Page 1062

3 Differences Between Love and Attachment

September 5, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Are you really in love, or are you settling for having someone?

There is a difference between love and just being attached. Being in love opens your heart and soul to another, surpassing all other forms of attachment. While attachment is the fear of being alone, love is the freedom to be all you can be. Attachment requires that you be in a relationship to function. You cannot handle the loneliness. Love is quite different. It brings out the very best in you.

So what does this mean regarding being in love and being attached?

Understanding the 3 significant differences between love and attachment can change your relationships:

You can start to identify your attachment style by getting to know the four patterns of attachment in adults and learning how they commonly affect couples in their relating.

1. How attachment plays in a relationship.

In their research, Dr. Phillip Shaver and Dr. Cindy Hazan found that about 60 percent of people have a secure attachment (which is a supportive attachment), while 20 percent have an avoidant attachment, and 20 percent have an anxious attachment.

As per Dr. Shaver and Dr. Hazan’s studies, the following are the different attachments in relationships:

Secure Attachment – Securely attached adults are secure in their relationships. It stems from a secure and loving childhood. Secure adults help one another. They show support for their partners, and their relationships are based on love and trust. Secure attachment holds on for true love. They experience the supportive, empathetic, and affectionate desire to give of themselves to another.

Anxious Preoccupied Attachment – Unlike securely attached couples, people with an anxious attachment tend to be desperate to form a fantasy bond. Instead of feeling real love or trust toward their partner, they often feel emotional hunger. They’re frequently looking to their partner to rescue or complete them. Although they’re seeking a sense of safety and security by clinging to their partner, they take actions that push their partner away.
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment – People who attach dismissively tend to withdraw from their partners emotionally. They tend to live alternate lives that can keep them away from their attachment in a relationship. They may begin a relationship and then disappear.
Fearful Avoidant Attachment – A person with fearful avoidant attachment lives in an ambivalent state of being afraid to get too close to their partners, if they even allow themselves to get into a relationship. They will find excuses as not to participate with their mates.

Now, how does love play into these attachment behaviors?

Love requires security and the ability to give and take. A loving relationship is birthed through letting go and allowing another to be who they are. Attachment plays into a relationship through necessity, the need to fulfill emptiness, and sometimes, co-dependency.

2. Love is passionate. Attachment settles for the relationship without desire.

As you’ve read up above, attachments can be unhealthy unless it’s based on security. The secure attachment often stems from love. Passion ignites, and the person feels whole with another. Being attached is apathetic (as in anxious preoccupied attachment or dismissive avoidant attachment). The person only wants to feel needed, even if they know nothing is shared with their partner. In this type of connection, anger and remorse start to build. The person believed they could tolerate certain things, but it isn’t easy to swallow without love. The secret of falling in love is in a state of euphoria. A person who is only attaching can’t feel the depth of desire. They usually don’t like the person, but they fear being without anyone, like in fearful, avoidant attachments.

3. Love is selfless. Attachment is selfish.

Being in love is complete freedom. You want the very best for your mate. You provide the ability to give selflessly. Your partner’s needs come before your own. It’s a state of awareness and acceptance of who you are and what you are in each others’ lives. Love turns your world around. It magnifies other giving emotions. It wants the best for two people, and you want a future together.

A person who is attached to another is selfish. They want what they want when they want it. There is no compromising. They are in a relationship for their welfare. Love requires work, but it’s easy to give. The person who is with another due to attachment only feels the aches of separation when the attention isn’t on them. They want to be another person’s everything without giving a part of themselves. There is a toxic malice to attachment relationships.

Final Thoughts on the Differences Between Love and Attachment

Love is empowering, while attachment is about who has the power. If you find yourself questioning which type of relationship you are in, ask yourself these simple questions: Are you depleting yourself with someone who is not returning the same gestures? Are you staying in a relationship out of fear or because you genuinely love and support that individual? And, how different would life be without your partner? Sometimes it takes a little bit of retrospect to decide if love is the reason you are with another, or if fear of the unknown is dictating the relationship.

Scientists Explain Why Your Body Jerks When You’re Falling Asleep

September 4, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Does your body ever jerk you awake as you are falling asleep.

One moment, we feel ready to sink into deep unconsciousness, and another, we’re being jolted back into reality. How rude of us to do that to…us.

Has this ever happened to you? Turns out that it’s happened to most of us; for some people, it occurs on an all-too-frequent basis. If you’re like most, you’ve probably wondered why this happens. Indeed, it is a strange (even frightening) spectacle.

“Hypnagogic Jerks”

That’s what our shrewd friends in white lab coats are calling this phenomenon: a hypnagogic jerk. The name is derived from the hypnagogic state – the transitional period between wakefulness and sleep. Hypnagogic jerks are often referred to as hypnic jerks.

Hypnic jerks generally involve sudden, erratic movement (i.e., twitches or spasms) of the arms, legs, or entire body. Most often, hypnic jerks occur while trying to drift off to sleep. Interestingly, many people experience the sensation of falling immediately before sudden muscle twitches and abrupt awakening.

Has Your Body Ever Jerked Suddenly Falling Asleep? Here’s The Meaning Behind It…

Researchers are not entirely sure as to the physiological rationale of hypnic jerks, although there are plenty of accepted theories. Most scientists and physicians believe these jerks result from the brain transitioning to a lower frequency. Our brains produce high levels of activity from the moment we awake to the time we begin to “unwind” in the evening; hence, it seems plausible that the brain will, at times, attempt to regain this natural state of activity.

Another common theory is how the brain responds to bodily exhaustion. More specifically, when we’re highly fatigued, the brain will sometimes transition to the first stage of sleep too quickly instead of following a slower and more natural progression.

Usually, in the first stage of falling asleep, respiratory activity and heart rate slow down; the body “stills,” and our state of sleep is relatively light. According to the defense mechanism theory, when our bodies reach this state too quickly due to exhaustion, the brain may interpret it as a threat and initiate a jerking response.

What about that falling sensation?

As for the feelings of falling? Scientists are pretty confident these episodes result from the brain sensing equilibrium imbalance – a lack of stabilization. Ever leaned back too far in a chair and jerked forward to maintain balance? Felt faint when standing up too quickly? The brain can also signal the body to regain stability if it senses an imbalance. Similar to the prior theories, this also is an involuntary defense mechanism of the brain.

We all need quality sleep to be productive. As mentioned, our brains send and receive massive amounts of information throughout the day – and sleep is necessary for the brain to allocate, organize, process, and store this influx of information. Furthermore, sleep allows the brain to solidify and consolidate memories. This is particularly important when converting short-term into long-term memory. Hypnic jerks can disrupt our normal sleep pattern, mainly when they occur regularly.

Which leads to the question: can hypnic jerks be avoided?

The simple answer is both yes and no. Apologies, as that isn’t a simple answer. Here’s some elaboration. The human brain is a remarkably complex organ, producing stimuli that is sometimes unexpected (thus unexplainable). As is common knowledge, the brain operates typically at frequencies within specific ranges depending on the activity. For example, these predictable range frequencies allow us to maintain a regular sleep/wake cycle.

Sometimes, the brain involuntarily produces signals beyond normal, expected frequency ranges. We experience these anomalies in several ways (e.g. daydreaming, losing track of time), including in our sleep/wake cycles. Jet lag is another common sleep disruptor caused by involuntary, erratic brain activity.

That said, there are a few things scientists do know. First, sleep deprivation is a trigger of hypnic jerking. Not getting the recommended amount of sleep (seven to nine hours) frequently can lead to hypnic jerking. Pulling an all-nighter for work or studying is counterproductive and can result in jerking awake. Excessive consumption of alcohol or nicotine, especially before bedtime, can have us twitching ourselves awake.

Final Thoughts: Develop Good Habits for Falling Asleep

Granted, this is a humdrum and bland answer…but it’s very accurate. Practicing good sleep habits: going to bed and waking at the same time; abstaining from alcohol and nicotine; getting seven to nine hours regularly; putting the tablet/cell phone/laptop away; tackling complex tasks early; limiting the amount of light during sleep time; etc. etc. etc. will help limit those jerking episodes. More importantly, though, we’ll be our most productive selves.

In summation, hypnic jerks are annoying and even frightening, but they’re not dangerous. Heck, they’re not even a sleep disorder. The preeminent organization of sleeping behaviors – the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) – estimates that nearly seventy percent of people experience hypnic jerks at some point.

(Now, should these twitching episodes become a regular occurrence, it may indicate a disorder such as chronic insomnia. Of course, a doctor’s appointment would be wise in such cases. However, a sleep disorder originating from hypnic jerks is very rare.)

As one smart feller at NSF says: “There are no serious consequences, it won’t give you a heart attack or anything – the worst that can happen is you jerk so hard that you fall out of bed.”

So, if you should tumble from your delightful resting place, jump back under the covers and shut those eyes. You needn’t worry your little sleeping head about it.

Researchers Reveal How Parents Create Narcissistic Children

September 4, 2016 by Kristen Lawrence

Most parents have had nightmares about their children, one of which may include producing a narcissistic child who then becomes a narcissistic adult let loose in the world. However, most parents want to raise a kind, mentally stable child who will become an upstanding citizen in their community.

Parents rarely act intentionally to harm their child’s future; mostly, they do the very best they can with the skills and knowledge they have. Knowing that you have good intentions in parenting your child should give you a sense of pride in your child-rearing so far. We want you to remain cautious about how much love, praise, and freedom you give your child. Like most things in life, too much of anything can become detrimental.

We will look at the one unhealthy parenting trait that plays the most significant role in producing a selfish child, according to research. Also, we will discuss how you can avoid this behavior while raising a child, along with signs of narcissism in children.

Researchers Reveal: This ONE Parenting Trait Produces The Most Narcissistic Children

Narcissistic children become narcissistic adults. Narcissistic adults tend to act out against their fellow man rather than being supportive members of the greater society they live in. Narcissists act aggressive and entitled because they see themselves as superior to others. Therefore, they don’t feel concerned about others’ needs and make themselves the priority in every situation.

Researchers at Ohio State University and Holland’s University of Amsterdam tested the theory that giving children too little warmth, comfort, and love would produce narcissism. The team found that praising children more than they deserve based on their effort, skills, and performance caused more harm than good.

The researchers found that narcissistic children tend to learn their spoiled behavior from parents who treat their children as perfect, superior, or more special than other children. So, if you want to avoid raising narcissistic children, avoid overly praising your child.

How to Recognize Narcissistic Children

A narcissistic child acts selfishly. They feel entitled to better treatment than other children or even entitled to better treatment than you. Selfish people base their self-esteem and worth on the recognition that others give them. An easily recognizable example of this would be a child or teenager who feels depressed when they don’t receive enough likes on their social media posts.

Narcissistic children also tend to act more aggressively than other children and have a higher risk of anxiety problems or drug addiction. When they don’t receive the praise they believe they deserve, they may self-harm or act out in violent ways. Therefore, the problem stems from their belief systems, which they learned from their parents.

The following behavioral problems may reveal narcissism in children:

• Interpersonal relationship problems

Narcissistic children often display a lack of empathy in relationships with others. They will appear cold, mean, aloof to the needs of others, and even manipulative at times. Children with a heightened risk of narcissism will attempt to control others, believing they lack proper judgment. From the outside, it may seem as though they want to help others, but they want to display their intellect and superiority.

Relationships with others will seem one-sided because a narcissistic child can’t understand the needs of others. Their parents may have either coddled or neglected them, and these extremes can lead to self-centered behavior as a survival mechanism.

• Problems in school

Narcissistic children may believe they know more than their instructors and frequently challenge them to debate or criticize their teaching style. They also tend to interrupt the teacher and speak without raising their hand first.

On the other hand, narcissistic children could also act aloof and uninterested in the material because of their inflated egos. For instance, they may appear bored because they have already learned the lesson or may pretend to know more than they do.

• Impulsive behaviors and a low tolerance for frustration

Children who have a propensity for narcissism may have learned to scorn mediocrity from their parents. They never feel satisfied with their achievements and continually seek new ways to prove their worth. They may act impulsively and make rash decisions to feel some semblance of excitement. However, when they don’t get their way, they become easily frustrated or bored.

• Mood swings, irritability, and fluctuating self-esteem

A selfish child may appear confident, but they suffer from low self-esteem. Inside, they have no stable sense of identity, most often because of a turbulent upbringing. Therefore, the child tends to act out and becomes irritable at the slightest inconvenience.

• Lying, stealing, or breaking rules

Narcissistic children believe they’re above the rules and don’t respect boundaries. They have no remorse and may engage in nefarious behaviors like lying or stealing from a young age. Children who grew up in households without clear rules may have a more challenging time understanding the laws in society. Therefore they do whatever it takes to maintain their inflated self-image, even if that means harming others.

• Arrogance and constant need for attention

Inside, narcissistic children have very low self-esteem, but they put on a mask to protect themselves. Others see them as arrogant and haughty and may even fear the consequences if they get on their wrong side. The child will constantly seek attention and praise from others to keep up this image of superiority.

• Self-doubts and intense envy of others

Narcissistic children will constantly compare themselves to others to see how they measure up. They never feel good enough because they require continuous attention and admiration from others. If they don’t receive this attention from others, they begin to question their self-worth. For instance, the selfish child may become intensely jealous when other students earn a higher test score. As a result, they may belittle their classmates to re-establish their dominance and superiority.

So, in summary, praising your children can help them learn which behaviors are desirable. However, too much praise can cause more harm than good, as they may believe they’re unique or better than others. Dr. Bleiberg, a child psychologist with over twenty years of experience studying narcissistic children, says they often appear lonely, angry, empty, and envious.

Hope for Narcissistic Children

If you have consciously or unknowingly been overly praising your children, you can still learn a different parenting style. Changing your parenting behavior moving forward will help instill healthy self-esteem in your child without leading to narcissism. Although frequently praising your child may seem like the correct course of action, you may have inadvertently given them an over-inflated ego.

Instead, create situations that allow your children to learn that they don’t always have to win. Let them fail at a sport or an exam that doesn’t affect their grade too much. Or, praise another child who shows traits of selflessness instead of honoring your child. Please encourage your children to make friends so that you aren’t inadvertently sheltering them from criticism from others. Even better, teach them empathy and kindness.

Above all else, teach your children that their self-worth shouldn’t come from achievements. Help them develop a loving relationship with themselves, and don’t put too much emphasis on their accomplishments. Praise them when they do well, but make sure they enjoy activities for their own sake, not just for their rewards.

Developing a personal identity, learning to set and honor boundaries, and balancing both independence and asking for help are all a part of growing up. These skills are lacking in the selfish child, but they can be taught.

When you change your behavior but don’t see results from your child, you may need to seek professional help. Learning healthy behaviors in childhood will allow your child to flourish into a well-rounded adult. They should receive therapy in childhood since a child can change more quickly than an adult, anyway.

Final Thoughts on How Parents Create Narcissistic Children

Parents may unknowingly create narcissistic children by praising them too much for their accomplishments. The children may associate their achievements with love and believe that no one will like them unless they prove their worth. This sets them up for an unstable self-image and unhealthy desires for power and success.

Instead, teach your children that love comes from showing kindness and empathy for others. If you show them warmth and affection while also establishing rules, they will learn how to become a well-rounded adult. Children who grow into narcissistic adults have often been coddled or neglected from an early age. It’s best to find a balance in parenting where the child doesn’t feel too smothered or too rejected, on the other hand.

However, you could do everything right as a parent and still have a narcissistic child. When it becomes more than you can handle, seek professional help from someone experienced in child psychology. After all, it truly takes a village to raise a healthy, happy child.

10 Ways To Beat a TV Addiction

September 4, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You may not think you have a TV addiction, but as soon as someone mentions shutting off the tube during one of your favorite shows, you might just lose your cool. But, are you really addicted to the TV or do you just really enjoy your favorite shows? There is a fine line between having a TV watching hobby and having an addiction.

TV addiction is a relatively new phenomenon for humans since it wasn’t widely available until the 1950’s. Now, we can watch TV programs online, on our smart phones, and we have smart TVs to help us watch too. The variety and availability of TV programming is making this a more serious issue for some people than it used to be.

Have you ever wished you had more time in the day? Your TV addiction could be keeping you from being able to do the things that you wish you could get done. We spend an average of 2.8 hours per day watching TV and it is the most popular thing to do with our free time. In this article, we will discuss when watching TV becomes an addiction that you might need to break, as well as 10 ways to successfully end your need for the screen.

10 Ways To Break Your TV Addiction

An addiction is a loss of control over your behavior patterns. Breaking an addiction is more challenging than breaking a habit, and that is one of the ways that you can tell the difference between having an addiction to something and just really liking it.

Researchers looked at technology addiction in a study at the University of Plymouth. They say that the following are signs of a TV addiction:

* Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you aren’t able to watch TV

* Thinking about the next time you will be able to watch TV

* Feeling euphoric when you watch TV, as if you were getting a buzz off of it

* Relationship problems or social withdrawal

* Frustration, anger, or aggressive behavior toward others who interfere with your TV watching

In research supported by a grant from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the scientists say that TV may be an addiction when ‘one may feel a subjective craving to view television a great deal to achieve a sense of satiation, become preoccupied with the idea of viewing television, not be able to predict how long one will watch TV (loss of control), and suffer negative life consequences as the result.’

The researchers say ‘there does appear to be a phenomenon of television addiction, at least for some people. TV addicts are likely watch TV to satiate certain appetitive motives, demonstrate preoccupation with TV, report lacking control over their TV viewing, and experience various role, social, or even secondary physical (sedentary lifestyle) consequences due to their out of control viewing.’

1. Pick just one or two favorite shows to watch

I can hear you resisting right now, but honestly, you can probably watch anything that you love online at any time. It doesn’t have to be right now. Pick one or two shows that you love the most, the ones that bring you joy, and eliminate anything else.

2. Find a healthy substitute

Instead of TV, you could involve your family in a game night, an evening walk, or a visit to your favorite badminton spot. Activities like these bring you together for happy, interactive moments. When you watch TV, you rarely interact with each other, which can feel isolating even while you are together.

3. Involve your friends, relatives, and roommates for support

Tell people you love that you want to break your TV addiction. Ask them to hold you accountable to watching it less often. Text reminders might be great or they can call you when you tell them that you need help putting down the remote.

4. Make rules about how and when you watch

You can watch your favorite show IF you have read a chapter of a book that you want to read. Or you can watch TV IF you made a healthy home cooked meal and did your chores first.

5. Set a timer

Make a decision to watch 2 hours or less per day and stick to it by turning the TV off when the timer sounds.

6. Figure out why you need the TV in your life

TV might be filling an empty space in your heart. Are you happy without it? Why or why not? What else could fill that void for you?

7. If TV didn’t exist, what would you be doing?

Let’s say that there is no more TV, what would you spend your time doing? What goals are you failing to achieve because TV is draining your time?

8. Evaluate your TV habits like you watch what you eat

Junk food? No. Junk TV should bring the same reaction for you. If you aren’t benefiting from what you see, shut it off.

9. Get outside

Fresh air, sunshine, moving your body, and looking at nature are all excellent ways to improve your mood instead of vegetating.

10. Get help

Anytime you feel out of control and you have done your best to change on your own, seek the help of a licensed counselor.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

A Beautiful Message For Anyone Trying To Find Love…

September 4, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Whenever we hear the term, “finding love,” we immediately think of relationships: the ones from the past and the ones we dream of having. There are so many ways of finding love in our lives. We fall in love with ourselves, with work, with strangers, and with nature. We fall in love with life, creativity, and situations.

Love expands and contracts with our response. What we put out, we receive in the most beautiful of ways. The most ultimate form of love is the one we give to another unconditionally.

“A new meta-analysis study conducted by Syracuse University Professor Stephanie Ortigue reveals falling in love can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affects intellectual areas of the brain. Researchers also found falling in love only takes about a fifth of a second.”

We find love through the things we know. We live based on our environment and the evolution of experiences. If we think less, we become less. If we aspire for more, we expect more. In love, there is no limitation, no capacity, no measurement exceeding or sufficiency to the heart.

Love is the greatest emotion of all. The more opened the heart is, the easier the vastness of light and love appears. No one escapes from the broken heart. To love is to risk everything just to experiment with the unknown. What an amazing teacher love becomes once we know and understand that the reason we live is to allow for it to be!

Love is complicated

It is heart-wrenching to move past the devastation of falling in love and being hurt. It’s hard to cope with rejection, loss, and the memories. But, we are created with the power to surpass challenges and grow from them. Love isn’t meant to be kept for the self. Yes, self-love is number one. We need to have the most incredible love for ourselves, because you cannot give what you don’t possess.

Love is about giving and taking and knowing all boundaries of compassion. In selflessness lies the seed to unconditional love. There is no imposing or expecting, because love just is. In that lack of pushing and forcing, respect and appreciation are born into a relationship.

Love is sharing a path without forcing the other to mimic your steps or expecting them to see what you are witnessing. It requires the allowance and letting go of egotism. Love is something you can’t give without possessing; something you can’t trust without living it; and something you can’t understand without comprehending. The most powerful tool in the universe is the easiest to discard, reject and fear.

The moment we are born we are all experts and volunteers in this experiment. Each heartache is an opportunity to expand and grow. Each person who passes into your life provides the ability to love yourself deeper. In turn, each circumstance you overcome creates space for more empathy, kindness, and adoration for another. Do not shut love out of your life.

Love is strength

Use love as the strength to keep going, and push through all obstacles. You should not forget all the beauty love brings. If you can fall in love in a fifth of a second, imagine what you can give in hours and days. The depth is priceless.

We find love in the strangest places. We look into the eyes of our children when they are born and cannot believe love could be so flawless and perfect. Also, we remember the kindness and security of love when we see our elderly parents holding us in their legacy. Love calls to be found in every place. It nudges and urges us to open the heart again and let a new person reside.

We recognize it in the need to watch a romantic movie or read an inspiring article. We are moved to tears through a delicate passage of words that tug into our memories. Everywhere we look, love beacons for attention. It is the purest language of the universe.

Final thoughts on the quest to find love

Fall in love often and deeply. Don’t hold back. Allow your soul to feel the crevices of another who sees you. In order to find love, you must be the love. Let love gift you with its vibrations. We are created in the image of love, with love, for love. Do not allow hopelessness to dictate what is naturally available to you. You deserve all the love you give to the world.

“When you graduate from ‘Being In Love’ to ‘Loving Someone’ you understand – Love is not about owning, Love is about wanting the best for them, It’s about seeing or Helping them achieve great heights, with or without you. Love is not what you say, it’s what you do.” ~ Wordions

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Research Reveals Why Men Are Less Sensitive Than Women (And Why It’s A Good Thing)

September 4, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We’ve all heard or experienced the fact that women seem to have more empathy than men, but this doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Before we lived in modern times, men would hunt, work on shelters, protect, gather materials, and in general, do more tasks geared toward survival. Women, on the other hand, took the role of the caregiver, the nurturer, and the peacekeeper. Women would stay near the shelters to gather food, take care of the children, bond with other moms nearby, and do more of the “emotional labor” that comes along with raising children.

Today, in our modern world, much about these traditional roles have been changed, however, the chemicals that cause women to have more empathy than men still exist. Obviously, women and men are different in many ways, and this includes the hormones that make up each of them. We associate men with being tough, protecting their families, and showing aggressive behavior at times. This happens due to high levels of testosterone, whereas women obviously have lower levels. In this article, we’ll talk about what exactly causes men to be less sensitive than women, and why this might be a positive thing.

Research Reveals Why Men Are Less Sensitive Than Women (And Why It’s A Good Thing)

According to a study in the journal Psychoneuroendicinology, testosterone actually reduces connectivity in brain regions that control feeling empathy towards others, and how we use that emotion to make decisions. In other words, men have more testosterone, which makes them less concerned with connecting emotionally to others. Is this bad? Well, it can be frustrating(especially if you’re a woman), but men naturally feel less emotions in order to take care of survival. Despite modern society’s tendency to steer clear of gender roles, men are hard-wired to not let their emotions get in the way of logical thinking, in order to protect their families and not get caught up in emotional turmoil.

The research in the study linked above was done by scientists from Utrecht University. The researchers aimed to confirm conclusions reached in previous studies in which women performed better than men in tasks that measured empathetic abilities. During these studies, participants had to complete Reading the Mind in Eyes Tests (RMET), in which they had to determine the emotions of the person they looked at solely from their eyes.

The researchers believed that testosterone made the males perform worse than the females, so they designed a new experiment to see how the hormone influenced success, all while tracking the effects of testosterone on the brain.

The researchers gathered 16 female participants, and used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to measure their brain activity while they completed the RMET. By looking at the brain scans, they found that a brain region called the inferior frontal gyrus (IFG) became activated when they had to link an emotion to an image, which suggests that this part of the brain plays an important role in empathizing with others.

After this, the researchers gave half of the participants a large dose of testosterone, which would raise their blood levels of the hormone by ten, while the other half received a placebo.

After the females repeated the test, researchers found that those who had been given testosterone took significantly longer to identify the emotions represented in the pictures compared to those given a placebo, which suggests that testosterone does indeed inhibit one’s ability to empathize with others.

Furthermore, FMRI scans during the second test showed reduced connectivity between the IFG and two other important areas – the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) and the supplementary motor area (SMA) – after the researchers administered testosterone. The ACC plays a role in transforming emotional states into overall cognitive processes, while the SMA controls initiation of voluntary actions.

Based on this conclusion, the researchers suggest that testosterone inhibits one’s ability to empathize with others, and use these feelings in decision-making and actions. Since they didn’t measure the behavioral effects of higher testosterone levels, however, they can only speculate how this hormone would affect real-world interactions.

3 Messages You Should Send Your Partner Every Day

September 4, 2016 by Power of Positivity

When you are in a relationship for a long time, you get to know your partner so well and you are so comfortable, that both of you can sit next to each other without feeling the need to fill the silence with chatter or idle messages. We fall into habits, we say “Good morning.” How was your day?” “What would you like to eat for dinner?” by memory.

It is like we have our own little script from day to day. But, there are some special messages you should make sure you send everyday.

We all want our significant other to send us messages that make us smile and make our hearts open up to joy. However, not all of them have to be a Pablo Neruda poem:

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

Here are 3 messages you should send to your partner everyday as a reminder that they are appreciated:

1. “Good Morning, Gorgeous!”

Make sure you let your partner know that you still find them attractive. Sometimes this is all a person needs to make it through a busy and stressful day. Most of us are concerned with how we look and feel everyday. This is especially true as we get older and it becomes harder to find time for the gym or a walk with busy schedules and the exhaustion that comes with it.

To have our partner affirm that we are still attractive to them can banish the negative thoughts we have about our bodies for awhile. And, who doesn’t like to feel wanted and needed? Who doesn’t like to feel a little sexy? There is nothing sweeter than the reminder that we are still beautiful in the eyes of our beloved.

No matter if it’s been 10 days or 40 years, we all want to feel special.

2. “Wonder Twin Powers Activate!”

If you don’t get the Wonder Twin reference, Google it. It doesn’t have to be this exact phrase as long as it is silly, goofy, nostalgic, funny and, most importantly, an inside joke just between the two of you. Also, change it up and don’t use the same phrase every day. Be creative. It says to your partner that you are thinking of them and that you are in a good mood. People in good moods are contagious to others, especially your partner. Even if you are in a crappy mood, fake it till you feel it.

It also says that you are in this together and can conquer any challenges as a team. After all, it is the two of you against the world. Humor ignites the beautiful energy of positivity.

Author Tina Tessina, of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free says:

“If you’re really interested in making your relationship work, little rituals are a great way to do it. Every marriage has what I call a relationship reservoir, or the stored-up emotional energy of the relationship. And although these daily habits are all very simple things, they help fill that reservoir. When there’s a lot of positive energy there, you give each other a little pat on the butt or say, “I’m so glad I’m sharing my life with you,” and you’re storing it up. Then when the relationship is under stress, you’ll have the energy you need to get through.”

3. “I Am Grateful For Having You In My Life.”

Everyone wants to feel that what they do is appreciated by those they do it for. Your partner is no exception, and making sure they know just how grateful you are everyday can ease their daily stress. It gives them a purpose, an answer to the question. Why am I doing this? Indeed, it serves a reminder, from your family, that what you do everyday matters to them and is appreciated. It can really lighten your load when you are feeling burdened by life’s hardships.

There is nothing worse than an ungrateful person, and letting your partner know they are appreciated can prevent feelings of resentment or bitterness at having to work long hard hours, be away from home on business, or work a stressful job. You are giving your partner a sense of relief with those simple sweet words.

The messages are really unimportant as long as you are letting your partner know that they are loved, appreciated and still bring joy and humor into each others lives. Making sure you let your partner know these things every single day can make a relationship last even through tough times.

Your partner will know you have their back, that you are a team, and even in the toughest times you can still laugh and joke around with each other. After all, laughter is the best medicine!

5 Signs Your Job Is Sucking The Soul Out of You

September 4, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We’ve all been fed the same message throughout our lives: get good grades, go to a decent college, find a great job, settle down, pay taxes and student loans, work your butt off, retire, and then live your life. Sound familiar? Well, for many, it’s a broken record, and they wish they could turn it off somehow. Not just turn off the advice and the dogma, but the rigid system we’ve all been born into. We live in such a conditioned, programmed culture where people feel they have no way out, like they have to follow the lifestyle that’s been forced upon them.

However, you came to this life to feel happy, vibrant, and fulfilled, not beat down and worn out from working 50 plus hours a week in a job you absolutely hate. Maybe generations before us had different ideals, but this generation is the one to stand up and do things our way. We’re all tired of working for the man, giving away 50+ hours of our time, and trying to make ends meet, only to have almost half our dollars taken away in taxes. We’ve all grown exhausted of the rat race, and want a better way.

This is to all those creators, dreamers, doers, believers, and trend-setters out there that don’t believe in following societal norms. We have to spend so much time in our lives working, so why not choose something you really enjoy? If you have been thinking of an exit strategy when it comes to your job, keep on reading, because it’s probably time to call it quits.

5 Signs Your Job Is Sucking The Soul Out of You

1. You dread waking up every morning.

If we live our passions, we should wake up each day feeling excited, rejuvenated, and filled with life. Living your passion means never growing tired of your work, because you feel in your heart that you came here to do it. It means living your truth, and not accepting the life someone else designed for you. However, if you don’t get these feelings from your job, then you need to leave ASAP.

If we have to spend so much of our lives working, then why waste all that time doing things we don’t really love? We only get one chance here, so we have to make the most of it. Dreading your job means you definitely need to reevaluate what you want in life, and why you keep going back to the job you hate.

If you’ve grown tired of waking up to a shrill alarm, sitting in traffic for hours, only to sit in a cubicle for 8-10 hours, only to sit in traffic again on the way home, only to have no time for yourself once you get there, then you need to get honest with yourself.

What do you truly desire from this life?

2. You feel shackled to your job because of bills.

Now, this is understandable. We all have to survive, and honestly, most people keep their miserable jobs just because they have bills to pay. Of course, we have to work for basic needs in today’s world, but how about if you look at what you need vs what you want? When it comes down to it, we only need a few things: food, water, shelter, clothing, stable relationships, and a passion in life. A couple of those things don’t require money. What we’re getting at here is, if you want to live a simpler life, then you’ll have to accept downsizing and only buying what you truly need. If you don’t like your job and want to spend more time living and less time working, then just evaluate what you need in life, and how much you have to work to attain those needs.

Can you sell your car, house, or other expensive possessions in favor of traveling or riding a bike instead? Can you room with others so that your bills become cheaper? You can always, always minimize your possessions and lifestyle, so that you don’t HAVE to depend so much on a job to get you by. Plenty of people in today’s world choose to travel long-term instead of staying in one place, and if you do it right, you can actually spend less traveling than you would by working.

In short, live your dreams, and don’t worry so much about money. You can always get rid of bills and minimize your life. Don’t be a slave to the dollar.

3. You only live for the weekends.

Another indicator that you hate your job and need to quit is that you find yourself counting the days until the weekend. You look at the calendar and start to plan out your two days off each week, because that’s all the time you have to yourself. Well, if you find yourself living for tomorrow, then you need to question how you spend today. Why do you keep working if you don’t like it? Of course, money, right? Well, in today’s world, you can earn money in thousands of different ways. Get creative; it’s never been easier to be your own boss, get into investing, and really create your own future.

4. You don’t feel fulfilled by your work.

All of us need a passion and purpose in life. If you don’t enjoy what you spend most of your time doing, then you need to evaluate what you’d rather be doing, and why you work somewhere you despise. Our hearts came here to shine in their truest form, and when you work doing something unfulfilling, you’re dimming your shine. You’re killing that spark inside your soul, and you deserve better.

Most people don’t like their jobs, though; in fact, a Gallup poll found that only 31.5% of people in America are actively engaged at work, and the rest are classified as actively disengaged or not engaged. This means around 70% of people don’t like their jobs, and this is only data from the U.S. Imagine what the global figures would look like.

5. You feel like you’ve lost yourself.

A lot of us in the working world feel a bit lost, and why wouldn’t we? We’ve been thrown into modern enslavement, and many of us don’t even realize this. We spend so much time doing things for other people, making sure the business runs smoothly, making sure the electric company gets their money, but what about us? What about what makes our hearts soar?

Never forget yourself in the rat race, and don’t compromise on your beliefs. You can live life however you choose, so don’t let corporate overlords and others try to dictate your life.

If you feel lost, leave your job and take time to find yourself again. We live in the matrix, it’s true, but we don’t have to attach ourselves to it. Learn to rise above the expectations, the pressure, the stress, and everything else trying to pull you down. You are not just your title, your income, your home, car, reputation, image, and all of those other ways we classify people. You are a cosmic ray of light, and you came here to shine.

So, follow your heart, give your two week’s notice, and keep on searching, because your purpose is out there. Take back your soul, and follow your bliss. It’s never too late to begin a new chapter.

Exorcist Explains How to Tell If Someone Is Possessed

September 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Of course, most of us would like to believe that people can’t become possessed, and demonic entities don’t exist. After you read this article, you might still hold that belief, and we don’t wish to change your mind. However, if you find the subject interesting, one of the leading exorcists in the world just shared some of his wisdom regarding the topic. Maybe you just don’t know how to spot the signs of possession, so this exorcist will clear all of the fog about the subject.

Exorcist Reveals: If These Things Happen, You May Be Possessed

Father Cipriano de Meo, who has been doing exorcisms for 64 years now, told the Italian Catholic News Agency that you can tell whether you’ve been possessed or suffer from some sort of mental illness based on your reaction to the exorcist and the prayers themselves.

He explained that the exorcist will usually say “a prolonged prayer to the point where if the Adversary is present, there’s a reaction. A possessed person has various general attitudes towards an exorcist, who is seen by the Adversary as an enemy ready to fight him.”

Of course, the adversary here is the demonic entity. Demons fear exorcists and cause extreme reactions in the person they choose to possess, because the demon only cares about keeping its energy intact. If the exorcist expels the demon, it will have no place to call home anymore. Demons feed off the energy of humans, and therefore, can be considered a form of “energy vampire.”

If you are possessed, you won’t respond well to the exorcist’s prayers. It might not happen like it does in the movies, but you will experience adverse reactions to the words being said.

Father de Meo said: “There’s no lack of frightening facial expressions, threatening words or gestures and other things, but especially blasphemies against God and Our Lady.”

In short, you’ll know when something takes over you, because you’ll feel totally out of control and unsettled.

You might still not believe in exorcisms or demons, and of course exorcists themselves understand this. Furthermore, the Catholic Church also knows that those who have a tendency to become possessed and experience symptoms might not actually have a demonic presence inside of them, but may have another mental illness. You probably will never get to see a possessed person in your lifetime (and thank goodness for that).

The Catechism of the Catholic Church talks about knowing the difference between mental illness and demonic possession: “Exorcism is directed at the expulsion of demons or to the liberation from demonic possession through the spiritual authority which Jesus entrusted to his Church. Illness, especially psychological illness, is a very different matter; treating this is the concern of medical science. Therefore, before an exorcism is performed, it is important to ascertain that one is dealing with the presence of the Evil One, and not an illness.”

In 2015, many exorcists gathered at the Vatican to undergo training to understand differences between mental health issues and demonic possession.

In the unlikely event you’d like to become an exorcist yourself, Father de Meo runs a school where you can get the training you need, and has been doing so for 13 years. In today’s world, you might actually get use out of your schooling, because in 2014, the International Association of Exorcists (AIE) found that a rise in occult activity led to a “pastoral emergency”.

How can you avoid getting possessed? Well, the Catholic Church believes it starts with prayer, which leads to a pure, sinless life, according to the church. You should also avoid anything dealing with Satan, revealing the future, or attempting to talk to the dead.

Furthermore, the Catechism states: “Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.”

You can do with this information what you will, and we can’t tell you what to believe or not believe. However, if you or someone you know has ever dealt with demonic possession, we hope you find this information useful and informative.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!