[dropcap]I[/dropcap]t’s the anticipation of a negative result around something that drives many of our fears. When we engage in fear-based thoughts, we become anxious, nervous and even depressed. It just takes some effort and self-awareness in order to tame our fears.
Here are seven things you don’t have to fear anymore (and how you can overcome them)
Fear of Failure
Of course, we all want to succeed but chances are you will fail, more than once before you end up finding success. Fear of failure comes from not realizing that failure gives us our greatest lessons. Taking chances and trying new things is how we grow as humans, and it is because we are afraid of making fools of ourselves that we hesitate to take chances.
Realize the only one thinking you are making a fool of yourself – is you. Most likely, people are watching you because they are in awe of your bravery.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~Thomas A. Edison
Fear of Success
Has a success at something caused you to think, “Now What?” Fear of success usually happens when you stay focused on the next step and not necessarily the destination.
Being afraid to pursue opportunities because there is fear around what it might look like is not uncommon. It might mean more responsibility, longer hours and more pressure. Add some self-doubt, and it is not surprising why a fear of success exists.
There will always be a learning curve as we continue to grow and develop. Sometimes realizing all the things we don’t know can be overwhelming and scary. Start by focusing on the manageable aspects of the success and make a plan to learn new things in small doses.
Fear of Being Judged
When you truly live your life, the life you want and not the life others want you to have, there is judgment. It’s true when you take those first steps outside of “the norm” or do something other than what people expect from you.
The truth is people judge when they are uncomfortable with their observations. Just know it has very little to do with you and everything to do with them.
While sometimes easier said than done, realize you are enough just as you are. If people are judging you, they are doing so out of their inadequacies. Examine your feelings. If what you are doing feels good, then chances are you on the right track.
Fear of Emotional Pain
It’s impossible to go through life without pain. The fear of being hurt can prevent us from opening our hearts to the greatest feeling of all – love. You shouldn’t let your fears stop you from doing the things that will make your life richer.
The problem with experiencing pain comes not from the pain itself, but our decision to hide from it.
Stop making “being happy” the goal because that will move you further from happiness. When you choose not to action because the result might end up making you feel bad, you aren’t allowing yourself to experience life. The only way to stop fearing emotional pain is to allow it in. When you do, your happy times will be even happier.
Fear of Embarrassment
Being embarrassed is a response to our need of perfection. It is impossible to be perfect but for some reason it is still something we still want.
We know in our head that making mistakes is part of life but when we disappoint people that matter, we feel all sorts of emotions including embarrassment. And the thing is, the people that matter are most likely just proud of our efforts.
Learn to laugh at yourself. Laughing at yourself is a pre-emptive strike against feeling embarrassed. Know that things will not go perfectly and expect that they won’t. You won’t get embarrassed when prepared for less than perfect results. Instead, you will be ready to try again.
Fear of Being Alone
The fear of being alone stems from wanting love. To avoid it, we spend countless hours on social networks, we overschedule our days, and we are constantly on the go.
We are surrounded by people all day but without meaningful relationships in our lives, we might as well be alone. And that is a scary prospect.
Foster the relationships that mean the most to you including the relationship with yourself. Sit quietly and alone for a few minutes every day. Get to know who you are, knowing when you get comfortable spending time with yourself, you will never fear being alone again. In fact, you might just begin to crave more of it.
Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is different than the other fears listed here because it is a compilation of all them. It is our natural tendency to want to belong, to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.
And even though we want to belong, we get nervous at the thought of being abandoned, ridiculed, or isolated. We fear being alone and in pain.
Whether being rejected for a job or by someone you love, being told no hurts. It is that fear that can prevent us from realizing our true potential because we avoid taking chances.
Understanding your feelings is important to move through this fear. There is no other way to overcome it than to stop avoiding action and taking it. Getting to the yes is a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you will get a yes.
Of course, there are many more fears than those on this list but “the fix” for almost any fear is common, stop anticipating what will happen and just allow things to happen. If you don’t like the result, do something different next time. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”