Toxic relationships can come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are easy to let go – you recognize the signs and you end it, and that’s that. Other times, a toxic relationship can grow so sneakily and steadily that before you realize it, you’re in a relationship that’s detrimental to both your physical and mental health.
Oftentimes, you may be thinking to yourself that a toxic relationship would never happen to you – that you would know immediately what’s wrong and be able to end the relationship. However, it’s not always that simple. Toxic relationships can happen to anyone, and sometimes there are signs that the relationship is not only unhealthy, but harmful.
6 DANGEROUS SIGNS YOU’RE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP THAT’S HURTING YOU
1. YOU CAN’T BE YOURSELF
Relationships are about loving your partner for who they are, without wanting to change them. A sign of a dangerous and toxic relationship is that you feel like you can’t be who you are. You may find yourself putting on a persona, or changing your personality until you don’t recognize yourself. This is a sign that you need to get out. Your partner should never make you feel like you can’t be who you are, or like you have to change to be with them.
2. YOU’RE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
Your partner has high standards, and it’s impossible to meet them. You never feel like you’re enough for your partner, and you never feel like anything you do is worthwhile. If you find yourself constantly thinking of ways to appease your partner, your relationship is already unhealthy. A dangerous relationship is one where one partner manipulates and controls the other – and it’s always easier to control people who have a low self-esteem. Don’t allow yourself to be brought down – you are good enough, and someone out there will be able to see it.
3. YOU’RE CONSTANTLY BEING PUT DOWN
Relationships are about uplifting one another. If your partner is constantly degrading you and talking down to you, then you’re not in a healthy relationship at all. Sometimes, this particular sign can be so slight you don’t even notice it. This can come in the form of constantly criticizing the things you do, like your house work or how well you cooked dinner. If your partner is unable to appreciate you or the growth that you go through, then they’re not worth staying for.
4. YOU FIGHT TO WIN
Arguments happen in relationships, even the healthiest of relationships. However, arguments are often meant to work something out and to come to some kind of compromise. In your relationship, however, you may find yourself fighting to “win”, rather than trying to come up with a solution to the problem. This means that you’ve become full of resentment for your partner – and resentment cannot build a happy relationship.
5. YOUR PARTNER WON’T COMPROMISE
Instead of compromising and working out any issues that the two of you may have, you find that your partner would much rather shirk responsibility and shift the blame onto you. The end of every discussion always has you being the one to bend to your partner’s wishes and demands, or worse, apologizing for trying to come up with a compromise in the first place. Nothing about your relationship is working, but your partner refuses to work on it in any way. This is a sign that it’s just not working.
6. Abuse (mental, emotional, physical or sexual)
Whether it’s verbal, emotional, mental or physical, once your partner starts abusing you, it’s time to go. This can be anything from gaslighting you, calling you names, manipulating you and messing with your head, or physically harming you. If you’ve reached the point where you’re not longer safe with your partner, it’s time to leave. Even if your partner promises never to repeat the abuse, it can be a sign of further incidents down the line. You’re worth more than being abused, and taking yourself to a safer place is your top priority.
Sometimes, it’s so hard to see when a relationship that we once enjoyed has become a source of strain, stress and pain. It can even be tempting to want to try and work it out, even if every time you’ve tried, your partner has been uncooperative. Some toxic behaviors in a relationship can be worked on and fixed, and both partners can grow and move on from the experience.
Other times, a relationship can become dangerous to your well-being – and that’s the time to gather your resources and leave if it’s safe to do so. Build a support network of friends and family, people who can help you when you come to terms with the toxicity in the relationship. After all, you deserve someone who loves and cherishes you and brings nothing but positivity into your life.