Most people have a great belief that society is ruled by egotistical behavior. That in order to be successful, you must have a healthy dosage of ego. We do things based on selfish whims. But, most of us do things for our benefit and for the welfare of others. There is a huge difference between ego and confidence.
Tennessee Williams wrote: “Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaw of their own egos. That is the way we all see…each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition — all such distortions within our own egos — condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other.”
How can you tell if the person has a healthy awareness and confidence or suffers from a giant ego?
Here are 6 signs of an oversized ego:
1. They have to always be right.
According to famous psychoanalyst, Sigmund Freud, the ego operates according to the reality principle. In an article in Simply Psychology, “The ego considers social realities and norms, etiquette and rules in deciding how to behave.”
We must have ego in order to function as humans. The ego is the determined compass from right and wrong. It helps us make decisions in life. However, an unhealthy ego doesn’t see past their own needs and desires. They have to always be right in everything. Usually this type of person gets enraged when they are accused of being wrong.
2. They always want more.
A person suffering from an inflated ego is never satisfied. They are addicted to the high they get from reaching goals. Their accomplishments dictate their behavior. They cannot accept what is right now. They need more of everything. If a neighbor got a new sports car, they want a better sports car just to show them they are better.
3. They must always win.
Huge egos do not accept loss. They must be number one in everything they go after. These folks will do just about anything to succeed, even if it means hurting another person. They manipulate the system for their benefit. They are disloyal, disrespectful and obnoxious. Can you imagine a child having a tantrum for not getting a cookie? The egotistical person will have a tantrum if they lose. They expect the world to revolve around their needs.
4. They require constant recognition.
The egotistical maniac has given himself/herself a grandiose sense of self-importance and expects others to see this at all times. They will exaggerate any talents and achievements in the course of their lives. They will tell and retell stories of past events to acquire recognition and admiration. They will embellish their unlimited success, worth and beauty so that others see them as perfect.
5. They have one-sided conversations.
These folks suffer from lack of interpersonal relationships. They do not understand what it is to support another with their dreams, ideas, or emotions. Egotistical people will talk excessively, and when someone tries to point out something that is not about them, they will get upset. They don’t have social cues on give and take in relationships. Egotistical people don’t ask, “What can I do for you?” They are only concerned with what anyone can do for them.
6. They lack empathy.
Someone who suffers from a huge ego can also be described as a narcissist. Dr. Sam Vaknin shares his perspective on personality disorders. He says that “Normal people use a variety of abstract concepts and psychological constructs to relate to other persons. Emotions are such modes of inter-relatedness. Narcissists and psychopaths are different. Their “equipment” is lacking. They understand only one language: self-interest. Their inner dialog and private language revolve around the constant measurement of utility. They regard others as mere objects, instruments of gratification, and representations of functions.”
Empathy doesn’t exist for the egotistical person. They are not able to accept compassion or show empathy.
Our opinions are usually the lowest form of human intelligence because they are based on self-reflection and perception. The person who suffers from a huge ego sees their opinion as the only one that matters. They are driven by what they believe, and facts have little importance to them. Empathy, understanding and compassion require us to let go of the ego and live in another person’s world. This is not possible for the egotistical person.