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10 Reasons Solitude is the Most Effective Mood Regulator

July 15, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

It’s been a challenging few years, and it’s times like these where you learn the value of finding solitude. Being alone with your thoughts is not always bad, but it can profoundly affect your mood and overall well-being when you don’t have this time alone.

There are many benefits to shutting the world away and recharging your batteries, clearing your mind, and making plans for the future. Sometimes, you need to turn off the noise and chaos around you so that you can think. Psychologists realize the value of time spent alone, and studies have been dedicated to this private time’s impact on you.

Study Shows Being Alone Can Spark Creativity

One particular study conducted by the University of Buffalo examined 295 individuals. While they noted that spending too much time alone can be mentally damaging, the study showed the benefits. The people who spent more time without the noise from the outside world had higher levels of creativity and a better mood than those who didn’t get much time alone.

Professor Julie Bowker concluded that not all alone time is detrimental, as it can be very beneficial to escape the rumble of the world around you. She further stated that many experts focus on the problems that a lack of socialization can bring, but many don’t see the benefits.

The importance of studies like this shows that it’s very healthy to spend some time alone with your thoughts, though it must be balanced with healthy social interaction. If you tend to be moody and irritable, you may need to shut yourself away for a while and regroup.

Reasons Why Alone Time Can Be a Healthy Practice

Before seeing the benefits of alone time, you must define what solitude means. It all comes down to whether you feel lonely or fulfilled. Your perspective is key to understanding sufficient time spent in silence for you and what’s too much.

If you feel lonely and disconnected from the world, it’s a sign you’re spending too much time alone. This can affect things like your attitude, drive, and self-esteem. However, if you don’t feel lonely, you know that your alone time is beneficial.

Here are some reasons why shutting out the outside world can be imperative for your mood and overall well-being.

1. Solitude Brings a Calming Type of Happiness

Most people are either an introvert or extrovert. Introverts don’t find social interaction as rewarding as others, as they crave their alone time. They find happiness in just being alone with their thoughts.

This personality type needs solitude because it rewards them and their mood. Social exposure stimulates many folks as it causes a surge of dopamine, known as the feel-good hormone.

However, introverted people are extra sensitive to the effects of dopamine, which can cause them to be overstimulated. Instead, they find that their brain reacts better to the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. The happiness that this chemical provides is more calming than stimulating.

According to the National Library of Medicine, acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter starting to gain attention. While talking about dopamine and serotonin is commonplace, other transmitters have many benefits and have been overlooked. For instance, those with higher levels of acetylcholine show lower rates of inflammation and excellent immunity.

2. Alone Time Boosts Your Energy

Have you ever noticed that your energy level is different from other folks? You may be a low-energy person that tires easily when doing stimulating activities. Going to the grocery store or a movie may require you to recharge for a while, as it depletes your resources and puts a damper on your mood.

Do you have a favorite chair or spot where you find that just a few minutes can boost your attitude and energy levels? It’s because you need to be alone to regroup and recharge, and there’s nothing wrong with being different than others.

3. You Can Do What You Want

Many people don’t like social scenes because they must compromise to keep everyone in the group happy. However, when you’re alone, you can do what you want, for however long you want, and you don’t have to answer to anyone. When you call the shots, something is refreshing, as being in charge feels fantastic.

4. Solitude Is Peaceful

Have you ever been to a concert? The noise was so loud it was deafening, but the minute you got outside, you felt free and like you could breathe again. The loud sounds can put your anxiety into overdrive, so you feel instant relief when you escape the noise.

Silence is very peaceful, and you can’t completely relax with so much going on around you. Your mood is elevated when you’re at peace, as turmoil isn’t going to do anything to help your spirits. Noise and confusion can make you cranky and irritable, and a few minutes in solitude brings everything back to a peaceful calm.

5. You Reach a Flow State During Alone Time

Some folks work great with a team and couldn’t imagine being required to work all alone. Conversely, others can’t imagine teamwork as it’s overstimulating for them. They can get great things done when they’re flying solo.

The flow state is the point where everyone wants to be. When work comes effortlessly, you’re in a good mood cause you’re getting things accomplished, and your creativity is soaring. Some people need groups to reach this realm, and others need to be alone.

6. You Deal With Less Drama

Some folks thrive on drama. They love the chaos and noise so much that if things are quiet, they will create a spectacle to add interest to their lives. However, this does nothing good for your mood or mental health.

Some folks love being alone because it is less drama and brings good energy. You don’t have time for turmoil or the people that cause it.

7. It Enhances Emotional Independence

Individuals who always need to be with other people depend on these folks for their emotional happiness. However, you know how to create happiness when you prefer to be alone.

Some folks would describe their emotions as a roller coaster, but for you, it tends to be more of a gentle up and down. You can work through those dark times and problems and enhance your mood without anyone else’s help. It’s just how you function best.

8. Solitude Stimulates Contentment

Being content in life takes a lot of work for some people. However, you’ve been blessed with the innate ability to be content in solitude. You don’t fear that you’re missing out just because you don’t keep a happening social calendar.

You would rather be alone and watch TV, read a book, or meditate in silence as it keeps your moods regular. Finding contentment isn’t easy, but alone time seems to be what does it for you. You could care less if you don’t get an invitation to the party of the year, as you probably wouldn’t go anyway.

9. There’s No Need to Conform to Social Etiquette During Alone Time

There’s a lot of pressure on you in a social situation, as you must act a sure way to be accepted. You don’t like wearing a mask and conforming, so you would rather be alone. You often feel anxious in social situations, as your palms sweat and your heart races.

When you’re alone, you don’t have to think about what others think of you or if you fit in. Solitude directly affects your attitude, as being in these socially awkward situations can make you panic.

10. Solitude Revitalizes Your Mind and Body

Alone time is essential to some folks as it revitalizes their entire system. Have you met people who are constantly on the go? They have one speed, overdrive, and you don’t see how they can function.

You don’t like to run on high octane, as you burn out your resources quickly. Your mood will tank when you’re so busy you don’t have time to stop and think. The correlations between those who crave alone time and introverts can’t go unnoticed, as you must recharge your batteries to feel good.

Final Thoughts on the Reasons Why Solitude Is Great for Your Moods

If you’ve noticed that you’re down and blue lately, could it affect your schedule? Are you not spending enough time alone, and it’s caused significant disruption to your quality of life? Your introverted nature may be begging for you to shut the chaos of the world away and be alone.

Undoubtedly, you will notice that it will enhance your happiness, calm you down, and give you a sense that everything is right in your world. Being alone isn’t nearly as bad as once thought, but you must balance it with social interaction.

10 Easy to Grow Houseplants Anyone Can Grow

July 15, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

If you want to fill your indoor space with plants, it’s easy to become overwhelmed about where to start. You don’t have to have a green thumb to connect with nature without leaving your home. There are many low-maintenance houseplants that anyone can grow with a little sunshine and water.

You can keep indoor plants alive in most conditions, as long as they get sunlight and the correct amount of water. If you’ve ever had a plant that quickly began wilting or yellowing, you likely had a challenging one. Don’t let that stop you from trying again, but ensure you choose a different plant this time.

The houseplants discussed below are perfect for beginners, and you can help them thrive while improving your skills. Finding the right plant for you might take trial and error, but you have many choices. Even if you forget to water it sometimes, it’ll continue thriving.

Some plants can continue to thrive after periods of neglect, making it easy for a beginner or someone without a green thumb. There’s a plant for everyone, and they are more durable than you think.

What You Need in Low-Maintenance Houseplants

Don’t buy the first plant that catches your eye because not all plants are easy to care for. You don’t want to stress yourself over not being able to help the plant thrive. Determining your needs can help you pick the best plant for your home.

If you want a low-maintenance plant, you must avoid anything with super-delicate leaves. Additionally, you’ll want to avoid anything sensitive to soil with salt and mineral buildup. Choose something with flexible care needs that can thrive in any differing conditions.

The best houseplants you can choose as a beginner include those that can:

Survive in any potting soil
Grow in different lighting conditions
Stay resilient when water amounts waver

The Benefits of Houseplants

It’s essential to understand the benefits of houseplants if you want to help them thrive. Having plants in your home does more than improving the aesthetic and allows you to connect with nature. Some of the benefits to having indoor plants are that they:

Help you relax
Freshen up your space
Create a calming environment
Reduce your stress levels
Improve your concentration
Promote a healthy immune system
Reduce symptoms of mental health conditions
Boost your productivity
Improve indoor air quality

Ten Houseplants Anyone Can Grow

When you’re ready to grow a houseplant or two, these are perfect for beginners. Don’t worry if you’ve killed a houseplant before because these options are resilient, and anyone can grow them.

1. ZZ Plant

The ZZ plant is scientifically called Zamioculcas zamiifolia. It is a tropical plant that is also one of the easiest to care for. It doesn’t need much water as you can go weeks without watering it.

This plant is also okay without much sunlight, although it will need some. It’s important to note that it is toxic to cats and dogs, so you might want to consider a different plant if you have pets.

2. Monstera

This plant can adapt to most light conditions, so you don’t have to worry too much about placement. It’s also drought-tolerant, so it’s okay if you forget to water it sometimes. This tropical plant is low maintenance, and anyone can grow it.

If the leaves of your monstera become crispy, it means it’s either getting too much sun or not enough water. Yellowing leaves indicate overwatering. If either of these happens to your plant, it’ll bounce back quickly once you adjust how you care for it.

3. Chinese Evergreen

This plant is also called Aglaonema and is a striking low-maintenance plant. It is resilient to low light and will be okay if you forget to water it or overwater it.

The colors range from hot pink to light green, allowing a pop of color in your home. You can even find white and red on some of them. A Chinese evergreen plant is toxic to cats and dogs, so be mindful if you have pets.

4. Philodendron Heartleaf

The philodendron heartleaf is an adaptable plant that prefers indirect sunlight. You’ll want to be careful of placing it in a location with bright sunlight because it can cause it to wilt. It likes lots of water, but it’ll be okay if you forget occasionally. You’ll also want to watch out for overwatering because it can cause the leaves to turn yellow.

5. Snake Plant

A snake plant is easy for anyone to grow, so it’s perfect for beginners or those without a green thumb. It’s a type of succulent and thrives in dry conditions, so you won’t have to worry about a watering schedule. As long as they get enough light and you water them sometimes, you can enjoy them in your home for years.

The leaves are stiff, sharp, and spikey, so be careful when touching them. They’re also toxic to cats and dogs, so you might want another option if your pet tends to get into your plants.

6. Aloe

Aloe is one of the easiest plants to care for and are usually inexpensive, too. This plant is toxic to pets, so remember it before purchasing. Aloe prefers a bright, sunny spot in your home but will do okay on a desk or bedside table that gets indirect sunlight.

You only have to water it once every two to three weeks, depending on how dry the soil feels. This plant is beneficial to keep in your home because it has medicinal properties. Breaking a leaf off allows you to access the gel that helps soothe sunburns, lighten dark spots, and moisturize the skin.

7. Sansevieria

A sansevieria plant thrives in many environments. It can survive in low light or in areas of bright and full sunshine. This plant also doesn’t need much water and isn’t sensitive to changes in temperature.

Sansevieria has air-purifying properties, making it popular amongst those who want fresh air in their home. If the leaves become yellow, droopy, or smell funny, you’re overwatering it.

8. Cactus

Cactus is a prickly succulent that prefers dry landscapes, so they’re perfect if you often forget to water your plants. They grow slowly and don’t require fertilizer or special soil. Cactus will thrive if you place them in a bright and sunny location in your home. Since they are prickly, they can be dangerous to children and pets.

9. Paddle Plant

This bold succulent has big, round leaves and pink tips. They prefer bright light, so it’s best if you sit them in a sunny location like on a windowsill. It’s okay if their soil gets dry, so it’ll survive if you forget to water it sometimes.

10. Peperomia

With over 1,000 species of peperomia, it’s easy to find one that you enjoy looking at. Each species has a uniquely shaped leaf and color, and they are resilient if you forget to water them.

The most common peperomia is a rubber plant, which can tolerate different amounts of light. They prefer a slightly shady spot but will do okay in a bright area.

The lemon-lime variety of peperomia has a striking yellow and green leaf pattern. This plant holds water in its stems and leaves, making them resilient if you forget to water them.

Ensure the soil is dry before watering it again every week or two. Overwatering is easy, so don’t do it too often. If you accidentally do too much, the plants will bounce back when the water dries up a little.

Things to Keep in Mind When Growing Houseplants

When choosing your plant container, you’ll want to consider the size. A large container or pot is sometimes more manageable because it holds more soil, stays moist, and resists temperature fluctuations.

You must consider the plant’s roots system, too. If your plant becomes rootbound, meaning the roots take up every inch of available soil, it won’t thrive. The plant won’t grow well, and it’ll dry out quickly.

Ensuring the correct side pot or container can make a difference in how well your plant survives. You must also provide your container has drainage holes, or your plant will become waterlogged. If your container doesn’t have holes, it’s best to use it as a cover for the original pot instead.

Once you’ve chosen your container and added the soil, you’ll want to water the plant thoroughly. The watering frequency depends on the temperature, amount of sun, plant size, and pot size. Water it enough that the soil never completely dries out, or it could be hard to re-wet.

You can add a layer of mulch on top of the soil. It’ll help it look more attractive and retain moisture for longer. Keep the mulch at least an inch away from the plant’s stems.

Final Thoughts on Easy to Grow Houseplants Anyone Can Grow

You might think growing houseplants is hard, but anyone can do it. All that it takes is finding the right houseplant for you. It’ll be resilient and can withstand care fluctuations. These plants will get you started on your houseplant journey. Once you get comfortable caring for the easy plants, you can move on to something more challenging.

8 Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Most People Ignore

July 15, 2022 by Chris Butler

As the days get shorter and winter approaches, some people experience sadness and depression. Their mood changes triggered in late fall or early winter may get better as the seasons change into spring and summer. This disorder is seasonal affective disorder or SAD. Here are some SAD signs most people overlook.

How many people suffer from SAD?

Approximately .5% to 3% of people in the United States suffer from SAD. People who struggle with depression are at a higher risk. Of these people, 10% to 20% who have a depressive disorder also have SAD. It’s more common in young adults between eighteen to thirty, and women are more prone to it than men. Around 10% to 20% of Americans experience a milder type of SAD called the “winter blues.”

What causes seasonal affective disorder?

It’s unknown precisely what causes seasonal affective disorder, but here are some theories.

The biological clock gets moved: When it shifts, it can disrupt your mood, hormones, and ability to sleep. You have difficulty adjusting to the changes when there are fewer daylight hours.
Brain chemical imbalances: A chemical imbalance in your brain could cause you to experience SAD. Sunlight helps regulate serotonin, a hormone that improves your mood. When there’s a lack of sunshine, your serotonin levels drop, leading to depression and sadness.
Lack of vitamin D: Vitamin D influences your serotonin levels. Sunlight is a major producer of vitamin D in your body. When there’s less sunlight in the winter, you may develop a vitamin D deficiency. This affects your serotonin levels and your mood.
Too much melatonin: Melatonin is best known as a sleep aid. But with less sunlight, your body can make too much of this hormone. This affects your sleep and mood. If you’re sleepy during winter, your body may have too much melatonin.
Depressing thoughts: Your thoughts have power. What you think affects how you feel. Being stressed, anxious, and struggling with negative thoughts about longer days and cold weather can lead to seasonal affective disorder.

How does a doctor diagnose seasonal affective disorder?

Discuss this with your doctor if you think you’re suffering from SAD. They will ask questions from a questionnaire to determine if your symptoms fit the criteria for SAD. Here are the four criteria they may talk to you about.
1. You must display major depressive symptoms, such as the following signs:
- - Suicidal thoughts
  - Lack of concentration
  - Low energy
  - Trouble sleeping
  - Weight loss or gain
  - Appetite changes
  - Loss of interest in doing regular life
  - Feeling depressed every day
1. You must have depression occurring during specific seasons. This isn’t just in the winter. Besides summertime, some people feel SAD the summer. This depression must occur for at least two consecutive years.
2. You must have frequent feelings of depression at other times of the year.
3. You may not fit these criteria exactly, but you still have SAD. Don’t suffer alone or for an extended time. There is a treatment to help you feel better during the winter.

Here are eight signs of seasonal affective disorder that most people ignore

Do you or someone you know see these signs?

1 – Dealing with depression most of your day

Most of the day, you may feel sad and depressed. You’ll notice these feelings occurring more as winter approaches. You may feel better on sunny days during the winter but dread the next day if you know it will be cloudy and cold.

2 – Seasonal affective disorder causes loss of interest in activities

Things you usually enjoy suddenly don’t feel that exciting. You may talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too cold or dark outside. Your friends may try to persuade you to join them in activities. If you continually say no, they’ll eventually give up inviting you, which only adds to your feelings of sadness.

3 – Sleep problems often arise from seasonal affective disorder

You may have trouble sleeping or sleep too much. This sleeplessness could stem from a lack of vitamin D or too much melatonin. Your insomnia adds to your tiredness. A lack of energy makes it hard to get out of the house.

4 – SAD contributes to negativity

You may think about your worthlessness, boredom, or feeling that life isn’t worth living. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please get help right away.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifetime code is 988 in the United States. You can text, call or chat 988 to connect with a trained counselor. These counselors are available to talk 24/7. So, if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, don’t suffer alone. Get help immediately.

5 – Difficulty concentrating

Depression can make you feel hopeless and that nothing in your life will change. You may find concentrating hard as you think nothing in life is essential. You may have trouble at work or school because you can’t focus. As spring arrives, you feel a renewed sense of purpose and interest. This is a good sign that you have a SAD. You may have a mild case of it, but don’t ignore this sign.

6 – Want to stay inside all winter

If you have a SAD, you may feel tired all winter. You might sleep a lot and lack the energy to leave the house. This leads to more fatigue. Some people can’t sleep in the winter because of disturbances in their biological clock.

7 – SAD may cause carb cravings

A sign of SAD many people ignore is craving carbs in the winter. As the weather turns cold, individuals who suffer from seasonal affective disorder crave carbs. Eating carbs can boost your happiness. This burst of energy is because carbohydrates produce serotonin, the hormone that improves moods like an antidepressant.

8 – Seasonal affective disorder might lead to weight gain

During the winter months, you have natural hormonal changes that occur. If you have SAD, this can lead to weight gain. Plus, the holidays are during the winter. So you’re apt to gain weight eating all the goodies surrounding the holiday celebrations. Plus, during the colder months, you’re less likely to be outdoors doing physical activities. All these things add up to weight gain.

How does a doctor treat seasonal affective disorder?

Treatment for SAD is available. These treatments may work separately or together with another treatment.

1 – Light therapy to decrease the depression

Light therapy is an effective treatment for SAD. It exposes you to bright light so your body can make more vitamin D and serotonin. You can purchase these lights online. They need to be at least 10,000 lux. For the best results, the patient basks in this light for at least 35 to 40 minutes daily.

2 – Psychotherapy

Certain types of psychotherapy are effective in helping bring relief to those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Talking therapy helps people learn how to cope with this disorder. You may meet with a group or with one person. The idea is to focus on the positive things in life instead of negativity. Light therapy and psychotherapy work well together.

3 – Vitamin D and depression

If you suffer from SAD, it could be because of a lack of vitamin D. Try daily vitamin D supplements. Researchers have mixed views on whether vitamin D supplements are effective in getting rid of SAD. Light therapy was most effective, but combining the two could be your best course of action.

4 – Exercise

As well as eating a healthy diet, it’s important to get physical exercise every day. Please keep it simple. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. The best place to get physical exercise is outdoors. It also coordinates your body’s natural clock, helping you sleep better at night. Exercise stimulates your brain to be more awake during the day and helps you wind down at night.

Resist the urge to pull the covers over your head. This only adds to your feelings of sadness and depression. Get outdoors as soon as possible. It may be hard at first, but if you do it daily, you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel. You don’t need to do high-impact exercises. Try these outdoor exercises.

Walking
Biking
Jump rope
Hiking

Final thoughts on understanding seasonal affective disorder

You may have noticed as winter sets in, you struggle with sadness and depression more than usual. Many people experience the “winter blues.” If your reaction to winter, longer days, and cold goes beyond feeling down, you may have seasonal affective disorder or SAD. This disorder occurs mainly in the winter, but some people also struggle with it in the summer. It’s characterized by signs similar to depression. There are several natural ways to treat SAD, but if your struggles are getting more challenging or you feel severe depression, be sure to seek help. You don’t need to suffer alone. Don’t give up hope. There are treatments for SAD that are very effective. You can get your happy disposition again and enjoy life.

5 Ways the Loss of a Parent Impacts Young Children, According to Psychology

July 15, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

The loss of a parent in childhood can cause deep emotional and psychological wounds. Even as an adult, grieving a parent’s death isn’t easy. So, you can only imagine how scared and confused a child would feel.

Sadly, around 5% of children lose their parents before reaching adulthood. The death of a parent in childhood can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. It also may cause the child to lack an identity since they didn’t have stable parental involvement. Adults who lost parents at a young age recall feeling vulnerable and abandoned.

Dealing with such a life-altering event in childhood may also lead to substance abuse or eating disorders. Others may struggle with personal relationships or struggle in work environments.

Even though losing a parent changes a child’s life forever, it doesn’t mean they can’t adapt. After grieving and processing their feelings, children can lead an everyday, healthy adult life. However, losing a parent undoubtedly impacts young children in profound ways.

5 Ways the Loss of a Parent Impacts Young Children

A 2022 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health analyzed the impact of parental death before adulthood. Researchers hoped to gain valuable insight into how people processed and overcame grief associated with losing a parent. To do this, they conducted in-depth interviews with 14 adults – six men and eight women.

All of them had experienced the loss of a parent at least five years before being interviewed. The average age of the participants when their parents died was sixteen.

Some of the sample questions included the following:

“How did losing your [Mom/Dad] affect you?”
“What support did you receive after the loss of your [Mom/Dad]?”
“How did you come about receiving that support?”

These individual recollections about dealing with parental loss revealed several commonalities. Even though each person had their own story, they all dealt similar emotions and challenges. Below, we’ll review a few of the impacts of losing a parent in childhood.

1. The Loss of a Parent Causes Social Withdrawal.

Many participants said their friends didn’t always provide adequate support after losing a parent. However, children often don’t have experience with death and may not know what to say. For instance, some participants recalled their friends saying they would “feel better in a couple of days.”

If children don’t have a solid support system, it may cause them to withdraw from friends and family. Even if they have people to comfort them, they might still need time to themselves. Losing a parent shocks most children, who often self-isolate due to grief.

Participants remember distancing themselves from friends or suppressing their emotions to deal with parental loss. Some focused more on their studies or travel plans to distract themselves. However, not allowing time for grieving can cause even more psychological pain later.

2. Grieving a Parent Creates a Storm of Painful Emotions.

The parent loss elicits strong emotions ranging from anger to grief to denial. Some children may even feel guilty for their parent’s death, believing they somehow caused it. It can create a heavy burden, especially if the child felt angry or resentful of the parent when they passed.

However, after going through the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – most participants eventually found peace. Even still, the pain doesn’t completely go away, as healing from the loss of a parent is a lifelong process. For example, graduations, birthdays, marriages, and other significant events may cause grief to reemerge.

3. Losing a Parent Makes Self-Care Difficult.

Many of the participants said that their physical health declined after going through the loss of a parent. Erratic or unhealthy eating habits, difficulty handling basic needs like bathing, and even panic attacks were expected. Some turned to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of losing their parents.

4. The Grieving Process Can Make Survivors More Resilient.

However, after survivors dealt with and accepted the loss, they felt more resilient when handling challenges. Most participants lost a parent an average of 12 years prior, which gave them time to heal. They recalled being able to deal with situations that others often found unbearable.

In addition, participants felt more grateful for life and had greater awareness of its fleeting nature. Therefore, they lived more fully and authentically, not allowing petty problems to overwhelm them. Some felt closer to their extended families, as loss makes the heart grow fonder.

5. Grieving The Loss of a Parent Changes Everything.

Even if the participants had a stable support system, losing a parent affected their life substantially. Many reported feeling like they grew up too fast or felt responsible for their siblings from a young age. Since they had more obligations than the average child, they often had to suppress their own needs. This caused some to feel stifled or like they had missed out on their childhood.

However, participants also said that losing a parent helped guide their life choices. For instance, they imagine their parents being with them during significant events. Keeping them in mind throughout life allowed them to feel close to their parent, even though they had passed.

Final Thoughts on How Losing a Parent Impacts Children

Losing a parent at any age causes deep feelings of grief and devastation. The person you looked to for support and guidance suddenly isn’t there anymore. As a child, this realization can cause lasting psychological and emotional wounds well into adulthood. However, a study found that children who lost parents at a young age felt more resilient than their peers.

They had to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities, but these problematic experiences strengthened them. Losing a parent also helped them cherish their other family members more.

Finally, the experience allowed them to feel closer to their parent in new ways. They imagined their parent when making important life decisions, which comforted them throughout life.

So, losing a parent undeniably changes one’s life, but it also provides an opportunity for self-growth. Taking enough time to heal and reminiscing fond memories with the parent can help deal with the loss.

4 Habits to Help Someone Unlock Their Full Potential

July 14, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Alone, people can’t always find ways to reach their full potential. After all, we all need someone to guide us and point out our flaws and strong suits. That’s one of the reasons why this society has always valued mentors. Because they are people who have learned things the hard way and can make sure others don’t hit the same obstacles while working towards our goals. It’s also important to have someone who can point you toward the right path in life.

People aren’t born with a sense of responsibility and a rock-solid moral code. They must learn right and wrong. And, most importantly, they need a safe space in which they can explore and figure out what their interests are. Everyone needs to play their part and help others reach their full potential. It’s a matter of duty, but it’s also the morally right thing to do. You should always look out for your friends and family and help them improve themselves.

But then the question is, who is going to help you out? Who is going to mentor and nurture you? If you are lucky, you’ll have someone willing to lend you a hand. But there’s a high probability that no one will. In that case, you need to learn to look out for yourself. You need to develop some habits to become the best version of yourself.

How to Know When Someone Has Reached Their Full Potential

If we were to speak philosophically, there is no way for someone to reach their full potential. But that’s just in abstract terms. Technically, there is always some way to improve yourself personally and professionally. But, in pragmatic terms, reaching your full potential means being fulfilled and being on the path to progress. Someone reaches their full potential when they have healthy interpersonal relationships, good family life, and a job and hobbies that they love.

Of course, this is not an exact definition of the concept. For everyone, reaching their full potential will look different. The main thing that defines the best version of someone is their personal values and goals. If someone values having a family over having a stellar career, they will be fulfilled when they get the family they want. Even if they aren’t a CEO of a company, that will not make their life any less happy. If someone values having a career, not having kids might not be an issue as long as they excel in their line of work.

Some people value a traditional life, others want to explore and live for the moment. Some people are fully content with traveling and working wherever they can to sustain their passion. Your principles and moral code as just as important in shaping how you want your future to look. If you value selflessness, you’ll probably find happiness in helping people out. Whether that’s through an NGO or some other method, that’s up to you.

No matter how you’ve imagined your perfect future, there are ways to ensure that you get yourself on the right path. Or, if you want to help someone else get on that path, you can learn to do that too. You might even find that mentoring someone will help you better understand what your desires are. Success takes on many forms, but the fact is that you can’t make it happen if you are not committed to it.

It’s not enough to do the bare minimum at work and expect to be promoted. It’s not enough to tell your partner that you are sorry after you mess up. You need to prove that you take accountability for your actions. Basically, being the best version of yourself is not just a full-time job. Indeed, this is a lifestyle. And you need to create habits that make it so that you are always improving.

4 Habits to Help Someone Unlock Their Full Potential

These four behaviors can help everyone, achieve success and smash their goals.

1. Keep Learning Every Day

People seem to think that they only need to have the knowledge to navigate through life. As long as you can do your job and handle some personal relationships, they’re fine. But that’s exactly how people become complacent and settling for what’s “good enough.” If you want to surpass that point, you need to learn that you can never stop learning.

The biggest advancements in human history were made by people who asked questions that had no answer. And, instead of taking the easy way out and dropping the question, they found the answers. That’s because they were fascinated by things and wanted to learn all about them. And that’s exactly what you need to do if you want to excel. And that doesn’t mean you have to stick your nose in all the physics books you find.

If something doesn’t interest you, don’t learn about it. But find at least one thing that interests you and make an effort in that field. After a while, you’ll make a habit out of learning. Once you do that, you’ll find that you’ll want to learn things even about fields you wouldn’t have thought you’d be interested in. And learning is something you can do in all areas of your life. You can learn things about people to have better relationships.

Or you can learn things about your favorite hobbies to improve. You can learn about anything you want, and everything you’ll learn will bring you closer to unlocking your full potential.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset

Over three decades ago, Dr. Carol Dweck started to research what leads to student failure and how that can be fixed. After interviewing students and collecting data, she realized that mindset plays an important role. To be exact, how flexible your mindset is can determine how well you perform. A fixed mindset means that you believe intelligence and your ability to learn are unchangeable traits.

That you can only be as smart as your genetics made you out to be. But a growth mindset means that you believe those traits can improve through practice. This means that you can get smarter and can increase your capability to learn if you work for it. Dweck’s studies show that if you believe that you are good enough to do something, you are more likely to succeed. For example, if a student believes they are good enough to pass an exam, they will be more likely to do so.

By believing in yourself you become more committed and motivated. It’s a positive mindset that makes you find the strength to work and become better, even if the odds seem to be stacked against you.

3. Work on Your Time Management by Setting Goals

People often struggle with being responsible. But that’s not because they don’t want to be. Morally, most people value responsibility. What’s tricky about it is putting it into practice. And one of the most important elements that can help you become responsible is working on time management.

The day is long enough to allow you to do work towards all your goals. But people don’t know how to be efficient and make the most out of a day. One of the most important things you can start doing is keeping lists and having a calendar. No one can remember everything they wanted to do in a day, and having a visual aid always helps. It’s also an easy thing to do and develop into a habit.

When you write out your tasks for the day, two things can happen. First of all, you will be forced to think about what your goals are and how to go about achieving them. Second, you will have to learn to prioritize. Having everything written down will make you realize if you have too many or not enough things scheduled.

Sometimes, it’s not that people do too much; it’s that they waste a lot of time. Taking breaks and doing things you like is perfectly fine. In fact, you need to make time to do what you like. But it still helps to schedule them, otherwise, you’ll end up doing nothing for hours on end. If you want to reach your full potential, you’ll have to learn that every second matters.

4. Learn to Accept Failure

Somehow, society seems to believe that failure is a sign of weakness, or that it shows you won’t amount to anything. But all successful people will tell you that failure is not only a normal part of life but also a necessary evil. You can learn more from failing than you’d ever learn by being seemingly perfect.

The problem with failure is that people usually give up when it eventually happens to them. They lose motivation and start believing that they are not fit to do whatever they failed at. This mentality infiltrates the mind from a very young age when grades become a thing. As a result, kids learn that a bad grade means they are dumb or irresponsible. And this mentality usually stays with someone throughout their life.

But, when you start learning how to make the best out of a bad situation, that’s when you’ll reach your full potential. Instead of giving up, know how to do better next time. Work towards fixing your mistakes and improving upon your ideas. Even failure wins you experience, and that’s something invaluable. No matter the outcome, experience is something that will help you become better and achieve your life’s goals.

Final Thoughts on Habits to Help Someone Unlock Their Full Potential and Reach Their Goals

Reaching your full potential is the best way to ensure you live a fulfilling life. But, to do that, you need to develop healthy habits that help you grow daily. Even if no one helps you along the way, you can learn to help yourself. And you can even teach other people what you’ve learned through trial and error. After all, that’s how society becomes a better place.

No matter what your goals are, the same steps to planning for success still apply. And one of the most important steps is to keep learning no matter where you are. But don’t just learn new information from books. Practice what you know and learn from your failures. Believe in yourself and develop a growth mindset. But if you need a quick tip, start working on your time management. Having a schedule can make a huge difference in your life.

3 Red Flags of Someone With Psychological Scars

July 14, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Dealing with psychological scars is not something that anyone should take lightly. You should always try to do your best to help hurt people who struggle to get back on the right path. But that doesn’t mean you should accept all of their toxic behaviors. No matter how much you might care about someone, you should never let a narcissist or other toxic person affect you.

Usually, people who have psychological scars don’t grow up to be the nicest. That doesn’t mean they are inherently evil. Deep inside, they might even be the nicest people alive. But their past is not the brightest, and that probably means they are not the warmest people you’ll meet. It’s not exactly their fault if they grow up to be introverted and cold.

Still, having been hurt should never be seen as a reason to let them off the hook for anything. Many scarred people are narcissists and egotistical. Many of them don’t know how to have healthy interpersonal relationships. And, if you look close enough, you’ll see that many red flags can show you who they really are. If you pay attention to the subtle things, you’ll see that their scars are deeper than they might seem.

What Are Psychological Scars?

Everyone has some sort of psychological scars or at least bruises. For some, they have healed. For others, they haven’t. But those people must deal with their issues and their past. On the other hand, some people struggle to heal, and sometimes never do. Of course, no one can blame people for not being able to heal from trauma. The issue is when people use that trauma to legitimize their inappropriate behaviors.

Still, psychological scars are very real and they can affect a person’s entire life and well-being. After going to a frightening or otherwise distressing event, some people might struggle to cope with day-to-day life. These scars result from traumatic events. Trauma can take many forms. However, it often traces back to events that happened in a person’s childhood.

When things happen to people during their first years of life, the effects tend to stick with them forever. That’s because kids’ brains are developing and are still being shaped, so everything that affects them will stick. That doesn’t mean that adults can’t be affected by traumatic events. Still, for most people, scars come from earlier in life.

It’s important to understand that a traumatic event is not someone being scared because they saw an insect in their room. Not all events that frighten people are bad enough to qualify as traumatic, nor do they leave scars. Traumatic events often come from abuse, be it physical, emotional, or psychological. Or they can be life-or-death situations, accidents such as car crashes, natural disasters, or acts of violence such as armed robbery.

Sometimes, even being a witness to violence is enough to leave a mark forever. If you’ve been raised in a home where the parents always hit each other, you’re likely to be struggling with some issues. Sometimes, people struggle with the effects of events that other people overlook. For example, being traumatized because of your parents’ divorce is not something that people think can happen. Most people would just think that the kid is going to be sad for a bit and then heal.

For instance, a parental divorce can leave a mark forever. Some other overlooked causes of trauma are deaths of a loved one, injuries, or diagnosis of a serious medical condition. These events can affect even whole families, but some fail to address and resolve these traumatic childhood events. People have started taking psychology seriously in the past couple of decades, but the field still doesn’t get the respect it deserves. Many older people still have a skewed view of therapy, because of how they’ve been raised.

In the past, society stigmatized people who sought therapy. Unfortunately, some people still perpetuate that myth, making people feel ashamed about their need for help. Because of that, many people don’t ever resolve their trauma. They just bury it deep inside and try to live with their psychological scars. But that doesn’t ever allow them to heal and be the best version of themselves.

So, many people break under the weight of these issues, and they allow traumatic events to change them for the worse. They end up developing egotistical and mean behaviors and, chances are, they’ll hurt many of their friends. No matter how much you’d want to help someone like that, it’s not always in your best interest to stick by them.

3 Red Flags of Someone with Psychological Scars

Watch for these typical behaviors of someone who struggles with trauma.

1. They Display the Traits of a Narcissist

Anyone who ever had to deal with a scarred person will tell you from experience that these people show narcissistic tendencies. Once someone goes through a traumatic event, their brain will automatically default to more egotistical behaviors in an attempt to shelter them. When people are hurt, their brain needs to find ways to get over the pain and get their life together. This overly protective behavior can quickly spin out of control.

The need to feel isolated and safe makes people start to lose touch with reality and society. A narcissist can slowly start losing the ability to empathize and properly communicate. Mind you, all these behaviors can be indicative that you are dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, which is something entirely different. That’s a medical disorder, whereas these narcissistic behaviors are a direct effect of past trauma.

These two things aren’t the same and people often conflate them. The main difference is that psychologically scarred people don’t usually act with malicious intent. Still, that doesn’t mean their behavior is something you should have to put up with. A narcissist can affect you because these people won’t think about how their actions hurt you. If they want to get something, they will take it without a second thought.

If they want to pick a fight with you, they will do it without any remorse. These tendencies often come as a way to counteract the feeling of powerlessness that scarred people feel. There is no way to help these people if they don’t want to help themselves. They will take all your advice as an insult and strike back if they feel threatened.

So, it would be advisable not to make sacrifices for them as you won’t be able to help them. Any kind of egotistical behavior, like lashing out or throwing tantrums for seemingly no reason, is a red flag. Don’t use their trauma as an excuse for their behavior. While childhood and past trauma cause narcissism, they’re not an excuse. And you should never get yourself hurt to help someone heal their psychological scars.

2. They Don’t Trust People

This probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but people on the receiving end of hurt and trauma don’t find it easy to trust. If you’ve been abused, what proof do you have that there are people out there who have your best interest at heart? You’ve lived your whole life being lied to and emotionally or physically hurt. At some point, you’ll start believing that every person would be willing to treat you like that.

While not being trusting towards others doesn’t make someone a narcissist, it’s not exactly a great trait. And this is a sign that you are dealing with someone who is struggling with serious issues. It’s your choice whether you want to heal them. But you should know that it can be toxic to interact with someone who doesn’t trust you. When someone has trouble trusting people, that will affect every interpersonal relationship they will have.

They won’t tell people when something is bothering them. They won’t ask for help or talk about their personal life. And, most importantly, they’ll always expect the worst. They’ll probably believe everyone will lie or betray them. These people are not going to bring a new positive to your life.

If you get emotionally involved with a narcissist or emotionally insecure person, they will often hurt you. The more you’ll want to help them, the more you’ll feel like you’re hitting a brick wall. If you want to help these people heal, you’ll need to be as detached as possible. You’ll need to advise them to seek professional help without allowing emotions to cloud your judgment.

3. They Struggle with Substance Abuse

Probably the biggest red flag that tells you someone can’t deal with psychological trauma is that they are struggling with substance abuse. That doesn’t mean you’ll see them walking around with a bottle, but there are always signs of this kind of behavior. Of course, substance abuse doesn’t automatically mean that someone is dealing with some dark stuff.

Some people become addicted because they like the thrill of using. Others become addicted because of their socio-economic environment. Still, substance abuse and trauma connect very tightly. For instance, around 60% of American young people with PTSD develop a substance abuse issue. And there are many more statistics that point to there being a strong connection between trauma and addiction.

If a person always seems tired or avoids people at all costs, those can indicate an addiction issue. Even if they never show up drunk to work and even if they seem functional, it doesn’t mean they are. Addicts are often angry, irritable, and depressed. They display dramatic personality changes. Even if you don’t pick up on those signs, the physical changes will be clear enough.

Bloodshot eyes, dramatic weight loss, and a generally unkempt appearance are amongst the most common signs. Again, trying to be friends with such a person will only hurt you. It doesn’t mean you can’t try helping them. You just shouldn’t try to be friends with them until they get their life together.

Final Thoughts on Red Flags of Someone with Psychological Scars

What’s important to understand is that a narcissist might want help. But sometimes, your good intentions won’t help you help them. You should try to keep your distance while still offering them support when they need it. But you don’t need to sacrifice your well-being in the process.

If someone exhibits narcissistic tendencies, has trouble trusting, or has a substance abuse issue, you must tread carefully. A toxic person or narcissist will exhibit these behaviors because they have psychological scars, but that doesn’t mean their actions are justified. These behaviors will hurt you and push you away. If you truly want to help them, advise them to seek professional help.

The Psychology of Attraction, According to Counselors

July 14, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Powerful biological and evolutionary forces dictate our attraction to others. However, most people can’t pinpoint what exactly makes someone attractive. They unconsciously feel drawn to certain personality types, physiques, or facial features. That’s evolution at work, trying to help you find an ideal mate to raise a family with.

It would be nice if a precise formula existed that helped explain our attraction to people. But the psychology behind why we desire certain people isn’t that simple.

Many factors play a role in physical and emotional attraction, such as hormones, similar personalities, and even the person’s voice. Dr. Claire Hart, an associate professor of social and personality psychology, explains five significant attraction predictors below.

What Makes People Attractive?

1. Physical Attractiveness.

Not surprisingly, physical attraction plays the most significant role in the initial stages of a relationship. After all, we often judge someone quickly at first, and we naturally feel drawn to specific attributes.

Personality matters too, but evolution guides us to choose visually appealing partners by default. Whether or not we realize it, we pick someone based on their ability to pass desirable genes to offspring.

Therefore, we are attracted to characteristics such as masculine bodies or feminine jawlines. Research shows that men prefer females with softer facial features, such as a small jaw, wide eyes, and high eyebrows. Other studies reveal that men are most attracted to women with a lower waist-to-hip ratio, indicating excellent fitness and fertility.

On the other hand, women may prioritize partners with broad shoulders, a firm grip, and a high level of physical fitness. Also, on average, women tend to feel more attracted to men taller than them.

Generally, people choose partners based on how healthy they perceive them to be. Evolutionarily, the greater the attraction, the more likely your partner will have favorable genes.

2. Proximity Increases Attraction.

Another important yet overlooked aspect of attraction is how often you see someone. Basically, the more you cross paths with a person, the greater your chances of feeling a connection with them. Proximity helps reduce the options for potential mates, according to Hart. And, seeing someone regularly is enough to feel attracted to them.

This makes sense if you consider how we met prospective partners in the past. Before the technological revolution, we could only meet people in person. Most of the time, this happened at work or school, where the pool of potential partners would have been much smaller. In today’s world of online dating, people have become overwhelmed with choices. Therefore, they might prioritize different characteristics than they would by meeting someone in real life.

So, if you want to narrow your options, skip the dating apps and try meeting people the old-fashioned way. By frequenting your favorite coffee shop, for instance, you’re bound to strike up an interesting conversation with a love interest eventually.

3. Similarity, Reciprocity, and Familiarity Inform Attraction.

As they say, birds of a feather flock together, which holds true when it comes to romantic relationships. Our attraction to others increases with similar personalities, beliefs, values, and physical characteristics. We also tend to choose people with similar socioeconomic, cultural, and educational backgrounds. Perhaps that seems a bit egotistical, but evolution also plays a role in this tendency.

A study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences provided evidence for the theory. It found that spouses tend to share some genetic similarities. Other research published in Psychological Science discovered that it is easier to trust people who look similar to us.

Perhaps we feel a stronger attraction to people most like us because it helps validate our values and personalities. Hart says this idea comes from the reciprocity theory, which states that you’re more likely to be accepted by those similar. Therefore, to lower the risk of rejection, we naturally seek out people we perceive as “safe.”

Historical context about physical attraction

Attraction to others also stems from our desire for the familiar. In ancient times, sticking with your tribe kept you safe from threats and helped increase your chances of survival. This same evolutionary tactic may still play a role in our relationships today. Hart says we instinctively pick people who seem predictable and familiar because it reduces the likelihood of conflict.

Humans naturally want to choose the path of least resistance. That means we desire partners that make life easier and more enjoyable. While opposites attract in some cases, people with too many differences may have more disagreements. In general, our attraction increases based on how much we have in common with someone.

However, Hart concludes that the psychology of attraction varies widely depending on many factors. Evolution, upbringing, genetics, environment, and personal preferences play a role in our chosen relationships.

Remember to express gratitude for the person you’ve got and make the most of each moment. We never know what tomorrow brings, so we must live in the present and hold our loved ones close. Attraction deepens with empathy and understanding, and after many years with your partner, it will blossom into a lifelong friendship. You’ll have many ups and downs together, but true love stands the test of time.

Final Thoughts on the Psychology of What People Find Attractive in Potential Partners

Psychologists and social scientists have studied attraction for many years and still haven’t found the answers. It’s a complex topic that doesn’t have a universal formula to measure or understand what makes people attractive. Physical characteristics, similarity, familiarity, and proximity to a love interest increase desire. Hormones and genetic factors also come into play when someone chooses a partner to settle down with.

Psychologists have found that personality matters as much as physical traits regarding attraction. We tend to find attractive people with similar beliefs, values, and attitudes about life. Do you find this to be true about your life partner? Let us know in the comments!

Psychology Explains 6 Reasons People Stay In an Unhappy Marriage

July 14, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

If you’ve ever met someone in an unhappy marriage, you may wonder why they stick around. Or, perhaps you’ve experienced dissatisfaction with married life yourself and know the reasons firsthand. Typically, couples want to honor their marriage vows and feel torn when getting a divorce. Sometimes, leaving a committed relationship can seem worse than the anguish of staying with your partner.

Of course, most people desire a healthy, fulfilling relationship well into their golden years. No one wants an unhappy marriage, but unfortunately, life isn’t always smooth sailing.

Problems and disagreements inevitably arise, and some couples find they aren’t compatible. They may decide to dissolve their marriage or tough it out despite the glaring issues or incompatibilities.

6 Common Reasons People Stay in An Unhappy Marriage

Below, we’ll go over the main reasons people report staying in unsatisfying relationships.

1. Investment of Time.

Many couples decide to remain in an unhappy marriage if they’ve invested many years into the relationship. They probably feel pretty comfortable in the relationship if they’ve been together for a decade or more. They may not want to risk a divorce, even if they don’t necessarily feel happy in the marriage.

Perhaps the couple would rather stay married unhappily than look back at their relationship as wasted time. Called the sunk cost fallacy in the business world, it can also apply to marriage.

This theory states that the more resources and time one invests into something, the more one will continue investing in it. Studies show that couples would stay in an unhappy marriage the more money, time, and effort had been invested in the relationship.

In that case, they might think being single would pose even more problems. They would have to start over from scratch and take on all the adult responsibilities alone. Some people see marriage as the better, safer option, especially if they have much to lose.

2. They Still Have Feelings For Their Partner.

Even if a partner feels stuck in an unhappy marriage, they may still have feelings for their spouse. Those deep feelings don’t just disappear no matter how much the couple has drifted apart. People may also stay in toxic relationships because they don’t want to hurt their partners. They may realize the relationship no longer works but can’t bring themselves to leave.

They can’t live with them but can’t live without them. The saying observes how love is blind; perhaps that universal sentiment keeps many people in unhappy marriages.

3. Financial Concerns.

Living costs a pretty penny today, and divorce only adds more stress to rising prices. Many people can’t afford to get divorced and have no choice but to stay in an unhappy marriage. Divorce costs increase considerably if couples can’t agree on how to split resources. So, they may decide it’s too complicated and time-consuming to end their marriage.

Their partner may have left full-time work to raise children or care for the home. In this case, they would have no resources to start over independently. They might have to earn another degree or take a low-paying job to make ends meet. This puts them at a severe disadvantage in the workforce, especially if they’ve been out of work.

Some studies have found that people might stay in an unhappy marriage for their partner’s sake. For example, if their partner depends on them for financial stability, their chances of filing for divorce decrease. While they no longer feel content with their partner, they can’t bear to see them struggling to survive.

4. They Have Kids Together.

Having kids together makes the prospect of divorce much less appealing. In this case, ending a marriage affects the whole family and can lifelong impact a child’s emotional health. Some people stay together for the kids because they know children need stability to thrive. However, some research shows that children fare better if their parents leave an unhappy marriage.

Divorce does have detrimental impacts on children, but they will heal as time goes on. However, keeping children in a stressful, unstable environment causes even more significant problems for their mental health. In this case, having joint custody of the children would probably benefit everyone equally. But, the couple must decide what’s best for their family.

5. They Fear Backlash From Friends or Family.

A terminated marriage can create tension in even the most tight-knit families, especially if their religion or culture looks down on divorce. Sometimes, people remain in unhappy marriages to avoid backlash from their family or peers.

They may not want to deal with the humiliation or drama of divorce. The couple may also have mutual friends and not want to lose them by breaking up.

In most cases, a failed marriage affects the extended family, and couples usually consider this when discussing divorce. Collectivist cultures may even shun couples who get divorced, making them more likely to remain in unhappy marriages.

However, studies have shown that staying in toxic relationships can reduce well-being even more than being single. In other words, your health should leave dysfunctional relationships, even if your family disagrees.

6. They Believe Things Will Improve.

Finally, people may decide to stay together despite unhappiness if they have hope for the future. Perhaps they’ve convinced themselves that somehow, their partner will change, and they will eventually feel satisfied. They might even ignore any issues, reasoning that they can enjoy the good parts of the marriage instead.

Final Thoughts on Why People Remain in Unhappy Marriages

People stay in dysfunctional relationships for many reasons, usually due to finances, time invested, and fear of change. No matter how toxic the marriage, they may prefer familiarity rather than starting over with someone new. They may have children together and not want to burden them with a divorce.

However, most studies show that couples and children fare better after an unhealthy marriage ends. If couples can’t resolve their differences, it’s usually best for everyone involved to move on amicably.

15 Behaviors an Unloving Partner Displays When They Want to End a Relationship

July 13, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

When your partner is falling out of love, you can usually identify signs that the end of the relationship is near. You’ll notice that they become an unloving partner, although you might not know why at first. Every relationship goes through hard times, but there are things someone wants to end a relationship.

You can do a few things if you notice the signs of an unloving partner. One option is to focus on reconnecting to try and save your relationship. Or, you can choose to move on before things worsen.

Breakups often catch people off guard, but if you know what to look for, you can see it coming. Your partner will drop hints that there are issues, allowing you to prepare for the worst. These signs don’t always mean a breakup is inevitable, but it’ll take work to save the relationship.

When your partner feels unsatisfied in the relationship, it’s best to discuss the situation. You can create a plan together or choose to go your separate ways.

How an Unloving Partner Acts When They’re Ready to End a Relationship

1. An Unloving Partner Can Seem Unhappy All the Time

If your partner seems unhappy, it’s a sign there’s trouble in your relationship. They might not laugh as much as they used to or stop doing things that they once enjoyed with you. It could be a mental health concern, but having an open conversation can help you figure it out.

You can also determine if their unhappiness stems from the relationship by watching how they interact with others. If they are still happy and acting like themselves with others, but their demeanor toward you has changed, don’t ignore it.

2. The Threaten to Break Up with You

If your partner threatens to leave you, the thought has been on their mind. They might say they’ll end the relationship anytime you disagree.

This behavior shows that they are uninvested in the relationship and that it doesn’t mean much to them. Your partner wants you to pay attention and agree with their opinions, showing a desire for control instead of stability.

3. You Aren’t Intimate as Often as Before

A lack of intimacy signifies that your partner might be ready to end the relationship. It could indicate something is wrong if you notice that you aren’t intimate as often. They might replace intimacy with friendly or playful banter to make it seem like everything is okay.

In a healthy relationship, you’ll likely go through periods when you aren’t intimate often. If this is the only sign you recognize in your relationship, it’s probably okay. Paired with other behaviors of an unloving partner and you might want to pay attention.

4. An Unloving Partner Makes You Feel Unappreciated

It’s not a good sign if your partner doesn’t say thank you or show you they appreciate you. You might start wondering why you can’t do anything to make them happy. It’s not something you’re doing wrong, though.

If you feel unappreciated, it could be that your partner is looking for a way out. They deny how great you are so they won’t feel so bad about leaving.

5. They Start Avoiding You

When someone is afraid to tell their partner they want to break up, they might avoid them first. They’ll be dishonest and won’t be direct about how they feel. You might notice that they cancel plans at the last minute or avoid making plans altogether.

People tend to distance themselves when they feel doubtful about a relationship. They’ll make excuses for why they can’t hang out, but the truth is that they’re no longer interested.

6. They Act Like Spending Time with You is a Chore

You should never feel like a chore when you’re with your partner. In a healthy relationship, your partner will enjoy doing things with you and investing in your relationship.

This sign isn’t to say that your partner must spend all their time with you, but they should look forward to it. If your partner views the relationship as a chore, you’ll notice that they actively pull away and grumble about making plans.

7. An Unloving Partner May Keep Secrets or Hide Things

If your partner is being secretive, it could be because they’re ready to end the romance. Sometimes their secrets come from having an affair, but that’s not always the case.

However, if they’re hiding their phone or logging out of social media when you’re around, it’s not a good sign. Sometimes they’ll start hanging out with new people you don’t know and won’t share their plans with you.

8. They Prioritize Everyone Except You

Couples should have friendships separate from their relationship, but they shouldn’t make you feel like you come last. They might spend all their free time with other people and then claim not to have time for you.

If this happens, you can bring the issue up and hope for a change. You’ll know where you stand if your partner still doesn’t make time for you or invite you along for their activities. They will say they’re too busy for you but post pictures with other people, showing that they no longer prioritize you.

9. They Don’t Seem Present When You’re Together

It’s a bad sign if your partner doesn’t seem present when they’re with you. They might seem uninterested in what you have to say, or they’ll seem emotionally distant. You shouldn’t feel you must convince your partner to pay attention.

Your relationship could end when you feel your partner doesn’t notice or care what you’re going through. There will be a disconnect before your partner breaks up with you. This situation can become evident if they’re always on their phone or watching TV.

10. An Unloving Partner Will No Longer Talk About the Future with You

This red flag won’t mean much if you’ve never discussed your future together. However, if you used to talk about and plan for your future together, it’s a bad sign if it stops. Your partner might stop talking about moving in together, going on vacations, or getting married.

If this happens, it shows an unloving partner who doesn’t want to be together long-term. Don’t assume anything without talking to them first, but don’t ignore it.

11. They Criticize You and Never Give Compliments

Your partner shouldn’t constantly criticize or make you feel bad about yourself. If you notice that compliments don’t come as often as they used to, it could indicate an unloving partner. Pay attention to see if they criticize you more than they say nice things.

This sign shows that your partner isn’t treating you well, and you might decide to end things before they make the jump themselves. They sometimes find fault in everything you do, even if they didn’t mind in the past. Sometimes they’ll even criticize things they used to love about you.

12. They Pick Fights Near the End of a Relationship

Every couple argues sometimes, but it shouldn’t become a constant occurrence. When minor disagreements turn into full-on fights, it’s a sign that your partner wants out.

They create issues to have an excuse to end the relationship. Your partner will seem irritable and frequently annoyed, and you’ll feel constant tension.

13. They Don’t Do Things for You Anymore

Relationships require both partners to do nice things for one another. Doing nice things is accessible at the beginning of the relationship when you’re both excited about something new. However, as time goes on, the excellent experiences wane a bit.

If they stop doing nice things altogether, it’s a sign that the romance is ending. They’ll stop planning date nights or make no effort to reconcile after an argument. This lack of kindness can be devastating as it shows you have an unloving partner.

14. They View Happy Memories Negatively

When you have happy memories with your partner, it can hurt if they see them differently. They might make negative comments about memories you think fondly of. It shows they no longer want to see the good in your romance.

Remember that their negative mindset has nothing to do with you or something you did wrong. Instead, it’s your partner’s way of making a clean break by making it seem like there were never happy times.

15. An Unloving Partner Might Stop Communicating

If your partner wants out of the relationship, they’ll stop communicating as often. They’ll ignore your phone calls and text messages and not bother to call back. At first, they might cut back slowly until it becomes clear that they never want to talk anymore.

When you talk to your partner, they won’t share as much as they used to. They’ll leave out details or you wonder what they’re up to when you’re not around. The less they share with you, the more they prepare to leave.

Final Thoughts on Behaviors of an Unloving Partner Who Wants to End a Relationship

It can be hard to accept that you have an unloving partner who wants out of the relationship. However, if you notice soon enough, you can ask them if there’s anything you can do to fix it. If they won’t discuss the situation or make no effort to change, it might be time to walk away.

You deserve someone who makes you feel good, and you shouldn’t have to beg for happiness. There’s someone out there who will cherish you for who you are. Don’t let an unloving partner bring you down when you know how much you’re worth.

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