These Relationship Sacrifices Aren’t Worth It, According to Psychology

August 28, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’ve learned that they require sacrifice. Still, some relationship sacrifices cause pain and disappointment. No matter how much you love someone, you must look after yourself. This can make the difference between a toxic and healthy romance.

Do you know the saying “love conquers all”? Be aware that you should take that with a grain of salt. Sometimes, love drives people insane and makes them irrational. And this can push you towards making all the wrong sacrifices. If you aren’t careful, you might sacrifice your dreams, integrity, happiness, and safety. The relationships that push you to offer that much are the ones that will scar you the most.

You will have nothing but a crazy, toxic, and co-dependent relationship. To have a healthy romance, you must learn which boundaries to enforce. Plus, it’s always better to end something that will eventually burst into flames than to sacrifice everything.

Why Do Relationships Become Toxic?

You might not want to believe that making too many relationship sacrifices is anything but beneficial. So, to better understand why that’s true, you need to know why an otherwise healthy romance can become toxic. If two toxic people get together, the relationship will inevitably be toxic. But often, only one person is unhealthy from the get-go. Or, even more common, it’s for neither of the people to be harmful. So, how do people who seem utterly healthy end up in bad relationships?

They sacrifice too much until it ends up eating away at them. When someone feels their needs are invalidated, they inevitably become worse. When people sacrifice too much, they give up on things they value. Maybe they give up on their freedom or individuality to appease the other person. Slowly, all these relationship sacrifices start to change you as a person. The more you give up, the moodier and sadder you’ll be. This is especially true if you don’t get something in return. Most of the time, these sacrifices are taken for granted if you don’t set boundaries.

So, your partner might quickly get used to them and expect you always to sacrifice. They will stop acknowledging your efforts to the point where you won’t feel appreciated. You’ll also be less likely to have your needs and wants to be respected and met by your partner. The inevitable power imbalance resulting from too many relationship sacrifices is at the core of this problem. There are two possibilities: you’re either the one who sacrifices everything or you both sacrifice more than you should. In the first case, you’ll end up being taken advantage of.

If your partner knows they can make you do anything, they’ll push you to the limit. Even though they are supposed to love you, they’ll still break you if that means they have something to gain. In the second case, you’ll keep swapping the power from one to the other. At some point, you’ll be “in charge,” so to say. And, when you lose that power, the other gains it. So, it’s a constant state of back and forth, with a sacrifice at the center of the problem. When you sacrifice, you lose the power, and you get taken advantage of.

This is not the only reason why relationships become toxic. But relationship sacrifice is and will always be a tricky subject. That’s not to say you should never make any sacrifices. You need to learn how and when to sacrifice. Setting boundaries and communicating are essential to any healthy romance. So, which relationship sacrifices should you avoid and why?

Which Relationship Sacrifices Aren’t Worth It?

1. Sacrificing Your Career

People’s careers are just as important, if not more important, than your romantic relationships. While it’s true that some people value romance above all else, it’s undeniable that everyone needs to have a salary. But there’s something vital that you should note. There’s a difference between a job and a career. Having a summer job that you don’t necessarily need can easily be sacrificed for love.

Especially if you think that relationship is meant to last, it would help if you never gave up on going to a top school because a partner doesn’t want you to. If you have opportunities that could change your life forever, you should always take them. Or if you get promoted to regional manager of your company before you turn thirty, that’s an opportunity that not most people get. If you get a job you’ve yearned for since you can remember, you should take it.

The list goes on and can change depending on your desires. It would be best to remember that you should never give up on such unique opportunities for a partner. If they genuinely love you, they’ll work to make the relationship work without you having to sacrifice. They will make a relationship sacrifice themselves so you can pursue and strengthen your career.

2. Sacrificing Your Dreams

Dreams are one of the most important things people can have. They motivate and push us to improve ourselves. Everyone needs to feel like they can dream. But what’s more important is being able to pursue those dreams. If people think they can’t fight for their dreams, that crushes their spirit. Even history has shown us that there’s nothing worse than robbing people of their dreams.

All social changes have been made by people who never stopped believing that things can take a turn for the better. Psychologically, people need to be allowed to hope for more. And fundamentally, that’s what dreams are all about. But when you manage a healthy romance, you could be inclined to sacrifice those dreams. An association often makes you think you can’t pursue as many crazy things as possible when you were single. Maybe you live with your partner, but your dream is to travel. In that case, you might feel like you must give up on your dream of staying with your partner.

Or maybe you feel pressured to share finances with your partner, so you can’t freely finance your travels. Or perhaps your dream is to have an animal shelter, but your partner hates animals. In that case, they won’t want you to pursue that goal. These are just some examples, but we could spend days listing all the possible situations. What’s important to know is that, in the long term, it’s not worth giving up your dreams. Someone who truly loves you will allow you to follow your dreams. But, once you feel like you need to sacrifice that pursuit, you know the relationship has turned for the worst.

3. Sacrificing Your Personality

You already know that everyone has preferences regarding the partner they choose. Many people even have a type or some strict criteria that their romantic interests need to meet. That means you won’t like everyone, and not everyone will like you. This is not an issue; you can quickly get over not being someone’s type. But some people don’t do that. Instead, they do something extremely toxic: try to change how the person they’re dating acts.

People who end up in unhealthy and toxic relationships sacrifice their personalities too often. They have to become docile and even submissive. A toxic partner usually wants you to be quieter and listen to whatever they ask you. So, when a partner asks you to change your personality, that’s a red flag. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t improve yourself. If you are mean and snappy and your partner asks you to work on that, that’s fair.

And that’s not a sacrifice; it’s just self-improvement. But if they ask you to stop being bubbly and quirky, that’s a relationship sacrifice you should never do. Don’t change who you are to keep someone around–that’s not a healthy romance.

4. Sacrificing Your Other Relationships

It’s normal to want to spend most of your time with your partner. It’s also normal for them to ask you to hang out if you haven’t made time for them in a while. But what’s not normal is having to forsake other relationships because that’s what your partner wants. Unfortunately, many romantic partners will have jealous tendencies. And, if they act on those feelings, they’ll ask for crazy relationship sacrifices. They might even want you to throw people out of your life so that they can feel more comfortable.

Sure, there are some instances in which your partner will have reasons to be jealous. If your ex is now your best friend, that’s suspicious. But those are not the cases we’re talking about. We’re discussing when your partner asks you to give up on friendships and family. And they don’t have to ask you directly to cut ties with important people. They have to push you to make many small relationship sacrifices. In time, all those sacrifices will add up, and you’ll risk losing essential people. Don’t give up on the ones you love just for a relationship.

Final Thoughts on Relationship Sacrifices That Aren’t Worth It

Having a romantic relationship is not something you need to achieve at all costs. In many cases, you’ll have to learn to choose between continuing that relationship and pursuing your happiness. When deciding, you must remember that not all relationship sacrifices are worth it. Learning to care for yourself and fulfill your needs is much more critical.

Don’t ever give up on your career or your dreams. Relationships come and go, but opportunities to pursue something you’ve always wished for are rare. Make sure you never sacrifice your personality to get someone to like you. And don’t push people you love aside to appease your partner. If you are in a healthy romance, your partner will always support you. They will never want you to make relationship sacrifices that hurt you. Instead, they’ll do their best to see you succeed.

Study Explains Why Social Support Increases Mental Health

August 28, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Since humans first roamed the Earth, we’ve relied on social support to mitigate life’s struggles. As social animals, we receive physical and emotional benefits from our connections with others. In recent times, we lived in tribes and derived meaning from a life based on a tight-knit community. Our mental health declined only once we scattered into small family units.

While we no longer live in villages, our primary needs haven’t changed in the modern world. We all must work in a larger society to survive, but we require intimate connections with others. Having this type of social support buffers the stresses of life and boosts mental health.

Many studies have shown positive relationships and better quality of life. Below, we’ll go over one of these studies that reveals the importance of social support in modern times.

Social Support Buffers Negative Effects From Poverty

Unfortunately, many people in the modern world suffer from loneliness, especially among younger generations. The advent of social media, along with longer work hours, means less time for in-person connections.

People had more time to foster genuine relationships when life didn’t move quickly. Nowadays, our conversations have become hurried and strained as we struggle to keep up with our responsibilities.

That may explain why people in developing countries have better mental health than in industrialized nations. One study found that people in wealthy nations had higher rates of depression than those in poorer countries.

Researchers believe the high depression rates in developed countries may result from a more significant income gap between the rich and poor. Also, wealthy countries tend to focus more on the individual than the community, causing poor mental health.

This doesn’t mean people in poorer countries don’t suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders. They face challenges, such as political and financial instability, lack of healthcare, and other problems.

However, they generally have a closer community to rely on than those in wealthy nations. This alone could help stave off depression and negative thoughts caused by adversity. So, perhaps developed nations should focus on increasing social support rather than GDP.

Obsession with material goods and money doesn’t equate to happiness. The study referenced above found that the US has the second-highest rate of depression among wealthy countries. Let’s delve into the study showing why the community can foster mental wellness in rich and underdeveloped nations.

Study Reveals Why Social Support Boosts Mental Health

Iranian researchers performed a meta-analysis of 64 studies that measured mental health concerning social support. Most of the studies analyzed (77%) included men and women, and 90% were performed between 2006 and 2013. The target population of one-third of the studies included university students and people in the workforce. Older adults and patients made up another quarter of the study participants.

The study authors found that positive social support impacted women more strongly than men. They suggest that men feel more hesitant to share problems with others because of gender roles. So, they tend to rely on their social network less than women.

The researchers found that social support also boosted mental health in parents with disabled children, immigrants, and transgender individuals. Furthermore, social support benefited university students, workers, and veterans, reporting higher happiness levels.

Female heads of households, infertile couples, school students, abused women, and older adults showed an average impact on mental health from social support.

So, it’s clear from the study that positive relationships with others can increase mental health and security. People with better social support benefit from enhanced communication skills, which keeps depression and anxiety at bay.

Also, a community can provide a buffer against stress and boost performance in other areas of life. If people have a strong foundation, they can provide for others in their community better.

Finally, social support allows people to feel loved, protected, respected, and a sense of belonging. Everyone desires to be accepted and know they have people to look out for them.

Researchers explain that people with poor social support tend to have worse mental and physical health. This makes sense because loneliness or insecurity heightens cortisol levels and weakens the immune system.

People in solitary confinement for long periods provide a perfect example of this theory. Comparing them to people living in a small tribe in a developing country, it’s apparent that we need each other to survive.

Tips on Finding and Creating Social Networks to Better Mental Health

Mounting evidence shows that lacking social support can lead to mental and physical health problems. Early humans lived in small tribes and counted on one another for survival. Now, we depend on a massive civilization to supply our everyday needs. This made life easier in many ways, but we’ve traded close connections for material comforts.

However, we can still foster meaningful relationships with others in several ways.

Make an effort to connect with coworkers. Do you have a few coworkers that you enjoy being around? If so, ask them to hang out after work sometimes. It takes effort to create close relationships, but reaching out will provide opportunities for social support.
Reach out to family in your area. If you’ve neglected your relationships with family, try reconnecting with them. They probably miss you and value your presence in their life. We all get busy sometimes, but family will always have your back.
Join groups in your area. Look on Facebook or other social networking sites for groups with mutual interests. If you have something in common with others, it makes it easier to connect with them.

Final Thoughts on Study Showing That Social Support Protects Mental Health

Since humans have existed on this planet, we have lived close to nature and one another. We’ve expanded our society by working on larger goals, like exploring space and medical advancements. Modern life does have its perks, but the focus on achievements has left many feeling isolated and lonely.

Studies show that social support can mitigate the effects of stress and promote better mental health. So, if you feel disconnected from others, reach out more to those around you. You’d be surprised to find coworkers, friends, and family probably feel similar and would welcome the invitation to reconnect.

Research Reveals That Children Who Do Chores Might Be More Responsible Adults

August 27, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do your children do chores? They should! There are many benefits to performing everyday chores, and kids can learn a lot from doing simple, age-appropriate tasks around their homes. These chores can even lead them to grow into responsible adults. Learning to honor this responsibility helps increase maturity.

It sounds a little hard to believe, but think about it! Adults are the product of how their parents raised them and their past life experiences. If children don’t have the opportunity to be shaped by positive learning experiences, they grow up missing those vital parts of healthy adulthood.

The same goes for responsibility. If not given responsibility via chores, kids don’t learn that critical value. Research reveals that children who do chores might be more responsible adults.

1. They Develop Work Ethic Admired in Responsible Adults

Work ethic is something that all responsible adults share. They have an inherent belief that there is moral benefit and value in diligence, hard work, and the strengthening of character via this work. Essentially, it makes people want to work hard and be determined to complete their efforts.

When children learn to do chores, they value work as their own act. Kids who have adults do everything for them aren’t able to form the connection between work and its value, as they’ve never had to perform that work themselves. They don’t understand the labor involved in that work and expect that anyone can and will do it for them. This is detrimental to the formation of responsible adults.

According to research, multiple factors help to develop a positive work ethic. Doing chores will help your children to learn all of these factors. Here are those factors and why chores help with them:

· Prioritized Focus

Prioritized focus means automatically being able to focus on what someone can do over things they can’t. It also means concentrating on areas that fall under one’s responsibility or where one can provide the most impact. Doing chores will give kids a good idea of what they can do and how they can help around the house, and they’ll carry that knowledge into future learning as they develop more prioritized focus areas.

· Responsible Adults Take Goal-Oriented Action

Chores are simple tasks with clear goals, and you can tell your children what purpose each chore has. For example, putting away toys aims to keep things clean and clear to avoid potential injury. During a conversation with a friend who works in behavioral psychology, they shared how even adults approach tasks with similar clarity—like someone asking, kann man online ohne Oasis wetten? It’s a specific goal that requires understanding the steps and limitations to achieve it responsibly. Similarly, when performing chores, children will learn to focus on achieving the goals of each task, thereby learning to take steps toward goals productively. They’ll also have more commitment to their long-term goals, which is crucial for their success!

· Reliability And Availability

If you model chores correctly to your children and guide them when they struggle to stay focused, you teach kids to be available for their tasks. Throughout the duration of a job, kids will learn to remain open and conscientious to make the chore easier, faster, and less stressful, forming a positive relationship with work and effort.

· A Cycle Of Positive Motivation Through Delayed Gratification

When children do chores, they learn that doing a good job has a good result from which they and everyone else benefit. This, in turn, helps motivate them to do a good job again the next time, even if it’s difficult and the reward takes time to receive. This positive cycle keeps many responsible adults going through complex tasks, and it’s an integral part of work ethic. Studies show that motivation via delayed gratification is central to future success in children.

· Self-Reliance Grows Responsibility

While children will need guidance when performing tasks at first, they will eventually be able to perform chores independently. Most kids love being given that kind of independence and will look forward to being able to do things themselves as grown-ups do. This serves as the basis for healthy self-reliance in children.

· Responsible Adults Display Ethical Behavior

It sounds far-fetched, but children learn the foundations of ethical and moral behavior by doing chores. This is because they’re able to value the effort and labor involved in performing various tasks, which makes them more empathic. Instead of expecting people to do everything for them and devaluing seemingly “simple” tasks, they learn to value the contributions of others and grow less entitled.

2. Responsible Adults Build Self-Esteem

It’s easy to point at someone irresponsible and assume that they’re lazy or the wrong person. In reality, there’s nuance to what creates and doesn’t create responsible adults. Multiple factors go into the way that adults complete tasks and perform work. While these factors are not an excuse for poor behavior, understanding them will help you to gain perspective on the values your children need to become responsible adults.

According to research, one of these factors is self-esteem Fortunately, chores can build self-esteem. However, this only works if chores are deemed everyday responsibilities and do not have a negative association. This means that unless circumstances are truly extenuating, kids should always have to do their assigned chores without exception. So you should not let them off chores, even if:

They are exceptionally busy with schoolwork, upcoming exams, or extracurricular activities.
They’ve performed very well in school, in extracurricular activities, or character, and they want to be let off chores as a reward.
They become angry or upset that they must do chores because they’re busy or stressed out.

What happens if you let your kids not do chores for these reasons?

You end up communicating to them that their performance in school or other activities is an essential thing in their lives. When your children end up “failing” at one of these things, they lose their only pillar of competency.

Failure is a normal part of life, so attaching so much value to this specific kind of success can cripple self-esteem. Adults who grow up with their value tied to academic success become “irresponsible” because they feel worthless and put all their time and effort into proving themselves worthy with other forms of apparent external success, burning themselves out in the process.

Children are happier knowing they can always contribute to their house and home even when they “fail” in other areas. They also have the skills to keep up with daily routines, even under other forms of stress. This doesn’t just create responsible adults, but it also helps kids better care for themselves physically and mentally as they grow, says research.

Listen to why your child does not want the responsibility so you can respond kindly.

Note that this does not mean not listening to or validating your child’s emotions, concerns, or fears related to chores and stress. You shouldn’t take a “because I said so” approach to enforcing chores as critical tasks. The goal is to teach children to manage and balance all their responsibilities because, in adulthood, duties will not go away just because they are busy.

If your child expresses a desire not to do chores, listen to them and their reasons. Open a conversation about the importance of the responsibility. Remember that for kids, a lot of small things to us are very big to them, so validate your child’s concerns and don’t let them feel unheard. You know how to best speak to your child, so turn this into a teachable moment for them!

Of course, you can provide options such as asking other siblings for some help, and you may also use your best judgment to decide which tasks are appropriate. What matters is that the jobs should be a regular part of everyday life and essential as all other daily routines and that children still do them.

3. Responsible Adults Learn Important Life Skills

Responsible adults always seem to have things figured out – but they didn’t start with all that knowledge! They learned the life skills that they needed along the way. It’s the job of parents or guardians to equip their kids with the knowledge they need by:

Directly teaching life skills to their children
Giving their children the opportunity to practice various life skills
Fostering an environment where making mistakes while learning is not punished but supported
Bolstering their children’s confidence and self-efficacy so that they can learn other life skills on their own
Modeling life skills in front of their children, allowing them to learn by example
Praising children for their interest in learning various skills

For children to grow into responsible adults, they have to know how to perform everyday responsibilities, and they can learn that through chores. The goal is for your kids to be able to perform specific tasks independently by a certain age. For example, young children should learn to tie their shoelaces, and teenagers should be able to cook simple food.

Essentially, whatever life skills your children will have to use when they grow up and live alone are skills that they need the chance to learn and do through chores! Once they understand how to do a task, they can receive a reasonable amount of independence in performing it.

Final Thoughts On Why Children Who Do Chores Grow Up To Be More Responsible Adults

Chores should be a regular part of a child’s routine. Young children can do simple tasks that help adults with easy chores. In turn, they can accept more and more responsibility as they grow up. Ideally, you’ll want to introduce easy chores gradually into your child’s life as soon as possible, but it’s never too late to start a new habit. It may be tougher to convince older kids of the merits of chores, but it’ll be worth it!

It’s important to note that while chores can promote responsibility, children will need help and further guidance to learn and internalize the lessons of chores truly. Children will grow frustrated or have trouble understanding why they perform specific tasks, so be patient and ready to soothe and teach them as needed. Some kids need particular types of guidance that require more effort, and some may find certain chores harder than others, so keep that in mind, too!

Keep Clapping for Others Until It’s Your Time to Shine

August 27, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

As humans, we all want to reach our full potential and shine. But the road there isn’t always easy. Along the way, we must deal with the fact that others will achieve greatness before us. This competition should motivate us in theory–and we should keep clapping for others. But it sometimes does the opposite. It makes us feel unworthy, or like we are not good enough to make our dreams come true.

You lose control of the situation whenever you let other people’s actions influence yours. Even if you think that fighting others helps you, it will just distract you from your goal. Maybe you don’t believe the people who got ahead are worthy of their spot. Maybe they took what you thought should be yours. But even then, you should still clap for them. You should still be supportive even if they don’t deserve what they have. But that’s not just for altruistic reasons.

Supporting others has a positive effect on you and your development. It’s all about the mindset. Good things will come your way if you are a positive and supportive person. Plus, everyone has their own time to shine. Even if yours comes later in life, that’s ok. It will still come, and forcing your moment will only harm you.

When Is It Your Moment to Shine?

You can say that people shine when they have reached their full potential. They are fulfilled in all areas of life and can excel in what they love. It’s when they aren’t forced to work an awful job for a living. Instead, they have built a career they love and work with pleasure. But everyone’s moment to shine looks different and comes at other times.

Some people are extraordinary, and they shine at a young age. In this category, we could easily fit the kids who are so bright they graduate early. The kids who make ground-breaking discoveries and end up working at NASA are also part of this group. For most people, their time to shine comes later, though.

Most people make the mistake of thinking that to shine is to do something out of this world. But that’s not true at all. To shine is to reach one’s potential, whatever that might be. More importantly, it means to be happy in your skin. A mother will shine when taking care of her kids. Teenagers will shine when they finally figure out what they like. You don’t need to be revolutionary to shine.

That’s not to say that revolutionary people don’t shine. They do, and usually more than others. But that’s just because their life’s work brings them the most joy. Therefore, it’s hard to reach your potential without some ambition. You will always be mediocre if you barely get out of bed to go to work or school. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But most people would like to become a better version of themselves.

Why You Should Keep Clapping For People Until It’s Your Time to Shine?

You can only grow if you intentionally work towards your goals. But your mindset and support from others also play an essential part. To harvest the correct mindset for growth, you need to learn to clap for others. Don’t tear them down on your path to success. There’s a time for everyone, and it’s better to support people than tear them down.

1. It Supports a Positive Mindset Until It’s Your Turn to Shine

It can be frustrating when you’ve worked all your life but see the people around you succeed. It’s natural to want to see them stumble or even fail. But allowing this feeling to take over will hurt your mindset.

Many people must sit around while people who do not work as hard seem to get everything. They get promotions, better jobs, or the perfect partner. This can deem unfair, but it’s not. Life is not always rational. Many things happen because of luck or chance. Or maybe those people have other qualities that make them worthy of everything.

For example, not all employees will give promotions to the most innovative or hardest working employee. Sometimes, they will give them to someone who’s been with the company for years. Or to someone who can bring a specific specialized skill to the team. But this isn’t limited only to jobs. When someone shines, they did something to deserve everything they have. When you try to tear these people down, you only reaffirm the false notion that they aren’t worthy.

Or that you are somehow more worthy than them. That’s not a proactive and positive mindset; it won’t help you improve. Instead, it will keep you complacent. If you keep telling yourself that others only got where they are because you were mistreated, that’s just an excuse. And in life, reasons will only hold you back.

If you want to shine, you need to have a positive mindset. You must be willing to do the work and have the patience necessary to succeed. If you clap for others, you acknowledge their worth and qualities. This will change your mindset, making you understand there’s a place for everyone. Nobody stole your opportunity. It just wasn’t yours, to begin with.

And it wasn’t meant to become yours. You’ll stop fighting to win other people’s places. Instead, you’ll work to create your own. You won’t allow complacency to take hold of your life. When you shed all that negativity, all your work will seem easy and fun. Plus, you can never reach your potential if you carry hatred in your heart. Hatred holds you back and makes you less likable.

But, when you start finding joy in others’ successes, that’s when you can be pleased. There’ll be no negativity clouding your judgment and emotions.

2. Clapping for Others Allows You to Learn From Others

A person can’t shine without having gone over some hurdles before. Usually, the people who have reached their fullest potential are the ones who have gone through the most. They have felt failure and disappointment on their skin. Having gone through all that makes them the perfect people to learn from.

If you are antagonistic towards these people, they won’t be interested in teaching you anything. You’ll be stuck hitting your head against a wall you could have avoided if someone else had told you how. That’s why clapping for these people helps you. Besides being a nice thing to do, it makes these people like you. So they’ll be more inclined to share their life experiences with you. But they don’t even need to make an effort to teach you.

You can learn things simply by being around them and having an open mind. You’ll never take what they do seriously if you view them with contempt. You’ll always think that there’s nothing they can show you. But that way, you miss out on gaining new skills. Not clapping for others will not hurt them.

They’re already shining, so your opinion doesn’t affect them. But it will keep you from reaching your potential because you’ll have to learn everything alone.

3. Clapping for Others Brings You Closer to People

You like being surrounded by friends and family. But one thing you’ll have to learn is what to do if the people around you shine and you don’t. This happens much more often than you might think, and it can be hard to deal with. It can make you feel like you are less than them or aren’t working hard enough. But neither of those things is true.

It just means that you haven’t had your opportunity yet. If you give in to your instincts and start hating the people around you for their success, you’ll make everything worse. You can’t hide that you are jealous or look down on someone. At some point, they’ll pick up on it. You’ll push people away when that happens, and you even risk isolating yourself.

Try to understand that these people are worthy of everything they have. And it would help if you were excited that they finally got everything they wanted. When you start clapping for them, they will feel your support. This is how you strengthen the relationships you have in your life. But bringing people closer is not the only benefit.

You can even befriend new people because you were supportive when they needed you. You’ll eventually build a support system that’s also beneficial for you. You’ll have reliable friends you can always lean on, even if you fail. Your friends and family are the only ones who can help you shine. So, you need to keep them close and cherish them.

Final Thoughts on Why You Should Keep Clapping For People Until It’s Your Time to Shine

Everyone had their own time to shine. Chances are, at least a few people you know will shine before you do. That’s just how life goes. Besides hard work and talent, people need a bit of good luck to reach their full potential. Sometimes, it helps to be in the right place at the right time. So don’t despair if you see others succeed before you do. Just keep working and don’t stop believing you can become whatever you want. Your time will eventually come.

Until It’s your time to shine, you need to clap for others. This isn’t just a nice thing to do. It’s also what helps you the most. When you root for others, your mentality changes. Instead of thinking that everyone is beneath you and they don’t deserve what they have, you become more mindful. You start understanding that everyone has their place and deserves what they have. This helps you be more proactive and positive.

It helps you take action rather than wallow in self-pity. Clapping for others also makes people like you. Because of that, they’ll be more inclined to help you and share some of their wisdom. This helps you avoid making the mistakes they did, thus reaching your potential much sooner. Lastly, you’ll create a more robust support system to help you become your best self.

Science Explains the Connection Between Breastfeeding and Depression

August 27, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Many new mothers feel a deep connection to their babies while breastfeeding them. For most, the experience allows them to bond with their child and evokes warm, comforting feelings. However, not all mothers thoroughly enjoy breastfeeding their babies. Indeed, it may cause depression and anxiety for some women for various reasons.

When new mothers experience near-constant low moods, it could signal postpartum depression. However, negative feelings that arise only after a feeding session may point to another condition. Scientists believe something called dysphoric milk ejection reflex, or D-MER, could be to blame.

This relatively unknown condition causes mothers to feel waves of intense depression during or after breastfeeding. Many women don’t understand why they feel this way and may even blame themselves. Since the condition isn’t widely known or studied, some new moms may feel isolated or alone in their experience.

However, one study found that up to 9% of breastfeeding women experience D-MER at some point. Currently, scientists have begun studying why certain women develop the condition and how to treat it.

What is D-MER?

Dysphoric milk ejection reflex causes a sudden influx of intrusive thoughts and heavy emotions during breastfeeding. It usually occurs as the milk begins flowing and may last for a few minutes.

Some people may dismiss these feelings, believing that it’s a psychological reaction to breastfeeding. However, experts have discovered that D-MER results from a physiological response caused by fluctuating hormones. So, women who experience this condition can feel better knowing it isn’t just in their heads.

Common Symptoms of D-MER

Symptoms may vary from person to person, but D-MER generally causes intense negative feelings. The most common signs of dysphoric milk ejection reflex include:

depression
anger
anxiety
hopelessness
feelings of paranoia or panic
self-hatred or criticism
feeling homesick or nostalgic
a sense of overwhelming dread
suicidal thoughts

Women may experience all or only a few symptoms, ranging from mild to intense. Most breastfeeding moms will notice them shortly after feeding and in the minutes following. Some women who experience mild or moderate symptoms may continue breastfeeding without issues. However, moms with more severe symptoms may have such overwhelmingly negative feelings that they must formula feed instead.

Some women may feel confused since D-MER mimics the same symptoms as postpartum depression. However, the primary way to tell the difference involves the timing of symptoms. D-MER is likely to be blamed if it only occurs during or immediately following breastfeeding. However, most moms find relief from their symptoms after a few minutes of feeding.

With postpartum depression, the feelings linger and can affect daily functioning, not just during breastfeeding. It may impair moms from adequately caring for themselves and their babies. D-MER causes a flood of negative emotions like depression, but the feelings usually dissipate.

Unfortunately, some women may experience both conditions simultaneously. Doctors may prescribe anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications for postpartum depression. Or, they may suggest therapy and self-care techniques such as relaxation or yoga.

If you have been experiencing symptoms for over two weeks, visit your doctor. They can help you formulate a treatment plan that works for you.

Why D-MER Causes Depression During Breastfeeding

The dysphoric milk ejection reflex may cause depression because of physiological responses during breastfeeding. While experts aren’t sure of the cause, they posit that D-MER occurs due to a sudden decrease in dopamine levels.

Other scientists believe it happens because of elevated oxytocin levels released during milk ejection. This could trigger the fight-or-flight response, making women feel a combination of intense depression and anxiety. Stress or trauma may exacerbate these symptoms in some women.

Treatments for D-MER

Unfortunately, since D-MER isn’t an official diagnosis, no medications exist to treat the condition. While it resembles postpartum depression, doctors may not prescribe SSRIs due to a lack of research. However, many women find that self-care techniques alleviate or reduce symptom severity.

Also, simply knowing about the condition helps ease anxiety surrounding the experience. Once you understand that a physiological response triggers the feelings, it doesn’t seem as scary.

Doctors suggest relaxation techniques to help manage symptoms and make breastfeeding more comfortable. The methods will be most effective if you practice while feeding in addition to periods of solitude.

Self-care exercises to reduce breastfeeding depression include:

playing calming music while breastfeeding
drinking plenty of water and having your favorite snacks handy
reducing caffeine intake
placing a heating pad around your neck and shoulders to reduce tension
taking a warm bath
practicing mindfulness, meditation, or yoga
performing deep breathing exercises to lower anxiety
having skin-to-skin contact with your baby
having a support group with whom you can talk about symptoms

You can also enlist the help of lactation consultants or breastfeeding counselors who have experience with the condition. Sometimes, online support groups can offer additional support and connect you with other mothers experiencing D-MER.

For example, the Facebook group launched by lactation consultant Alia Macrina Heise could provide a great resource. She began researching D-MER after experiencing strong negative feelings while breastfeeding her third baby. Many women consider her an expert on the condition since she first drew attention to it in 2007.

Final Thoughts on Why Breastfeeding May Cause Depression

Have you ever experienced depression while breastfeeding your baby? If so, know you’re not alone in these feelings, which aren’t just in your head. Experts have found that a physiological response can cause dysphoric milk ejection reflex or D-MER. They believe a sharp decrease in dopamine levels during breastfeeding could lead to intense depression. However, most women only experience the condition a few minutes after feeding.

Unfortunately, some mothers have such severe symptoms that they can’t properly manage the condition. This may lead them to bottle feed due to the anxiety of breastfeeding. Scientists have found that self-care techniques such as meditation could help alleviate symptoms. No approved medications currently exist for D-MER, however.

AHA Study Confirms That Sleeping Well Improves Heart Health

August 27, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A recent study by the American Heart Association found a link between sleeping soundly and heart health. As a result, they recently updated their checklist to measure cardiovascular health to include sleep quality and duration. Other items on the list include these important heart health and lifestyle factors:

nicotine exposure
physical activity
diet
weight
blood glucose
cholesterol
blood pressure

Now, the AHA considers sleep essential to optimal brain and heart health. The organization recommends that adults sleep seven to nine hours per night. Children should sleep longer depending on age, they say.

The AHA calls the checklist that measures cardiovascular health Life’s Essential 8™, which replaced the previous Life’s Simple 7™. They published their latest guidelines for heart health in the AHA’s peer-reviewed journal Circulation.

Other Updates to the Heart Health Guidance

The AHA also updated other ideal cardiovascular health measures for people aged two and older. It includes updates on healthy eating habits and exposure to secondhand smoke or nicotine via vaping. Diet guidelines also use non-HDL cholesterol instead of total cholesterol to measure blood lipids. Finally, blood sugar measures include hemoglobin A1c, an important measurement to predict diabetes risk.

Cardiovascular disease remains the leading cause of death in the United States and worldwide. The AHA’s 2022 Heart Disease and Stroke Statistics Update found that around 121.5 million people in the US have hypertension. One hundred million suffer from obesity, while over 28 million have Type 2 diabetes. Additionally, only 25% of adults reported engaging in the recommended levels of exercise, 150 minutes of moderate to intense aerobic activity per week.

However, many studies have discovered that over 80% of cardiovascular disease is preventable. Healthy lifestyle habits such as diet, exercise, and managing other risk factors can stave off risks. Sleeping well also can lower the risk of heart disease, according to the latest findings.

Sleeping Well Promotes Optimal Heart Health

“The new metric of sleep duration reflects the latest research findings: sleep impacts overall health, and people who have healthier sleep patterns manage health factors such as weight, blood pressure, or risk for Type 2 diabetes more effectively,” said American Heart Association President Donald M. Lloyd-Jones, M.D., Sc.M., FAHA, who led the advisory writing group.

He’s also the chair of the department of preventive medicine and the Eileen M. Foell Professor of Heart Research. Additionally, he’s a professor of preventive medicine, medicine, and pediatrics at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

“In addition, advances in ways to measure sleep, such as with wearable devices, now offer people the ability to reliably and routinely monitor their sleep habits at home.”

Over the last 20 years, scientists have made remarkable discoveries on the mind-heart-body connection. As new research came out, the AHA wanted to update its guidelines with the latest information on cardiovascular health. Four of the original metrics have been updated with newer guidelines or compatibility with cutting-edge measurement tools.

The AHA divided their Life’s Essential 8™ elements of ideal cardiovascular health into two categories: health behaviors and health factors. Health behaviors include diet, physical activity, sleep, and nicotine exposure. Heart health factors include BMI, cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure measurements.

“The idea of optimal cardiovascular health is important because it gives people positive goals to work toward at any stage of life.”

“Life’s Simple 7™ has served as a proven, powerful tool for understanding how to achieve healthy aging and ways to improve cardiovascular health while decreasing the risks of developing heart disease and stroke, as well as cancer, dementia, and many other chronic diseases,” he said. “Given the evolving research, it was important to address some limitations to the original metrics, particularly in ways they’ve been applied to people from diverse racial and ethnic populations.”

He added that prior metrics such as diet weren’t as responsive to differences among populations. Also, the guidelines weren’t as sensitive to dietary changes in a single individual over time. So, they decided to delve into the research and refine the metrics to help people improve their heart health. These guidelines can improve many other facets of health as well.

Life’s Essential 8™ Guidelines

Diet (updated): The new guidelines measure diet quality for adults and children, individually and in the overall population.
- At the population level, dietary assessment stems from consuming foods in the Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) eating program. The DASH-style diet score includes the following: high intake of fruits, vegetables, nuts and legumes, whole grains, and low-fat dairy. It also contains low sodium, red and processed meats, and sweetened drinks.
- For individuals, the AHA uses the Mediterranean Eating Pattern for Americans (MEPA) to measure cardiovascular health. The MEPA comprises a DASH-style eating pattern assessed with questions about the weekly consumption of certain foods. These include olive oil, vegetables, berries, meat, fish, dairy, grains, etc. However, the questionnaire doesn’t ask about sugary drinks or snacks, so doctors should ask patients during visits.
Physical activity (no changes): They still recommend 150 minutes of moderate physical activity or more per week for adults. Alternatively, 75 minutes per week of vigorous-intensity physical activity would suffice. Children ages six and older should get at least 420 minutes of exercise per week.
Nicotine exposure (updated): As e-cigarettes and vape pens have exploded in popularity, the AHA’s guidelines now include these nicotine-delivery systems. Previously, they only monitored the use of traditional cigarettes. Life’s Essential 8™ also measures secondhand smoke exposure for children and adults.
Sleep duration (new): Optimal sleeping quality and time can improve cardiovascular health. The AHA recommends adults get seven to nine hours of sleep per night. Children ages five and younger should sleep 10-16 hours per night, while those ages 6-12 should get 9-12 hours. Finally, they suggest teens ages 13-18 receive eight to ten hours.
Body mass index (no changes): The AHA states that BMI 18.5-24.9 supports optimal heart health. However, the writing group acknowledges that healthy BMI can vary among different racial and ethnic backgrounds.
Blood lipids (updated): They’ve updated the metric for cholesterol to use non-HDL cholesterol as the preferred number to measure, rather than total cholesterol. HDL refers to the “good” cholesterol, while high levels of other cholesterol can increase CVD risk.
Blood glucose (updated): They’ve updated this guideline to include the option of hemoglobin A1c readings for people with or without Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes or prediabetes. Hemoglobin A1c can measure long-term glucose levels more accurately.
Blood pressure (no changes): Blood pressure criteria remain the same; the AHA cites a reading of 120/80 or less as optimal.

Final Thoughts on AHA Finding Link Between Sleeping Well and Heart Health

So, in addition to sleeping well, it’s essential to adhere to the other pillars of health. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, keeping your stress low, and managing health conditions can improve your heart health. Also, diet, exercise, and other positive life changes can improve sleep if you have insomnia.

Many people in the modern world suffer from poor sleeping quality, which can affect other aspects of life. However, the AHA reveals why we should all make sleep a priority to restore balance to our minds, bodies, and hearts.

A Romantic Partner Won’t Fix Your Depression, According to Psychology

August 26, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

In our world, we elevate the idea of having a romantic partner and often consider it the ideal state of being. We see people bemoan their fates whenever they’re single, and some may genuinely believe they’ll be happier if they were only in a relationship. There’s already quite a lot wrong with this mentality, but it gets even worse when applied to things like depression. This diagnosed condition makes everything feel bleaker, and it’s easy to think that having someone special in your life will ease the pain that comes with that. But a romantic partner won’t fix your depression, and that’s a psychological fact.

Here’s why.

1. Depression Is An Illness

The biggest issue with the idea that a romantic partner can fix your depression is simple: depression is a mental illness. Like all other illnesses and disorders, in most cases, it cannot be fixed by non-medical means. And, even when some treatment options include non-medical interventions, such as lifestyle changes or mindfulness, entering a relationship is not one of the potential solutions.

Adding a romantic partner to your life significantly changes your everyday experience. When you’re depressed or have any other type of illness, the last thing you need is to add more stress – even positive stress – to your life. Significant life changes and even minor alterations to your daily world will make things more challenging.

That’s not even considering all the other elements of an illness that mess with your life. With depression and other similar mood disorders, you can struggle with mood swings, have trouble wanting to take the initiative and be social, and even be unable to accomplish basic daily tasks. Suffice to say that this is not the best time to gain a romantic partner.

On top of that, a romantic partner who knows you want to be fixed by them will only meet frustration and failure. This can make them feel inadequate, cause resentment, or even lead to them belittling or invalidating your depression out of their frustration. It’s a losing battle.

Not that those with depression cannot have healthy and happy relationships. Research has shown that healthy relationships can withstand the effects of depression and even slightly help mitigate symptoms. Those who learn to manage their symptoms and receive proper treatment can continue with the rest of their lives and be successful in all the ways they want to be! But to enter a relationship hoping it will cure any illness is simply not how it works.

2. Codependency, Depression, and Relationships

The expectation that a romantic partner can fix depression has a severe risk of leading to an unhealthy, codependent dynamic. Codependency is a theory in sociology that explains certain kinds of unbalanced relationship dynamics. As the term suggests, this situation occurs when two people become dependent on each other to an unhealthy extent, unable to function correctly without the other person.

In early theories, codependency was reserved for alcoholics and their partners. In recovery, a partner to an alcoholic would tend to “overhelp,” thus accidentally enabling the alcoholic.

The enabling partner would provide endless chances to the alcoholic, allowing the afflicted to continue to relapse while trusting the safety net of their partner. This ultimately harmed the recovery process, often causing the enabler to make countless sacrifices while preventing any long-term change.

The Impact Of Codependency On Depression

Today, we understand that codependency can apply to numerous other relationships in varying forms. An “enabled” partner in a codependent relationship may suffer from:

Poor mental health
Addiction
Irresponsibility
Under-achievement

Depression alone does not necessarily lead to codependent relationships. However, wanting someone to “fix” your depression can certainly grow that unhealthy dynamic. You end up holding someone else responsible for your moods and may use your depression as an excuse for negative behavior, poor treatment, or unreasonable expectations.

Signs Of Codependency

Meanwhile, the other party in the codependent relationship suffers and benefits from this arrangement. This gives them an incentive to feed into their partner’s depression, intentionally or unintentionally, making healing more difficult. Research states that they may:

Only feel fulfilled or good about themselves when helping others
Feel the desire to fix or control others to be secure or safe
Experience severe people-pleasing tendencies
Eagerly step into the role of a self-sacrificing martyr so they feel that they are a good person
Eagerly step into the role of a self-sacrificing martyr because they want the ability to play the victim

Worse still, this happens subconsciously often, meaning no innate hostile intent may exist in either partner. As long as one person depends on the other because of a lack of self-sufficiency and the other depends on the first for fulfillment, it’s codependent. This is too easy to do when you expect a romantic partner to fix your depression.

3. How Depression Negatively Impacts Relationships

A romantic partner is more likely to complicate things than improve them when you have depression. In most ways, depression negatively affects relationships, leaving little room for the romance you might be seeking. Among the adverse effects of depression on a romantic partner and partnership include:

· Increased Conflict With Your Romantic Partner

Depression often presents as simple sadness or lack of energy, but it can manifest in other ways. One of these ways is increased irritability or a higher tendency to be harmful to others. This can lead to a lot of fighting and conflict and quickly sour any relationship and its dynamic. On top of that, depression can often push you to act out your feelings by lashing out at those around you and taking it out on an innocent partner, say studies.

· Decreased Communication

Communication is a central, essential part of any healthy relationship. But when you’re depressed, your thoughts and feelings feel like they’re your worst enemy. You tend to push away your feelings and repress them, breeds resentment and worsens those emotions in the long run. And, of course, no relationship can survive healthily when communication is minimal.

· Diminished Intimacy In The Bedroom

While the intimacy of this nature isn’t essential for some relationships, most romantic partnerships involve a little bit of fun in the bedroom. This is especially true in new relationships, and many partners find this to be a positive way to bond. But a whopping 75% of individuals with depression also experience a decreased sex drive, say studies. This can be due to poor body image, performance anxiety, shame concerning intimacy, and depression medication, which may be possible to overcome. But other probable causes are complete exhaustion from depression or simply never feeling quite in the mood. Regardless, this can leave both partners feeling inadequate or insecure, thus adding to the depression.

· Desire To Isolate Yourself From Your Romantic Partner

Depression makes you want to be alone. You feel more like withdrawing and can feel like you don’t have energy for anyone, including a romantic partner. This would kill a new relationship, so even if there were a chance it could fix you, it’d be next to impossible to keep it alive when you don’t have it in you to even talk to your partner.

· Less Interest In Taking Care Of Yourself

A genuine partner in this with you for the long run won’t care if you “let yourself go.” But unfortunately, brand-new partners are likely to be slightly more superficial, and your lack of ambition, self-care, and motivation is unlikely to make a good attractor. While you’re perfectly worthy of love regardless of your mental state, dating and finding a romantic partner means playing the field. In this process, you will find many people with no interest because of your issues. And yes, some will be cruel people. But their words and actions are likely to affect you still, especially when you’re already depressed and in a vulnerable position.

· A Feeling Of Hopelessness Goes With Depression

Hopelessness is a prevalent symptom of depression, as research has shown. This sense encompasses everything, from your career to your friendships, and it certainly affects relationships. Cognitive distortion can cause you to feel that the future is bleak and things will always end badly. While it’s possible to overcome this, this is a reason a romantic partner can’t fix your depression. Your perception will be skewed when you enter the relationship, and you’ll only see a dire future ahead. This is a lot of stress for a new relationship!

Worse still, an unhappy relationship or dynamic with a romantic partner is likely to feed into depression, making it even worse. This forms a destructive cycle, as studies show.

4. Your Expectations Aren’t Reasonable

The bottom line is that even the most genuine romantic partner cannot fix your depression. Indeed, expecting that is entirely unreasonable. These expectations are likely to create an extremely unhealthy dynamic in your relationship. This dynamic may involve:

Your partner thinks that you don’t love them; if you loved them, their presence would be sufficient in “curing” your depression.
You think your partner doesn’t truly love you, as you perceive them as not doing enough to fix your depression.
Your partner feels responsible for your mental and emotional state, often becoming ashamed, growing scared, or losing confidence when you have depressive episodes.
Are you wondering if your partnership is genuine since it’s not working in fixing you?
Both partners cannot focus on good times and live each day peacefully one step at a time, as all concentration is on fixing the depression.
Your partner spends their entire time trying to change you to be less depressed while you lose your self-esteem because you feel pressured to change.

Final Thoughts On Some Reasons Why A Romantic Partner Won’t Fix Your Depression

Depression requires professional treatment from a mental health professional, not the addition of a romantic partner to your life. While it’s possible to have a good relationship while you’re depressed, that relationship should not be used as an attempt to cure the disorder.

10 Attractive Traits to Look For in a New Partner

August 26, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

True love is something you experience only if you learn to care for someone despite their flaws or how they look. However, you shouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. Just because you can theoretically love someone who hurts you doesn’t mean you should. If you are looking for a new partner, you should always look past physical attraction to ensure they have some attractive traits.

Many people think that having standards for dating means you are shallow. And that can be true if your criteria are about appearance or wealth. If you only date blonde-haired people, don’t be surprised if you’re seen as shallow. Physical attraction is important as someone’s looks give you the first impression of them. If someone is not your type, then no one can condemn you for not dating them.

But there are many other attractive traits that you should prioritize. The most essential qualities are the ones that define someone’s personality. How they act and how they can treat you can make or break a relationship.

10 Attractive Traits to Seek for a Stable Relationship

Beauty transcends looks…what’s inside also counts. Look beyond physical attraction for these qualities.

1. Honesty (Maybe the most essential of these attractive traits)

At the core of every successful relationship lies honesty. If two people are honest, they can communicate and have trust. Moreover, honesty is fundamental to ensuring your relationship doesn’t become toxic. So, when you look for someone new, learn if they are honest.

This is an attractive trait that you should never give up on. Don’t settle for someone comfortable with lying to you from the beginning. Even if they are white lies, they still show that the person cannot be trusted. If they can lie to you about what they ate yesterday, what’s to say they won’t lie to you about more significant things? That’s not the type of person you need in your life. Your new partner should be able to be open with you, no matter what.

2. Respect

One of the most attractive traits someone can have is being respectful. Your relationship will never work if your partner doesn’t treat you equally. To be happy, you need to find someone who would never consider you beneath them. Someone who respects you will listen to you and consider your perspective. You can tell if they do even from the first date.

If they insist on going to a place you don’t like, that’s your sign to get out of there. But they’re a keeper if they ask for your opinion and plan everything with your preferences in mind. Also, if they try to get to know you and never act condescendingly, that’s a good sign. Of course, respect means much more than that. But these are a few things that you can look for as early as your first date.

3. Integrity and Values Are Highly Attractive Traits

You should always strive to be with someone who has integrity and a robust set of values. One thing that you will always consider an attractive trait is when someone shares your values. Sure, society has become more and more open-minded. You can be with someone of a different culture, religion, or economic background. But it’s always nice to share your values with the person you are dating.

Even if you don’t have the same values, being with someone with integrity is essential. That shows they are good and want to do good in the world. If they keep their word and take accountability for their mistakes, that’s an attractive trait. This is the kind of person you can create an emotional connection with.

4. Maturity

Everyone likes to have fun. But an attractive trait in a potential partner is their maturity. When you want to build a life with someone, you must know they can be serious.

Being mature doesn’t mean being stuck up. It just means that they know how to balance fun and responsibilities. A mature person can converse intelligently and care for their issues when necessary. That means you won’t be stuck caring for the person you are dating.

5. Openness

You never want to fall for someone who will try to impose their views on you. Nor will you be able to form a meaningful emotional connection with someone close-minded. An attractive trait you should look for in a new partner is openness. Being open doesn’t mean they won’t have opinions and values. But it means you can openly communicate and share your thoughts and feelings. They won’t judge you for who you are.

On the contrary, they will embrace it and try to learn from you. More importantly, look for someone who isn’t bigoted and accepts everyone regardless of their background. If you date someone who looks down on people because of their culture or race, it’s time to dump them. This kind of internalized hatred will inevitably seep into your relationship. But that’s not a risk if you date someone accepting.

6. Patience

In any long-term relationship, problems will arise. There’s no way to avoid having some issues. You won’t always see eye to eye. Sometimes you want different things. To solve these issues, you need to be patient with someone. You need to know they won’t get angry when things don’t go their way.

Patience is also essential when you are dealing with personal issues. Having someone willing to take their time to help you out is imperative. If your partner isn’t willing to wait for you to solve your issues, the relationship won’t last.

7. Independence

This might seem counterintuitive to some people, but independence is one of the most attractive traits. When you are with someone, you don’t always need to be all over each other. It’s way better if you can have your own life. In that case, the relationship will be a bonus instead of the center of your existence.

If someone is too clingy or always relies on you, that’s a red flag. Your job in a relationship is not to take care of your partner as if they are your child. They need to be stable and have a life of their own. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help them during tough times. But, if they always hang out at your place as if they lived there from the beginning, that’s not ok.

8. Look For Satisfyingly Attractive Traits, Such As Empathy and Affection

Having an empathetic and affectionate partner is something everyone wants. But they must be like that with everyone, not just you. Sure, they must treat you right. A good partner will always want to take care of you. For example, they won’t be ashamed to hold your hand in public. But you can only tell how genuine they are by seeing how they treat others.

Pay extra attention to how they treat strangers. Many people can treat their family and friends nicely. But true empathy is about being kind and understanding towards everyone. If they help people in need, that’s your sign they would make a great partner.

9. Ambition

Ambition will always be an attractive trait. It shows that they won’t just settle. Instead, they will always try to improve on all fronts. And it’s not just about getting a promotion, though ambitious people want a promising career. It’s also about personal growth. They will always strive to learn and fix their flaws.

As you go through life, you will change and grow. And you want someone willing to take that path with you. Knowing you are with someone who will work to improve will also strengthen your faith in the relationship. But you need to be careful, as they could become too ambitious. Make sure they won’t sacrifice you for their growth. When you meet someone new, discussing how both of you see your future is important. This way, you can gauge if their ambition is healthy or not.

10. Sense of Humor

So far, all the attractive traits we’ve discussed have been more serious. But it’s essential to have a fun relationship. Not everything needs to be somber all the time. Research shows that partners with a shared sense of humor have stronger relationships.

So, look for someone who gets your jokes and has a similar sense of humor. If you are sarcastic and dry, you’ll get along the best with someone whose jokes are the same. This is because you’ll get each other instead of coming across as offensive. Humor is very personal; you don’t want to spend your whole life explaining your jokes.

Plus, you can bond and create a deep emotional connection through humor. You don’t just need someone who is objectively funny. They can be objectively unfunny. You’ll have a strong relationship if you share a sense of humor.

Final Thoughts on Some Attractive Traits to Look For in a New Partner, Besides Physical Attraction

Many people make the mistake of conflating physical attraction and true romantic attraction. Even though looks are important, there is a difference between lust and love. For love, you need a more profound connection than the one given by physical attraction. And there are many other things more attractive than looks. Personality and values are things you should value at least as much as looks, if not more.

Meeting someone new can be scary. It can be hard to read new people from the first date. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have guidelines for what you are looking for. Plus, knowing that you can have a stable relationship is more attractive. Sure, having flings can be excellent. But your potential partner must have certain qualities if you want something more.

That doesn’t mean you need to be stuck up about your choices. Give them a shot if someone isn’t as tall as you’d wished but is a fantastic person. But don’t settle for someone dishonest and unreliable just because of physical attraction. Make sure your partner has integrity and is respectful and affectionate. You should always look for the ten attractive traits listed above when dating someone. And, if they don’t have them, maybe it’s time to dump them.

6 Signs of Social Wellness Most People Overlook

August 26, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Social wellness is a concept that encompasses your relationships with those around you and your relationship with yourself. Essentially, if you can maintain individuality while actively taking part in the world around you as a part of the greater picture of humankind, you are socially well. This often creates more excellent care for your community, larger society, and the people around you.

Many people overlook social wellness as an essential part of their overall well-being. In reality, this pillar of health is just as important as physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. When you surround yourself with genuine relationships, healthy friendships, and lovely connections with the people you regularly interact with, it ultimately improves your life.

Social wellness can improve other aspects of your well-being. Do you think you’re socially well? How can you tell? Here are six signs of social wellness most people overlook.

1 – Assertiveness Without Aggression

A lot of people struggle with assertiveness. Essentially, this is the ability to stand up for yourself without feeling afraid or ashamed and without apologizing. When you’re capable of doing this, you’ve achieved some degree of impressive social wellness.

For some, assertiveness can teeter over into aggression, as many people struggle with the conflict of being assertive. Crossing this line can lead to passive aggression or direct aggression, which is not the same as being assertive.

Traits Of Assertiveness That Reflect Social Wellness:

Research shows that you’re assertive if you have the following traits and capabilities:

You don’t experience any negative emotions when you communicate boundaries and needs.
You can maintain comfortable and positive relationships with the people around you.
You’re well aware of your rights.
You feel free to express your desires, emotions, and thoughts.
You don’t bottle up your thoughts, so you don’t get resentful and angry about your needs not being met.
When you do experience anger, you have control over it and can express it productively.
You’re willing to compromise with the people around you without reducing your rights.
You know a good mix of verbal and non-verbal forms of assertiveness and can utilize both as needed.
You’ll easily differentiate between assertiveness, aggression, and passive-aggression.
You don’t feel ashamed for expressing your needs; set healthy boundaries without apologizing.

2 – Respectful Treatment Of Others

The ability to treat the people around you with respect is a huge sign of social wellness. It means you have excellent or comfortable relationships with the people around you and are happy to be the “bigger person” in times of unfair conflict. You don’t feel threatened by the people around you and have no interest in bringing them down for any reason.

Respect is a reasonably nuanced topic. It doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone all the time. It doesn’t mean allowing people to walk over you or always letting them have their way. And it certainly doesn’t mean giving space or compromises with those who have abhorrent or inherently negative, harmful views and intentions.

Instead, respecting others means knowing the rights of all human beings and knowing that these people, no matter who or what they are, deserve those rights. It also means having positive interactions with others and respecting their boundaries, needs, and communication.

3 – Well-Balanced Social And Personal Time

Everyone must balance their “me-time” and the time they spend with others. Even introverts benefit from social interaction and must have it in their lives, and even extroverts must take time to recharge on their own.

Studies explain that social interaction is crucial to well-being, but personal time is just as important. Further research indicates that having me-time is vital for work and home well-being and can even strengthen relationships.

Many people struggle with loneliness when not with others, but you can be alone without being lonely. Learning to enjoy your own company is an enriching experience, and the ability to take yourself out on dates and sit with yourself is a clear indication of social wellness.

On the flip side, some people struggle to make friends and dislike regular social interaction. Taking it slow and steady by joining online groups, community clubs, local volunteer organizations, and other similar circles can be a great way to incorporate more social experiences in life.

Once you have balanced personal and social time, you have one aspect of social wellness. To take it a step further, you must have good social times with strong circles of uplifting, genuine people you like. After all, your social wellness depends on the people you’re social with.

4 – An Ability To Be Oneself

It may surprise you, but many signs of social wellness lie in yourself. When you connect with others, you want to be authentic if you aim to be socially well. It sounds simple, but it’s something many people struggle with. The ability to ultimately be yourself is a powerful and valuable trait.

When you’re socially well, you can be entirely who you are when introducing yourself to others and hanging out with friends or family. This state means that you:

Are you comfortable in your skin
Feel valued and appreciated just as you are
Are relaxed around your friends and family
Feel like you belong in the spaces you’re in
Can step outside your comfort zone without compromising your identity
Are secure about yourself and don’t compare yourself to others or bring others down
Love and accept yourself, even while acknowledging things you’d like to improve
Have healthy self-esteem and don’t rely on others for validation

5 – Participation In Community and Having Fun Doing It

Social wellness isn’t just about your close friends and family. It’s also about having plenty of acquaintances with whom you have positive or neutral relationships and can confidently interact. For many who struggle with social confidence, this seems like an impossible concept, but human beings are naturally social creatures. We thrive on human-to-human connection, and those moments are ones to be grateful for!

Sometimes it can be challenging to participate in a community, even if it’s one you’ve grown up around or spent many years being technically a part of. You can attempt to increase your community participation in the following ways:

Spending a few minutes chatting with those in your neighborhood
Joining clubs and groups locally that you’re interested in
Striking up conversations with those you see regularly
Expanding your horizons and seeking out new communities and friends beyond your usual sphere
Volunteering for organizations that you believe in
Participating in community events
Play a community sport
Seeking mentors in your field

On top of this, one of the critical features of social wellness is your ability to have fun when you’re in social situations. There’s not much point in being around other people if you’re constantly anxious, uncomfortable, or otherwise unhappy in those situations. Having fun improves your overall happiness and forms positive connections, facilitating bonding moments that encourage you to perform further social interaction.

This isn’t to say that you can’t ever be socially well if you have social anxiety. But you can’t deny that being at peace, letting loose, and having tons of fun is part and parcel of spending time with the people you like. If social interaction robs you of any ability to have fun, then you have a little way to go on your journey to social wellness.

6 – Good Communication Skills And Better Relationships

The absolute cornerstone of social wellness is your ability to communicate. Without good communication, conflict arises, and any relationship can fall apart. No one can read anyone else’s mind, so if there’s something that needs to be said, that has to be said out loud!

But communication is about more than just talking about what you think. It’s about knowing how to do so productively and positively. This facilitates better conflict-solving abilities and helps relationships to stay strong and grow stronger. This involves:

Using non-blaming languages when pointing out an issue that you have with someone, allowing for open discussion
Having excellent listening skills and aiming to understand people when you hear them out, instead of simply listening to formulate a response
Expressing your thoughts and feelings without feeling ashamed of them
Letting go of avoidant behaviors and directly dealing with conflict, thus reducing the build-up of resentment
Being constructive and firm without being harsh or unfair when calling someone out for negative behavior
Knowing when it’s time to take a break and try again when it comes to complex conflicts or communication
Feeling comfortable expressing your needs and talking about what you want without providing a disclaimer or apologizing.

Good communication skills also allow you to open up to the most trustworthy people in your life. You’re not overly generous with who gets to see you at your most vulnerable, but you’re also not unnecessarily closed-off. This means that you form genuine and close relationships with a select few people who have earned your trust and feel the same about you.

These communication skills also allow you to learn from the people around you. You always have your listening ears open and are curious about what people have to share. If you leave most conversations a little bit wiser and are happy about that, then you have a high level of social wellness!

Final Thoughts On Some Signs Of Social Wellness Most People Overlook

Social wellness is an integral part of a healthy and happy life. If you notice that you tick off many of these signs of social wellness, congratulations! You have a healthy social life and a good balance of prioritizing and loving yourself while caring about others. You have a healthy support system, a good circle of close friends, and positive interactions with your community.

Do you think you’re not socially well? The good news is that you can improve your social wellness by strengthening your social skills and working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. If you need some help, don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional, especially one who specializes in socialization and social anxiety!

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!