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5 Eating Habits To Avoid Before You Sleep

July 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Feeling tired but can’t sleep? You might not realize that your eating habits could be to blame, as the foods we do (or don’t) eat can mess with our sleep cycles. Some things might seem obvious, like not drinking caffeine or alcohol too close to bed, but other tips might surprise you. Read on to find out what eating habits to avoid before you sleep.

5 Eating Habits You Need To Avoid Before You Sleep

1. Eating dinner too early.

Just like you don’t want to feel too full when you go to sleep, you also don’t want to feel hungry, either. If you eat dinner at 5PM and don’t go to sleep until midnight or later, you might find your stomach growling for more food as you try to fall asleep.

To correct this, just prepare a small snack for yourself before bed, such as a glass of plant-based milk or a small protein shake, as protein will help your body to relax and become sleepy because of the tryptophan present. Try not to make the snack above 250 calories, as you don’t want to feel too full for bedtime. Avoid eating too late, however, as this could cause indigestion and heartburn.

2. Drinking coffee too late in the day.

Did you know it takes six hours for your body to eliminate just half of the caffeine you consume? This means that drinking coffee even six hours before bed can keep you awake at night. Caffeine can also cause anxiety in some people, which can contribute to insomnia. Try to drink your coffee in the morning and early afternoon, and if you have trouble sleeping at night, avoid drinking your afternoon cups of coffee.

3. Having a big dinner.

Ideally, you want to digest your food BEFORE you sleep, as this process can keep you awake at night. If you eat too large a meal before bed, your body will have to work on two processes at once; sleeping and digesting, which takes away from the energy your body needs to sleep. Try to have a bigger breakfast and lunch, and prepare a lighter dinner so that you can fall asleep easier at night.

4. Not eating enough foods that make you sleepy.

Our bodies need both serotonin and melatonin in order to sleep, so consider eating foods with these chemicals in order to get a good night’s rest. Many fruits and vegetables contain these chemicals, and you could even make a smoothie containing tart cherry juice concentrate, bananas, kiwis, and ice. Bananas contain magnesium and potassium, which help induce sleep, tart cherry juice concentrate can help increase melatonin (which also aids in sleep), and kiwis raise serotonin levels in the body. Serotonin does not make you sleepy, but it can calm you down before bed.

5. Eating dairy before bed

Consuming high-fat dairy products before bed could disrupt your sleep, according to new research published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. Low-fiber, high-fat, high-sugar diets have been found to negatively impact how deep you sleep. High-fat foods can also take longer to digest, which means your body will once again have to use tons of energy to move the foods through your system while you try to get some shut-eye.
“Fat leaves the stomach last, after proteins and carbohydrates, so avoiding foods rich in fat close to bedtime is a smart choice,” says registered dietitian Lisa Stollman, RD.

Need some tips for a better night’s sleep? Here are a few that can help you to get more shut-eye.

Keep your room dark, cool, and free from distractions. Turn off electronics a couple hours before bedtime, and do activities such as reading a book or meditating to get you sleepy. Turn off all artificial lights at least a couple hours before bedtime as well, since these lights can disrupt melatonin levels.
Don’t drink too much water before bed, as this can keep you up all hours of the night running to the bathroom.
Try relaxation techniques before bed, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises in order to calm your mind for bedtime.
Most importantly, remember that you deserve to sleep and eat well in order to fuel your mind, body, and spirit, so don’t sabotage your sleep!

The Best Way to Deal With Close Minded People: 5 Responses

July 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Closed-minded people are judgmental, opinionated, and full of criticism. There is an inspirational quote going through the Internet that says, “The problem with closed-minded people, is that their mouth is always open.” These people have an answer to everything without ever participating in a true solution. They have no idea what anyone is going through with challenges and obstacles. They open up their mouths and give way to uneducated and obnoxious ideas. They’re ignorant, self-righteous, and demanding. And, they know no wrongdoing.

How do you deal with a closed-minded person?

Unfortunately, closed-minded people are everywhere. It may be your uncle, sister, cousin, boss, or distant family friend. Often we think that we must tread lightly when we are dealing with close-minded people. This is not the case. You may not be able to escape their attitude, but you can get clever with how to respond to their words. Closed-minded people are usually driven by fear. How we react is based on our own resistance.

Here are 5 ways to respond to closed-minded people

1. DO NOT SHARE PERSONAL THINGS WITH THEM.

Inspirational author Steve Pavlina shares ideas from his book “Personal Development for Smart People” on how to deal with the toxic arrogance that happens with closed-minded people. “When you encounter people who are very close-minded, you’ll often find yourself becoming resistant to the other person’s position. You think the problem lies with the other person, but if you define it that way, you’ll beat your head against the wall in frustration. The real source of your frustration is your own resistance, not the other person.”

So in view of his research and findings, the best way to deal with such behavior is by not sharing personal information. If you already know what triggers the person to judge and criticize, stay off the subjects. Try to deflect by smiling and thanking them for their wisdom!

2. LET THEM KNOW YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR PERMISSION.

We give power to closed-minded individuals when we ask them for opinions and permission. Don’t ask for advice if you know what you are up against. Sometimes when we speak, we don’t realize how things are misinterpreted, so perhaps you were just needing confirmation on a subject. But you didn’t ask their permission. Be aware of how you phrase things. That person will come at you with their beliefs. And, in that moment, you will realize that this is not what you meant to do or say. The best way to overcome this is by answering, “Let’s agree to disagree since I really wasn’t asking your permission.” And then walk away because their ego will always control their mouth.

3. BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.

Some narrow-minded people are like skunks. You can smell them before even seeing them. When a subject comes up that the close-minded individual starts to bulldoze over, make sure you let them know that you will not tolerate it. Let them know straight away that their opinion stinks. This may hurt that person but it will also stop future arguments. No one wants to be humiliated. You are putting barricades up before the skunk can sneak into your place. You can tell them that “it’s not up for discussion.”

4. MAINTAIN A POSITIVE OUTLOOK NO MATTER WHAT.

Closed-minded people are not optimists. They see the world through fear and anxiety. They judge because of ignorance and differences. A way to disarm them is to stay positive. Whatever they say, try and spin it with sunshine. They don’t know what to do with it. Their world is full of pessimism. Sing them a child’s catchy Disney tune. You are not mocking them, you are shutting them up. They already think you are crazy, so step onto the stage. Nothing stops them from irrational behavior more than unpredictable actions.

5. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

Sometimes it’s easier said than done. When we are passionate about a subject matter, we become the subject. Recognize that negative close minded folks can’t see the other side of the coin. They are reacting to their judgments and ideas. Perhaps they aren’t educated on the discussion. They are repeating what they have heard on the news or through other groups similar to them. When you step back, recognize that you have an opportunity to educate this person. Don’t take on the judgment as an attack. Take it as an advantage and a chance to teach someone a new point of view lovingly. Even those who are close-minded may have a point that you can learn from as well.

We all have diverse views and ideas. Opened-minded people know how to handle these behaviors. They are also open in their convictions that not everyone thinks the same. This doesn’t mean you have to tolerate abuse, nasty behaviors, or disrespect. It just means you don’t have to accept every judgment and criticism. We learn from each other. We don’t have to participate in every argument to make a point.

5 Things Women Must Have In A Relationship

July 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The ageless question men ask about women is “what do women want in a relationship?” There are many myths to what women desire. Most men believe women want the perfect house, a loving husband and a family. They want happiness, travel, and entertainment. Additionally, many want a man who emotionally supports them and always finds them attractive. They want it all.

According to a study in the Journal of Psychology, relationship satisfaction scores highest in what women look for in a partner. Apparently in women, emotions are things that are required. Empathy and the ability to read their partner’s emotions is up on the list.

“For women, seeing their husband or boyfriend upset is a reflection of their partner’s emotional engagement. When women see their male partners sharing their negative emotions, they see it as a sign of connection, openness and communication. Women don’t like it when men distance themselves during conflict,” says the study’s lead author, Dr. Shiri Cohen of Harvard Medical School.

But women want more than the ability to read their partner’s emotions. They want trust, understanding, intimacy and space.

NOTE: You you are curious about what men must have, read our companion article on that topic.

Here are 5 things women must have in a relationship:

1. Vulnerability.

Women are emotional beings. They want to be able to be themselves. Vulnerability allows for the freedom to express and let go of shame. Women want a partner who can witness their courage and love them for it. Brene Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, writes:

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”

2. Intimacy.

Women want to feel understood and accepted. This is not only in sensual settings, but in intimate settings of love and compassion. It’s the little things: holding hands, a kiss on the forehead, flowers brought home for no reason, a sweet text, or a magazine. They need to believe that their counterparts are thinking of them. They want their mates to see them whole. Women want to feel desired, because true intimacy is a sacred experience. Intimacy is the beautiful affection that is constant. It is loving and endless. There are no substitutes for how one soul sees another.

3. Support.

To a woman, nothing is more flattering than receiving unwavering support for her decisions. Whether it is in regards to her career choices, family decisions, health issues or finances, women feel secure when their partner supports them. They feel safe. They know they are not conquering the world alone or taking care of things companionless. Being supported allows them to make healthy decisions and they succeed because of it. When a woman is supported, she feels protected.

4. Trust.

It goes without saying that the foundation to a lasting relationship is trust. Honesty is still the best policy. When a woman has that certainty in her life, she is opened to communicate fearlessly with her mate. She can be herself and not feel that she will be betrayed. Trust is not only about fidelity, it’s about opening the heart and sharing with your loved one. It’s loyalty, cooperation, and consideration. Trust involves support, vulnerability, integrity, and intimacy. It requires that we stand raw and expose the dark and light parts of the soul without the fear of getting hurt.

5. Best friend.

Women have special bonds with their girlfriends. They laugh, encourage, share, and understand one another. But, when they find that special someone who they can trust and be themselves with, that’s the icing on the cake. Women want to marry their best friends. They want to nest together, share stories, raise a family, and conquer the sweet life. They want to feel that they are seen and understood without judgment or criticism. The most amazing relationship to a woman is knowing that she has her soulmate at her side.

Final Thoughts on Understanding What Women Want in a Relationship

Respect, compassion, gentleness, acceptance, love, and laughter open any woman in a relationship. She wants to believe that she’s able to be herself. She wants to be able to follow her dreams alongside her partner. Women don’t want a selfish man who dominates them. They want someone who will stand by them and see them for who they really are. They want the happily ever after of mutual love and admiration.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Phrases Manipulators Say To Make You Feel Crazy

July 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

One thing is for certain: manipulators are great at what they do, namely, being deceptive. We can evaluate the above definition by Merriam-Webster to figure out exactly what manipulators are up to.

Are manipulators artful?

In no way does a manipulator create inspiring, beautiful pieces of art. At the same time, they do take their “craft” of playing on someone else’s emotions quite seriously. They operate in the same way that a talented artist painstakingly decorates an empty canvas. Disturbing but true.

Are manipulators unfair?

“Fairness” isn’t an attribute that manipulators embody. They couldn’t care less about how fair or unfair they’re being. They care about what they can get from others, regardless of the magnitude of pain they may inflict, which is often severe.

Are manipulators insidious?

To be insidious is to knowingly create harm in an ambiguous manner, which manipulators certainly do. Those unfortunate enough to be receiving a manipulator’s subtle “suggestions” rarely recognize the insidious motives until lasting damage has been done.

Ten Behaviors That Reveal Manipulators

Deceit, exploitation, and control mark manipulators. Manipulative people use a variety of tactics to achieve their goals, whether it be getting their way in a particular situation, gaining power or status, or simply satisfying their personal needs.

Manipulative behavior is often seen as harmful, as it can lead to manipulating others and exploiting vulnerable people. It is essential to understand the typical behaviors of manipulative people to protect yourself and others from being harmed.

Here are some of the key behaviors of manipulative people:

1 – Lying and Deception Reveal Manipulators

One of the most common behaviors of manipulative people is lying and deception. They often use lies and half-truths to get what they want and may even create elaborate stories or scenarios to manipulate others. They may also withhold information or give false promises to gain control over a situation.

2 – Guilt-Tripping

Manipulative people often use guilt-tripping as a way to get what they want. They may make others feel responsible for their problems or make them feel bad for not doing what they want. It can be especially effective if the person on the receiving end has a strong sense of empathy or a desire to please others.

3 – Gaslighting Reveals Manipulators

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation involving making someone doubt their perceptions and experiences. Manipulative people may use gaslighting to make others question their memory, sanity, or judgment. They may deny things they previously said or did or try to convince others that they are wrong or crazy.

4 – Manipulators Rely on Flattery and Charm

Manipulative people are often very skilled at flattery and charm. They may use compliments or acts of kindness to gain trust and manipulate others into doing what they want. They may also use their charisma and social skills to make themselves likable or trustworthy.

5 – Manipulators Love Playing the Victim

Manipulative people may also play the victim to gain sympathy and manipulate others. They may exaggerate their problems or make themselves seem more vulnerable than they are. It can be especially effective if the other person has a strong empathy or a desire to help others.

6 – Threats and Intimidation

Manipulative people may use threats and intimidation to gain control over others. They may use verbal or physical threats or make others feel afraid of the consequences of not doing what they want. It can be especially effective if the victim is in a vulnerable position or is afraid of confrontation.

7 – Control and Dominance Reveal Manipulators

Manipulative people often seek to control and dominate others. They may use their power or influence to get what they want or try to manipulate others into giving up their power and control. They may also try to isolate others from their support networks or use their position of authority to make others feel powerless.

8 – Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Manipulative people may also use passive-aggressive behavior as a way to manipulate others. It can include snide comments, sarcastic remarks, or subtly sabotaging to get what they want. They may also use guilt-tripping or other manipulative tactics more indirectly or subtly.

9 – Withholding Affection

Manipulative people may also use their affection or attention to control others. They may withhold affection or attention to punish others or make them feel guilty. It can be especially effective if the manipulated person strongly desires love or approval.

10 – Using Information Against Others

Manipulative people may also use information against others to gain control or manipulate them. They may use secrets or private information to blackmail or threaten others or use sensitive information to gain leverage or power over others.

Here are five phrases manipulators say to make you feel crazy:

Those who practice manipulation have a standard set of phrases. These phrases serve as smokescreens, making it difficult for you to understand what is going on in the mind of a manipulator. They use this confusion to accomplish their mischievous goals, considering others merely a means to an end. Are you someone a manipulator is trying to use? If you’re not sure, read on …

1. “You’re misunderstanding what I said.”

This is a common phrase uttered by manipulators when they’re “caught” saying or doing something deceptive. When this happens, they’ll turn the table on you to create a sense of doubt.

Manipulators thrive on creating negative emotions. They find satisfaction in someone else’s confusion. You can be confident that you’re not the one confused. In fact, you probably understand fully what they said or did, which is the opposite of the manipulator’s intent. If you encounter someone who consistently utters this phrase, consider whether this is a healthy, positive connection in your life.

2. “You’re acting crazy/irrational/illogical, etc.”

This second phrase is a close cousin to the first. The purpose here is to create a sense of doubt and/or confusion. This phrase aims a direct attack on your mental faculties. Yes, you read that right…it is a direct attack. Someone doesn’t call another person crazy, illogical, irrational, or worse, for anything other than to hurt them.

It doesn’t matter the tone in which this phrase is uttered; it’s the context. Manipulators may sound detached when saying this to make it sound less personal. Please make no mistake: it is personal. Not only that, but it is hurtful and purposeful. Such behavior requires a swift and direct response.

3. “You’re too sensitive.”

No, you aren’t; you’re a logical human being. Nobody would respond kindly to being taken advantage of, which is precisely what the manipulator does. What does this phrase do? It creates doubt (see a pattern here?)

Even if you are sensitive, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, sensitive people are the ones that often fall prey to acts of manipulation. Sensitive people care. If you are sensitive, you naturally comfort and sympathize with others.

Unfortunately, sensitive people are more likely to examine their thoughts and actions closely, and a manipulator wants them to do just that. Examine, and examine some more … and then concede defeat.

Please don’t allow it to happen!

4. “I don’t like drama.”

Yes, they do. Indeed, serial manipulators thrive on it, but in a different way than you. Generally speaking, manipulators don’t express drama in the physical sense. They don’t shrug their shoulders, sigh heavily, or speak loudly. They prefer to “go about their business” by manipulating others subtly.

The point here is that the victim is, once again, forced to examine their actions. You might find yourself asking, “Am I being dramatic? Am I making too much out of too little?” No, you aren’t. Sadly, many people on the receiving end of a manipulator’s antics are more than willing to admit wrongdoing when they have no reason to do so.

5. “You’re thinking too much.”

Maybe you are thinking too much, but maybe not. Even if you are, in this sense, it’s a positive development. It’s a positive because you’re rationalizing and refusing the psychological tricks that manipulators often use to get their way.

Here’s the caveat: making sense of a manipulative person is difficult, perhaps impossible. It’s impossible because manipulation is not a rational behavior. It’s irrational, abnormal, and extremely hurtful. A person who truly cares for and loves someone else does not exhibit manipulative traits.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Behaviors and Words That Reveal Manipulators

If you’ve been on the receiving end of manipulation, you’re probably hurting and filled with doubt. Take heart by understanding and believing that there is nothing wrong with you.

It’s the manipulator and them alone.

15 Life Lessons to Learn From Elie Wiesel

July 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Humanity has lost a great mentor and spiritual teacher. Elie Wiesel was a Nobel Peace Prize winner, who not only survived the Holocaust, but through compassion showed the world what it was to have tolerance while moving through peace. He died at the age of 87 on Saturday, July 2, 2016, in his apartment in Manhattan, NY.

Speaking of Elie Wiesel, President Obama quoted, “Elie was not just the world’s most prominent Holocaust survivor, he was a living memorial. Elie spoke words I’ve never forgotten, ‘Memory has become a sacred duty of all people of goodwill.’ Upholding that sacred duty was the purpose of Elie’s life.”

In Wiesel’s memoir, Night, he shared with the world the torture, inconceivable acts of violence, the death of over 6 million Jewish brothers and sisters, and the means for surviving when there was nothing to hold on to. His book has been translated into 30 languages and is a worldwide phenomenon. He said of his book, “I decided to devote my life to telling the story because I felt that having survived I owe something to the dead. And anyone who does not remember betrays them again.”

For over six decades Elie has taught us tolerance, compassion, love, grace, and forgiveness. He taught us to question faith, mysticism, philosophy, history, and religion.

Here are 15 life lessons to learn from Elie Wiesel:

1. You are not alone in your suffering.

“Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere.”

2. Know your truth, regardless of what others tell you.

“They are committing the greatest indignity human beings can inflict on one another: telling people who have suffered excruciating pain and loss that their pain and loss were illusions.

3. Stand up for what you believe, even if you stand alone.

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

4. Indifference is the cause of many of our humanitarian issues.

“The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference. The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death.”

5. Never lose your faith.

“There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.”

6. Be consciously aware of your place in this world.

“In the concentration camps, we discovered this whole universe where everyone had his place. The killer came to kill, and the victims came to die.”

7. Always be grateful.

“When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.”

8. We are all equal.

“No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior. All collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them.”

9. Remember history, stories, and learn from the past.

“Without memory, there is no culture. Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future.”

10. We are not powerless to what we believe.

“There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.”

11. Peace pushes us to find humanity in this world

“Mankind must remember that peace is not God’s gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other. Peace is our gift to each other.”

12. We must take responsibility for our actions and behavior.

“Human beings should be held accountable. Leave God alone. He has enough problems.”

13. Humanity is united during moments of sorrow and desperation.

“We have to go into the despair and go beyond it, by working and doing for somebody else, by using it for something else.”

14. Friendships are needed to survive this journey.

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”

15. Knowledge is vital for our survival.

“There is divine beauty in learning… To learn means to accept the postulate that life did not begin at my birth. Others have been here before me, and I walk in their footsteps. The books I have read were composed by generations of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, teachers and disciples. I am the sum total of their experiences, their quests. And so are you.”

Elie Wiesel believed that faith moved the world. He knew that peace was birthed because of it. All the lessons he taught have left a legacy of a man untouched by the hatred of one of history’s most despicable crimes towards humanity. Yet, in spite of all that he endured, he leaves us with this thought in his memoir:

“There’s a long road of suffering ahead of you. But don’t lose courage. You’ve already escaped the gravest danger: selection. So now, muster your strength, and don’t lose heart. We shall all see the day of liberation. Have faith in life. Above all else, have faith. Drive out despair, and you will keep death away from yourselves. Hell is not for eternity. And now, a prayer – or rather, a piece of advice: let there be comradeship among you. We are all brothers, and we are all suffering the same fate. The same smoke floats over all our heads. Help one another. It is the only way to survive.”

10 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

July 2, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You feel strongly that you and your partner are a good fit, and you want to make sure that the relationship is a healthy one that will not only last. But you also want one that will do a lot to improve your well-being and make you the best person you can be for your partner.

Let’s look at 10 signs that you’re on the right track to building a healthy relationship with your partner.

10 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

1. You communicate very well

Communication is very essential to a healthy relationship. It’s the way that you express what you need and learn what your partner needs from you. If you can’t speak your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental needs to your partner or they don’t do a good job of listening to you, your relationship may be doomed to failure.

2. You have the freedom to pursue different interests

A sign of a healthy relationship is when trust has been well established. Thus, your partner doesn’t need to check up on you or spend every moment with you. You can be out with friends doing an activity that your partner isn’t interested in and they are not worried about your infidelity to the relationship.

3. There is an equal contribution to the relationship

Feeling that you both contribute equally, even though it may be in different ways to your relationship is important. For example, one partner may provide emotional support while the other provides financial support, but as long as both partners feel that they are working toward the goal of building a strong life together, they have a healthy relationship power balance.

4. You and your partner practice mindfulness

Mindfulness can be achieved in many ways, but it’s a sign you’re in a healthy relationship if you and your partner understand the importance of the present moment.

In a study of mindfulness and relationship satisfaction, researchers found that mindfulness was related to lower emotional stress and positive perceptions of the relationship, even after a conflict. They also found that mindfulness about individual personality traits was related to better communication quality during the discussion.

5. You can be intimate in many different ways

Sex should not be the only way that you and your partner bond physically in a healthy relationship. There should be plenty of non-sexual touches, comforting words, shared laughs, and other small, joy-filled intimate moments that create the quality relationship that you want.

6. Your partner is sensitive to your needs

You can express your needs, even emotional ones, to your partner and they listen and then find a way to provide what you need or to help you provide it for yourself.

7. You fight fairly

When there is a disagreement in a healthy relationship, your partner listens to what you want and makes their case for what they want. You both have an opportunity to speak and explain your side. After you have expressed your views, you both work together to find a solution that meets both of your needs, ideally.

8. Your partner shows an interest in your daily life

‘That’s nice, dear’ is not a great way to show enthusiastic interest in your partner and people in healthy relationships know that it takes more effort. Actively giving your attention to your partner and asking questions about their lives shows that you care.

Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute for relationship research says that he can predict relationship success about 94% of the time based on couples’ interactions with each other. He calls the successful partners ‘Masters’ and the unsuccessful partners ‘Disasters.’ A quote from the Gottman Institute website: ‘In Dr. Gottman’s research, the Masters responded to their partner’s attempts to initiate conversation or connect 86% of the time. The Disasters only responded to these bids 33% of the time. Failing to show an interest in your partner can lead to the deterioration of a relationship.’

9. You and your partner take responsibility

People in healthy relationships act the same way that they do in every situation; they hold themselves responsible for their actions and take action to fix problems. If there has been a conflict, you played some role in that conflict with your partner.

Tell your partner that you apologize for any hurt feelings that came up based on what you said in the conflict and remind your partner that you care about them and love them. Dr. Gottman says that relationship repair is essential to healthy relationships; ‘Distressed couples have as many repair attempts as happy couples, it is just that these repair attempts tend not to work because these partners don’t feel close, accepted, or safe enough.’

10. You lift each other up

When you are in a healthy relationship, a good sign is that your partner supports you and helps lift your mood when you are down. They encourage you, remind you of your strengths, let you talk through your concerns, and help ease your fears. In a healthy relationship, your partner reminds you that you can do anything and they will help you to do it.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Scientists Explain What Happens To Your Body When You Quit Sugar For 10 Days

July 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

As human beings, we all have specific weaknesses when it comes to food, and for many of us, anything that contains sugar satisfies our cravings and gives us comfort when we need it most. If you go into any store nowadays and read the labels on packaged food, you’ll find it contains sugar in some form and usually in ENORMOUS amounts. For example, a bottle of soda can have more than fifty grams of sugar, which far surpasses the recommended amount for the average adult.

In today’s world, where we can get a sugary concoction of artificial ingredients at any corner store or restaurant, staying away from this toxic additive in food can become quite a challenge. However, trying our best to at least cut back on sugar can prevent diseases such as diabetes, strokes, cancer, cardiovascular disease, heart disease, obesity, and more. In recent years, food companies have replaced added fats with sugars to follow health trends, but research proves that sugar, not fats, has contributed far more to the decline of people’s health at large.

However, even if you’ve consumed sugar, you can quickly reverse the harmful side effects by severely reducing your sugar intake. Many diets take a while to show results, but cutting out added sugars can bring results in as little as ten days. In a new study that included children, researchers saw dramatic improvements in the children’s health in just over a week.

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Go Without Sugar For Ten Days

Dr. Robert Lustig and his team of researchers from the University of California, San Francisco, noticed an average decrease in triglyceride levels by 33 points. The LDL (bad) cholesterol dropped by five points, and diastolic blood pressure. In only ten days, all children participating in the study dramatically decreased their risk of developing Type 2 diabetes.

Even though this study only includes children, we can only assume that this would work on adults.

However, we’d like to clear something up before we move forward. Many people assume that ALL sugars cause adverse health, but we need sugar to survive. The key is to consume the RIGHT kind of sugars from whole, plant-based foods. These sugars occur naturally, and our bodies can assimilate and digest them perfectly. The problem exists when we extract sugars from plants and put these “food-like substances” into processed foods. Added sugar has no nutritional value whatsoever, so the body recognizes the calories but does not know how to convert the energy into a usable form. Thus, we see rampant diabetes, cancer, heart disease, etc., in modern society.

Sugar spikes

Also, not all calories perform the same way in the body. Added sugar causes your insulin levels to spike, even with natural sugars. However, over time, your insulin response will become damaged after consuming added sugars in large amounts and cause inflammation. On the other hand, if you consume the same amount of calories in the form of broccoli, for example, your body will process it as actual energy since it contains the correct alkalinity and nutrients for us.

Food companies spend millions per year trying to convince us to buy their products, but truthfully, many food substances they sell have no nutritional value whatsoever. Simply put, we should all make an effort to eat primarily whole, plant-based foods that our bodies have been designed to consume and try to steer clear of processed foods. Even if something says “low calorie” or “fat-free” on the label, it does not necessarily indicate a healthy option. In fact, many companies substitute sugar to conserve the flavor without adding extra calories or fat.

So, how much sugar should you consume?

For an average two thousand calorie diet, the Heart and Stroke Foundation recommends that only 10% of our calories come from sugar or about twelve grams. Many products on the shelves, including sauces and dressings, come very close to or even exceed that amount with just one serving. So, when you go grocery shopping next, pay attention to the labels, and opt for whole foods as much as possible. While processed food comes at a lower price, you can’t put a price tag on health. Sure, purchasing fruits and vegetables might cost significantly more, but think of it this way: you will save THOUSANDS on medical bills later in life, so which would you rather have?

Keep in mind as well that added sugars can hide under many different names and labels, so look out for the following when you go to the store: glucose/fructose, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, sucrose, maltose, dextrose, beet sugar, glucose solids, cane sugar, dehydrated cane juice, dextrin, and maltodextrin, among others.

Also, remember that our brain responds the same to sugar as to certain drugs, and some studies have even found sugar to be eight times more addictive than cocaine! With this in mind, hopefully, you will aim to make sugar a part of your diet and fill your cart with more living foods. Your body will indeed thank you in the long run!

8 Ways to Reduce Sugar Cravings

While cutting sweets out of your diet may seem complicated, it comes with great rewards. Here are some easy ways to help combat your sugar cravings and possibly lose a few pounds.

1. Fill up on Protein

You need between 46-and 56 grams of protein daily, which helps fill you up and satisfy you. Strive to ensure each meal has about 20 grams of protein so that you don’t feel hungry and want to reach for sweets.

2. Be On the Look Out for Hidden Sugars

There are refined sugars in many beverages and foods that you don’t even realize. It would help if you ate your calories rather than drink them. Things like fruit juice are high in fructose, making you crave sweet things even more.

Opt for low-calorie and sugar-free beverages. Always read the label and know what hidden sweeteners are present in your meals.

3. Include Complex Carbs in Your Meals

There are two types of carbohydrates, which are complex and simple. You don’t want to fill up on simple ones as they will pack on the pounds and enhance your cravings. Complex carbs are the ones that will keep your cravings at bay, and you will find them in things like oats, cereal, whole wheat bread, and beans.

4. Find Sweet Alternatives

You can’t deprive yourself of everything sweet, or it could lead to binge eating. However, you can find alternatives that won’t kick your cravings into overdrive or affect your glucose levels. It’s okay to have a piece of cake once in a while as long as you can control it.

5. Stay Hydrated

Did you know that many people reach for sweets when their body is craving water? The CDC states that people are severely water deficient, as they don’t drink anywhere near the required amounts.

They’ve found that teens, on average, drink about fifteen ounces of water each day, and adults consume about 39 ounces, which is nowhere near the required amounts. Filling up and keeping your body hydrated can also help reduce unnecessary hunger.

6. Eat More Often

Consuming smaller meals more often than eating three large meals a day is better. It will help you keep your glucose levels in check, but it can help reduce cravings too. Many people reach for things in a hurry because they’re starving, and it’s often a vending machine or something from a convenience store during the workday.

Pack some healthy snacks with you and try to eat every two to three hours to keep binge eating at bay.

7. Chew Gum

Chewing sugar-free gum is a great option to keep you from indulging in sweet treats. A study by The Pennington Biomedical Research Center shows that people who chew gum after lunch are way less likely to consume sugary sweets in the afternoon.

Plus, when the folks in the study did snack, the group that chewed gum ate fewer calories than those who didn’t chew gum. Additionally, the chewing motion can help relieve anxiety, which is always helpful.

8. Switch to a Low Carb Lifestyle

While you need some carbs to survive, you can live on much less than you eat. Stay below three hundred carbohydrates daily to keep your cravings at bay. Diets like keto, paleo, and the Mediterranean are great for helping people with intense cravings to kick them to the curb.

12 Natural Sweeteners to Replace Sugar

An all-natural sweetener is an answer if you long for that sweet kick in your tea, coffee, or desserts. Avoid using sugar-alcohols that can make you sick when eating in abundance, but you should try some of these all-natural alternatives.

1. Monk Fruit

This fruit is known for its sweetness. This Southeast Asia wonder is way sweeter than the white crystals, so you only need a little bit to achieve the required sweetness. Plus, there are antioxidant properties, and it has zero carbs is also a benefit.

2. Stevia

This alternative is made from the leaves of the stevia plant. It has no calories, so it’s great for diabetics and dieters alike. It can be used as a spoon as a sweetener to substitute of table-sugar with just about anything your heart desires.

3. Xylitol

This sweetener is made from birch trees and has forty percent lower calories than refined options. It’s dangerous for pets, so make sure you don’t let Fido have a taste of anything made with this sweetener. For you, it’s the perfect supplement to keep your glucose levels regular and your waistline slim.

4. Pure Maple Syrup

Pure maple syrup comes from extracting sap from a tree. Now, don’t be confused by the syrup bottles on your shelves at the supermarket, as they are artificially flavored and not the real thing. By reading the labels and the price tag, you will know if you have the real maple variety, as it’s a bit pricey.

It’s great for people with diabetes as it has a low glycemic index, and when using it in a recipe, you need slightly less than you would traditional sweeteners. You only need about three-fourths of a cup of maple syrup to substitute for one cup of table sugar.

5. Raw Honey

Unlike refined sweetness, this natural product has antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties. It’s chocked full of vitamins and minerals that are healthy. Plus, the antibacterial and antifungal properties can’t be denied.

Another fact is that picking honey harvested locally can also help with your allergies as bees pollinate on the flowers which aggravates your sinuses. You’re introducing your system to micro amounts of this pollen, which will help you build up a resistance to them.

6. Figs

Figs are versatile fruit as they can replace fat and sweetness. They’re loaded with things like iron, fiber, and potassium. You can blend them in a food processor to make a puree to use as a sweetener in recipes. To make fig puree, use eight ounces of figs and one-third of a cup of water to make a liquid sweetener.

7. Blackstrap Molasses

Don’t be fooled by the various types of molasses on the market, as blackstrap is the healthiest. It’s lower on the glycemic index as well as has fewer calories. It’s full of nutrients like iron, magnesium, copper, and potassium.

8. Yacon Syrup

Yacon syrup is not commonly marketed as a sweet alternative. Still, it is a great low-calorie option that improves your gut health. It has soluble fiber and prebiotics to help you regulate your digestive system. The key is to use this in moderation, as it tends to cause stomach upset when eaten in abundance.

9. Banana Puree

When you need more potassium and fiber, you look to bananas. However, if you need to add sweetness to your cooking, you can also use this yellow fruit. You want to make a puree with bananas and water, and it can then be used as a liquid sweetener in anything you want.

The best thing about this natural sweetener is the price. Most alternative sweeteners are very expensive, but you can make this one for nearly nothing.

10. Dates

Pick up some dates if you’re looking for a great natural sweetener rich in nutrients and fiber. Did you know that it can also help to regulate your digestive system? You can use them raw or make a liquid sweetener with the fruit and some water in a food processor.

11. Agave

Agave syrup is super sweet, 1.5 times that of regular table salt. It has around sixty calories for each tablespoon, but its health benefits outweigh traditional sweeteners. Did you know that the blue agave plant is the same used to make tequila? It’s low on the glycemic index and high on taste.

12. Apple Sugar

Apple sweetener is a relatively new option on the market. It’s 58 percent lower on the glycemic index than cane varieties and has a neutral flavor that folks love. It’s overly sweet, so you only need about half the amount to add sweetness to your desserts or drinks.

Final Thoughts on Eating Too Much Sugar

Your body needs some sugar to help the processes in your body. However, when you overindulge and frequently consume, it can cause cell damage and make you miserable.

Many people try to cut out sweet stuff and have failed, so finding an alternative that works for you and suits your tastebuds is a great place to start. If you have a little bit of sugar in your day, it’s okay if you have the discipline not to go overboard.

4 Signs Your Partner Is A Perfect Match

June 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Your partner feels so right to you, and you are definitely getting soul mate vibes from them, but how can you be sure that this is your perfect match? Whether or not you believe in the idea of a one and only love in the world who is just right for you, knowing the signs will help you pin down your perfect match before he or she gets away.

Nobody’s perfect, but can you be perfect in a relationship with a partner who is your perfect compliment? Maybe you aren’t a patient person, but your partner is willing to wait in line for you when you can’t handle it. Or maybe you hate to clean but your partner enjoys it. An odd couple can be a perfect match when they help support each other’s weaknesses and they also bring plenty of strengths to the relationship.

In this article, we will look at some of the signs of an ideal partnership so you will recognize it when you see it and make a move before they have a chance to getaway.

4 Signs Your Partner Is A Perfect Match

1. Your partner (and hopefully you) have a positive outlook

A positive, rather than a negative attitude would certainly make your future together with your partner a brighter one. When you see yourself in your golden years, you don’t want to be surrounded by negativity, at least not alone. Ideally, your perfect match would bring a positive mood to your life anytime you are around them.

Researchers in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology conducted a study to ‘understand how dating couples can maintain feelings of relationship satisfaction in their daily lives and over the course of time.’ Researchers found that couples were most likely to be happier when both of them had a life-seeking attitude that embraced every challenge with positive energy.

Ideally, both partners would share this attitude, but happiness is still achievable if at least one of you is cheerful enough to pull the other one along. In contrast, if your partner looks at life as a series of events that are focused on avoiding bad things rather than seeking the good, your chances of a perfect match for happiness are decreased.

2. You know what it means to be a good friend to your partner

In another research study, feelings of emotional security and companionship predicted happiness for couples over long-term relationships. The study found that happiness was ever more likely when the participants knew themselves well and had a firm sense of identity.

Companionship is particularly important later in life, when sexual activity decreases as we age. You and your partner need to be able to support, entertain, and bring joy to each other’s lives so that you can enjoy your relationship many years from now.

Think about your best friend who is not your partner. Think about the specific qualities that you love about your friend’s personality and the ways in which they show their trust and friendship. If your partner does these same things for you now, it’s a good sign that your partner is a perfect match.

3. You are truly your best self when you are with your partner

An ideal match for you would be someone who helps you to be your best self by encouraging your growth and development within the framework of a committed relationship. In this way, you feel securely emotionally protected and you can spread your wings and be amazing.

Think about when you feel truly your best self and think about how you can feel that way more often. Are you with your partner when you feel this way or are you with other people or alone?

4. You feel comfortable and happy just doing nothing together

A comfortably matched couple is a couple who are happy just to be together with nothing to do. They can have a great conversation with no music, TV, or WiFi to disturb the wonderful feeling that they get by being in each other’s presence.

Relaxing in a park or going for a walk are fun activities when your partner is a perfect match. They know how to stimulate your mind, your emotions, and they connect to you spiritually as well as physically. These moments together build a lifetime of intimacy for a perfectly matched couple.

The foundation of your relationship will be built on trust and communication, so being able to bond by sharing the intimate details of your lives in conversation is both a way to build trust and also your joint communication skills. Your partner is a perfect match when you feel comfortable that they do not hide important things from you and they are able to communicate love in whatever way you need it.

9 Reasons You Need to Eat Flaxseed

June 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Indeed, flaxseed has been around for centuries. The seed was believed to be cultivated somewhere east of the Mediterranean around 3000 BC. Initially, flax (or linum usitatissimum), was used to make linen because of the plant’s robust and flexible fiber within its stem. The consumption of flax seed is a relatively new concept, catching on in the United States in the late 1990’s.

An exciting piece of history: around the 8^th century, King Charlemagne passed a law that required people to consume flaxseed. That may be a bit excessive, but the sovereign King did have an altruistic reason for doing so, in that he wanted to pass the tremendous health benefits of flaxseed to his people.

Flaxseed is considered a “superfood,” or food so densely packed with nutrients that it should be consumed daily. The seed is tasty, small, and can be included with several foods: oatmeal, rice, yogurt, cereal, potatoes, smoothies…the list is practically endless.

Here Are 9 Reasons You Need To Eat Flaxseed Every Day:

1. It’s an excellent source of nutrients

As mentioned prior, flaxseed is a superfood because of its sheer amount of packed nutrients. Flaxseed contains omega-3 fatty acids for heart and brain health, lignans with antioxidant and cancer-fighting properties, and soluble fiber for digestive and gastrointestinal health. In addition, flaxseed is a rich source of macronutrients, manganese, and vitamin B. Flaxseed also contains good protein. Nutrition gurus deem it a powerful addition to one’s diet.

2. It reduces hypertension

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimate that approximately 68 million Americans (one-third of the population) have hypertension or high blood pressure. Flaxseed is shown to be a promising remedy for this epidemic. Those that include flaxseed oil in their daily diets tend to sustain regular blood pressure readings and lower the blood pressure of those with hypertension. (For reference, normal blood pressure is around 120/80.)

3. It may help fight skin cancer

We all love to be out in the sun; perhaps the only concern is the rising numbers of skin cancer.

As it turns out, according to The US National Library of Medicine, dietary flaxseed supplementation enhanced the cancer-fighting properties of mice by as much as 63% while reducing the number of cancerous tumors discovered.

4. It may help ward off depression

Depression is a complicated illness to understand.

Those afflicted with the condition often desperately need some help. According to one Japanese study, flaxseed may help balance the complex network of neurotransmitters within the brain, providing much-needed relief. In addition, depressed people are more likely to have lower levels of omegas in their body, which flaxseed may also help to correct.

5. Helps to lower cholesterol

Having high cholesterol levels is not only unhealthy, but it’s also dangerous. Those with high cholesterol are more likely to suffer from a heart attack or stroke. According to an Iowa State University study, flaxseed effectively lowers cholesterol levels. Flaxseed may also help serve as great preventative food for warding off high cholesterol.

6. Promotes healthy hair and skin

The good fats and B vitamins within flax help reduce dryness of the hair and skin. It is also believed that these properties effectively improve the symptoms of acne, eczema, and rosacea. In addition, flaxseed may help alleviate dry eyes.

7. Promotes weight loss

In an article published in the Journal of Nutrition, researchers discovered that flaxseeds (along with walnuts) might help fight obesity and promote weight loss. The reason is that flaxseed is packed with fiber and healthy fats, which helps increase feelings of fullness (or satiety). Further, healthy fats contained within flaxseeds may also reduce inflammation.

8. Contains important antioxidants

Consuming flaxseed is one of the best ways to get all-important antioxidants. Flax contains potent polyphenols, which provide terrific benefits such as anti-aging and cellular health. Flaxseed may also help correct hormonal imbalances. Polyphenols also help stimulate the growth of probiotics in the gut, which plays an essential role in eliminating harmful bacteria in the body.
9. Contains anti-viral and antibacterial properties

Everybody despises cold and flu season, and nothing (regardless of what some commercials may tell you) is a surefire preventative solution. That said, flaxseed contains some of the most potent anti-viral and antibacterial properties of any food on the market. Simply including a small amount in your morning oatmeal, smoothie, or cereal may be the edge needed to get through another dreadful cold and flu season.

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