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10 Behaviors Women Show When They’re With Their True Love

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How do you know when a woman is truly in love? Some seem so elusive that you never know, while others practically throw themselves at you.

World’s top relationship development expert, AJ Harbinger, says, “Love isn’t just a bunch of chemicals, but brain chemistry plays a vital role in why we feel the way we feel about other people. And when we feel good things, there’s usually a lot of dopamine involved.

When women fall in love, their bodies also produce norepinephrine and phenylethylamine. These increase focus while creating a sense of euphoria. That’s why women often focus on one man to the exclusion of other things when they’re falling in love.”

Falling in love with a woman can be one of the most wonderful and exciting things that happens in your life.

The problem may be figuring out if a woman is in love with you, too. Whether you’re beginning a relationship, or whether you’re in a long-term relationship, women will exhibit the same kind of behaviors when they have fallen in love with you.

Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She’s In Love

women

1. Shy behavior

A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn’t in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous.

If she’s in love with you, you might find that she is more likely to avoid eye contact, giggle when you speak to her, and have a hard time communicating with you.

2. She gives you presents

Sure, getting presents on your birthday or holidays is pretty standard. But when a woman is in love with you, you may find that she gives you presents more often.

They’re not always big presents, but they’re often very special and heartfelt. If you find that a woman you know or are casually dating brings you presents often and without reason, it’s probably a sign that she’s deeply in love.

3. Acting slightly childish

If a woman is in love with you, she may begin to exhibit some strange behavior. She wants to be seen as cute in front of the person that she loves, and being cute is often hand-in-hand with being slightly childish.

According to TellYouAll, “They will not hesitate to raise their tone of their voice, scream, jump around, or giggle loudly to draw your attention. Note also their speaking style, which at first glance would sound warmer just like a small child.” She may also act innocent in a childlike way.

4. Interested in your life

A woman who is in love with you will take an interest in your life. She wants to know about your day, past, hopes, and dreams. She isn’t just asking to be polite, either. Indeed, she is genuinely interested in your life, what you think and feel, and your opinions on things.

According to YourTango, “You clearly already caught her interest if she’s asking (assuming she’s not just making small talk to be polite) and engaging in conversation. It’s just a step to determine if you’re a compatible partner for her.”

If she is asking many questions and taking an interest in your life, then it’s probably a sign that she’s genuinely in love with you.

5. She starts the conversation

Whether she’s messaging you online, sending you a text, or seeking you out to start talking, a woman in love with you is more likely to start the conversation.

Sometimes, you may find that she’s always sending you the first text, or is the one who’s calling you on the phone. These are behaviors of a woman who wants to talk to you.

6. Shows interest in what you do

Do you have a boring job? A weird hobby? It doesn’t matter what you do for a living or what you do during your free time; a woman who is in love with you will think that the things you do are the most interesting things on the planet.

She loves to listen to you talk about what you do for a living, or talk about your favorite hobbies and interests. A woman in love with you is interested in even the most boring details of your day.

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7. She wants to look good

Making a good impression is important to a woman when she’s in love with someone. One of the first impressions that someone can make is with their physical appearance.

That means if a woman is always looking her best whenever you’re around her, she’s probably trying to impress you with her looks.

8. Always looks happy

When you walk into the room, does her expression change? Does she light up when she sees you? If so, it’s a sign that she’s falling for you. A woman who isn’t interested in someone is rarely going to look excited every time they walk into the room.

Pay attention to the way she smiles and the light in her eyes every time you’re around – if she looks like you’re her whole world, then you probably have a woman in love.

9. She can’t look you in the eyes

Maintaining eye contact is something that many people do when they’re feeling confident. But a woman in love with you may struggle to maintain eye contact.

After all, eyes are a window to the soul. When a woman has difficulty keeping eye contact, it’s a sign that she’s in love with you and is too shy to show it.

10. Pays attention to your needs and wants

She’s always aware of what you need, whether it’s an ear to listen or someone to offer advice. A woman in love with you will have no problem keeping your wants and needs at the forefront of her mind, and she will be happy to help you with whatever you need.

women

Final Thoughts on Knowing When a Woman is Truly in Love

Women show their emotions in different ways than men do, and when they fall in love, they can exhibit a type of behavior that makes it obvious … but only if you know what to look for! If you’re with a woman and want to figure out if she’s deeply in love with you, you’ll want to look for these specific behaviors.

“True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” – Ricardo Montalban

5 Behaviors Men Who Are Still ‘Boys’ Display In Their Relationships

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When we enter an adult relationship, we often assume that our partner is going to have the same adult experiences that we do – that is to say, they’re going to be as mature as we are. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of situations where women enter relationships with men who just haven’t seemed to grow up, and when this happens, the woman is often tasked with trying to raise her “man child” boyfriend. If this seems familiar to you, you may want to check out these signs to see if you’re in a relationship with a man child. If so, you may want to figure out what you want to do moving forward. Settle? Or find someone more your mental age?

Here are 5 behaviors of a man like this in a relationship…

“When people do not fully grow up, they farm out the hard work of adulthood to those closest to them.” – Dr. Jill Weber

1. You have to pick up after him

He cannot pick up his clothes, his gadgets, his dishes, nothing. You may find that you’re constantly cleaning up after him, no matter what. You’re picking up his dirty laundry and putting it in the hamper, or you’re cleaning up his dirty dishes and putting them in the sick. He just leaves behind a whirlwind of dirty garbage behind him and you’re the one left to play maid.

“When people do not fully grow up, they farm out the hard work of adulthood to those closest to them. It can be subtle, but if you are making excuses, stop and reflect on why you’re picking up after a grown man?” says author Jill P. Weber.

You shouldn’t be playing mother or maid to your significant other, so if you notice that you’re the only one keeping the apartment clean, this may be a red flag that you’re actually dating a man-child.

2. He panics at the mention of commitment

You notice that any time you discuss commitment, or god forbid children, he doesn’t look like he’s interested in the conversation. In fact, he may even look panicked. After all, a man-child may find having to grow up to have his own children or commit to his partner one of the worst things that could ever happen to him. Of course, you always deserve someone who is on your same page when it comes to commitment, or what you want to happen in the future.

“Adults plan futures, strategize how they can reach those future goals, and take action now in service of those goals. [They] can’t think too far ahead because they are incapable of seeing their future selves in a clear light,” says psychologist and radio host Dr. Cooper Lawrence.

Therefore, if your partner can’t seem to stomach even a little talk of the future, it might be a red flag.

3. You have to nag him

Nobody likes to be a nag, and nobody likes to nag, either. But you may find that you are always nagging him about things, everything from doing the dishes to cleaning up the living room. He tells you that he’s going to do something, and you have to keep reminding him and reminding him, but in the end … he just doesn’t do it, and then he’s apologizing, or getting on your case about being such a nag. You always end up disappointed. If this sounds like your relationship, then it’s a big sign that you’re probably dating a man child.

4. He always avoids serious conversation

If there’s something wrong in your relationship, your first instinct may be to sit down with your partner and have a serious conversation about it. However, when you’re in a relationship with a man child, you’re probably going to find that he avoids serious conversations like the plague. When you try to bring something serious up, “he makes a joke, changes the topic, looks at his phone, or turns the tables on you by telling you what you are doing wrong in the relationship,” adds Dr. Weber.

You will probably never actually get to the point of the conversation, because the last thing that your man-child partner wants is to address his bad behavior.

5. He’s still stuck in middle school

If you’re with your partner and it feels like his interests haven’t evolved since middle school, you might very well be dating a man-child. He seems to always want to play pranks, and only enjoys toilet humor, and all of his interests and hobbies revolve around things that he was interested in as a child. He may not even know how to have an adult conversation without making jokes or trying to antagonize you. You may start to feel like his mother rather than his significant other. This is a big red flag that you’re in a relationship with a man-child.

Final thoughts

Adult women want relationships with adult men. Unfortunately, for men, it seems more acceptable for them to take longer to grow up, which leaves many women in relationships with men who are still reliving their childhood glory days. If you find that your partner is exhibiting all of the signs of a man-child, then it may very well be time to either issue an ultimatum or find an adult who’s ready to act like it.

References:
http://stylecaster.com/signs-of-an-immature-man/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201510/5-signs-you-might-really-be-dating-man-child

Brain Aneurysm: Early Signs, Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment

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A brain aneurysm is a scary situation that most people know little about. Although the condition is well-known, the details aren’t always clear. So many don’t understand the symptoms, diagnosis methods, or treatment options. Knowing the details can help save a life, whether it is yours or someone else’s.

The pain from an aneurysm compares to a severe migraine. People that experience migraines explain that the normal things that relieve them don’t help for an aneurysm. While ruptured aneurysms are rare, unruptured aneurysms affect millions worldwide, so you should know the details.

You might need treatment for an unruptured brain aneurysm as it can rupture in the future. A rupture is life-threatening and can affect people of any age.

If you think you have an aneurysm, getting medical care right away is essential. Don’t ignore the symptoms if your regular headache relieving methods don’t work.

What Is a Brain Aneurysm?

brain aneurysmA brain aneurysm, subarachnoid hemorrhage, is an abnormal, weak spot in the wall of a blood vessel. As the weak area gets worn out, it bulges, and if it bursts, it can cause internal bleeding or death.

Aneurysms typically occur where blood vessels branch off because those parts are weaker. They are also most commonly found at the base of the brain.

There are a few different types of aneurysms, including saccular, fusiform, and dissecting. A saccular aneurysm forms a sac outside the main artery that looks like a berry and is sometimes dome-shaped. According to Stanford Health Care, almost 90% of aneurysms are saccular.

A fusiform aneurysm causes the artery to bulge and widens all the way around, but this type is rare. The last type, a dissecting aneurysm, is a tear in one of the artery’s linings. It causes blood to leak into the other areas and bulge, or it can block the artery.

An aneurysm can rupture or leak, causing brain bleeding. Ruptures typically occur in the space between the brain and the tissue that covers it. When an aneurysm ruptures, it can quickly become life-threatening.

What Are the Early Symptoms of a Brain Aneurysm?

The symptoms for a ruptured and unruptured are different, and knowing both is essential.

Symptoms of a Ruptured Aneurysm

  • a drooping eyelid
  • blurred or double vision
  • confusion
  • loss of consciousness
  • vomiting and nausea
  • seizure
  • light sensitivity
  • extreme, severe, and sudden headache
  • stiff neck
  • loss of balance
  • dilated pupils

Symptoms of an Unruptured Aneurysm

  • dilated pupils (sometimes just one)
  • double vision or change in vision
  • numbness on one side of the face
  • pain behind and above one eye
  • sometimes, no symptoms occur
  • headache
  • difficulty speaking

What Causes a Brain Aneurysm?

While the exact causes are unknown, researchers have found some connections. Many factors can contribute to the weakness in an artery wall, increasing the risk of an aneurysm or rupture. Some risks develop over time, others are present at birth, and some result from brain injuries.

When a brain injury causes an aneurysm, it tears the tissue and creates a dissecting aneurysm. Additionally, a severe infection in your body that damages the arteries can cause it.

The American Heart Association explains that excessive exercise, caffeine consumption, straining during bowel movements, intense anger, becoming startled, and sexual intercourse can trigger an aneurysm.

brain aneurysmWhat Are the Risk Factors of a Brain Aneurysm?

There are quite a few risk factors, including the following things:

  • Being Over the Age of 40: While people of any age can have an aneurysm, those over 40 have the highest risk. As you get older, the risk continues to increase.
  • Inherited Connective Tissue Disorders: Some connective tissue disorders inherited at birth can weaken blood vessels. One condition that does this is Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.
  • Polycystic Kidney Disease: This kidney disease is an inherited disorder that causes fluid-filled sacs in the kidneys. These sacs typically increase blood pressure, creating more wear on your arteries.
  • Abnormally Narrow Aorta: This condition is also called coarctation of the aorta, affecting oxygen flow. The aorta is a large blood vessel that delivers oxygenated blood from the heart to the body.
  • Cerebral Arteriovenous Malformation: Also known as brain AVM, this malformation is an abnormal connection between arteries and veins in the brain. It disrupts normal blood flow between them, resulting in an aneurysm.
  • Family History: Those with a family history of aneurysms have an increased risk. The risk is higher if the family member is a first-degree relative, including a parent, brother, sister, or child.
  • High Blood Pressure: Anytime your blood pressure increases, it causes more wear on your arteries. Over time, it can create a weak spot and bulge.
  • Atherosclerosis: This disease occurs when fat builds up inside the walls of your arteries. It blocks the blood vessels that deliver oxygenated blood throughout your body.
  • Lifestyle Choices: Some of your lifestyle choices can cause an aneurysm, including cigarette smoking and alcohol use. Binge drinking and drug abuse are detrimental and significantly increase the risk. Stimulating drugs such as cocaine or amphetamines are the most harmful.

What Are the Complications of a Brain Aneurysm?

When an aneurysm ruptures, it can lead to many complications, including:

  • Re-bleeding: When a rupture occurs, there is a risk that it can bleed again later on. If it bleeds again, it can cause further brain cell damage.
  • Vasospasm: After a rupture, brain blood vessels might narrow erratically, which is vasospasm. It limits blood flow to brain cells, called an ischemic stroke, and can cause further cell loss and damage.
  • Hydrocephalus: When a rupture causes bleeding between the brain and surrounding tissue, it can block fluid circulation surrounding the brain and spinal cord. This situation leads to an excess of cerebrospinal fluid, increasing pressure on the brain. With the increased pressure, damage to your tissues can occur.
  • Hyponatremia: The subarachnoid hemorrhage from a ruptured aneurysm disrupts the sodium balance in the blood. Sometimes this occurs because of damage to the hypothalamus near the base of your brain. It leads to brain cell swelling and can cause permanent damage.

How Is a Brain Aneurysm Diagnosed?

If you experience a severe, sudden headache or any other symptoms, see a doctor right away. The sooner you find out the issue and begin treatment, the more your outlook improves. There are various diagnostic processes for aneurysms, including:

  • Computerized Tomography (CT): A CT scan is a specialized X-ray exam and is typically the first to diagnose an aneurysm. This test can find bleeding in the brain by producing 2-D slices of the brain. Sometimes you might receive an injection of dye to make it easier for the doctor to observe blood flow in the brain.
  • Cerebrospinal Fluid Test: This test checks for red blood cells in cerebrospinal fluid, the fluid surrounding your brain and spine. Typically, the fluid doesn’t contain red blood cells but, after an aneurysm, they are present. A cerebrospinal fluid test helps when nothing shows up on a CT scan.
  • Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI): An MRI offers detailed 2-D slices or 3-D images of the brain and blood vessels using a magnetic field and radio waves. This test assesses the arteries to detect an aneurysm.
  • Cerebral Angiogram: During this test, the doctor will insert a catheter into a large artery and thread it to the arteries in your brain. Then, they inject a dye into the catheter and obtain images to see the condition of your arteries. This method is typically only used when other tests don’t give enough information.

How Is Brain Aneurysm Treated?

While aneurysms are scary and painful, there are treatment options, including:

  • Surgery: Surgical slipping involves a surgeon removing part of your skull to close off the aneurysm. They place a tiny metal clip on the neck of the aneurysm to stop blood flow to the bulge. A less invasive surgery is endovascular coiling, where the surgeon uses a catheter to guide a wire into the aneurysm. The wire coils up, disrupting blood flow and sealing the area from the artery.
  • Flow Diverters: Flow diverters are tubular implants that divert blood flow away from a bulge, promoting healing and reconstruction of the artery. These diverters are typically used in large sacs that can’t be treated in other ways.
  • Calcium Channel Blockers: These blockers prevent calcium from entering blood vessel wall cells. It decreases erratic blood vessel narrowing.
  • Rehabilitative Therapy: After a rupture, there could be brain damage. Brain damage often requires relearning skills through physical, speech, and occupational therapy.

What’s The Outlook for People with a Brain Aneurysm?

With early medical treatment, survival is possible with minimal damage. Increased survival rates are associated with early diagnosis, aneurysm repair, and control of blood vessel spasms. The longer a person waits to get treatment, the bleaker the outlook becomes.

Studies show that ruptured aneurysms result in death before medical care begins for 15% of people. Plus, 50% of ruptures that don’t receive treatment result in death within a month. If it is left untreated, there is a risk of re-bleed within two weeks of the occurrence.

With immediate medical attention being essential, watch for the symptoms so that you can begin treatment. After treatment, recovery can be quick if brain damage isn’t severe.

brain aneurysmFinal Thoughts on Brain Aneurysm: Early Signs, Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment

While a brain aneurysm can be life-threatening, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Remember the symptoms and recognize them in yourself and others. Even if you aren’t entirely sure, seek medical attention for a final diagnosis.

Remember that ruptured aneurysms are rare, so don’t panic. Just stay vigilant and watch for symptoms just in case it happens to you or your loved one.

10 Signs Your Relationship Is Meant to Last

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Knowing whether or not your relationship will last isn’t always obvious. It can go through all kinds of different changes, from life changes to stressful changes. How you handle your relationships and all of the things that life throws at you can tell you how well it will last.

“I think for any relationship to be successful, there needs to be loving communication, appreciation, and understanding.” – Miranda Kerr

There are also certain things that all long-lasting relationships have as well that can let you know whether or not your connection is made to last. If you’re in a long-term commitment, or maybe you’ve just started a new fling and you’re still in the honeymoon phase, here are the best ways to tell that your partnership is built to last forever.

Here Are 10 Signs Your Relationship Is A Success

1. You have faith in each other

Not only that, but you have faith in yourselves, too. Having faith in the relationship itself is one of the most important things that will help keep your connection strong and stable. If you have faith that the other person is always going to be there for you, no matter what, then you know your partnership is strong. Knowing that you have faith in one another, in yourselves, and in the connection means that it is bound to last for a long, long time – and most likely, forever.

2. You trust each other

A relationship isn’t very strong if there isn’t trust between both parties. If you’re wondering whether or not your partnership will last forever, it’s important to evaluate how much you trust your partner. If both of you trust each other, then the bond is certain to be strong. You trust your partner to communicate with you, and to not hurt you, cheat on you or lie to you.

Power couples “have each other’s backs and do not keep secrets. They behave in ways that better both each other and the relationship—not just themselves,” says marriage expert Marni Feuerman

Trust is one of the most important things that a relationship can have.

3. You accept one another

Everyone has a past, and everyone has things that they’re not proud of. Knowing that your partner accepts you for who you are and all of your flaws, and all of the things that you’re not proud of, means that your partnership is strong. Not only that, but when you accept your partner as well, you know that your relationship will easily last forever.

4. You’re grateful

It can be easy to take our partners for granted. We don’t always mean to do it, but sometimes it can happen. Still, having gratitude towards your partner is one of the things that every relationship needs. When you feel grateful for your partner and all the things that they do for you in your day-to-day life, then you’ll know that it’s bound to last forever.

5. There’s strong communication

No relationship can happen without communication and “Many individuals find themselves in relationships where they have ‘fun together,’ but are unable to openly communicate their feelings, desires and wishes,” says marriage coach Eric Hunt.

When communication begins to break down, that’s when the relationship begins to break down as well. But, when a relationship has good, strong communication, then it means that a relationship is bound to last. Being able to talk about your emotions, the things that bother you, and even the good things is what a relationship is all about.

Strong communication is key to a relationship that lasts forever and “Couples who are able to effectively communicate are able to better understand one another and experience greater intimacy,” adds Hunt.

relationship

6. Intimacy is still very much alive

Relationships don’t always have to revolve around sex, or even involve sex at all. But a relationship that does have it should be satisfying for both partners. The physical intimacy between both partners should make each of them feel good, desired and loved. It shouldn’t be one sided or unsatisfying. Having mutual physical intimacy is a great way to know your relationship is on track to last forever.

As therapist Kimberly Hershenson stated, “Whether it’s a kiss hello or goodbye, snuggling on the couch or holding hands; even non-sexual touching builds connection between partners.”

7. You respect each other

No relationship can last if there’s no respect. Respect for one another’s emotions, opinions, autonomy and life goals- all of those things are extremely important for a relationship to last forever. If there’s no respect, you may find that your relationship will suffer. As long as you have respect for your partner in the way that you would want them to respect you, then things will work out.

8. You share common goals

You want to start a family together, you want to own a house, you want to live somewhere on the coast: these are common goals. Even if you don’t have the same goals, the goals that you do have are complementary. Your goals work together to make your lives together work in harmony. When you have common goals, your relationship will stay strong.

9. You both put in the effort

Relationships are work! No one has ever said otherwise. But a bond that lasts has effort put in on both sides. The relationship never feels one-sided, and it never feels like one person is putting in more effort than the other. When things are tough, both partners try hard to make sure things stay strong. When both people put effort into the relationship, it will stay strong forever.

Relationship therapist Janet Zin said, “If both partners are able to endure an illness, money difficulties, family issues, or a life-changing experience that has caused great stress, and the support they are able to give one another is a lasting memory that can bare the fullness of time.”

10. You’re both determined

Do you want to make this work? Do you want your relationship to last forever? That determination has to come from both partners or else the relationship is entirely one-sided! But when both partners feel that same determination, the relationship will undoubtedly last forever.

Final thoughts

It’s easy to feel like your relationship will last forever – but it takes a little more effort to make sure that it will! With trust, faith, communication and a lot of love, any relationship can stay strong enough to keep going. If your relationship hits all of these points, then it’s a strong probability that your relationship was built to last.

5 Excuses Mean People Try to Make for Their Behavior

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Mean people are often making excuses for their behavior, leaving the rest of us trying to figure out why they act the way that they do. It can be difficult to understand why some people continue to act in ways that harm the people around them. Unfortunately, it’s because they are finding ways to justify how they act, and the things they do and say.

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” – George Washington Carver

When trying to understand why a mean person does the things that they do, it’s important to understand the excuses that they make for themselves in order to understand them better. When we understand where mean people are coming from, we can make sure not to let their behavior affect us in our day-to-day lives. It all starts with understanding the common, unacceptable excuses that these types of people make for themselves.

Here Are 5 Unacceptable Excuses Mean People Get Away With

1. It’s just honesty

Paulo Coelho once said, “How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” And I couldn’t agree more.

Mean people can often say cruel things to other people and excuse their behavior as just being honest. Honesty is often born out of wanting to heal and make another person feel good, or to help them, even if it isn’t something that they want to hear.

Mean people, however, will use that honesty as an excuse to be cruel- they may say something mean about your hair, your clothes, your personality, all while trying to sugarcoat it with the claim of being “brutally honest.” But brutal honesty is only about making them feel good, and letting them say the things they want to without consequence.

As Author Randy Conley says, “If you frequently find yourself saying “I’m just being honest and telling it like it is,” then you’re probably relying too much on your default nature of being direct and to the point. Those are great traits to possess, but they shouldn’t be used as an excuse for being harsh or inconsiderate with people.”

2. Other people made them feel this way

Toxic people have a lot of negative emotions, but they never take responsibility for the way they feel. One of the biggest excuses that mean people make for themselves is that other people are the cause of their emotions. Because other people make them feel this way, it isn’t the mean person’s fault for how they react. If someone says something that upsets them, then it’s not their fault if they have a strong, negative reaction and treat the other person unkindly.

And “When you point out something that they have done, they do not take ownership of it nor will they apologize. You will need to move forward. If you are waiting for an apology then you will keep waiting. It will be smart to simply move forward without expecting an apology that will never come,” says Dr. David Simonsen.

3. They’re better than other people

Some people may act mean towards others under the assumption that they are simply better than the people around them. Whether they’re richer than other people, or have better grades or a better job, they’ve convinced themselves that they’re above the people around them.

They’re superior and thus they don’t need to treat other people kindly. Other people are beneath them, and only people who are on their level are deserving of their respect. This is a deeply unacceptable excuse that mean people tend to make for themselves in order to justify their behavior to themselves.

4. They’ve had it bad

Some mean and toxic people have been treated poorly throughout their lives. Sometimes they have been abused or bullied throughout their childhood. In turn, they become hardened to the outside world. This is an excuse that mean people can use to justify how they treat other people.

They may become the abusers or the bully in order to make themselves feel better. Because of the way they were treated, they convince themselves that other people should feel the same way. This is an unacceptable excuse, but they’ve convinced themselves that this is appropriate.

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5. It’s just who they are

Some mean people justify their behavior as it just being a part of their personality. That’s just the way they are, they tell it like it is, and other people are too sensitive if they don’t like it. This excuse is unacceptable because there’s no reason for them to treat people the way they do. They tend to pull this excuse so that they don’t have to examine their behavior and make any changes, no matter how many people they hurt.

Psychiatrist Abigail Brenner M.D. says “It’s hard to know who you’re with at any given time because they are often not the same person. They may change their perspective, attitude, and behavior depending on what they feel they need to accomplish or what they want to have happen. (And they know how to be kind when they want something from you.”

Final thoughts

Understanding these excuses that mean people make for their behavior will make it easier to spot a truly toxic person in your life. Mean people rarely want to look at themselves and change their behavior, even when their friends and family become hurt by the things they do or the things they say. Knowing the excuses that they make for themselves means you can stop yourself from getting affected negatively by a mean person’s unacceptable behavior.

References:
https://leadingwithtrust.com/2012/05/20/your-personality-is-not-an-excuse-for-bad-behavior/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201608/8-things-the-most-toxic-people-in-your-life-have-in-common
https://www.davidsimonsen.net/single-post/2016/07/20/Signs-of-a-Toxic-Person

Science Explains What Happens to Someone’s Brain From Complaining Every Day

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The human brain is remarkably malleable. It can be shaped like a ball of Play-Doh, just with a bit more time and effort.

Within the last twenty years, thanks to rapid development in the spheres of brain imaging and neuroscience, we can now say for sure that the brain is capable of re-engineering. In fact, you could say that we can facilitate these changes.

In many ways, neuroplasticity – an umbrella term describing the lasting change to the brain throughout a person’s life – is a beautiful thing.

We can change our brain for the positive, so we don’t have to feel “stuck”.  We can increase our intelligence (our “I.Q.”). And, we can learn new, life-changing skills. In some instances, a person can recover from brain damage. Finally, we can become more emotionally intelligent by “unlearning” harmful behaviors, beliefs, and habits.

But, another side of the coin is that we can redesign our brains for the worse! Fortunately, we can right the ship again thanks to our ability to unlearn harmful behaviors, beliefs, and habits!

Both Good and Bad Beliefs Change The Brain

Donald Hebb, an early pioneer of neuroplasticity and neuropsychology, famously said:

“Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

Dr. Michael Merzenich, now recognized as perhaps the world’s most renowned neuroscientist, built on Hebb’s work, proving the relationship between our thoughts (“neurons that fire”) and structural changes in the brain (“wire together.”)

Among Dr. Merzenich’s numerous discoveries, this one may be the most important:

“Your experiences, behaviors, thinking, habits, thought patterns, and ways of reacting to world are inseparable from how your brain wires itself.”

Negative habits change your brain for the worse. Positive practices change your brain for the better.

Neuroplasticity and Illness

Alex Korb, Ph.D., and author of The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time, said this profound statement,

“In depression, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with the brain. It’s simply that the particular tuning of neural circuits creates the tendency toward a pattern of depression. It has to do with the way the brain deals with stress, planning, habits, decision making and a dozen other things — the dynamic interaction of all those circuits. And once a pattern starts to form, it causes dozens of tiny changes throughout the brain that create a downward spiral.”

Neuroplasticity can be both the problem and the solution.

pop memeComplaining and Brain Changes

We will get a bit more specific now, discussing the effects of negative behaviors – specifically, complaining – and how these behaviors alter the brain’s structure.

We all know that one continually negative person is someone who never seems satisfied with anything or anyone.

Negative people are almost always complainers without fail. Worse, complainers are not satisfied in keeping their thoughts and feelings to themselves; instead, they’ll seek out some unwilling participant and vent.

Undoubtedly annoying to their friends and family, these complainers aren’t to be chastised but understood.

Of course, we all complain from time to time. In fact, researchers from Clemson University empirically demonstrated that everyone occasionally grumbles. Some do so much more often than others.

Complainers generally fall into one of three groups:

Attention-seeking Complainers:

These are people who seek attention through complaining. They dwell on about how they’ve got it worse than everyone else. Ironically, rational people are apt to ignore outright the person rather than waste mental energy, focusing on their negativity.

Chronic Complainers:

These folks live in a constant state of complaint. If they’re not voicing about their “woe is me” attitude, they’re probably thinking about it.

Psychologists term this compulsory behavior rumination, defined as “repetitively going over a thought or a problem without completion.” Unfortunately, rumination directly relays to the depressed and anxious brain.

Low-E.Q. Complainers:

‘E.Q.’ is short for emotional quotient, and constituents within this group are short on E.Q. What I.Q. is to intelligence, E.Q. is to emotional understanding.

These people aren’t interested in your perspective, thoughts, or feelings. You’re a sounding board – a brick wall. As such, they’ll dwell and vent at every opportunity.

complaining

So is the Brain to Blame?

The answer is (mostly) “Yes.” You see, most negative people don’t want to feel this way. Who truly would? Truth be told, it may not consciously be their fault.

If allowed to loop within the brain continually, harmful behaviors such as complaining will inevitably alter thought processes. Altered thoughts lead to altered beliefs, leading to a behavior change.

Additionally, our brain possesses something called the negativity bias. In simple terms, negativity bias is the brain’s tendency to focus more on adverse circumstances than positive.

Dr. Rick Hanson, a neuroscientist and author of Buddha’s Brain, explains negativity bias:

“Negative stimuli produce more neural activity than do equally intensive positive ones. They are also perceived more easily and quickly.”

Repetition is the mother of all learning. When we repeatedly focus on the negative by complaining, we’re firing and re-firing the neurons responsible for the negativity bias.

We’re creating our negative behavior through repetition.

brainFinal Thoughts on the Changing Your Brain to Stop Complaining

It’s not possible to be “happy-go-lucky” all of the time – and we shouldn’t try. It’s crucial to process feelings naturally as they come in. We should, however, take concrete steps to counteract negative thinking.

Research has repeatedly shown that affirmations, meditation, and mindfulness are perhaps the most powerful tools for combating negativity.

Positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson and her colleagues at the University of North Carolina showed that people who meditate daily display more positive emotions than those who do not.

Following a three month experiment, Fredrickson’s team noted that “people who meditated daily continued to display increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, and decreased illness symptoms.”

After learning the basics of meditation, which focuses on breathing, create a daily meditation schedule that works for you. Indeed, just fifteen to twenty minutes of daily meditation may make a massive difference in your life and increase your brain’s capacity. And, you’ll be better equipped to resist the temptation to complain.

7 Signs He Is In Love With You, Even if He Doesn’t Say it

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Men and women display their love and affection in different ways. Most women say, “I love you,” profusely and often, while most men show their deep affinity in their day to day actions.

It can be confusing at times, but that’s because the truth is, men and women think differently. So, we decide to research for you and come up with a list of seven common sets of behaviors that directly demonstrate that he is in love with you, even if he doesn’t say it.

We truly believe that love is in what you do, not always in what you say. It’s easy to say, “I love you,” but true love is demonstrated in action. You know?

7 Signs He Is In Love With You:

quotes about love

1. He isn’t afraid to make sacrifices for you.

Making sacrifices for other people is easier to do when its for someone we care about. It takes selflessness, maturity, and most of all love. Relationships need a balance of mutual sacrifice or one party is left unhappy.

Men who are in love feel tremendous discomfort at the thought of their lady being unhappy, and if it’s something they can prevent, they will. Sometimes they will even go above and beyond to make something work out, just because it’s really important to their partner.

If your man can make sacrifices for your happiness, that is just one way he is saying, “I love you”, without actually saying it.

2. He listens to you.

Studies have found that women are much better listeners than men.  So, when a man not only hears you but actively pays attention and responds – a skill called active listening – you can have confidence that he cares.

Taking it the next step further, if he acts on your conversations, he’s smitten. <3

3. He shows his vulnerability.

Men are generally cautious when it comes to showing any behavior that others can perceive as a weakness. They feel that they need to keep a perfect facade of strength.

But when a man is in love, he begins to let his guard down. He becomes more comfortable and allows his real feelings to show. Vulnerability can take time, but if he’s shown even an ounce, he trusts you enough to let his guard down around you.

4. He loves how you look on your “worst days”.

Most people put effort into looking their absolute very best during those early dates. We want to look and feel good when meeting up with a potential life long partner.

But, once the relationship spawns and we spend more time with each other, comfort levels build, and our need to impress declines sharply. We’re free to wander around in our pajamas, with no makeup or messy hair.

The big takeaway here is that when a man loves a woman, he’ll think she is beautiful no matter what she looks like.

So when he tells you, “You’re beautiful,” when you feel like a mess, take it for what it is and remember that is equivalent to saying, “I love you.”

5. He’s proud of you.

When a man really loves a woman, he shows it by bragging about you. Yep, that’s right a real man isn’t shy about saying how proud he is of you.

Whether you’re a fantastic mother, a hard worker, or achieving your goals, you can rest assured that your efforts don’t go unnoticed to the man that is in love. So when he tells you, it’s his way of saying, “I love you.”

6. He sticks up for you.

This one’s an obvious one, but very important. First let’s be clear, if he doesn’t stick up for you, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. This is a hard one. Most of the time drama and controversy can arise with a close family member or friend.

Most men like to avoid controversy, so if he defends you, that’s big and it’s definitely his way of saying, “I love you.”

7. He treats your family and friends with respect.

This is the last one, but it is surely one of the MOST important. It’s a given that in any relationship, a man should automatically show you, your family and friends respect.  The reason is simple; he cares for you and he needs to properly treat them with care as well.

While he may not like every single one of your family members or  “catty” friends, he’ll keep his opinion to himself, because he knows how much they mean to you. Creating a good report with them is definitely his way of showing you he loves you, without actually saying it.

All in all, the take away here is to remember to appreciate all of the little things that he does and realize that they are acts of love. He may not say he loves you as much as you say it, but his way of displaying affection is biologically different than yours. Deal?!

How many of these behaviors does your man display?

If he displays them all, he could be a keeper. 😉

7 Behaviors People Who Were Unloved As Children Display In Their Adult Lives

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Children need and deserve to know they are secure, safe, and loved. But that’s sadly not always the case.

Early childhood years are a period of rapid change in the brain. Early and middle childhood years are when the brain forms complex network connections at the fastest rate.

The forming of the brain’s neurons – a process known as myelination – is 80% complete by age four. In other words, the future adult’s brain is eight-tenths complete.

According to many scientists, the human subconscious dictates about 95 percent of our behavior. When does this “subconscious programming” take place?

“Beyond having their physical needs for food, water, shelter, and hygiene met, young children also need plenty of emotional and cognitive support, love, and nurturing. Adult caregivers should make it a point to express love and affection for their children every day.” ~ Angela Oswalt, MSW, Natalie Statts-Reiss, Ph.D., and Mark Dombeck, Ph.D.

From birth to six years.

What’s the significance?

As you know, the brain is responsible for almost everything we think, say, and do. If a child isn’t adequately nurtured, brain development is inevitably affected. Hence, the child’s emotional networks are underdeveloped.

The correlation between the childhood brain’s developmental traits and personality characteristics is both indisputable and universal.

Peg Streep, a New York City-based psychologist, explains the relationship between early childhood and adult life:

“While it’s true that everyone’s childhood experience is different … there are nonetheless broad and reliable statements which can be made about the effect of (childhood) experiences. They are invaluable to understanding how your childhood shaped your personality and behaviors.”

Streep’s passage begs the question: Just what behaviors, or signs, does a person display who was unloved and neglected during childhood?

Here are seven behaviors of adults unloved as children:

unloved children

1. Lack of trust

Developing a sense of trust on an individual level requires a steady external environment. During childhood, it is essential that the people around us be relatively stable. We must feel safe and feel some semblance of emotional giving from others.

Without a stable and nurturing environment, the child may very well find it difficult to trust others. Of course, this underdevelopment makes just about every type of relationship difficult.

2. Poor emotional intelligence

Children learn to interpret emotions primarily through dyadic communication such as words and gestures. Both play a crucial role in helping the child articulate their feelings, manage fears, understand negative emotions, and develop resilience.

Without the ability to correctly interpret their emotional states, the child may never develop an essential life quality: emotional intelligence.

3. Fear of failure

Tragically, children who grow up in a neglectful environment never develop a healthy sense of self-worth. On the other hand, a stimulating and loving environment can instill confidence and fortitude.

Unloved children almost certainly feel an absence of self-esteem. This manifests as an unjustifiable sense of failure. Many otherwise intelligent people don’t live up to their potential only because they weren’t loved and embraced as children.

4. Toxic relationships

The human brain learns primarily through association and pattern recognition. In psychology and cognitive neuroscience, pattern recognition is “a cognitive process that matches information from a stimulus (the outside world) with information retrieved from memory.”

Regarding relationships, the unloved child will seek out the familiar; namely, toxic people.

5. Insecurity and attachment

Every legitimate mental health expert will agree that a positive environment outside of the home helps – at least, to some degree – counteract the negativity found inside of the home.

But this is where things get complicated (and infuriating).

If a child can not rely on the very people who are responsible for ensuring his or her caregiving, how can he or she rely on anyone?

children

6. Depression and anxiety

It is no surprise that unloved children often battle mental health issues.

Depression and anxiety stemming from (a) having experienced neglect, and (b) the inevitable complications that surface once the child ages, are commonly-cited experiences.

Depression and anxiety are the two most common mental health issues in the world. And the chances of an adult developing both increases substantially with a history of neglect.

7. Oversensitivity

We’ve all heard the term “Don’t take it personally.” On the whole, this is solid advice. People dealing with their own issues often project these issues onto others, and it behooves us to understand this human inclination.

However, for someone who had the misfortune of growing up in an unloving home, to not take things personally goes against the grain of their psyche. After all, the person must now contend with an intense fear of rejection – a byproduct of feeling insignificant and unloved.

“Stop being so sensitive” is a go-to phrase of abusers; ironically, this belittlement only heaps onto the person’s already fragile sensibilities. This may also result in a leaning towards having panic attacks.

Final Thoughts on Unloved Children

“Overall, caregivers communicate love and nurturing through how they live their own lives.”

Everyone has their own way of showing love to children; but it is through showing love – regardless of the method – that sets the very foundation for the rest of their lives.

In an article named “Early Childhood Love And Nurturing,” written by three prominent child psychologists, the experts provide the following advice:

– Making it a priority to demonstrate love and affection for your children every day.

– Giving words of praise when earned (through chores, academic achievements, etc.)

– Showing a positive outlook and exhibiting emotional maturity (calmness, patience, etc.) creates a peaceful environment for children.

– As a parent or caregiver, feeling “consistently grouchy, irritable, negative, or sad” may hinder a child’s development.

– It is necessary “to get assistance … (through) a support system for encouragement and assistance.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Signs You’re In Love With The Right Person

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Being in love with the right person is one of life’s greatest gifts. There’s a reason why that unique (often elusive) someone is called a soul-mate: because they indeed make us complete in this area.

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” ~ Albert Einstein

Those of us who are fortunate enough to be in love understand both the excitement and the responsibility of it. At a certain point, many of us went through a contemplation period wherein we questioned our feelings of love.

Contemplation and questioning are only natural. Love is a big thing. It is equal parts exciting, rewarding, and scary. (Regarding the last, who hasn’t felt a little fear for their health and safety?)

The meaning of love is very subjective, but we can surely say that anyone who’s experienced being in love with the right person knows it’s the best feeling ever.

While attempting to quantify and define specific “signs” of love is an ambitious (impossible?) task, we nonetheless believe this endeavor worthwhile.

The following ten items may offer comfort, gratitude, and reassurance in your relationships. We sincerely hope these words will bring about some stirring feelings and emotions.

Here are ten signs you’re in the love with the right person:

right person

1. They’re the best part of your day

No matter how good or bad the day is going, our special someone has a way of making it better. There’s something quite magical about our loved one in that their mere presence makes us feel more at peace. There’s something quite thrilling about them, too, as our favorite pastime (e.g., movie watching, eating out) is a lot more exciting and fun when they partake.

2. You worry often

Love is equally exciting and scary, remember? Well, it’s only natural that we occasionally worry for our soulmate. You’ll feel that anxiety in your gut when they start a new job, leave for a trip, or embark on a new life path. You’ll feel a bit of apprehension about their health and safety too.

3. You’re always touching them

It doesn’t matter if you two are on the jumbotron – you’ll happily display your affection by touching, kissing, and caressing. Even non-touchy-feely types will often find themselves feeling or holding whatever appendage of their partner happens to be available.

4. Their pain is yours

That’s right: the whole thing about owning your pain goes out the window the moment you fall in love. We can’t honestly hold onto something if someone else refuses to let go.

Love and pain are inseparable. And it’s the most beautiful (albeit heart-wrenching) type of pain, too.

love

5. You’re ready to throw down

“Who said/did that to you?!?!”

We pride ourselves on being peacemakers here, but tell us there hasn’t been a time when you were ready to bull rush someone (even a group of “someone’s”) who hurt your sweetheart.

Note: It’s the worst feeling when you go after the wrong person. It’s also incredibly embarrassing (believe me.)

Yeah, about that…

6. You’re protective

Listen, if you’re that mellowed-out gal or fellow who lets everything just “be,” even with your partner, count yourself lucky.

We innately protect the people we care for. Smitten men especially, are overprotective when it comes to their women. However, there’s a fine line between being protective and overbearing – don’t cross it!

7. You’re kind of gross

There’s no delicate way to put this, so we won’t try. You’ll burp, fart, bite your nails, and demonstrate sub-optimal hygiene in front of your loved one.

In other words, your little idiosyncrasies come to the surface. Permitted that these imperfections are not deliberate. They can be part of what makes you unique in the other person’s eyes.

8. You think about the future

Okay, so thinking about the future is a bit obvious – but nonetheless important. It’s only natural that, after some time, some consideration is given to the days ahead. Maybe it’s having a lovely home, starting a family, or bettering yourself when settling down.

9. You want to be a better person

In the movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson brilliantly portrays a cold, OCD-diagnosed recluse who manages to insult just about everyone.

After insulting the woman of his dreams, who then promptly demands a compliment instead of leaving, Nicholson says with the utmost sincerity: “You make me want to be a better man.”

While Nicholson’s hapless character almost screws things up again, this epic scene sums up the life-changing power of love.

10. You feel on top of the world

Let’s not get too carried away here. You’ll have good and bad days, the latter sometimes exceeding the former. But after the dust settles and your soulmate is at your side, you’re back on top of that mountain.

And it’s an ever so glorious view.

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Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

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