Finding the right partner to love IS possible. But there is a process that clever people follow to lead them to find the right person at the right place and the right time. Let’s look at seven things you can do to be clever about your choice of partner.
7 Things Clever People Do Differently To Find The Right Partner
1. Think intentionally about what you want
Do you want someone who is rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, intelligent or uneducated? These and other qualities should be things that you can write down in a list to better help you identify the type of person who is right for you.
Researchers at Yale University and the University of Michigan looked at the following traits and preferences for them among people who were looking for the right partner:
- Kind and considerate
- Socially exciting
- Professional status
- Wants children
- Artistic and intelligent
- Politically conservative
- Easygoing and adaptable
The research found that when it comes to preferences in finding the right partner, men more than women preferred mates who were physically attractive and women more than men preferred mates who showed good earning potential and who were college-educated. The top three personality traits that people preferred in a potential partner were being kind and considerate, having an exciting personality, and intelligence.
2. Be the person you want to meet and fall in love with
Like attracts like, as the Law of Attraction tells us, so if you are looking for a sexy, confident, healthy person, make sure to work on developing those qualities in yourself in order to meet the right partner.
3. Play the field
The odds are against you if you only date from one group of people. Expand your search to other social groups that you might not normally encounter, people who have different hobbies or interests, and even as far away as foreign countries where the right partner might be hiding.
Date multiple people to get an idea for the type of single people who are available to you as you continue to look for the right partner.
4. Get the opinions of your friends and family
If you’d like to keep your friends after you get married, make sure that they think your partner is a smart choice for you. A word of caution here; clever people know that some of the opinions of their family members may be colored by the traditions that they were raised with. Socially, we have evolved much since your parents’ generation, so take their advice with a grain of salt. Also, cultural norms tend to favor men finding suitable wives who are able to bear children, and you may or may not be looking to have kids.
Researchers at the Institute of Behavioral Sciences in Hungary studied couples who stayed together long-term and found that couples whose wives were younger and less educated than their husbands lasted longer than other couples did. Men looking for younger wives makes biological sense for reproduction, and it is possible that they seek a less educated partner who will be less likely to have a career of her own which might take her away from the house and caring for children.
5. Focus on your needs, then on your wants
Making sure that you find a partner who can meet your needs is one thing that clever people do when looking for a mate. Take an honest assessment of yourself and what you really need from the right partner to feel happy. Do you need frequent physical touch or do you need a partner who will respect your need for space? Do you need quiet time or do you need an active, fun social life to feel fulfilled? A partner who can meet your needs is a smart find because you know they will listen when you then tell them what you want.
6. Keep your emotions in check
Sure, love is grand, but it also changes and develops over time. The way you feel about your partner after five years is different from the love you feel for them now. Often, passionate love fades and changes into companionship and deep affection for each other. If you think you feel a spark for a person, make sure to check your emotions. Then put a hold on them until you can be smart about making the right partner choice.
7. Tune in to your intuition
Your gut instinct is a powerful tool to tell you that you are either on the right or wrong track when it comes to being wise about choosing the right partner. There is no other substitute for that ‘it just feels right’ feeling. Trust the physical sensation of tightness or warmth that you can feel under your ribcage between your heart and your stomach. This spot, when you learn to tune into it, will guide you to the right choices more often than not.