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How To Train Your Brain To Stop Worrying

February 2, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Worrying is an unnecessary evil when it comes to your mental health. Some consider it simply a bad habit that can be unlearned with practice. Some think worrying serves a purpose for the brain, such as helping us to learn from past experiences and prepare for new ones. Whether good or bad, the anxiety that results from worry occupies our brains as we focus on a future we can’t control.

Some say that depression is a focus on past events you wish you could change. They also caution how worrying is focusing on future events you have no control over. Notably, instead of worrying, you can choose to take action by preparing for whatever it is that has you worried. In this article, we will look at active ways you can train your brain to stop worrying.

How To Train Your Brain To Stop Worrying

1. Stop your brain from worrying by writing it down.

This technique might be the most valuable when you are training your brain to stop worrying. If your brain keeps you up at night by thinking about something, put it down on paper. (Electronic formats also work.) This action lets your brain breathe a mental sigh of relief by no longer spending energy trying to remember these details. If you’re worrying about what to serve for a gathering of friends, write down “What to serve?”

Writing it down also is a way for you to put your brain on notice. In other words, you tell your brain, “This is important enough to write down.” Your brain has now been alerted to put resources toward solving this problem rather than being worried.

Why write it down? Researchers now have evidence that chronic worriers may be chronic problem-avoiders, too. Scientists in the journal Anxiety, Stress & Coping allowed worriers to write down three possible outcomes for problematic situations. Then, they analyzed their answers for practical solutions.

The scientists say, “When participants’ problem elaborations were rated for concreteness, both studies showed an inverse relationship between degree of worry and concreteness. The more participants worried about a given topic, the less concrete was the content of their elaboration. The results challenge the view that worry may promote better problem analyses. Instead, they conform to the view that worry is a cognitive avoidance response.”

2. Meditate for a worry-free brain.

Meditation can help train your brain to stop worrying. Researchers in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine studied the effects of meditation and found that meditation is perfect for reducing cognitive anxiety. Although some people believe they do not have time to meditate, meditation is as easy as closing your eyes for thirty seconds or longer. The act of tuning out other sources of stress actively trains your brain to stop worrying.

When you consciously take a few moments to avoid any non-natural noise in your life, you center around what is most important to you. Worrisome thoughts may come to you while you meditate, yet this is normal. Those who have mastered the art of brain-training recommend observing worrisome thoughts as they enter the mind and simply watching them pass like clouds on a breezy day.

3. Exercise to train your body and brain to stop worrying.

Worry is how your brain learns to survive by deciding whether or not to activate the fight-or-flight system. If a cougar jumps out at you, you instantly feel a rush of adrenaline. This fear response is the same thing happening to your body when you worry, just at a much lower level over a more extended period.

The same study in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine found that exercise, on the other hand, is good for you, especially when your body feels anxiety symptoms. If your body feels fewer physical symptoms of stress, your mind will interpret that there must be less to fret about because the body is not in a state of heightened arousal.

Exercise gives the body a secondary reason for the rapid heart rate and perspiration that we may feel when we worry. Exercise can help lower blood pressure, which is another physical symptom of stress in the body. If you identify that you are worrying, go for a five to ten minute walk – get outside if possible. Appreciate the sights and sounds of nature while focusing on the motion of your limbs and the breaths you take.

4. Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce worry

Mindfulness is a powerful technique for staying present and reducing worry. It involves paying full attention to the present moment, with acceptance and without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, you can train your brain to focus on the current situation rather than dwelling on past regrets or future anxieties.

As explained by the University of Massachusetts Memorial Medical Center, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) significantly decreases worry and associated symptoms. To practice mindfulness, start by taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, observe your thoughts and feelings, and engage fully with your surroundings. This practice can help you develop a more balanced perspective and reduce your worries.

5. Establish a regular sleep schedule to enhance mental well-being

Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule is essential for mental health and can significantly reduce worry and stress. Adequate and quality sleep allows the brain to process emotions, consolidate memories, and enhance decision-making skills. When we are well-rested, we are better equipped to handle challenges and manage stressors effectively.

To establish a regular sleep schedule, aim to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. Create a relaxing bedtime routine to signal to your body that it’s time to wind down. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine close to bedtime, and limit exposure to screens, as the blue light emitted can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep.

By prioritizing sleep and ensuring you get the recommended 7-9 hours per night, you can improve your mood, cognitive function, and overall resilience, making it easier to manage worry and maintain a positive outlook.

6. Seek professional help when needed

Sometimes, worries can become overwhelming and interfere with daily life. In such cases, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Therapists and counselors are trained to help individuals develop coping strategies, address underlying issues contributing to worry, and improve mental well-being.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in treating chronic worry and generalized anxiety disorder. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional if you find your worries are persistent and affecting your quality of life.

Final Thoughts on Training Yourself to Stop Worrying

Training your brain to stop worrying is a valuable skill that can significantly improve your quality of life. You can develop a more balanced and resilient mindset by incorporating techniques such as mindfulness, gratitude, and seeking professional help when needed. Remember, it’s normal to worry from time to time, but with practice and persistence, you can reduce the impact of worry on your well-being.

So, addressing worry is not about eliminating it altogether. Instead, it is all about learning how to manage it effectively. Consistent practice of the abovementioned techniques can help you build mental resilience, foster a positive outlook, and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, so be patient with yourself and stay committed to your mental health journey.

25 Secret Signs He’s Confessing His Love For You

February 2, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Are you wondering if your new partner is falling in love with you?

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship…one day you look at a person and you see something more…Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is…suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” – Gillian Anderson

In the above quote, Ms. Anderson is right on the money – at least when friends become lovers.

Her insight in this regard, however, can extend to the many ways in which people’s feelings transform from something else into love for another; whether such transformation takes place during friendship or dating, the premise is the same: we will ultimately “confess” our love.

In most cases, but not all, the woman is more upfront about her feelings, whatever they may be. As for men, well, the picture is often a bit more opaque.

Some guys are comfortable expressing affection, but most men have a hard time expressing romantic feelings – at least verbally (e.g. “I love you,” “You’re beautiful”). It’s much easier to decipher the man’s behavior. We call these “love signs,” or “secret signs.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’d life to find an article about the behaviors when a female confesses love, here’s a companion article to read.

Here are 25 such signs that a man is confessing his love for you:

1. In a social setting, the man will most often give you more attention than anyone else in the room.

2. He restrains from acting annoyed, even if something you do is a pet peeve or “pushes his buttons.”

3. He remembers meaningful days, such as your birthday or other dates of importance.

4. He doesn’t hesitate to make you his number one priority, even if it means going out of his way.

5. He defends you if someone attempts to bad talk or harm you in any imaginable way.

6. He always wants to spend time with you and loves every second of it. He’ll seemingly always go out of his way to do so, if necessary.

7. He always talks and opens up to you about nearly everything in his life – from his friends to his work.

8. He can’t stay mad at you for very long. He’ll often make the effort to apologize or accept your apology.

9. He tries hard to “fit in” with your friends and family members. He cares a lot about what they have to say.

10. He’ll sacrifice his happiness, comfort, and so on, if it means that you are better off.

11. He’ll text or call you before heading to bed. Often, you’re the person he speaks with last.

12. He is always respectful regardless of the situation. He won’t doe-eye other girls in your presence, or cut you off while you’re speaking.

13. He keeps you informed about his life and what’s going on; even if it’s a small matter.

14. He won’t be afraid to swallow his pride and apologize to you in the event he does something hurtful.

15. He’ll help whenever he’s asked, from the smallest favor to something that demands his full attention and effort.

16. He eagerly wants to know about your life, from your childhood to work – and everything in between.

17. He’s protective of you in many ways. For example, does he request a call or text to know you got home safely? Does he “guide” you across the street or while walking?

18. He’ll include the word “we” instead of “Me” or “I” when discussing something that includes you. He often does this by choice, as he wants to include you in many things as possible.

19. He’ll hold you or stand close when you’re in the presence of other men. It’s his way of “claiming” you, and subtly suggesting that other men should be aware of this.

20. He cherishes your opinions, even if they may starkly differ from his own. He’ll want to know what you think when making choices that involve you both.

21. He holds your hand or touches your back when walking in public. This is a subtle display of his protective and reassuring nature.

22. He has big dreams and always seems to include you. Maybe he mentions moving in together, buying a home, or having a child.

23. He quickly accommodates your needs, from the most minor thing – like needing a few more minutes to get ready, to the bigger things – such as taking time off work to care for you when sick.

24. He’s courteous and gentlemanly in everything he does with you.

25. He remembers your conversations, especially the things that you’ve said, even it took place a long time ago.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Two Words To Never Say To Someone When They’re Stressed Out

February 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

How easy is it to get tongue-tied when suddenly approached by someone who is completely stressed out? When we’re in this frame of mind (and we all have been!), we’ll often spout some pretty aggressive language, or perhaps display our escalated frustrations by forgetting all etiquette relating to body language.

Indeed, it can be very difficult to know what to do and say in these cases. After all, there is no ‘framework’ for how to deal with stressed out people…and God forbid we say or do the wrong thing and become a newly-acquired target for their stressed-out antics!

When approached by someone in a stressed out frame of mind, it is as important (if not more) to know what not to say. Again, this can be a difficult predicament since all we want to do is help and make them feel better. Logically, we’d think that speaking some “pearls of wisdom” would make a person feel better.

Which brings us to the topic of this article: what not to say to someone that is about to blow a gasket. We’ll discuss a few techniques for listening and conversing with such a person. We’ll also discuss the TWO words never (ever!) to say to someone when they’re stressed out.

The thing to remember when you feel stressed…

The people most likely to approach you all stressed out are your friends. Not many of us desire to voice our stressors to some acquaintance or co-worker. With this in mind, it is important to consider that how we respond in this delicate situation can potentially affect the relationship moving forward.

The one thing to remember is this: the stressed person wants to vent and contemplate their feelings with you. Receiving advice is a distant second, in most cases. As such, the practice of active listening is essential.

Active listening is simply listening and conversing with someone in a mutually understandable way. One practices active listening by focusing intently when they’re speaking and – here is the hard part – not getting distracted by conversational pauses OR thinking about your response beforehand.

Using active listening in this situation is, in essence, a means of prevention – we’re preventing the escalation of an already tense situation. Further, we’re alleviating much of the pressure by not attempting to “fix” the problem. This is not to say that we won’t help in some way; but any conversational outcome with someone stressed is not the ultimate goal. In fact, it shouldn’t be considered a “goal” at all. Remember, it’s about them, not you.

In other words, a friend in a crisis doesn’t need “counseling” when they seek you out. They need a friend who’s willing to listen.

Framing the conversation

Okay, so we know that our stressed out friend will likely dominate the conversation – at least in the beginning. However, they will, at some point, expect you to interject with your thoughts.

This is when that all-important active listening will pay large dividends. When it’s your turn to speak, you already know the situation (right?) and can somewhat identify with you friend’s feelings (right?). If you can’t answer both of these questions with a definitive ‘Yes,’ then you must ask the person to reexplain. If this isn’t possible because of time constraints, elevated emotions, etc., then offer a time and place where you can focus on them, and them alone.

So here are a few tidbits when it’s your time to talk:

#1: Beware of ‘Why?’ questions

Asking ‘Why?’ about how someone is feeling can seem judgmental or condescending. The person may feel like you’re patronizing them, which is the last thing a stressed out person needs.

#2: Ask Open-ended questions

Opened-ended questions are those that cannot be answered by “yes” or “no”. Remember, they are coming to you because they want to explore their feelings. Open-ended questions allow them to do just that.

Open-ended questions accomplish three important things: (1) it shows that you’re actively listening, (2) that you care enough to inquire about their problems, and (3) allows the person to evaluate, rationalize and verbalize their (often complex) feelings.

#3: The TWO words to avoid

“Bob, you should be doing/feeling/thinking this/that/the other.” Saying ‘You should’ when somebody is emotionally vulnerable is not only selfish, it completely invalidates (and attempts to replace) their thoughts and feelings.

It’s basically saying “How you feeling/think is wrong, and you should do what I feel/think.” This is the act of a coach or a counselor, which isn’t appropriate in this scenario.

In closing…

Put simply: your stressed out friend is seeking you out for support. You saying the “right thing at the right time” is really not on their mind; if it is, then it’ an unfair expectation on their part. In fact, it’s a completely different discussion.

Be a friend, listen with attentiveness, be empathetic, be mindful of your words…and things will be fine. Both for them and for yourself.

8 Questions Women Secretly Want to Ask In A Relationship

February 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

At the beginning of a relationship, partners typically ask questions to get to know each other. Usually, conversations revolve around what you do for work, your families, and perhaps past relationships. As time goes on, you feel more comfortable with each other and start sharing things you may keep hidden from others. You might talk about past trauma or secret insecurities, for instance.

Your partner should feel like your best friend, someone you can talk to about anything without judgment. In a healthy, committed relationship, partners will have no barriers to communication and feel secure with each other.

Men and women tend to have different communication styles, with men being more direct. Women aren’t as easy to read sometimes and may withhold information until they feel ready to share.

However, after a certain amount of time in a relationship, a woman will start to have questions for her partner. Below, we’ll go over a few common questions that arise in a woman’s mind when she’s in a long-term relationship.

NOTE: We understand that men, too, have relationship questions. We address the things they hope to ask in a companion article.

8 Questions Women May Have For Their Partner

1. Where is this relationship headed?

After being together for a few months, your partner may want to know what the future holds. A woman needs to feel secure with her man, and not feel like she’s being strung along. So, she may directly ask you where you see the relationship going, and if you’re interested in taking things further.

If you don’t feel the sparks flying with her, it’s best to end things before they get too serious. After all, there’s no point in continuing a relationship that isn’t meant to last. But, if you do feel something special with her, she will want you to express these emotions somehow.

Every relationship reaches this point where you can either part ways or continue your journey together. It’s a typical question that a woman secretly wants to ask, so don’t hesitate to lay the cards on the table.

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

If you’re planning a future together, a woman will want to know about your aspirations. If you have a certain vision or goal in mind, it can impact every aspect of your life. For instance, wanting to become an actor or film director may require a move to a different state. Of course, if a woman truly loves you, she will have no issue moving to support your dreams. Questions about the future will inevitably arise in a relationship, and discussing them can help you plan ahead.

3. What do you love most about me?

In a study on questions that generate closeness between partners, sharing positive characteristics about your SO topped the list. Especially in women who prefer words of affirmation as their love language, kind words can foster a deeper connection. The study found that asking this question early in the relationship may accelerate the bond between partners.

The ability to feel vulnerable forms the foundation of a healthy partnership, but allowing someone into your heart requires trust as well. As soon as you both feel comfortable, share a few things that you admire about each other. Most women secretly want to ask this question, as it reaffirms your feelings about her.

4. Is there anything you want me to change?

Some women may harbor insecurities about relationships, perhaps due to partners in the past. As such, she may want to ask questions regarding weird quirks or habits you dislike about her. Maybe she genuinely wants to ensure your happiness by seeing how she can improve. Or, it could be a way to ease into a conversation about things she’d like you to change.

Either way, this question doesn’t necessarily signal a problem in the relationship. Being able to talk openly about difficult topics is actually a sign of a thriving partnership, on the contrary.

5. What life goals do you have?

Questions about the future creep into a woman’s mind quite often in relationships. She will eventually want to know more about your dreams, not necessarily tied to a career. For instance, maybe you have longed to travel the world since childhood. She may share your passion for seeing new places and want to tag along, which means you’re on the same page. It’s important to discuss long-term goals and desires in relationships to gauge how well you mesh with each other.

6. Do you want children?

Perhaps one of the most crucial questions to ask your partner, the topic of children can easily make or break a relationship. For example, if you want children and your partner doesn’t, that will create tension in the long term. Relationships can only last if both people want the same things in life, generally speaking. So, this question will likely come up in the early stages of a relationship to test compatibility.

7. What does your family think about me?

A woman will usually want to ask this question to see how well she fits in with her family. Most people have close relationships with their parents and want a partner who can blend easily. When the in-laws approve of a relationship, it makes future interactions much smoother and more enjoyable. So, women naturally want to ensure they’re making a good impression with their partner’s family.

8. Why did your past relationships end?

Women who ask these types of questions want to know how they compare to their exes. This isn’t necessarily because they feel jealous or insecure; they just wonder what makes them different. They want to know what you see in them that you didn’t find in your past relationships. Also, in the early stages of a relationship, they may ask this to understand your relationship patterns and habits.

Final Thoughts on Common Questions Women Ask in Relationships

As inquisitive beings, women tend to have a laundry list of questions for their partners. In fact, most people interested in a committed relationship will naturally ask questions to understand their partner better. In the beginning, many couples prefer sticking to small talk and “safe” conversational topics. However, the discussions usually become more meaningful after a couple feels comfortable with one another.

So, if your woman asks you the questions listed above, it may mean she’s interested in something more serious.

10 Signs Your Partner Is Going to Cheat

February 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Do you think your partner is going to cheat?

Many possible life events occur for which we generally do not prepare. For instance, we do not generally expect or look for the death of a loved one, being diagnosed with cancer, falling victim to a mental illness, and so on. The simple yet complex reason for this unpreparedness is that we grow accustomed to a particular way of life. When a formidable obstruction complicates life, we search desperately for answers. We may even feel like losing hope. Hopefully, we will find the wherewithal to search for answers and a solution.

Infidelity is one of those “possible life events” that we don’t prepare for. Finding that a partner is cheating is particularly hurtful because we tend to give our all into a relationship. When you give your love, heart, and soul to another human being, you expect the same in return. You don’t expect your partner will cheat on you. A commonly-cited axiom in the medical community is, “Prevention is the best cure.” Apply this to a relationship with a potential cheater. Why suffer the consequences when they can be prevented in the first place?

Relationships can be extraordinarily complex. Combined with our quirks, precaution is a warranted measure when approaching someone who might tend to infidelity. In this piece, we present ten signs that someone has the potential to cheat on a partner. As with any behavior, it can be difficult to decipher their intentions. At the same time, the more “symptoms” present, the likelier it is that a real problem exists.

That said, here are ten signs of someone who might cheat:

“It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.” – Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

1. Someone who might cheat is emotionally distant

This is pretty easy to observe for the victim but extraordinarily difficult to accept. Emotional detachment from someone you love is like a punch to the heart. Unfortunately, disconnection often preludes a deteriorating relationship. A potential cheat finds it easier to distance himself or herself emotionally from someone than to confront the real problem. It’s a cowardly act, in many ways.

2. Lack of sex or intimacy

When two people are in love, intimacy and sex naturally occur. A partner’s lack of interest in intimacy may be a sign of infidelity. This is especially true if no prior issues existed in this area. If nothing else, this behavior indicates some emotional or physical disconnection. A physical connection is vital in a healthy relationship. If you are facing this issue, you might want to have a serious discussion with your partner.

3. The need for “privacy.”

This is not to disregard the reality that every person in a relationship requires some “me time,” There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. However, when your “other half” constantly says things like, “I need to be alone,” “Just let me be,” or “I need some time to think,” there is almost certainly some problem.

4. A sudden defensive attitude could indicate someone could cheat

Two people in a serious relationship should understand the differences between each other’s personalities. Hopefully, you understand your partner’s flaws and accept them. It is then peculiar for a partner to suddenly become defensive regarding apparent behavior shifts. Rational dialogue is necessary for any relationship; if this becomes a problem, you might consider there’s some issue.

5. Irregular financial habits

Two people involved in a serious relationship understand the importance of monetary resources. Usually, any outgoing money is acknowledged and accounted for. If your partner drifts from this mutual understanding and engages in “splurges” for which they cannot account, it may be a sign of detachment at best – and a cheat at worst.

6. Becoming “fashion-conscious.”

We all want to look our best for various reasons, commonly to look respectable and professional. However, an abrupt change in appearance without explanation is uncommon, especially for those who have previously shown little interest in appearance. Those in a midlife crisis often cite a change in fashion as a “motivation” to look younger and more presentable. Of course, the desire to appear more attractive to the opposite sex is a real possibility.

7. They ignore your “inner circle” if they are going to cheat

One telltale sign of a cheater is a sudden disconnection from your circle of friends. This may forewarn a relationship problem. It is much easier and more convenient for a cheat to separate from those close to you than to be upfront about their true feelings. This is even more conspicuous if your partner has always been close to your social circle.

8. They guard their phone and other technology.

Nobody likes having their phone tampered with. However, meditating with your partner’s phone in a serious relationship or marriage isn’t strange. Really, it’s not that big of a deal…unless they either have something to hide or are simply in a bad mood. If your significant other suddenly object to what was not an issue previously, you may consider additional caution.

9. They’re always excessively late

Anyone in a committed relationship will tell you that a schedule is paramount to making things work. This is especially true if someone is married, has kids, or has other obligations for which they are responsible. A sudden abdication of responsible behavior is strange, particularly if that person cannot account for such conduct.

10. “Something came up at work” is an excuse when someone tends to cheat

Things happen at work. Sometimes, we’re asked to go “above and beyond” to do our jobs. Similar to many other things on this list, context is key. Something is likely amiss if your partner cannot explain the rationale behind working late. Having to work is a common and convenient excuse because it is so commonplace. That said, your partner should be able to fill you in on details regarding these work requests.

What Causes Someone to Cheat on a Partner

There are various reasons why a person may cheat on their partner, some of which include the following:

Lack of emotional or physical satisfaction in the current relationship
Opportunities or temptations outside the relationship
Low self-esteem or a desire for validation
Lack of commitment or feeling unfulfilled in the relationship
Boredom or seeking novelty or adventure
Substance abuse or addiction issues

It’s important to note that cheating is a complex issue with no single cause. Additionally, every individual and relationship is unique, and the reasons why one person cheats may be different from another.

Final Thoughts on Understanding Why a Partner Might Cheat and the Detecting the Early Signs

It hurts when one partner decides to cheat on the other. If these behaviors appear familiar or reflect your relationship, know that the cheater is responsible for his or her actions, regardless of any relationship challenges. Have a safe, open-minded conversation–with a counselor if necessary. Uncover the roots of the suspicious behaviors and seek guidance on how to move forward.

Why Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last

January 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Hey you there! Yes, you Sir. Why are you so nice? I hate to break it to you, my friend, but that is NOT what the ladies stereotypically like.

Why? Let us tell you what it means for a girl to come across Nice Guy Nigel.

Why Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last

Neil Strauss, otherwise known in his field of expertise as “Style”, states that:

1) Nice Guys are liars

That is harsh, surely? In fact, it is not. Nice Guy Nigel, from now known purely as Nigel, gets put in the dreaded FRIEND ZONE in one of two ways, states Strauss.

Scenario #1: Nigel asks the girl out but gets the “Let’s Just Be Friends” talk, so he tries to remain in her life hoping that she will somehow change her mind and start to think of him in a more romantic sense, which invariably never happens.

Scenario #2: Nigel does not ask her out but lingers in her life, hoping that she will see him as an adonis and cannot help but desire him, which also invariably never happens. There is a saying from North-East England: “Shy bairns get nowt,” which means that if you do not ask, you do not get.

He remains “friends” with her to upgrade himself to boyfriend on the flight of love, yet neither First Class, nor Business Class are available and the airport lounge is off limits. In fact, Nigel is lucky that he is on the plane at all!

2) Nice Guys want us to feel sorry for them once the inevitable happens

Nigel believes that he is investing in a “relationship” when the girl only thinks of him as a friend, if anything. It is about moi with Nigel and his ilk. “How dare she take advantage of my good nature?” he writes on social media. “I was always there for her when she needed me. *sob*” In other words, he is upset about being “led up the garden path” by her, even though she has specifically told him that she is not interested or does not even know he is her suitor. What a horrible person she is for making Nigel talk awfully about her!

3) We should listen to the ladies’ point of view

How do they feel about Nigel? They feel betrayed, hurt, and believe that he lied to them. They let a guy into their lives, telling him their deepest secrets and sharing sensitive, personal things with him, all because of this pseudo-friendship and the gaining of information on them just to sleep with or be in a relationship with them. Yet Nigel is the “innocent victim” in this and the ladies are the mean ones. Of course, rejection hurts and everyone experiences it. It hurts on so many levels with so many types of relationships, not just romantic ones. However, you cannot condone this kind of behaviour, from others or yourself. Strauss should know; he WAS Nigel on plenty of occasions. The writer of this article is also a man.

In summary, there are two things to consider:

I) There is nothing wrong with being real friends with women, Nige. Women are some of the most sensitive, caring beings this world has to offer. Who knows? If you treasure that friendship with her, you may even find that she will set you up with a good friend of hers or a work colleague. There are many options out there, and not every woman in the world will be repulsed by your true self.

II) Being honest and having integrity and courage can lead you to what you want. Generally speaking, when you treat a woman as a woman instead of as an assault course, she will open up to you genuinely and treat you in the same manner, be it as REAL friends, as friends with benefits, as lovers, or indeed as a couple outright.

Go on, be the man!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

A Thank You To My Low Maintenance Partner

January 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Do you remember our song? Thank You by Dido. It fits us to a tee. Even though if everything else goes pear-shaped, you make life great. I remember when we looked into each other’s eyes when we sang in unison: “Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life.”

You make it that way because I can always rely on you. You make me feel loved and you give me so many things, tangible and otherwise, that I am forever in your debt. Yet all you ask of me is my unconditional love and everything that comes with it. However, it has not always been plain sailing for us. The challenges we have faced, the arguments we have had, the crying, the jealousy, the to-ing and fro-ing, have been hard but we always manage to pull through the other side and the tunnel always gives way to the light. You have seen me at my brilliant best and at my ultimate worst, and I with you. Most couples would have broken up under so much pressure, but we stuck to our guns and fought the good fight.

You are so low maintenance, like the cactus in the living room. You remind me so much of that plant, being so tough, adaptable, and prickly on the odd occasion. You exist on the neglect that I sometimes show you, but you really do thrive on the tender loving care you receive from me. I observe you both from afar and up close because you are my best teacher, and I your willing, somewhat clumsy student. By learning, I can help you flourish more, as well as helping myself. If I have seemed a little off with you or neglectful lately, please accept my apologies.

The gratitude pouring through me now is not sudden, believe me. It has been building up ever since we had that big row a few months ago about you forgetting the anniversary of us first getting together and I accused you of cheating on me. You have been working tirelessly on work, household chores, paying the bills on time, and most of the time I shunned you but I never ignored what you did. Yet you never said a word, never an utterance from your mouth.

From now on, I will do my utmost to love you, support you, make sure you are fine, understand you, dedicate more time to you, and everything in between. It is my way of saying thank you to you for the rest of our days as we grow old together, having grandchildren and great-grandchildren and telling our story to them of how strong you have been. I know that I have not done that enough. You deserve more from me and that is how it will be from now onwards. It pains me to admit that I have not been there when I should have, but I admire how you never complained and just “got on with it”. I am crying about it as I write now. Then again, you were always the strong one between us but I know that you will appreciate more from me. Let me start by saying:

I love you. Je t’aime. Te amo. Aku cinta kamu. Ich liebe dich. Seni seviyorum. Te iubesc. Volim te. Phom rak khun. These are only nine languages saying the same thing, but not even all of them can describe how I feel.

Here is to you. You are my other half, my love dove, my everything, my soulmate. Thank you for everything!

Love always,

Your Soulmate

11 Signs The Law of Attraction Is Working For You

January 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The now very popular idea called “The Law of Attraction” says that you can attract either negative or positive experiences or people into your life based on your thoughts and intentions. Whatever you think most about will eventually manifest into your life. So, if you focus on problems, you will have more of the same. If you focus on solutions and the good things in your life, you’ll find opportunities.

Our thoughts have always created our reality, and the concept isn’t really new. However, The Law of Attraction, greatly popularized by the book and film “The Secret,” is simply a phrase to describe this universal truth.

So, how do you know if the law of attraction is working for you?

HERE ARE 11 SIGNS THE LAW OF ATTRACTION IS WORKING FOR YOU:

1. YOU ARE LESS RESISTANT TO CHANGE .

“What you resist, persists.”

You know this truth, and therefore, don’t fight the changes in your life. You’ve probably noticed by now that life always changes, and we can either fight it or embrace it. However, when you resist change, you only recreate more of the same negative experiences in your life because you can’t let go of the past. Change happens for a reason, usually to clear out negativity from our lives and replace it with positive people and experiences.

You feel totally open and ready for change, because you know it will help you learn and grow on your journey.

2. YOU’RE SLEEPING BETTER.

It might seem like a strange confirmation that you’ve mastered the law of attraction, but falling asleep with ease means you have less stress in your life. You don’t have so many thoughts keeping you up at night, and you’ve finally found peace in your life. When people achieve their dreams and feel true happiness in their heart, they tend to have much less trouble falling asleep at night.

3. YOU FOCUS MORE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.

You know that your thoughts create your reality every single day, so you keep your attention toward the now so you don’t get too wrapped up in the past and future. We can’t attract what we want in the past or the future; we only truly have this moment right now, so we have to work from a place of presence.

You’ve mastered the art of living in the moment, and because of this, you have a stronger connection to the universe and all of its mysteries.

4. YOUR MORE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE.

You don’t fear talking to the universe, spirit guides, angels, or even yourself in order to clear a path for you in this life. You have crystal clear goals, and you know what you want in life. Because of this certainty in what you want, the universe can more easily help you along the way.

5. YOU FEEL HAPPIER.

The law of attraction only works based on the thoughts and intentions you set. So, if you emit positive energy and try your best every single day, you’ll likely feel better overall in your daily life. If you’ve been feeling more lighthearted and free lately, then the law of attraction is probably working for you.

6. YOU HAVE PEACE IN YOUR HEART.

While happiness is certainly important in life, having peace is equally vital. Once you start working with the law of attraction and do your part in improving your life, you will start to find peace. It all starts with the person in the mirror, of course, and actually taking steps to achieving your desires. Always follow your heart, and you’ll find peace in the unfolding of your destiny.

7. GOOD THINGS KEEP COMING YOUR WAY.

While everyone deals with obstacles in their lives, you have started to notice more and more open doorways. You feel lighter, healthier, happier, and keep attracting the right people and places into your life. You start to notice that the good in your life finally outshines the bad.

8. YOU HAVE ENHANCED INTUITION.

If you have mastered the law of attraction in your life, you’ll notice an increased sense of ‘knowing.’ Basically, this means that you will be more in tune with yourself and the universe, and you’ll start to understand what you truly need to become the master of your life. You’ll move through life with ease, using your intuition to guide you along the way.

9. YOU HAVE MORE SYNCHRONICITY.

When you follow the law of attraction and its teachings, and use it for good and not evil, you’ll notice all sorts of signs and symbols that point toward success. You’ll start meeting the right people, having better experiences, and life will just seem to ‘sync up’ for you.

10. YOU HAVE MORE FINANCIAL SUCCESS.

Plenty of people use the law of attraction to gain more money, because that would make all of our lives easier, right? If the law of attraction is working in your life, you’ll notice more opportunities for financial abundance. Maybe you’ll finally get that record deal you’ve been working so hard towards, or get that business off the ground that you’ve been toiling away at for months. Anything is possible, as long as you have the right intentions and never give up.

11. YOU START LIVING THE LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS IMAGINED.

You start manifesting your dreams and desires at a much faster rate. You focus your intentions on what you want, and you don’t stop holding that frequency until you achieve it. As you build momentum and start creating a life you love, the universe will continue to bless you with more abundance, happiness, and joy. You’ve probably seen some major changes in your life recently, and everything seems to finally be falling into place for you.

Do you use the Law of Attraction in your life? Let us know in the comments!

How to Get Stronger and Slimmer In Less Than 15 Minutes

January 28, 2017 by Kristen Lawrence

Nowadays, people need an effective and time-efficient way to exercise. Why? Because you want to be slimmer and more vital. But, your hectic schedule will not permit anything else.

The good news is that we can “get in” an effective workout that doesn’t consist of spending an hour in some crowded gym. Of course, it does require the ability to discern between the “get fit quick” garbage and actual science.

An abundance of physiological research has discovered one key fact relating to exercise and fitness: time doesn’t matter as much as effort. There’s another critical fact: high-intensity, short-duration workouts are among the most effective for gaining strength and losing weight.

This article will discuss a routine that will help you gain strength and torch fat. Moreover, you

won’t need a gym
do not need weights
will work out at home.

Here is the 14-minute workout that’ll get you going without further ado.

How to Get Stronger and Slimmer In Less Than 15 Minutes

Instructions:

Perform the routine three times per week
Do each exercise for forty seconds; rest for ten seconds; move on the next
Don’t worry about performing a hundred reps right away. What’s most important is trying your best to maintain form throughout each movement.
You’ll notice that many exercises begin in the plank position. The plank position is the starting pushup position – arms, legs, and back straight.

Exercises

(Note: illustrations and demonstrations of the exercises mentioned here are available online.)

1. Bicycle Scissor Kicks

Starting position: Lie on your back, legs straight, fingertips behind the head.

Motion: (I) Raise left leg directly over hips while raising the right shoulder and rotating the elbow towards the knee. (II) Lower the left leg while lifting the right leg and rotating the left elbow towards the knee. (III) Alternate.

2. Plank Walk To Pushup

Starting Position: Plank position with hands under shoulders and feet together.

Motion: (I) Position left hand next to right hand while spreading right foot about hip-width from left foot. (II) Move to the right for two feet, then lower into a pushup. (III) Repeat movement to the opposite side (motions I & II constitute one repetition).

3. Squat to lunge

Starting position: Feet shoulder-width apart, knees bent, hips lowered into a squatting position.

Motion: (I) Move left leg back and bend the knee (a “reverse lunge”). The upper body and right shin should be parallel as much as possible. (II) Get back to squat position and repeat.

4. Jab-Cross

Starting position: Feet staggered, knees bent, hips angled slightly to the right side—fists at chin level.

Motion: (I) Punch straight with the left hand. (II)Rotating the right foot, punch straight out with the right fist while turning the palm. (III) Continue for 15 seconds, switch feet starting position, and repeat.

5. Side Lunge To Jump

Starting position: Standing, position your right leg approximately two shoulder widths apart from the right shoulder. Elbows are bent, and hands are together. Both feet facing forward, lower the hips while bending the right knee and straightening the left leg.

Motion: (I) Step back with the right leg and stand; jump while raising hands overhead. (II) That’s one repetition; switch and continue alternating sides.

6. Pushup to kick-over

Starting position: In plank position with hands under shoulders; feet hip-width apart.

Motion: (I) Raise your left hand while extending your arm; sweep your right leg under the body and move it in a kicking motion to the opposite side. (II) Return to plank position and lower body into a pushup. Alternate and repeat.

7. Double crunch

Starting position: Lying flat on a surface with arms fully extended overhead.

Motion: (I) Tightening the abdominal area, lift your back straight up while moving your knees into the chest. “Sweep” arms low to the ground while touching your feet or holding your shins. (II) Return to starting position and repeat.

8. High knees

Starting position: Elbows bent, shoulders relaxed, moving into a slow- to fast-paced jogging motion.

Motions: (I) Maintaining a jogging motion, progressively lift your knees higher until the leg is at a 90-degree angle. (II) If comfortable with movement (I), lift knees until they are above the waistline.

7 Lifestyle Changes to Help You Get Slimmer (Besides Exercise)

1. Eat more protein.

If you’re looking to get slimmer, consider adding more protein intake to your diet. Protein increases satiety for longer durations, reduces hunger, and fewer calories consumed. Several hormones contribute to feelings of hunger and satiety, including GLP-1 and ghrelin.

The research discovered that when study participants increased protein from 15 to 30% of overall calories, they ate 441 fewer calories daily. They also lost 11 pounds for 12 weeks without cutting out any food groups.

Some ideas for protein-rich foods include eggs, chicken breasts, fish such as salmon, lentils, beans, quinoa, and meat substitutes if you’re vegan/vegetarian. Eating a protein-rich breakfast, in particular, will help you eat fewer calories throughout the day.

2. Don’t buy unhealthy foods or hide them from sight.

If you buy cheat foods at the grocery store, place them out of sight when you get cravings. This way, you may forget they’re even in the house, and you can maintain your diet to get slimmer. Studies have found that keeping unhealthy foods in plain view may increase hunger and calories consumed. Another study even found that those who store snack foods on countertops weighed more than participants who kept a bowl of fruit on the table.

We’re not saying that you should never enjoy junk foods because everyone deserves treats now and then. But, if you’re trying to lose weight, keeping snacks in the house will only test your willpower and perhaps hinder any progress. So it’s best to store unhealthy foods in cupboards or cabinets where you can’t see them.

3. Consume plenty of fiber to get slimmer.

It’s well-documented that eating more fiber improves digestion and gut health while also helping you stay trim. Since fiber takes longer to digest, it helps increase satiety and reduces overall calories consumed. Viscous fiber, in particular, can help you get slimmer since it forms a gel in your gut, which slows digestion and increases nutrient absorption.

You’ll find this type of fiber in plant foods such as oats, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, oranges, flax seeds, and beans. However, all kinds of fiber can help you lose weight and reduce body fat. Other sources of fiber include blackberries, apples, broccoli, pears, strawberries, avocados, raspberries, carrots, and peas.

4. Drink more water.

Most people interested in getting slimmer know that they need to drink plenty of water throughout the day. If you drink water before eating a meal or snack, it can reduce the calories you consume and help you feel fuller. One study found that participants who drank water before eating lost 44% more weight over three months than the control group. Those who replaced high-calorie beverages such as soda or juice with water had even better results.

You should drink about three liters of water per day, and even more, if you exercise vigorously. If you work outdoors in hot climates, remember to stay hydrated throughout the day and take frequent water breaks.

5. Eat smaller portions.

It’s no secret that American portion sizes have gotten huge in the past few decades. Many people find that they have leftovers for a couple of days after eating at a restaurant.

So, if you’re trying to get slimmer, it’s probably best to eat at home most of the time. This way, you can control your portions and the calories in the meals.

One study found that adults who ate a dinner appetizer twice the standard size consumed 30% more calories. One effective way to eat smaller portions is to serve food on smaller plates. Then you won’t feel tempted to eat more than you need to feel satisfied.

6. Eliminate distractions at mealtimes to get slimmer.

Sadly, we’re more distracted than ever in the modern world, which can lead to eating more calories. For instance, people who eat while watching TV or playing on their phones may not know how much they’re consuming. A meta-analysis revealed that people who weren’t mindful during a meal ate nearly 10% more.

As you eat, pay attention to each bite of food while you chew. If you slow down while eating and take time to savor your meal, you’ll feel more satisfied with fewer calories. Also, practicing gratitude for the sunlight, farmers, and grocers who helped prepare your meal will help you feel more appreciative while eating.

7. Get plenty of sleep and practice stress management.

If you want to get slimmer, you shouldn’t overlook adequate sleep and stress management. Studies reveal that sleep deprivation could cause hormones such as leptin and ghrelin to become imbalanced. In addition, cortisol increases when you lose sleep, making you crave unhealthy, high-calorie foods for quick energy.

Chronic sleep problems and stress can elevate your risk of developing diseases such as obesity and diabetes.

So, make sure to have a sleep routine in place and turn off technology a couple of hours before bed. Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation to lower your stress levels and prepare your body and mind for restful sleep. Prioritize your health, and you’ll find that getting slimmer isn’t nearly as difficult when the body and mind are synchronized.

Final Thoughts on a New and Slimmer You

Being slimmer doesn’t entail spending hours per week at your local gym. Of course, some exercise each week is recommended to keep your body and mind healthy. But, other aspects of health are just as important, such as eating a balanced diet, managing stress, and getting plenty of sleep.

If you don’t enjoy gym workouts, you can easily exercise at home using only your body weight for resistance. The workout above is a great total body workout that you can complete in 15 minutes or less. Hopefully, these tips will help guide you down the path to a new, slimmer you (but you right now are perfect already!)

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!