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10 Ways to Unlock Your Creativity

March 30, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Most people would describe creativity something to do with creating art when the real definition of creativity is using the imagination or developing original ideas.

Everyone can be creative as long as they give themselves time to think freely and let their imagination take center stage. This is often easier said than done, in a society that promotes the “sameness” in people.

“The true sign of intelligences is not knowledge, but imagination.” ~Albert Einstein

Here are ten ways you can unlock your creativity and break free from the mold.

1 – Think Visually

Nothing speaks to creativity more than visual images. The more color, detail, and movement in our thoughts, the more creative our thoughts become.

Recognize that you think in images and develop those images in your mind. Let’s use a rose as an example. When some say rose, you probably see a rose, right? You don’t see the word, you see the real thing.

Start creating more imagery around it. What color is it? Is it open or a bud? Does it have ridges along the ends of the petals? When you begin to create more details in the images, you think about, your creative mind will grow.

2 – Question Everything

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” – Voltaire

Be curious and seek the whys behind the whats. When you are curious, you stop assuming and start engaging. It is through this kind of engagement that your mind begins to wander, and your creative mind grows.

An experiment at an Amsterdam museum asked patrons to submit questions about the art.

Then they took the most popular questions, answered them, and posted them next to the artwork.

The time people spent looking at the art increased from eight seconds to 30 minutes. They would read a question and the answer, then examine the painting, and they would continue that pattern until they read all the questions.

The questions stimulated curiosity and helped to create a personal relationship with the artwork.

Be curious, ask questions. A lot of questions.

3 – Get Lost

When we stay on our chosen path, we are missing all the experiences that are happening around us. Allow yourself to get lost during your day. Drive a different way home, turn left instead of right on your walk or do something different for lunch.

When you go about the routines of your day, your habitual actions are getting you through the day, not your thoughts or your mind. Getting out of the routine and doing new things, will foster your creative mind and bring you back into the present.

4 – Do More of What Makes You Feel Good

It is probably no surprise that doing things that make you feel good can foster a creative mindset. When you are doing things you don’t like or don’t want to do, it is hard to live up to your full potential because you are so busy doing damage control.

Change the things you can and accept the things you can’t. This approach will give your mind the freedom to think beyond your circumstances.

5 – Simplify Your Life

We are exposed to more information than ever before, and it can be overwhelming. Too much information influences our thoughts and prevents us from thinking creatively. It is hard to find an original idea in the midst of everyone else’s ideas.

Shut down the information train by stepping away and quieting the chaos around you. Find some quiet and let your mind generate ideas naturally.

6 – Take Chances

Humans have the innate ability to take risks. However, societal pressures to conform has made us more riskaverse lately. Michael Ungar, Ph.D., a professor at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia talks about the importance of taking risks and says, “To grow, we need to experience challenges whether we’re 4, 14, or 40.”

When something is difficult or is out of your comfort zone, ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” This question will help you put the real fear into perspective and determine whether the risk is worth the reward.

7 – Slow Down

We live in a fast paced world and society the requires instant gratification. When your day is overscheduled, and your needs are instantly met instantly, you thwart your mind’s creative process. You don’t allow yourself the time just to think.

Schedule downtime and take things more slowly. It is during the downtime that your best ideas will surface. Just think about your time in the shower. Sure you might use it to wake up but once you do, what happens? You just think.

8 – Look Up

If you stand on a corner watching pedestrians as they walk from point A to point B, you will probably notice the majority of them keeping their heads down. You have no idea how much inspiration passes you by because you aren’t looking up.

Creative thinking comes from engagement, interaction, and observation. None of those things happen on their own. Try looking up as you go about your day. Smile at strangers, feel the breeze and notice your surroundings. Look up and watch your creative mind develop through your experiences.

9 – Write the Ending First

If starting is hard, then fast forward to the ending. What solution needs a process and what answers need a question?

It can be hard to perform with a lot of pressure. Being creative on the spur of the moment is never ideal. When you are in the hot seat, and your normal thought processes aren’t working, trying turning the tables at looking at it from the other side.

10 – Move It

Thoughts flow through your mind just like the breath in your body. We sit a lot. We are on our computers, bingewatching on Netflix or texting our friends.

Stop sitting and start doing. Get your body moving because it will increase your energy and your creativity.

No matter what actions you begin to do to unlock your creative mind, the goal is to start trying new things and see how they make you feel. Because the best way to unlock your creativity is to feel good about who you are and where you are going.

7 Signs You May Actually Be A Pessimist (And How to Fix It)

March 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~ Winston Churchill

Have you ever thought there was a chance that you’re secretly a pessimist under the surface of your conscious thoughts? Thinking the worst of everything is a pessimist’s way of feeling protected from disappointment when things go wrong. The good news is, you can always keep that feeling of protection with you, and you don’t have to be a pessimist to do it.

These signs will reveal habits that lean you more towards being a pessimist, and share tips on how to pick up a new, half-full perspective. It may even show you that the optimist in you truly shines through…

Here are 7 Signs You May Actually Be a Pessimist:

1 – You Discredit Victory

It is no surprise that the biggest difference between optimists and pessimists is their view of the world. When something good happens, the optimist will take credit, knowing they are in control of their actions and are responsible for the good things in their life. When something good happens to a pessimist, however, they consider it a coincidence. They don’t necessarily correlate their actions and efforts to the result.

Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., author of Learned Optimism and a pioneer of positive psychology, discovered that how a person explains their small successes directly correlates to their overall success in life. Expecting positive outcomes from your actions garners better than anticipated results, while anticipating negative outcomes or explaining positive outcomes as a fluke, will hinder progress.

The Fix:

Learn from your successes and your failures because there are lessons in both – and be grateful for them all. Find a direct correlation between your actions and continue to do the ones that are working and stop doing the ones that aren’t.

2 – You Give Up Early

Pessimists tend to give up and move on when challenged while optimists keep trying to solve the problems. In one study, optimists and pessimists were tasked with solving an anagram, and it resulted in the optimists working on the solution for 50 to 100% longer.

Persistence is often an indicator of one’s success. The willingness to continue to solve challenges in the face of adversity can mean more success in school, better jobs, healthier bodies, and happier families.

The Fix:

Try the “fake it to you make it” approach and don’t give up at the first sign of trouble. When you feel like giving up, set a goal to keep going for one more day. Then try something new and see how you feel.

3 – You Find it Difficult to Forgive

A pessimist has a hard time forgiving. Instead, they dwell on problems, holds grudges and refuse to let things go. Not only does a pessimist give up easily, but he gives up in his relationships too.

Holding onto the perceived wrongs of another person gives a pessimist the feeling of control. On the other hand, an optimist feels the need to come to an agreement over differences and feels less in control in situations of unrest.

The Fix:

Stop holding on and let go of your grudges. Have difficult conversations, understand the other person’s perspective, and forgive. Forgiveness allows you to move forward without the need to rehash old grievances.

4 – You Expect Bad News

You might have heard “expect the worst but hope for the best.” Well, the pessimist expects the worst and doesn’t hope at all. It is hardly surprising to a pessimist when he gets passed over for a promotion or when a deal falls through.

The optimist is successful because they keep their hopes up, work hard and continue to expect good things to happen – even in the face of disappointing news.

The Fix:

Instead of expecting the worst, trying hoping for the best. Allow yourself to feel disappointment and use it as motivation to move forward.

5 – You Display Selfish Behavior

The pessimist rarely thinks of others and focuses on their interests and challenges.

A pessimist is all about the wrongs they suffer at the hands of others while an optimist accepts responsibility for their part and shares the credit.

It is hard to be on a team with a pessimist because they are constantly looking at how the actions will benefit or hurt them and do not look at the bigger picture. An optimist understands that a successful team will be a positive experience for everyone. Even if they disagree with an action, the overall success of the team is more important.

The Fix:

Start doing random acts of kindness for family, friends, and colleagues without any agenda. Make the act all about them and leave your feelings out of it.

6 – You Are Overly Suspicious of People

Pessimistic people have a hard time believing the good that happens to others happens because of the other person’s actions. Instead, they choose to believe that the success of others happens because of their connections or some shady dealings.

This is just the pessimist’s way of explaining why they don’t see the same success in their lives.

The Fix: Instead of discounting someone’s success, try asking them about it. Look for strategies that you can implement to help you achieve your goals.

7 – You Are Jealous of Other People’s Success

Very similar to being suspicious, pessimists are also jealous of other people’s success. It is easy to criticize or discount other people’s happy life as not real or even made up.

It is a very competitive world, and it is easy to be jealous of someone else’s life especially when posted all over social media.

In fact, according to one study, there is a direct correlation of jealousy to the amount of time spent on social media.

The Fix:

Stop believing everything you read and start looking at what makes you happy in your life. Accept other people’s lives for what it is – their life, and start creating a happy life.

So are you a pessimist? If you are, then there is good news. Dr. Suzanne Segerstrom, Ph.D., an optimism researcher at the University of Kentucky and author of Breaking Murphy’s Law, says that it is not hard to move from pessimism to optimism. It only takes small actions, and you can begin with the suggestions included here. Of course, it all starts with believing that a good outcome is within reach.

8 Behaviors Mentally Strong People Avoid

March 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

There are people out there that exhibit behavior that sucks the energy and life out of us with their excessive negativity, gossip, and selfishness. Relationships should serve both parties equally, and when it doesn’t, it might be time to reevaluate the need for that particular relationship in your life.

Here are 8 toxic behaviors mentally strong people never tolerate.

1 – Excessive Negativity

When you are working on creating a better life, the first thing to make an impact is a change in our thoughts. Moving from negative thought patterns to thoughts that serve us is difficult enough without being surrounded by excessive negativity.

It isn’t perfect positive thought you are after with your friends, but more the ability for your friends to recognize and move through negative thought. Being surrounded by someone who constantly expresses negative thoughts is disruptive to your personal growth.

2 – Gossip

Gossip weakens relationships. Gossip is a conversation about other people and is usually malicious in intent. Moreover, gossip happens when your relationship isn’t strong or based on meaningful connections.

Make your relationships about you and the other person and avoid bringing other people into it. Pay attention to how your conversations make you feel. Chances are if you are gossiping, you won’t like the feeling.

3 – Selfish Behaviors

If you start to examine your most successful and least successful relationships, chances are a common theme found in your least successful ones would be selfishness. Strong relationships are ones that serve both parties and do not focus on one person over the other.

It can be difficult to realize selfish behavior exists, especially when you feel like your partner is in crisis or needs your help. Both people in the relationship should be able to express their needs. You should never tolerate a relationship with someone that makes you feel bad for making your needs known.

4 – Lack of Compassion

Life is hard – very, very hard. There is no need to make it harder by surrounding yourself with people who are not kind. And it is more than just being kind to you, it’s being kind to everyone.

Compassion is about general kindness and concern for all people, the people that matter to us and those we don’t even know. Ask yourself this, “Do you really want to surround yourself with people who have no concern for the suffering of others?”

5 – Stubbornness

There is a little streak of stubbornness in all of us. And a little of it is a good thing, it can help us persevere and drive us to complete goals.

It is the refusal to compromise, see another point of view and the unwillingness to change; that is detrimental to a relationship. It’s important to recognize that the relationship isn’t serving you if you are doing all the compromising.

6 – Superficial Judgements

It is one thing to look at a situation and process things based on what is happening. Then taking those perceptions and trying to make sense of them. It is a whole different thing to process what is happening based on how we think they should be.

When other people try to define actions and experiences based on their hopes for what they want, they are judging in a way that is unhealthy to us, to them and those around us.

What’s more, superficial judgments can often lead to gossip, which we already know is a behavior that doesn’t serve a relationship.

7 – Manipulative Actions

It is the natural tendency to want to think the best of people, but it is important to be aware that there are people that will do anything to get what they want. It never feels good to be manipulated, and you might not even be aware that it is happening.

If someone is using guilt, selective memories, excessive compliments or even bullying tactics to get something they want, chances are they are trying to manipulate you. Stay true to what you know is right and don’t let someone else’s manipulative tactics influence you.

8 – Playing the Victim

When someone plays the role of victim, it is because they do not want to take responsibility for their actions. Accepting that life is less than perfect and accepting our role in the decisions we make is an important part of being happy.

Once a victim, always a victim and when we surround ourselves with victims chances are we will become one too. It’s natural to want to explain away a failed attempt at something, and it is up to us to hold the people around us, and ourselves, accountable and challenge victim thoughts.

We make the choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, to gossip, play the victim or judge others. We also make the choice to stay in relationships only with people that exhibit the right kind of behaviors. If you are paying attention to how your relationships make you feel, more than likely you will be able to determine if the relationship is serving you.

What toxic behaviors have you stopped allowing in your life? Share in the discussion below:

5 Ways to Overcome Any Addiction

March 28, 2015 by Power of Positivity

People can fall victim to many types of addiction. Some of the most prevalent ones are drugs and alcohol, food, gambling if not done with trusted online casinos for USA players, social media and television, and sex. Addicts of any behavior, activity, or substance just want to experience something that makes them feel pleasure in order to escape reality. Moreover, if you’re pregnant and on drugs, you need help. As a new parent, you understand the devastating impact drug addiction will have on your future and the baby’s. There are Pregnant Addiction solutions that are readily available to help you. You may visit your local clinic to learn more on this.

After feeling that “high” the first time, the person becomes hooked due to the release of dopamine into the part of the brain that registers pleasure. That center also plays a role in learning and memory. So, compulsive behavior starts when the brain responds to a gratifying substance or activity by releasing large amounts of dopamine. Then the reward circuit in the brain stores these memories of satisfaction, making you crave more.

While it may seem like addiction happens whether you want it to or not, you can actually overcome compulsive behavior using these simple, yet powerful methods.

Here are 5 Healthy Ways to Overcome Addiction

1 – Seek Alternative Sources of Pleasure

You can still experience bliss in life without having to consume hallucinogens or alcohol, betting all your money at the casino, or watching mind-numbing programs on TV. Everyone wants to feel good. Unfortunately, mass media and societal norms encourage unhealthy ways of attaining pleasure. Because of social engineering, many people are convinced that mind-altering substances, lustful relationships, material items, food, and technological gadgets will pave the way to a higher state of existence.

However, the brain receptors eventually build a tolerance to these stimuli as they become overwhelmed. Therefore, they release less and less dopamine over time. Therefore, you have to ingest more of the substance, spend even more money, or seek out more unfulfilling, shallow relationships to release the same amount of dopamine. The brain then becomes conditioned to receive these rewards over and over again, and the cravings get harder to handle.

In order to truly overcome an addiction, you need to reflect deeply on your life and figure out why you choose harmful substances and behaviors to fill the emptiness. Start replacing destructive practices with more wholesome activities or foods, like exercising and consuming more fruits and vegetables. Fill your life with a wide variety of fun, engaging activities that will make you feel satisfied and happy so that you don’t resort to quick fixes to achieve the same goal.

Most people seek outlets because they feel stuck and unhappy with their current situation, so getting active and moving your mind and body will help you feel invigorated and in control of your life. To master addiction, you need to remember that nothing outside yourself can ever match the same satisfaction you can get by fully utilizing the tools you already have within.

2 – Harness Your Creativity

Here is one of the main benefits of drawing, playing music, writing, dancing, and other art forms. You can do any of them without suffering from adverse side effects that drugs, alcohol, and processed foods come with. In life, we all seek spiritual enlightenment either intentionally or unknowingly, and addicts of any kind really just want to experience this higher state of being.

By getting reconnected with your creative side, you will enter a zone where everything else around you seems to dissipate as you transcend your current reality and make your way into one where life seems easier and more enjoyable. Must musicians and artists will tell you that they couldn’t imagine life without their art form because it feels like an escape to them.

Find something healthy in the realm of art that you really take an interest in, and use that as your source of pleasure when you feel a craving coming on for anything that will cause you more harm than good.

3 – Practice Meditation

Meditation can help you overcome the duality you face each day in your quest to kick bad habits to the curb and adopt better ones. This ancient practice will allow you to silently observe your behavior. Plus, it can show you that bad and good don’t really exist. In fact, it’s all just energy expressed in different forms. You might struggle with addiction now. However, you can start living more effortlessly by turning your mind off for a while and simply being. Don’t worry about fighting off demons and forcing yourself to change overnight. Instead, have patience with yourself and the universe to guide you. Meditation will also invite you into a world where you don’t have to seek out anything to make you happy. That’s because happiness is just a state of being.

Meditation is essentially a way of traveling to other worlds and helping you achieve enlightenment in the most natural way possible – without drugs or other earthly addictions. It helps you build strength and recognize the boundless potential you have as a spiritual being having a temporary human experience.

4 – Distance Yourself from People Who Encourage Addictions

If you want to eliminate drugs and alcohol from your life, don’t hang out at bars with former drinking buddies. Nor should you surround yourself with drug abusers.

Instead, find people who value healthy lifestyles and more positive habits, like exercising, playing music, eating nourishing foods, and following their passions in life. Your current friends may not understand why you can’t include them in your life anymore, but you have to do whatever will help you break free of harmful habits.

Ultimately, you get to choose your own friends. So make sure you surround yourself with uplifting people who have your best interest at heart.

5 – Believe in Yourself

It might seem obvious, but many people forget to actually have faith in their ability to overcome obstacles. They admit defeat before they even try. Thus, they believe that they have no way out of their current mindset or situation. In order to beat addictions, you have to first trust in yourself that you can indeed win the battle. You have to make a pact with yourself that you will never give up on you. After all, you are your own master, so you get to decide what kind of person you want to become. You CAN live a healthier life and leave self-harming addictions in the past; you just have to believe that you can get there, one step at a time.

BONUS TIP: Practice self-control

One of the most important ingredients in overcoming addiction of any kind is to simply know when enough is enough. Knowing where to set healthy boundaries for yourself will keep your own conscious mind at the steering wheel, and provide you with a more balanced life overall.

Whether you are hooked on social media, food, or alcohol, you place yourself at risk. So draw a line in the proverbial sand. And soon, you’ll begin to draw a picture of what you truly want in your life. You deserve to be in control. You ARE enough.

What tips and advice can you add to help someone overcome addiction? Share in the discussion below.

5 Signs Your Intuition is Being Blocked

March 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Otherwise known as our “sixth sense,” intuition does, in fact, play a powerful role in our daily lives, whether we know it or not. Do you ever get a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach about something and decide not to go through with something? That feeling is actually your intuition kicking in to warn you of upcoming dangers.

On the flip side, you use this same sense for positive benefits. An example could be when you hear about an opportunity for a career move. And you just know you should apply for it based on a hunch.

According to Psychology Today, many studies try to prove the existence of this elusive sixth sense. One included an independent experiment carried out by an engineer and two psychologists spread out around the globe. As one person, the sender, directed emotional thoughts toward a receiver located thousands of miles away, they observed substantial variations in the receiver’s finger blood volume. This indicates that on a subconscious level, the receiver felt the message entering his or her field of consciousness, and his/her body responded to the stimuli accordingly.

We have amazing capabilities as human beings. In fact, our capabilities exceed what we learned in school and mainstream media. But often, we have blockages in our bodies or minds that prevent us from experiencing the phenomenon of intuition.

Here are 5 factors that can inhibit your intuition:

1. You let the logical mind control your thoughts and actions.

The greatest adversary of intuition, logic can impede on your ability to feel things instinctually and bar access to your highest self. We’ve been conditioned most of our lives to think in a linear fashion, which stifles creativity and a deeper connection to ourselves and the world around us. People have taught us that knowledge exists in textbooks, not within our own minds. In school, you are taught what to think, not how to think. More importantly, the average curriculum doesn’t delve into esoteric topics such as how to use your intuition, and how to decode your feelings. Analytical thinking can help us solve problems, but it also distances us from using what we already intuitively know to navigate life’s circumstances.

Intuition often doesn’t make sense, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t right. Go with your gut instinct, not what your mind tries to persuade you to believe.

2. Negative events keep happening in your life.

If you haven’t been going within and paying attention to any signs the universe might send to you, you might make decisions that don’t really serve your best interest. Many people operate on autopilot and have no idea how much better their lives could be if they just started to become more aware of themselves and their surroundings. Take some time each day to meditate, journal, get some fresh air, do yoga, or anything else that brings you into the present moment and allows you to access your creativity. You will miss important messages by hurrying through your life each day, so slow down and live more consciously to stay connected to your intuition.

3 You live too much in your ego

Constantly comparing yourself to others, belittling yourself, worrying too much, and needing to compete with others to validate your self-worth all point to signs that you have lost touch with your intuition. The ego wants to maintain control of your life, and will keep you on lockdown unless you learn to live more from your heart instead. Meditation helps greatly in dissolving the ego, because you will realize that the self doesn’t really exist, only your awareness does. The ego represents the mind, while the true self signifies the heart. Since intuition is based off of feelings rather than logical thought, you need to silence the chatter of your mind so that you can flow through life effortlessly rather than force your way through it with the domineering ego.

4. You put too much weight in what others think.

You can’t live intuitively if you constantly seek approval from others – if you base your life solely around other people’s opinions, you will never live authentically. Your intuition knows best, so don’t waste too much energy on getting others who don’t share your views to see things eye to eye with you. They may never agree with how you live, so don’t bother persuading them to. Feel confident enough in your own decisions that you don’t even need others to validate your choices. It takes some practice, but you have your own internal guidance system directing you every day; you just have to allow your own inner voice to speak louder than those of everyone around you.

5. You feel disconnected from yourself and your surroundings.

As your intuition becomes more powerful, you will harness deeper relationships with yourself and others, and you will have more empathy for all life on Earth. You will realize that you have the potential to impact this world in a unique way, and that you no longer need to rely on anything outside yourself to thrive on this planet. If you don’t currently feel this way, don’t get discouraged. Simply relax your mind and let the wisdom already within you come to the surface. The fast-paced world we live in can distract us from our true nature very easily, so make sure you unplug from the matrix every once in a while and connect to the vast knowledge of the higher realms.

We all have an innate ability to use our intuition to master our lives, but it takes some effort to reconnect with our sixth sense in the unnatural world we live in. If you want to start living a more intentional, happy life, make sure you meditate often, live from your heart, and trust your instincts above all else.

5 Ways to Stop Being Someone’s Doormat, According to Psychology

March 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Psychologist Harriet Braiker calls approval-seeking behavior “the disease to please” because it’s just another form of addiction. If you allow people to walk all over you, you have essentially become a doormat because you have put their needs above your own.

However, this type of compulsive behavior can take a serious toll on your mental and physical health. Julie Exline, a licensed psychologist, says that sociotropy, or people-pleasing, can even lead to depression because you ignore your own needs to accommodate other’s desires.

If you have trouble getting rid of these deep-seated tendencies to please other people at any cost, use the following tips to give you some guidance.

Here are 5 Ways to Stop Being Someone’s Doormat:

1. Assert yourself more.

People pleasing behavior begins in childhood, when parents praise a child for obeying them but discourage him or her from asserting themselves, according to Jay Earley, author of Finding Your Life Purpose. Impressionable children perceive this as a threat, because they believe that in order to feel loved, they must please others and do as they’re told. Otherwise, they will be shunned and scolded for realizing their own needs have not been met by blindly following others orders.

To break this cycle, simply start to voice your own needs more often. If friends want you meet up with them after you’ve had a long, tiring workweek, tell them you need some time to rest but that you’ll catch up with them soon. You can still be polite without being a total doormat. Indeed, there IS a middle ground. Good friends will understand and not give you a hard time about it; if they do, then you should consider finding a different group of friends.

You have to start thinking of your own needs, because otherwise, who will? Remember, other people’s reactions have nothing to do with you, so don’t take responsibility for them. You should never have to bend over backwards to please others at the expense of your own well-being.

2. Practice saying ‘no.’

People pleasers never want to say no in fear of losing or disappointing the other person. Again, this belief often stems from childhood when the parents reinforced compliance but reprimanded the child when he or she didn’t listen to authority. Regardless of what you’ve been raised to think, saying yes to everyone and everything will only leave you exhausted, stressed, and unfulfilled. If you use all your time to tend to the needs of others, when will you have time to cater to your own requirements? You won’t.

You matter just as much as other people around you, so don’t fall victim to self-sacrificing behavior just to avoid ruffling other people’s feathers. Notice how it feels to finally stand up for yourself, even if the other person seems annoyed or outraged at your response – you will likely feel a huge weight drop off your shoulders and even gain confidence from your newfound decisiveness. Agreeing to everything someone asks of you will leave you overworked, worn out, and full of resentment.

“No” doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone else’s wishes – it just means you value yourself and others enough to be honest about what you can and can’t handle.

3. Reflect on why you feel the need to please others.

Maybe you need to go deep within and get rid of old skeletons in your closet that still haunt you from your childhood. Only you can detach yourself from heavy history, so do what needs to get done in order to move on and live a balanced, healthy life. Realize that just because your parents raised you to act a certain way doesn’t mean you have to comply now.

While it can be difficult to discard heavily ingrained beliefs, taking that first step and reflecting on why you behave in certain ways will help you lift that heavy fog and see yourself clearly.

Remember that you determine your relationship with other people, so if you never stand up for yourself, they will assume that they can get whatever they want out of you at no cost. While this isn’t entirely your fault, you can prevent this from happening in the future by developing your self-worth and casting out your deep-rooted demons.

4. Think before you speak.

Anytime someone asks you for something or wants your opinion, don’t blurt out an answer just to appease them. Actually let the words sink in and listen to the person thoroughly before you offer a response. If someone asks you for a commitment on the spot, tell them you will check your calendar and get back with them. This way, you can see if you really have time to meet their request or not.

In the same way, if someone wants your opinion about an important subject, say what you really think, not just what they want to hear. People will actually respect you more for your transparency rather than just robotically agreeing with their every thought.

You have a voice for a reason – use it to express your honest thoughts no matter what others may think. You don’t have to babysit other’s emotions; they must take ownership of their own thoughts and feelings.

5. Practice self-love.

People pleasers often have very low self-esteem, and become addicted to fulfilling other’s desires to make themselves feel better. In reality, acting as a doormat for others is selfish, because you use others to boost your own self-worth. You should want to help others because it’s the right thing to do, not to bolster your self-esteem. To remedy this, make sure you cultivate love within yourself so that you will attract loving, supportive people into your life who won’t try to take advantage of your kindness. Love yourself now, as you are at this moment, and your self-worth will slowly increase as you shed negative thoughts about yourself. Then, you can stop being a doormat!

How to Keep Your Day Free From Fear and Anxiety

March 26, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Every emotion we feel is essentially just unreleased or unused energy, so we have to learn how to use our energy in the most efficient way. Before modern times, fear helped us to know when a predator was approaching and initiated the fight or flight response in order to propel us into taking action. Due to the influences of modern times, this natural instinct of anxiety sometimes kicks into gear in inappropriate circumstances.

To keep your fear responses in check and maintain your cool throughout the day, read on for some helpful tips about effectively managing fear and anxiety.

Here are 10 Ways to Keep Your Day Free From Fear and Anxiety

1. Ask yourself why you feel afraid.

Is there something in your immediate environment that will cause harm to you or others, or warrant a strong reaction from you? Anytime you feel anxious, you need to check with yourself whether the source of the fear actually exists, or if it’s just in your head. The danger is very real, but fear doesn’t really serve our best interest.

Try to see your surroundings as they are rather than let your mind influence what your eyes perceive.

2. Breathe deeply.

When we truly feel in danger, our hearts race due to extra blood being pumped throughout our body, and this puts an enormous strain on us as a result. Our bodies make adrenaline for one purpose only: to prepare us for sudden action in the presence of a hazard. If you don’t encounter any direct threats, the adrenal glands quickly stop producing this hormone, and your body goes back to its normal levels of adrenaline.

As you can imagine, this takes up a lot of energy and makes us feel exhausted afterward, so try not to put your body through all of that stress. If you feel a panic attack or any sort of anxiety coming on, stop it in its tracks by taking a few controlled, slow breaths. That will automatically make you feel more relaxed and scare off any fear you might have felt.

3. Get outside.

Just feeling the rush of fresh air against your skin and getting some sunlight will immediately lower your blood pressure and slow down your heart rate. Walk around barefoot in the grass if you can – grounding helps relieve anxiety and stress because it strengthens your root chakra, making you feel secure and balanced. Getting in touch with nature can help you stay in the present moment and forget about all the worries that your mind likes to mull over.

4. Move your body.

All of that energy needs somewhere to go, and what better way to release it than by making your body sweat and improving your health. Remember that fear and anxiety carry heavy energy along with them, and you can counter that by making your energy lighter through exercise. Do something you love so that it doesn’t feel like boot camp, but above all make sure you incorporate exercise into your daily routine somehow – exercise is still one of the best scientifically proven ways to alleviate anxiety.

5. Listen to calming music.

If you feel anxiety coming on at work or in a public place, put in your headphones and turn on music that puts your nerves at ease for a little while. As humans, we have the gift of being able to absorb energies, so if you expose yourself to positive, relaxing music, you will start to emit those energies as well. Plus, music takes you away from whatever you’re dealing with in the present moment, and allows you to decompress and recharge your batteries.

6. Work through the fear.

Naturally, we want to run away from whatever makes us afraid, but that doesn’t allow us to deal with the underlying cause of the fear. By ducking out of the situation that made you anxious, you only make the fear grow more powerful, and it will keep rearing its ugly head until you face it. So, instead of letting the fear get the best of you, remind yourself that it doesn’t really exist, and remember that you have ultimate sovereignty over your emotions. If you tell fear that you no longer fear it, it will slowly melt away when it realizes that it can’t control you anymore.

7. Eliminate added stress.

If something in your life continually causes you undue stress, you should evaluate what you can remove in order to maintain your mental stability. You can work through fear if you can’t change the circumstances of the situation, but sometimes, discarding stress makes more sense if you don’t enjoy something about your life (i.e. your job, where you live, financial burdens).

If finances concern you, consider adopting a minimalist lifestyle – keep in mind that once you own a lot of stuff, the stuff ends up owning you since you have the burden of paying back the debts to have those material goods, plus the added liability of maintaining the items.

8. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

Oftentimes, others can dissect our emotions and give us an outside opinion about whether we really should feel afraid of something or not. Getting a fresh perspective might also shift your own viewpoint and allow the stress to leave your body by releasing any pent up emotions. Everyone needs some sort of outlet for their feelings, so don’t hesitate to call upon a loved one or dear friend for support.

9. Celebrate your life.

Take a few minutes out of your day to do a happy dance about everything you’ve been blessed within your life. Notice how any fear or anxiety melts away when you give more attention to what you love rather than what you feel stressed or fearful about.

10. Focus on the reality you DO want.

If you feel anxious or afraid, pay attention to your thoughts. Most likely, your dominant thinking patterns revolve around things you don’t like or what you want to change about your current reality. By continually mulling over what you don’t want, you will only see more of the same. Instead, shift your thinking into what you actually do want to see so that your surroundings become more cheerful, safe, and less threatening to you.

5 Ways to Manage Anger

March 25, 2015 by Power of Positivity

When your blood starts to boil in anger because of some distressing event or something someone said, how do you usually react? Do you yell at whoever made you angry? Throw things against the wall? Get in your car and speed away to avoid the situation?

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you feel that your anger gets the best of you far too often, look into these peaceful techniques that will help you stay in control every time you feel your fuse running short.

Here are 5 Peaceful Ways to Manage Anger

1. Practice abdominal breathing.

According to Harvard Medical School, shallow breathing from the chest makes you feel short of breath which can make it harder to manage anger, as it increases tension and anxiety. If we breathe deeply from the diaphragm the body and mind start to relax.

You will probably have tightly clenched fists, rapid, shallow breaths, a knot in your stomach, tension in your muscles, and a swift heart rate. Most people would agree that this doesn’t feel good within their body, and want to relieve the stress they feel somehow. One easy way to do this without hurting yourself or others is to simply breathe. This will quickly diffuse the tension and make you feel centered and calm once again.

Each time you feel a bout of rage coming on, take some deep breaths all the way down into your belly, hold them for a second or two each time, and then release slowly through your nose. In order for you to gain control of your emotions, you need to stay in tune with your body and notice how you feel inside every time you get angry.

2. Regain your composure, and talk out your feelings.

Don’t beat yourself up for feeling angry; it happens to the best of us and shouldn’t be looked at in a negative light. However, letting the anger cloud your better judgment and react in a way that hurts yourself or others will always have an unfavorable outcome. If someone says or does something to trigger your anger, walk away from the situation if you have to in order to avoid unnecessarily lashing out at the person. Don’t ever let others control your emotions; remember that only you can govern your feelings and that you can take ownership of your reactions.

Once you feel calm enough, approach the person who made you angry and ask if you can peacefully discuss your feelings with them. If you go up to people in an approachable manner rather than meeting them with hostility, they will be much more likely to listen to your side of the story. Also, think of how you would want someone to talk to you – you probably wouldn’t respond very well to someone cursing you out or berating you for your words or actions. Bear this in mind when hashing things out with someone. Things will go much more smoothly this way.

3. Visualize something that makes you happy.

One surefire way to counteract the anger is to put an image in your mind of something that instantly brings you joy. Anytime you feel a negative emotion, imagine your family or friends there with you, or reminisce about a happy memory, such as seeing your favorite band in concert or going on a cross-country road trip.

Take your mind on a voyage far away from the incident that evoked anger within you, and replace it temporarily with more cheerful thoughts and memories. Then, when you come back to the disconcerting situation, you will have a much clearer, stable mindset to handle your emotions and think of solutions to the problem at hand.

4. Avoid criticizing or placing blame on others.

When you call other people out for what they did wrong, they will immediately close up and get defensive. Stick with ‘I’ statements instead, such as “I’m upset that you made plans without including me,” rather than, “You never invite me anywhere with you.” By accusing people directly, you will find that the conversation quickly turns into a battle of the egos rather than a rational, mature discussion of feelings.

Talk about how you feel without holding other people responsible for your emotions. Indeed, they will have more understanding and probably admit to their mistakes if you don’t come off too aggressively.

5. Find humor in the situation.

Zoom out for a second and remember how short this life really is – do you want to spend it taking things too seriously and overreacting when things don’t go your way? Lighten up a bit and remind yourself that people make mistakes; everyone is just trying to do the best they can. At the end of the day, having the ability to laugh at the universe when it sends you a curveball can save you a lot of unnecessary stress and wasted emotions.

Maybe your husband works in construction and constantly tracks dirt and debris throughout the house. Instead of yelling at him and getting angry, bring your sense of humor into the situation by telling him he has to earn his dinner tonight by cleaning the house spotless. This way, you both can hopefully laugh about it and come up with a solution instead of wasting valuable energy arguing.

Which one of these anger management tips could you benefit from most? Which ones could you add to the list? Share in the discussion below!

6 Things That Trap Us in Fear (And How to Overcome Them)

March 25, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield

Fear: the one thing that holds humans back the most in life..and it doesn’t even truly exist.

Let that sink in for a moment. How many times have you opted out of new experiences because fear came knocking at your door once again? Fear seems very tangible sometimes, but our powerful minds often create elaborate stories that don’t ever play out in real life.

If you never push past that fear, you will live out your days painfully wondering what you could have discovered by simply taking a chance. Most people have regrets at the end of their lives, so if you want to live fully while you have the chance, use these tips to discover your courage and put fear to rest once and for all.

Here are 6 Things That Trap Us in Fear (And How to Get Un-Stuck)

1. You don’t know what you’re truly afraid of.

After living on this planet for a while, fear tends to build up in our bodies like water in a dry creekbed following several intense rainstorms. Eventually, that fear overflows, drowning us and everyone around us in a paralyzing state of panic. However, just as water recedes after a bad storm, your fear will diminish if you dig deep to find the source of it and give it someplace else to exist besides within you. In other words, you need to figure out what you fear, acknowledge those feelings, and then let them move on, flowing freely as new energy in a different form.

Everything is energy, and if you let go of things weighing you down, you set that energy free to manifest as a (hopefully) more positive outcome somewhere else. It often helps to write down your fears and determine if these scenarios could really happen or not. By writing them down, you can see on paper whether it makes sense to worry about these issues. Oftentimes, you will see that your worries only use up valuable energy; you can then release your fears once you’ve seen what they look like and how harmless they really are.

2. You keep the fear bottled up inside you.

If something puts us in a state of unease, we often hide it from others in fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood. People tend to tuck any negative emotions under the rug to deal with later, but this can be extremely detrimental. The burden will only grow heavier as time wears on, so make sure to deal with any anxiety you feel now before it becomes unbearable. Talk to someone you love and trust if you feel overwhelmed or don’t know how to handle the fear yourself – don’t feel ashamed in voicing your struggles; people who really care about you will feel more than happy to help you.

3. You focus too much on the problems, and not enough on the problem-solving

When you give all your attention to what you feel afraid of, you will only manifest more negative events in your life. Remember, energy flows where attention goes, so keep this in mind as you work through any blockages you might have. By putting all your energy into what will happen by overcoming the fear rather than how badly you the fear makes you feel, you can shift your perspective and see opportunities where you once saw obstacles.

Just think of what kind of person you can become when you turn fear into fortitude, and use that as your incentive to keep going.

4. You let your past experiences dictate your present and future.

How many times do you have recollections of the past and believe that these events determine your life today? By living in the past, you WILL actually recreate those events because all of your energy is focused on those negative occurrences. Remember that your past will only repeat itself if you dwell on the negatives experiences rather than using those as learning tools to better your current reality.

Nothing is permanent unless you allow it to be, so commit to creating a new future by coming to terms with your past and learning from those experiences, rather than allowing them to control you today.

5. You don’t acknowledge the fear.

Ironically, if you pretend the fear doesn’t exist, it will only become stronger. Denial is dangerous, because people try to distract themselves from their feelings or numb them somehow (often with drugs or alcohol) until they forget about them altogether. However, until you have addressed your feelings, they will only keep returning and become more difficult to manage each time.

Accept that you feel afraid, but don’t identify with that feeling. Instead, shift into a state of awareness where you just observe your body and mind without judgment. This makes the feeling less palpable, and the fear will slowly diminish once you have detached yourself from your mind and moved into your heart.

6. You fall victim to analysis paralysis.

This popular phrase simply means to become so baffled by what path to take that you don’t take any at all, feeling paralyzed with inaction. In order to overcome your fear, you need to break it down into smaller steps so it doesn’t seem like an enormous, impossible task. Write down on paper exactly how you can conquer your fears, and number each step so you have a clear outline of what to do. You can even set dates for each one to hold you accountable for your actions.

Whatever you do, just make sure to start in some direction rather than becoming wracked with fear. By building momentum, you will restore your confidence and defeat the big, ugly monster of fear one step at a time.

If you’re ready to get out of the fear trap, make this declaration in the comments below: I am healing on both the inside and the outside as I take on stronger, more positive belief systems.

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