Why is it that some people have a magnetic appeal when they’re in a crowd? What is it about these brilliant conversationalists that everyone finds so charming?
Do you often feel uncomfortable at a social gathering where you don’t know anybody, and do you have a hard time learning names? This familiar scenario is toward the top of many people’s lists of phobias. However, you may be envious of those who make socializing and conversation look effortless.
You’ve heard the adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What makes someone with average looks be swarmed about with admiring listeners? How do some people waltz into a room of strangers and start chatting as if they were among old friends?
Does your career depend on you being an excellent communicator and influencer? These are vital skills when you are working in sales or helping professions. Effective communication and brilliant people skills can mean the difference between clients choosing your company or a competitor.
In the world of romance, charming people win more hearts than those who insist on being wallflowers. Let’s face it; we are first attracted to appearance. Beauty may get the initial attention, but character, charm, wit, and kindness will keep it.
Is it possible to increase your charm factor? For years, Dale Carnegie’s blockbuster book about gaining friendship and influencing people was the standard for learning effective communication. What are the secrets to knowing that will help you stand out in a crowd?
You don’t need stunning features, to have the right last name, or to be loaded with cash to be a magnetic personality. Learning a few simple communication skills and being sensitive to social cues are your keys to success.
Here are 15 things that charming people do for you to consider.
1. They Look Others in the Eye
One of the things you probably studied in high school speech class was the significance of good eye contact. Our brains are hard-wired to scan another person’s eyes for sincerity and truthfulness.
When you make regular eye contact with others while talking, it exudes confidence, charm, and genuineness.
2. Charming People Often Smile
Have you heard that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? When we see someone with a big frown or scowl, our first response is usually to walk the other way. A sincere smile does more to accentuate your appearance than diamonds or pearls ever can.
When you are a bundle of nerves facing an unfamiliar crowd in a speaking engagement or a party, try smiling. It can instantly put you at ease and draw positive attention from others. The more you practice smiling, the more natural it will become.
3. They Use Good Manners
Regardless of how fashion and social mores revolve, good manners will never go out of style. Even the most attractive person in the crowd is considered a swine if he is rude and obnoxious. The essence of charm is proper manners, grace, and dignity in all situations.
4. They Know How to Show Respect
Proper manners hinge on mutual respect. When you show respect to people regardless of who they are or their life’s situations, they’ll perceive you in a beautiful, positive light. Observing basic rules like treating others the way you want to be treated will serve you well when relating to people.
5. Charming People Talk About Interesting Things
You must have a broad range of topics to discuss if you want to be a successful conversationalist and influencer. First, steer clear of subjects dealing with religion, politics, or sex. Unless you are with close, like-minded friends, cursing and bawdy jokes have no place in most social settings.
A thoughtful person would never find amusement in comments that are hate-charged and prejudiced. Neutral topics as conversational starters needn’t be boring. Skilled conversationalists know how to tailor their conversations to the present company.
You’ll never go wrong by using open-ended questions to get people to talk about themselves because they will almost always view you as a fascinating person.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Laugh
Most people indeed enjoy laughing with others. While nobody expects you to be a standup comedian, a little levity goes a long way when breaking the ice in an unfamiliar crowd. Remember to smile often and lighten up with a little laughter, if it’s not at the expense of others.
7. They Are Excellent Listeners
There’s a vast difference between hearing people and listening to what they are saying. You must be actively engaged in what the other person is saying to listen to them genuinely. Fascinating people allow a few seconds to reflect on other’s comments instead of thinking of what to say next.
Be a good listener, look the speaker in the eyes and concentrate on what she’s saying. Let her know that you understand her point by restating it in your own words. Keep your body language neutral and receptive, leaning slightly toward the other person.
Excellent conversationalists also value the importance of mirroring the person talking to them. Take a cue from the topic and the emotion the speaker is displaying and follow suit. Show genuine enthusiasm when he is sharing exciting news and display empathy when he’s perplexed or hurting.
Though it may be difficult, you should avoid interrupting. While you mirror appropriate emotion, nod your head, and think about what he’s saying. These nonverbal actions tell the other person that you care about what he’s saying, and you value him.
8. People with True Charm are Genuine
If you must be pretentious to make a statement, you won’t be a positive one. People like meeting those who are authentic and don’t need to put on airs. In a group or even one-on-one conversation, relax, and be yourself.
Nobody enjoys the company of a braggart, either. Those who can only blab about their accomplishments, possessions, or money always are usually avoided. Your best asset is a genuine personality with a positive attitude and kindness.
9. Charming People are Positive
Skillful conversationalists are keenly aware of how to set the mood of the discussion. Your attitude can be contagious, be it positive or negative. Who wants to be smothered by a wet blanket spouting gloom and doom all the time? It’s a mood buster for everyone.
Of course, sometimes warrant serious discussions about negative situations, which are unusual in social occasions. Remember to smile and keep the conversation positive and lively. People will leave the conversation feeling good and will seek out your company often.
10. Know-How to Tell a Great Story
Isn’t it fun to be around people who are gifted storytellers? They are animated and instinctively know how to accent each part. While sharing stories is a beautiful way to bond with others, it should be used judiciously to avoid being boring.
11. Fascinating People are Team Players
What would happen in a basketball game if only one player controlled the ball? Nobody else could play, and their team would undoubtedly lose, regardless of whether the single player is a pro. Likewise, a one-sided conversation is a loss to everyone involved.
To be a great conversationalist, learn to share the limelight. When you draw others into the conversation and allow it to go back and forth naturally, everyone is happy and enriched. When a conversation dominator enters the room, people usually scatter.
12. They Use Appropriate Body Language
Even when people don’t know each other, our brains can instantly notice and analyze body language. If your body language isn’t congruent with what you’re saying, you’ll be ingenuine. When you are talking, keep your arms open and your body calm and relaxed.
13. They Do Things to Enrich Their Lives
Fascinating people don’t just happen; they invest in themselves. No wonder they are a treasure trove of interesting subjects to discuss. If you want people to be attracted to you, consider expanding your expertise and learning new hobbies.
14. Charismatic People Keep Their Word
Nobody enjoys the company of a liar, not even other liars. Those who attract attention at a party or social event know to save the obvious whoppers for a funny fishing story. Also, you build trust and camaraderie when you are honest, punctual, and fulfill your promises and obligations.
15. People with Charm Make Others Feel Good About Themselves
Most people can see straight through flattery with disdain. However, appropriate and sincere compliments are usually welcomed by others. When you have confidence in yourself and your abilities, it’s easy to step back from the spotlight and allow others to shine.
If you want to be perceived as a charming person with a magnetic personality, practice these suggestions. Soon, they will become second nature, and you will be more comfortable in a crowd or a one-on-one conversation. You’ll never regret learning how to make new friends and cultivate friendships you already have.