You’ve probably heard the adage that beauty was only skin deep while growing up. There is a great deal of truth to that saying because many things define your attractiveness. What you see on the outside is only one facet of the person.

There are so many things that you cannot see on the inside, which can make even an ugly duckling look like a radiant beauty. Have you ever been poorly judged by someone because they only take your looks at face value? However, when they learn your personality and how you relate to others, your inner beauty shines to the outside.

You’ve been told that you should never judge a book by its cover, and this statement is true. The cover is just one representation, but you must get to the inside to find the real story. Very few people look like fashion model dolls or have superstar appearances, as it’s just not realistic.

The world is full of average Joes and women who don’t fit into the size two cookie-cutter mold. Thankfully, you don’t need to be anyone other than you for people to see your attractiveness. Everyone has qualities they possess that make them beautiful, but sometimes you got to peel back the layers to discover them.

What Defines Attractiveness?

Numerous things help to define your level of attractiveness. For some, it’s the ability to cook like a Southern Belle, but others are drawn to those who can tell a good joke. You must remember that the color of your eyes or hair is only one part of your story. Here are a few things that people consider when saying someone is desirable.

1. Your Personality

What is a personality? Your personality is made up of distinctive patterns of opinions, thoughts, and manners that make you unique. It’s thought that temperament evolves from within the person and stays constant during their life.

According to the National Institute of Health, your personality has genetic components. So, it’s likely that you have similar demeanors to one or both of your parents.

2. Your Smile

When someone looks at you, do they see a bright smile or a scowl? You can rest assured that no one is going to think someone who is always frowning looks attractive. A smile makes you emit positivity, and it makes others trust you more.

When you smile, you’re breaking down barriers and showing people that you’re a warm and friendly person. Plus, studies conducted by Penn State University show that smiling is infectious. It’s hard to be in the same room with someone beaming and not smile in return.

3. How You Treat Others

How you treat others is always a significant indication of inner beauty. Are you close to your parents or other family members and treat them with respect? Do you go out of your way to open the door for a stranger?

Do you volunteer at soup kitchens and other civic duties throughout your community? Giving back to those older or in need shows that you’re sunny on the inside. Life’s journey is not about taking everything for yourself; it’s about giving back and making this world a better place to live.

A potential partner may find attractiveness in your efforts to help others and give to those less fortunate.

4. Your Intellect

Though there’s a long-standing thought that some people are only interested in the mind, it does add to your appeal. The fine art of communication takes lots of practice, but you can increase this art by conversing about many subjects.

When you read books, engage with your studies, and are always eager to learn more, it’s desirable to others. Someone with intellect, which is a smart cookie, is appealing. There’s nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with someone, and they do not know about the topic.

5. Your Happiness

A smile is one way that someone can see you’re happy, but when you’re genuinely excited, it’s a joy that exudes from you. It’s effortless to tell someone who’s satisfied from someone miserable. A happy person has a warmth about them that seems infectious.

This person can make you feel better even when everything seems to be falling apart. They are the kind of individuals you want to build a life with because they make the world a better place.

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6. Your Eyes

Have you ever heard that the eyes are the window to the soul? Deep inside, you have darkness or light. When you’re right on the inside, your eyes light up and show the radiance of purity.

Looking deep into someone’s eyes tells the truth about their core. Your eyes can be beautiful to others, and it’s not because of a gorgeous color or long lashes either. It’s only because they allow a gaze into the internal makings and show the world a glimpse of your beauty inside.

7. The Way You Carry Yourself

A lady can put on an inexpensive dress and look like a million bucks. Yet, some women can put on a dress that costs thousands of dollars, and it looks like a rag on her. It all depends on how you carry yourself.

When you walk into a room, do you have a commanding presence, or do your tower in the corner and look frumpy? If you had your choice between two dates, would you want the one who has herself together and seems to be in control, or do you want the one that carries the weight of the world on her shoulders and a scowl on her face?

No one wants to be with someone who can’t carry themselves well. Your persona can make others very attracted to you.

8. Your Singing Voice

Think of some of the greatest singers of all time. What was it about them that made the masses flock to concerts to hear them belt out a tune? It wasn’t as much about what was on the outside, but their voice could make them irresistible to others, according to a lively conversation on Quora.

Remember legends like Nat King Cole and his daughter Natalie Cole? They had two of the greatest voices to grace a stage. Their tones were soothing and made you feel warm and fuzzy all over. People would fall in love with them just for their voice, so part of their attractiveness was all about their talent.

9. The Ability to Make Others Feel Their Best

Have you ever met someone, sat down to talk to them, and you felt like you’ve known them your entire life? There’s something special about this person that makes you feel like you could talk all night.

It’s lovely to be warm and compassionate towards others. They don’t judge people for past mistakes, and they’re always encouraging others to put their best foot forward. See, having a gorgeous figure or the right clothes means little if you can’t sit down and engage with a person because they make you feel horrible.

10. Your Sense of Humor

There’s something magical about a person that has a sense of humor. Who can forget legends like Robin Williams? He was a man that could have you in tears with his stand-up acts in a matter of minutes.

Williams knew how to work for the crowd, and people found him infectious. He started his journey as a comedian and ended up doing movies for all ages. Most didn’t know that he was hiding deep pain inside that came from a life of regrets.

Remember the old commercial for deodorants that said you should never let anyone see you sweat? Well, Williams lived by that motto. Even though everything on the inside was a mess, he never let it show on the outside.

People want a life partner that makes mundane tasks like going to the grocery store seem fun. So, your sense of humor is a big part of the overall package that is you.

Things That Aren’t Attractive to Others

Now that you know all the lovely things to others, what about the things that aren’t so alluring? Here is a list of the most significant turn-offs that people avoid.


•Negative self-talk

•Poor hygiene

•Bad manners

•Sloppy dressing

•Overbearing personality

•Those who can’t take constructive criticism

•Hot tempers

•Uncaring and unkind towards others

•Jealous behaviors




•Judgmental nature

•Being constantly late

•Passive-aggressive nature


•Being rude to waitstaff

•Manipulative crying

•Aggressive driving or road rage

•Excessive teasing


Final Thoughts on Attractiveness

You know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While everyone wants to have runway model looks, very few can achieve those results naturally.

Finding an attractive person is about much more than the clothes they wear or the car they drive; it’s about finding someone right on the inside and the out. So don’t get too hung up on living up to that unattainable definition of attractiveness.