it turns out, there exists a multitude of conditions and diseases that affect your nails.

Fingernails, after all, are extensions of the skin. Per the American Academic of Dermatology (AAD), nail health – as with skin health – is vital.

Let’s take a step back and ask a question: what are nails, exactly?

Here’s Wikipedia’s definition of a nail:

“A nail is a horn-like envelope covering the tips of the fingers and toes in most primates and a few other mammals … (they) are made of a tough protective protein called alpha-keratin.”

Keratin is a protein that is used in many skin and hair products. It’s fair to say that our nails, skin, and hair are all biologically related. Here’s one example of this:

“A 2012 paper noted that 77 percent of psoriasis sufferers have nail abnormalities, most commonly (the nail conditions) pitting and onycholysis (seperation of the nail from the nail bed). Though far more common on toenails, fungus can also infect fingernails (onychomycosis), causing nails to thicken and turn yellowish.”

In short, nail abnormalities often accompany skin conditions – and vice-versa.

Here are five other nail conditions and their associated health indications:

– Nail clubbing

Clubbing occurs when the fingertips become engorged, and your nails curve downward. It’s common for the nails to appear almost sickly white, which is often representative of a sign of low oxygen in the blood. Clubbing has been associated with heart disease, inflammatory bowel disease, kidney disease, and lung disease.

health-fingernails

– Horizontal indentations (Beau’s lines)

Parallel ridging of the nails, known as ‘Beau’s lines,’ show an abnormality in nail growth. Beau’s lines may be a sign of diabetes, psoriasis, or a zinc deficiency. They can also be the product of nail trauma, or a high fever that sometimes accompanies a severe illness.

– White Bands (Muehrcke’s Nails)

Whitish bands that appear as strips across the width of the nail characterize the condition known as Muehrcke’s Nails. The condition may be related to kidney or liver disease and may also occur as a result of chemotherapy treatment.

– Brittle, Cracked or Dry Nails

Dry, cracked or brittle nails is indicative of exposing your hands to frequent water submersion. If you’re a dishwasher, diver, fisherman, or swimmer, you’ve likely experienced this symptom on occasion.

It’s also worth mentioning the dry nails may reveal a Vitamin A, B, or C deficiency. Brittle nails may result from frequent use of nail polish remover or chemical exposure (from household cleaning products, for example.)

– Spoon nails (koilonychia)

Nails that appear abnormally flat, thin, or bowl-shaped are often associated with severe iron-deficiency anemia. Systemic illnesses may also be the cause, commonly resulting from repeated exposure to nail trauma or toxic chemicals.

Proper Nail Care and Good Health

AAD gives the following seven recommendations for keeping nails healthy:

– Keep your nails clean and dry. This prevents bacteria from accumulating below the nail’s surface and causing the growth of unsightly fungal infections of the nails.

– Cut your nails correctly – straight across and rounded slightly in the center. Proper cutting will help keep the nail healthy and prevent ingrown nails.

– Soak your feet in warm salt water for 5 to 10 minutes. This will make the nails easier to properly trim (see above).

– Shoes should fit properly – not too snug or too loose. It helps to consult with an expert (podiatrist) to determine proper fit.

– Don’t bite your nails, as this can transfer infectious bacteria between your fingers and mouth. Nail-biting can also damage the skin around your fingers, allowing infections to enter.

– Apply a moisturizer, especially after removing nail polish or any other product containing chemicals.

If you experience recurring nail problems, it is advisable to seek advice from a medical specialist. Dermatologists specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of skin, nails, and hair disorders.

How to Flush Kidney Stones Naturally With Just Four Ingredients

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What are kidney stones? And how is it possible to flush kidney stones naturally?

Kidney stones are a solid, crystal-like mineral material that forms within the kidney or urinary tract. Kidney stones are relatively uncommon. In fact, they occur in just one of every 20 people worldwide.

Kidney stones form when there is a decrease in the amount of urine produced and/or an excess of stone-forming substances in the urine. Relating to the former, dehydration is one of the leading causes of kidney stones.

Kidney stones are notoriously painful. When the stone moves around the ureter – the tube that connects the kidney and bladder – severe pain is often felt in the side and back, below the rib cage. The pain may then radiate to the lower abdomen and groin.

Nearly every kidney stone is passed from the kidney through the ureter and bladder through the urethra. Consuming plenty of fluids facilitates the passage of kidney stones, though most people find it necessary to take some type of prescription medication for pain control.

Other symptoms of kidney stones include: abnormal urine color, bloody urine (in some cases), chills, fever, and nausea.

Four ingredients that may help kidney stones

To begin with, you will need the following four ingredients:

– 2 cucumbers
– Some mint leaves
– 1 liter of water
– Natural, organic honey

toxic kidneys

Cucumbers contain multiple B-vitamins, including B1, B5, and B7 (biotin). B vitamins help ease anxiety and buffer some of the damaging effects of stress. Additionally, cucumbers contain plenty of fiber and water – two essential ingredients for healthy digestion.

Mint is a potent anti-inflammatory and also helps promote digestion. It’s also a natural nausea-reliever – and can help ease the stomach of gas and indigestion.

Honey provides relief from inflammation and moderate pain. Similar to cucumbers and mint, honey helps to promote healthy digestion as well. Honey is, of course, an excellent and healthy natural sweetener. It adds a nice flavor to the drink you’re going to prepare.

Water is a must-have ingredient, especially when fighting kidney stones. You should be drinking at least ten 12-ounce glasses of water per day until the stone passes. This recipe calls for a liter, which is approximately 34 ounces. Water helps dissolve the kidney stone and promotes urination – two things critical for kidney stone passage. Plenty of water will help flush out toxins and relieve the pain of kidney stones as well.

On that note, here are the instructions to make this kidney stone-relieving concoction:

– Put all of the ingredients in the blender (do not peel the cucumber.)
– Blend until the mix appears smooth and texturized.

It is recommended that you drink this mix after breakfast. Alternatively, you may serve yourself a glass 30 minutes before each main meal if the stone passage proves slow.

Kidney stone facts

Please keep this information about kidney stones in mind going forward:

– Calcium stones are, by far, the most prevalent type of kidney stones, and are caused by excessive salt intake and metabolic and/or urinary abnormalities.

– Dehydration, diet, family history, and obesity are the four primary risk factors.

– Low fluid intake and overconsuming animal products and/or salty foods increase the risk of developing kidney stones.

– Prevention is the best cure. To prevent a kidney stone from development, stay well hydrated, decrease salt intake, moderate calcium intake, and limit consumption of animal protein.

– Most kidney stones eventually pass through the urinary tract, on their own within 48 hours. Adequate fluid intake is essential to pass the stone within this timeframe.

– Over-the-counter (OTC) pain medications may not be effective against some stones. Injectable anti-inflammatory drugs and narcotics may be prescribed for pain control.

Psychologist Explains How To Release Emotional Attachments To Toxic Relationships

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Leaving toxic relationships can feel like both the best and worst moments of your life. The best because, well, you’re out of a relationship that sucked your soul dry. And the worst, because you have no idea where to go next.

“Loving yourself is the most important step in a relationship, and recognizing when to leave a relationship is the second. Relationships can consume a vast amount of our mental and emotional space, and when they go wrong, they can cause immeasurable pain,” says physician Kristen Fuller, M.D.

If you’re recently free of a long-term relationship that turned out to be utterly toxic, here are the best ways to put yourself back together.

Here Are Ten Ways To Release Emotions and Heal From Toxic Relationships

These tips can help you let go and restore your peace of mind.

toxic relationships

1. Get help!

Really, honestly. Get help. It doesn’t have to be a therapist, but once you’re free of a bad relationship, you’re going to want to find someone to help you deal with yourself. Maybe it’s your mom, or maybe it’s your best friend. You’re going to need a support system to get through the next few tumultuous months.

“People in toxic relationships need help from friends, family, and professionals to commit to change. There is no AA or NA for this. Changing is a process and not simply a decision,” adds Fuller. So even if you pride yourself on being a strong, independent woman, it’s time to text your bestie and ask for some support. You can thank me later.

2. Let yourself wallow outside of the toxic relationship

In the absolutely timeless words of Lorelai Gilmore: you have to wallow. Sure, you might be happy that the relationship is over, but feelings are way more complicated than that. When a relationship is over, trying to bounce back into your normal life isn’t the best solution. It’s totally okay, and recommended, to take a day or two over the weekend and eat an entire pint of chocolate ice cream while listening to the worst songs available on iTunes.

3. Okay, now stop wallowing

The wallowing stage needs to happen for a weekend, max. Then, it’s time to put on your big-kid pants and face the world again. You’re going to have many feelings to process, but it’s time to process them more healthily.

“Once you have given yourself four days of moping, it is time to cope. Sign up for community service, join a new yoga class, and go to brunch with your girlfriends … and plan your schedule out so that you are busy meeting new people and remembering how much fun life can be without your ex,” says celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, Alessandra Conti.

Letting yourself feel your emotions is important. However, you want to ensure you’re not letting them overwhelm you. Bad feelings happen, but there’s always a time to let them go and move on. Better yet, think of all the super cool things you can do with your newfound independence! Think positive.

toxic relationships

4. Find a new outlet for stress (other than toxic relationships)

The relationship is over, and now you’ve got all these feelings inside of you. Not good, right? Definitely not. But now is the time to find your brand-new stress outlet.

“Spend time with people who make you feel good, treat yourself to your favorite meal, go to church, spend time outside, or do whatever brings you joy. Going through a tough time in a relationship can cause incalculable stress: It’s important to try to replace those negative emotions with positivity,” adds Fuller.

Maybe you’re the type of person that really needs to write out all of your feelings. If so, buy yourself a brand-new journal, some fancy pens, and let her rip. Or, maybe you’re a more physical person. Taking up jogging or hitting the gym is probably a better way for you to burn off all those excess feelings.

5. Get out of your house and hang out with your friends

Seriously. How tempting is it to hang out by yourself after the end of a relationship in your apartment? If your friends know about the break-up, they’re probably already chomping at the idea of getting you back in the groove. So, take them up on their offer. Treat yourself to feeling good and surrounding yourself with friends. It’s part of the healing process, so don’t think you can skip it. Because you shouldn’t.

6. Let yourself have brand new experiences

At the end of a bad relationship, you can experience all kinds of new things that you otherwise wouldn’t have. Don’t let yourself chicken out. You’re on the cusp of a brand-new chapter of life!

“Often, people in dysfunctional relationships start to lose themselves, forget themselves, and their happiness is often no longer a priority,” says therapist Samantha Carbon.

Moving on and keeping yourself sane after a breakup practically requires trying new things, even if those new things are something as small as a drink you’ve never tried before. New experiences are going to keep you going for a while, so don’t turn them down.

7. Stop checking up on them! Stop it!

“Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.” – Travis Bradberry

Yes, it would be best if you stopped pulling up their Facebook profile.

“You are deluding yourself and wasting precious time if you believe that you can somehow still be friends or have a phone relationship with a toxic ex-partner. These people have a way of manipulating and getting others to feel sorry for them. If you keep contact going, then you enable this individual to continue to work to draw you back toward them,” says psychologist Jill Weber, Ph.D.

Quit sneaking peeks of their Instagram. Don’t peek at what is on their Twitter feed. Stop texting your mutual friends to see how they’re doing. The relationship is over, and unless it ended amicably and you’re both still friends, there’s no reason to keep snooping on your ex.

8. Embrace the fact that you’re now single

The world is your freaking oyster! Sure, you might not feel ready to hit the dating scene again for a couple of months, and that’s fine. But you’re single now, which opens up a whole new world of possibilities for you. It’s time to embrace it. Become the hot, single friend and enjoy it while it lasts.

9. Date, but casually

After you’ve embraced being the hot, single friend, it’s time to date. Casually, though. You don’t want to rush into another relationship or have someone you genuinely vibe with becoming a rebound. Dating casually and meeting new people may be the thing to help you feel like a normal human being, especially after the end of a rocky relationship. However, no problem if you’re not comfortable with dating just yet. Take your time and do what feels right for you. Remember, you come first.

10. Remember: you’re going to be okay

As cheesy as it sounds, you’re going to survive this.

“… the only way to heal from these types of relationships is to give yourself both space and time that you need to reevaluate the relationship in a healthy way to prevent repeating the same cycles,” says relationship expert and author Alexis Nicole White.

busy stress memeFinal Thoughts on Exiting Toxic Relationships

In the beginning, it may seem rough or even impossible. You will survive this. When the going gets tough, sometimes all you need to do is remind yourself that you’re going to be just fine. Because you will. Don’t believe me? Look at yourself in the mirror; what do you see? I see you with a fierce determination to succeed.

Harvard Psychologists Reveal: Parents Who Raise ‘Kind’ Kids Do These 5 Things…

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Parents are saddled with the difficult task of raising tiny humans. These tiny humans learn all kinds of things from their parents. Most importantly, though, children learn how to treat other people. Raising a child considered “kind” may seem easy, but many parents can tell you that it’s not always the case.

“Grades and athletic/artistic accomplishments matter, but most of us would agree raising kind kids matters more. If we spend our days drilling math facts and chauffeuring our kids to “enrichment activities,” it begs the question: What are we prioritizing most—and why,” adds Dr. Robin Berman.

Thankfully, Harvard psychologists have pinpointed the best ways to raise your child to be “kind”, and to retain that kindness throughout their lives.

Here Are 5 Things Parents Who Raise Kind Kids Do

kind

1. Be their role model

Nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. However, being a parent means your child will soak up information from you like a sponge. Especially during their formative years, children will look to you as a role model. To raise a kind child, knowing how to be “kind” is essential.

According to a study by Harvard University, “Being a role model doesn’t mean that we need to be perfect or have all the answers. It means grappling with our flaws, acknowledging our mistakes, listening to our children and students, and connecting our values to their ways of understanding the world.”

Being honest with your child, especially regarding difficult emotions, is one of the best ways to be a good role model. Children will learn their values and how they interact with the world from their parents.

2. Teach your children using empathy

When you’re teaching your child how to interact with the world, it can be hard for you to imagine how they see things. Children have all the same kind of emotions and feelings that adults have. However, they’re not fully prepared to express them yet. When you teach your child by using empathy, you can show them how to care for other people.

Kind children know how to connect with other people on a personal level. That connection involves being able to feel what other people feel. Show them how by empathizing with them first. “Unfortunately, selfie culture is not helping our children grow their highest or happiest selves. Studies show that the more we connect to others, the happier we are. So we need to make sure we are spending more time looking out, rather than looking at our own selfies,” says Dr. Berman.

things that make kids happy

3. Make caring for others important

As humans, we often make caring for ourselves the most important thing. And sometimes, that’s what we need to do to get through life. However, making caring for others an important part of their life will teach your children how to reach out to other people.

“With guidance from adults and practice, young people can also develop the skills and courage to know when and how to intervene in situations when they and others are imperiled. They can become effective “upstanders” or “first responders.”,” states the study from Harvard University.

Show your children that caring for others is important to you and will also become important to them. You will no doubt raise a child who thinks of others before themselves and works hard to ensure they’re being their best and kindest every day.

4. Help them process their emotions

Not all emotions are fun. Some emotions, like anger and frustration, can be difficult for children to understand. When children become upset, they need to be taught how to deal with those feelings. Children who aren’t taught tend to lash out physically – hitting, kicking, screaming. That kind of behavior doesn’t make for a “kind” child at all. Instead, Harvard psychologists say to focus on dealing with and healthily processing emotions.

“We need to teach children that all feelings are ok, but some ways of dealing with them are not helpful. Children need our help learning to cope with these feelings in productive ways,” add Harvard psychologists. Children need to learn that it’s okay to feel unpleasant emotions and how to handle them and let them go.

5. Praise one another consistently

“The power of mindful words can’t be overstated. Words can inflame or inspire. The diplomacy you teach will allow your kids to be heard in the future. It also feeds a gentler narrative in their head.” – Dr. Robin Berman

Praise and consistency are key to raising an emotionally well-rounded child. It’s also key to raising a kind child. Kindness comes from practice, and all practice requires consistency. When your child does something kind, make sure you recognize and acknowledge it. Praise them for their kindness so they know they’re on the right track. Don’t just do it with your children, either!

Parents should praise one another for kindness, because your tiny humans are always listening. Get the rest of the adults in your child’s life to get on board, too. The more they see adults being kind, recognizing it, and reinforcing it with praise and thanks, the more they’ll learn.

Final thoughts

Kindness is something that children have to learn – like manners, please and thank you, right and wrong, and empathy. Learning kindness becomes easier when their parents are on board and know how to instill kindness into their children. If you’re worried about bringing your child up in a way that helps them be “kind”, here are the ways other parents did it. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, though! Just know how to correct them – because your child is always learning.

How Child Abuse Affects The Brain: Scientists Explain What Happens To Your Brain When You Suffered From Child Abuse

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Child abuse is one of the toughest, most gut-wrenching things to talk about. The word ‘cruel’ doesn’t begin to describe the mentality necessary to inflict harm on an innocent child.

Yet, discussing the psychological ramifications of child abuse is an absolute must. This is particularly true in a society that insists we “pick ourselves up by our bootstraps” and simply “move on.” Many adults’ pleas have fallen on deaf ears, as mental health benefits in healthcare plans continue to decrease across both the private and public sectors.

So, we’re doing our own small part. In this article, we’re going to discuss how child abuse affects brain wiring into adulthood. Please share this article and help get the word out if you believe the information contained within will do some good. (Thank you!)

Here’s how child abuse changes the brain as an adult:

Alterations to the ACC

Per a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, long-lasting effects of traumatic childhood experiences – including child abuse – strongly correlate with impairment to the structure and function of the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC).

The ACC is one part of the brain that plays an imperative role in regulating emotions, impulses, and mood. Researchers believe that these changes to the ACC result in the manifestation of depressive disorders and suicidal ideations.

Myelin Abnormalities of the Abused

The rapid messaging that takes place between regions of the brain is astonishing in its complexity. Billions of neurons (brain cells) transmit nerve impulses within a split second.

Many of these electrical signals must travel long distances to communicate with neurons in other brain regions. The long axons (threadlike nerve cells) are protected by a fatty coating called myelin. Besides safeguarding the axon, this fatty sheath also assists the axons in conducting electrical signals more efficiently.

Myelin develops rapidly during childhood, continuing to mature into early adulthood. Post-mortem microscopic imaging reveals significant abnormalities in the myelinated nerve fibers of people who committed suicide and had a history of severe childhood abuse.

childhood trauma

Impaired Neural Connectivity

Of the three groups of individuals studied, only those who suffered from child abuse showed reduced myelin coating. Additionally, the research team discovered molecular alterations that affect the development and maintenance of myelin.

These changes, scientists speculate, may alter the functional communication between the cortical (“cover”) and subcortical (“underneath”) areas of the brain. Perhaps most notably, this communication includes that between the nucleus accumbens, the amygdala, and the prefrontal cortex (PFC).

The nucleus accumbens and the amygdala are areas of the brain linked to emotional regulation and to reward and satisfaction, respectively. If these subcortical areas are damaged, as seems to be the case with at least some victims of child abuse, it may very well lead to altered emotional processing (e.g., difficulty understanding emotions.)

The Impact

For the first time, researchers have been able to see changes in the neural structures in specific areas of the brains of people who suffered severe abuse as children. ~ Katherine Gombay, McGill University

As mentioned, this research (conducted by scientists at McGill University in Quebec, Canada) is the first of its kind. For years, psychologists, neurologists, neuroscientists, and other experts have posited that child abuse alters the natural development of a child’s brain. Finally, advances in brain imaging technology have all but proven that these changes are indeed real.

Estimates place the prevalence of severe childhood abuse somewhere between 5-15 percent of children aged 15 or younger. Psychiatric difficulties associated with severe childhood abuse include an increased risk of depression and anxiety, as well as higher levels of aggressiveness and impulsivity. Tragically, victims of child abuse are much more likely to commit suicide.

The McGill University research study shows that physiological and functional changes in the brain as a result of child abuse are possible – if not inevitable. As with any study of this magnitude, scientists will attempt to replicate its findings and draw their conclusions.

As for the rest of us, may we find this information to be helpful to someone. “Spreading the word” about anything that may change a life is a kind and honorable act.

While we’re at it, we hope that the results of this (and similar) brain research penetrate the bureaucracy of public and private institutions in charge of supervising public health, including the upper echelons of government. Individuals who ultimately make decisions about public healthcare – including resource allocation for mental health purposes – should be held accountable.

Child Abuse Resources

Per helpguide.org, here is a list of child abuse hotlines:

US or Canada: 1-800-422-4453 (Childhelp)
UK: 0800 1111 (NSPCC Childline)
Australia: 1800 688 009 (CAPS)
New Zealand: 0800-543-754 (Kidsline)
Other international helplines: Child Helpline International (www.childhelplineinternational.org)

Help for child sexual abuse:

1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) – Stop It Now
1-800-656-HOPE – Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
Or visit ChiWorld.org for a list of other international child helplines.

If you think that a child is being abused, please contact your local law enforcement agency and file a report.

Sources:
https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp.2017.16111286?code=ajp-site
https://www.mcgill.ca/newsroom/channels/news/child-abuse-affects-brain-wiring-270024

10 Habits of Couples That Stay Madly In Love

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We all know that relationships are a lot of work. In the beginning, everything seems so easy. The honeymoon period fades, though, and relationships become more about communication and compromise. Not all couples will be together forever, but many can overcome the years. Couples who stay in love for years practice some of the same core habits.

Here Are 10 Habits of Couples Who Stay Madly in Love

love

1. Love Requires Communication

This is truly the golden rule for couples staying madly in love. Good communication is key for every relationship, strong ones. Being able to talk to your partner will significantly improve your relationship.

But, there’s a huge difference between communication and conversing with your partner. Author and philanthropist Tony Robbins says, “People often confuse communication for talking or making conversation, and this is the root cause of why many of these same people are so unsuccessful in communicating with their partners. Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs.”

In this statement, Tony Robbins highlights the critical nature of understanding that communication in relationships is not just about talking or making conversation but about connecting with your partner and fulfilling their needs. He suggests that many people fail to communicate effectively with their partners because they misunderstand the true purpose of communication in a relationship.

According to Robbins, effective communication requires verbal, written, and physical skills. This means that communication in relationships is not just limited to verbal communication. It also includes nonverbal cues such as body language, touch, and facial expressions. It also includes written communication, such as text messages or love letters.

Effective communication involves creating a deeper connection with your partner and understanding their needs. This involves actively listening to your partner and expressing your needs and desires in a way your partner can understand.

Robbins emphasizes that successful communication in relationships requires a willingness to be vulnerable and to share your emotions and feelings with your partner. This means being honest about your thoughts and feelings, even admitting fault or displaying vulnerability.

Open and honest communication is a habit that every couple should have, especially if you want your relationship to last.

2. Say “I love you” … a Lot

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

For some people, saying “I Iove you” is incredibly meaningful. That means they don’t want to cheapen the words by saying them too often. But saying “I love you” too much, is much better than not saying it enough.

Professor and author Terri Orbuch, Ph.D. states, “Saying and doing small, simple expressions of gratitude every day yields big rewards. When people feel recognized as special and appreciated, they’re happier in that relationship and more motivated to make the relationship better and stronger.”

Orbuch highlights the importance of expressing gratitude in relationships. She suggests that small, simple expressions of gratitude can significantly impact the happiness and satisfaction of both partners in the relationship.

Orbuch argues that when people feel recognized and appreciated for their efforts, they are more likely to feel happier in the relationship and more motivated to make it stronger. This is because expressing gratitude helps to foster a sense of connection and intimacy between partners, creating a positive emotional bond.

Don’t be afraid to express your love for your partner whenever you feel it. Couples who stay in love for years express their love often.

3. Be Kind to One Another

Teasing and jokes are okay, but don’t take things too far. If you know that there’s something that your partner is sensitive about, don’t try to tease them about it. Being kind can go a long way.

“Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to assure a loving, intimate relationship. Kindness and having your partner’s back are essential,” says psychotherapist, counselor, and the author, Judy Ford. Couples with a love that lasts for years are always kind to one another. Being kind is how you build understanding and trust.

According to Ford, being an effective partner involves being attentive to your partner’s needs and feelings and responding in kind and supportive way. This means showing empathy, understanding, and compassion towards your partner, even when you may disagree with their perspective.

Having your partner’s back means being a loyal and supportive ally, standing up for your partner, and supporting them through both good times and bad. It means being there for your partner, listening to their concerns, and offering practical help and emotional support when needed.

Ford argues that these qualities are essential for building a strong and healthy relationship because they create both partners’ sense of safety and security. When both partners can rely on each other for emotional support, they are more likely to feel connected and committed to the relationship.

difficult times in relationships

4. Make Time for One Another

Even when you’re busy with work or school, always make time to be with one another. “No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making “play dates” and also taking downtime together,” says psychologist Lynda Klau, PhD.

Life can get in the way, but couples who have strong and long-lasting relationships always put one another first. Even if it’s only an hour to meet for lunch, having time to see one another and connect is essential.

5. Forgiveness

Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all human. Even couples madly in love make mistakes and accidentally hurt one another’s feelings. However, couples who make their relationship last always know how to forgive one another. Forgiveness can help heal many cracks in a relationship and strengthen it.

6. Love Means Compromise

Another staple of any strong relationship is compromised. Things can’t always be done the exact way you want them to. Knowing how to compromise with your partner will keep you both sane when that happens.

Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey says, “… compromise is part of a relationship. When you get two people merging and sharing their lives, communication isn’t the only necessary skill to navigate all that and stay happy together…compromise is a big part of it too.”

Being able to concede on some things is part of growing up. It is also part of keeping your relationship good and strong.

7. Enjoy the Moment

Stress can build quickly if you’re always looking toward the future. Stress can also cause a lot of strain on a relationship. Couples who have strong relationships always make sure to take some time and enjoy being in the moment. Appreciate the time that you have together, and your love will last for years.

8. Take Time for Yourself

As much as you love spending time with your partner, you must always make time for yourself. Do the things that you love, and make time for your hobbies. Couples who have strong relationships always take time to make themselves strong, too.

“There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment. When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner,” says relationship expert and author Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

A relationship should be two individual people coming together.

9. Listen to Each Other

And that means really listening! Don’t just hear them – listen to what they have to say. Couples with solid and lasting relationships commit to listening to one another daily. This builds companionship between both partners, as well as trust and affection.

When couples listen to each other, they demonstrate their commitment to the relationship and show that they value their partner’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Listening also creates an environment of mutual respect and understanding, which is essential for building trust and intimacy.

Through listening, couples can learn more about each other, their hopes, fears, and dreams. They can gain insight into each other’s perspectives, which can help them to navigate conflicts and challenges in the relationship more effectively.

10. Support Each Other

As a couple, you are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. You’re also the first line regarding being one another’s support system.

“Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition,” says couples and marriage counselor Keith Flynn BSc, Dip. Hyp.

Couples with long-lasting relationships support each other. Even when things get tough, being there for one another will keep your love strong.

love

Final Thoughts on Couples Who Stay Madly in Love

Strong and long-lasting relationships are entirely possible. They take a little bit of work and effort. Both partners should commit to these everyday habits to make their relationship last for years. Couples who have been madly in love for years always make sure to be attentive to one another’s needs and to practice good, healthy habits.

10 Behaviors Successful Women Display Without Realizing It

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Success comes in many forms. Being successful means setting your own goals, and following through. Successful women don’t just wake up one morning and achieve their dreams. It takes effort and commitment. But, the most successful women do have habits that they follow. These are habits that anyone can pick up.

If you’re looking to find success in your life, take a look at how other women achieve their goals.

Here Are 10 Habits Of Successful Women

“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.” – Anne Sweeney

1. Educate yourself

Successful women make a habit of educating themselves as much as possible. This doesn’t always mean academic knowledge. Successful women know practical knowledge. She makes sure to ask questions and find answers for herself.

“You’ll get mentally stronger and wiser the more knowledge you accrue. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut, either mental or physical. Be curious, aware, and informed about the world,” states Wiki How. Even after you’ve finished school, there’s always more learning to do.

2.Set goals and follow through

Setting goals can be a little overwhelming at first. Successful women practice setting small goals and following through with them. Once goal setting and following through becomes a habit, you can start setting larger goals and know the steps to achieve them. Successful women become successful by following through with their goals, big or small.

3. Keep lists

Lists are a lifesaver for the successful woman. Professional keynote speaker Neen James shares that, “My #1 daily success habit professionally is investing 15 minutes every morning to identify my top 3 not negotiable activities for completion today. I do it every day and write it on a post it note that says ‘Today I will …’ and list my three.”

Writing lists can help with setting goals, but it can also help keep you organized. Good organization is part of every successful women’s habits. Getting organized is one of the very first, and most crucial, steps for success.

4. Stay socially connected

Having a support system is important to the successful woman. Friends and family are important to keep you on track in life. They can help manage stress, and be a sounding board for all of the things in life that overwhelm you. Being successful doesn’t require cutting yourself off from other people. In fact, being connected to other people is going to make success far more likely.

success quote

5. Have a schedule

Even your downtime should be scheduled. To be successful, you should always have something to do with your day. Make sure that every hour of your day is blocked off. Then, stick to it. Successful women always know what their day is going to look like the night before. They also always remember to schedule a time to decompress and relax.

Time management expert and author Laura Vanderkam says, “People seem to have this idea that having a full-time job leaves no space for many other things, but clearly that’s not true. It is quite possible to have a more than full-time job and have a very full personal life, too. It’s just a matter of where that time goes.”

6. Challenge yourself

Every day is a new opportunity to challenge yourself and overcome it. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Successful women are always striving to challenge themselves in one way or another. It’s one of the best ways to get better. Don’t be afraid of not overcoming the challenge. The most important thing is that you tried.

7. Manage stress

Success means knowing how to manage stress. Successful author Ciara Conlon states that, “My life takes on a different pace and energy when I stick to my daily meditation habit, I have more clarity and focus and I am able to manage the daily stresses of life much more effectively.”

Successful women have all kinds of healthy coping mechanisms when it comes to staying stress-free. Whether that means meditation, going to the gym, yoga, journaling or something else – staying on top of your stress and managing it well is integral to being a successful woman.

8. Try something new

Successful women don’t stay in the same rut. To become successful, they actively have to step outside of their comfort zone. “Underestimating yourself and playing it safe hold you back from success. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you often can go beyond the imaginable,” says president for Lead from Within, Lolly Daskal.

Trying something new will make you more comfortable with stepping outside of that comfort zone. Start small: go somewhere new for lunch, and try something you’ve never had before. Before you know it, you’ll be applying for your dream job without any fear.

9. Don’t compare yourself to other women

Other women are not your competition. In fact, other women can be vital to your success. Successful women know this, and they know the power of female friendship and companionship.

“Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Jealousy and resentment suck the life right out of you; they’re massive energy-stealers. Instead of wasting your energy on jealousy, funnel that energy into appreciation. When you celebrate the success of other people, you both benefit,” adds Dr. Travis Bradberry.

A successful woman never compares herself to another woman in her life. She knows that we’re all on our own paths in life, and some take different roads than others to get to where they’re going.

10. Be kind

Successful women know that the best way to connect with people is with kindness. That connection will contribute to your success in so many ways. Not only will it build a network of people who can help you become successful, it will build emotional connections as well.

“In the business of our busy lives we neglect many of the basic concept of recognition but gratitude gives us fortitude. Gratitude can transform any common day into a thanks giving day and turn routine jobs onto joy and change ordinary opportunities into something we get grateful about,” adds Daskal.

Kindness truly is a virtue and one that brings success to women in all walks of life.

Final thoughts

Success is more than just having money, or doing well at your job. Those can be part of success, but success is about your habits. Successful women know that these habits will serve them well throughout their life.

References:
https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Mentally-and-Emotionally-Strong
https://www.developgoodhabits.com/daily-success-habit/
https://www.businessinsider.in/13-ways-successful-women-make-the-most-of-their-time/They-plan-their-toughest-tasks-for-early-in-the-morning-/slideshow/47603972.cms
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/11-habits-of-mentally-strong-people_us_58efd4a7e4b04cae050dc5bd

13 Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Your Brain and Body

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If you have trouble falling asleep at night or wake up frequently, you likely have sleep deprivation. It is essential to learn to overcome the lack of sleep because it drastically affects your brain and body. It does much more than make you feel groggy and grumpy.

You should aim for at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night, even on the weekends. If you go for long periods getting less than that, you will experience a lack of sleep and its many effects. It depletes your mental abilities and poses a risk for your physical health.

Whether you have a sleep disorder or struggle with racing thoughts at night, anything that prevents you from getting rest is a problem. Your body requires sleep just as much as nutrients and water. Resting time depends on restoring chemical balances and promoting healing and immunity.

Thirteen Effects of Sleep Deprivation

Some of the signs of sleep deprivation include excessive sleepiness, frequent yawning, irritability, and daytime fatigue. If you experience any symptoms, make a lifestyle change immediately to reduce the effects. So what happens when you don’t get enough sleep? Take a look at these adverse consequences of sleep deprivation.

sleep deprivation1. Sleep Deprivation Causes Memory Issues

Chronic insomnia can disrupt your central nervous system’s ability to function correctly. Research shows that a brain event called sharp-wave ripples is responsible for retaining memories.

The sharp wave ripples transfer learning information and memories from the hippocampus to the neocortex. These ripples occur during the deepest levels of sleep, which occur during a full sleep cycle.

2. Sleep Deprivation Can Cause Trouble Concentrating

Sleep is critical for thinking and learning, and you will find it difficult to concentrate with a lack of sleep. Lack of sleep harms your cognitive processes by impairing attention, alertness, concentration, reasoning, and problem-solving.  These impairments make it harder to focus, learn, and retain information.

3. Sleep Deprivation Can Cause Mood Swings

Sleep deprivation negatively impacts your mental and emotional state. You’ll experience mood swings and feel impatient about everything. Plus, it makes you feel irritable and hinders your ability to cope with difficult emotions and stress.

4. Sleep Deprivation Compromises Your Immune System

Your immune system produces antibodies and cytokines while you sleep. These substances provide protection, fight infection, and combat bacteria and viruses.

Some cytokines also promote sleep health, which further boosts your immune system. Without adequate sleep, your body cannot produce enough cytokines for normal functioning. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body can’t fight off invaders, and it will take longer to recover from illness.

5. Sleep Deprivation Can Increase Your Blood Pressure

When you sleep, normal blood pressure drops by 10-20%. This drop is called nocturnal dipping, and those that don’t experience it tend to have hypertension. Poor sleep or nighttime disruptions are linked to blood pressure that doesn’t drop at night.

Lack of nocturnal blood pressure has a more severe effect on the heart than hypertension during the day. It can also cause kidney problems and reduced blood flow to your brain.

Additionally, sleep deprivation can cause high blood pressure during the day too. Hypertension due to lack of sleep effects is most likely to affect middle-aged adults. Additionally, it often affects those who work long hours in high-stress jobs.

6. Sleep Deprivation Can Cause an Increased Risk of Diabetes

Research shows that people with no diabetes risk factors went into a pre-diabetic state after only one week of inadequate sleep. The researchers attribute the increased risk of diabetes to an overactive central nervous system. When the system is overactive, it affects the amount of insulin your pancreas produces to regulate glucose levels.

Additionally, when you don’t get enough sleep, your body doesn’t process glucose efficiently either. So, even if your body produces it, you can’t use it properly. The longer you experience a lack of sleep, the more your risk of diabetes increases.

7. Sleep Deprivation Can Lead to Weight Gain

According to research, people that sleep less than six hours each day are nearly 30% more likely to become obese. Sleep deprivation can cause weight gain for a few different reasons. First, it affects the levels of hormones leptin and ghrelin that control feelings of hunger and fullness.

Leptin signals your brain when you’ve eaten enough, but your leptin levels decrease when you haven’t had enough sleep. Your brain doesn’t receive the signal, and you continue eating even after you should have stopped. Lack of sleep raises ghrelin levels, stimulating your appetite and leading to unnecessary snacking.

Another reason lack of sleep causes weight gain is that it makes you too tired to exercise. You won’t have the energy to be active and burn calories or build muscle mass.

sleep deprivation8. Sleep Deprivation Increases Your Risk for Developing Cardiovascular Diseases

Sleep is essential for keeping your heart and blood vessels healthy. It affects your blood sugar, blood pressure, and inflammation levels. Getting enough sleep is also vital for healing and repairing blood vessels and the heart.

Studies show a link between insomnia and heart attack or stroke. It shows that people who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease. Lack of sleep increases your risk of the following issues:

  • heart attack
  • irregular heartbeat
  • heart disease
  • stroke
  • heart failure

9. Sleep Deprivation Lowers Your Libido

People who lack sleep experience lower libido and less interest in sex. This issue stems from depleted energy and increased tension, and it is accurate for men and women.

Men with sleep apnea have another reason for a lowered libido sleep deprivation. Studies show they also have low testosterone levels, affecting their sex drive.

10. Sleep Deprivation Affects Your Gait and balance

Research indicates that people with sleep disturbances experience worse balance and gait function. One study of 20 people with no previous history of sleep issues or balance impairments showed that lack of sleep affects balance and posture control.

The participants with deteriorating sleep quantity and quality experienced gait and balance changes. The people that didn’t experience sleep interruptions or deprivation experienced no changes.

11. Sleep Deprivation Makes You Prone to Accidents

Sleep deprivation is dangerous because it can play a role in major accidents. When you’re in a vehicle, it poses a threat to you and the public.

Research shows that driving without sleep is comparable to driving drunk as it slows your reaction time. It is the cause of about 100,000 vehicle crashes and 1,550 crash-related deaths each year.

Driving isn’t the only time a lack of sleep can lead to accidents. You can experience more accidents and injuries on the job when you haven’t had enough sleep, too.

Additionally, the signals your body sends to your brain will likely be delayed when you’re exhausted. When this happens, it decreases your coordination and increases your risk of having an accident.

12. Sleep Deprivation Increases Your Risk for Depression

Lack of sleep can contribute to depression. Studies show that people with depression tend to get less than six hours of sleep each night. Sleep deprivation makes you five times more likely to develop depression; if you already have it, the symptoms will worsen.

Not getting enough sleep and depression create an endless cycle as they feed on one another. Lack of sleep aggravates depression symptoms, and depression results in less sleep. You might have to treat both issues to find an effective remedy.

13. Sleep Deprivation Can Increase the Aging Process

You’ll experience unhealthy skin coloring and puffy eyes when you don’t get enough sleep. Additionally, it causes dry skin, fine lines, and dark circles under your eyes. These appearance changes can make you look older and increase the aging process as your body can’t heal itself due to lack of sleep.

Without enough sleep, your body releases excess cortisol, a stress hormone. Increased cortisol levels break down the skin collagen, otherwise known as the protein that keeps skin smooth and flexible.

Additionally, lack of sleep causes a deficiency of human growth hormones. This hormone is essential for increasing muscle mass, thickening skin, and strengthening bones. When you don’t have enough, it speeds up the aging process, causing irreversible damage.

How To Treat Sleep Deprivation

Treating sleep deprivation is easy if you can plan on getting more high-quality sleep. Some treatment options include these behaviors:

  • getting seven to nine hours of sleep each night
  • treating sleep disorders
  • don’t try to force yourself to sleep
  • get out of bed and do something relaxing for a while
  • try reverse psychology
  • implement a consistent bedtime routine
  • set a time for worry so that you don’t worry at bedtime
  • get tasks in order and write down everything that comes to mind
  • focus on positive thinking
  • listen to calming music
  • play a relaxing audiobook or podcast
  • use white noise
  • try new relaxation methods
  • practice breathing exercises
  • meditate
  • try progressive muscle relaxation
  • do yoga
  • acknowledge your thoughts and recognize irrationalities
  • write in a journal

sleep deprivationFinal Thoughts on Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Your Brain and Body

Many people struggle to get enough sleep, and the effects on your brain and body are detrimental. Alleviating sleep deprivation can help you take control of your health and feel better overall.

Don’t ignore your lack of sleep and assume there won’t be long-term effects. Remember the effects of lack of sleep on your brain and body and find ways to fall asleep easier.

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