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How Parents Can Help Calm Teenagers After A Teenage Romance Ends

April 8, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Breaking up is so hard to do, regardless of your age. When your teen feels the pangs of a love gone wrong, it can devastate them. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a summer fling or their first teenage romance, as it can be an emotionally wrenching experience to get over the pain of a breakup.

The sea of heartache has taken many victims, and you must go there several times before you find the right one. As a parent, it’s your job to keep your child together while their world is falling apart. You can turn this into a learning experience to develop coping skills, but you need to avoid things that will only worsen the situation.

Ten Ways to Help Your Child When a Teenage Romance Ends

Parents want to step in and help their children when they’re hurting, but you must use tact to avoid making a bigger mess. The key here is to use patience. Your child will learn that time heals everything, but it will make them pretty miserable.

Here are some things you can do to help them through this breakup.

1. Don’t Try to Talk Them Out of Ending the Teenage Romance

It doesn’t matter who called it quits, as it will still hurt. It’s often the case that the person who dares to end things is the one who will struggle the most. It would be best to stand behind your kid and not try to talk them out of their decision.

Remember that it’s least said, best said. You don’t want to offer any advice that could come back and bite you.

Let them make their own choices without interjecting your feelings. The only exception to the rule is when they ask for your opinion.

2. Don’t Encourage Them to Escape Their Emotions

Don’t try to say things like “you can do so much better than that person” or “I never liked them anyway.” When you say these things, you’re not being helpful. Another thing you never want to say is, “I told you so.”

It would help if you stayed in the middle of the road, as teens often get back together. If you criticize their love and add insult to injury, you might feel awkward if they reconcile. Teens don’t have hindsight as you do, so they don’t know their lives will go on. Remember that they are learning to manage the pain of losing a partner for the first time.

They must go through the grieving process to sort out what’s happened. The last thing they need is emotional baggage starting at a young age. According to Dr. Suzanne Lachmann, there are seven steps to get through a breakup. They are as follows:

Seeking answers
Denial
Bargaining
Replace
Anger
Acceptance
Hope

You can watch as your child goes through each stage and encourage them to get to the point of hope.

3. Encourage a Technology Time Out After the Breakup of a Teenage Romance

Parenting in the digital age is not for the faint of heart. It’s natural these days for teens to post their relationship status online and the dirty laundry from the breakup. However, encourage them that this might be a good time to stay off social media.

When they post these relationship updates, it can cause backlash and even shaming. They should never bad-mouth their ex or discuss personal things they confided in them. While most kids lack maturity, it’s an excellent time to learn how to handle a breakup appropriately.

4. Keep Life as Normal as Possible

They’ll need a few days off to grieve and try to keep their sense, but life must go on. Don’t make them breakfast in bed and go above and beyond to do things to baby them. You want them to learn that heartbreak doesn’t mean the world stops turning, and they must keep going.

Breaking up a teenage romance is hard, so spending extra time with someone hurting is warranted. However, don’t let them lay in bed, skip school or work, and isolate themselves.

5. Don’t Minimize Your Child’s Emotions

It would help if you stepped into your child’s shoes for a minute to understand them. Don’t try to minimize their pain as you don’t know how they feel. Instead, it would be best if you validated them by saying things like:

“I know you’re hurting, but you will get better.”
“It’s so sad when someone you love is gone.”
“You will get through this, as I have faith in you.”

Avoid saying snide comments or things that minimize their grief, such as:

“I didn’t think that person was good enough for you anyway.”
“Most high school romances never work out.”
“You deserve so much better.”
“You’re making a bigger deal of this than it is.”

You can’t rationalize your child’s pain away, and sometimes it’s better to say nothing and listen more when it comes to teenage romance.

6. Prepare Them for The Emotional Roller Coaster

Teenage love can cause all sorts of emotions when they part ways. Your kid will cry, get angry, refuse to speak, and may try to self-medicate away the pain. However, it would help prepare yourself and your teen for this emotional roller coaster.

One day, they will think that everything is fine and they’re over it, and the next day the grief will hit them like a ton of bricks. This is all a normal part of processing a loss, and it will take some time before their emotions heal.

7. Listen to Them as They Heal From the Loss, Especially if This Was the First Teenage Romance

The mother or father bear inside you will be tempted to fill their ear full of all the things you feel, but you must step back and remember that this isn’t about you. You may have been close to this person and accepted them into the family, but it’s about your child. Teenage romance and breakups are hard enough without you getting in the middle of it.

What your child needs more than anything is for you to listen to them. Listening more than speaking is always better than letting them vent to you as a trusted mentor.

Parents often get caught up in the drama and want to write the wrong done to their kids, but it’s best to listen and be there. Let them figure the rest out on their own.

8. Know When to Get a Professional Involved

First, love can do a number on your heart, and teenage romance should be something your child can work through without issue. Still, you may find that your child is not bouncing back as they should. In these instances, you must use wisdom and know when to get professional help.

People going through a breakup will use the threat of “If you leave me, I will kill myself.” However, if your child is the jilted party, you must know whether this is a threat or a possibility.

Using such statements, whether as a threat or intent, shows unhealthy attachments and poor coping skills. This child needs professional intervention. Do not hesitate call #988 for suicide prevention resources.

9. Keep Your Feelings Out of This

Why is it so hard for parents to recall that this isn’t their breakup? You get all involved in the situation because you want to protect your kid. What if a young person who jilted your daughter was jilted was always hanging out at your home? You might also feel some attachment.

It’s only natural for you to have some feelings toward this guy. However, it would help if you remembered that teenage romance is a rocky road, and you don’t want to put your feelings on your kid to make anything worse. Throughout all this, your goal is to help your teenager boost their confidence so they can come out on the other side stronger.

10. Distract Them from the Loss of This Teenage Romance

Remember when your kid was little, and you had to distract and divert their attention from something terrible to something good? Well, you would think that you outgrow these parenting hacks, but alas, you must continue to do this throughout their life. A little distraction can get your kid’s mind off their first love and onto something else.

Take them out for dinner and a movie, or why not hit the mall for some shopping? The goal is to get them involved in an activity that will prevent wallowing and show them that life goes on.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Help Your Child Deal With the End of a Teenage Romance

Teenage romance can be wonderful and thrilling, but it can hurt as severely as a gaping wound. When your child is going through a breakup, know it will take time to work through the pain. They need your help, love, patience, and empathy to get through this season of their life, but they will get over this emotional upheaval.

While the parent inside you wants to rescue them from this pain, they must learn to handle a part of life. It probably won’t be their last heartbreak, and teenage romance is fickle at best. Remember to listen more than you speak, don’t put your opinions in the mix, and give them the space to heal from this ordeal.

They won’t forget their first love, but soon they will be on to their next person of interest.

12 Regrets You Release When Writing in a Journal

April 7, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Remember the old saying about hindsight being 20/20? You can think of countless things you wished you’d said or done after the fact. How can writing in a journal be a tool to help you let go of these regrets?

Nobody goes through life completely satisfied with all their actions and decisions. Even the most upstanding folks feel a tinge of guilt as they reflect. It’s a human condition that’s a combination of anger, fear, guilt, and grief.

Regrets can fall under two categories: commission or omission. The first type is the words, actions, and decisions you regret committing. Secondly are those regrets for things you didn’t do or omitted.

Either way, you kick yourself mentally, emotionally, and psychologically for these regrets. You’re so busy ruminating on the past that you’re not living in the present. Therefore, you accumulate more regrets and guilt in an endless whirlpool of negativity.

Writing in a Journal Helps You Release These Twelve Regrets

Regretful statements often start with “if only” and “what if.” Not only are these words unhelpful, but they create a toxic mindset. You waste precious time by trying to recapture events from yesterday.

Although the author is unknown, the person who penned the Serenity Prayer was a spiritual genius. You’ll discover more clarity when you can tell the difference between things you can change and those you can’t alter. While exploring ways to apply this wisdom in daily life, I came across onlinecasinozondercruks.bet, which reminded me of the importance of making mindful choices, especially in environments that promise quick rewards. Keeping your thoughts in a journal can start the process of recognizing and embracing this distinction.

Are you tired of allowing the past to dictate your present and future? You may not have the ability to change the past, but you can do something today. These are twelve common regrets and how writing in a journal may help you get past them.

1. Not Spending Enough Time with Loved Ones

You can’t blame yourself because you must work for a living. It’s the only way you can provide for your family. Also, you have other responsibilities that take your time. However, you may have deep regrets for not spending enough time with family and friends.

Writing in a journal can help you validate working and other responsibilities. Perhaps you’re harder on yourself than you realize. If you didn’t spend enough quality time with loved ones, you can apologize and learn to make more time in the future.

2. Let Go of Regrets Over Not Being More Honest with Yourself by Writing in a Journal

People can often have negative self-talk for so long that they believe it as fact. You can accrue years of remorse and regret when you’re not honest with yourself. You’ll always feel like something is missing in your life.

You are as unique as your fingerprints, and those don’t change. Writing in a journal can help you realize who you are and how you can be yourself. If you’ve done something wrong, own your mistakes and work to make amends.

3. Not Living Your Own Life

What did you want to be when you grew up? Little kids will often dream of becoming astronauts, zookeepers, or superheroes. Possibly you wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, artist, or rock star. Even when you were in college, you may have changed your major several times.

Perhaps you gave in to pressures from your parents to go into a profession they wanted for you. In fact, your goals may have been vastly different, and now your life doesn’t feel fulfilled. You may have forgotten about your past aspirations until writing in a journal.

If you’re unhappy with your current situation, it’s never too late to change. What could you do to get closer to your ideal career?

4. Taking Yourself too Seriously Can Harm Your Mental Health, Release it by Writing in a Journal

According to an article published by PsychCentral, you can take yourself too seriously when you focus on negativity. You begin defining yourself by the unfortunate things that happened in your past. Consequently, you use these as a jaded lens for viewing your present and future.

When writing in a journal, you may get a different perspective. Seeing your blessings outweighs your troubles, and it can make you rethink your life. You can learn to let go of the past and not take every little thing so seriously.

5. Taking Too Few Risks

Much can be said about staying on the safe side. Maybe your family taught you that you’re better safe than sorry, so you try to avoid risks. Unfortunately, you may have past regrets for not stepping out of your comfort zone.

Since you don’t want to have any more of these regrets, you may develop a fear of it. A study published by the World Journal of Clinical Classes discusses this fear of missing out. Although the term initially concerned social media, it can affect other areas of your life.

When writing in a journal, do you mention your regrets and not taking enough risks? Life itself is a risk, and you never know an outcome until you try. Journaling can help you pinpoint some of your fears and how you can risk more for success.

6. Not Speaking Up for Yourself

How many times has someone hurt or taken you for granted? Unfortunately, people can be heartless at times. Maybe you’ve replayed the events hundreds of times in your mind with things you wished you’d said or done. These regrets can be exceedingly hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem.

While you’re writing in your journal, consider making a list of hurts that are still on your mind. Then, make another list of how and why you won’t let others trample on you anymore. Emphasize that you are beautiful, intelligent, and worthy of respect and love.

7. Staying in a Toxic Relationship

Even the most assertive individuals can get trapped in a toxic relationship. Such relationships make you feel hurt, vulnerable, and afraid. Surviving abuse often leaves you skeptical of people and unsure of any new relationship.

First, realize that you deserved better, and the abuse wasn’t your fault. What are some qualities that you want in a loving, healthy relationship? Jot these down in your journal and believe that you will find just what you want.

8. Worrying too Much

Worrying is one of the strangest pastimes of the human experience. You can fret and imagine the worst-case scenario, yet it does nothing to change anything. All worrying increases your anxiety and prevents you from doing something about the problem.

Consider keeping a section in your journal about your worries. Write each one down and why they are so crucial. Allow yourself about 20 minutes to worry about them, and then let them go.

Try to do this every day to free your mind from excessive anxiety. You’ll also have more time to gain a new perspective on these issues. Soon, you’ll realize what a waste of time worrying is.

9. Worked a Little Less and Have More Fun

In the twilight of their lives, nobody ever wishes they had spent more time at work. Instead, most regret not being a little carefree and enjoying their life. It’s essential to realize that although your job is part of your life, it’s not who you are.

Don’t wait until after you’ve devoted your best years and abilities. Do some brainstorming in your journal and list some fun things you want to do. Spend time each day doing things that make you relax, smile, and revive your spirit.

10. Writing in a Journal Helps Release Regret You Didn’t Learn More Skills

Do you have regrets about not learning more skills and finding new talents? Instead of contemplating, it’s never too late to realize your dreams. Grandma Moses didn’t start painting her masterpieces until she was 77 years old, according to American Art.

What new skills and talents have you listed in your journal that you want to explore? Sure, you may not be another Leonardo DaVinci or Mozart, but you can learn to paint or play the piano. Whether learning a foreign language or spinning wool, don’t let regrets stop you from your aspirations.

11. Traveling Less Often

According to an article published by Forbes Magazine, at least 11 percent of Americans haven’t traveled outside of their birth state. Approximately 13 percent have never flown in an airplane, and 40 percent have never traveled abroad. However, at least 60 percent of Americans list places they want to see.

Consider making a list of your dream destinations. It can be to another state, or you can go on a cruise or visit a foreign country. Go beyond regrets and start saving for the trip of a lifetime.

12. Not Caring About What Others Think

It’s futile to make everyone approve of your opinions and decisions. You’ll end up running in circles and creating regrets. At the end of the day, you’re the only person who’s responsible for your happiness.

Journaling about your strengths and aspirations gives you a better understanding of where you’ve been and where you’re going. Those who love you will be supportive, even if they disagree with your choices. The opinions of your critics don’t matter, and you don’t live to please them.

Final Thoughts on How Writing in a Journal Can Release Regrets

Everybody has past regrets that they can’t change. You have the power today to make decisions that you won’t regret in the future. Consider using a journal for inspiration and tracking your progress.

10 Behaviors That Reveal the Differences Between Self-Righteousness and a Narcissist

April 7, 2022 by Chris Butler

Whether you’re in a circle of family, friends, or coworkers doesn’t matter, as you’ll always have at least one self-absorbed person. Their conversation and tone seek to convey a “holier than thou” attitude. How can you tell the difference between self-righteousness and a narcissistic personality?

Do you remember the iconic medical drama House M.D.? Dr. Gregory House was a medical genius, but he lacked people skills and came across as self-righteous and arrogant. He thought he was above the hospital’s rules and would often take dangerous risks to solve cases.

While he’s a fictional character, it’s a classic example of an arrogant person and how they operate. You’re probably thinking about the many people like this that you’ve encountered in your life. Since they’re just a bit better than everyone else, they feel morally obligated to enlighten those around them.

What is Self-Righteousness?

Most people associate righteousness with religion. However, people needn’t be religious to be virtuous and just. It’s possible to have arrogant smugness and no religious inclinations at all.

From a theological perspective, self-righteous people feel morally superior to their peers. Secularly, people are arrogant and love to boast about their greatness.

Scriptural references in many religious traditions condemn the attitude of trying to act holier than others. Quran 53:32 admonishes followers to be humble and aware of their shortcomings. In the Old Testament, Isaiah compares self-righteousness to “filthy rags.”

It’s admirable for people to strive to do right, and it’s not for show. Pride is identified as one of the seven deadly sins. If somebody used their moral high ground to belittle you, they have a profound spiritual issue.

Self-Righteousness vs. Narcissism

People with either of these traits can be tricky in a personal or professional relationship. Their arrogance and haughty mannerisms create a hostile atmosphere that quickly turns toxic. Both characteristics involve a delusion of superiority and entitlement.

While the characteristics of these traits often overlap, they aren’t the same. It’s possible to be self-righteous and not wholly self-absorbed. Self-righteousness is more concerned with moral superiority than overall preeminence. Narcissism is a personality disorder that makes people believe they are better in every human aspect.

Unfortunately, morality snobs can easily fall into the depths of narcissism. Knowing the difference between the two may help you see if someone’s already on that path. Here are the common traits of haughty people you may notice.

Ten Signs of Self-Righteousness

Do you know somebody who displays these traits?

1. They Aren’t Compassionate

Everybody makes mistakes and has shortcomings. It’s the human condition, and these morally arrogant people don’t understand it. Since they view themselves as perfect, they often look down on others, especially when making mistakes.

Often, the things they judge in others are their own downfalls. By pointing out other people’s flaws, they try to hide their own. Such a judgmental attitude doesn’t make room for mercy and compassion.

2. You Try to Avoid Them

Who enjoys being around someone constantly criticizing others while parading their puffed-up holiness? These folks create a hostile atmosphere in a group. They are the loudest protesters because they often have things to hide.

Let’s say that someone in your family has a moral issue with television. They say it’s a cesspool of sin and degradation. Not only will they not have one in their home, but they harshly judge others who do.

They come to a gathering at your place and dominate the conversation on how strong their “convictions” are. Then, you notice that they’ve become silent because they’re glued to your tv. Listening to their negativity and watching their incongruent behaviors make you want to avoid them as much as possible.

3. They’re Attention Seekers

People puffed up with self-righteousness don’t always need the limelight as a narcissist would. They are more interested in drawing attention to their holy deeds rather than themselves. The little favor they do is worthy of a parade in their eyes.

They may be involved in many charitable works, but it’s not always for the right reason. They want you to know their sacrifices and how blessed others are because of them. These attention seekers won’t give a cent unless they brag about it for validation.

4. They’re Judge and Jury

Morally superior people often lack empathy and are quick to judge others. They are a virtual tabloid and get a thrill from delivering juicy gossip. Yet, they forget that gossiping is seriously unrighteous behavior.

They are quick to point fingers and condemn others for the slightest infractions. Their narrowmindedness prevents them from accepting other opinions, beliefs, and spiritual practices.

5. They’re Not Genuine

People with a deluded sense of righteousness don’t see you as equals. They feel a tad holier even if you share similar beliefs and backgrounds. These moral egotists often use condescending tones and fake kindness.

The whole time they talk to you, they’re sizing you up in their mind. They’re not usually active listeners because what they have to say is of utmost importance.

6. They Refuse to Accept Blame

One of the hallmarks of a virtuous person is that they own their mistakes and shortcomings. If they are wrong or have offended you, they’ll be the first to apologize and make amends. They also make a concerted effort not to repeat the offense.

On the other hand, those steeped in their righteousness see themselves as perfect and won’t accept blame. According to an article published by PsychCentral, blame-shifting is a tool they use when their fallibility is exposed and they feel vulnerable. The report says they often use it as a verbal and psychological abuse tactic.

If you ever want to see the true nature of these self-described holy people, confront them when they’re at fault. Not only will they usually refuse to listen, but they’ll twist the conversation on you. If they are possibly at fault, you’re the one to blame.

7. They Hold Grudges

Although the pompously righteous folks know that holding grudges is self-defeating and a moral issue, they feel it’s justified. If someone has offended them, they may see that person as inferior and unworthy of forgiveness. They may see it as their religious obligation to shun or make an example of the offender.

8. They’re a Moral Cherry Picker

When people try to act morally superior in any religious or secular tradition, they use rules and commandments conveniently. They are experts at taking sacred texts out of context to justify themselves or condemn others. While they’ll get on a soapbox over some issues, they’ll ignore those directives that contradict their words and actions.

For instance, they may quickly lower the gavel on a person who plays the lottery. They’ll raise their noses in holy protest and condemn what they say are the evils of gambling. Yet, they are strangely quiet about cheating on their taxes.

9. Letter of the Law vs. Spirit of the Law

Morality snobs are well-versed in the commandments in their chosen religious tradition. They can quote sacred writings and how to follow them to the letter. In a secular sense, they can be the person who is a stickler for the rules and protocols.

While they may know the rules and regulations by heart, they don’t comprehend why it’s so important. They are so wrapped up in legalism that they forget that religious traditions were meant to foster love, harmony, and compassion. Instead, they use these traditions as weapons to hurt others and elevate themselves.

10. They Become Isolated

Since people with an inflated sense of holiness are so judgmental, they often distance themselves from others. Consequently, they have difficulties in personal and professional relationships. Their toxic attitude makes being around them difficult, so they’re usually lonely and depressed.

Descent from Self-Righteousness into Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People who believe themselves to be righteously superior stand behind their exaggerated holiness. They aren’t as concerned with being the smartest or most attractive as a narcissist would be. However, it can quickly develop into a type of narcissistic personality called a self-righteous narcissist.

These people go beyond the amped holiness to almost make themselves a deity. It’s a personality disorder often associated with leaders of cults. They’ve believed in their moral superiority for so long that they begin to have delusions of grandeur.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing Self-Righteousness

The Apostle Paul said in I Corinthians that if he had all knowledge and was devoted to good works, it was nothing without love. People caught up in their own righteousness don’t have room in their hearts for love, understanding, and grace. They also risk developing narcissism and estranging themselves from everyone in their lives as they continually seek validation.

10 Behaviors That Can Fix a Lack of Empathy

April 7, 2022 by Chris Butler

The world currently faces a human crisis–an empathy shortage.

When it comes to desirable traits among human beings, empathy takes a high ranking. The reason this emotion is so important is that it’s at the center of relationships as well as personal growth. This driving force gives you the ability to control, recognize, and use your emotions.

It plays a significant role in your emotional intelligence, and it allows you to resonate with other folks on how they think and feel. It’s a standard practice hardwired into many people, yet some lack it altogether. While people show many different emotions on the outside, most folks are all the same inside.

Everyone has insecurities and past regrets that drive them to be better people. Yet, there’s no person alive who couldn’t use more empathy. The more you have, the better your ability to make decisions, cultivate relationships, and resolve conflicts.

Think of empathy as a recycled piece of plastic. Once it’s put to the fire, it can be molded and shaped into anything it needs to be. This means that you can train and develop this skill, as your brain will physically alter itself to accommodate your new empathetic nature.

Ten Ways to Fix an Empathy Shortage

How are you in the empathetic department? It may benefit you to go through empathy training, where you learn to enhance your abilities. It can help you and those around you to hone this ability to share and recognize feelings. Here are some ways that you can increase this desirable nature.

1. Walk in Other’s Shoes

It’s so easy to pass judgment on others without fully understanding how they feel. For instance, Jan has lived with a debilitating health condition called lupus, which makes her tired and exhausted most days. When other coworkers ask her to go out for drinks after work, she must get home to recharge her batteries.

The people in the office think that Jan is just ignoring them and doesn’t like them, but they don’t understand her level of exhaustion. It’s a miracle that Jan can work at all. If they could only step into her shoes for just a minute, it would change their perspective.

Rather than being so hostile towards her and thinking she didn’t want to be with them, they should understand her medical condition. Most people judge things they cannot understand. So, the first way you can be more empathetic towards someone is to step in their shoes for just a minute, as it brings a whole new perspective to the situation.

2. Get Out and See The World Through Different Lenses

Everyone has a world around them that’s become their normal. For instance, the people in your city, job, and inner circle are your comfort zone. While you’re thankful for these folks and experiences, it’s doing nothing to broaden your horizons.

Joe became a local hospice organization volunteer to add more charitable acts to his life. It wasn’t until he received a patient of 28 years old with cancer that he realized how fragile life could be. This job changes his perspectives and teaches him a whole other level of kindness, as he learns how blessed he was and how these people that were suffering were victims of time and chance.

Sometimes stepping outside your realm of routine can be eye-opening, and you can discover a whole new reality that changes how you think and feel.

3. Examine How Your Bias Contributes to an Empathy Shortage

Everyone has preconceptions that come from their childhood and family. It’s a hidden bias that inhibits you from empathizing with folks. For instance, Jamie grew up in a small town called Jackson.

However, he heard his whole life that the folks from the neighboring town of Wellston were “rough,” and he should never go there or associate with them. Wellston was a poorer community, and folks often prejudged it. He looked down on people he had never met in his whole life only because they weren’t from a more affluent area, but it was what his elders told him.

Though he had never been there, he let his parents’ prejudice dictate how he saw others. When he met a girl in high school from this area that he liked, he learned that the discriminations he acquired were false. Opening your eyes and not allowing these hidden biases to interfere can enhance your abilities to listen and empathize with others.

4. Push Beyond Your Defined Borders

Everyone has a comfort zone that’s become their safe space. Maybe you take a sure way to work because it has less traffic. If someone were to ask you to take the freeway instead of the backroads, it would send your nerves into a tailspin.

However, to increase your kindness towards others and renew your optimism, why not try something new and out of the normal for you? What if you learned a foreign language, volunteered at the local hospital, or learned how to play a musical instrument? All these things will allow you to engage with people and push yourself beyond the level of comfort you’ve become accustomed to.

When you push beyond your borders, you’re opening yourself to new and exciting experiences.

5. Use Your Heart, Not Just Your Head

There are many times when you need to use your head rather than your heart. Consequently, when it comes to empathy, it’s just the opposite. If you’re buying a new home and trying to figure out how much you want to spend, it’s best to use your head.

However, when dealing with people and their problems, it’s best to think with your heart. Your heart can sympathize with others and see things quite differently. The Guardian cites a study conducted by the New School for Social Research in New York.

Under the direction of renowned psychologists, they uncover that diving into literary fiction can help to understand the minds of others. In fact, this tactic is used for young medical students to help them learn to be more compassionate when developing a bedside manner.

6. Nurture Your Sense of Curiosity

Each person you meet can give you a learning experience. For instance, a client who seems quite narrow-minded can teach you something about optimism and not giving up. A young colleague inexperienced with life and business can teach you that looking through a fresh perspective can change everything.

Each person in your life can help you learn something and become better at empathizing with others, as no one will think or feel the way you do.

7. Learn to Ask the Right Questions

When you have a conversation with someone, ask better questions to find out more about them. For instance, during a business dinner, prepare three or more questions that will be thoughtful and provoking to good conversation. Not only will it allow you to learn more about these people, but it will prevent any dragging discussions.

This tactic can be used on dates, business meetings, or social gatherings. You’ll be surprised how much you learn about others and how much you must be thankful for in life. Everyone has a story, and most are nothing that you presume.

8. Get Feedback Abou From Others

According to Psichology Answers, there are many benefits to giving and receiving feedback. When you receive feedback, it lets you know what areas you’re doing good on and where you need to improve.

A good management team will let their employees know where they excel and what needs work to do better at their job. On a personal level, you can learn a lot about yourself by simply listening to others. If you want to learn to be more empathetic towards people, then digging deep inside your head and cleaning up preconceived notions and prejudices is the place to start.

9. Pay Attention and Fix Any Empathy Shortage You Identify

Being present in the moment can help you a lot, as it’s crucial for communication, but it can also help you to be more empathetic. People often aren’t sympathetic with others because they’re not giving this person their full attention. When your mind is constantly racing and going through your to-do list rather than listening, you miss so much.

Remind yourself that you need to slow down and stop rushing through life, and it’s always best to give the person before you your time and attention.

10. Examine Your Attitude as You Try to Repair Your Own Empathy Shortage

Your attitude can dictate a lot in your life, even your ability to empathize. Is your concern that you’re always right, you win more times than lose, or that you want to take care of number one? Why not change to a mindset where you want to accept others for who they are, find solutions to problems, and work on building relationships rather than pushing them to the side?

When you open your mind and change your attitude, you allow room for empathy to cultivate.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Overcome an Empathy Shortage

Empathy allows you to appreciate others, motivating you to make a change. It might mean that you’re comforting a friend in need, buying lunch for someone down on their luck, or volunteering to help those less fortunate. Empathy becomes helpful when you use it as inspiration to do something good for others.

When a friend or relative is having a hard time, make sure you listen, care, and help. An empathetic person wants to initiate positive change for others to flourish. When you learn these skills, you also enhance your abilities.

5 Ways Cynicism Can Ruin Your Happiness (Without Realizing It)

April 7, 2022 by Chris Butler

Some people revel in the fact that they are cynics, and nobody can get anything over on them. They despise the world, and it seems nothing will change their attitudes. At the same time, these folks can be impossible at times.

Conversely, you may be the cynic who tends always to see the glass as half-empty. A negative outlook can destroy you, but you don’t have to allow it to win, as you have the power to change your pessimism.

Five Ways that Cynicism Can Ruin Your Happiness

Do you see yourself as a cynic? This person is constantly pessimistic and dwells on the negative aspects of life. They feel that everyone is against them, and nothing ever works out. However, these are five ways that cynicism can ruin your happiness without you even realizing it.

1. You’re More Likely to be Depressed

There is nothing uplifting or positive about being cynical. Since many cynics spend time ruminating about the past, you miss out on the joys of the present. Plus, your negativity can cause a bleak outlook for the future.

This negative attitude might directly cause depression, but it certainly can be a risk factor. According to an article published by the American Psychological Association, cynical hostility creates stress and interpersonal conflicts. It’s also a significant indicator of depression.

2. People in Lower-Income Brackets Often Battle Cynicism

It’s difficult to trust people or take risks when you have a cynical view of your world. You may assume that everybody’s out to get you and that all your endeavors will fail. Since you may be unsure of your talents and skills, you may miss opportunities to advance your career.

Cynicism usually makes you avoid asking others for help, so networking is limited. As a result, you will make less money, making you more cynical. It’s an unproductive cycle that won’t stop until you change your mindset.

3. You May Have Fewer Meaningful Relationships

People who are bound by cynicism usually don’t make pleasant company. When a cynic is in a gathering, it won’t take others long to notice. No matter what people say or do to add some fun to the atmosphere, the cynic squashes it.

They have nothing nice to say about anyone and want to gripe and complain about their problems. These pessimists are miserable, and they want everyone around them to be the same. Does this sound like a familiar scenario to you?

If it does, you’ll, unfortunately, see your list of friends dwindle. Family and friends will stop offering invitations because you never have a good time anyway. Romantic relationships often don’t work out because the other person gets frustrated and leaves.

4. You’re More at Risk for Certain Physical Issues

Did you know that cynicism can affect your physical health? A study published by Psychophysiology discusses the link between cynicism and cardiovascular health. According to the study, the extra stress created by the pessimist mindset can risk heart disease.

Negative emotions can impact your nervous, digestive, and immune systems. Chronic stress can cause an overload of stress hormones, resulting in systemic inflammation. Such issues can lead to hypertension, diabetes, stroke, certain cancers, and even premature death.

5. You May Be Prone to Develop Dementia

If all these health hazards weren’t enough to change your viewpoint, cynicism might be a risk factor for dementia. When you can’t trust anyone and have any positive views, your mind is poisoned. As a result, your cognitive skills can decline, and you could develop dementia, says an article published by the BBC.

Again, the added influx of stress hormones could be the cause. Cynics feel anxious and paranoid that others want to control them. It’s difficult for them to relax because they’re always on guard and expect the worst.

Five Signs That Cynicism Might Harm Your Life

Cynicism isn’t something you suddenly awaken with like measles. It’s a gradual shift in your attitudes from positive to negative. Here are some red flags that indicate that you may be too cynical.

1. You Might Struggle With Cynicism if You Dislike Happy People

Although cynical people expect the worst, they are still unhappy with their lives. They often believe that they are “cursed” by the Universe to be forever lacking in possessions and joy. So, when they encounter a happy person, they inwardly seethe and feel slighted.

If this sounds like you, do you find yourself rolling your eyes when someone smiles or relates a happy story? You may think that they don’t deserve such blessings that you should be receiving. Perhaps you imagine doing immoral deeds to get where they are in life.

2. You’ve Become a Merciless Judge

There’s not a lot of room in your heart for compassion if it’s overrun with cynical attitudes. Pessimists not only distrust other people, but they are quick to point the finger at them. You may find yourself judging others harshly or thinking they deserve any adverse events that happen.

Ironically, some of the faults you criticize others may be ones you also have. You may be shifting the blame to them to take the pressure off yourself. Empathy, compassion, and forgiveness don’t come easily for cynics, so maybe it’s time to reconsider your attitudes.

3. You Feel Isolated by Your Cynicism

How long has it been since you’ve enjoyed yourself in the company of family and friends? Do you often chat with them on the phone or text to keep up with each other? Maybe they’ve become weary of your complaining and endless pessimism.

4. You’ve Become Bitter

When someone offends you, it’s natural to feel hurt and betrayed. It may take a while for you to process the hurt and look at it from a different perspective. However, such offenses can make you an easy target for bitterness.

People who are hurting often hold grudges and develop trust issues. They may decide that if one person offends them, so will everyone else. As the bitterness festers in their spirit, it creates resentment and contempt.

Perhaps you feel like forgiving someone is allowing them off the hook. In reality, it doesn’t mean you excuse or can forget the offense. Forgiveness gives you the freedom to acknowledge the hurt and move on with your life.

Unfortunately, cynics would rather wallow in bitterness and self-pity. It just gives them another reason to feel resentment against the world.

5. Your Communication Changes

Another warning sign that you may be developing cynicism is how you communicate. Do you smile and laugh, or are you constantly scowling and spewing venomous sarcasm? It’s a classic sign that a cynical attitude is overcoming you.

Four Ways to Change Your Cynicism

Once you’ve acknowledged that you have a problem with negative thinking, you’ve taken the first step toward healing. Although it’s good to have critical thinking skills and not be naïve, you needn’t let that be your mindset. These are some ways to trade your negativity for unspeakable joy.

1. Try to be Positive Now That After You Identify Your Cynicism

Being positive doesn’t mean that you deny any problems in the world with a clueless grin. However, you’ll find that the good still outweighs the bad. Instead of concentrating on everything wrong in your life, focus on your many blessings.

2. Change Your Address

One of the reasons you may feel unsatisfied with life is that you still live in the past. You may spend most of your valuable time ruminating over past hurts, failures, and missed opportunities. All this behavior does is make you more cynical and depressed.

Determine that you’re going to move on from the past into the present. There’s nothing you can do to change yesterday. However, you can make a difference today that can mean better things for you in the future.

Consider a mindful practice like meditation or yoga. These are excellent ways to focus on the present moment. You may be surprised at what a difference mindful living can make.

3. Surround Yourself with Positive People

If you want to change your mindset, try being around folks with a positive attitude. Although they’ve still had hurts and disappointments in life, they’ve used them as learning tools for coping. They aren’t oblivious to the evils in the world but instead focus on the good.

4. Learn to Lighten Up

The burdens of a cynic can be heavy and weigh down your soul. Try not to take yourself so seriously anymore. Give yourself permission to laugh and rediscover your sense of humor. You’ll discover that laughter is a healing balm for your weary soul, and your burdens will be lighter.

Final Thoughts on How Cynicism Can Ruin Your Happiness

Life is too short to be miserable and wallow in disappointment and anger. Have you noticed any signs of being a cynic? Now is the time to change your attitude and reclaim the joy and freedom you deserve.

5 Things Bad Money Habits Reveal About Your Life

April 7, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

The world revolves around money, and as the saying goes, it can be the root of all evil. But the reality is this–you need cash to survive in the world. Have you ever considered what your money habits say about you?

Your relationship with money is everything, as it can make or break you. Many people choose to live frugally out of necessity and not because they need to. These folks have probably encountered financial road bumps that made them adopt this lifestyle.

Other people spend every dime they have and can’t wait till the next paycheck comes. These folks have no problem getting cash advances to get them through. In most instances, these folks are frivolous spenders who live for the moment and have no forethought for tomorrow.

Should their car break down or have an electric bill higher than what they budgeted, it can cause everything to crumble. When it comes to money, there will be peaks and valleys. However, the financial valleys teach you the most significant lessons.

Saving for a rainy day is a foreign concept to many teens and young adults. However, fast forward a few years, and many forty- to fifty-year-old people have a reserve and a strong command over their money. You learn as you grow, and maturity and wisdom apply to your funds and other aspects of life.

When things out of your control happen, like a job loss, you learn that saving is imperative for survival. Just because something is right doesn’t make it accessible, and many people struggle with maintaining a budget and good savings plan.

Five Things Your Money Habits Reveal About Your Life

People who went through the Great Depression often learned to live with less. Many of these individuals would hoard things as they knew what it took to survive. According to an article from American History, the financial chaos of the world altered the way people looked at money.

The unemployment rate was above 15 percent, and food was rationed. They would make things like depression bread and water pies to feed their families. You can’t go through such a storm and come out on the other side unscathed.

Now, you’ve never been through something as horrific as the Great Depression, but you’ve been through a pandemic and other upheavals in your personal life. Your money habits say a lot about you as a person. Just like those who went through extreme poverty back in the 1920-1930s, here are some things you can observe by your money habits, or the way you make money, working or having a business and if you want good financial advice for your business you could try an M&A advisory for this.

Bad Money Habit #1 – You’re an Emotional Spender

If you have little to no reserves and live paycheck-to-paycheck, it may be because you’re an emotional spender. These folks shop when their emotions are out of whack, and they feel that buying something will help ease the pain. They run up credit card debts and make elaborate purchases they don’t need to feel better.

The emotional spender uses spending to cope with their anxiety or grief. It’s a dangerous habit because it’s just as addictive as any drug on the streets. Debt can leave you destitute, and you can end up bankrupt.

This individual hasn’t learned the responsibility of money, and they make frivolous purchases and decisions today that affect their tomorrow. Though you won’t find it in the DSM-5, it’s always been a significant condition. According to Psych Guides, many folks become addicted to the feeling they have in their brain when shopping.

It’s a high that curbs the compulsive need. These people spend more money than they have, buy things they don’t need, and they’re always looking for a great deal. It’s similar to hoarding disorder, and it’s an anxiety-based condition.

Bad Money Habit #2 – Fears Control You

Are you afraid to spend a dime? Do you hoard and stash your cash, always waiting for the sky to fall around you? You may have been through some significant financial turmoil in your life, much like the people of the Great Depression.

Your funds are a top priority because you’re afraid to lose your security. If someone asks you about your financial status, you’ll probably tell them you’re broke, even though that’s not the truth. You could have $50,000 in the bank and still see it as less than sufficient.

It’s not that you’re being dishonest, but you see this as not nearly enough funds to protect you. This person may qualify for a show like TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates, where they rewash baggies and do other radical behaviors to keep from spending a dime.

Bad Money Habit #3 – You’re Jealous

A jealous person feels they need to keep up with the affluent folks. Whether you have the cash to do so or not, your money habits show that you try. You will often overextend yourself to buy that car that makes you look like you have more money than you do.

It’s all about putting on a show and trying to keep up, but the problem is that there’s never a point when you’ve arrived. You will forever be chasing a costly position and can destroy your finances. However, most of these people wake up and realize that it’s a foolish way to live, as you should learn to be happy with what you have and live in gratitude.

Bad Money Habit #4 – You Believe in Rewarding Yourself

Some people thrive on pampering themselves, and it’s okay if you can afford it. Your money habits might reveal that you’re someone who must be constantly rewarded to keep going. Maybe you feel that coffee from home isn’t as good as the local donut shop, so you stop there every day for a $6 latte.

You love big vacations, fancy cars, and clothes that make you look like a million dollars. If you look into your money habits, you will see a person who lives to please themselves. This doesn’t mean that you’re not financially responsible, but it shows you love spending money to make yourself feel better.

Bad Money Habit #5 – Lack of Spiritual Maturity

You might think it’s odd to talk about money habits and spiritual maturity within the same topic. However, why do people make all these grand plans and do things without consulting the Universe first? You make these choices, and then you get yourself in a pickle, and you’re suspicious of praying for help, as you knew better in the first place.

Everyone has a plan for their life, which involves a God-given purpose. While you don’t have to pray about every little purchase you make, you should certainly look to the heavens for help on significant acquisitions. Things like buying a home or automobile and other financial endeavors should be discussed with your spirit guides.

The Universe has a plan for your life, but you often get antsy and want a quick-fix or take matters into your own hands. You’re impatient and don’t trust that things work for your good. When you have spiritual maturity, you learn to pray, and the door before you may open or close.

If the door closes, you shouldn’t try to reopen it, as disaster waits on the other side. Someone very wise with their investments is likely an individual who has learned to get the help of God along their path.

Stop Wasting Your Cash by Breaking These Five Bad Money Habits

Are you ready to make some changes in your spending? Most people have a budget, but you still make frivolous purchases every day. This is money that can go into a savings account.

1. Bottled Water (One of the bad money habits, also bad for the environment!)

Why pay over $1.00 a bottle when you can filter your water at home? You can save considerably by avoiding pre-packaged water. Not only will you save some cash, but you will also be a more responsible steward of the earth.

2. Gourmet Coffee

Coffee houses specialize in creating enticing drinks, and they overprice them. Why not invest in a coffee pot and brew your java at home?

3. ATM Fees

Using ATMs not in your bank’s network can be costly. You’ll get a fee from the machine and maybe an additional charge from your bank. Why not prepare for the week and have the cash you need on hand?

4. Eating Out

It’s okay to eat out on occasion, but it’s costly. Your money will go much further when you eat at home, plus it’s a whole lot healthier too.

5. Books and Newspapers

Few people will read a book or newspaper more than once. Since everything is online now, you can save a great deal by reading them on your smartphone.

Final Thoughts on Money Habits and How They Affect Your Life

Your money habits require responsibility and someone who will be diligent about maintaining savings. Many people can’t keep their finances in line, so they get the help of an adviser. If you’ve got a partner with more money sense than you, it might be advisable to have them handle things.

Sit down with your spending from the past three months in hand. What patterns do you see, and what things can you change for the better? Going through your finances can be an eye-opening experience that can help put you on the right path.

Life is Full of Problems, But They Can Make Everyone Stronger

April 6, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

When it comes to problems, most people see them as an obstacle in life. Instead of taking them in stride, they get overwhelmed and make something good out of them. The problems you face in life aren’t the problems themselves but how people deal with them. Contrary to popular belief, issues don’t make you weaker. They don’t bring you down if you don’t let them. It’s all about how you decide to act after facing a problem.

You can be a perfect person, and still, you will have to face hardships. You can go to the best schools, get the ideal job, and have a great group of friends. Still, life is unpredictable, and you can’t control everything. It’s not up to you whether the firm you work at downsized and you must be let go. Nor is it up to you whether your partner needs something else from a relationship. Whether you or a loved one gets sick is not up to you.

But it’s up to you to pull yourself together and learn from whatever life throws at you. Everyone has problems, most from their socio-economic context or other externalities. Some people are born poor. Others are born with certain illnesses. Even people with a seemingly perfect life have to go through some stuff. But everything in life can be a learning experience and make you stronger. You have to learn how to use your problems to your advantage.

What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Person?

At first thought, you might think that a strong person never shows any sign of weakness. Someone who is never hurt by anything. But that’s not the case. Usually, if someone doesn’t seem hurt by anything, they haven’t faced any major issues yet. No matter how desirable that might seem, it isn’t.

Not experiencing any issues means that you are vulnerable and immature. You’re just shielded from the world, and when an issue finally hits you, it’ll hit you hard. What’s genuinely desirable is to be someone who has faced life to its fullest and has gained life experience. Moreover, people don’t understand what true mental strength means. They often confuse it with toughness. But strength comes from the inside, whereas toughness is all about external appearances.

Tough people act like they’ve got their life together. They will act cold and unbothered. They are usually a bit arrogant and immature. However, mental strength is generally expressed with behaviors that people stereotypically associate with weakness. First and foremost, kindness is the most vital behavior a person could enact. Often, society looks at kind people and thinks of them as weak and vulnerable. But it takes a great deal of courage to be kind to others.

Being genuinely kind means taking the risk of giving without ever receiving anything. They are the people who are genuinely able to be empathetic. But that empathy only comes from having lived through hardships. If you’ve never experienced pain, you won’t fully relate to what others are going through. Furthermore, strength is about adapting to any situation and changing your mindset. That means seeing every silver lining in every case you go through.

Kindness Does Not Mean a Lack of Strength

Strength is about acknowledging your weaknesses and admitting you can never stop growing. Not only that, but being able to ask for help is the best thing you can do. It shows that you aren’t scared to admit that you are vulnerable. You would rather risk being turned away than trying to solve everything alone. When you reach out to others, it’s a high-risk, high reward situation. And only the most vital people have the strength to risk everything when they’re already dealing with issues.

Lastly, strength comes from accepting failure and acknowledging that it’s the only way to reach true growth. If you never fail, you never have an incentive to change. You stay complacent and accept your fate. But when you accept that failure is inevitable, you work pre-emptively to soften the blow. Even though you can never entirely avoid it, you prepare yourself for the worst while working on being the best. Plus, it would help if you learned how to stay calm and have a positive mindset no matter what. Strong people don’t get angry for no reason. They take a step back and work proactively towards a solution.

How Facing Problems Makes You Stronger

Problems are a natural part of life. Here are the ways you might benefit from problem-solving.

1. Problem Solving Teaches You How to Be Empathetic

Empathy is an emotion that can’t be genuine without some lived experiences backing it up. Sure, some people are naturally more empathetic. But that’s just because they are more inclined to listen and try to understand what others feel. But genuine empathy comes from knowing how the people around you think, not just guessing. And that can only happen if you’ve lived through problems.

Someone who has never had a problem won’t know how that pain feels. If you’ve never had to go to bed hungry, you won’t be able to relate fully. You won’t understand what that pain truly means if you’ve never gone through heartbreak. That’s not to say you have to starve yourself to try and understand other perspectives. You can still have some level of empathy if your life has been easy.

But, when you’ve been hurt, not only will you logically understand their perspective. You’ll feel how they feel. Not only that, but having problems makes you more curious and open to listening to others. Because you know how hard life can be, you feel like you don’t want that to happen to anyone else. So, you make a conscious effort to listen and help others. This makes you a kinder, stronger person.

2. It Helps You Have a Plan

Having a life plan and a daily routine is one of the best ways to deal with your problems. When you prepare for any possibility, you will be better equipped to handle them correctly. You have to prepare yourself for the worst so that when problems arise, you can solve them. Instead of being shocked by that issue and taking the full blow, you can soften it.

That way, you won’t be stuck handling the total weight of the issue. You will get over it sooner, leaving more time to look for the silver lining. The emotional blowback of hardship is very hard to deal with if you don’t have a structure in your life. But when you have some order, you can pick yourself up sooner. You will follow a strict framework to keep your life together.

In the meantime, you can sort your other issues out. A daily routine will give you some strict rules to follow and help you predict how your days will unfold. If you follow that plan, you don’t have to put any effort into planning on the spot. This is a safety net in case something terrible happens. If something unpredictable comes up, you will have the time and resources to focus on that one issue. This will generally help you be stronger both emotionally and mentally speaking.

3. Your Problems Guide You Towards a Positive Mindset

Having a positive mindset often goes hand in hand with facing problems. And the more problems you face, the more positive you can become. But it would help if you consciously tried to take everything in stride. There are two extremes when it comes to facing problems. You either allow yourself to be torn down by them or learn to grow. The second option is more desirable but easier if you know how to do it.

It’s not that hard to learn to stay positive even in the darkest of times. This might seem like a reductive stance, but taken in context, it isn’t. Some issues aren’t that light. It’s hard to see the positives when it comes to being poor or dealing with an illness. But the alternative to staying positive is sinking into a dark mentality.

Being pessimistic will only make you give up. It will make it seem like there’s nothing left to fight for anymore. You need to stay positive and cling to every little glimmer of hope you can. If you are struggling with your job, remember that you can still succeed as long as you are healthy. If you are dealing with health issues, remember that your family and friends are still around you.

Not only that but going through problems helps you become more positive. When you see how much worse things can get, your mentality shifts. You start appreciating every little thing and finding joy even in the darkest of times. You keep that hope which keeps you going even when everything seems lost. This not only makes you mentally stronger but helps you pragmatically.

You won’t let every little thing bring you down anymore. You will keep persevering and doing things that benefit you, no matter how hard it seems.

Final Thoughts on How Facing Problems Makes You Stronger

People are so afraid of dealing with problems that they don’t realize issues make you stronger. Hardships are inevitable in life. No matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid all of them. The key to dealing with them is not running away from them. The key is learning how to use those hardships to your advantage. What most people don’t understand is that problems make you stronger.

Facing problems helps you grow up. It gives you an accurate comparison of your life and how bad it can potentially get. When you hit your lowest point, you realize how much you have. You start to understand what others go through and how essential being kind is. You begin to value having stability and planning your life. And most importantly, you learn to stay positive even when everything seems dark. As long as you search for the silver lining, facing issues will only strengthen you.

Psychology Reveals 10 Behaviors of Cynical People

April 6, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

In today’s world, it’s easy to let cynicism take hold and keep your mind hostage. While you try your best to remain upbeat and happy, something always comes along to ruin your mood. How can you remain confident in a world filled with cynical people?

Ten Common Behaviors of Cynical People

When you recognize the signs of cynicism, you can do something to change your overall attitude. Not only does a negative attitude affect you, but it also affects those around you. Here are ten behaviors of cynical people that you should observe and how to overcome these common adverse feelings.

1. They Believe the World Is Evil

Cynical people often feed off the dismal headlines that dominate the media. Even if they hear a positive story, it doesn’t impress them. These folks are convinced that the world is inherently evil.

According to an article published by the Psychology Bulletin, this common perception is called negativity bias. It’s when you can overlook all the good happenings around you and focus on the few bad ones. The article further suggests that this mindset usually develops early in childhood.

2. When Good Happens, It’s a Bad Omen

Even when cynical people are blessed, their joy is short-lived. They are often sure that it’s the calm before the storm. Their minds are so blocked with pessimism that they can’t enjoy a celebration because it means something bad will happen.

While everyone in their circle is rejoicing, they are overwhelmed with anxiety as they fear impending doom.

3. They Have to Be Motivated to Be Nice

Cynical people may be grumbly and unpleasant sometimes, but it doesn’t mean they are heartless. They love their family and friends but usually have difficulty showing it. Paying compliments doesn’t come easy, and they are notorious for paying backhanded ones.

Since they naturally have trust issues, pessimists aren’t always quick to do favors. If they see a benefit from helping others, they may do so, but not with a smile. When they happen to do something kind for you, be assured they won’t let you forget it.

4. They Are Suspicious of Everybody

You may never get emotionally close to a cynical person. An article published by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin states that these people don’t view others positively. According to the report, they often believe that even moral people have ulterior motives for doing good deeds.

Do you know someone who second-guesses nearly everything you say or do? For example, you buy this person a beautiful book as a gift. After a half-hearted thanks, they may ask you if you think they need to read more to get smarter.

They often think that others are trying to take advantage of them. Even though you’re doing something kind for them, they aren’t convinced that your motives are pure. Such a mindset can lead to social isolation, paranoia, and depression.

5. Cynical People Usually Don’t Have a Lot of Friends

If you are suspicious of everyone, your circle will be quite limited. Cynics aren’t known for their upbeat personalities or as social butterflies. While most are highly intelligent, they don’t always have the best people skills.

They probably have strained relationships within their family. Most pessimists have those few people who “get” them. These folks have known them for years and are used to fending off their biting criticisms.

6. They Shift the Blame to Others

Another typical behavior of cynical people is that they often view themselves as superior. Everybody else in the world are hypocritical and incompetent. They may exhibit narcissistic behaviors and act condescending to other people.

These folks can’t stand to be wrong in their warped view of superiority. If you call them on the carpet for an offense, they quickly shift the blame to others. Such attitudes can be toxic in their personal and professional relationships.

7. They Consider the Worst Possible Scenario

Pessimistic personalities make worrying an art form. It’s often challenging for them to make decisions because all options look bleak. Instead of considering a positive outcome, they anticipate the worst possible scenario.

They may refuse to take a plane for vacation because they’ve already envisioned a crash. A long-term relationship may be out of the question because they’re sure it won’t last. Consequently, they lose many potential blessings because they won’t take risks.

8. Most Cynical People Live in the Past

Almost nothing in a cynical individual’s life is pleasant and fulfilling. They long for the “good old days,” which they consider better than the present. However, their memories are sometimes exaggerated, which furthers their frustration.

You’ve probably heard them begin a series of gripes with, “Well, back in my day….” People were always nicer, children were better behaved, and the sun was much brighter. It’s sad to see them wasting the present by living in the past.

9. Their Negativity Affects Those Around Them

The law of attraction isn’t biased and will work by either polarity. Cynical folks believe that nothing good ever works out for them. By sending these negative affirmations into the Universe, they attract more of the same.

Meanwhile, they bring the same storm cloud with them to any gathering. While you and others are laughing and trying to have a good time, they find fault with everything.

10. Cynical People Hold Grudges

If you ever offend cynical people, you’ll rarely get back into their good graces. They may view your transgression as inevitable. However, they are often petty and easy to offend, even if your words or actions were completely innocent.

They’ll contemplate this slight and may re-interpret everything in your past relationship. Maybe you were never their friend or partner and were waiting for the right moment. They’ll become even more suspicious of others and may never give you a chance to apologize.

If they accept your apology, be ready for a tongue-lashing. They keep score, and they won’t let you forget all the wrong you’ve done to them. Should they be the offender, don’t expect apologies anytime soon.

Are You One of These Cynical People?

Do you see some of these negative traits in yourself? While it’s wise to be cynical sometimes, you don’t want the mindset to control you. Here are some ways to get a handle on this destructive mindset so you can live a happy life.

1. Admit You Have a Negative Attitude

The first step in most recovery programs is to admit you have a problem. It’s not shameful to admit to yourself that you’re too cynical. Maybe you’ve lived with the attitude for so long that you don’t realize how it’s affecting your life.

Now, you have a chance to change that woeful attitude. Whenever pessimism sneaks into your thoughts, acknowledge it and rethink the situation. You’ll get into the habit of thinking more positively.

2. Cynical People Must Work to Make Positivity a Habit

No, you don’t need a pair of rose-colored glasses to change your attitude. You need to concentrate on the many good things surrounding you. Chances are they outweigh any of the bad ones.

Make a habit of trying to find the good in people. You may find that people aren’t as evil as you think. You’ll also be surprised at how your circle of friends will expand.

3. Be Grateful

One of the reasons you may have a bleak outlook is that you don’t count your blessings. How often have you griped about what you don’t have and neglected to be grateful for the things you have? If you didn’t have these things, how would you feel then?

Practicing gratitude revives your energy and helps you have a brighter attitude. You’re more apt to smile and say “thank you” to all who bless you. Faithful to the law of attraction, your gratitude will attract more things that will make you grateful.

4. Cynical People Should Take a Media Fast

The media isn’t your answer if you’re looking for something to nix your cynical attitude. Consider limiting yourself on how much news you listen to and read. The dismal headlines are enough to make the happiest person depressed.

5. Re-evaluate Your Circle

Remember the old saying that misery loves company? It’s no surprise that cynical individuals are drawn to others with the same mindset. It creates a perfect storm of despair, disappointment, and hopelessness.

Try to avoid being around such people as much as possible. Instead, surround yourself with folks who have a positive outlook and encourage you.

6. Have Fun

It’s easy to be gloomy when you don’t do anything fun and exciting. Stop taking yourself so seriously, and learn how to laugh again. Of course, there’s a time for seriousness, but it shouldn’t be every waking moment.

Try to do something spontaneous every day. Buy a bottle of bubbles and enjoy them with your kids in the park. See one of your favorite comedies and giggle until your sides ache.

If you don’t have a hobby, consider starting something you’ve always wanted. Spend time with a loving pet and notice how they live in the moment. The more you smile and laugh, the more beautiful your world can be.

Final Thoughts on Identifying the Behaviors of Cynical People

Life is too short to find fault with everyone and everything. If you’re one of the cynics who isn’t enjoying life, it’s never too late to make a change. Learn how to cultivate joy in your heart and emerge from the shadows of despair.

5 Reasons Emotional Integrity Is So Important In A Relationship

April 6, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Do you recall a situation where your emotional integrity was challenged during a relationship? These moments often occur when you least expect them, but they help to define your character. Sadly, there are times when being vulnerable and transparent can be quite costly to you, and it may end what you thought was a good thing.

Defining Emotional Integrity

Many people know that integrity has to do with your character and honesty, but this takes things one step further. It’s being brave enough to understand your feelings, desires, and aspirations without caring about the judgment of others. Simply put, it means being honest with yourself.

Did you know that many people wouldn’t dare tell a lie to a friend, but they lie to themselves every day? When you have this transparency in your life, you won’t compromise on your desires or beliefs to suit someone else. This honesty is so important in relationships, both romantic and platonic.

Standing Up for Yourself

Emotional integrity means that you must get to know yourself well. While you may feel that you are in touch with your inner being, frequently, you don’t understand yourself fully. You must take a journey of self-discovery and get to know the things that make you function happily.

You understand that your principles are essential to you, and you must stick by those convictions no matter what the rest of the crowd does. It’s challenging to stand up for what you believe in, especially when everyone else is pressuring you to do something else. For example, you go to dinner with some friends after work.

Everyone orders an alcoholic drink but you, making you feel like the odd person out. Your coworkers call out your choice of beverage and try to persuade you to loosen up and try something with a bit of a kick. Still, you made a long vow never to touch alcohol, which is significant to you because you grew up with an alcoholic father.

You never want to compromise your beliefs and risk becoming what you hated growing up. After much taunting and teasing about your soda, you get firm and let them know you’re not going to drink. Your coworkers weren’t showing or respecting your boundaries, and saying things to make you feel less is nothing but bullying.

Thankfully, you did show honor to yourself, as you held to your values regardless of what the rest of the crowd was doing. Society needs to learn how to establish emotional integrity. Whether the relationships are personal or professional doesn’t matter. Truthfulness is essential.

This is one of the reasons why so many people are afraid to get help when they have a mental health condition like depression or anxiety. They fear that people will judge them if they’re truthful about their illness. So, these folks would rather suffer than get the help they need.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, over 40 million people suffer from these conditions. However, only about 36 percent of those folks seek treatment. This means four percent of the population is struggling and refusing to get help.

Folks should never be afraid to address their emotions or be honest about their feelings simply because they think others will judge them or turn their backs. If you have a mental health need that goes untreated because you fear judgment, you might not get your desperately needed help.

Reasons Why Emotional Integrity is So Important

The foundational building blocks of any relationship are honesty and good communication. You must trust one another and communicate and talk about everything. Beyond the basic things like being honest, here are some reasons this emotional transparency is essential in your relationships.

1. You Don’t Need to Hide Your True Feelings

If you walk on eggshells in a relationship, then you’re not free to express yourself. If you’re sad, hurt, mad, angry, or feel depressed, you should be able to communicate this with your partner. Even in platonic relationships, you must be free to discuss things that bother you.

You will have issues when you hide things and aren’t transparent with one another. The wife who feels neglected and like she’s not essential will one day be the person who takes a stand and walks away. Expressing your feelings is vital for your connection with your partner.

2. You Consider the Wants and Needs of Each Other

Carol wants a new car. She’s tired of putting money into her old clunker that always breaks down. She talks to her husband Tom time and again about the issues. But he always puts her off and says they can’t afford it.

Carol is frustrated and doesn’t think Tom considers the dangers of sitting along the freeway against the cost of a new car payment. After her words fell on deaf ears, she went and traded the car without him knowing. She had all she could take of that car and sitting by the road, so she took matters into her own hands.

Tom was furious and didn’t speak to her for two weeks. In this example, Tom ignores the desperate cries of his wife. He refused to face the fact that they needed a new vehicle.

This vehicle wasn’t a luxury purchase, as it was necessary to get her to work. Plus, it was dangerous for her and the children to sit alongside the road, which happened many times. So, Carol handled it and caused a massive rift between them.

When you ignore one another and don’t take the other person’s needs seriously, it can push your partner to step out of their comfort zone and do what they feel they must. If Tom had emotional integrity, he would have put the safety needs above that of finances, and he would make cuts to make sure the family had what they needed.

3. You Can Be Forthright with Your Mistakes or Weaknesses

No one has a perfect past. Of course, there are many things that you’ve done in your life that you’re not proud of. However, when you have emotional integrity, you’re strong enough to admit these flaws and share them. Just because you have integrity doesn’t mean you must broadcast your whole life to everyone you know.

However, it becomes essential when you’re in a committed relationship or being transparent with past transgressions with a prospective employer. You can have all the optimism in the world, but if you’re not honest in a relationship, you’re just waiting for them to find something that could end it all.

4. You Have an Optimistic Future

Most folks become a couple with the hopes of making it for eternity. However, the statistics of people in divorce court are staggering. While you’ve probably heard that about 50 percent end in divorce, the current US Census found the number is around 40 percent.

Part of the reason people go their separate ways is that they grow apart. There are many reasons why people drift away from each other. It also often results from an old rift. Arguments happen for the smallest of reasons, but what happens during these times of struggle counts.

Retreating into a shell and shutting the world off might work for a turtle. But that doesn’t work so well for a human being. When your relationship has optimism and a firm foundation of trust for one another, it can make it through the most challenging times.

5. You Can Be Yourself

Why do so many people lie to try to impress others? If you don’t think that people exaggerate their assets or inflate their worth, check out an online dating site. According to a study, one in ten dating profiles is fake.

This means that the person is a catfish scammer or has lied significantly on their profile. One of the most significant issues with this type of dating is that people use old photos of their previous glory days, which look nothing like them now. However, you learn that you can be yourself when you have emotional integrity.

If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, they’re not worth wasting your time. The right person will love everything about you, even those little quirks that tend to drive others mad. Integrity is about being honest with everyone else and yourself, and it’s a beautiful feeling to walk in truthfulness.

Final Thoughts on the Importance of Emotional Integrity in Life

There’s no better feeling than knowing that you’re okay with yourself and those around you. Emotional integrity is reaching a level of personal achievement that helps you with discipline and emotional strength. People who master this skill learn to control their emotions. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have overwhelming feelings at times.

Sure, you’ll get mad, tired, angry, sad, and feel like running away at times, but you master good coping skills to keep yourself on an even kilter. These folks have good communication, and the value you as much as they value themselves. A person with integrity, both emotional and otherwise, is an individual you should strive to be.

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