Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

10 Ways To Learn How To Respect Yourself

Self-respect is often something that is learned and shaped through our individual experiences. This can mean that before we’ve figured it out, we often go against our own beliefs, feelings and convictions for the sake of others. It can leave us feeling worn out and disrespected.

It can also mean putting forth more emotional labor than we receive, which can mean imbalanced relationships. Learning self-respect, and more importantly, learning how to say no, can change your entire worldview, and make you a more positive and assertive person.

Here Are 10 Ways You Can Start to Respect Yourself – You Deserve It

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” – M. Scott Peck

1. Focus on yourself and start loving yourself

Learning to love yourself can be just as tricky as learning self-respect, but it’s the first step in the process. Focus on loving yourself rather than tearing yourself down, or putting other people’s needs before your own, even when it hurts you. That self-love is going to be the building block for your self-respect.

2. Trust your intuition and follow your gut

If you get a bad feeling about a person or situation, follow your gut. Intuition is a survival technique that all humans have. When we ignore our gut instincts, it can lead to bad decisions.

According to author Michael Pratt, “It turns out intuition isn’t always bad and there are conditions where it is a good way to make the right decision. What we found demystifies a lot of the information out there that says intuition isn’t as effective as if you sat down and walked through an analytical approach.”

Learning to respect your intuition can help you on the way to learning how to respect yourself and learning when to say “No.” 9 times out of 10, your gut is speaking to you, and your instinct is right.

3. Change the way you talk about yourself

Imagine that you’re talking about yourself the way you would talk about a friend. Would you make constant, disparaging and negative remarks about someone that you care deeply about? No! Learning to talk about yourself in a positive manner, even when things are going wrong or when you make mistakes, means that you’ll learn to love and respect yourself. The best way to do this is to always talk about yourself as if you were talking about a cherished loved one.

4. Learn to say “No” when necessary

According to author Susan Newman, “You won’t be able to say no to everything asked of you, nor will you want to, but you don’t have to be an ever-accommodating yes person to be loved, respected and admired.”

If you don’t want to do something, can’t do something, or know that doing it will cause you significant distress, it’s okay to say “No”! Practice saying it out loud and get used to the sound of the word, so that it no longer causes anxiety. Having boundaries is another important step to self-respect. If someone doesn’t respect your “No”, then they’re not worth your help in the first place.

5. Remove toxic people from your life no matter how difficult it can be

It can be difficult to cut people out, especially if they’ve been important to you in the past. However, learning to have self-respect means that toxic people have got to go. Toxicity is only going to hinder your journey to self-respect. There’s a good chance that those people didn’t respect you in the first place, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who bring positive things to your life.

6. Stick to your own moral code no matter what people think

You don’t have to drink, smoke or party if you don’t want to. Set your own moral code, and stick to it! As long as you’re not hurting anyone or yourself, you’re not obligated to break your morals for anyone else. The people who don’t respect your choices aren’t the kind of people you want to be around, anyway. Sticking to your convictions is the best way to practice self-respect.

7. Learn how to handle your emotions without falling apart

Yes, even the negative emotions. All emotions are good, both positive and negative ones. The key is to allowing yourself to feel and process these emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Learn to cry and release those negative feelings without wallowing in them. Handling your emotions doesn’t mean hiding them. It’s okay to open up and feel the full spectrum of emotions that life has to offer.

8. Never settle for less. You don’t deserve it!

You deserve the best life that you can possibly live, so learn to respect yourself by never settling for less than you deserve. If your partner doesn’t treat you right, then you don’t have to stay with them. If your job undermines your intelligence and skills, find someplace better. Life doesn’t have to be just good enough. You deserve to be living the best life possible.

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9. Learn to forgive yourself and others

Allowing yourself to harbor negative feelings will only leave to more toxicity. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes is important to self-respect, because you don’t deserve to constantly berate yourself. You’re so much more than your past mistakes. Forgiving others means that you’ll be able to release those emotions you’ve been holding onto and move on. Professor of Psychology Dr. Everett Worthington rightly mentions, “I’d like people to know that there are documented physical benefits, mental health benefits, relationship benefits, and sometimes spiritual benefits to forgiving.”

10. Remember: honesty is the best policy

This means you have to be honest with both yourself and the people around you. When you’re capable of being honest, it shows that you love yourself enough not to hide the truth of how you feel or what you want. The more honest you are, the more self-respect you’ll have. Of course, this isn’t to say that you should be blunt or mean. Honesty in a positive way that honors your feelings is the key.

Practicing these tricks every day can help you build up your self-respect. Everyone deserves to have their feelings and thoughts honored and respected. It’s hard for other people to do so, if we don’t honor and respect ourselves first. Though it may feel difficult, it isn’t nearly as impossible and it seems. After all: you deserve it!

There Are Hormones In The Plant Food You Eat – Should You Worry?

What are gut microbes? And how can the plant foods you eat impact them?

Gut microbes, or gut flora, are microorganisms that live in our digestive tract. Gut flora also resides in the gut of many other animals, including insects.

When you hear or see the term “healthy bacteria” – the odds are that gut flora are being discussed. These bacteria, collectively termed the microbiome, are critical to our health. Scientists from the University of Navarra (Spain), summarize the crucial role of these bacteria:

“Gut microbiota (have) a key role in health and opens unique opportunities for the identification of new (diseases and treatments) for each individual,” on the flip-side, “(Changes) in gut (flora) composition have been associated with plenty disorders.”

Disrupting the delicate balance of the microbiome has been linked to many serious health condition such as cancer. Obesity, which is now considered an epidemic in many countries (including by certain health agencies in the U.S.), is also among the conditions related to an altered microbiome.

There Are Hormones In The Plant Food You Eat – Should You Worry?

“A bowl of salad contains more than vitamins and minerals. Plant matter also includes remnants of the hormones plants produce to control how they grow, age, and manage water intake. Recently, scientists have reported that our gut microbes and cells may respond to these hormones and even produce similar molecules of their own.” ~ Clanclud et. al “How humans and their gut microbes may respond to plant hormones.”

What do plants have to do with it?

Until quite recently, plants didn’t have anything to do with it; or so most microbiologists and other experts thought.

As it turns out, plants do influence our gut bacteria. Although the precise mechanisms of this effect are a bit unclear – and can appear contradictory.

Here’s an example of the complexity of plant-human-microbe interactions: one hormone found in plants, called abscisic acid (or ABA) “alerts the plant to drought conditions, (but) can worsen inflammation.”

Obviously, we want plants – which serve as the primary food source for millions of people – to thrive; for this to happen, plants must be able to survive harsh conditions. ABA hormones sustain vegetation in dry areas, which is a great thing. However, ABA causes an inflammatory response in humans.

Then there are gibberellic acids (GAs); another different type of plant hormone that reduces inflammation.

This opposing effect on our body has some scientists concerned that “synthesis of (GAs and ABA) hormones could be responsible for their complicated and contradictory impact on inflammatory diseases.

People eat GA-rich foods, such as whole grains and spinach, for their anti-inflammatory properties. Even ABA-rich foods, such as apples, apricots, carrots, and sweet potatoes have shown to help alleviate diabetes in some cases.

Getting back to obesity

The hypothesis that certain plant hormones can complicate inflammation is a cause for concern. Obese people usually test for high inflammation “markers.”

Above all else, uncovering the link between plant hormones and higher inflammation is a predominant concern of scientists.

 “The economic and health costs of obesity and its comorbidities such as fatty liver, insulin resistance/diabetes, or cardiovascular events (heart attack, stroke) are considerable.”

More research will soon occur

It must be restated that scientists aren’t quite sure about the exact means by which plant hormones interact with our microbiome. Measuring microbial activity in the human body is a tough thing.

One possible explanation for this relationship is the similarities in molecular shapes between plant hormones and metabolites. Dr. Benoit Lacombe, a biochemist at one of France’s leading research institutions, says:

“The most likely explanation is that plant hormones are structurally related to some metabolites in animals, including humans,” Lacombe says, “Maybe you take aspirin, for example, to stop pain and inflammation — the aspirin molecule looks a lot like the salicylic acid molecule, which as a hormone does many things for plants.”

weight loss - plant

Plant foods are still very healthy (probably!)

So here’s what the majority of scientists say: plant foods are healthy. In fact, a plant-based diet might even be the healthiest of all.

There are excellent reasons to have plenty of faith in our leafy edibles. One only needs to read through the list of health benefits. In fact, dietitians, nutritionists, and doctors extol the many reasons to eat this way.

So, while the words “plant hormones” and “inflammation” may provoke a bit of a scare, it’s important to remember we’ve eaten vegan for a very long time.

The most plausible explanation may be, that while certain hormones in certain plants may increase inflammation, we’ve probably adapted to any adverse effects.

“We have evolved in an environment including plants and microbes while consuming plant hormones,” says Dr. Emilie Chanclud. “We have IAA and ABA in our body, and even if we don’t know where they come from, we may have evolved ways to respond to them over time.”

Science Explains The Right Way to Get Pesticides Off of Your Fruit

Have you ever heard of thiabendazole? (“Oh, of course,” said no one.) This thiabendazole is a fungicide, pesticide, and parasiticide; it kills fungi, pesticides, and parasites. Oh, and it’s on your fruit and veggies. Isn’t that delightful?

It’s also one of the chemicals tested in the study we will talk about. Now, pesticides are essential in preserving food; without them, all of the fruits and veg at your local grocer (besides organic products) would be less than safe to eat. Wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Of course not. But we sure don’t want random chemicals on our food when we eat it, correct? So what do we do? Let’s get into that a little bit.

If you’re like most, you splash water on your apple, pear, peach, or whatever before digging in. To your (and mine’s) credit, a quick rinse is better than doing nothing – but not by much.

That’s because pesticides are a pain in the butt to clean off, as you will discover shortly.

The Dangers of Pesticides to People and the Environment

Pesticides are chemicals. The agriculture industry uses them to control pests and diseases that can harm crops. While they can effectively increase yields and prevent crop losses, pesticides pose several dangers to human health and the environment.  Here are eleven potential dangers of pesticides on your fruit and vegetables:

pesticides

1. Health risks of pesticides:

Pesticides have harmful effects on human health. In extreme cases, these chemicals can cause skin and eye irritation, headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and even death. Prolonged exposure can lead to chronic health problems such as cancer, congenital disabilities, neurological disorders, and reproductive problems.

2. Environmental damage:

Pesticides can also have harmful effects on the environment. They can contaminate soil, water, and air, leading to the destruction of habitats and the loss of biodiversity. Pesticides can also poison beneficial insects, birds, and other animals, disrupting the balance of ecosystems.

3. Pesticides leave esidue on food:

The chemicals can leave residue on fruits and vegetables even after they are washed or peeled. These residues can be toxic and accumulate in the body over time, leading to long-term health problems. Keep reading–we will shortly share the research on how to remove them.

4. Antibiotic resistance:

Some formulas contain antibiotics that might contribute to the development of antibiotic-resisting bacteria, making it more difficult to treat infections in humans.

5. Pesticides may harm farmers:

Farmers who work with chemicals are at risk of exposure and can suffer from acute and chronic health problems. They may also be at risk of developing respiratory problems, skin disorders, and other occupational hazards.

6. Contamination of groundwater:

Pesticides can seep into groundwater and contaminate water supplies. That can pose a significant health risk to humans and animals that depend on these water sources.

7. Toxicity to non-target organisms:

Pesticides kill pests. But they can also harm non-target organisms such as bees, butterflies, birds, and small mammals. They can have a ripple effect on the entire ecosystem.

8. Soil degradation:

The chemicals can harm beneficial microorganisms in the soil, leading to soil degradation and reduced soil fertility. This can result in lower crop yields and the need for even more pesticides to maintain productivity.

9. Chemical resistance:

Pests can develop resistance to pesticides over time, making them less effective in controlling pest populations. They can lead to the need for even more potent pesticides, which can harm human and environmental health.

10. Human error:

Improper handling and application of these potent chemicals can lead to accidents, spills, and other incidents that can harm people and the environment. It can also lead to the contamination of food and water supplies.

11. Regulatory loopholes:

Some pesticides may be approved for use even though they have never been tested for their effects on humanity and the environment. That can lead to the widespread use of potentially dangerous chemicals that could have unforeseen consequences.

While pesticides can be beneficial in the short term for crop protection, their long-term effects can pose significant dangers to human health and the environment. It is essential to use pesticides judiciously and explore alternative methods of pest control that minimize their risks.

pesticides

Here’s how to get pesticides off your fruit:

“While various baking powders were sold in the first half of the 19th century, the modern variants in use today were discovered by Alfred Bird in 1843. August Oetker, a German pharmacist, made baking powder very popular when he began selling his mixture to housewives.” ~ Wikipedia

The Study

A group of scientists from the Department of Food Science and the Department of Veterinary and Animal Sciences at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst wanted to see how helpful various washing agents were in removing pesticides. To find this out, the research team chose perhaps the most commonly-eaten fruit – an apple.

To test the washing agents efficiency, scientists used state-of-the-art mapping and spectrometry imaging to measure pesticide levels before and after cleaning. The three cleaning methods used were Clorox bleach, plain tap water, and baking soda.

Bleach

The research team tested Clorox first. It is worth bearing in mind that Clorox bleach “is approved in the US to treat newly picked fruits and vegetables before they are sold to consumers” by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

We would like to think that if the EPA approved the use of Clorox bleach to eradicate pesticides, it must be effective! We would be wrong, sadly.

Here’s what the research team said: “…the standard postharvest washing method using Clorox bleach solution for 2 (minutes) is not an effective means to completely remove pesticide resides on the surface of apples.”

(Anybody else troubled by the EPA’s decision to greenlight a product that doesn’t work to clean our food?)

Tap water

Tap water, of course, didn’t work. In fact, the tap water was removed next to nothing.

That leaves sodium bicarbonate (‘baking soda’ or NaHCO3): “Surface pesticide residues were most effectively removed by sodium bicarbonate solution when compared to either tap water or Clorox bleach,” the team notes.

Scientists found that soaking apples in a solution of one percent baking soda and water for eight minutes had significantly reduced pesticide levels. After 12 to 15 minutes, pesticides were almost entirely gone from the fruit’s surface.

For comprehensive results, the research team tested the three agents against two types of pesticides: systemic and non-systemic. Systemic pesticides penetrate the food’s outer layer, sometimes circulating throughout the crop or plant. Non-systemic pesticides do not penetrate the food’s surface – in this case, the apple peel.

detoxification

Baking soda

In both cases, baking soda proved capable. Mapping and spectrometry readouts show that the water and sodium bicarbonate mixture eliminated over 96 percent of the non-systemic pesticide and 80 percent of the systemic pesticide. Further, all of the remaining chemical residues were below the peel, something that no surface-level washing agent can clean.

The team notes, “Peeling is more effective to remove the penetrated pesticides.” However, this method comes at a slight cost, as you also remove healthy bioactive compounds (e.g., polyphenolic compounds, fibers, pigments, vitamins, and minerals) from the fruit.

Final Thoughts on Removing Pesticides From Fruits and Vegetables Before Consumption

cleaning your fruits and veggies correctly, even with a sprinkle of baking soda and a two-minute rinse, can eradicate most of the nasty surface-level pesticides. Peeling the apple will do the trick if you want to go pesticide-free. Better yet, choose organic fruits to eliminate the need for all this extra effort!

5 Ways To Give Someone a Bit of Your Heart, Rather Than A Piece of Your Mind

When you are ready to give someone a piece of your mind, it’s tempting to let them hear every angry thing you’ve been holding back. But giving a bit of your heart instead might surprise you with unexpected joy. Let’s look at some positive ways to refrain from responding with anger and instead respond with heartfelt love.

Here are 5 ways to give someone a piece of your heart (not your mind):

1. Seek to understand them by being curious

You may be frustrated by the other person’s lack of willingness to listen. But what about your own willingness to listen? Ask them to explain why they feel the way they do. Then listen without waiting for your turn to talk. Ask another question. What is the result that they are looking for? Again, listen with curiosity as if someone fascinating is telling you a story. This approach of seeking first to understand the other person before demanding that they understand you is a way to gain information, allow for the sharing of ideas, and demonstrate your willingness to learn and listen.

heart

2. Give acceptance

No matter how loving and accepting you are, you don’t have to love and accept someone’s unloving and unkind behavior. That’s what healthy boundaries are all about. However, simply letting the other person know that you accept them, mistakes and all, is a good starting point. This behavior makes for a productive conversation. With acceptance out in the open, you can discuss your differences and learn from your diverse experiences rather than focus on perceived separateness from the other person.

3. Speak loving, kind words from your heart

Nurturing doesn’t come easily to many people, but the easiest way to use kind words is to think of what you want to hear yourself. No one wants to be called a name or be made to feel less than someone else. Start by thinking about how you would ideally like to hear some potentially upsetting feedback directed at you. For example, if someone told you that you had bad breath, it could upset you, but is there a kind way to do it? Think of the most loving way for someone to address a sensitive topic with you and use that same sensitive, caring tone for the other person when you give them a piece of your mind.

4. Find places to lighten the mood with humor

Researchers studying people with high emotional intelligence, sense unease in others, and take action to reduce the tension preferred to seek collaborative solutions when confronted with conflict. Working together collaboratively with some give-and-take shows you place their feelings in high regard.

Adding laughter and joy to a tense conversation can also change the overall feeling of both parties to a positive one, but doing so with tact requires a little skill and emotional intelligence. Look to add some self-deprecating humor when the time is appropriate. For example, you might say, “As you can tell from my many past failed relationships, I’m still working on being good at communicating,” and follow the joke with a laugh at your own expense while explaining that you want to do better at your communication starting now.

how to give someone a bit of your heart

5. Manage emotions to bring out the best in them while being your best self

Ultimately the goal is to help the other person to feel empowered and enlightened by their interaction with you. Research shows that vulnerability to negative emotions like sadness is associated with the brain’s bias toward paying attention to negative information rather than the positive things that the other person is saying. In order to achieve a loving resolution that results in giving someone a piece of your heart, a part of your brain called the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) has to regulate your own emotional reactions to what is being said.

Giving someone a piece of your heart rather than a piece of your mind is a skill to practice. Give these five conflict resolution strategies. You’ll see how they become easier with time. Ultimately, seeking a win-win solution for both parties should leave you feeling like you gave a bit of your heart, but uplifting your adversary even higher is an even loftier goal.

20 Healthy Protein Snacks You Can Take Anywhere

Protein is vital to the health of the body and brain. It is used to manufacture enzymes, hormones, and other body chemicals. As any bodybuilder knows, it expedites the repair and building of muscle tissue. Besides water, protein accounts for the highest percentage of a healthy person’s body weight.

Neurologically, protein enables our brain to grow and function. Amino acids, the building blocks of protein, permit the development of neurotransmitters, which, of course, are involved in every thought and feeling we have.

Finally, protein gives us energy. That’s probably what you were waiting for. Quality sources of it can provide long-lasting energy and a quick energy boost. Contrast this energy effect with many of our favorite go-to choices, simple carbs, which provide an energy spike followed by a crash.

Here are 20 snacks full of protein:

“I find that protein wakes up my brain and gets me ready for the rest of my day.” ~ Marisa Tomei

eating protein

1. Mixed Nuts/Trail Mix

Mixed nuts or trail mix are an enjoyable way to get your daily dose of protein. They’re also versatile; you can mix nuts or add some fruit for a kick of sweetness.

2. Jerky

‘Eat This, Not That!’ ranked the top six jerky brands as Brooklyn Biltong, Think Jerky, The New Primal, Field Trip, Nick’s Jerky, and Country Archer. Better yet, all of these companies support various causes: using local farms, grass-feeding, no hormones or additives, and humane sourcing.

3. Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin seeds are an excellent source of fiber, zinc, and protein. Seeds that are washed, dried and roasted often provide the best benefits.

4. Homemade Shakes

This one requires some high-quality protein powder. A scoop of vanilla whey, a cup of orange juice, and a cup of ice blended make for a nice on-the-go protein drink.

5. Nut Butter Boat

Nut butter is delicious; add some to a few chopped celery sticks and top with almonds or raisins. If preferred, you may also use sliced apples.

6. Deli Rollups

A couple of slices of deli turkey, a slice of cheese, and a slice of tomato contain more than double the protein of a hardboiled egg. When choosing meat, purchase products that are low in salt (and, if possible, humanely sourced.)

7. Edamame Pods

Edamame is a great source of protein (and rather fun to eat!) One cup of edamame pods contains about 15 grams of protein.

8. Hummus and Veggies

Do you have a travel mug lying around somewhere? Do you like hummus? Put 1/3 cup of the stuff at the bottom of the container and stick a handful of vegetable sticks (carrots and celery work well) vertically in the hummus.

protein

9. PB&J

Who doesn’t like a good PB&J sandwich once in a while? Peanut butter, as you probably know, is a great source of protein. For a healthier choice, use all-natural PB, and add some low-sugar jelly onto a piece of whole wheat bread.

10. Vegan Popcorn

Popcorn is a very healthy snack when not doused with liquid butter (eww) or caramel. Adding some nutritional yeast, the vegan answer to parmesan cheese combines some good B vitamins and protein.

11. Protein Poppers

Mix 1 ½ tablespoons of nut butter, 3 oats, and ½ tablespoon dark chocolate chips. Roll into small, bite-sized balls. Enjoy!

12. Toasted Quinoa

Quinoa is a gluten-free superfood. Add a bit of variety by packing some quinoa on top of yogurt, or eat it by the handful. Whatever you prefer, toasted quinoa is an excellent on-the-go choice.

13. Chocolate Milk

Some athletes and competitors swear by chocolate milk. Do yourself a favor, and stay away from the crap in gallon jugs. You can find a low-sugar alternative, and keep a pack or two in your bag for a quick protein boost.

14. Fresh Fruit Parfait

Alternatively, use a transport-friendly container to layer ½ cup of Greek yogurt, 2 tablespoons of oats, and 2 tablespoons of blueberries and/or strawberries. Enjoy your protein and probiotics-packed snack!

15. Cheese n’ Crackers

Fill a small resealable container with 2% string cheese sticks, a few whole wheat crackers, and a handful of almonds. You have a delicious, ready to go cheese platter.

16. One Kind Plus Bar

Kind Plus Bars taste good, are gluten-free, and are made from non-genetically engineered ingredients. While a tad pricey, Kind makes up for it with both their quality product and generous humanitarian initiatives.

17. Chunky Monkey

Add one medium banana, a tablespoon of peanut butter, a cup of low-fat chocolate milk, and a cup of ice. Blend. Tastes a lot better than protein powder, huh?

Woman Painful Headache

18. T’giving Sando

On a piece of whole wheat bread, add 2 slices of roasted turkey, a slice of cheese, 1 lettuce leaf, 1 slice of tomato, 1 teaspoon of mustard and some dried cranberries. One bite and you’ll look forward to the fourth Thursday of November.

19. Tuna and Crackers

Tuna is rich in vitamin D, omega-3s and protein. It’s also delicious when eaten with some whole wheat crackers.

20. Mini Quesadilla

Put ½ cup of black beans and a slice of cheddar cheese onto a whole wheat tortilla. Bake until the tortilla is light brown. Add a tablespoon of salsa and put into a plastic bag. That’s some healthy Tex-Mex you got to snack on, there.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://www.eatthis.com/beef-jerky/
https://greatist.com/health/high-protein-snacks-portable
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-resilient-brain/201506/the-power-protein-optimize-brain-health

5 Ways to Be Fearless This Year

The time is now to live a fearless life.

The world we have built contains a lot of dangers, and we should have a healthy fear of certain things. In a sense, fear keeps us alive. If we walked through the world in a fearless state and didn’t have awareness of our surroundings, we wouldn’t last very long. However, this fear shouldn’t overtake your life. When it interferes with your daily life, that’s when the fear becomes a problem.

In life, you’ve just got to take the bull by the horns and stare fear down in order to overcome it. Many things that we fear won’t ever actually happen, so it’s important to discern real danger from the fabricated fears in our minds. If you’ve been wanting to live more fearlessly this year, then the tips below will help you do just that.

Here are 5 ways to make this your fearless year:

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

fearless woman

1. Do the things you fear.

It might seem counterintuitive to run straight toward fear instead of hiding from it, but how can we ever conquer the beast in our mind if we don’t face him? Actually, doing what you fear has a lot of basis in psychology – in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a psychologist calls this “exposure therapy.” Exposure therapy means taking small steps to conquer your fears, and when you start feeling more comfortable, doing the thing that you fear the most.

People fear many different things, and oftentimes, exposing ourselves to our greatest fears will put them to rest because we see that our minds blew that fear out of proportion. Ruminating over what we’re afraid of makes fear far worse than it really is, so action is the key to “unlocking” those anxious thoughts and becoming more fearless..

2. Believe in yourself.

Many of us fear failure, and because of this, we avoid trying to accomplish things. We don’t want to disappoint ourselves and others, so we let our dreams die before we even start to chase them. Courage is the enemy of fear, and it all starts with the thoughts you choose to pay attention to every day.

If you want to get rid of fear, you have to start up positive conversations with yourself and learn to master your mind. Of course, this is no easy feat, but it begins with just becoming aware of your thoughts. Once you identify negative thinking patterns, you can start transforming them so that fear takes a backseat in your life rather than steering the wheel.

3. Think of the journey, not the destination.

Time will pass anyway, so why not make each day worth living? If you think about it, most of us are gambling with our lives each day, thinking that one day when we have enough money or retire, we’ll be able to live our dreams. What if that day never comes, though? Sure, it might be a morbid thought, but it’s one we have to consider. The fact that all of us have an expiration date on our lives should propel us into action, but too many sit idly by just waiting for life to happen.

We focus on getting to the future, rather than enjoying the present moment. This means that most of us are never really living, but rather, waiting to live. One way to stop fear in its tracks is to immerse yourself in the now, and enjoy the ride. You have to get off at some point, so you may as well make the most of your experiences.

4. Remind yourself how good it will feel to overcome your fears.

Instead of thinking of all the negatives that fear brings, try to keep the positives in mind. Fear gives us an opportunity to build character and inner strength. Focus on how you will feel after facing your fears rather than how you feel thinking about facing them. If you keep in mind how you want to feel rather than how you currently feel about running toward your fears, it will make it that much easier to face them.

fearless

5. Build from the basics.

Anxiety and fear help to keep us alive, but at some point, they become counterproductive. We tend to spend a lot of time focusing on things out of our control, but not enough on the things we can control. A few things you can control are your diet, exercise, and sleep regimen. These three things can make or break your mental health, because our mind and body work in tandem. Research continues to show a strong link between sleep deprivation and mental disorders, and many studies have correlated poor diets to higher anxiety and stress due to an imbalance of gut bacteria. A sedentary lifestyle can also contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, not to mention, poor overall health.

One great way to become more fearless is to prioritize good sleep, a healthy diet, and a regular workout routine. Without these three working together, anxiety can build up in your body, which will only exacerbate your fears.

Final thoughts

To make this your fearless year, try to focus on the areas of your life that you can control, and getting your health in order. Then, start chipping away at your fears one day at a time, and before you know it, you’ll forget what you were even afraid of in the first place. We believe in you!

Experts Reveal 7 Simple Life Changes To Boost Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem? Why is it important?

Self-esteem: confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.   ~ Oxford English Dictionaries

In short, self-esteem is how we perceive and value ourselves. People with high self-esteem feel:

  • confident
  • decisive
  • self-aware (they recognize their strengths and weaknesses)
  • likable
  • responsible
  • happy
  • loved (by self and others)

We all want to be well-liked and respected among family, friends, and/or co-workers. Above all else, we want to feel the same things about ourselves. Psychologists argue that the latter is a requisite of the former – and research backs up this hypothesis.

The truth is that without some degree of self-esteem, you are far more likely to present a less-than-worthy version of yourself. When you do this, you sell yourself (and society) short!

Having low self-esteem can have a negative impact on your ability to lead a happy, satisfying life.. These adverse effects include: developing anxiety and depression; failing to reach one’s potential; tolerating abusive situations and relationships, among others.

The Self-Esteem Framework

self-esteem

In the future, it will benefit us to understand the foundations of self-esteem or the self-esteem framework. The four pillars are:

  1. Achieving a sense of belonging: “The affiliation and satisfaction (that) people experience within groups contribute to feelings of security and support.”
  2. Developing a sense of personal power: “(People) who have a sense of power believe they have the ability to affect their own lives and the lives of others. Armed with this power, they are able to take charge and make changes.”
  3. Having and imitating positive role models: “(People) need standards to give direction and meaning to their lives. These standards are developed through experiences within the family and peer groups and with other people who are significant in their lives.”
  4. Recognizing and accepting one’s strengths: “Each person has special abilities and traits. These strengths make an individual unique.”

Understanding this framework is half the battle. You could stop reading now and, armed with this knowledge, immediately recognize and improve upon your self-worth. But we’re going to dig a bit deeper!

Boosting Self-Esteem: 7 Simple Changes

Here are seven ways you can work on increasing your self-love.

1. Connect With Those Who Love You

Make a conscious effort to spend more time with people who love you. Firstly, the world – as we all know – is not fair, and there is no shortage of people who try to bring you down.

Trusted family and friends will challenge negative self-perception. They’ll remind you of your strengths and give you a healthy dose of confidence!

2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

The Stoic Philosopher, Seneca, once said: We suffer more in imagination that in reality.” It’s true, and we needn’t let our imagination get away with it.

It’s essential to be aware of and challenge negative ruminations. It’s well-known that the human brain has an innate negativity bias: we will pay more attention to the bad unless we intervene.

3. Keep a “Cookie Jar”

David Goggins, a world-class ultramarathon runner and Navy SEAL, grew up in the segregated south. As a black man, such an experience could have crushed Goggin’s will – it didn’t (see: Navy SEALs, ultra-marathon running).

Goggins began keeping a “cookie jar” – pieces of paper reminding him of his accomplishments. When he started thinking negative thoughts, he’d reach inside the jar and pull out a ‘cookie.’

“Positive self-talk made the biggest difference,” Goggins says.

self-esteem

4. Learn to be Assertive

This one is quite simple: stand up for yourself. Forget about trying to please someone who only wants to take advantage.

To boost your assertiveness and confidence, try the following:

  • Learn to say “no”: There’s nothing wrong with assuming you do so with honesty and politeness.
  • Establish boundaries: Guard your personal space and limit how much you’re willing to do for others.
  • Take back control: If you feel that your decisions are out of your control, it’s time to nip this in the bud. Take back your control, and you take back your life!

5. Practice Self-Care

If you have low self-esteem, it can be hard to find the motivation to care for your mental and physical well-being. It’s essential to recognize that self-worth and self-care are two peas in a pod.

Exercise, stress management, proper diet, and quality sleep are the big four of self-care. While the specifics of each are beyond the scope of this article, here are some quick tips:

  • Get thirty minutes of exercise daily (taking the stairs, a brisk walk, or a yoga session all count!)
  • Eat a balanced diet of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins. Eliminate or cut back on sugar and drink plenty of water!
  • Aim for six to eight hours of quality sleep per night. (Keep the phone and TV off!)
  • Consider taking up mindfulness meditation to help manage recurring stressors.

6. Set a Goal

Notice the letter “a” in that sentence. Having goals is great; the problem is that taking on too much at once quickly leads to overwhelm.

Instead, give yourself one challenge to accomplish every once in a while. Make sure the goal is SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound!

positive-thought

7. Get Some Support

Life, as we all know, can be downright overwhelming. The truth is that we all need help at some point. No one goes through this journey alone; nor should they.

Final Thoughts on Increasing Your Self-Esteem

So whether it’s some form of therapy, mindfulness meditation, or other means, don’t be afraid to get help. Get some good-hearted people in your corner!

3 Simple and Effective Ways to Build Your Willpower

Willpower, or the control exerted to do something or resist impulses, doesn’t come so easily to some of us. In many ways, our culture directly contributes to our difficulty in maintaining willpower; for example, delicious, cheap, greasy fast food available on every street corner, ads for the latest flashy car or cell phone bombarding us everywhere, and thousands of shows available on streaming services with the click of a button. Why the heck would we want to control our will if we can get instant gratification from almost anything?!

Well, it seems quite obvious, but choosing to not exert our willpower can have disastrous consequences. Eating too much fried, fatty, sugary food can lead to severe health problems, buying too many things can deplete our bank account pretty quickly, and sitting on our butts for hours on end will just compound said health problems from our junk food diet.

However, with so many things working against us in the modern world, how can we have more willpower so that we can feel better, get more done, and have more success? We have a few ideas for you below.

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Here are 3 great ways to build your willpower:

willpower

1. Treat yourself

Wait….what?? Isn’t the whole point of willpower to not give in to temptation?? Well, to an extent. However, resisting temptation for too long can actually have the opposite effect desired. Some experts have actually compared willpower to a muscle that can get fatigued if not given proper rest.

Roy Baumeister decided to test this theory in one early study where he brought participants into his lab with the smell of fresh-baked cookies in the air. There was a table in the room with two plates of food – one with cookies and the other with radishes. Some subjects were asked to eat the cookies, and others the radishes. After eating, they were given a difficult geometric puzzle with 30 minutes to complete it.

Baumeister and his team found that people who ate the radishes gave up on the puzzle after about eight minutes, while the cookie-eating group kept at it for 19 minutes, on average. By using their willpower to resist the cookies, the first group had less mental stamina to complete a task, the researchers concluded.

So, science shows that treating yourself every once in a while can help you stay on track with your goals, as long as you don’t go too far overboard, of course! Willpower is a finite resource, so you have to “refuel” every once in a while to keep it going.

2. Develop a good relationship with yourself

If you don’t think very highly of yourself, you’ll probably engage in more unhealthy behaviors, such as bingeing on fast food or alcohol, or staying up too late and not prioritizing sleep. However, if you learn to treat yourself with love and care, you will only want the best for yourself. You will start to look at yourself like you would your best friend, because you wouldn’t want to do anything to harm someone you care about, including yourself.

People who have more willpower tend to exercise self-love and compassion, which makes it a lot easier to resist temptations and stick to a healthy lifestyle. Willpower doesn’t just apply to eating healthy and exercising, however. Maybe you want to start your own business but need the motivation to complete all the tasks to get you there. Well, having a better relationship with yourself also helps in this regard because you’ll realize that you deserve success just as much as anyone else.

willpower

3. Understand that no person or organization can take away your power

…Without your consent, of course. If you see a billboard for a $1 hamburger at McDonald’s, this doesn’t mean you have to go buy it. You might feel tempted after a long day at work, but ultimately, you have the power to say no and drive home to cook a healthy meal. We know, easier said than done, but if you practice resistance long enough, it will become second nature. Though we live in a world that seems to profit from our unhealthy habits, we don’t have to keep fueling that machine with our poor choices.

Final thoughts

We have the power within us to choose what we feed our minds, bodies, and souls, and though it seems impossible to rise above at times, we can persevere with practice, consistency, and compassion towards ourselves. Yes, life is short, and you should eat the cake and drink the wine, but remember: everything in moderation!

20 Things Your Dreams Say About Your Personality

“We are more curious about the meaning of dreams than about things we see when awake.” – Diogenes

Have you always wondered what dreams mean? If you’re always looking for the meaning of dreams, either for your health or personality, we have something for you. Dreams are the manifestations of your subconscious. They represent your emotions and thoughts, as well as your personality and even the state of your health. The meaning of dreams isn’t always straightforward, but here are some things your dreams might reveal about your health and personality.

Here Are 20 Things Your Dreams Reveal About You

1. Your relationship ties

As dreams mirror your emotional ties to people, the ones you feel closest to will appear in your dreams more often.

2. You’re not in tune with your emotions

Experts say that dreams are how your brain tries to make sense of what you’re experiencing in real life. A recurring dream can indicate that there hasn’t been much change in your experiences, leading to emotional turmoil. Dreams happen when your psyche has trouble handling this. Analyzing how the dreams make you feel might help resolve the conflicts you are going through in your waking life.

3. Your way of dealing with problems

Those who are asleep yet very much aware they are dreaming are better at dealing with life’s problems. Experts in a study on the Dreaming journal said that if lucid dreamers are aware of their state, they might have a better understanding of what to do with a problem when they are wide awake.

4. You’re a workaholic

People who do not have a proper work/life balance manifest their stress in their dreams. Workaholics tend to dream more because the pressure they put on their selves affects their psyche.

5. Your views on politics

Liberals apparently have more bizarre and distorted dreams with an element of fantasy, according to a paper presented at a 2005 Conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. On the other hand, conservatives dream of commonplace stuff involving normal people, activities, and setting.

6. Your creative tendencies

The more creative you are, the more likely you’ll dream of unusual moments and obstacles involving natural elements. For instance, you might dream of a tree that blocks the road you’re driving on, or there’s a rock in front of you but you can’t seem to go around it.

7. You have an anxiety disorder

Recurring bad dreams could be a sign of an anxiety disorder, according to a study published in the journal Behavioral Sleep Medicine. Experts learned that older adults who have frequent sleep disturbance and vivid nightmares suffer from anxiety in their waking life. If this sounds familiar, it might help to see a therapist to resolve how your brain is digesting your emotions and learn some tricks to facilitate positive thinking.

8. You have a heart condition

Frequent nightmares might also be a way for your body to signal that you suffer from a health problem, like chest pains or an irregular heartbeat. So, it’s best to see a doctor as soon as possible to get yourself tested and assessed for a heart condition.

heart

9. You have sleep apnea

Bad dreams about drowning or suffocation might also be your body’s way of telling you there’s an actual sleep condition you have to get checked. Of the participants in a study published in the Canadian Respiratory Journal, 91 percent stated they no longer suffered this after getting their sleep apnea treated.

10. You’re in avoidance

Is someone chasing after you in a dream? Do you often dream about running away from a tidal wave or an animal? It could be an indication of your avoidance of a pressing issue in your waking life. You might not want to confront a person or an issue about it but it has been bugging your subconscious.

11. Your ability to recover from a divorce

If you’re having frequent dreams about previous relationships, then it’s how your brain could be processing your emotional trauma. As dreaming is a coping mechanism, this is a positive sign that you are bouncing back from this experience.

12. Your relationship with a higher being

Church-goers who hear mass or attend services regularly have fewer dreams and better sleep quality because their faith or religion supplies the answers to the questions they have about life, according to a study on Sleep Health. The non-religious, on the other hand, dream often because this is where they gather insights to life.

13. Your smoking habits

If you dream about quitting smoking often, you are likely to end the habit in your waking life, according to a study from the Journal of Abnormal Psychology. One year after the study took place, 63 percent of those who stopped smoking recalled they often had smoking-related dreams during that time period.

stop smoking

14. A Parkinson’s disease risk

Individuals with violent dreams where they are yelling, punching, or kicking someone could signify a sleep disorder. It can also be an indication of the onset of Parkinson’s disease.

15. Your labor and delivery

Pregnant women who dream about going into labor might ease their actual birth delivery in real life. The dreams manifest their emotional preparedness, so they may experience a relatively easy labor.

16. Your monthly period

There are women who experience wild and intimate dreams just before the start of their period. It’s not surprising to experts because women biologically have days of hormonal flux before their menstruation that can affect their sleep state.

17. Your medications

Some medications you’re taking, such as antibiotics, antihistamines or antidepressants, could bring bad dreams as side effects. You might need to ask your doctor for a change in medication if this has been bothering you.

18. Your relationship status

Dreaming about jealousy or your partner’s infidelity could signify your dissatisfaction in your relationship in real life, according to a study in the Social Psychological and Personality Science journal. Participants of the study showed that their state of mind, borne by issues they have with their relationship, reflected in their dreams.

19. Your migraine triggers

Believe it or not, your dream could tell you when you’re going to have a migraine. In a study on Behavioral and Brain Functions, 37 people who constantly suffered from migraines said that they usually have dreams about anger or aggression the night before an attack. Experts theorized that the onset of pain could have caused the nightmares.

migraines

20. Your life could be changing

Sometimes, what dreams mean could be a prelude to a change or challenge that you will soon face in your life. Your brain is helping you so that you will be able to deal with this change better when you’re awake.

Final Thoughts

Since many psychological issues and physical problems occur in dreams, treat them as a “wake-up call” to manage your waking life better. See a therapist or medical professional for help if you’re trying to understand the meaning of your dreams.

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