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15 Reasons Why Highly Intelligent People Need So Much Alone Time

December 30, 2021 by Chris Butler

Highly intelligent people represent an ideal blend of book learning, common sense, and life experience. This combination opens your mind to the beautiful curiosities of the Universe.

Your intelligent side can aptly learn facts and processes from books and other media. Plus, you gain knowledge from listening to more experienced people and following their lead. Now, it’s up to you to use wisdom to put your ability to work.

Fifteen Reasons Why Smart People Need So Much Alone Time

When you study for a test, you usually do it in a quiet space by yourself. You’re able to concentrate and focus on the material. This lone environment becomes a place of comfort and inspiration for you.

Do you do your best thinking in a solitary space? The good news is that many other intelligent people feel the same way. Here are some reasons why you might need solitude if you’re among the smart.

1. Intelligent People Value Productivity

Most intelligent folks have a stellar work ethic. They often find the most satisfaction and validation from their accomplishments. The few in their tight-knit circle probably describe them as workaholics who don’t know how to relax.

It’s not that they don’t carve out some free time. When not working, brilliant people may immerse themselves in exercise, reading, writing, and other solitary activities. Even their leisure time involves thinking of working harder and more efficiently.

2. They Often Have a Different Perspective

Intelligence is inherently linked with curiosity, and it’s the driving force behind them. They devote countless hours to reflection and observation. In doing so, they often gain a different perspective of the world than others.

They may feel more connected to themselves and the Universe when they’re alone. Plus, those who think differently become the greatest inventors and creative geniuses. Their unique perception helps them discover solutions that aren’t obvious to the average person.

3. They Use Solitude for Planning

Intelligent people aren’t usually those who do things on the fly. They are analytical to the core and like to crunch the numbers. They often prefer to be alone in their own space to make plans and goals.

While they’re less likely to be spontaneous, smart folks aren’t afraid to buck conventional wisdom. They like for each step to be part of their plan. If they are working with a group, they are excellent organizers.

4. Highly Intelligent People Are Comfortable Being Different

Intelligent people often think differently than the crowd. Whether others call them loners, eccentric, or even peculiar, they are comfortable with themselves. Their differences in personality and thought patterns serve their ambitions and limitless curiosity.

Their quirks may sometimes encourage them to be alone. They bask in the silence and have no one to answer to them. For these folks, solitude and oddness are usual.

They’ll never be satisfied being a cookie-cutter person. They have their way of thinking, and they’re okay with it. This difference may be what drives them to learn more.

5. They Spend Time Cultivating Creativity

In his article published by The Great Courses Daily, Dr. Don Lincoln debates the right-brain/left-brain hypothesis. Although the right-brain does control creativity and the left-brain analytics, there is not an either/or, explains Lincoln. So, it’s entirely possible that a gifted genius can also be sensitive and creative, and a creative person can be analytical savvy.

It stands to reason that intelligent people can appreciate their creativity, whether art or academics. To them, the patterns of a complex algebraic equation can be inspiring and beautiful. However, many intelligent people are artists, writers, dancers, and actors.

6. Solitude Helps Intelligent People Appreciate Others Better

It’s an inaccurate generalization to assume that all intelligent people are hermits. In fact, most of them genuinely care for people and are some of the world’s greatest philanthropists. However, their time alone may give them a greater appreciation for others.

Since they usually don’t socialize with big groups often, they have more quality time to spend with the precious few in their circle. Their periods of solitude offer them more interesting subjects to discuss with others. Plus, they often take inspiration from their friends and loved ones.

7. They Don’t Seek Social Validation

No matter how competent a person is, validation is a basic human need. It’s just as crucial as socialization and acceptance. The difference is that most intelligent people don’t seek it from everyone they meet.

Their close circle of friends provides all the validation they need. Smart folks usually have enough self-confidence to disregard negative opinions. They’re not desperate for acceptance, and they couldn’t care less if people like them or not.

8. They Spend a Lot of Time Reading

Perhaps one of the things that best boost intellect is reading. Scientific observation agrees with this theory, says an article published by Advances in Child Development and Behavior. According to the report, reading builds vocabulary, verbal skills, and general knowledge.

Intelligent people are usually avid readers, and they eagerly glean knowledge from books. Most visitors choose a solitary table or nook for reading, even in a crowded library. Smart people who read a lot can also be better writers in business or pleasure.

9. They Know Who Their Friends Are

Some people have numerous acquaintances but can’t identify true friends. Intelligent social butterflies can be effervescent in a group but still realize who has their backs. They don’t flit from gathering to gathering, hoping to build up their buddy lists on social media.

10. They’re Not Afraid of Missing Out

Have you heard about FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out?

It’s that unsettling feeling that they’re missing out on something if they aren’t there. For example, they regret attending a movie when they could have attended a party.

This uncomfortable sensation can affect people regardless of their intelligence. However, many intelligent individuals strive to live in the present. They find purpose in what they are doing at the moment. Mindful living gives them greater fulfillment and satisfaction.

They often hone their mindfulness skills with meditation, breathing, and exercise. Many keep journals about their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. They cherish the now rather than regret what could have been or bad decisions.

11. They Often Listen More than They Talk

It’s usually the most intelligent people who listen more than they talk. They are often skilled, active listeners and brilliant conversationalists. The fact that they enjoy solitude does not affect their ability to consider other thoughts and reflections.

12. Highly Intelligent People Avoid Drama

Even in high school, intelligent folks had no time for shallow drama. That’s why many of them tend to keep to themselves. They see the foolishness in gossip and surmising and want nothing to do with it.

Regarding a genuine dilemma, they’ll be the first to reach out for help. They are patient listeners, and they aren’t quick to judge. Intelligent people value privacy and aren’t ones to break confidence.

13. They Are Picky Socializers

A bright person wisely chooses with whom they socialize. As a result of the law of attraction, these people attract those with similar interests and backgrounds. However, they remain open-minded to different cultures and ideas as a way to expand their worldview.

14. They Often Have Different Schedules

The human circadian rhythm evolved out of necessity to rise with the sun and sleep at night. Countless people have adapted to different schedules in modern society because of work and other responsibilities. Night and swing shifts have many working at night and sleeping during the day.

Smart people regard their careers and often work complex shifts for others. For some, being a night owl may come naturally to them. Others may be the lark who arise before dawn.

Consequently, their erratic schedules don’t always mesh with socializing. They’re often busy in the sweet solitude of the night or early morning. Those in their circle have learned to meet up with them when they’re available.

15. Intelligent People Need More Quiet Time for Decisions

Brilliant individuals know that many resolutions can’t be made without careful deliberation. Since it’s often unnerving for them to think in a crowd, they’d rather be alone. They’re the type who will ask for more time to contemplate the matter.

While their outcomes aren’t made in haste, their hesitancy may become procrastination. They want the best possible solution and may be afraid to do it quickly. Regardless of the verdict, they expect some peaceful alone time to ponder.

Final Thoughts on Intelligent People and the Need for Solitude

Like Rodin’s iconic sculpture “The Thinker,” most intelligent people prefer to be alone with their profound thoughts. In the serene solitude, you can learn to be “still and know.” It’s these lone experiences that can increase your knowledge and bring you closer to those you love.

10 Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back in Life and 10 Ways to Eliminate Them

December 30, 2021 by Kristen Butler

Are you where you want to be in life, or do you feel dissatisfied? Maybe you’ve settled for less when you’ve dreamed of being much more. Do you have limiting beliefs that are standing in your way?

Creating your best life depends on attitude and hard work. Although time and chance play a minor role, you’re responsible for achieving your goals. After defining your aspirations, consider if your beliefs are helping or hurting you.

Ten Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back in Life

Nothing can stop you from being a winner if you’re determined to be one. If you’re at a standstill and lack fulfillment, what’s in your way? Here are ten limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from the happiness and satisfaction you desire and ways to eliminate them.

1. You’re Not Worthy (The Most Damaging of These Self Limiting Beliefs)

Unworthiness is one of the most common limiting beliefs. When you talk with young children, they usually have an invincible attitude. They are sure of their blossoming independence and will remind you that they can do anything themselves.

You were once one of those children until somebody said or did something to crush your self-esteem. Afterward, you began a negative conversation in your mind that made you doubt anything positive about yourself. You may say you’re not intelligent, attractive, or good enough to succeed.

Nobody can define your self-worth but you. Change your negative self-talk into positive affirmations. Stand in front of a mirror each day and remind yourself that you are beautiful, intelligent, and more than enough. You are worthy of having a joyful and fulfilling life.

2. You Can’t Trust Anyone

Just watching a few minutes of the evening news can make anyone feel anxious and paranoid. Do you believe that you can’t reach your goals because you can’t trust anyone for help? Maybe a thoughtless person you trusted hurt you, and you assume everyone else will, too.

Humans are innately social beings, and you need others to be successful. While you should be cautious about whom you trust, not all in your circle are out to hurt you. Sometimes you must take risks in love and when creating your happiness.

3. It’s Everyone Else’s Fault

According to an article published by Psychology Today, blame-shifting is a tactic that some people use to avoid responsibility. If you’ve done or said something wrong, it’s all too easy to point your finger at others. It can also stem from a need to be right all the time, says the article.

Shifting the blame is a limiting belief because it hinders you from owning your mistakes and correcting them. “If it weren’t for them, I could have made it.” Does that sound like a familiar complaint that you have against friends and family?

When you stop blaming others for your shortcomings and mistakes, you can make a change. You may be the only person standing in the way of living your dream. To realize any achievements in your life, you also must own your responsibilities.

4. People Will Judge You (One of the Most Common Limiting Beliefs)

What if you start achieving your goals and people don’t like you? They may see your financial success and consider you as materialistic. So, you sell yourself short because you’re afraid these shallow people might judge you unfairly.

Unfortunately, you’ll have naysayers who will judge you no matter what you do. Why not ignore their negative attitude and reach for the stars? The genuine people in your circle will be thrilled and supportive while the other opinions don’t matter.

5. You’ll Be a Failure

The greatest of your limiting beliefs is probably the fear of failure. You know what you want, but you’re nervous that you’ll fall flat on your face. Then, everyone will laugh and sneer, and you’ll be forever humiliated.

An article published by Harvard Business School explains that you can’t grow if you’re afraid to make mistakes. Per the article, instead of only setting goals to avoid failure, take a risk and make them positive.

6. You Don’t Need Success

A mask of self-righteousness hides many fears and misconceptions. If you don’t enjoy the success you’ve always dreamed of, it’s easy to say it’s not essential. You try to convince yourself that you don’t need money, fame, or things to make you happy.

Some people try to hide behind religious traditions that equate poverty with morality. Yes, all the riches in the world won’t satisfy you if that’s all you value. However, denying your dreams isn’t going to bring you fulfillment either.

Do you read about financially successful people and feel like they don’t deserve it? Are gifted or famous people evil just because they have what they want? Does holding yourself back make you any better than them?

Limiting beliefs like this one doesn’t make you morally superior. It’s all about keeping your life in perspective. You can achieve your wildest dreams and still be humble, grateful, and generous.

7. It’s Too Late in My Life

Unfortunately, some aspirations are time-sensitive. Setting goals that require solid physical stamina may be too difficult as you get older. Reflect on your dreams and notice which ones you’ve crossed out because you say it’s too late.

This false perception can lead to internal anger and depression in later years. You can harbor regrets that will trouble you for the rest of your life. The good news is that you’re never too old to dream and do what it takes to see them come true.

According to an article published by the Smithsonian Art Museum, Grandma Moses didn’t start painting her masterpieces until she was 77. When you read about her and other people who succeeded later in life, you’ll be inspired. What dreams are you waiting to bring into reality?

Just because your goals may be more complicated doesn’t mean you can’t try. You may have to modify them. For example, you may not become an Olympian, but you can excel in your favorite sport.

8. It’s Too Hard

If you’re a parent, you know how frustrating it is to argue with your children to finish a task. They may pout and whine. Instead of trying, they want to avoid their responsibility by saying they can’t do it.

Such limiting beliefs aren’t inclusive to children. Countless adults offer this excuse because they’re afraid to take the first step toward their aspirations. Anything challenging or unfamiliar can be side-stepped because it’s too hard.

If everyone didn’t overcome obstacles, nobody’s dreams would come true. Approach your goals with a positive attitude and acknowledge the difficulties. Determine that you’ll do whatever it takes to achieve your heart’s satisfaction.

9. You Don’t Have Enough Resources to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

There’s no doubt that you’ll need money, time, and other resources for your goal plan. What if you’re living from paycheck to paycheck and own a few things? Allowing yourself to meditate on what you don’t have prevents you from working with what you have.

Consider the late tech guru and multi-billionaire Steve Jobs. He was a college dropout who started a company in his parent’s garage, according to an article posted on Sun In Me. Jobs believed in himself, and his company is now among the most successful in the world. He didn’t let his meager bank account keep him from his dreams.

Your math skills will come in handy when you’re creating a plan for achieving your dreams. If you figure that you need a certain amount of cash to buy or do something, how long will it take to save? Are there any ways you can tighten your budget to get what you need faster?

10. Good Things Only Happen to Other People

Do you ever wonder why everyone else gets the blessings instead of you? It may be raining soup, and you’re standing outside with a fork. You don’t strive to win because you consider it a waste of time.

Remember the law of attraction before you become entrenched in limiting beliefs like this. The Universe doesn’t play favorites and is just as willing to help you as anyone else. Your part is to change your attitude and affirmations.

The law of attraction isn’t tricky at all. It simply states that whatever you project into the Universe will attract the same. When you make negative affirmations like, “I never get a break,” or, “Good things only happen to others,” the Universe hears.

You attract the same negative results, so you’ll continue never getting a break or have nothing good happen. Instead, make positive affirmations that you’re a winner and your dreams are coming true. The Universe will agree, and that’s precisely what will happen.

Final Thoughts on Limiting Beliefs that Hold You Back

The only thing that can stand between you and your best life is you. Identify negative beliefs and exchange them for positive affirmations. When you have a positive attitude and use the law of attraction, your dreams can be fulfilled.

12 Motivational Quotes About Life from Betty White

December 30, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Betty White began her acting career over eighty years ago (in 1939!), landing her first role just weeks after she graduated from high school. After that, she earned the respect and admiration of her co-workers and gained legions of adoring fans.

Ms. White wore many hats with ease. These included actor, comedian, author, Emmy-award winner, and animal welfare and environmental activist. It seems there’s nothing she couldn’t accomplish. So what was the key to her long ride at the top of Hollywood? She owed her key to longevity in a fickle industry–and in life–to a positive attitude and drive to succeed in life despite the odds.

Not only was Betty White famous for her sunny personality, but she also keenly observed the world around her. When you read on to these motivational quotes about life, you’ll agree!

Here are some Betty White motivational quotes that will be sure to restore your can-do attitude.

1 – “It’s your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself so seriously, pretty soon, you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.”

Think about the first sentence of this quote. Your outlook on life is everything! If you expect great things to happen, and you take steps to ensure your ultimate success, you’ll make them your reality. But don’t take yourself too seriously. Instead, take time out once in a while to enjoy laughing with your friends–it’s an ideal way to destress.

2 – “I think it’s your mental attitude. So many of us start dreading age in high school, and that’s a waste of a lovely life. ‘Oh… I’m 30, oh, I’m 40, oh, 50.’ Make the most of it.”

Age is just a number, according to this savvy nonagenarian. Don’t squander today worrying about what will happen as you age. Instead, live in the present and enjoy every moment you have on this beautiful planet. Whether you’re of the Greatest Generation (like Ms. White), a baby boomer, millennial, or from Gen Z–your time to shine is right now.

3 – “A lot of people think this is a goodie-two-shoes talking. But we do have a tendency to complain rather than celebrating who we are. I learned at my mother’s knee it’s better to appreciate what’s happening… I think we kind of talk ourselves into the negative sometimes.”

Complaining, according to Betty White, is an enormous waste of precious time. Rather than keeping a list of grievances, focus on being thankful for all the blessings in your life. So cast aside the negatives. And, whether you give thanks for a job you love, a roof over your head, or food in your children’s belly, focus on appreciating what you do have.

4 – “I’m a big cockeyed optimist. I try to accentuate the positive as opposed to the negative.”

While some people view optimists with a touch of mockery in this hectic world, Ms. White knows the truth. It’s that ongoing commitment to the positivity that keeps her relevant and working, even in her late nineties.

5 – When I pontificate, it sounds so, you know, ‘Oh, well, she’s preaching.’ I’m not preaching, but I think maybe I learned it from my animal friends. Kindness and consideration of somebody besides yourself. I think that keeps you feeling young. I really do.

Betty White is an animal welfare activist and takes inspiration from her furry buddies. Furthermore, she believes that we should all give back to some charitable cause in whatever way we each can. A charitable heart keeps us focused on serving others, teaching us kindness and humility that keeps us young at heart.

6 – “If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.”

Arguably, this actor landed her most famous role in the 1980s hit comedy series The Golden Girls. On the show, she played the adorably ditzy character, Rose. In the series, Rose knew how to muddle through the challenges of life with a sharp sense of humor. That sounds suspiciously a little like Betty White herself!

7 – “I didn’t know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time.”

Life is for living, here and now! Make time for genuine in-person connections with your friends and loved ones. Don’t sacrifice valuable time that you could spend on living your authentic life behind a computer screen. Squandering time on social media when you could be building relationships or your career is wasted at the end of your day.

8 – “Anger tears me up inside. My own…or anyone else’s.”

Anger is a powerful and harmful emotion. It erodes away the depths of your very soul and causes you anguish and pain. So don’t waste your time feeling upset or angry. Learn how to cope with your anger–and how to deflect the negative emotions of others.

Instead of staying mad at someone who wronged you, learn coping strategies to release the emotions, forgive, let go, and move on to more positive pursuits.

9 – “Wilderness is harder and harder to find these days on this beautiful planet, and we’re abusing our planet to the point of almost no return.”

Does this Betty White quote sound more ominous to you than the others? Here, she issues a dire warning. We must find ways to stop the abuse of Planet Earth before it is too late. Deforestation, species extinction, and global warming are already in motion.

She advocates for everyone doing their part to stop the harmful actions. Some ideas?

Shop at a farmer’s market for organic veggies (no pesticides!)
Opt for reusable shopping bags
Recycle your water bottles–or better yet, invest in reusable travel cups
Turn your air conditioning up just a degree, or your heat down a degree, to save energy.

You can make small changes and become part of the solution.

10 – “Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.”

Ms. White says, “Who me? Retire?”

An active lifestyle–including working, workouts, and living in a two-story home where she walks the steps every day–keep this actor in physically fit shape.

More importantly, her work gives her drive and a sense of purpose and keeps her mind as sharp as it’s ever been. Doing the job she loves keeps her young at heart if not in numbers.

11 – “You don’t luck into integrity. You work at it.”

A long life spent in Hollywood offered many temptations to this funny lady. However, she made conscious decisions to remain true to herself and a belief system instead of being sucked down the rabbit hole.

Integrity means doing the right thing, always, even when it’s challenging to do so. Resisting the temptations of stardom probably did not come any easier to Betty White than it would to anyone of us! Trusting her moral compass has served this lady throughout her long career.

12 – “I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.”

This actor makes people a priority. Building positive relationships and loyal friends gives her a support system that’s much needed as we age. In fact, these very relationships offer you a network of people with whom you can be yourself and have fun. And, at the end of the day, isn’t that what life is all about?

motivational quotes from strong women like Betty White

By photo by Alan Light, CC BY 2.0,

Final Thoughts About These Motivational Quotes by Betty White

After reading these motivational quotes by Betty White, you can’t help but be inspired to be a kinder, more motivated person! Her many years of success in a tough industry prove that nice guys–and gals–really can finish first!

6 Habits That Help Prevent or Reduce Emotional Harm

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

People pay a lot of attention to physical cuts and injuries. But what about emotional ones? Though they don’t often get the care they deserve, they can be just as detrimental to you. Left to fester, emotional harm, pain, and injury can lead to various mental health problems.

But it’s also not easy to avoid emotional harm in life. After all, the world is full of various stressors, unexpected circumstances, and challenging experiences. How are you meant to survive them all? Here are six habits that help prevent or reduce emotional harm.

1. Articulate Your Worries To Reduce Emotional Harm

Many people keep their worries quiet, holding them inside their heads. You might do this because you feel like your worries are silly or that they may burden others if you talk about them. There’s a balance that must strike, however. Holding in your concerns can unintentionally lead to emotional harm because:

Thoughts can be disorganized, making it hard to make sense of worries in your mind.
Worries can become stuck on a loop, causing them to turn into rumination and anxiety.
You may try to repress your worries, which will only worsen their effects and cause more complex issues.

Instead of risking this emotional harm, find ways to articulate your worries positively. Here are some methods you can use:

· Write Your Worries Out

Writing your worries down allows you to express them and untangle them into a tangible form. This helps prevent you from getting stuck in thought loops and gives you room for safe expression. Allow yourself to write freely without judging yourself or holding back. It’s okay if it’s messy – what matters is expressing it. Having all of this in writing will also let you reflect on them later. You can use anything from a piece of paper, a journal, a notes app, or a document on your computer!

· Converse With Yourself

Have you ever tried getting in touch with your subconscious? Talking to yourself feels foolish at first, but it’s a helpful tool. Talk to yourself and ask yourself probing questions about your worries and where they stem from. View your subconscious as you would a friend in need. You might find that you can work things out with yourself once you treat yourself with this kindness!

· Talk To Others

Speaking to someone about your worries can ease the burden that you carry. Ask to vent to a trusted individual, and you’ll be surprised how much you can work out just by speaking out loud. You can talk to family, friends, a mentor figure, support groups, networks, or even a professional therapist. As long as you trust the person you’re speaking to. You can benefit from expressing your worries to them. It’ll also give you the chance to ask them for advice, should you want or need it.

2. Fill Your Time Well To Prevent Emotional Harm

Emotional harm can often be a product of excessive idleness. If you have free time to choose to spend as you wish, you’ll have to choose wisely. Specific activities will contribute to negative feelings and can be a point of exacerbation for pre-existing problems. Here are some ways to fill your time well:

· Engage In Hobbies

Finding something you’re passionate about can fill your time quickly! You’ll get to be creative, sharpen your skills, and do something that makes you feel good, all at once. If you don’t currently have a hobby, try seeking out local groups and clubs for things you’d like to try. You can also attend classes or join online communities. Take your time discovering what you love!

· Reduce Time Spent On Social Media

It’s easy to spend hours scrolling through the internet and various platforms. This fast-paced, constantly plugged-in way of living isn’t ideal for your health and can contribute to emotional harm. Don’t fill all your spare time with devices, and keep track of your screen time!

· Rest

That’s right, filling your time well doesn’t need to be about being productive in the traditional sense. Resting is essential for reducing emotional harm. It gives you the chance to catch a breather, relax, and recharge. Make sure you’re making time for self-care and me-time. Don’t feel guilty for taking that time for yourself!

3. Reduce Emotional Harm By Practicing Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice that is well-known for preventing emotional harm. Studies show that just two months of using this technique can improve the concentration of gray matter in the brain. This improvement boosts emotional regulation and provides numerous mental health benefits.

While mindfulness isn’t a cure-all, it’s also not something you should overlook! The process involves paying attention to the present by immersing yourself in awareness. This awareness involves your physical body and emotions all at once. This keeps you grounded, allowing you to experience your life as it comes. It can help you better understand your feelings and develop a stronger awareness and control over them.

To practice mindfulness as part of your life, you should pay attention to all your senses during your everyday life. This includes sounds, tastes, smells, and textures that you’re used to and take for granted. Also, note how your body and mind respond to these senses!

In addition, don’t repress, push away, deny, or avoid your emotions, even when they’re complex. Focus on acceptance without judgment and move on from there. Ultimately, be patient with yourself; mindfulness is a hard habit to learn and may not work right away.

4. Ask For Feedback From Others To Decrease Emotional Harm

Emotionally intelligent people are always interested in the feedback of others. You might think that this only opens you up to emotional harm, but it’s good for you in the long run. Every person has blind spots, and you do too. As such, there are things you’re not going to consider or notice until someone points it out to you – or until you learn it the hard way.

You shouldn’t ask for feedback from everyone, of course! The goal is to request it from those you trust, whether in a professional or personal sense. This feedback, when given constructively, will allow you to consider your shortcomings productively. Some people may hesitate to be direct and honest with you, so take your time developing this back-and-forth with those you know you can count on. Make them feel safe opening up to you!

Is it a little uncomfortable at first? Yes, definitely! But ultimately, it’s so good for you in the long run. If you need some time to work your way up to it, you can start with various forms of advice-filled media. Many problems you face may be familiar enough that someone’s made content about how to work to overcome those issues!

At the same time, however, learn what feedback isn’t vital to you. Some people’s advice will be bad, causing further emotional harm. Be assertive and think for yourself, setting boundaries against those you don’t trust!

5. Reduct the Change of Emotional Harm By Engaging In Social Connection

Human beings are very social by nature, and we’ve been social since the dawn of time! Studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent emotional harm is forming positive social connections. Other research indicates that good relationships improve stress tolerance and mental health.

You don’t need to be the life of the party to benefit from social connection to reduce emotional harm. It’s arguably better to be more selective of your social circle for this purpose. You can:

Dedicate more time to family and close friends.
Join communities and groups for common interests or support.
Be mindful of your relationships and nip toxic ones in the bud.
Confide in the people you trust most.
Express your appreciation for the people who are good to you and for you in your life.

6. Fuel Your Body To Decrease Emotional Harm

As cliche as it sounds, your brain functions best when your body is healthy. It would be best if you fueled your physical health well to gain mental and emotional benefits. This doesn’t have to be taken to an extreme fitness guru level, but it must be moderate and follow medically recommended amounts.

You may not realize it, but the act of ignoring your body’s needs can be categorized as self-harm. And we all know that self-harm is a form of emotional harm as much as it is physical! So make sure your body gets what it needs by fueling it in the following ways.

· Eat Well

You don’t have to go on a significant diet to eat healthily. Simply being mindful of your food choices is a much more sustainable option for emotional harm prevention. Studies have seen many benefits of a healthy diet for symptoms of anxiety and depression, even to the point where they can be used as standalone treatments for these issues. Try to reduce your intake of processed foods, refined sugars and carbohydrates, trans fats, and excessive dairy. Focus on whole foods, fresh produce, and moderation above all!

· Exercise

Exercise can make you feel tired, but it ultimately fuels and strengthens your physical health and protects your brain. Research shows that exercise can prevent depression, with some studies showing they reduce symptoms in those who already have the disorder. Half an hour of physical activity five times a week is a pretty good long-term goal if you’re not interested in intensive workouts. Just get your heart pumping for a little while every day in any way you prefer! You can go for a walk, hit the gym, do some dancing, garden, or even take the stairs instead of the lift.

· Get Enough Sleep

Those who lack sleep face greater levels of emotional harm. Your body needs to rest to function at its best. Without that much-needed rest, you’ll feel dizzy, fatigued, and more emotionally volatile. You should be getting between seven and nine hours of sleep each night for the best physical and mental health. If you have sleep issues, addressing them is a big step in reducing emotional harm!

Final Thoughts On Some Habits That Help Prevent Or Reduce Emotional Harm

It’s not always easy to reduce or prevent emotional harm, but it can be done. You can do this by articulating worries, filling time well, practicing mindfulness, listening to feedback, being socially connected, and fueling your body. These habits, while simple on the surface, will work wonders for your emotional wellbeing!

6 Red Flags That Reveal a Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Narcissists are rarely ever direct. Many of their tactics involve using disguised forms of various types of hostility. This cruelty allows someone, especially a passive-aggressive narcissist, to gain plausible deniability for their actions and avoid taking accountability.

It can be tough to figure out if someone is behaving in a concerning or harmful way with all that indirectness. That’s why it’s wise to spot the warning signs before you’re too deep! Here are six red flags that reveal a passive-aggressive narcissist.

1. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Displays Social Hostility

Social or relational hostility involves treating others in ways that ostracize them or invoke “social punishment.” The trick with a passive-aggressive narcissist is doing this in disguised ways to avoid direct aggression.

This sort of toxicity is a complex topic. Most human beings develop natural social awareness to some degree to dissect the nuances of various interactions. This action means that even subtle acts of hostility in a relational context can feel very powerful. There’s no need for direct attacks when a narcissist can communicate their message with various social forms of communication.

For example, a passive-aggressive narcissist may:

· Socially Excludes Others

Have you ever been trying to fit in well in a group, only to have that group seem to close into a circle and leave you standing outside? Passive-aggressive narcissists love to find ways to do that to those they resent. They’ll expertly orchestrate social situations to exclude you purposefully.

· Give “Silent” Treatment

A narcissist isn’t going to tell you when they’re upset directly. Instead, they’ll ignore you or act like you’re not there to make communication impossible. Silence is a prevalent tactic of narcissists, say studies. This is because it avoids direct conflict and instead serves as a way to goad you into initiating hostility. The silent treatment and avoidance send an unequivocal relational message that gets on anyone’s nerves!

· “Accidentally” Humiliate

A passive-aggressive narcissist knows how to hit you where it hurts, but they don’t want to be the “bad guy” of a situation. So they find ways to indirectly talk about things that’ll hurt you, usually in calm and innocent-sounding ways, in front of others. This form of covert punishment is designed to isolate you from social interaction!

2. Non-Communication Of Resentment And the Desires Of A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

If a passive-aggressive narcissist has a problem with you, they’re not going to tell you the way that an average person would. If they want something, they’ll keep it to themselves and hope you figure it out.

This is because their passiveness involves non-communication. They want you to get the message, but they don’t want to tell you that message. It’s an unreasonable expectation and, left unchecked, becomes extremely tiring and toxic. This non-communication can happen by:

· Sulking

When a narcissist is upset, they’ll make it evident by being grumpy, sulky, sour, and irritable. They’ll create challenging levels of tension while insisting that everything is okay.

· Hint-Dropping

A narcissist who wants something doesn’t want to ask for it directly. They’re too worried you will see it as something they have to owe you for. As such, they try to drop hints, so you pick up on their desires and fulfill them without owning that truth.

· Wishful Wishing

This is the closest that passive-aggressive narcissists get to direct communication, and it’s incredibly annoying! They’ll wish out loud for what they want but then dump that wish out quickly. This employs guilt-tripping mechanisms and allows them to pretend that their idea isn’t theirs. For example: “It would be so nice if someone would get me some coffee, too, but I guess that’ll never happen, so never mind!”

3. Direct Or Underhanded Sabotage Goes Along With A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

If a narcissist doesn’t want you to succeed, they’ll try to sabotage you. They’ll get in your way, mismanage various tasks, break agreements, and turn others against you or each other.

Direct sabotage can be easy to spot, however. As such, a passive-aggressive narcissist will often opt for subtler approaches to undermining you and adding to your difficulties. They may do this in the following ways:

· Procrastination

A passive-aggressive narcissist may stall for time to sabotage your efforts. This is especially true if they must complete a task to go smoothly. Research shows that this is a surprisingly common narcissistic tactic.

· Poor Performance

If they want to sabotage your progress, a narcissist who needs to work with you may intentionally underperform. They’ll do lousy work or “forget” to do various tasks, then shift the blame away from themselves and act innocent. Worse still, they may leave things wholly undone!

· Stalling

Passive-aggressive people find ways other than procrastination to stall you. They may set up unnecessary red tape and obstruct attempts at communication and progress. They might run late for all your meetings or try to slow you down in other ways. They’ll use stubbornness as a tool against you.

4. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Excels At Passing Around Blame

Those with high narcissism always refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They don’t want to be held accountable for anything, so they’ll find ways to pass around blame. They may do this by:

Blaming others for what they’ve done, insisting that you should have done more or known better. For example: “I only forgot because you didn’t remind me!”
Playing the victim by acting like they’re being persecuted unfairly. For example: “There’s no way for me to explain myself here because you’ve already decided I’m wrong!”
Guilt-tripping others so they can get away with their actions scot-free. For example: “You know I’ve been having such a hard time with my family lately. I can’t believe you’re being so harsh on me!”
Gaslighting others so they think their perception is wrong. For example: “I wasn’t being unfair to you. You’re probably just feeling exhausted, so you took me the wrong way.”
Deflecting the topic to distract from the issue at hand. For example: “But you didn’t help me when I wanted your help last month!”

Not all of these methods are necessarily passive, but they’re often used to get out of trouble quickly. A passive-aggressive narcissist won’t want to admit to their faults actively, so this is their next best option.

5. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Uses Disguised Forms Of Verbal Hostility

Verbal hostility, such as insults and verbal attacks, is directly aggressive. But that doesn’t mean that a narcissist won’t find ways to be more passive. All they need to do is disguise that hostility. They’ll do this with:

· A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Gives Backhanded Compliments

When a toxic person compliments you, they’re rarely doing it genuinely. It’s typically a backhanded way to insult you while making them look innocent. They might say, “Wow, great dress – I used to dress like that in high school.” Or perhaps they’ll look you up and down and say they admire your confidence for going out dressing as you did. It sounds nice, but it’s not, and you can tell it isn’t.

· Brutal “Honesty.”

There’s a difference between being honest and just being cruel. A passive-aggressive narcissist is the latter, but they look like the former. They’ll insist they want the best for you, but their words are unreasonably hurtful and disrespectful.

· Humor and the Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

A passive-aggressive narcissist will often make use of hostile humor. They’ll make digs at various aspects of you but insist they were joking. This lets them express their true thoughts while painting you to look like you’re overly sensitive.

· Disclaimers

The passive-aggressive narcissist may fill their sentences with disclaimers to make themselves seem mindful. They may say “No offense, but…” or “I hope you don’t think I’m rude, but…”, as well as other careful statements. They use these to protect themselves against the inevitable backlash for the harsh words they’ll say. Since they “prepared” you, they’ll make your adverse reaction out to be your problem.

6. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Has An Exaggerated Need For Attention, Validation, and Assurance

Lots of people do want and need extrinsic validation from those around them. There are even plenty of people with unhealthy levels of this need who aren’t narcissists. But those with many narcissisms will express this exaggerated need in notably harmful ways.

A passive-aggressive narcissist will want to seek out and almost demand the assurance they desire. But the keyword here is their “passiveness.” They don’t directly ask for attention – they try to grab it in various toxic and manipulative ways. This behavior is a huge red flag and can come from any following emotions.

· Fear Of Rejection Or Ridicule

A passive-aggressive narcissist is often highly motivated by various forms of fear. They may be afraid of rejection, of being wrong, or of being ridiculed. This fear causes them to crave validation to alleviate this fear. They’re worried that people will call their bluff or will see them differently than they wish to be perceived. As such, they find ways to gain the assurance they want, typically through underhanded means. This also means that many narcissists fear vulnerability and won’t be open to genuine intimacy and honesty with others.

· Constant Anxiety

A lot of narcissists experience constant states of anxiety. This emotion elevates toxic behavior because they project their fear, accusing others of various things without evidence or truth. They’re so anxious that they believe their anxieties are entirely rational and take that out on everyone around them. In a passive-aggressive narcissists, this can be seen in how they constantly talk about impending doom or how everyone is out to get them. Studies show a high correlation between anxious and narcissistic tendencies.

· Threat Perception

The aforementioned constant anxiety means that a passive-aggressive narcissist perceives everything as a threat. They take everything personally. They’ll think it was directed at them if you say something casually. Everything is seen as a personal attack, which can be exhausting for the people around them. They don’t take anyone in good faith!

Unfortunately, no validation or assurance can be enough for a passive-aggressive narcissist. Not only do they fail to internalize anything positive you say truly, but they also don’t believe those words.

This is especially true for individuals with NPD, typically a disorder based on trauma. They may believe they’re not worthy of love, so they desire that love but can’t think it may be genuine. They’ll do whatever it takes to get praise, but at the end, it won’t make them feel good the way they wish it did.

Final Thoughts On Some Red Flags That Reveal A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

You can’t always discern who’s a narcissist or just a bit of a toxic person with a few toxic traits. That’s why spotting red flags from anyone whose passive aggression may harm you is vital! Only then can you say no to their machinations.

Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem Improve With Age, According to Study

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Are you on a quest to love your body and improve your self-love? Many people struggle with these concepts, and even those who seem to have it all still deal with self-esteem issues. The fact that self-esteem is associated with achievements, body satisfaction levels, happiness, and motivation makes it more desirable!

But what, exactly, is self-esteem? The term was coined in the 18th century about the importance of thinking well of oneself to reach full potential. It refers to an evaluation of self-worth, encompassing beliefs about the self, including one’s appearance and body. It typically requires a generally positive emotional state.

Ever since the idea of self-esteem was introduced to the general public, it’s been a beautiful construct. Some people consider self-esteem an enduring characteristic that is almost innate in differing levels across different individuals. Others validate the existence of state self-esteem, or short-term self-worth, as a more malleable and variable construct.

Regardless of how you view self-esteem, one fact remains: it does experience some change on a personal level over time. And the good news is that the change mentioned above is positive and tends to happen almost naturally with time. At least, that’s what the research says! According to a study, here’s how body satisfaction and self-esteem improve with age.

1. The Study On How Body Satisfaction Relates To Age

Numerous studies over the decades have delved into the concept of self-esteem. The study came out in October 2018 and is a meta-analysis of countless longitudinal studies. This means that the study analyzed multiple studies on the topic to draw certain conclusions.

The study, entitled “Development of self-esteem from age 4 to 94 years: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies”, was published in the Psychological Bulletin journal. The details are as follows:

The meta-analysis used 191 longitudinal studies published from 1975 to 2016.
The studies analyzed had varying sizes, from those with a mere 32 subjects to those with a whopping 13,401 subjects. Altogether, 164,868 participants’ data was involved.
On average, 47% of the subjects of the studies are male.
61% of the studied populations are from the United States of America. More than 22% are from Europe. There are no participants from Central America, South America, or Africa.
More than half of the studied participants are white.
The ages of participants in the analyzed studies range from 4 years of age to 94 years of age.
Some analyzed studies involved three waves of data collection or more, typically an essential factor in various time intervals.

Now that we understand the characteristics of this study let’s move on to its findings. In essence, the study discovered that body satisfaction and self-esteem changes over time with age.

In general, it pointed out a link between older ages and higher self-esteem, with a notable correlation between aging and better self-love. It seems that unique “low points” in self-esteem are typically simply the beginnings of long-term improvements over time. Let’s examine these body satisfaction rates in different age periods.

2. Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem In Childhood and Adolescence

This meta-analysis indicates that self-esteem experiences an increase during the ages of 4 to 11. This seems to contradict prior findings from other tiny bits of research that suggest children lose self-esteem between the ages of 4 and 8.

Earlier theories suggested that kids at this age begin to develop a sense of self and can discern an “ideal” form of self. Supposedly, this could cause a loss of self-esteem as time moves on, especially since kids become aware of their bodies and appearances as they grow.

But why, then, does the study we’re discussing indicate otherwise? This could be because of the small sample size of previous research. However, there’s also a different explanation. A child may first start to lose self-esteem when they realize they’re not an “ideal” imagined self. But as they gain autonomy over the years, their self-esteem recovers and even rises!

But what about in adolescence? The meta-analysis found that self-esteem doesn’t change much from 11 to 15, then experiencing an increase after that. This is likely due to improvements in autonomy, with freedom lending itself to body satisfaction and esteem. Other research shows that early adolescence can have adverse effects on self-esteem, typically due to numerous other factors.

What The Study Learned About Children

Some notable research findings from other studies about body satisfaction and self-esteem in youth state:

A child’s self-esteem may be established fully by the age of five! Research shows that kids of this age can have comparable levels of self-esteem to adults. This means that body satisfaction can have enormous implications for further growth and development at a young age.
Parenting styles can affect self-esteem and body satisfaction in children. Warm and supportive parenting with unconditional love is likely to translate to improved self-concept, say studies.
Performance in school can change a school-aged child or adolescent’s level of self-esteem. According to research, consistent performance in positive ways is typically associated with better self-love. The same is true in reverse.
The body satisfaction of young individuals is often influenced by social comparison. Kids and teens naturally compare themselves to their peers and friends, say studies. This self-comparison changes how they perceive themselves, as they judge themselves based on those around them. This habit also applies to academic or extra-curricular performance.
Social acceptance is associated with higher body satisfaction and self-esteem among adolescents. Rejection, therefore, has adverse effects, as research found. Children and teenagers need to feel a sense of belonging to feel good about themselves.

3. Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem In Young, Middle, and Old Adulthood

In adulthood, self-esteem continues to grow, along with body satisfaction. This growth happens at a quick rate until the age of 30. While challenging for young adults to slowly get used to, additional adulthood responsibilities boost self-concept and promote various improvements. These complex improvements include:

Personality trait development, improving conscientiousness, general emotional stability, and agreeability.
Social role development, with many solidifying their identity as partners, employees, parents, and contributors to society.
Autonomy or a life lived independently without the control of guardian figures.

Self-esteem continues to increase over time even beyond 30, though the rate decreases. This means the improvement in body satisfaction slowly “settles” and happens more gradually up to 60. Self-esteem then peaks at this point, between 60 and 70.

After this point, self-esteem may start to drop, with the decline increasing rapidly after the age of 90. This may be due to reasons such as:

Reductions in health and physical ability
Decreases in cognitive function
Loss of complex social roles via widowhood, retirement, and more

While these are significant concerns for the elderly and their self-esteem due to these reasons, there’s still some hope in this! Medical advancements allow the elderly to have access to better healthcare and medical interventions. In the future, this may allow for the elderly to maintain their self-esteem and continue the trend of increase at a slow but steady rate.

Essentially, this means that as long as you feel a good part of society and are in good health, your self-esteem should increase with age. The only change in this trend is related to the speed of the increase, not the direction itself.

4. Study Limitations

Like all studies, this meta-analysis has its fair share of limitations. This is normal, and most research requires further, more in-depth analysis to supplement it. This study’s limitations include:

Diversity of participants. This study included almost entirely Western populations, meaning it cannot accurately speak for the entire world.
Broad pattern focus. The study observed overall patterns. This means the team did not account for individual differences. You can experience low self-esteem as a person that contradicts general population trends.
Environmental factors. While the meta-analysis did try to account for participants’ various factors, it cannot be entirely conclusive on the finer points. Correlation and causation can’t be intrinsically held as the same. Various other factors may be affecting the self-esteem of different populations and groups.

Still, there are positive takeaways from the study. The resilience of people, in general, allows their confidence and esteem to remain high and continue to grow over time. Health and unsupported aging are the main factors that could disrupt this trend. This points to the need for further research into this specific area to better help the elderly prevent that decline.

Other Factors

Still, it’s worth noting that numerous factors play into adulthood body satisfaction and self-esteem. These factors include:

Skill and mastery levels; greater mastery means better self-esteem.
Risk-taking tendencies; lower risk-taking desire points to improved self-esteem.
Extroversion; those who are extroverted tend to have social circles well into their old age, which maintains self-esteem.
Mental health, emotional stability, and mental wellbeing are central to body satisfaction and self-esteem across all ages.
Race; social factors related to racism and prejudice can change self-esteem trends.

Further studies point to shame as a significant determiner in self-esteem and body satisfaction. An ostracized individual or someone who doesn’t have self-respect for any reason is likely to experience declines in self-esteem.

However, self-compassion has been shown, in other research, to help to mitigate these effects. This means that despite all that you face, learning to love your body and self with kindness will work in your favor, regardless of other trends. Being able to seek aid for poor self-esteem and find help for various mental and physical health needs are also crucial in your continual positive self-love!

Final Thoughts On How Body Satisfaction And Self-Esteem Improve With Age

For many, body satisfaction and self-esteem can feel almost elusive. In a world so full of comparisons and virtually unattainable standards, you may start to despair. It’s hard to feel truly happy with yourself when you see a lot of idealized standards that you know are difficult or impossible to achieve.

That’s why it’s such good news to find out that self-esteem can improve naturally as you grow older! This means that things get better, and you have a good chance of increasing your happiness simply through perseverance. Keep in mind that you need to want these changes and work towards them for the best results!

10 Amazing Things That Happen if You Cut Back on Social Media Use

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

People use social media constantly! There’s always a picture for Instagram, a story for Snapchat, or thought for Twitter. To some degree, this connectivity between human beings can be seen as beautiful and nuanced, a complex and fascinating topic. But, at the same time, there’s such a thing as way too much social media!

If you’ve been worried that your screen time has been reaching too-high levels, consider this your sign to start reducing it. You’ll receive numerous benefits from decreasing your attention to social media! Here are ten amazing things that happen if you cut back on social media use.

1. You’ll Be More Creative If You Decrease Social Media Use

Social media use can interfere with creativity. It serves as a distraction and means of occupying your mind, reducing your brain’s natural ability to innovate independently. If you’re struck by a block in creativity, taking a break from social media can slowly remove that block.

On top of that, an over-reliance on technology to fill time can worsen your tendency towards boredom. The less you allow yourself to find quick “fixes” to feeling bored, the better your creativity will sore. You’ll give your mind the chance to come up with its entertainment. Just half an hour without social media can get those gears turning a little more. Imagine, then, what long-term reduction can do!

2. You Ditch Social Comparison

Social comparison has its uses, but social media use encourages it in its unhealthiest forms. Studies even show that some individuals can develop severe depression from the comparison that stems from social media!

This outcome occurs because, by nature, social media posts attract some degree of attention – even if it’s just sharing something with close friends. The goal is for someone to see those things. As such, people choose to share good things most of the time. The popularity of a post is often a motivational factor in deciding what someone posts.

When you see these posts of people showing off the best parts of their lives, you compare yourself unfairly to them. You know what your real life is like in all its ups and downs, but you only see the “ups” of others. Your comparisons are automatically doomed ones! This creates a cycle of social comparison that you can’t break easily without quitting social media.

Taking a break from social media allows you to feel more self-assured and less interested in comparing yourself to others. You’ll remain more grounded in the real world and won’t feel envious of others.

3. You’ll Be More Productive

Lots of people use social media periodically throughout the day. You might think that a few seconds or minutes of social media use while performing other tasks is fine. But the truth is that this completely disrupts your productivity.

Why does this happen? Quickly responding to a message or scrolling through a feed involves interrupting your current task. This requires that your brain perform something known as task-switching. This task means that multitasking even a few seconds of social media every several minutes.

Multitasking has been proven in research to tank productivity and attention. Just clicking around Instagram or Facebook for a few minutes can mean you lose 40% of your productivity! You finally get that much-needed attention and concentration back when you cut back on social media use.

4. You’ll Be Less Anxious

Social media use can increase symptoms and levels of anxiety and stress, say studies. Many elements of its usage can cause elevated cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is the stress hormone that, when released in excess, leads to chronic issues and impairment. This anxiety happens because social media use creates:

Constant exposure to bad news and negative interactions in an unfiltered and uncontrollable without limits.
Feelings of lack of control due to knowledge about numerous world issues without personally alleviating them.
Stress from trying to keep up with others and be aware of what everyone is doing, or from trying to gain popularity or validation.
Personal anxiety and self-esteem issues from social comparison, loneliness, and fear of missing out.
Constant connectivity spurs an innate obligation to respond to everyone and everything as soon as possible, giving you no time to breathe.

When you cut back on using these various platforms, you free yourself from these constraints. Your mental health will improve in due time as you learn better to regulate your interactions with these media types.

Start Slowly When You Begin Cutting Back On Social Media Use

However, it’s worth noting that you may feel more anxious when you first start cutting back on social media use. This increase is because:

Social media can be addictive. So cutting back can cause withdrawal symptoms.
Social media is an easy but ultimately unsustainable way to get dopamine. It takes time for your brain to feel okay with cutting back on that easy but harmful source.
Social media forces excessive levels of constant connectivity. Cutting back depletes those feelings and can make you feel isolated at first.

Luckily, these issues tend to only last for a few days of reducing the use of your favorite platform. They’re also just a necessary hurdle in changing a destructive and excessive habit. It won’t be long before you feel more positive effects than negative ones!

5. You’ll Sleep Better

Lots of people scroll through social media shortly before they go to sleep. Some even stay on their phones in their dark bedrooms, checking notifications and interacting with others late at night. This has adverse effects on sleep, according to research, because:

The artificial light disrupts your brain’s natural melatonin production, reducing sleepiness.
Social media can bring anxiety and harmful emotional sources that make sleep more difficult.
Engaging in wakeful activities before bed reduces your brain’s connection to bedtime and drowsiness, making your bedroom less conducive to sleep.
Social media posts can engage the brain and be exciting or interesting, making you feel less restful.

Cut back on social media use at night, and you’ll be able to enjoy much easier sleep, typically with higher quality! It’s also an easy way to reduce your time spent on these platforms. Put the phone away (and keep it away) before bed to shave off hours of weekly social media time.

6. You Stop Fearing Missing Out When You Cut Back On Social Media Use

The fear of missing out, or FOMO, is a genuine problem with social media. You feel the need to know what everyone’s doing and talking about constantly. You click on notifications and scroll through your feed, so you’re never out of the loop. Then you see people having fun without you, and the fear of missing out increases some more. It’s a never-ending cycle!

Cutting back on social media use starts to break the cycle. You’ll slowly overcome FOMO when you spend a lot of your time focused on the real world. You’ll also soon realize that being a little out of the loop isn’t a bad thing. After all, there’s no way to keep track of 100% of what happens online!

7. You Get A Ton Of Free Time

Social media use adds up. Every hour, a few minutes spent on social media adds up to a couple of hours spent on social media per day. A couple of hours spent on social media a day adds up to more than two days a month. Think of all that time you could be spending on something else! You could:

Cook better meals instead of always ordering in or eating out.
Exercise in your chosen way.
Perform a self-care routine and give yourself stress-free rest.
Keep your living space cleaner and more precise.
Have time to devote to your hobbies every day.
Volunteer with a cause you believe in.
Spend time with friends and family in person.
Read a book or listen to an informative podcast.

8. Cut Back On Social Media Use…You Get To Live In The Moment And Real World

You’ll notice that socially intelligent people remain unattached to their phones. Instead, they often practice a lot of mindfulness. They’re aware of themselves, grounded in the real world, and living in the moment. Sure, they might document things for memories, but they don’t feel the need to share that documentation on their favorite platform!

Living in the real world brings you in touch with so many incredible things. You’ll connect to your life and the present without being focused on updating your profile and posting new items. That mindfulness can also bring improved mental health and positivity!

9. You’ll Get More In Touch With Yourself

Social media use can often be a motivating factor in developing your sense of self. You see people you want to be like and try to emanate them. You may even post things on social media that specifically curate an idea of you that isn’t true. Then the feedback you get on those posts determines what you share and how you shape your life. It’s just not healthy!

If you want to get in touch with your true self, cut back on social media use. You’ll realize that the things others care about may not be what you care about, and that’s okay! Your opinion of your own life and what makes you happy is most important. Discover yourself away from the pressures of the internet!

10. Your Relationships Improve When You Decrease Social Media Use

Social media was initially intended to improve connections with others. Unfortunately, our social intelligence has tanked due to poor interactions through such a one-dimensional platform.

This isn’t to say that “technology drives us further apart” – that’s a nuanced topic for another day. But it is a fact that when all your relationships are maintained through a virtual space, you lose some of your relationship and social skills.

When you cut back on social media use, you bring more importance to in-person, meaningful interaction. You’ll improve your relationships by:

Developing high emotional intelligence that improves empathy and understanding.
Reducing the superficial relationships in your life and making space for more face-to-face contact with those who matter.
Arguing less and being more mindful about your words because a virtual medium does not filter you.

If you want to improve your relationship with loved ones, cut back on social media use! Find more people in your life now who should be getting the attention you give to your platforms and posts.

Final Thoughts On Some Things That Happen If You Cut Back On Social Media Use

Technology has its place and purpose, but it shouldn’t be an overwhelming part of your life. Learn to find balance and cut back on your usage of these platforms so you can devote yourself to what matters and reap the benefits of that decision!

Don’t Let These 5 Things Control Your Life and Future Happiness

December 28, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you ever feel like your life is spinning out of control? Or do you ever feel like the only way you can maintain control over it is by changing nothing? Maybe you feel pressured to maintain a status quo or follow other factors to control your life?

Regardless of which statements best fits you, the fact remains that it can feel challenging to captain your life well sometimes. This roadblock often happens because there are numerous things that you’re allowing to take the wheel. In reality, you should be the one who has the final say! Don’t let these five things control your life and future happiness.

1. The Opinions Of Others Can Control Your Life

Many people put way too much stock into the opinions of others. We want the validation and approval of the people around us.

This is especially true because social media has opened us up to a constant influx of external opinions. Each post on social media garners attention can cause you to lose a sense of what matters as you chase “likes” and comments.

It’s not unusual to desire this extrinsic reassurance, even if it’s not the healthiest. Lots of people want those around them to approve of them. But that doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to fall into this trap! This is because:

It’s not possible to please everyone in life. Someone will always disapprove of your decisions!
The people who matter most in your life will accept you as you are, allowing you space to grow and learn.
Pleasing other people can deplete your authenticity, causing you to lose touch with yourself and dislike your genuine identity.
A lot of groundbreaking thought and action requires the desire to go against the grain, which is impossible to do when trying to conform to social norms.
Being overly concerned with what other people think can open you up to the risk of toxic relationships.
Only you have to live with yourself, ultimately. Others may be temporary in your life, but you’ll be with yourself forever!

The fact is that absolutely no one other than yourself should get to control your life. Sure, you can take other people’s feedback and advice into account. And if you share your life with a partner, you need to discuss things with them when they’ll affect both of you. But the direction of your life and your dreams is entirely up to you at the end of the day.

2. The Situation You’re Currently In May Control Your Life

Everyone goes through multiple stages and phases in their life. Each one you go through can feel so real that you start to believe it’s permanent. You lose hope and stop considering a better future because you think this is as good as it gets.

Instead of taking steps to improve your situation, you remain static. You forget that this is just one chapter of your life and that you have to turn the pages to get to more of the story! Better yet, it’s a story you get to write. Why wait?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of realism. Your goals shouldn’t be so impossible that they only discourage you. And you do need to take into account your current life when you make plans for steps to take to move towards your dreams. But the very last thing that your current situation should do is completely control your life.

Remember, you’re the captain of the ship! And although you can’t always predict the pattern of the waves and the upcoming storms, you can prepare for bad weather and take the wheel when things get rough. It’s all, ultimately, up to you! Here’s how to healthily stop letting your current situation control your life:

· Don’t Wait Around

Stop waiting for the perfect moment; there’s no such thing! You’ll never be in the exact right situation where all the cards fall into place, and the planets align. You have to go for something and take steps wisely but bravely!

· Keep Growing

Don’t ever stop learning and bettering yourself. If you can’t change your immediate circumstances, change yourself for the better. Slow down, focus on things that matter, and address your issues. The more you learn, the more equipped you’ll be for the future.

· Get Accustomed To Change

Accept that change is constant, and you cannot avoid it. Resisting change only makes it harder to adapt, so why not facilitate some change yourself? Be grateful for change and acknowledge the space it gives you to grow and learn. The end goal is to welcome and be excited about change, too!

3. Self-Limiting Beliefs Might Control Your Life

Self-limiting beliefs are thoughts related to self-esteem and a lack of confidence in yourself. Unfortunately, a lot of these beliefs are subconscious. This means that the beliefs are innate and buried into your mindset. They control your life without you even being aware that they exist and that they’re hurting you. These unconscious beliefs can be a result of:

· Poor Past Experiences

Many deeply rooted beliefs come from somewhere, mostly from childhood or from abusive or toxic situations. After all, no one naturally comes into the world thinking they’re no good. These ideas must be taught and enforced, so they come from somewhere!

· Negative Cycles

Repeated cycles of negative emotion and negative self-talk reinforce and strengthen self-limiting beliefs. They control your life by blurring your thinking and keeping you stuck in poor thoughts and bad feelings. These emotions are unhealthy when they dominate you and detract from the possibility of positivity. Spiteful action, revenge, jealousy, anger, and hatred are all examples of beliefs that can drive negative cycles. Poor self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of confidence are also common culprits.

· Fear

Fear is a compelling thing. It can keep you stuck and reluctant to move forward to a paralyzing degree. You’re afraid of failure or afraid of judgment, or you’re scared that you don’t have the skills needed to succeed. This fearfulness causes you to stay within your comfort zone, never leaving it and therefore never growing. Your future happiness never arrives because this fear will control your life and keep you stuck!

Unlearning your self-limiting beliefs is incredibly difficult, but it’s doable. Learn positive self-talk, self-compassion, and self-confidence. Each is a crucial step in improving beyond this point. Even the most deeply-rooted beliefs can be dug out if you’re willing to put the work in!

4. Money May Control Your Life

Money sure makes the world go round! It’s hard to let it control your life when you need cash in your everyday life to sustain yourself well. The fact is that this is what the world functions on, and the stability of financial security is sought after by many.

But here are the facts: money isn’t going to successfully guarantee your future happiness if it’s the only thing that drives you. Money isn’t going to make you feel happy or fulfilled. Just improve your circumstances. It’s okay if your goals involve some degree of financial gain, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that drives you.

A life lived solely for financial pursuit is typically devoid of purpose and meaning. Material items and possessions aren’t what the human brain works best on. They provide short bursts of reward-fueled dopamine, but that makes you want more and more until you’re always dissatisfied.

Again, it’s okay to want better stability, and we can’t deny that it’s much better to be financially secure than struggling from paycheck to paycheck! But don’t let that be the sole factor in all the decisions you make. Doing something you hate for the sake of more money isn’t a mentally sustainable or emotionally healthy option for the rest of your life. Learn to strike a balance between the extremes!

5. Your Past Mistakes May Control Your Life

The mistakes you’ve made in your past can be painful to look back on. And they’re not ones you should necessarily “forget.” After all, each mistake is an opportunity to learn and grow! But there’s a difference between using your mistakes as lessons and simply allowing them to control your life.

The past is in the past. If it continues to haunt you to this day, it’s not staying in the party of time where it should. And if it ruins your future happiness, then it’s being held onto at an unhealthy degree! Your past shouldn’t be a significant factor in where you want your future to go. If it is, you’re wasting time, effort, energy, and your life. You can’t go back and change what has happened, after all.

This is where mindfulness comes into play. This is the act of remaining present and grounded in the current world. It allows you to let go of worries for the future, pain from the past, and other factors that influence your perception of your present and possible future. This is why it’s so important to learn to let go of past pain. Releasing that weight grants you freedom so you can move forward without it controlling you.

Your past should make you stronger, not weaker. So no matter what, stay present and be present. Learn from your mistakes and experiences, then press forward. If you need help releasing complex trauma, you can seek aid from a therapist or similar mental health professional.

How To Let Go Of The Past:

In the meantime, you can start releasing your past mistakes by:

Learn from them and thank them for the lessons they have taught you.
Remember that you’ve proven yourself and become stronger because of those mistakes.
Understanding that your past doesn’t define your future and shouldn’t define who you are.
Allowing yourself the permission to feel the complex emotions associated with mistakes so that you can process them.
Taking life one step at a time.
Boosting your confidence in your capabilities to overcome mistakes and not repeat them.

Final Thoughts On Some Things That Control Your Life and Future Happiness

Your life is up to you. Each decision you make is within your control. Given how unpredictable life is and how many things you can’t control, it’s more important than ever to ensure nothing else steals your autonomy. Don’t let something that should have no say over you control your life and future happiness!

10 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People Never to Ignore

December 28, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Emotional intelligence is a trait that allows people to understand, process, and manage their emotions. This intuitive behavior also extends to the understanding of the emotions of others. It will enable emotionally intelligent people to empathize with those in different situations.

Many people highly value this skill because it makes for better relationships, self-esteem, and health. If you love this trait, too, you may want to increase your emotional intelligence. To begin, why not emulate some of the habits of those you admire? Here are ten habits of emotionally intelligent people never to ignore.

1. Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Run From Difficult Emotions

A lot of people are intimidated by complex and challenging feelings. It’s not unusual to feel the urge to run from them. But emotionally intelligent people resist that urge because:

The brain learns from how you handle various situations. If you run from your feelings, your brain learns to continue the cycle of avoidance.
Running from emotions tells your brain that emotions are dangerous. You’ll start having complex feelings about complex emotions, and that’s even harder to deal with!
Avoiding emotions is a form of repression. Repressing emotion worsens physical and mental health while making the feelings more potent, according to studies.
The more you avoid difficult emotions, the more they bury into your subconscious and dictate your behavior in ways that are difficult to detect.
Bad feelings don’t indicate dire realities. Processing emotions allows for a more realistic approach to these difficult emotions.

Emotionally intelligent people learn to accept how they feel. They don’t avoid complex emotions because they want their brain to feel safe expressing and experiencing them. The short-term negative emotion promotes long-term health, learning, and acceptance!

2. They Don’t Make Assumptions or Jump To Conclusions

Human beings are often very impatient. We want to get information quickly and continuously fill in gaps rapidly. As such, we rush to make assumptions to complete blanks, but often at the cost of accuracy.

Worse still, the way we fill the gaps with assumptions is often fueled by numerous personal issues. Have you ever noticed that the conclusions you’ve leaped to are never positive whenever you jump to conclusions? That’s because that “jump” comes from insecurities, fears, biases, and other irrational assumptions.

This is why emotionally intelligent people don’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions. Emotionally intelligent people try to be graceful, take things in good faith, and be patient in collecting information. They don’t want to deal with distorted facts. They want the truth! This is primarily because:

Distorted assumptions can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you fear something, the more you encourage it to happen.
Emotional reactivity will continually worsen a situation, even if it is a bad situation, to begin with. If things are as bad as they initially appear on the surface, you need your head level to manage them.
Many other people’s actions don’t have anything to do with you directly and are instead a mark of their projection. As such, using your insecurities to fuel assumptions will miss the mark.

3. Emotionally Intelligent People Know How to Regulate Emotions

Emotional regulation is a necessary part of emotional intelligence. Studies show that being able to understand, process, and manage emotions is a mark of emotionally intelligent people. It’s also something that you can learn as a skill over time.

Someone with high emotional intelligence will feel their emotions, then analyze them. They will let go of any feelings that don’t serve them well and learn to control their emotions. This allows them to avoid destructive emotional behavior and increases their kindness to themself.

4. They Know How To Analyze And Let Go Of Unhelpful Thoughts

You now know that emotionally intelligent people regulate emotions and release unhealthy ones. But did you know that they do this with unhelpful thoughts, too? A lot of emotions can be traced back to negative thought patterns.

Instead of immediately validating these thoughts, a person with high EQ will look at the situation with objective eyes. They’ll identify the ideas and analyze them to see if they’re grounded in reality.

The fact is that not all thoughts are productive, and emotionally intelligent people know that. They, for example, will release their thoughts if:

The thoughts unproductively repeat themselves repeatedly, becoming worry-filled ruminations with no solution.
They cannot control the outcome of their thoughts, and therefore thinking more about it won’t help.
Their thoughts begin to affect their everyday lives, function, and health.

To accomplish this, an emotionally intelligent individual will:

Practice mindfulness and nonjudgmental observation of their thoughts.
Maintain control over their thoughts and not allow those thoughts to control them.
Learn to develop an awareness of their ideas to avoid repression or ignorance.

5. They Understand How Others Feel

Emotionally intelligent people are often highly empathetic, say studies. Whether that empathy is natural or cognitive, they learn to understand the feelings of others better. Even if they can’t directly relate to a situation, they’re able to walk a mile in other people’s shoes. They can do this because:

They practice their social skills to improve their empathy for others gradually. This gives them the chance to learn how to respond to the various emotions of others.
They listen actively and aim to listen well when others talk about their emotions. They don’t have an interest in preparing responses instead of trying to understand others. Their goal is to focus on the speaker, empathize with them, and eventually respond mindfully and with kindness.
They learn to discern nonverbal communication. This indicator includes expressions, body language, tone, and other cues. This allows them to gain information about others’ emotions without directly being told.

6. Emotionally Intelligent People Manage Conflict Well

Conflict can be a source of strife and frustration in interpersonal relationships. Emotionally intelligent people learn to manage conflict very well. They achieve this because:

They don’t get defensive when someone’s point of view disagrees with theirs. They’re able to validate the points of view of others, even when they don’t share that perspective. They’re able to express themselves and be assertive without being defensive.
They seek common ground with others, trying to find win-win situations and compromises. They want to establish a common goal, so no one feels like a “loser” in conflict. Thus, they are graceful and fair.
They listen to negative feedback positively. They know they’re not perfect and will listen when others point out their errors. This doesn’t mean they accept all feedback as worthy of internalizing. They know how to be graceful in receiving feedback with confidence.
They discuss things calmly, clearly, and objectively without letting frustration or the need to be “right” drive them. Emotionally intelligent people don’t become patronizing, angry, or condescending when discussing conflict, so they don’t lash out.

7. They Don’t Let Their Emotions Compromise Their Values

Emotionally intelligent people have confidence in their values. They know what they believe in and what matters to them. They don’t put an extreme value of authenticity in emotion, knowing that their values and desires are all just as genuine regardless of feeling.

This isn’t to say that those with high emotional intelligence never have moments of weakness. Nor does it mean that they ignore their feelings and focus on pure rationality, like robots. Instead, it means that appeals to their non-objective sides won’t work. They don’t allow themselves to be swayed by strong emotions, no matter how tempting that may be. Their decisions need to be made based on their goals and beliefs, not exclusively on how something makes them feel.

8. Emotionally Intelligent People Positively Express Their Emotions

Emotionally intelligent people aren’t just capable of understanding and analyzing their feelings. They also know how to appropriately express them, according to studies. They don’t feel ashamed about their emotions and don’t allow the feelings to fester or twist. As such, they won’t lash out at others. Instead, they’ll positively express their feelings by:

Writing in a journal.
Talking to loved ones after requesting permission to vent.
Releasing tension through exercise and hobbies.
Seeking professional help when necessary.
Reflecting on their emotions and developing plans to improve their reactions to them.
Validating their emotions to themselves and giving themselves space to feel each complexity.

9. They Set Boundaries

Emotionally intelligent people are often seen as pushovers, but this isn’t the case. Despite their high levels of empathy and understanding, they don’t forget about the importance of boundaries. This means that they insist on the following:

Rejecting poor treatment from others.
Communicating their need for space and me-time.
Not confusing other people’s emotions with their own.
Disconnecting from toxic people who try to take advantage of them.
Knowing never to take things personally when it’s not personal.
Being assertive in maintaining and enforcing their boundaries and values.
Remaining polite but firm and won’t let anyone push them around.
Not making enemies out of people, preferring to set limits instead.

These boundaries are endlessly crucial for people with high emotional intelligence to maintain mental health. They have to protect themselves from the natural strain of empathy and caring for others. It’s something everyone could stand to learn, too!

10. Emotionally Intelligent People Use Self-Compassion When They Make Mistakes

You’ve heard about how emotionally intelligent people release negative thoughts, regulate their feelings, and do all sorts of good things. But that doesn’t make them infallible! They’re still human beings with flaws and struggles. They’re going to make mistakes, and they know this.

But their emotional intelligence shines through in the way they handle their mistakes. They utilize self-compassion with themselves to better learn, regulate, and process these errors. They do so by:

Refraining from self-critical, negative talk.
Focusing on learning from their mistakes for further growth.
Understanding that failure is ordinary and necessary.
Giving themselves a break and encouraging themselves to be better.
Removing self-pity from the equation and being objective and rational.
Requesting feedback from others.
Being grateful for their chances to learn from mistakes.
Understanding that the past cannot be changed.

Emotionally intelligent people will also take responsibility for their mistakes. They acknowledge the truth of their errors, apologize if they hurt others, and strive to be better. Their focus remains on improvement for the future, not on punishing themselves for the past.

Final Thoughts On Some Habits Of Emotionally Intelligent People To Never Ignore

You can learn how to be one of those emotionally intelligent people you admire over time. If you want to become one of those few, do your best to emulate these ten habits! You’ll learn a lot about yourself, your emotions, and the people around you as you improve.

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