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10 Signs Reveal That Someone Lacks Emotional Security (and 5 Causes)

February 1, 2022 by Vinson Waiters

Emotional security is the most sacred and important aptitude that any human being can have, and it must be protected and guarded at all times. But there is an acknowledgment that maintaining emotional security can be tricky at times. There are seasons in everyone’s life when maintaining this status can be challenging.

Noticing these signs is essential to our well-being, as loving ourselves is vital to achieving happiness. Without healthy emotional security, it makes loving ourselves evermore challenging. We become a shell of who we could have been.

We become at risk of losing our social skills, thus unable to communicate. Without social skills, we also lose social intelligence. Lacking emotional security can lead to a cascade of issues that most aren’t aware of.

Ten signs of someone lacking emotional security

Being aware of our emotional security along with those around us is critical. You must recognize and have the social intelligence to witness these changes. Below are ten telltale signs of someone lacking emotional security and the potential causes.

1 – Someone who lacks emotional security is quick to highly-charged rants.

To be sure of yourself and what you can provide to the world means being in reasonable control of your emotions. If you lack that security and reassurance, it can make you prone to outburst. You are quick to use anger and loud outburst to shield your fears, and it can be a coping mechanism.

Having strong emotional security would mean not allowing relatively minor things to cut under the skin. Facing rejection from a partner or co-worker shouldn’t provoke a rant. Instead, it should be an opportunity to look toward the future into how you can improve the next time.

Emotions are important and should be expressed, but emotional security means understanding when it’s appropriate. But if you are prone to emotionally filled rants, that shows a lack of emotional security. Not only that, but it also reveals a lack of social skills.

2 – Feeling helpless and hopeless

Life is meant to be filled with joy and fun. To feel broken and distraught over a long period is a warning sign. You cannot bring yourself out of this dark place.

Without strong emotional backing, it is easy to allow the world’s ills to take hold. You must learn tho to offset negativity by understanding that life gets better. But without emotional security, it’s impossible.

3 – A person low in emotional security freezes up when it’s time to show empathy for others

To be unable to comfort or recognize someone in pain shows a lack of social intelligence. Some people cry with others or hate others, but to be a blank slate is not a good sign. People need emotional connections to feel alive, and to have that lack of awareness can be devastating for the person suffering.

A friend losing a parent would be a moment to comfort them. This behavior is a crucial element in social intelligence. But to do nothing or feel nothing shows a lack of empathy.

4 – Difficulty with relationships

Whether friendly or romantically, there is an emotional element to relationships. Emotions must be shared in a thriving relationship. A partner needs to know they can talk to their significant other about anything.

Lacking emotional security means you cannot share those moments. Or you have a fear of being vulnerable to anyone because you don’t want to be hurt. It makes you feel uncomfortable and tense because you are used to holding everything in.

With your lack of empathy, you lack the ability to provide emotional support, which is crucial in a relationship. So it makes it extremely difficult to maintain any relationship. Relationships are about vulnerability. Without them, it’s as if you are pushing them away.

5 – Excessive consumption of drugs or alcohol

Drinking or using drugs above normal consumption levels could reveal a secret. Without explaining it, the consumption can show an attempt to hide from peers or rejections. Or to escape from reality.

When there is a lack of social skills, that’s when drugs or alcohol come in. It helps people express themselves in a way they were unable to before. It shows they are not in line with their true self, that you are trying to hide behind this mask.

6 – Seeking to please others above yourself

Helping others is always welcome, but there comes a time when it becomes damaging. When you lack emotional security, helping others is a way of hiding from yourself. You don’t want to help yourself or deal with your problems, so you help others.

It comes from the fear of looking deep inside to what may be hurting you. But in the end, it doesn’t stop the pain inside. It simply sits and decays over time.

7 – A person with low emotional security takes constructive criticism personally

Rejection is something most people are afraid of. Even so, most of us can take constructive criticism. When your emotions are not in check, you cannot see and accept the feedback constructively.

It can also lead to confrontation. You get protective and defensive, taking the feedback as an insult. Having your emotions under control can show that this is just one step and that things will be better next time.

8 – A lack of confidence

We are enough as is, but that only reins true if you believe it. You can always feel like something to fix because it’s all being made up in the mind. When there is a lack of confidence, it becomes difficult to express emotions.

You begin to question everything you do. You become afraid of taking chances, like speaking in a group. So instead, you fall back into the crowd at a party, looking to avoid attention.

Being sure of yourself and what you bring to the table not only shows emotional maturity. It’s a critical element of social intelligence. It will allow you to pursue your dreams and not doubt yourself.

9 – Anger stays in the heart of someone with low emotional security

Anger is another emotion that we all express. But just like any emotion, it is not meant to stay. Having only anger in your heart shows the instability of being a rational thinker.

Anger becomes the easiest to express if you can’t control your emotions. It becomes difficult to move on and easy to hold grudges. You feel as though everyone is against you and judging you when that is not the case.

It becomes like a poison in the heart that can’t be contained—breaking friendship and bonds that mean so much to you.

10 – Making unfair self-comparisons

Comparing ourselves to others shows a lack of confidence in ourselves. It shows a lack of acceptance for who you are and a call to be something else. It makes you prone to depression as you can not look in the mirror and love what you see.

Instead of embracing yourselves, you look to join the rat race of society. You might use social media to point out flaws and dig yourself further into a hole. You never allow yourself to accept who you are and what you bring to the table.

5 Causes of diminished emotional security

Now that you know the signs of this condition, you might wonder. What causes low emotional security?

1 – Unhealthy (or lacking) childhood attachment

A child needs attachment to develop social skills, social intelligence, and emotional tolerance. Having no childhood attachments can instill fear into the child that spreads to adulthood. A child must have a parent who shows them affectionate emotions to see and replicate those emotions.

Without these attachments, the child becomes susceptible to outside influences. It heightens the chances of suffering from substance abuse as they get older. It forbids them the opportunity to understand how to develop meaningful relationships.

2 – Internal Stress

Fear, anxiety, and rejection all lead to the deterioration of emotional security. Whether real or made up by our minds, these are caveats to stress. It creates this heightened sense of emotions that makes it difficult to differentiate fact from fiction.

It can cause issues within a romantic relationship. You begin to view your partners as the root cause of your problems. It is a way of passing the bucket or trying to make sense of your feelings.

3 – Failed romantic relationship

Connection is the most important thing to people. Without ever experiencing that connection, we never gain the ability to care for others. In return, we never develop empathy or understand how to put others before ourselves in a healthy way.

We then begin to doubt our worth as a person. A pain that sticks with us for the long haul. If that romantic relationship never develops, we continue to lose emotional standing.

4 – Traumatic events

With the addition of trauma, whether from a job or accident. The trauma will heighten your emotions, but that isn’t always good. It causes you to question things, look over your shoulders and cause a lack of social intelligence.

With your emotions heightened, it will lead to misunderstanding and outbursts. There is a lack of trust in yourself and the people around you. Trauma can cause a person who was once open and welcoming to shun the people around them.

5 – Rejection

Be it a job or a potential spouse, past rejections can cause one to be on guard at all times. We all seek to protect our hearts, but inevitably rejection will come. This wound can lead the body to go into overload to help it avoid future rejection.

Thus, your social skills are compromised, so you can no longer speak to people freely. There is this nagging inclination to remain closed off, to avoid future rejection and pain. But with emotional security on the decline, you don’t see it that way.

Final thoughts on the causes of reduced feelings of emotional security

We all want our emotional security to be the best it can be. We also like to think that the emotional security of the people around us is good. But the truth is not always the case. We all have our fear of the future or fear of rejection, which leaves our emotional security in constant flux.

Without emotional security, we can not expect to have the necessary social skills. We can not expect to have the social intelligence needed to navigate life. A lack of emotional security will impede us from doing fundamental things and being social creatures.

To an extent, our friends and loved ones must always be aware of emotional security. The signs signaling a lack of emotional security can be minor but there. If we wish to live a thriving life of sociality, we need our emotional security.

6 Science Proven Facts About Emotional Validation Never to Ignore

January 31, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Emotional validation is a response that involves communicating acceptance of feelings, beliefs, and thoughts. This action can be applied to the self or others. Essentially, it means having no immediate judgments, putting aside personal opinions, and focusing on genuinely hearing out the emotion in question.

Not everyone realizes just how crucial emotional validation is. If more people were aware of its essential nature, they might put more effort into making it a part of their lives! Here are six science-proven facts about emotional validation never to ignore.

1. Emotional Validation Forms Better Relationships Through Communication

Undoubtedly, relationship experts often cite communication as one of the essential pillars of a relationship of any kind. As such, your familial, platonic, and romantic relationships can benefit from improved communication.

Emotional validation is a vital part of healthy communication. Conversations where both parties validate the feelings of the other have a better and happier outcome, after all. This satisfaction strengthens bonds, allowing people to become more connected. Here are some ways that emotional validation helps communication and fosters better relationships:

· Communicating Acceptance and Value

Acceptance is an integral part of different close relationships. Indeed, acceptance is the bare minimum, and emotionally intelligent people know this is key for peaceful co-existence. For even better relationships, you have to communicate that you value someone’s feelings, too. Studies show that emotional validation effectively communicates acceptance and care for others.

· Deactivating Defenses

Defensiveness is not beneficial to communication at all. When you invalidate how someone feels, they automatically defend themselves. They think they have to justify their emotions since you seem to dismiss them. On the other hand, emotional validation puts those defenses at ease. Thus, it allows for healthy, open communication with better emotional intelligence.

· Communicating Safety

To have healthy, open communication, people must feel relatively safe talking about the topic at hand. Emotional validation allows someone to be vulnerable safely and securely for them. They don’t need to fear judgment and can therefore be more honest.

· Making Others Feel Heard

Communication involves both speaking and listening. When someone talks about how they feel, helping them feel heard benefits overall communication. Validating someone’s emotions shows them that you hear them, believe them, and are willing to listen even more.

· Aiding Emotional Regulation

To communicate effectively, one must be able to regulate their emotions appropriately. Emotional validation facilitates this by reducing the intensity of those feelings, according to research.

2. Emotional Validation Predicts Marriage Outcomes

Some people roll their eyes at the necessity of validating emotions in a marriage. We’ve already discussed how important the habit is for strengthening relationships by communication. But that’s not all! Experts can predict if a marriage will last based on whether or not emotional validation is present in a couple’s interaction. And of course, what expert would discover this better than famous psychologist John Gottman himself?

Gottman conducted the study in this manner. Gottman set up a bed-and-breakfast at a lab at the University of Washington. They took 130 newlywed couples to the “retreat” in the lab to spend one day there. Researchers then watched each pair to see how they interacted and worked during daily tasks. These tasks included cleaning, preparing meals, talking, and spending time together. Finally, the research team touched base with each couple for the next six years.

Findings About the Emotional Validation Survey Found This:

Throughout the day, partners would make small requests for connection. These connections were simple statements like comments on random events or seemingly insignificant details.
The goal for the partners making these bids for connection was to connect with their partners through shared appreciation or interest. Even a short moment of connection was considered valuable and sought-after.
The other partner in this scenario could respond in multiple different ways. They could react positively, negatively, or neutrally with disinterest. Gottman considered positive responses to be “turning toward.” Conversely, they called neutral and negative responses “turning away.”
Couples who “turned away” two-thirds of the time would end up divorced in the next six years.
Couples who “turned toward” 87% of the time remained together after six years.

What does this tell us? Even small requests for emotional needs to be met are essential. The tiny amount of emotional validation that comes from these little moments adds up over time. It also reveals a lot about respect, connection, and communication in a relationship. Using this knowledge, Gottman can predict, with 94% accuracy, if couples will remain together happily. All that, just based on emotional validation levels!

3. A Lack of Childhood Emotional Validation Follows Into Adulthood

Children and adolescents can be profoundly harmed by emotional invalidation. Kids need to receive emotional validation from their parents or guardian figures at a young age. It’s essential to their development of healthy communication and coping skills. In fact, young people at this age who don’t receive emotional validation may be at risk of developing:

· Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD involves unstable relationships, emotions, and self-image. Someone with the disorder’s sense of self may change dramatically and suddenly with their feelings. Emotional invalidation may increase and cause the dysregulation in emotions that are so common with the condition, say studies.

· Eating Disorders

Anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder where individuals starve themselves and count calories obsessively, can be caused by emotional invalidation. When this invalidation reaches the point of emotional abuse, research indicates children may grow up to develop eating disorders like this.

· Self-Harm Can Stem from a Lack of Emotional Validation

Self-harm or self-injury involves intentionally causing harm to oneself with various physical or emotional means. It can be performed to express emotion, cope with strong feelings, or due to an inability to feel emotions accurately. Adolescents who are invalidated emotionally by their parents have a higher risk of self-harm, say studies.

The worst part is that these issues don’t go away quickly! They can continue to be a significant problem for those kids as they grow up. As adults, they’ll have to deal with the effects of the invalidation from their childhood in long-term healing processes.

4. Emotional Validation Doesn’t Mean Accepting Poor Treatment

Emotions can be the source of many different behaviors. Some behaviors are less acceptable than others. The ability to provide emotional validation to someone should not get in the way of your wellbeing. If someone is treating you negatively, abusively, aggressively, inappropriately, or otherwise poorly, you should remove yourself from that situation. In the meantime, you can:

Say you would like to listen to them and communicate about the situation. However, you cannot do that until the other party is calmer.
Say you’ll come back to talk to them again later when you’ve both had time to think and cool off.
Please encourage them to seek professional aid with someone who can properly, truly help them with their issues.

It’s important to remember that you’re not in charge of removing the other person’s feelings. When tired and in need of a break, enforce your boundaries. If things escalate and you face poor treatment, it’s time to get out of there! Your happiness, respect, and safety matter, too.

5. A Lack Of Emotional Validation Has Long-Term Consequences

Many people don’t realize how crucial emotional validation is to someone’s life and psychological state. It’s easy to brush something that seems so simple under the rug! But the long-term consequences of repeated invalidation of emotion speak for themselves. These consequences include the following:

· Identity Issues

When emotions are regularly invalidated, someone’s sense of self can erode. The invalidated person may feel that they aren’t accepted and can develop poor self-esteem.

· Emotional Management Issues

Emotional invalidation involves the act of regularly telling someone that how they feel is incorrect. As a result, it causes confusion, distrust in emotions, and many self-doubts. This can cause those who face this to have trouble recognizing and regulating their emotions. They may even start to dismiss their own experiences as unreal or gaslight themselves into believing they’re being too sensitive.

· Mental Health Conditions

Repeated emotional invalidation increases the risk of developing mental health disorders. Anxiety, depression, and even personality disorders can occur due to treatment. Feelings of hopelessness, stress, and self-doubt grow into chronic problems. Those who already struggle with mental illness will face exacerbated symptoms and may invalidate those symptoms due to invalidation.

6. You Can Accidentally Invalidate Emotions With Good Intentions

Emotional validation often has to be consciously given. Unfortunately, emotional invalidation is way too easy to give accidentally! A lot of people believe that good intentions override any invalidating statements. But the truth is that you can emotionally invalidate someone without meaning to, even when your preferences are entirely pure. This may happen by:

· Trying To Help

Attempts to fix a situation, offer solutions, or give advice can invalidate someone seeking emotional support. Instead of allowing the person to vent and express themselves, these attempts “silence” them.

· Conflating Emotional Validation With Agreement

Some people think that you can’t validate someone who believes something negative about themselves. If someone says, “I feel so unloved,” you might want to say they aren’t quickly. But this invalidates how they feel and doesn’t allow them to talk about their emotions and experiences!

· Wanting The Best For Someone

Many people accidentally invalidate emotions because they want the best for someone. Thus, they’ll dismiss someone’s fear or anxiety in favor of pushing them forward. This support is excellent, but there are times when a listening ear is the best form of support!

· Assuming You Know What They Mean

If you assume you understand someone’s emotions, you could get it wrong and miss the point. When in doubt, it’s always best to ask for clarification on someone’s feelings.

· Talking About Yourself

Some people try to validate others by expressing how they relate. They’ll share instances where they went through similar things in an attempt to show their empathy and cheer the other person up. But this can make it look like they’re making everything about them!

Final Thoughts On Facts About Emotional Validation To Never Ignore

Emotional validation is an incredible way to form healthy communication, connections, and relationships. It avoids the many adverse effects of invalidation and focuses on positive acceptance and understanding. So learning to avoid invalidation and perpetuate validation is vital for everyone!

15 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn by Going Through Pain

January 31, 2022 by Kristen Butler

The saying is that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger, but sometimes you must doubt this age-old wisdom. Why is it so hard to see the silver lining when you’re stuck in the middle of life’s storms? Going through pain certainly changes you, but not all changes you experience are bad.

Once you clear out all the cobwebs of your trouble, you will begin to see the lessons that these storms taught you. Take, for instance, someone who goes through a hurricane for the first time. The second time around, they do things entirely differently because they’ve learned how to weather these storms.

Why are people so much more intelligent the second time around? You learn and grow when you’ve already been through the situation once. While dealing with the storms of life are never more manageable, you will learn and grow from these experiences.

Life Lessons You Learn from Going Through Pain

People hate weathering these storms, but can you imagine the sun shining every day? How would the flowers get water to maintain their beauty, and how would they grow? See, the storms arrive to help you grow and become better.

When you wallow in your agony and feel sorry for yourself, you’ve become a victim and not learned a thing. Here are some things that can help you deal with your painful situations and learn lessons.

1. You Learn from Your Mistakes

Going through pain can remind you that there’s no such thing as a perfect person. You’re human, and making mistakes is inevitable. When you mess up, it’s easy to throw in the towel and quit. Instead, you can use your shortcomings and errors as a learning curve.

Be willing to accept your failures, correct them, and keep striving toward your goals. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall if you pick yourself up and start walking again. Your past failures don’t define your future.

2. Boosted Resiliency Comes From Going Through Pain

It doesn’t matter if a tree is a towering oak or a humble sapling in a catastrophic windstorm. The only trees that survive are the ones that have learned to bend. As you weather the vicious storms in your life, you build resiliency that allows you to bend and not break.

According to an article published by Psychology Today, resiliency is your ability to maintain stability personally and socially regardless of your adversity. You realize that nothing lasts forever, even your pain. This essential understanding keeps you bouncing back to life and moving forward.

3. You Gain More Independence by Going Through Pain

When you’re going through a difficult battle, nobody understands. They may be supportive and empathetic, but it’s your journey to travel. In these dark hours of your soul, you gain the courage not just to lock yourself in your room forever.

Going through pain helps you realize there are many things you can’t control in your life. However, you do maintain your attitude and the choices you make. Each victory empowers you to be more confident in your future.

4. You Find Who Your Real Friends Are

Let’s face it; everyone has a few people in their circle who are “fair-weather” friends. When everything is sunny and popping up roses, they are right by your side to enjoy the benefits. However, they’re strangely absent when you’re devastated by loss or find yourself in other dire circumstances.

You quickly learn how to discern your real friends from those who are always there when they need you. Take this opportunity to cut ties with unsupportive people or toxic relationships. If they can’t be with you in the sun and the rain, they don’t deserve to be in your circle.

5. Going Through Pain Helps You Start Listening to Your Body

Your body is adept at sending signals when something is wrong on the inside. Those minor unexplainable aches and pains may be pointing to a more severe health issue.

However, your body can also be warning you about problems with your mental or spiritual health. Once you’ve fought a health battle, you learn to be more in-tune with your system.

6. The Healing Balm of Music

Music is a universal language that speaks to your body, mind, and spirit. The lyrics, rhythm, and harmony can soothe your wounded heart and bring joy to your soul. Listening to your favorite tunes can help you deal with your emotions and revitalize your willpower.

7. You Define Your Goals

Painful trials will quickly bring your focus to what’s most important to you. Sometimes, it’s the disappointments and temporary setbacks that allow you to see the big picture and define your goals. It helps cultivate patience, compassion, and self-care.

8. You’re An Example to Your Children

If you’re like most parents, you try to shield your kids from the pain and disappointment of the adult world. You figure that they’ll grow up soon enough and discover it for themselves. However, their little eyes are watching you as an example of how to deal with stress and challenging family issues.

If you self-medicate with substance abuse, you’re giving your children the wrong message. Using proper coping skills and reaching out for help sets a healthy example. Show them that although life has many hurts, you can still overcome them and fulfill your dreams.

9. Going Through Pain Helps You Get Through Stress Easier

The things that you must deal with in life can paralyze you, and you let your feelings and emotions get the best of you. When you think of all the stress and anxiety you must face, you often don’t have the strength to get out of bed. However, it’s your choice how you respond to your stressors.

When these hurtful times come, you learn to manage your stress more effectively. These times of great hurt have a strange way of teaching you to handle the discomfort, but you know to manage the angst you feel.

10. Relationships Have New Meaning

You have many relationships in your life that you juggle, including relations with your spouse, family, friends, and coworkers. While you can’t make it in life without people, sometimes these folks can make things quite miserable for you.

What happens when you lose someone that you hold so near and dear? Death is inevitable, but your loss is so much more than just their presence. You also lose the dreams and plans that you shared as the future rips away from you.

Losing someone you love causes you to re-evaluate people in your life. You learn how meaningful relationships are to you, and you treat people differently. Death and grief change you, so does going through pain from other types of loss.

11. You Learn the Meaning of Unconditional Love

No one is at their best when they’re under pressure. You come home from a rough day at the office, and you’re cranky, tired and dare anyone to mess with you. How many times have you come home and take out your stress on the ones you love?

However, the people in your inner circle love you on the good and the bad days. They’ve seen you at your best and your worst, and they stay right by your side. Struggles teach you about unconditional love, and your loved ones are your anchor in times of storms.

12. Money Habits Change When You’re Going Through Pain

Sometimes losses are financial. You can lose a job, file bankruptcy, or experience another economic catastrophe. Did you know those money problems can make you physically sick?

According to an article published by Personal Finance Money Tips, they discuss Dr. Roger Henderson and his groundbreaking discovery in 2006 with money sickness syndrome. While this is popular in the United Kingdom, it’s just starting to gain steam in this country. Your financial struggles can take a toll on your health.

However, being in financial turmoil can also teach you some valuable lessons. Once you’ve been broke, you learn a new respect for each dollar you spend, and you’re not so quick to throw money away. Have you ever met someone who went through The Great Depression? They learned to be resourceful with minor things, as they had no choice.

13. Dogs Truly Are Human’s Best Friend

There’s lots of research that shows how valuable pets are to your health. Have you ever come home from a hard day, and your pet was so happy to see you? Pets love unconditionally, and they are indeed your best friend.

Animals can help lower your stress levels and boost your feel-good hormones. So, when you’re going through pain, pets are great to have around you.

14. Breaking Out of Your Normal Routine Is Helpful

Routines are good and bad. While it’s great to put yourself on a schedule, you don’t want to get stuck in a rut of monotony. It’s often beneficial to break free from the daily grind and try something different, and it can be pretty therapeutic.

Sometimes you need a change of scenery and stop wallowing in the same pain and sorrow that doesn’t seem to lift. When you get out and explore a bit, it shows you that the world is so much bigger and better than your problems.

15. Appreciation for the Good Times Grows After Going Through Pain

Going through pain and trauma gives you a better appreciation for the good times. Though we don’t like that we have good days and bad, if it didn’t rain a little bit, you wouldn’t know how stunning it is when the sun shines. You learn to appreciate the good times, and the bad times remind us that there’s better weather ahead.

Final Thoughts on Life Lessons from Going Through Pain

Going through pain is challenging, but there’s a glimmer of hope through it all. You must first acknowledge that the Universe is trying to teach you something, and second, you must embrace the storms. Have you ever heard that saying that you should dance in the rain?

Every day of your life, there’s the chance of heartbreak, sickness, loss, death, and change. Setbacks happen constantly, but as it states in Psalms 30:5, weeping only lasts but for the night, but joy will come in the morning. So hold on, embrace the storm, for it’s bringing wisdom and growth.

15 Achievement Quotes to Celebrate a “Win” in Life

January 31, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

The achievement of a goal is always worth a celebration, but you must work hard to get that win. When things work out in your favor, you shouldn’t let the moment pass without congratulating yourself. Your hard work, dedication, positive thinking, and discipline deserve a celebration each time.

Part of the excitement of goal setting is the feeling you get when you reach your goal. The moment you realize all of your hard work paid off and that you did what you set out to do is incomparable to anything else. No matter what field you work in or what you strive for, reaching goals is an exciting time.

It’s sometimes hard to celebrate yourself because you are too busy with other things or think you deserve it. However, always take the time to celebrate a win because you worked hard for it. These quotes can help you celebrate all of your achievements, pushing you to reach more of your goals.

15 Achievement Quotes to Celebrate a “Win” in Life

Remember that if you want to celebrate a win, you must work hard to achieve your goals. It requires dedication and determination, or you’ll miss out on the achievement. Use these quotes to help you stay motivated and celebrate your accomplishments along the way.

1. “Winning doesn’t always mean being first. Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.” – Bonnie Blair

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, and focus on positive thinking as you work to meet your goals. Winning doesn’t mean you beat everyone else to the finish line. If you want to celebrate a win, all that you have to do is strive to do better than you did in the past.

As long as you reach your goals and improve personally, you have plenty of reason to celebrate. If you do better than before, take the time to reward yourself. Self-improvement takes dedication, so don’t downplay your achievements.

2. “I try to do the right thing at the right time. They may be little things, but usually they make the difference between winning and losing.” – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Timing is everything when it comes to reaching your goals. As Abdul-Jabbar explains, even doing little things at the right time can make a huge difference.

If you want to win, pay attention to the timing of what you’re doing. Then, you can align it with the most beneficial moment and celebrate a life win.

3. “I think that I am a walking testimony to you can have scars. You can go through turbulent times and still have victory in your life.” – Natalie Cole

Everyone goes through hard times, but it doesn’t mean you can’t reach your goals. Don’t give up when things become turbulent because you can still do everything you set out to do. When you push through hardships, the win will be even more exciting for you, helping with the celebration.

4. “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

When you reach your goals, celebrating can help you go even further. Each time you praise and reward yourself, it promotes motivation to push even more. Before you know it, you’ll have reached your dreams and given yourself the life you deserve.

5. “If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” – William Hazlitt

If you want to achieve your goals, you must believe you can win. When you believe in yourself, anything is possible. However, without faith, you won’t find success.

Remember this achievement quote so that you always know to believe in yourself. The only thing you need to reach your goals is hard work and faith in yourself.

6. “I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come indirectly through accident, except the phonograph. No, when I have fully decided that a result is worth getting, I go about it, and make trial after trial, until it comes.” – Thomas Edison

When you want to achieve something and celebrate a win, you must plan. You can’t rush into things blindly because nothing worthwhile happens by accident.

Once you decide you want to do something, you must keep trying until you get it right. Each time you fail, you can still celebrate because trying again is a win in its way.

7. “If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high, but so are the rewards.” – Bear Bryant

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself. Stay dedicated to reaching your goals, and don’t give up if things get tricky. If you can follow this advice, you’ll always be a winner.

You might have to sacrifice to achieve your goals, but it’ll be well worth the hard work. Then, you can reap all of the rewards and celebrate yourself afterward.

8. “For me, winning isn’t something that happens suddenly on the field when the whistle blows and the crowds roar. Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream.” – Emmitt Smith

You can’t wait until the final moment to get a win. Instead, you have to work hard every day leading up to the event. When you put in the hard work and dedication each day and achieve the goal, you deserve to celebrate.

9. “If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work.” – Thomas J. Watson

If you want to celebrate a win, you must always do excellent work. Do your best, and you’ll achieve all of your goals, giving you plenty to celebrate.

10. “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” – George Herbert

Don’t wait to work toward your goals because the timing will never be perfect. The sooner you get started, the sooner you can celebrate your win. Use whatever you have right now to get started, and you’ll find more accessible tools along the way.

11. “Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” – Mary Kay Ash

When you limit yourself, you stand in the way of your success. You can do whatever you think you can, but limiting yourself doesn’t allow you to go far. Remember this quote and avoid limiting yourself so that you can celebrate all of your wins.

12. “If you care about what you do and work hard at it, there isn’t anything you can’t do if you want to.” – Jim Henson

You will have many wins to celebrate in life if you enjoy what you do and work hard. There are no limits to what you can do when you stay dedicated and determined. Plus, hard work is always worthy of celebrating, so you won’t have to look far for a reason.

13. “In every adversity, there lies the seed of an equivalent advantage. In every defeat is a lesson showing you how to win the victory next time.” – Robert Collier

When things don’t go as planned the first time, don’t stress about it. Instead, use defeat as a learning opportunity to win next time. If you learn something, you can even still consider it a win because you’ve made progress either way.

14. “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar

While you might gain money or other things when you achieve your goals, there is more to it than that. As Ziglar explains, you become a better person when working hard to make things happen. As you celebrate your win, remember this quote and celebrate who you are becoming as a person.

15. “Earning happiness means doing good and working, not speculating and being lazy. Laziness may look inviting, but only work gives you true satisfaction.” – Anne Frank

If you want to be happy and celebrate, you must work hard. Laziness won’t get you anywhere, but hard work is what brings satisfaction. Remember this quote as an encouragement to keep reaching goals and celebrating your wins.

Final Thoughts on Achievement Quotes to Celebrate a “Win” in Life

These achievement quotes can help you remember to celebrate all of your wins. You deserve to celebrate anytime you reach a goal, so don’t hold back. It’s also essential to remember that winning requires hard work, so always strive to do your best.

If you want to celebrate a win, make sure to be realistic when goal setting and continue working toward them. No matter how small the goals are, celebrate and reward yourself each time.

Woman Sheds Over 200 Pounds and Becomes a Bodybuilding Competitor

January 31, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Being a bodybuilding competitor probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. However, for a woman named Jessica, it naturally progressed to that level after she started a workout regimen. Many people who exercise regularly find that it becomes an addiction after a while. Being a bodybuilder may appeal to the gym rats who crave the adrenaline rush from pumping iron.

Jessica found that being a bodybuilding competitor boosted her self-confidence and kept her focused on achieving new goals. However, like most people who reach that level, Jessica had humble beginnings.

“The beginning was pretty hard – just exercising was hard, just walking was hard for me. There was a lot of stuff I could not do,” Jessica said. “So, I had to do a lot of modifications, but I didn’t give up; I just kept going, and I told myself, ‘You know what? If I can’t right now, eventually I can.’”

That attitude set her up for success, and she adhered to her workout routine. After a while, she noticed she felt much stronger and could lift heavier weights. She began her journey on January 5, 2019 at 354.2 pounds. She felt devastated looking at that number and couldn’t believe she’d let herself get to that point.

Carrying that much weight around made her feel miserable, and she often suffered from back, shoulder and neck pain. Luckily, she didn’t have any major health scares, but her blood pressure and menstrual cycles were abnormal. Not wanting to risk her health any longer, she decided to make the necessary changes once and for all.

Woman Sheds Over 200 Pounds and Becomes a Bodybuilding Competitor

“When I started my journey, I started doing boot camp, which is a full body workout for just 30 minutes, and that really helped me a lot,” Jessica says. “I also did a little bit of strength training, high intensity interval training, and then a little bit of cardio. And it was hard – it was not easy at all – especially being 354 pounds and going to a gym.”

She said in the past, typical gyms didn’t work for her, so she tried a new exercise plan this time. It took her a few months to start seeing results, but the effort paid off eventually. She noticed changes in her face and waist at first, which encouraged her to keep going. Jessica also dropped weight fairly quickly because she altered her diet for weight loss.

Basically, she eliminated or greatly reduced her intake of fast food, processed food, sweets, and any other unhealthy foods. In place of those, she focused on eating low carb, low fat and low sugar foods. By the second month, she’d lost 20 pounds from diet and exercise alone. At 5 months and 2 weeks, she’d lost a remarkable 100 pounds from her dramatic lifestyle change.

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A post shared by Warrior Jessica ⬇️ 200+ (@warrior_jessica_slashes_fat)

Her success story proves that by staying dedicated to your goals, small changes can lead to bigger ones. Of course, you don’t have to become a bodybuilding competitor like her – even casually working out can make a difference.

Her advice to anyone looking to become healthier is to focus on changing one habit at a time. If you make too many changes at once, you’ll get overwhelmed and revert back to your old ways. So, it’s important to pace yourself so you can stick to the new lifestyle for the long haul.

Also, she says to see any changes in your life, you have to love yourself and believe in yourself. Even at her heaviest, she still loved herself because you can’t make changes from a place of hate. Only by accepting yourself, flaws and all, can you remove the inner resistance to change.

How to Become a Bodybuilding Competitor

Are you interested in following in Jessica’s footsteps to compete onstage? If so, take this advice from the experts at bodybuilding.com:

If you want to become a bodybuilding competitor, know that it will take months of rigorous training. Plus, you’ll have to follow a fairly restrictive diet that focuses on high protein and low carbs.
About a year beforehand, you should pick your show and create a training program.
In the off-season, make sure to eat plenty of protein at regular intervals throughout the day (about 3 hours apart).
To be a bodybuilding competitor, you’ll want to develop a workout routine that combines cardio and strength training. Don’t skimp on the aerobic exercises, because this will help burn fat and make your muscles look more defined. Aim for two or three cardio sessions of 30-60 minutes per week.
Work on your mandatory poses so you feel comfortable on stage. The poses consist of relaxed poses, which include front relaxed, left/right side relaxed and back relaxed. They also include compulsory poses: front double biceps, front lat spread, right/left side chest, right/left side triceps, rear lat spread, rear back double biceps, most abdominal and most muscular.
About 12 weeks out, order your posing suits for contest day. Make sure you account for weight loss and order about two sizes smaller than your current size.
If you’re serious about being a bodybuilding competitor, take pictures of yourself posing after each workout. You want to get an idea of how you’ll look before the judges.
Finally, don’t forget to ask other bodybuilding competitors for advice or mentorship. Since they know the industry well, you can count on them for any questions or support you need.

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A post shared by Warrior Jessica ⬇️ 200+ (@warrior_jessica_slashes_fat)

Final Thoughts on One Woman Went From Overweight to a Bodybuilding Competitor

When someone commits to a healthy lifestyle, their inner fire burns brighter, making it easier to accomplish goals. Some people love working out so much that they become a bodybuilding competitor eventually. That’s what happened to Jessica when she made up her mind to get healthy and lose weight. She hadn’t planned on competing as a bodybuilder, but she realized that being onstage helped her self-worth.

After struggling to lose weight for years, Jessica inspired millions of women to adopt a healthy lifestyle themselves. She also reminds women that they shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for having loose skin or cellulite. Jessica won her competition without a perfectly shredded body, because it’s not about how you look; it’s about how you shine from within that truly matters.

Twitter Users Explain What It’s Like Being an Empath

January 30, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Being an empath means feeling others’ emotions as your own, which sometimes gets overwhelming. The second an empath walks into a room, they can easily read the energy and respond accordingly. They know how someone feels without them having to utter a word. This ability may sound like a blessing. However, many empaths know the darker side to their gift as well.

Others will notice your receptive, sympathetic approach to people, and before you know it, everyone’s asking you for advice. Strangers will start to unload their baggage on you in public because you radiate kind, loving energy. It’s certainly a privilege to help others unburden themselves, but it can take its toll if you’re too open.

Being an empath means knowing when to set boundaries and protect your energy. It’s a balancing act when you’re an empath because you don’t want to shut others out entirely. It simply means knowing when to ground yourself and recharge to continue sharing your gift with others.

Do You Think You Might Be an Empath?

Here are some common signs and traits of empathic souls:

You deeply relate to how others feel. In other words, you can quickly put yourself in their shoes.
You require tons of solitude to shield yourself from the world
Closeness and intimacy can feel overwhelming at times
Being an empath means having heightened intuition
You tend to steer clear of noisy, crowded places like shopping malls or concerts
Empaths love a quiet night in with a good book and a cup of tea (or coffee)
You’re highly independent and don’t like following someone else’s schedule
People, even strangers, will pour out their life stories to you
Stimuli, such as sounds, smells, and sensations, can easily overwhelm you
Being an empath means having a strong dislike for conflict. In fact, you’re a natural peacekeeper
You probably feel like you don’t fit in anywhere
You have a difficult time setting boundaries
Empaths find healing and solace in nature or around animals

Below, we’ll share firsthand accounts of those who identify as an empath and know the struggle it entails.

Twitter Users Explain What It’s Like Being an Empath

Empaths can read you down to your body language. You can’t hide anything from them even if you try.

Empaths #mindsjournal #themindsjournal #empath pic.twitter.com/xOCUuFzGDg

— The Minds Journal (@TheMindsJournal) December 2, 2021

Some days, being an empath feels

like a curse. Other times, it feels like the greatest gift that only sensitive people can understand.

Being an #empath is like having real life superpowers.

— RAE (@Rae_O_Sunshinee) December 29, 2021

Empaths don’t act fake. Period.

I feel this in my soul. #empath pic.twitter.com/XzS2XonrTz

— Danni (@dchinn2005) October 13, 2021

Always remember the importance of breathing. In stressful situations, it’s easy to tense up and become overwhelmed with what’s going on. But, that’s when self-care and staying grounded matter the most.

Can anyone else relate? #HighlySensitivePerson #INFJ #Empath #HappyBeingALoner #MARINA pic.twitter.com/hbvTsosWev

— Val ☕️ (@ArtSavvyVal) December 6, 2021

Don’t hide your mess because it’s what makes you beautiful. Own yourself, down to the deepest part of you. It’s ok to be messy.

Via: @ritualofheart #onewiththeuniverse #cosmos #onelove #empath #empaths #empathessentials #hsp #introverts #infj #inspiration #inspirationalquotes #goodvibes #goodenergy pic.twitter.com/SS92LPwuyG

— Empath Essentials (@MpathEssentials) December 29, 2021

If you’re an empath, you will easily relate to these aspects of the highly sensitive person

.

Good morning, I hope you all had a lovely weekend

An empath is someone that experiences the emotions of others deeply, you may recognise other signs below

Take care as always, love me x#empath #mentalhealth #BeKindAlways #BeKind pic.twitter.com/coXduuKy7K

— Aimee ✨ (@aswayners) November 22, 2021

Remember,

it’s not your job to fix everyone. Heal yourself first, and that vibration will naturally radiate to everyone you encounter.

Not being able to fix everybody is hard lesson to learn ‍♀️ #empath #canthelpeveryone pic.twitter.com/3cnUQG6b63

— HealingHeart76 (@HHeart76) November 2, 2021

It’s perfectly okay to focus on yourself for a while when you feel overwhelmed. You may feel obligated to help everyone, but you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Expectations can be disappointing. We have the #empath who cares deeply for others. I #believe we all begin as empaths; however, many lost their way & became guarded & pushed people away to avoid the #hurt. Stay strong & keep being empaths for us, but keep your expectations small pic.twitter.com/GjlA9jbqiN

— Kai Bakken (@LOONAHTIQUE) December 29, 2021

Being an empath means spreading your love to others but also valuing your alone time. All that energy can drain empaths, even the extroverted ones among us!

exactly #introvert #empath pic.twitter.com/OesX3BonOD

— Fi – Herbalist (she/her) (@Herbalust) December 26, 2021

Everyone knows the INFJ personality type is the expert unofficial psychologist! When you want a second opinion on someone, just call on their empath skills.

Allow me to use my INFJ scanner and x-ray vision. LOL! #INFJ #Empath pic.twitter.com/TAkdTd0NIc

— Flame Semiotic (@MidniteAffinity) December 29, 2021

If you know an empath, their

soul will shine right through them. Their eyes give them away every time.

Are you an #Empath? pic.twitter.com/gjkGf8qbXW

— Madame Yasmeen (@MadameYasmeen) December 28, 2021

Just because they love to heal people doesn’t mean they don’t need healing too. Being an empath isn’t easy, so show some extra love to your empath friends. They’re not always okay, even if they seem like it on the outside.

Please remember, it’s ok to not be ok. Sometimes we can care so much about other ppl that we absorb their stress and hurt. Protect your peace and mental health too. #icare #youmatter #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #mentalhealth #empath pic.twitter.com/8yAE7GZKld

— Tye (@bigkidatheart77) December 8, 2021

Being an empath means following your heart and listening to your gut no matter what. Others may try to guide you, but an intuitive being like you knows best.

Trust your instincts. #empath #WednesdayMotivation #instinct #intuition pic.twitter.com/xsFWg9SgfE

— Lisa Hutchison LMHC (@Connectsp_lisah) December 22, 2021

Self-aware empaths know how to tune their inner frequency to attract a better environment. Shout out to the empaths out there who use their gift in this amazing way!

When my inner dialogue is telling me that I’m safe, unconditionally loved, and accepted, I then radiate this energy outward and change my external world accordingly.#joy #love #selflove #empath pic.twitter.com/8iAXfGuBJZ

— Anita Moorjani (@AnitaMoorjani) October 19, 2021

The world could definitely use this advice from an empath, especially in these times. Let’s remember not to give in to fear and focus on spreading love when we can.

Empathy looks good on you
Dena’s Daily Dose ❤️#empathymatters #newnormal #healyourself #releasethepast #lightofmine #iamenough #empath #energyhealer #lightworker #emotionalhealing #selfcarematters #bethelight #denverwellness pic.twitter.com/D2aySF8QqC

— Dena Gould – Emotional Healer (@Denashines) December 28, 2021

Spoken like a true empath! As we said before, don’t let your sensitivity completely shut out your reason. Hold a boundary when necessary to protect yourself.

I have a strong urge to help, show love & compassion & make others better. I love to give, I love to help, I love to cuddle, I just want to be there and cheer people up, I have lots of love to give. Problem is it leaves me exhausted & needing to be looked after! #empath

— Kirsty (@MumSleepRepeat) November 27, 2021

Being an empath means having a constant internal struggle of wanting to save the world and hide under your blankets at the same time.

That constant battle of wanting to save the world and hide from it at the same time.

via: @we_represent_love#kindness #introverts #infj #introvertproblems #empath #empaths #empathessentials #empathproblems #babyyoda pic.twitter.com/rwTJhLfWlR

— Empath Essentials (@MpathEssentials) December 22, 2021

Empaths tend to

hold themselves to an impossible standard. But remember to relax and let things flow naturally, without forcing life to happen a certain way.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you’re trying. Take care of each other. #empath #lightworkersunite #lightworker #selfhealer #healersoftwitter #medium

— Victoria R. (@Victoria_R_Wu) December 29, 2021

That’s the dilemma of the empath in a nutshell – having emotions that run so deep, you often don’t know what to do with them.

Sometimes I wonder how one can have so many different emotions at the exact same time? #holidays #thehumanbrain #empath

— Erin Yarmuch (@YarmuchErin) December 25, 2021

This is definitely food for thought. What if being an empath is normal, but our overly logical world ridicules it?

I used to think I was an #empath then I realized I just care about others feelings a normal amount and was raised by and around many people that absolutely don’t.

— ShadowsofShea (@Evolving_Mystic) December 25, 2021

Being an empath in our highly stimulating, the chaotic world may seem like a curse. However, what if you look at it differently? Perhaps you came here to help restore the balance between feelings and reason. Sure, logic and facts have their place, but it means nothing without intuition and creativity. That’s where you come in, fellow empath.

Final Thoughts on the Reality of Being an Empath

The Twitter users above know precisely how it feels to be an empath. One minute, they feel on top of the world. However, they feel ten feet under the next. That’s the typical experience and life as an empath, but the highs and lows make life enjoyable. It’s better to feel something than feel completely numb and lifeless, right?

Indeed, empaths bring unique gifts and perspectives to the world even on their “off” days. Being able to feel so deeply in an often cruel world keeps the light shining brightly on this planet. Plus, your kindness doesn’t go unnoticed by others and might turn someone’s whole life around. So never stop being you to all the beautiful empaths out there.

SUNY Psychologist Explains 5 “Pick-Me-Up Tips” for Happiness Right Now

January 30, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

We all have hard days and need a mood booster sometimes. If you ever find yourself in a funk and can’t pull yourself out of it, you might need a few pick-me-up tips for being happier. These tips can help you adjust your mindset and perk up a little.

Psychologists have studied ways to create a happy society and happy individuals. Plus, many personal development books and articles give insight into the secret of being happy. Even with all of these resources, some people still struggle to find happiness in their daily life.

Many people believe that money would make them happier, but studies indicate otherwise. Research shows that people aren’t more content with a steady income or more money. However, you can find joy in the smallest details of your day.

“Pick-Me-Up Tips” for Happiness

Life isn’t perfect, and things will always go according to plan. Still, you can choose to live a happy life and focus on the good all around you. You’re in control of your day, so try these “pick-me-up tips” to experience joy right now.

1. Eat Something Delicious and Healthy

While your comfort foods might be full of carbohydrates and salt, these components will only make you more unhappy. Even worse, you might experience guilt about your lack of impulse control afterward, too.

When you want to feel better, choose a healthy snack that is still delicious. Healthy, all-natural foods have joy-inducing effects, and you can consume them guilt-free. Some popular options include:

Grapes
Clementines
Salmon
Sweet potatoes

These popular options aren’t the only ones to choose between. Any fruits and vegetables will help, and they’re easy to eat when you’re running errands or working.

2. Get Outside

Fresh air and other aspects of nature can boost your happiness levels quickly. Our ancestors spent their time under the sky and feeling the sun often, so it’s built into our biology. No matter what you do when you get outside, you’ll quickly feel better and happier after time spent in nature.

Whether you go on an outdoor run or take a quick walk, you’ll benefit from the time spent outside. You can also consider going on a hike deep in the woods or going for a swim in a nearby lake. Whatever you choose to do, you’ll feel much better once you get outside.

Another beneficial option is to watch the sunset. Watching the sunset is one of the most beautiful sights, and many of us take it for granted.

3. Focus on Love

Love typically leads to being happy, so never miss an opportunity for love. You must find and cultivate loving relationships because nothing else can create as much joy. Whether you make time for your partner, parent, or friend, make sure it’s someone you love.

Connecting and sharing your life with people you love will always make you feel happier than being isolated. Find something to smile and laugh about with them for even more benefits to your mental health and overall mood.

The best part about making time for love is that your relationships only get better when you care for them. They’ll grow into beautiful, meaningful, and deep connections. However, they start to waste away when you don’t make time for them.

4. Create Something and Share It

Your creative spirit is part of your biology, which is why you admire it in others. Plus, even if you don’t consider yourself a creative person, you likely take joy in the process when you participate. Creativity is often a social endeavor, making it even more meaningful.

When you make something and share it with others, you’ll immediately feel better. It will improve your well-being and help you feel connected to the essential people in your life.

You don’t have to do anything extreme when creating something. Write a poem that captures how you feel about someone or how you feel today. You can also draw something for someone you love, even if it’s only a doodle.

Whether the thing you create is big or small, it’ll help you feel happy right now. Plus, the person you share it with will feel better about their day, too. It’s a simple way to promote joy within your life.

5. Communicate and Spend Time with Those You Love

One of the best pick-me-up tips for being happy is prioritizing the special people in your life. Studies show that spending time with loved ones makes you happier biologically. It helps relieve stress by reducing stress-inducing hormones, ultimately improving your overall health, too.

If you want to communicate with your loved ones more often, focus on your most meaningful relationships first. Think about things you can do together that bring joy and allow you to show caring gestures to the people you care about.

If tasks eat into your time, ask a loved one to help you with them. By asking for help, you’ll deepen your bond, and you get to spend time together even when you’re busy.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how you spend time with your loved ones. Being near them, working together, or even talking on the phone will bring joy to your life. This is a great “pick-me-up tip” because it is inexpensive and doesn’t require anything special.

Remember that the quality of your relationships is essential. Disappointing or negative interactions with loved ones lead to unhappiness and poorer health. Surround yourself with people who bring joy and positivity to your life.

Social support doesn’t only benefit you, either. The receiver will also be happier at the time spent with you. When you have good people in your life, don’t miss out on chances to spend time together.

Other “Pick-Me-Up Tips”

While the suggestions from psychologists are helpful, there are many other tips out there. If you want to do more than the five tips listed above, you can try these out next.

Expect Less in All Situations

The happiest people are content with their life, even when things don’t go perfectly. Life satisfaction leads to being happy, so make sure to focus on realistic goals.

Don’t expect an abundance or assume you’ll achieve success the first time. Instead, expect less, and you’ll be happier.

Enjoy What You Do

You spend lots of time on your career, so make sure you enjoy the work that you do. Don’t pursue a career path for the money if it doesn’t bring life satisfaction. If you like what you’ll do, you’ll always find a way to be happier.

It might be scary to make a life change like switching career fields, but it could be worth it. If you ever have the opportunity to chase your dreams, don’t ignore it.

Live in the Present

Please don’t fixate on mistakes from the past because you can’t change them. Rumination only leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. You should also avoid worrying about the future because you can’t control what will happen.

Since you don’t know what will happen next, learn to let go of those worries and focus on the present. By living in the present, you can enjoy your life and take steps to better yourself right now. Plus, when you focus on the present, you can take in the beauty of life and effectively reduce stress.

Try to remember that being happy requires appreciating what you have right now. Embrace the journey and live in the present, so you don’t miss out on any joyful moment.

Choose Happiness and Positivity

With an open mind and positive thinking, you can find joy right now. You control your mind, so choose joy instead of giving in to negativity. Even when negative thoughts creep in, push them away and try using positive affirmations instead.

Things won’t always go as planned, but you can still be happy. Choose to be joyful during changes and hardships, and you’ll never struggle to find joy in your life.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

While it’s okay to strive for more in life, you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Comparisons lead to unhappiness, and you might become too invested in other people’s lives that you lose track of what you want.

Everyone’s life is different, and their circumstances and goals differ. Stop comparing yourself to other people, and you’ll be happier right now. Comparisons will make you feel empty and unworthy, and that’s never something you should have to suffer from.

If you compare yourself to people on social media, take a step back and think about what they are posting. They aren’t posting their hardships and struggles, and they aren’t posting the things that upset them. Instead, they are posting the highlights of their life.

People filter what they share with the world, so comparing yourself to people on social media is highly detrimental. No one is as perfect as they appear online, so don’t get caught in the trap.

Final Thoughts on SUNY Psychologist Explains 5 “Pick-Me-Up Tips” for Happiness Right Now

When you can’t seem to pull yourself out of a funk, remember these “pick-me-up tips” for being happy right now. You can make a change at any point in your day, so don’t let unhappiness linger.

Listen to the research and find ways to make yourself happy. You are the only one that can control how you feel, so do what’s best for you and find joy in life.

Study Reveals How Short Women With Tall Men Make Happy Couples

January 30, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

An interesting study by researchers from South Korea found that short women pair best with tall men. Of course, height isn’t everything – it takes a lot more than physical attraction to ensure a couple’s success. The happiest couples have open communication, patience, understanding, and, most of all, trust. However, those elements unfold over time as the couple gets to know one another.

It’s true that when people first meet, they make tons of snap judgments about each other’s appearance. Physical attraction plays a huge part in the beginning stages of a relationship. After all, a man and woman won’t consider taking it further if they don’t feel that spark.

With that said, the research team discovered that short women feel happiest when paired with tall men. The greater the size difference, the better. Evolutionary factors probably play a significant part in a woman’s decision to choose a taller mate.

We’ll look deeper into the study below and find out why height matters so much in relationships.

Study Reveals That Short Women With Tall Men Make the Happiest Couples of All

Lead researcher Kitae Sohn and colleagues conducted the study from Konkuk University. They admit that it’s no surprise that short women go for taller men. However, no studies have investigated whether this height difference contributes to a woman’s happiness before this one.

For the study, researchers data from 7850 participants in the Indonesian population. After pouring over the data, the team concluded that women felt happiest with taller men. The more significant the height difference, the more satisfied the woman felt in the relationship. However, this honeymoon phase eventually faded as time went on.

Researchers found that after 18 years of marriage, a man’s height did not affect the woman’s happiness. The husband’s resourcefulness played a minor role in the success of the relationship.

So, the research team concluded that the husband’s height initially influenced the woman’s happiness. Over time, however, this source of joy dissipated as other factors came into play in the relationship.

The researchers said this: “Nevertheless, the long period of the dissipation indicates a powerful impact of male height on women’s psychology, probably prepared by evolution.”

Science Direct published the study.

Short Women Have Preferred Taller Men Throughout History

Even in modern times, evolution still plays a massive role in choosing partners. Short women prefer tall men because they associate height with security and health. A man of large stature will appear more dominant, making him an attractive mate for a woman. Since women prioritize keeping their families safe from predators, they naturally want to choose the most vital male.

In modern times, this still holds, though not for the same reasons. We’re not running from bears or tigers anymore, but we still crave security and safety. Arguably, many more threats exist in our constructed environment; however, they don’t pose an immediate danger like wild animals.

Short women may choose taller men because they believe height correlates with success in today’s world. A study published on SSRN, formerly the Social Science Research Network, confirmed this theory. Researchers discovered that recruiters find taller men more trustworthy and reliable. As men of a larger stature have a self-assured aura about them, it may help ensure their success.

Since women tend to find financially secure men more attractive, the findings make sense in the modern world. Even though money isn’t everything, it does provide a sense of stability. Therefore, women looking to settle down will always consider a man’s finances before making any decisions.

What Other Studies Found

Other studies confirm short women choose tall men most of the time

Researchers in the Netherlands utilized survey data from 12,502 couples from the U.K. in 2000. The peer-reviewed study published in 2013 discovered that men were taller in 92.5% of couples. The average height difference measured 14.1 centimeters or 5.6 inches.

However, in 3.4% of couples, the men and women were the same height. In 4.1% of the couples surveyed, the woman stood taller than the man.

A 2009 survey in the United States revealed similar findings. The Panel Study of Income Dynamics by the University of Michigan surveyed over 5,000 families. The survey found that 92.2% of men stood taller than their partners.

Of course, having a height difference in a relationship doesn’t guarantee the couple will stay together. Interestingly, a study published in the National Bureau of Economic Research in August 2014 discovered that shorter men get fewer divorces than tall men. There’s probably an evolutionary reason for that, though the study didn’t specify.

Overall, taking these findings with a grain of salt is essential. Obviously, you should value your partner for much more than just their height or other physical attributes. The first study found that height won’t matter much after a couple of decades of marriage. Any happiness you derive from finding a tall mate will wane as you settle into the relationship.

Therefore, to any woman looking for love try to focus mainly on chemistry and compatibility. Choose a partner you can picture yourself happily growing old with (and that has nothing to do with height!)

Final Thoughts on a Study Explaining Why Short Women Prefer Tall Men

From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s unsurprising that short women go for tall men. As we said before, taller men have the advantage of protecting their families and providing security. Of course, women will value these attributes in a survival situation. In the modern world, tallness translates to more excellent financial stability and dominance, both important to most women.

However, no one should choose a mate based solely on their height. Physical characteristics will fade over time, but personality and compatibility will endure. Keep this in mind when you’re going on dates, as you may overlook someone special by focusing on external factors. Strength doesn’t necessarily correlate with height, so don’t turn shorter men away before giving them a fair chance.

Science Reveals Why Finding Happiness is So Hard for Some People

January 30, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

The world of psychology today is booming with self-help tips and tricks. People have been trying as hard as they can to learn how to find happiness and bring more joy into their lives. As the realm of positive psychology becomes better studied, you would think that everyone would be getting happier. And yet, that isn’t the case.

Rates of depression, anxiety, and other disorders have been soaring across the globe. Some of these statistics can be attributed to better diagnosis practices. But while we know about the secrets to being happy, why do we struggle to find happiness? Sometimes it feels like the more we know about it, the less easy it is to find it!

Worse still, it often seems like some people struggle to find happiness more than others. If you feel that you relate to that, you may have put a lot of effort into seeking that joy, only to fail time and time again. You may have watched the people around you get happier and happier and feel left out as all your efforts bore no fruit.

Did you know that there could be a reason for your struggles? The difficulties you face can be explained by science, with surprising and enlightening results! Here’s how science reveals why finding happiness is so hard for some people.

1. The Happiness Pie

The “Happiness Pie” concept was first introduced in 2005 in a study titled “Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change.” The paper was published in the Review of General Psychology journal and was subject to heavy scrutiny. It explained that their actions do not determine all people’s happiness. Supposedly:

50% of happiness is determined by genetics
40% of happiness is reliant on intentional activity and your behavior
10% of happiness is based on your current circumstances

This concept to some degree propelled the field of positive psychology forward. It explained how you have power over 40%, if not 50%, of your happiness. To some degree, this sounds very positive! Finding happiness could be at your fingertips if you knew how to do it!

Unfortunately, the paper did leave out a few critical elements. To begin with, it essentially tells you that if you’re unhappy, it’s likely your fault to some degree. While you are responsible for some of your happiness, blaming people for how they feel isn’t go over well!

Then, there’s the fact that the concept of genetics playing such a huge role in happiness was also discredited. The idea was based on longstanding research on twins that indicated a variance in satisfaction between identical siblings. But it is assumed that twins have the same nurture growing up, which isn’t always the case.

2. Nature And Nurture In Happiness

Is there any reason why finding happiness is so hard for some people? Do nature and nurture perform roles that are this clear-cut? Let’s take a closer look.

Many people see nature and nurture as two wholly separate and independent things. But that’s not true! In reality, these things are deeply intertwined. They influence each other in the following ways:

Genes influence action. Genetic factors can determine how you choose behavior and develop a preferred environment. For example, introversion can be hereditary, changing how children make friends.
Environmental factors can change the way that genes are expressed. Pregnant parents-to-be exposed to different environments will have babies influenced by those environments. Research has shown, for example, that babies born during famine are smaller.
Environmental sensitivity is an overlooked factor, say studies. People exposed to the same environment can have completely different sensitivities to it. Some are incredibly susceptible and more likely to be influenced by their situations. Others are much less so.

This means that no intervention in positive psychology can work equally for everyone. Some will struggle more than others, and finding happiness presents unique challenges for each person. No amount of nature or nurture can truly predict each twist and turn. This means that individuals must take our joy into their own hands – even if that’s harder for some of us than others.

3. Overcoming Nurture May Help in Finding Happiness

You can’t change your genetics. Once again, that leaves the remainder of the quest for happiness entirely in your hands. This means that you have to overcome some aspects of your nurture to move beyond your nature.

For some people, finding happiness is hard because they’ve been struggling to overcome nurture and change their actions and behavior. To be fair to those who face difficulties in this area, this is a huge endeavor. It involves a lot of self-searching and a deeper understanding of nature and nurture.

To find happiness beyond nature by overcoming nurture, one must:

· Release The Past In The Name Of Finding Happiness

The past, especially childhood and formative years, heavily shapes your behavior. This is the very core of the nurture that you must overcome. There are things from your past that you hold onto, and they prevent you from moving forward. Only by releasing and processing those things will you develop better behaviors.

· Finding Happiness Comes When You Let Go Of Fear

Nurture determines a lot of things that you’re afraid of. The things that harmed you in the past have shaped your thoughts, impulses, and actions today. Finding happiness requires releasing that fear like it requires releasing the past. If these things hold you back, you’re afraid you can’t pursue happiness and take worthwhile risks.

· Ceasing Self-Criticism

The ability to self-evaluate well is essential for personal development. But for many people, self-evaluation is not a simple, rational analysis: it’s a harsh inner critic disparaging every move with unnecessary, unconstructive criticism. Learning to move away from self-criticism and towards self-compassion, encouragement, and reflection is crucial.

· Developing Gratitude Goes Along With Finding Happiness

A lot of people neglect gratitude in their everyday lives. The trait is fundamental, but if you had a difficult upbringing or faced many hardships in your life, such optimism may have been depleted. Regularly appreciating everything around you, even in less-than-ideal circumstances, allows you to find happiness in your everyday life.

4. A Focus on Finding Happiness Makes It Harder To Achieve

One of the chief reasons that finding happiness can be so difficult for some is that they want it too severely. In a cruel twist of irony, the more you attempt to seek that joy in life, the more likely you will be unable to find it.

People can identify individual elements of happiness to try and pursue in hopes of feeling joy. But, just like happiness itself, those elements can’t be chased too closely, or they’ll elude you, too. These elements include:

· Self-Esteem And Finding Happiness Go Hand-in-hand

Many people believe that high self-esteem is necessary for finding happiness. To some degree, this is true. It would help if you held yourself positively to like yourself, after all. But problems begin to arise when you chase self-esteem. To do this, you have to make yourself feel “above average repeatedly.” This causes you to repeatedly see the act of being average as something inherently negative. You’ll become a harsher critic towards yourself, and your self-esteem will ironically drop. In reality, what you have to do for good self-esteem is to accept yourself, even when you’re below average. Self-compassion is the key to self-esteem, not chasing that esteem down.

· Inspiration

It’s great to gain inspiration and motivation from the people around you, but they can’t be the only source of your driving momentum. Upwards social comparison can undoubtedly be beneficial, but it needs a touch of realism. Finding happiness by becoming like other people is unlikely to pay off. You don’t know what others go through and their preferences, nor do you know what works for them and what happens behind closed doors. Trying to replicate the happiness of others is to do yourself a disservice.

· A Better Future

You’re likely fully aware that you’ll want to keep working towards a brighter future to achieve happiness. Chasing down your dreams is a good thing. But focusing only on the end can lead you to idealize it, setting unrealistic expectations. You stop living in the present and start thinking everything will “be better” in the future. You get lost in your head about these potential futures and stop remembering that you must work towards them. This means those futures will never come – and if they do, they won’t live up to your overhyped expectations.

There’s a great quote by Henry David Thoreau about this phenomenon. “Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”

So, instead of focusing so much on finding happiness, work on yourself, your goals, and living in the present. This is much more likely to help you achieve that joy in life than if you were to fixate on it overly.

Final Thoughts On Some Reasons Why Finding Happiness Is Difficult For Some People

Everyone deserves a shot at happiness, and it’s certainly unfortunate that this journey comes rougher for some individuals. Genetics plays a decently sized role in one’s ability to find happiness. Then, on top of that, childhood experiences and environments can change one’s capacity to seek these results.

But finding happiness isn’t solely restricted by biology, and it doesn’t have to be dictated by your past. How you behave and act can dramatically alter your trajectory moving forward. This puts the power back in your hands. You can find it even if you have a little more trouble than the average person in seeking happiness. And isn’t that just a beautiful thing to think about?

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Empaths can read you down to your body language. You can’t hide anything from them even if you try.

Some days, being an empath feels

Empaths don’t act fake. Period.

Always remember the importance of breathing. In stressful situations, it’s easy to tense up and become overwhelmed with what’s going on. But, that’s when self-care and staying grounded matter the most.

Don’t hide your mess because it’s what makes you beautiful. Own yourself, down to the deepest part of you. It’s ok to be messy.

If you’re an empath, you will easily relate to these aspects of the highly sensitive person

it’s not your job to fix everyone. Heal yourself first, and that vibration will naturally radiate to everyone you encounter.

Being an empath means spreading your love to others but also valuing your alone time. All that energy can drain empaths, even the extroverted ones among us!

Everyone knows the INFJ personality type is the expert unofficial psychologist! When you want a second opinion on someone, just call on their empath skills.

soul will shine right through them. Their eyes give them away every time.

Just because they love to heal people doesn’t mean they don’t need healing too. Being an empath isn’t easy, so show some extra love to your empath friends. They’re not always okay, even if they seem like it on the outside.

Being an empath means following your heart and listening to your gut no matter what. Others may try to guide you, but an intuitive being like you knows best.

The world could definitely use this advice from an empath, especially in these times. Let’s remember not to give in to fear and focus on spreading love when we can.

Spoken like a true empath! As we said before, don’t let your sensitivity completely shut out your reason. Hold a boundary when necessary to protect yourself.

Being an empath means having a constant internal struggle of wanting to save the world and hide under your blankets at the same time.

Empaths tend to

That’s the dilemma of the empath in a nutshell – having emotions that run so deep, you often don’t know what to do with them.

This is definitely food for thought. What if being an empath is normal, but our overly logical world ridicules it?

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!