Many people view IQ as the most important indicator of intelligence. But, is it really?
Studies are finding that emotional intelligence is actually even more important. Emotional intelligence means being able to perceive, control, and assess your emotions as well as others’. This type of knowledge means knowing how to respond to someone without letting your emotions get the best of you. And it also means remembering you can’t control other people’s feelings.
“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence; it is not the triumph of heart over head—it is the unique intersection of both.” –David Caruso
People with high emotional intelligence contribute a lot of essential skills to society and may not even know it. Sensitive, emotional people often get looked at as weak or unproductive in society, but they simply possess different characteristics than their less sensitive counterparts. They have a way of seeing into the heart of people and smoothing out disagreements that may occur between more logical types. So, to sum it up, emotional intelligence gets downplayed a lot in society, but without empathy, our world would not function.
Psychologist and one of the pioneers of emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book about how information doesn’t have much value if you lack empathy. In Dr. Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, he talked about five main components that make up emotional intelligence.
We will go over what he outlined in his book below, as well as other behaviors of people with high emotional intelligence.
Here are 12 behaviors of people with high emotional intelligence:
1 – They have high self-awareness.
According to Dr. Goleman, the first sign someone possesses high emotional intelligence is their level of self-awareness. Those with high emotional intelligence can keep close tabs on their emotions and control their reactions to other people. They never allow their feelings to get the best of them.
They don’t stuff their feelings away, but they also don’t let their emotions steer the wheel. People with emotional intelligence just pay attention to their feelings, so they don’t overreact or make bad decisions based on emotions. They also know themselves very well and set boundaries with people so they can maintain a sense of peace and autonomy at all times. People who are emotionally smart use this thoughtful gift as a way to keep in touch with their inner selves and gain insight into their feelings at all times.
2 – They have a remarkable ability to control their emotions.
The emotionally intelligent ride the waves of their emotions and don’t attach themselves to them. They simply allow the feelings to come and go without labeling them as good or bad. As humans, we all have fluctuating emotions, so if we feel sad today, then tomorrow, we might feel happy again. Knowing this, emotionally smart people keep a calm, even demeanor despite how they feel inside.
Emotional regulation is a crucial trait of the emotionally smart because, without the ability to control emotions, you will always fall victim to the chaos happening around you. However, if you can view your feelings as merely passing thought waves, you can ride the stormy seas and keep your ship afloat rather than letting the currents drag you under.
3 – They are motivated.
People with high EQ don’t allow themselves to play the victim. Indeed, they take full responsibility for their situation and life. They don’t let passing feelings get in the way of their goals, so they can keep focused on one task for long periods without getting fatigued. A lot of people feel tired just because their minds won’t shut off, but the emotionally intelligent know how to remain mindful, so they have higher productivity.
This doesn’t mean that possessing emotional intelligence keeps you from having bad days, but you’ll bounce back much quicker than those who don’t have a handle on their emotions.
4 – Emotionally smart people have a lot of empathy.
Emotionally intelligent people are some of the most empathetic people you’ll meet. Empathy means recognizing how someone feels and being able to relate to them. Those with a high EQ have a deep caring for how other people feel and always strive to make others around them feel better. They often get approached by other people who feel comfortable sharing their problems and concerns because they give off such a caring, sensitive vibe.
Being empathetic means, you can usually tell how someone feels without them even having to say a word. However, if the person chooses to divulge any details about their life, they will listen with open hearts and ears. They typically have excellent observational skills, and their intuition allows them to anticipate other people’s needs.
5 – They have excellent conversational skills
Despite the stereotype of emotional, empathic people being introverted and antisocial, emotionally intelligent people have great conversational skills. They can get to the heart of the matter quickly and easily because they don’t shy away from in-depth topics. They help lift others and motivate them, which makes them appealing to hang around. Emotionally intelligent people have excellent leadership skills due to their ability to observe problems and come up with compassionate solutions.
6 – They adapt quickly to their environment.
Those with high emotional intelligence have a chameleon-like ability to blend in with anyone, anywhere. Whether they’ve just gotten a new job or have moved to a new city, people with emotional awareness can keep a positive mindset anywhere they go. Since they know that everything in life just reflects their inner emotional state, they try their best to maintain a positive one at all times.
7 – They don’t try to be perfect.
People that have a keen awareness of their emotions know that trying to attain perfection will just lead to burn out and unhappiness. They realize that failing at something means more than never trying at all. That’s because they can learn many lessons in the process. However, shying away from new opportunities leaves no room for growth. Since they care more about improving themselves, they don’t let a fear of failure stand in their way.
8 – They understand how a healthy lifestyle benefits their emotions.
Emotionally intelligent people typically follow a healthy lifestyle. That’, because they know they can’t have a balanced mindset without taking care of themselves. They go to bed early, meditate, manage stress, workout, eat healthily, and treat others with kindness.
Their vibration radiates out to others because they take care of their health on the inside and outside. These practices allow their emotions to remain in check, as well.
9 – They express gratitude.
High EQ’s have a glass-half-full kind of attitude about life. They don’t see the point in dwelling on what goes wrong because that only lowers their vibration. They know that to attract good things in life, you have to keep your mind focused on all the positives. These types feel thankful for what they’ve been given and try to give their share to others as well.
10 – They can remain focused on one task for long periods of time.
Even if they have a lot going on in their heads, they can cut through the chatter and keep focused on the task right in front of them. Since they have the ability to manage and control their emotions, they don’t allow boredom or fatigue to keep them from their goals. If they feel stressed, they get up and workout, stretch or do something else to release it. Then, they get back to work. They know when to take breaks, but they stay the course and always finish whatever they start.
11 – They are highly creative.
They may not have a typical creative job. But they always use their innate abilities in whatever field they work in. They typically think outside the box and can view a problem from a bigger perspective.
This creative juice allows them to come up with a strong solution to an issue because they use their natural curiosity for life, along with their creativity to tackle problems. This also relates to being a good leader because these skills can be useful in the business world.
12 – They don’t get offended easily.
Since they have a good idea of themselves and set boundaries with people, those with high emotional intelligence don’t get offended easily. They know that whatever others think and feel about them only reflects their inner emotional state. Thus, nothing outside themselves can hurt them. Therefore, they listen to others with an open mind. However, they never allow their inner state to become upset by turbulence or strife from others.
Final thoughts about people with high emotional intelligence
Overall, having high emotional intelligence means having an awareness of your emotions as well as others’. Tap into your inner emotions. You will access a whole new world of knowledge that will open up many doors for you. Of course, even if you don’t have these skills, you can acquire them. Mindfulness and showing compassion for others can help increase emotional intelligence.
We would love to hear from you! What do you think is more important IQ or EQ?