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How To Let Go And Move On From Toxic Friendships

February 25, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Us humans, by nature, are highly social creatures. Most of us appreciate and enjoy being in the company of our social circle – a quality that allows us to share personal experiences with others. A good example of this common characteristic is the relatively recent explosion of various social networking tools; something that illustrates the strong human desire for social belonging and interaction. Toxic friendships don’t help us reach that goal…at all.

“Relationships are – not surprisingly – enormously important for health, and there are lots of studies on the biological processes that account for the link between relationships and health.” – Dr. Arthur Aron, director of the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at Stony Brook University

Evolutionary scientists and neuroscientists cite the evolutionary processes of the brain to articulate the mechanisms that drive one’s need for social inclusion. The neocortex, the outermost layer of the brain, is much larger in humans than in other mammals – and is the main component that stimulates “higher social cognition…as well as empathy and theory of mind – the ability to understand the feelings and intentions of others.”

“…the ability to understand the feelings and intentions of others” encompasses our ability to empathize” – an important aspect of maintaining healthy relationships.

This is a function where some fall short.

Despite the overwhelming neurobiological evidence concluding the human need for social inclusion, it says nothing about the desire to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

As we are all now well-aware, relationships – and hence, people – can be counterproductive to our mental and physical health.

In this article, we focus primarily on friendships, the type of relationship when some of us interact the most. More specifically, we’re going to discuss what constitutes a “toxic friendship” and how to rid yourself of this type of person.

What ARE “toxic friendships”?

To answer the preceding question, it may be advantageous to explain what a friend does:

– A person that makes you happier.

– A person that raises you up.

– A person that sticks with you “through thick and thin.”

– A person that will be honest with you, no matter how difficult it may be.

– A person that sees your potential, even if you may not.

– A person that encourages you to be your best.

Toxic friendships avoid doing these things.

They’ll hurt you, and rarely apologize; they’ll expect your loyalty without reciprocating the same; they’ll take and take, but never give; they’ll create and escalate drama; they’ll take the spotlight from you (and others) and put it back on themselves…and on.

In other words, their actions and words do not remotely demonstrate what a friend is and should be.

Why “breaking up” from toxic friendships can be hard.

Remember the quote defining one aspect of friendship: “…the ability to understand the feelings and intentions of others”?

Well, ironically, this virtuous quality dwelling within the majority of us can make it difficult to “end it” with those that lack such a mindset. Regardless of the toxic person’s tasteless actions, behaviors and words, some of us find it hard to “confront” such a person in fear of hurting them.

Why it’s not necessary to “break up.”

Assuming that the toxic person’s offense was not so egregious as to confront and end it then and there, we can choose instead to divert and revert our energy towards others.

Among one of their many negative traits, toxic people can quickly diminish our energy levels. Toxic people do this in one of two ways: through your interactions with them or your anticipatory response to anything they may throw at you in the future. “What will I do if he/she does this/that?,” “How can I act in a way that doesn’t hurt them?” These are all questions that victims of toxic friendships often ask themselves.”

Well, we’re here to tell you that this expenditure of energy is unnecessary. Instead of depleting your finite energy reserves, make a conscious decision to spend more time with those that lift you up.

Forget the common perception that a “line must be drawn” if you do not wish to attempt such (although you may if desired.) Make a conscious choice to reduce your energy on a toxic person, and spend it on a great person or friend who exudes the qualities that you want in a companion.

Spend time and energy with people that make you feel better!

References:
Johnson, T. D. (2011, March 01). Healthy relationships lead to better lives. Retrieved February 13, 2017, from http://thenationshealth.aphapublications.org/content/41/2/20.full
Vrticka, P. (2013, September 16). Evolution of the ‘Social Brain’ in Humans: What Are the Benefits and Costs of Belonging to a Social Species? Retrieved February 13, 2017, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pascal-vrticka/human-social-development_b_3921942.html

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

11 Signs The World Is Awakening Right Now

February 18, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Although it might seem like the world is going into crisis mode, if you look beneath the surface, you’ll notice a worldwide movement toward peace and justice happening. Every part of this Earth that needs healing is coming to the surface, and as they say, it only gets worse before it gets better. The riots and protests happening all around the world about various social, political, and cultural issues show that people want change, and they won’t stop until their voices are heard.

The world might seem like a dark place to live in right now, but this is actually a time of grand healing and transformation, in many aspects of life. If you have been feeling depressed, anxious, alone, scared, or vulnerable, please know that many of us are right there with you. It’s easy to feel lost and want to give up sometimes, but there IS a global movement happening as more people are realizing the cruelty, injustice, and division present in our world today.

With that said, here are a few signs of such an awakening happening, as many around the world report similar “symptoms.”

11 Signs The World Is Experiencing An Awakening

1. Feeling restless and on edge

People all over report feeling anxious and on edge for no apparent reason; they just feel that something big is about to happen, but they can’t put their finger on it. As unrest spreads across the globe, more and more people feel anxious about the state of the world, and rightfully so. Many of us just want peace, happiness, and abundance for all, and the fact that history seems to repeat itself makes so many of us feel powerless in our attempts to enact real change.

People around the world (ourselves at PoP included) want justice and freedom, but don’t know how to go about getting it, which creates frustration, anxiety, and fear.

2. Feeling tired all the time

Life today can get pretty exhausting, with all the responsibilities and chores we have to take care of. Not to mention, working 40+ hours a week just to barely scrape by adds another layer of exhaustion to our already tired souls. If you have noticed odd sleeping patterns, such as feeling more tired in the day, waking up in the middle of the night, or simply not being able to fall asleep, know that you are not alone in this. Many of today suffer from sleeping problems and feeling exhausted much of the time due to the strains that modern life puts upon us.

3. Heightened sensitivity

This is another huge sign of a global spiritual awakening, as many of us feel more sensitive to lights, noises, and busy places. Maybe you suddenly feel very anxious and uncomfortable in large, crowded places, but you never noticed this before. Maybe loud noises and bright lights are especially bothersome to you, and you try to avoid them as much as possible. Some of us don’t even like to leave our houses much of the time due to all of the overwhelming stimuli in the world today. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you; it’s just another symptom of awakening that we all are experiencing together.

4. Overwhelmed by technology

A lot of us really can’t stand computers, phones, or TVs for long periods of time anymore. The harmful waves that they emit are becoming overwhelming to many technology users, leaving them feeling frazzled, tired, and out of touch with those around them. In other words, it just feels like interference, or clouding of the brain. If you feel this way when you use your cell phone or computer, try taking frequent breaks so you don’t feel the effects quite so strongly afterwards.

5. Short attention span

This one isn’t really a shocker, as our fast-paced, constantly connected world leaves many of us with endless distractions. We have so much information to sift through on our phones and computers, not to mention the world around us, that it leaves our brains in a state of overdrive.

Apparently, humans have a shorter attention span than goldfish, coming in at 8 seconds. Goldfish, in comparison, have an attention span of 9 seconds. Obviously, if we all unplugged a bit more and tried leading slower-paced lives, we might be able to reverse this trend of shortening attention spans.

6. Going through more intense emotions

If it seems like your emotions are all over the place and you can’t sort through them effectively, you are not alone. We all feel this way at one time or another, as there is so much destruction and chaos happening on our planet right now. In any given day, you might feel waves of anger, sadness, loss, confusion, guilt, happiness, anxiety, stress, paranoia, etc, and continue cycling through these emotions. This is a normal part of awakening as a globe as we figure out how to deal with all of these issues that affect our daily lives, as well as the future of our planet. Not to mention, many of us are still trying to work through our past and deal with the present, which brings up many different emotions.

7. Questioning the “right” path

If you thought you knew the right path for you, but now feel confused about which way to go, don’t beat yourself up for it. Many of us are going through the same things and really trying to figure out how to live a life of true contentment, freedom, and abundance, as we all deserve. People are leaving relationships, jobs, and other things that no longer serve them, in search of what will really make them happy.

Don’t worry if your “right” changes from year to year, or even day to day; ultimately, you just have to go with your gut feeling and forget about pleasing the rest of the world.

8. Changes in appetite

You feel hungry some days, but at strange hours, not so hungry the next day, and sometimes, you don’t even know what you want to eat. Sound familiar? Well, don’t jump to conclusions just yet – it might just be another symptom of global awakening. Many of us are now aware of the toxicity present in our global food and water supply, and as such, tend to crave foods that are nourishing for our minds, bodies, and souls. That, of course, means different things to different people.

Some feel drawn to a raw vegan lifestyle, others just a vegan lifestyle, and still others a vegetarian or mostly plant-based diet. Go with what feels right for you, and only eat when you truly feel like it. If you’re more hungry one day than another, don’t question it too much. It likely is just your body attempting to find balance.

9. Frequent headaches

Another symptom people are reporting more often is severe headaches or migraines, for no apparent reason. It might even happen while you’re just relaxing at home, not thinking about much at all. We can only speculate about the cause, but it might just be due to the increasing stressors in the world and the global unrest occurring. If you notice yourself getting more frequent headaches, try to keep a journal of when they happen, as this could help you to determine the cause.

10. Feeling disassociated from yourself and reality

An overwhelming number of people don’t feel connected to much of anything in our current reality, even themselves. We’re all in search of answers, trying to find our own personal truths in this world. Many of us don’t exactly like to the current world we live in, so disassociation happens as a coping mechanism for reality.

11. Feeling paralyzed

In this case, it isn’t a physical symptom, but more of a mental thing that causes us to shut down. We feel pulled in so many different directions, and there’s so many paths we could take that we just tend to stop in our tracks and not do anything at all. We often don’t know where to turn and get overwhelmed with life, so we simply feel we can’t keep going. If this feels like you, just remember to take time to get in touch with your inner self, and rest as much as you possibly can. We’re all in this together; don’t ever forget that.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Natural Remedies For Psoriasis

February 18, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“Psoriasis can make you itchy and uncomfortable. Treating it can be annoying and time-consuming. But some of the worst effects of psoriasis is emotional. You may feel like your psoriasis gets in the way of your relationships. It can make people treat your strangely.” – WebMD

Psoriasis is a chronic skin condition that affects 7.5 million Americans, and 125 million people worldwide. Physical signs of psoriasis include: cracked, dry and (possibly) bleeding skin; burning, itching or soreness; red patches of scaled skin; small scaling spots; swollen and stiff joints; thickened or ridged nails, and others. Various types of psoriasis exist, each with their own unique symptoms. These symptoms range widely; from mild itching and discomfort, to high fever and chills. The physical symptoms of the condition can be extremely painful.

Psoriasis can also severely impact one’s psychological health. The skin condition often makes the patient feel excluded and isolated, potentially manifesting into high levels of stress. Relatedly, there is some evidence that stress renders any prescribed treatment less effective. Worse, up to 49 percent of psoriasis cases go untreated. Obviously. treatment of the physical symptoms is already a problem. As such, chances are the associated psychological symptoms are, as well.

There is no cure for psoriasis, but there are plenty of natural, at-home treatments that can help alleviate symptoms. We discuss five such treatments here.

5 Natural Treatments for Psoriasis

1. Soaking treatments

Certain products – oils, Epsom salts, colloidal oatmeal, and Dead Sea salts – have been effective for some in removing scales, and easing itching and burning symptoms. These products are most effective when added to warm (not hot) water and soaked in for about 15 minutes.

The National Psoriasis Foundation recommends Dead Sea salts or Epsom salts as potentially the most beneficial. Following the soak, it is important to apply moisturizer immediately.

Use about a quarter-cup of salt at normal bathwater levels.

2. Moisturizing treatments

The burning, itching and scratching sensations are induced by drying of the skin. These symptoms exacerbate skin problems and makes the condition worse. As such, it is important to keep affected parts of the skin moisturized throughout the day.

Aloe Vera gel has been shown to alleviate the redness and scaling symptoms of psoriasis. The National Psoriasis Foundation (NFP) recommends using creams that contain at least 0.5% aloe. Aloe Vera gels and creams can be safely applied to the skin up to three times a day.

NPF notes “No benefit has been shown from taking aloe in tablet form and it can be dangerous.”

3. Capsaicin treatments

Capsaicin is the ingredient in chili peppers that gives them their spice. According to a study from the University Medical Center, Freiburg, in Germany, skin creams containing capsaicin may alleviate physical symptoms such as inflammation, pain, skin redness, and scaling.

Furthermore, when the ingredient is supplemented with ointments and skin creams, capsaicin can block the pain receptors in nerve endings. This may reduce some of the pain symptoms.

4. Vinegar treatments

Apple cider vinegar has been used for centuries as a disinfectant, and it may also be effective in relieving itching and irritation of the skin. The product can be purchased at nearly any supermarket, and is relatively inexpensive.

Application of the treatment depends upon the individual. Importantly, those with cracked or bleeding skin should not use this remedy. Applying vinegar to an open wound will further irritate the skin, and exacerbate any burning sensation.

5. Fish Oil treatments

Taking an Omega-3 fish oil supplement – or eating at least a couple of services of albacore tuna, salmon, and other fatty fishes – can help to reduce the inflammatory effects of psoriasis. In some studies, consumption of fish oils links to a decreased risk of cardiovascular disease and an improved immune system.

As mentioned, psoriasis is an autoimmune disease, and this natural treatment may help provide a boost to the immune system. In effect, this may help alleviate some of the physical symptoms of the condition.

Final Note

It is important to carefully wrap the skin following application of a moisturizer, cream, or ointment. Firstly, this allows the product to better penetrate the affected skin area’s surface. Second, it increases the timeframe of the product’s effectiveness.

References
Mayo Clinic Staff. Psoriasis Symptoms. (2015, June 17). Retrieved January 13, 2017, from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/psoriasis/basics/symptoms/con-20030838
The National Psoriasis Foundation. (2016). Herbs/Natural Remedies. Retrieved January 13, 2017, from https://www.psoriasis.org/treating-psoriasis/complementary-and-alternative/herbal-remedies
WebMD, Jaliman, D., MD (Ed.). (2016). Coping With Emotions Regarding Psoriasis: Depression, Isolation, Stress, and More. Retrieved January 13, 2017, from http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/psoriasis/coping-with-psoriasis#2

6 Behaviors That Create Egotistical People

February 18, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Egotists are generally considered those who have an insatiable desire to demonstrate their own self-importance. Egotism is the opposite of humility. Whether or not this attitude is warranted is irrelevant; although most times it is not. Boastfulness is not an admirable trait, regardless of one’s status in life. Egotists apparently didn’t get the memo. “Conceited,” “boastful,” “prideful,” “self-centered,” “arrogant,” are all ways that egotists are often described by others. When in conversation, egotists will almost always try to redirect the conversation back to themselves and talk about their supposed successes, accomplishments, and achievements. How does one define egotistical? Simply put, they need to look good – and they feed off other people’s validation.

Describing behavior through this egotistical definition makes it seem eerily similar to behaviors displayed by narcissistic individuals. The underlying psychological drivers that link these two groups are self-centeredness and lack of empathy. Most times, they see other people not as “people,” but as a means to an end.

When we witness someone with narcissistic tendencies, many of us ask the one-worded question “Why?”

So why do these folks act in such an excessively individualistic manner? Furthermore, the same applies to an egotistical person. What drives their words and behavior? What molds their state of mind?

Here, we discuss six behaviors that may create egotistical people. We’ll attempt to delve into and analyze the mind of someone with an egotistical streak. Hopefully, this article will help clarify some of the basic psychology that may form an egotistical mindset.

HERE ARE THE SIX BEHAVIORS THAT CREATE EGOTIST

1. LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM

Ironic as it may sound, most egotists do not have a very positive self-image. They acutely recognize their insecurities and attempt to camouflage these insecurities by forcing a false persona – one of competence and confidence – in a desperate attempt to conceal their real state of mind.

Low self-esteem is nothing to laugh at; it is a leading cause of anxiety, depression, and a number of other psychological disorders. If only egotists that suffer from this problem would realize that it’s okay to be fallible and human. In fact, it’s the only way to maintain a healthy mindset.

2. MEGALOMANIACAL THOUGHT PATTERNS

Having high expectations of oneself is a healthy and productive frame of mind. However, spending a lot of time thinking about how one’s greatness will far exceed anything conceivably realistic is not healthy or fruitful.

Exaggerated and elaborate visions of grandeur are actually classified as a mental disorder known as megalomania. Moreover, egotists often possess varying degrees of these thoughts.

3. PENCHANT FOR EXAGGERATION AND DRAMATIZATION

As mentioned, egotists have an insatiable desire to make themselves appear important to impress others. As such, they’ll often exaggerate and dramatically overstate various aspects of their life.

If an egotist perceives their life’s progress as inadequate – a common characteristic of such people – they’ll embellish anything and everything in order to make up for this “gap.” Should someone call them out, they’ll frequently overreact in a desperate attempt to get people to buy whatever they’re selling.

4. AN AURA OF SUPERIORITY

Egotistical behavior, by its dictionary definition, is concerned with believing oneself to be superior. An egotist may actually believe they’re more attractive, intelligent, rational, (fill in the trait here) than anyone else.

Psychologists believe that this stems from a compulsive need to “match” someone else’s perceived qualities. It’s interesting to note that egotists are often highly-accomplished individuals; however, their unquenchable (often irrational) desire to supersede anyone else remains evident.

5. NEEDING THE LIMELIGHT

Part of an egotist’s ravenous need for validation is apparent in their conversations with others. When the topic of conversation does not involve them, an egotist cannot help but intercede in a desperate attempt to redirect the spotlight.

This is childish behavior to the highest degree. However, an egotist doesn’t perceive it this way. A conversation that doesn’t revolve around them is not worth having or participating in.

6. NEEDING TO FEEL AN EXAGGERATED SENSE OF CONTROL

Unsurprisingly, many egotists believe that their way is the best way. Even worse, they believe it is the only way. If an egotist detects a loss of control – often perceived as an act of disrespect – they’re quick to become angry and defensive.

Such attitudes and behaviors are most apparent in a group setting. Many workplaces appreciate and understand the importance of teamwork in accomplishing a common task or goal. However, the notion that “two heads are better than one” is distant and imperceptible for those with an egotistical streak.

How to Train Your Brain to Avoid Depression

February 18, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Depression is one of the most frightening forms of mental illness to encounter, both as a person experiencing it and watching someone else go through it. When you are suffering, you see no hope, even if people are available to help you. Plus, when you see someone else suffering, you may try to help, but they are unwilling to accept help.

To learn how to train your brain to avoid depression, you must throw out the idea that you can only help those who can help themselves. Sometimes, we can’t help ourselves, and we need a helping hand to lift us. Asking for help can be difficult, but mental illness can kill when it becomes bad enough for a person to consider suicide.

If you or someone you know needs help now, text ‘GO’ or ‘HELP’ to 741741 for free, confidential help immediately. The text Crisis Helpline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The crisis line is prepared to help with issues of abuse, depression, anxiety, grief, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, and other problems that you may consider a crisis in your personal life.

Beginning to Train Your Brain to Avoid Depression

When you think about feelings of sadness, you are most likely thinking about something that has happened in the past, and you can’t seem to get past it. Moving forward, you must shift your focus to the future instead.

What has already happened cannot be changed. You can relive it or think about how you wish it could have been different, but continuing to relive the negative events of the past won’t help anything.

If you want to move on from the past, you must process what happened and take action right now in the present moment, which will lead you to a better future. For example, if you are dealing with a divorce, there are many negative aspects to focus on, and none of it will change the fact that you are divorcing.

Instead of focusing on that negative, make a list of positive traits that your perfect partner should have. The list is one positive step in the right direction. Keep the momentum going.

Picture the Movie of Your Depression Starring: You

Tell the story of your mental illness, including the events that led up to this current mindset of sadness. If your life story were only 15 minutes long, determine how much time this current depressed mood took up.

There was your childhood, teenage years, adulthood, and the epic moments that would be essential chapters in your story. Then, this bad thing happened. Now write the next scene where you overcome seemingly insurmountable hardship to go forward victoriously toward your happy ending.

Avoid Trying to Be the Best

Researchers say that competition and the drive to be the best may lead to depressed thoughts when or if we are unsuccessful in fulfilling our own high expectations for ourselves. The research shows that “When people feel insecure in their social environments, it can focus them on a hierarchical view of themselves and others, with a fear of rejection if they feel they have become too inferior or subordinate. This may increase vulnerability to depression, anxiety and stress.”

If you feel like you’re less than someone else, quit making comparisons. You are a unique and beautiful being, and no one has had the same experiences as you.

14 Healthy Habits That Also Support Brain Health and Help Avoid Depression

There are many ways you can avoid or alleviate the issues while also supporting brain health. You don’t have to do all of these tips, but choose ones that you find enjoyable and relaxing.

1. Visit Somewhere New

Traveling gives you an open mind and heart, allowing you to embrace the positivity all around you. While you might not always be able to go far away, you can visit a town nearby that you’ve never seen before. Seeing a new place can give you a fresh perspective and help you process your thoughts.

2. Focus on the Positive

Your mindset can help you avoid mental health issues. If you stay positive rather than complaining or fixating on the negative, it’ll help you maintain peace. Complaining leaves you stuck in a negative loop, leading to depression and anxiety.

You can control your mind, but you must be willing to shift your thoughts first. Don’t blame others for your feelings because you are the only one in control.

3. Learn Something

Even if you already have the career of your dreams, there’s always more to learn. Learning can help you feel better as it expands your knowledge and gives you purpose. It also reminds you what you’re capable of.

You don’t have to take a full college course for the benefits, either. Find videos or tutorials online to teach you some new tips about your interests. However, if you’re dedicated enough, you can even put your energy into learning a new language.

4. Avoid Overthinking to Beat Depression

Overthinking is a sure way to become depressed. If you can avoid overthinking, it benefits your brain and allows you to steer clear of mental illness. Overthinking is a dangerous habit that affects your thoughts and overall well-being.

When you constantly overthink things, you can’t live in the present. It means you’re fixated on the past and anxious about the future. Pushing those thoughts away can help you focus on the people and things around you right now.

Everyone overthinks sometimes, but you must find a way to let go. When your thoughts threaten to take over, do something that’ll keep you busy until you can overcome them.

5. Do Something Kind for Someone

Doing something for another person is a great way to make yourself feel better. It makes you think about something other than your problems and sadness. Plus, being kind to others promotes a sense of well-being within you.

Find someone who needs your help or a cause that inspires you. Then, see what you can do to make a beneficial change.

Your kindness could be picking up trash from the side of the road or helping a local charity. Or, you could help someone with a task they struggle with.

6. Get Enough Sleep

Sleep improves brain function and prevents mental illness. Getting enough rest is essential for keeping the brain sharp, and it helps you perform better in social situations. You’ll also remember things better and learn quicker.

Your body requires high-quality sleep for your overall health. Research shows that people who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to become depressed than others. If you struggle to fall asleep at night, try avoiding screen-time two hours before bed and avoid caffeine in the afternoon.

7. Stay Busy to Minimize Depression

When you feel like you can’t control your thoughts and feel negativity creeping in, do what you can to keep yourself busy. If you stay busy, you won’t think troublesome thoughts as often, and you’ll forget about your problems for a while. Start staying busy by putting your time and energy into the things important to you right now.

If you aren’t sure where to get started or you’ve already tackled the essentials, there are plenty of other things you can do. Start by finding a new hobby or picking up an old one that you stopped doing in the past. You can do a project or find something productive that you’ve been putting off for a while.

Whatever you choose to do, make sure it keeps your mind busy. It’ll help push away the thoughts that contribute to mental illness while helping you focus on the good all around you.

8. Think About Your Social Circle

The people you spend your time with can make a big difference in your life and overall well-being. If the people you spend your time with have a negative attitude, they aren’t the best for your mental health. You might notice that they make fun of people, gossip, or behave in ways that don’t align with your values.

Don’t ignore any of the red flags you see in the people in your life. Distance yourself from toxic people who don’t spend their time and energy on beneficial ideas and tasks. Plus, stop spending time with people who make you feel bad about yourself.

Distancing yourself from toxic people isn’t the only thing you should do regarding your social circle. Focus on building strong relationships with like-minded people. They can still have different opinions and backgrounds than you, but they should have a positive mindset.

Additionally, the people you spend your time with should support you and build you up. Research shows that having social support can protect you from mental illness. Stay in contact with friends and family who love and support you, even when life gets busy.

If you need to meet new people, consider joining a club or picking up a new hobby. You’ll meet other people who want to do productive things with their time, increasing your chances of meeting positive people.

9. Beat Depression by Implementing a Healthier Diet

Your diet affects your brain, potentially causing mental health issues. High-fat diets affect your body in the same way that chronic stress does. When you aren’t eating healthily, you miss out on essential vitamins and nutrients that help your brain.

Eating a healthy diet improves your brain health while helping you avoid mental illness. The nutrients and vitamins also help you think more clearly, allowing you to work through your feelings positively.

A healthy diet requires eliminating high-sugar, high-fat, and processed foods. Instead, eat lean protein, fruits, and vegetables. Aim for foods with omega-3 fatty acids, such as nuts or salmon.

10. Reduce Your Time on Social Media

Sometimes social media is too much for your mind, but you can quickly make a change. Studies show that too much social media can cause depression. It also decreases your self-esteem and can be addicting.

If social media is necessary for staying connected with loved ones, you can still limit your time. Cut back on your daily use, and be aware of when you think it’s affecting you. If you notice negative thinking as you scroll, force yourself to close the app and do something else.

If you can’t help but click on the app when you get on your phone, consider deleting it. Then, you’ll have to log in to the website on a browser, making you less likely to start scrolling habitually.

11. Exercise Regularly

Exercise is one of the best ways to train your brain to avoid mental illness. You can do whatever activity you want, including running, strength training, or yoga. Whatever exercise gets you out of the house, makes you feel connected to your body, and gets your heart pumping will do the trick.

High-intensity exercise releases endorphins in your body, which are chemicals that make you feel good. However, even moderate or low-intensity activities help because they promote nerve cell growth. The growth improves brain function and makes you feel better, improving your mental health.

12. Reduce the Number of Choices You Have to Make Each Day

It can quickly become overwhelming and stressful if you have too many choices. When this situation occurs daily, it can lead to mental illness. Additionally, regularly wanting to make the best possible decision at a moment’s notice can cause depression.

Minimizing the number of decisions you have to make each day helps you avoid depression. Even small choices can cause problems when there are too many of them. Minimizing your last-minute choices can make all the difference, but you can simplify your life.

Start by eliminating simple decisions, such as what you’ll wear to work or eat for breakfast. You can make these choices ahead of time by planning and preparing the night before. It eliminates some of the decision-making of your morning, helping you start on a less stressful note.

13. Minimize Stress to Manage Your Depression

Frequent stress is one of the leading causes of depression, so minimizing it is essential to your mental health. Some of the ways you can manage stress are to:

Avoid overcommitting yourself
Let go of things you can’t control
Practice mindfulness
Meditate
Plan for unavoidable triggers
Avoid procrastination

14. Eliminate or Reduce Alcohol, Drugs, and Nicotine

Frequently drinking alcohol is associated with higher risks of depression, so limit your alcohol intake. Drug use also causes mental illness, and you’ll want to eliminate the use.

Additionally, smoking cigarettes can trigger depression, although you might want nicotine when you’re unhappy. Quitting nicotine can drastically improve your mood and reduce your risk, but it isn’t easy. However, you can do it if you stay focused and ask others to hold you accountable.

Final Thoughts on Train Your Brain to Avoid Depression but Not Your Emotions

Negative thoughts and emotions are normal, even though some people think that avoiding all negative thoughts prevents depression. However, researchers in the Journal of Personality found that an “inclination toward thought suppression is associated with obsessive thinking and emotional reactivity.”

To avoid depressing thoughts, try to learn to observe negative emotions as they happen while also acknowledging the good things about yourself. Don’t let your negative thoughts dictate your life or cause depression.

40 Things Every Woman Should Have By Age 40

February 18, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Every woman has unique goals and dreams. Many set a specific set of goals to reach by the age of forty.

“The French are true romantics. They feel the only difference between a man of forty and one of seventy is thirty years of experience.” – Maurice Chevalier

While Mr. Chevalier may or may not be accurate in his assessment of female differences in thirty years, it is nonetheless thought-provoking. It is an inevitable fact that time brings about experience. When we’re born, we see the light for the first time, and when we first begin learning, our minds begin evolving. Once we arrive at mid-life, we begin to appreciate its finite nature…and on, and on.

Are there some things that every woman “should” experience by age 40?

Of course, this is a highly subjective proposition.

However, we – at times, tongue-in-cheek – say that this milestone brings about, at the least, a standard set of experiences shared by women that reach age 40.

Here, we take a look at 40 things every woman “should” or may have experienced after four decades of life on this planet. However, we also realize that men may question what they should accomplish–and we address them in a companion article.

Without further delay, 40 things every woman “should have” by age 40:

As you read, please understand that these are suggestions, not rules. These do not necessarily reflect someone’s level of achievement in life.

1. Had such an emotionally-powerful kiss that it will continually remind you of the word “passion.”

2. Had a lover that knew how, when and where to “touch” you in a way that left you in awe and anticipation.

3. An understanding of your family’s medical history (i.e., health genetics) that enables you to take appropriate steps to preserve your well-being.

4. Knowledge of how to confront a friend or someone else close to you without losing self-control.

5. A young child, not your own, that has looked to you for support, compassion, and/or guidance.

6. A place you can call “your own” – one that allows you to remain in comfortable silence with your thoughts.

7. Knowledge of how to cook at least one relatively complicated dish – to at least “acceptable” quality.

8. Having at least one good friend that, inevitably, makes you laugh…

9. And at least one friend that, nonjudgmentally, lets you bawl your eyes out.

10. Something too expensive that you bought, not impulsively, but because you deserved it.

11. Had a dream or vision of yourself so extraordinary that it actually scared you.

12. an experience so enamoring that you’ll gladly retell it in your late years.

13. The realization that old age is inevitable, and you must have a way of funding it.

14. An emotional scar, while deeply entrenched via pain, has strengthened your character.

15. An outfit so lovely that you’d unabashedly wear it in front of anyone, at any time.

16. A routine activity that you do for you, and you alone.

17. Knowing that while your parents made mistakes, they often did their best with what they had.

18. Memories that make you wince; ones that help you appreciate the ones that make you gleeful.

19. Kept a journal or personal record of your deepest thoughts and feelings.

20. A friend you can call at any time to help you out of a jam.

21. Something – a piece of jewelry, a tattoo, a gift, anything – brings a heavy sense of sentimentality.

22. Knowing what you will and will not find personally acceptable in any relationship.

23. A well-kept secret that immediately brings about a smile.

24. An older woman in your life that possesses characteristics you wish to emulate.

25. A sense of spirituality (read: not religiosity) that both nourishes and teaches.

26. A song or musical piece that brings that defines you…

27. Or makes you want to sing at the top of your lungs.

28. A “to-do” list that may or may not be completely checked off is okay.

29. A higher purpose that enables you to roll out of bed even on the toughest of days.

30. A thorough understanding of who you are as a woman – and the potential implications of this knowledge.

31. Accomplish something that nobody can ever take away from you, regardless of circumstance.

32. A photo album, big or small, of forever cherished memories.

33. Lost someone so deeply loved that it will forever leave a void in your soul and a hole in your heart.

34. Having the ability to say “NO” without any further explanation.

35. Accepting the person you see in the mirror, imperfections and all – as they’ve likely been earned over time.

36. Any hobby or interest (yes, TV splurges count) that you can get lost in for hours…and hours.

37. A gray hair or two, or a part of your body that you’ll probably never perfect.

38. Had a romantic partner that, even if things didn’t quite work out, brought out your “wild side.”

39. A bit of money set aside, or enough resources in case of an emergency.

40. Realizing that 40 years old is by no means “old.” There’s a lot of living to be done, young lady.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Bedtime Habits of the Most Successful People

February 15, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Many of us are captivated by success. We love to read success stories, interview successful people, and learn how to become more successful. We especially love to know the “tricks” of success. Think about how much money people have made through the production of success-related media, books, CDs, DVDs, classes, conferences…the list goes on. Tony Robbins, perhaps the most notable success and self-help guru globally, is estimated to be worth nearly half of a billion dollars.

And successful people have been asked just about every question known to man: ‘What do you do in the morning?’ ‘What’s your diet like?’ ‘How do you balance work and home life?’ ‘How much do you work out? and on…and on…

Ever wonder what successful people do before bedtime? We asked this question ourselves and found some of these bedtime habits fascinating.

Ten Bedtime Routines of Highly Successful People

Here are ten things that successful people do before heading to the sack:

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” – William Shakespeare

1. They read

Behavioral experts have discovered that reading is the very last thing several successful people do before going to sleep. From business magnates like Bill Gates to national leaders like Barack Obama to fashion designers such as Vera Wang – reading is considered a non-negotiable activity for many successful individuals.

2. They have an “unwinding” ritual

One thing most successful people don’t do before bed is work. Of course, some successful people are “workaholics” and continue their work into the late hours. However, many view this as an exception to the rule. To “unwind” is also considered non-negotiable – and there are several ways to do so.

3. They do something nostalgic

Some successful people like to “take a trip down memory lane.” Doing so helps them keep things in perspective – to remember what is truly important in life. Part of success is recognizing when a mental break is needed when the body and mind require something other than the work that all-too-often makes up their day.

4. They daydream

Not a surprise here. Many successful people have attributed daydreaming – aka “mind-wandering” – to breakthroughs that have brought them to the next level of success. This is particularly true of innovators, artists, and other creatives who genuinely appreciate the power behind daydreaming. Aside from the next “big breakthrough,” some successful people will daydream about relaxing the mind, gaining inspiration and wisdom, or developing potential goals.

5. They plan for tomorrow

People that have achieved tremendous success are known for their incredible work ethic – an attribute that often involves working above and beyond the normal “9 to 5” routine. While they may not do anything too demanding before bedtime, they will plan for the next day. Not to mention, this short-time investment pays big dividends. Successful people understand this short planning time makes the execution of tomorrow’s activities clearer… and less stressful.

6. They’ll unplug from everything

Avoiding heavy work, relaxing, and recharging often requires a complete disconnect from the phone, computer, tablet, or another digital device. Further, researchers have discovered that using electronic devices before bedtime makes it much more difficult to fall asleep – an essential part of a successful person’s life.

7. They prioritize family

For many, the phrase “work-life balance” translates to “work-family balance.” For most people, including the very successful, family always comes first. Balancing a heavy workload and quality time with the spouse, kids, pets, etc., can be a difficult task at times but is often considered non-negotiable – and rightly so.

Whether family/pet time is scheduled doesn’t matter to successful people. The great ones always know who helps make them great…and make sure to reciprocate their love.

8. They practice gratefulness

Many successful people take the time to reflect on or write down things that they appreciate in their lives. Some keep a ‘gratitude journal’ to keep things in perspective and serve as a reminder for progress made in various aspects of their lives.

This is a critical habit for successful people, as their day is often riddled with stressful situations. Too much stress breeds pessimism and a pessimistic outlook is not something that successful people can afford.

9. They decompress

As mentioned, successful people too often have to handle stressful scenarios. Any person that has been exposed to high levels of stress over a long duration of time requires a certain period to decompress.

For some, this means hitting the gym. Others like to meditate, listen to relaxing music, or take a hot bath. The list is endless, but the goal is the same: decompression.

10. They abstain from booze

Not wholly abstain, but most successful people refuse to touch alcohol right before bedtime. Whether intentional or not, successful (and all) people abstaining from drinking before bedtime have improved sleep quality.

The National Institute of Health – a preeminent public health organization – has discovered that consuming alcohol before sleep “robs people of deep sleep and REM sleep and keep them in the lighter stages of sleep.”

Other Lifestyle Habits of Successful People

Besides prioritizing sleep, here are some other lifestyle habits of those who achieved great success. Adopt a few of these behaviors for yourself, and you’ll see incredible changes begin to unfold.

1. Get up early

Many well-known successful people swear that getting up early has contributed to their success. They say that rising before sunrise gets their day off to a good start and helps them maximize their time.

2. Start the day by reading a book.

If you like to read, it could signify you’re a successful person. Successful people take time to catch up on the news and ready industry information. Besides that, reading can also lead to a longer life, according to one study. Individuals who read books had a 20% reduction in mortality than people who read other materials like periodicals or online articles.

3. Check communications twice a day

It’s easy to pay attention to your smartphone or computer every time you hear a notification. Highly successful individuals don’t let the constant interruptions stop them from being productive. They make a habit of responding only once or twice a day to texts and emails.

4. Evaluate priorities

There are many things to do in life, but not everything is essential. Highly successful people make a habit of determining what’s important. They know they can’t get everything done. So, every day, they prioritize their to-do list by asking themselves this question:

Will this matter to me tomorrow? Next week? A month? A year?

They focus on what will have a long-term effect on their lives.

5. Love to learn

Successful people are lifelong learners. They are constantly looking for ways to enhance their skills or learn new skills. These folks like to challenge themselves to do difficult things that may be out of their comfort zone.

6. Practice gratitude

Those who are successful know that they are where they are today because of the support of people in their life. They practice gratitude for family, friends, and co-workers who have stood by them on their journey. Successful people find time to thank others and show appreciation because they don’t assume they could have made it without these folks’ help.

7. Monitor their wellness

Successful individuals know the value of healthy self-critic. They understand their strengths and weaknesses. They need to know where they need to change. Successful folks take responsibility for their failures and strive to improve personal growth and others’ benefit.

8. Get outside for sunshine and fresh air

Physical activity is healthy for your mind and body. It helps relieve stress and stimulates your brain. It’s no wonder that many successful people get outdoors. They may play a sport or go hiking, but they prioritize outside activity as a daily habit.

9. Jot down good ideas

A simple notepad and pen beside your bed could determine whether you become a successful person. Successful people realize that creative ideas often come right before they fall asleep. So, instead of trying to remember the vision they had, they jot down their view on the notepad at their bedside. This is a powerful way to allow your creativity to flow without fear of forgetting your concept. During the day, you can carry the notebook around with you or write your thoughts on your smartphone notes.

8 Behaviors That Help You Lose Weight Easier

February 15, 2017 by Kristen Lawrence

Losing weight is one of the most challenging things for someone to do. Even well-intentioned and driven people will frequently quit an exercise or nutrition program within a couple of months. Why? Because it can be hard. Really hard. Ask anyone that has lost a significant amount of weight just how difficult it was. Odds are they were faced with obstacle after obstacle, setback after setback, losing a bit of poundage only to put it back on again.

Then there’s this. It is not only losing unwanted pounds but keeping them off. Most of us cannot afford a physical trainer or nutritionist. Most of us must rely on ourselves to navigate this arduous path. But here’s the thing. We tend to overcomplicate the methodology (i.e., “the science) behind losing weight. Sans for someone with a type of metabolic disorder or a genetic predisposition towards obesity, most of us have subconsciously programmed ourselves to interpret the difficulties of losing weight as impossibilities. It’s not impossible if you know what you’re doing.

To this end, we’ve constructed eight simple, scientifically-validated methods of losing weight. You’ll see that none of these methods require anything beyond a bit of willpower, discipline, and knowledge.

8 Behaviors That Promote Your Weight Loss Efforts

Here are eight behaviors, attitudes, and practices that will help you lose those unwanted pounds easier:

1. Understand that 30 minutes is plenty

It’s a misguided perception that weight loss requires long workout sessions. Scientists at the University of Copenhagen cite that “no statistically significant changes were found in energy intake or non-exercise physical activity that could explain the different (results) associated with 30 vs. 60 minutes of daily aerobic exercise.”

It gets better. The same study discovered that a half-hour exercise results in 25 percent more weight loss than a full hour.

2. Learn the basics of nutrition and read those labels

Various studies demonstrate that people who understand the elements of nutrition (e.g., fats, carbohydrates, sodium) are more likely to lose weight. Understanding recommended nutrition levels such as Recommended Daily Intake (RDI) equips people with the requisite knowledge to interpret nutrition labels confidently.

Together, a basic knowledge of nutrition and a developed habit of reading food labels before purchasing food items can go a long way in propelling someone forward in meeting their weight loss goals.

3. Keep chugging that H2O

The correlation between lots of water and expedited weight loss is valid – and is so for a variety of reasons. First, drinking water increases the sense of satiety (i.e., “fullness”). Second, natural water contains zero calories – and, since consumption induces satiety – one consumes fewer calories. Naturally, this results in weight loss. Third, folks that develop a preference for water commonly replace other sugar- and calorie-laden beverages (e.g., beer, soda).

Bottom line: drinking plenty of water can stimulate weight loss.

4. “Spice-up” that metabolism

This one is relatively straightforward: spicy food kicks the metabolism into a higher gear. Metabolism is the primary physiological mechanism for converting and “burning” fat.

Aside from the uptick in metabolic rate, spicy foods (similar to water) also help promote feelings of fullness. These two properties can significantly expedite any efforts to lose weight in the cohort.

5. Stock up on high-quality foods

In a study published by Harvard University’s School of Public Health (HSPH), “The strongest evidence shows that calories matter, but focusing on food quality is an equally important part of preventing weight gain and promoting weight loss.”

The HSPH study provides specific examples of such foods, citing unrefined and minimally processed foods. Such foods include vegetables and fruits, healthy fats, healthy protein sources, and whole grains.

6. Don’t “get too comfortable.”

The phrase “don’t get too comfortable, in this case, applies to the level of heat to which we expose our body. Studies demonstrate a correlation between reduced exposure to lower temperatures and increased rates of obesity.

The rationale: when we’re cold, our skeletal muscles must remain active (“shiver”) to create heat. During this period, our bodies are burning excess calories. In contrast, when we’re “warm and cozy,” our muscles remain at rest. The result? We burn fewer calories and store more fat.

7. Don’t eat (heavily) after supper

Despite the myths, you can eat a small bite after supper. Be sure your snack consists of a “light, healthy snack.” Like many other bodily systems, it “winds down” at night, especially when we are asleep. As such, it’s wise to abstain from carb and fat-laden foods before hitting the sack.

Some ideas: 100-calorie snack packs, low-fat yogurt, fruit, or a small serving of popcorn.

8. Plan your meals

“Failing to plan is planning to fail” is certainly applicable here. Do you need to meticulously account for every gram of every ingredient in every meal? No. But, as mentioned, you must possess at least a basic knowledge of food and how the body receives that food.

It’s a good idea to have (at minimum) a basic outline of what kind of food you’ll eat on any given day. For example, eggs for protein in the morning; snack in the mid-morning; chicken and salad at lunch; whole-grain pasta at dinner.

Six Foods to Help You Feel Fuller and Lose Weight

If you want to lose weight, it’s essential to consume foods that keep you satisfied longer. In general, foods high in protein and fiber will help you lose weight because they increase digestion time. The longer it takes you to digest foods, the less hungry you will feel.

Processed foods tend to have high energy content and few nutrients, meaning you need more food to reach satiety. However, whole, fresh foods such as grains, fruits, and vegetables have all the vitamins, minerals, and macronutrients the body requires. Below, we will give you a few ideas of foods you can eat to lose weight and keep hunger pangs at bay.

1. Oatmeal

Many people enjoy eating a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast since it’s fiber-rich and nutritious. You can add fruit such as blueberries or strawberries for additional flavor and calories. Oatmeal contains 140 calories, five grams of protein, and four grams of fiber in a half-cup. It has both soluble and insoluble fiber, improving digestion and adding bulk to stool.

One study found that people who ate oatmeal for breakfast felt more satisfied than those who ate cereal. They also consumed fewer calories at lunchtime because they still felt full from breakfast.

Oatmeal contains a soluble fiber called beta-glucan, which increases satiety hormones and prolongs digestion. If you’re looking to lose weight, eating oatmeal can help you reach your goals while improving gut health.

2. Potatoes

Potatoes have been scorned in the diet industry because they’re high in carbohydrates. However, they also have moderate amounts of fiber and protein, making them optimal foods for weight loss. In addition, they have Vitamin C and potassium, which help the immune system function properly and lower the risk of heart disease.

Boiled potatoes scored a 323 on the Satiety Index, the highest of all 38 foods measured. They scored nearly seven times higher than croissants at a mere 47. If you allow potatoes to cool for a bit after boiling them, they will form a fiber-like carbohydrate called resistant starch that can help you lose weight.

Potatoes also contain a protein called proteinase inhibitor 2 (PI2), which studies have shown can inhibit hunger.

3. Eggs

Eggs have been touted as one of the best foods to encourage weight loss. While the yolks contain most nutrients such as choline and Vitamin D, egg whites have around 4-6 grams of protein. One large egg also contains about 5 grams of healthy fats, which can help you control your appetite since they take longer to digest than carbs and protein.

A study of 50 overweight and obese participants revealed that consuming eggs and buttered toast for breakfast instead of cereal and milk increased fullness levels for 4 hours.

A similar study including 48 healthy adults found that eating eggs and a source of fiber resulted in higher satiety than consuming low-fiber cereal and milk.

4. Greek yogurt

Full-fat Greek yogurt can aid in your goal to lose weight since it contains twice the protein as regular yogurt. It also will improve your gut health due to the high levels of probiotics such as S. thermophilus or Bifidus. These beneficial bacteria can reduce inflammation, gas, and bloating and prevent leptin resistance, which significantly contributes to obesity.

In one 2013 study, women ate a 160-calorie yogurt snack that contained either low, moderate, or high protein content. Those who consumed the high-protein Greek yogurt felt satisfied the longest and less hungry; they also ate dinner later.

If you want to add Greek yogurt to your diet, choose one without added sugar. Also, look for a yogurt that includes “live cultures” on the label, as not all yogurts have added bacteria.

5. Dark, leafy greens

Leafy greens such as kale, spinach, Swiss chard, and collard greens contain tons of fiber to keep you fuller longer. They also have thylakoids, which are structures inside plants that studies have shown can increase satiety and control appetite.

In addition, leafy greens have essential nutrients such as calcium, potassium, Vitamin C, and K, which improve overall health. Finally, their high water content can make you feel less hungry without consuming many calories, helping you lose weight.

If you want to add these healthy foods to your diet, consider cooking them instead of eating them raw. You can consume a greater volume when you cook them, plus they will be easier to digest.

6. Legumes

Legumes like black beans, kidney beans, peas, lentils, and peanuts provide essential nutrients while promoting weight loss. They’re packed with fiber, protein, and resistant starch, making them incredibly filling and beneficial for digestion.

In addition, legumes have B vitamins, iron, copper, magnesium, manganese, zinc, and phosphorous. They’re also low in fat, have almost no saturated fat, and are cholesterol-free.

A one-half cup serving of legumes contains only 115 calories, 20 g of carbohydrate, 7–9 g of fiber, 8 g of protein, and 1 g of fat. Legumes are also low on the glycemic index, ranging between 10 and 40 depending on the type.

One study that reviewed nine randomized trials analyzed satiety from pulses, a member of the legume family. The meta-analysis found that participants who ate pulses felt 31% more full than meals consisting of pasta or bread.

Final Thoughts on the Importance of Sticking With Your Goal to Lose Weight

If you want to lose weight, you will have to maintain a regular workout schedule and healthy eating habits. This victory doesn’t happen overnight and requires immense sacrifices, causing many people to throw in the towel. However, it’s important to remember that slow and steady wins the race. You’re not competing with anyone else, so you don’t have to sprint toward the goal.

As long as you exercise consistently, drink plenty of water, eat in moderation, and get adequate rest, you will lose weight. Here’s to your success!

10 Regrets You Don’t Want In 10 Years

February 15, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Growing up, we don’t think much about how our lives will play out. We don’t have to think about the future because we only care about living for today. We don’t have to worry about money because we don’t have to earn it. We don’t care about anything except the present moment, because we have not learned about regrets. And we haven’t yet known the horrors and atrocities of the world. All we care about is having fun with friends, watching our favorite TV shows, and digging up earthworms. Ah, those carefree days – it’s fun to reminisce from time to time, right?

We all want to turn back the hands of time sometimes, back to those days where nothing mattered. However, how about living a life where we don’t have the constant urge to be elsewhere? How about living for today so that we don’t have regrets later on? Simple ideas, in theory, we know, but hard to actually practice.

Well, we believe in taking baby steps to get where you need to be. If you don’t like your life now, you can always change it. If you looked back on your life as it is 10 years from now, would you like what you see?

If not, we’ve come up with this simple list of things you might regret 10 years from now, if you continue living the life you do now. This article isn’t meant to make you feel bad about your life, but rather, to make the changes necessary so you won’t have to live with the burden of regrets later on.

10 Regrets You Don’t Want In 10 Years

1. Not following your dreams.

According to Bronnie Ware, a palliative nurse from Australia, many of her dying patients listed this as their biggest regret. Ware took care of patients in their last three to twelve weeks of life, and heard many stories and confessions from them all. While she said that all of them found peace before their death, listening to their regrets moved her so much that she actually wrote a bestselling novel about it called “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.”

In the book, she said many of her patients had not honored even half of the dreams they wanted to fulfill, and this caused them to have major regrets before the end of their life. They wanted so badly to knock other things off their bucket list, but they had to die knowing they still had dreams.

10 years from now, do you want to look back and realize that you didn’t work toward your goals? Do you want to look back and see all the time that you wasted wondering if you were good enough to live the life you’ve always imagined? Well, here’s the secret – you can live that life NOW. Don’t want until you’re on your deathbed to think about your dreams; live them now, no matter what you have to do to achieve them. Even if you fail, at least you will have tried rather than giving up before you even started.

2. Working too hard.

Ware said that this regret came in at number two, based on the frequency that she heard it. Unfortunately, many people already work too hard even as teenagers. We’ve been spoonfed a bunch of lies about what will truly make us happy, and based on the declining mental health of much of the world, the answer clearly doesn’t lie in how much money we make or how hard we work. What’s the point of it all, really, other than to line the pockets of the wealthy and allow us to pay our bills? At the end of our lives, we won’t care about how much money we have or what we achieved. We’ll remember the human connections we made, or didn’t make.

We’ll think about the memories we made with loved ones and all of the beautiful people we crossed paths with during our time here. Sure, we all have to make money to survive, but don’t work so much that you forget to build a life outside of your job.

3. Not saying what you truly mean.

Coming in at third on Ware’s list, the patients also regretted holding back their feelings. This really doesn’t benefit anyone in the end, because you’ll end up with repressed emotions that will haunt you until the day you die. The person your emotions are directed toward will not know how you truly feel, and will be left in the dark about any issues you have with them. Lying or covering up with truth does no good for anyone, so say what you mean and mean what you say. Not everyone will like it, but at least you can fall asleep at night knowing you live your truth each day and don’t try to sugarcoat it for anyone.

4. Not staying in touch with friends.

People at the end of their lives also regretted losing touch with friends. In 10 years, will you regret not calling up that friend from high school that you wonder about every day? Will you regret not reaching out to the person in your yoga class that you want to get to know better? Don’t let your fear or doubt control your decisions. Reach out to people and take a chance on a new friendship. Life’s too short to live it all in your head; we all require human connection, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there in order to make new friendships or recover an old one.

5. Not being happy.

We like to think that outside forces control our emotions, but the key to emotional control lies within us. We don’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to it. Life goes by so fast, so why spend it finding every little thing to complain about? Being happy costs nothing, keeps you healthier, makes life more fulfilling, attracts more positive relationships, and so on. So, unhappiness, then, actually costs MORE in the long run, and can even lead to serious illnesses. Our mental, emotional, and physical health relies on our perception, so if you want to start living a better life now, simply change how you look at things. You’ll discover you have more inner strength than you had ever imagined.

6. Caring too much about what others think.

As a society, we spend a lot of time thinking about what others think of us. However, this does absolutely nothing for our happiness or success whatsoever. What good comes out of fixating on the opinions of others? None. It only drives us insane and leaves us feeling insecure and depressed. So, stop with the madness. Live your truth, work on your life, and stop worrying so much about what everyone else might think. Chances are, they’re so busy with their own lives that they don’t even think twice about yours, anyway.

7. Worrying too much.

We spend A LOT of our lives worrying. No matter what role you play in this world, you have something to worry about. However, will you let this worry take over your life? Will you let the heaviness of the burden drag you down? Or, will you release these worries and realize that this world worries far too much?

At the end of your life, remember that the unpaid bills and debts, what other people think of you, how much money you have, and everything else we worry about won’t really matter. The fleeting nature of life should cause us to shed our worries immediately, but unfortunately, we don’t feel how quickly life goes by until we wake up one day as a 75 year old. Then, we begin to see how small our worries are. But, why not choose to awaken to this truth NOW? Remember: don’t be a worrier; be a warrior!

8. Not taking care of your health.

Everyone likes to think they’re invincible, until they’re not. When we’re younger, it’s easy to think we’ll live forever. It’s easy to think that we can stay up late, eat whatever we want, drink away our weekends, and still think we’ll live to 100. Well, hate to break it to you, but all those decisions will catch up with you someday. Maybe not in 10, 20, or even 30 years, but eventually. So many health problems we face today can be prevented if we just take care of ourselves and honor our minds and bodies, so please give yourself the gift of good health. You won’t regret it later on.

9. Taking life for granted.

Most people take their lives for granted, even though so many little things we experience each day are miracles in their own right. The bees that pollinate the foods we eat, the plants that provide us with nourishment, the air we breathe that gives us oxygen, the water we drink that keeps us hydrated, the sun that shines down on us and gives us life – we should appreciate all of it. Even if you don’t have much in life, you could at least say your thanks for having the basics that the universe provides you with.

Have an attitude of gratitude, and it will come back to you tenfold.

10. Not living in the moment.

More than anything else, it seems most of us have issues with living in the NOW. We reminisce on the past and wish we could bring it back, or we long for a future that hasn’t happened yet. Either way, we live out of alignment with the present, which means that we’re NEVER truly experiencing life. We’re experiencing moments in our memory, or moments in our imagination. We aren’t experiencing the raw moments, the moments unfolding right before our eyes.

If anything, remember that one day, you won’t have any more present moments left to experience. You won’t have road trips to go on, or mountains to climb, or children to kiss goodnight, or a partner to cuddle with. You will have your memories, serving as a reality check. Did you live your dreams, take chances, and say your thanks for every day you awoke? Or, did you file your dreams away in the “Someday” folder, play it safe, and sweat the small stuff?

Above everything else, remember that you and only you have the power to change your life and make it one worth living. It takes hard work, determination, and digging deep in order to live a truly happy, fulfilling life, but at the end of the day, the effort we put in determines the results we get.

If you want to live a life you won’t regret in 10 years, it all starts with what you’re willing to do to make sure that doesn’t happen. You hold the key already, but it’s up to you to find the door.

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