Page 1053

111 Ways to Say “I Love You” To Your Partner

October 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship with your partner, they will never get tired of hearing those three little words that mean so much. However, sometimes, you need to spice things up a bit and put a creative spin on telling your partner you love them. You can even “tell” them how you feel without actually saying a word! As they say, actions speak louder than words, so maybe this long list of ways to show your partner how you feel about them will get you inspired to sweep your lover off their feet all over again.

Life can sometimes get in the way of even the strongest relationships, so this list will help you get ideas on how to continue nurturing and growing your relationship, even when times seem tough.

111 Ways to Say “I Love You” To Your Partner

1) Send a cute text message or leave a love note in their purse or wallet before they leave for work.

2) Buy your cutie their favorite snack on your next shopping trip.

3) Make them a special dinner in the middle of the week, just because you can.

4) Learn something with your partner that they have an interest in, such as surfing or playing guitar.

5) Kiss your partner unexpectedly, like when you’re waiting in line for ice cream.

6) Bake something sweet and delicious for him/her to show you care.

7) Give him or her a compliment and watch their face light up.

Sweet Gestures That Say I Love You

8) Write him/her a poem or love letter, and leave it in the mailbox for them to find.

9) Look at old photos of you two together.

10) Write down what you love about your partner, and share it with him/her.

11) Give your partner a full body massage.

12) Take your lover on a cute date, like a picnic.

13) Buy your partner a small gift, like flowers or a candy bar.

14) Learn to love the little things about your partner that you find annoying.

15) Cuddle your partner in the mornings before work.

16) Go walk in nature together, and get lost to your heart’s content.

17) Massage your lover’s neck while they drive.

18) Give him/her a compliment in front of others.

19) Buy your love tickets to their favorite band.

20) Allow your special someone to pick where to eat next time.

Thoughtful Things to Show You Care

21) Send flowers to their workplace, along with a cute love note.

22) Call just because you can.

23) Make him/her a thoughtful homemade gift, like a hat or scarf.

24) Wash his/her car as a nice surprise.

25) Do an errand for them that they haven’t had time for lately.

26) Say something totally mushy and cute (but genuine) on your social media about them.

27) Invite him/her out with your friends for an evening.

28) Make them breakfast in bed.

29) Do something totally crazy and unordinary with them, like skydiving.

30) Forget about adulting for a day, and just spend all day with them in bed.

31) Ask them what’s on their mind, and listen.

32) Share with him/her why you chose them out of everyone else.

Creative Ways to Say I Love You

33) Write a song about them.

34) Tell your partner how cute/attractive/handsome/beautiful they are.

35) Look your partner in the eyes for a few moments, and just smile.

36) Become your partner’s workout buddy.

37) Massage his/her feet after a long day of work.

38) Clean up the house for him/her.

39) Tell your partner how beautiful their mind/soul is, and why.

40) Go to a yoga/meditation class with your partner, even if you aren’t that into it.

41) Kiss him/her on the forehead.

42) Read books in bed together.

43) Tell your lover that you believe in them.

44) Buy your SO’s favorite incense or candles.

Make Life an Adventure

45) Plan a vacation together to a place that your lover wants to go.

46) Take your lover out for breakfast one morning.

47) Plan a romantic date, but don’t tell them where you’re going. Surprise them.

48) Help them accomplish their goals, one step at a time.

48) Make a scrapbook of your favorite pics together.

49) Redecorate the house/bedroom with some of his/her favorite colors, artwork, etc.

50) Try out tantric sex together(as long as they feel comfortable first).

51) Watch his/her favorite show or movie with them.

52) Tell your partner to get in the car, and drive them to a beautiful place to spend the afternoon.

Make Your Relationship Your Top Priority

53) Put away your phone and pay complete attention to him/her.

54) Turn off all electronics for a day, and spend time talking and reconnecting to your lover.

55) Help your partner solve a problem in their life.

56) Style your partner’s hair, just for fun.

57) Make a healthy meal for him/her.

58) Encourage your lover to follow their dreams, no matter how big.

59) Burn a CD for him/her, or just make a playlist for them.

60) Listen to them with the intent to understand, not to reply.

61) Help him/her clean out their car.

62) Watch a sunrise or sunset with your lover.

63) Laugh with them.

64) Allow him or her to be vulnerable and open without judgment.

65) Pull out old boardgames to play together.

66) Watch a mind-opening documentary together, and talk about it afterwards.

67) Send him or her a funny meme or video at work.

Be Vulnerable

68) Give your mate a big, long hug.

69) Help him or her get over one of their fears, and be there every step of the way.

70) Let them finish talking completely before you reply.

71) Do a chore that they normally do, such as grocery shopping or picking up dry cleaning.

72) Ask about their day.

73) Write a love message on the back of their car.

74) Bring your partner to their favorite place.

75) Take them hiking somewhere beautiful.

The Smallest Gestures Can Say I Love You

76) Wash the laundry for him/her.

77) Choose to see only the good qualities about your partner.

78) Do something you normally would hate, but they love, such as watching a sports game together.

79) Accept him/her as they are, today.

80) Do something therapeutic together, like a massage, acupuncture, etc.

81) Choose to sit in silence together for a bit, and just enjoy each other’s company.

82) Shower or bathe together.

83) Go somewhere quiet where the two of you can just relax and bond without distractions.

84) Make a yummy meal with your man or woman.

85) Help them silence his/her biggest insecurities.

86) Work on a project together, such as cleaning the house or building a bookshelf.

87) Allow them to share their deepest thoughts without criticism or interruptions.

88) Ask your partner about their biggest dreams, and help them to reach their goals.

89) Play their favorite song in the car.

Have a Little Bit of Fun

90) Try couple’s yoga!

91) Tell jokes with your partner.

92) Surprise your lover with morning sex to get the day started on the right note!

93) Plant a long, passionate kiss on their lips unexpectedly.

94) Go stargazing with them.

95) Listen to an educational podcast or YouTube channel together.

96) Tell him/her “I love you” in public.

97) Commit to saying positive affirmations with him/her in the mornings and evenings.

98) Create a sanctuary somewhere in your home or apartment for them to retreat to on hard days.

99) Tell them how wonderful they are, just because.

100) Buy him/her a new shirt that you know they’d love.

101) Go see a concert with your lover.

102) Initiate sex by making the first move.

103) Build up your partner with kindness and encouragement.

104) Act like kids for a day and color, draw, play outside, roll around in the grass, go to a playground, etc.

105) Sit outside and enjoy the day together.

106) Look up at the clouds with your lover and figure out what shapes they make.

107) Plan a fun road trip together.

108) When something stressful happens, give them a hug until they calm down.

109) When you get angry with him/her, take a few deep breaths before you respond.

110) Take a walk in the park together, and bring a soccer ball or Frisbee for something fun to play with!

111) Learn a new sport together, and practice it often!

Do you do any of these with your partner already? Let us know in the comments below!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Types of Toxic Coworkers And How to Deal With Them

October 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Work is stressful for many people (even on a good day). Toxic coworkers can cause even more stress and frustration at work, which can lead to difficulties at home and health-related issues. As the stress takes its toll on our emotional stability and physical well-being, our productivity and happiness go down. Toxic coworkers can literally suck the life out of us if we aren’t careful. We all have them and we all have to deal with them in a professional manner.

Here are five types of toxic coworkers and how to deal with them:

1. The Politician

The Politician is obsessed with inter-office politics. They are more worried about getting the next high profile project or client than actually doing their work. They spend most of their day reminding the boss how awesome they are and talking with other employees to try and figure out what is going on and who is doing what. It is all a game to them and one they plan on winning, even if they have to back-stab and step on everyone they work with to win.

Don’t get drawn into their schemes or plots. Don’t give them any more information than you have to, as they will suck away your time asking questions about who is doing what or who is the boss’s favorite. Also, document all of your work and make sure that your work flows directly to your boss and not through the Politician. Save emails and voicemail in case you need proof that you, in fact, did the work, and not the Politician who likely wants credit for it. Be careful with emails, as the Politician will ask you to forward work to them for review while they send it on to the boss and claim credit for it.

2. The Singularity

A Singularity is also called a Black Hole. They are time suckers in that they procrastinate and wait to the last minute to complete assignments or turn in projects. They’re always in a crisis. They are negative and always have some sob story or another to share with you as to why they are late or behind schedule.

The easiest way to deal with them is to leave enough room in the schedule between the deadline you give them and the actual deadline. This way, their crisis does not become a actual crisis for you.

3. The Rumor Monger

This person is the nexus for the office rumor mill. They spend most of their day chatting with coworkers. Furthermore, they dig for juicy tidbits of personal information. They get a perverse pleasure from talking about other people. They waste everyone’s time with trivial stories about fellow coworkers that may or may not even be true. In short, they are a massive time sucker.

Don’t engage with them. They will take anything you say and spread it around the office. Unless you want information to be spread to everyone in the office, then don’t talk to this person. Anything you say will be passed on to everyone else.

4. The Slacker

This person spends more time working to avoid work than just doing their job. They’re content to let everyone else in the office pick up their slack. They don’t care what anyone thinks of them. So if they can get away with not doing anything, then they will do as little as possible. They spend a lot of time learning exactly what they can get away with and how little they can do without getting fired.

The best way to deal with them is to demand accountability and pop in to visit unannounced. Keep them on their toes so that they never know when they will be checked up on. Also, if you reward their productivity when they actually produce, you may incentivize them into better work habits without the increased supervision.

5. The Social Butterfly

This person wants to chat and goof off all day with their coworkers. They see work as a chance to socialize and hangout. They’re loud and distracting, as they are inherently charismatic and funny. They are typically immature and unprofessional and like to fan office drama for their own enjoyment. They tend to waste work time with non-work-related conversations and distract other employees.

They tend to have a lot of energy and good interpersonal skills, and if you can redirect those positive traits into work-related areas, they may become an asset. Until then, they will require a lot of supervising and redirecting them back onto the task at hand.

5 Ways to Show The One You Love You Truly Care

October 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Every love relationship becomes more open and vulnerable over time, and because of this comfort level, we might tend to say things that are more harsh than something we might say to a total stranger. We might even do it without meaning to. Behaviors might include nagging, arguing, being contrarian to their ideas, or contradicting them in front of others. That can be true, even if we really care for them deeply. These things can wear down a relationship like water flowing over the ground. Eventually, that water will cut a groove that grows into a chasm separating us from each other.

So, how can we fill in that canyon, build a bridge across it, and reconnect with our partner? We can start by building them up instead of wearing them down.

Doing these 5 things Will Show Your Partner That You Truly Do Care

1. Accept Them For Who They Are

The first thing you can do is stop thinking you can improve or fix them. They don’t need fixing. If they decide to change or better themselves, you can certainly support them, but it is not up to you to make them who you wish them to be. Love them without conditions or stipulations. Give to them without strings attached or expectations of repayment. That is not how it works. Accept them for who and what they are, warts and all. The most important thing is to tell them you love and accept them as they are. Remind them every day how much you care for them and express gratitude for them being in your life.

Overlook their faults and focus instead on their strengths and positive attributes. If you enter into a relationship thinking that the other person is a fixer-upper and you can change them, then you have already started breaking the relationship. That attitude is toxic and will lead to frustration and resentment when your partner continues being who they are instead of who you wish they were.

2. Compliment Often and Sincerely

Compliment them every single day. Tell them how beautiful they are and how much you enjoy spending time with them. Pay attention to them and notice little things like their new shirt or haircut. Everyone likes to be noticed and complimented on their appearance or intelligence. Let them know, verbally, how much they mean to you.

Verbalizing your affection is an excellent way to reinforce your feelings. Additionally, your openness reveals your vulnerability and suggest you want a deeper connection.

3. Show Interest In The Things They Care About

The universe does not revolve around you. Your partner likes things, too, which may differ from what you like. If you always have to have your way, see the movie you want to see, eat at the restaurant you want to eat at or visit the place you want for a vacation, it gets old for the other person. Try doing the things they want to do, seeing the places they want to see, or asking about things they are interested in. Everyone likes to receive attention and enjoys talking about exciting things. Do things together even if you aren’t that into whatever they enjoy. They will enjoy sharing it with you, and you might even like it.

4. Be Patient With Them

If you ask your partner for help doing something, but it is not an emergency, don’t go back five minutes later and start griping about why they haven’t started yet. Give them time to get things done. They may need to do something with a higher priority or is time-sensitive. Let them get it done within the schedule they have to work with. If it is a legitimate emergency or time-sensitive, make sure they know it before you start flipping out. They won’t know if you don’t tell them. Nagging them every five minutes will not get it done any faster. Let them handle it and tell them you are confident they can do it.

5. Be Thankful For What They Do

No one likes an ingrate. Be grateful for them and everything they do for you. Let them know you are grateful as well. Tell them how much you appreciate what they do and how hard they work to provide for or care for the family. Be genuinely grateful and give them more than a quick “Hey thanks,” you might toss a total stranger for holding the door for you.

Final Thoughts on Why You Should Show Your Love That You Care

In the intricate dance of life, where emotions and connections intertwine, showing your love how much you care becomes the rhythm that keeps the bond strong. It’s not just a matter of making grand gestures. Instead, the daily acts of understanding, patience, and genuine affection. In a world brimming with fleeting moments, these consistent expressions of love create an enduring melody, reminding us that to love is to feel and demonstrate your affection actively.

10 Things Strong Women Don’t Give A Damn About

October 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We’ve witnessed incredible progress in the status of women in the past 100 years. That said, the demographic that makes up nearly 49 percent of all people is still due some postponed justice. And among those are many a strong woman ready to shine in the limelight.

Although there is much debate regarding the true “status” of women in society, consider these statistics:

– Women earn 21 percent less pay than men. The average earnings for a man in 2013: $50,033. A woman: $39,157.

– Of all Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) of Fortune 500 companies, just 22 of them are women.

– In a study of 272 women, 54 percent reported having experienced workplace sexual harassment.

We venture a guess (and hope) that most people reading this article hold the viewpoint that both genders are equal. Different, but equal. Sadly, society as a whole has obliviously failed – on numerous occasions – to bridge the gap that exists between the sexes.

As a result, women have had to endure struggles that are not often voiced. Consequently, most women have inherently strengthened themselves from having to endure unjust treatment. Problems persist, but so does the female will.

“I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.” – Madonna

This segues into this article, “10 Things to Stop Giving a Damn About When You’re a Strong Woman.” While the title may sound somewhat combative, it is not intended to be as such. But the truth is that women do need, and should have, internal characteristics that help them navigate a society that can be very challenging.

Here are 10 things strong women don’t give a damn about:

1. Giving a damn about fashion

Some women love fashion for the sake of the art, and that’s different. But “keeping up with the Joneses” is not something women should take particular pride in. The purchase of an overpriced garment – one that will be “out of fashion” in a month or two, is definitely not something a strong woman should give a damn about!

2. Giving a damn about a bad “ex”

Many men have no quibbles about giving women a heads-up in the “class” category. Hey, when the majority of crimes are committed by men – including aforementioned, ubiquitous sexual harassment – there should be faint argument otherwise.

That said, strong woman, despite all of your good intentions, stop giving a damn about that unsavory character you once called a “boyfriend.”

3. Giving a damn about “staying in your place”

This is not 1916, it’s 2016. Women should not feel obliged to remain content with “keeping quiet,” “keeping about the household,” and other antiquated, compartmentalized roles they “should” have. Give us all a break. Strong woman, you don’t need to “stay in your place;” quite the contrary, we need your good head and heart to venture outside of it.

4. Giving a damn about toxic relationships

Kind of related to #2, but more broad in scope. Most women are incredibly empathetic and loyal, and some are prone to avoid conflict with whoever may be toxic in their life. The truth is that some people are bad for us, even if they do not recognize it.

5. Giving a damn about mistakes made

This one applied to both sexes, but strong women shouldn’t get too carried away by past mistakes. As mentioned, women have a tendency to “feel” a bit deeper than their male counterparts; this includes feeling mistakes for a period of time far beyond committing them. Rest assured, strong woman, you’ve got much to offer beyond some silly mistake.

6. Giving a damn about Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat…

In itself, there is nothing wrong with social media…it is just a tool. But, as with many other things people have managed to somehow screw up, we manipulate the tool to be something for which it wasn’t designed.

The prolific use of social media has had a “net negative” effect for many women, particularly teens and young adults. The simply reason is that we place far too much emphasis on who pays attention to us (i.e. “likes” or “friends”). Who cares? Be you strong woman, be you!

7. Giving a damn about a so-called “perfect body”

Ok…first off, this doesn’t exist. What exactly is a “perfect body”? Who gets to decide what constitutes a “perfect body”? Some men do not particularly care for a slim, toned look for females; yet, it is so heavily propagated in a myriad of media outlets.

It’s difficult to explain exactly why this is, but one theory is money. There’s a lot of revenue in fashion (surprise!) and in publishing, and the “forces that be” have decided for us what body form to emulate and admire. Who gives a damn?

8. Giving a damn about status

There’s a lot of “status” related things on this list isn’t there? Sadly, our society pushes the “latest and greatest” onto young women more than any other demographic. Again, money is deemed to be the culprit here.

That aside, just be your “best you.” Define “success” on your own terms. Strong woman, your perceived “status” will never define your true character.

9. Giving a damn about conformity

Outside of a few distant places, women have the right to speak their minds. If you’re fortunate enough to live in such a place, please do so!

Strong woman, we need your input. You’re smarts, strong character and good heart are all desperately needed in this day in age!

10. Giving a damn about other people’s opinions

“You don’t have a right to your own opinion, you have a right to an informed opinion.” This statement, while certainly subjective in nature, can indeed apply to one’s character. Unfortunately, there are so many assumptions made about a woman’s character that has absolutely nothing to do with the truth.

So, strong woman…stop giving a damn about someone’s uninformed opinion!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Evening Habits That Set You Up For A Day of Success

October 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand. – Vince Lombardi

Those of us who have played sports or been involved in any kind of competitive activity, will attest that several variables – controllable and uncontrollable – ultimately determine our success. Our job is to execute on the former without being negatively impacted by the latter.

Vince Lombardi is considered by many to be the most outstanding professional football coach of all time. Perhaps Lombardi’s most celebrated attribute was his ability to motivate and get the best of out his players and staff. He realized that people require drive and motivation to produce their best work and be successful.

Lombardi also realized that, while he was a great coach, much of the will to succeed came from inside of the players themselves. And so it is with each one of us. If success is to be our destination, we must commit to self-discipline. We must commit to “perfecting” the right behaviors and mitigating the wrong ones. This includes recognizing – and working on – all controllable factors…even those that are much less obvious.

Our evening habits play a crucial role in our success, though we may not give them the attention they deserve at times. It is so easy, in this era of overwork and overexposure to stress, to use our evening time counterproductively. We must resist such forces, however tempting they may be.

To that end, we’ve developed a list of five evening habits that will prepare you for a day of success. We encourage you to consider each one and measure your aptitude on each.

Here are five evening habits that create tomorrow’s success:

1. Prioritize physical activity

This is a drum that has been beaten before, and will be beaten again: physical activity – of any and every kind – is absolutely critical to our well-being. This also includes our relative success. When we prioritize physical activity, we’re fine-tuning our minds and bodies for the work ahead of us.

Though not a “typical” time for working out, getting your sweat on at night can be beneficial. After all, what better time for a physical and mental tune-up than after a long day’s work? We could probably use some stress relief too, and exercise is arguably the best stress reliever out there.

2. Give loved ones your time

Of course, it is important to devote some of your valuable off-time to friends and family. Success isn’t truly success unless its achieved with your loved ones. One of the perceivable shortcomings of some of those who’ve achieved great success (e.g. Einstein) is that they did so while sacrificing their relationships. Maybe it wasn’t the intent of Mr. Einstein, but many of his relationships were an abysmal failure; though, the man himself remains one of the most celebrated.

Most of us are not Albert Einstein. We’re probably not going to devise anything similar to the Theory of Relativity; or attempt to provide an equation for the space/time continuum. But, whatever our definition of success is, we’re going to find it difficult to get there without prioritizing our loved ones. Even if we should achieve it, as Einstein did, that success may be more bittersweet.

3. Identify tomorrow’s three biggest tasks

This one is incredibly important. Many people are not particularly adept in short-listing our work…we kind of just “go with the flow” at times. The process of trying to achieve success is made more difficult when we don’t prioritize, and this includes in our work.

So, to make things simpler, jot down the tomorrow’s three most demanding tasks and commit to them early. In doing so, it’ll become more difficult to get sidetracked; either with less-important tasks or useless distractions. More energy will be expended in completing these tasks, while both our collective attention and energy will become much more focused.

4. Commit to lifelong learning

Success is more of a mental exercise than anything else. Our cognitive abilities directly impact the likelihood of success on any scale. Thus, it is important to keep our brain active. One of the best ways in ensuring that we remain cognitively-active is to learn something new, each and every day.

The world is saturated with enough interesting information to keep us occupied throughout multiple lifetimes. A terrific way to obtain this new information, while continually-developing our smarts, is to commit to reading for a designated period of time every evening. Give 15 minutes a go at first, and then commit to more if so willing and able.

5. Reflect on the day and give gratitude

Before a well-deserved sleep, make it a goal to reflect on the day. What were some of the successes? What could you have done better? Look forward–what will you do the same tomorrow? What will you do differently? Be honest with yourself.

The eclipsing day undoubtedly brought its trials; and sometimes it’s important to reflect on those, as mentioned above.

Just as important, however, is to recognize – and give gratitude towards – the many blessings that unfolded throughout the day. What are you grateful for? Remember that gratitude and carry it forward. As John F. Kennedy said: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciate is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

4 Signs Someone Is Suffering From Emotional Distress

September 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Modern society is a sea of drama. From real dramas that play out, sometimes in real time, across the news/twitter/podcasts or just with family to fake dramas on the television or at the movies, we are saturated in things that push our emotional buttons. There is drama all over social media. Then, there are the close to home dramas of work stress, deadlines, children and family. We are like the frog that is slowly boiling to death in a pot whose temperature is rising so slowly the frog does not notice it until it is dead. The people around us notice when we start getting short with people, drag around work or home with little energy, and bite people’s heads off for no apparent reason.

Here are four signs you are emotionally distressed, and how to heal from them:

1. You Withdraw From The World If You’re Emotionally Distressed

Most of us deal with the daily drama by trying to escape into books, video games, sports or music. When you are emotionally distressed, you spend more and more time in these fantasies as a way to escape the reality lurking just outside. We just want to relax on a beach with a cold drink in our hand. When life beats us down, we want to run for our life.

What you need to do is turn around and push through it. This seems counterintuitive, but you cannot run from your problems or the drama in your life forever. Face them down one by one. Eliminate that drama from your life through solving the underlying problem or removing the drama from your life. So change jobs to something less stressful or more enjoyable, stop hanging out with that friend who generates drama constantly, or ask for help in reducing the stress in your life. Don’t let circumstances dictate your response. Take back control of your life. You are the master of your fate; you are the captain of your soul.

2. When You’re Emotionally Distressed, Your Patience Wears Very Thin

Yes, we get very snippy when we are stressed. We have zero patience for people and their BS. We want to be done with work/school/commitments right freakin’ now. That’s it…we are done. So done with this. Everyone can see that you are frazzled and stressed out.

So, take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds and let everything that is bugging you the hell go. Just let it go. Let’s face it. The things that are stressing you out are not going to be fixed right away. This isn’t a marathon. It is a siege, months or years of slowly grinding through the enemy defenses until you can storm in and achieve your goal. So, settle in for the long wait while you chip away at your stress. This isn’t a struggle for miles, but for inches. Fight for every single inch. Claw and crawl towards your goal an inch at a time. Don’t give up. Don’t waste valuable energy blasting everyone around you with your frustration. Be patient and keep moving forward. One inch at a time.

3. You Feel Drained All Of The Time

Chronic stress and drama can drain your mental, physical and emotional energy. It zaps the will. You feel trapped in a tarpit surrounded by other folks who are also desperately trying to free themselves from the trap. The more furious your struggle against it, the quicker you will tire out and and the further you will sink into the pit. At this point, there are two ways this could go: You can lay down and quit or…

You can get up and fight like hell. Yeah, you are tired and stressed. So is everyone else. If you need to recharge your batteries, then go do something to relieve that stress. Turn up the Rocky training montage and hit the gym, go for a hike, or go dancing. Get the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing. Remind yourself that you are alive and vibrant and full of power. Do this even when all you want to do is collapse on the couch. A body in motion stays in motion. Staying in motion is the very definition of being alive.

4. Negative Emotions Bubble To The Surface

Anger, bitterness, jealousy and frustration will bubble to the surface much more easily and quickly when you are emotionally distressed. The barriers between your negative emotions and the rest of the world are weakened by the stress and drama. Those emotions also escalate much faster and with more power as we lack the energy to hold them in check. People that are under stress will lash out with a vehemence that most people were unaware they possess. Inside everyone lurks a primal beast. Most of us keep that beast caged and starve it into submission. It feeds on negative emotions, and the more you have, the more powerful it becomes.

So, how do we rob this beast of its power? Well, you take it for a walk. Do something constructively destructive. Go do a few rounds on the heavy bag. Chop up that tree in the backyard that needs to be turned into firewood. Sign up for Habitat for Humanity and get in on some demolition work before a remodel gets going.

You have a couch that needs to go in the trash? Chop that sucker up into little pieces out in the backyard so that it will fit in the trash can. Scream your frustrations to the sky. When the beast is too tired to fight back any longer, then you stuff it back into its cage. Take control of your life again. Take control of your emotions again. Wear that beast out like a Matador wearing down a bull. When it is good and tired, you finish it off and move on with your life.

Final Thoughts on Coping With Being Emotionally Distressed

You are not a victim of life, or of circumstance, unless you let yourself be a victim. You are in control of your actions and you are in control of your emotional state. Emotional distress and stress in general is a dragon in your life. You can lay down and let yourself be eaten, you can slay that sucker or you can grab a saddle, wrestle it into submission and ride that armored fire-worm into the sunset like a total bad-ass. It is all up to you.

How to Identify (and Get Rid Of) Limiting Beliefs

September 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Are your limiting beliefs holding you back from leading your best life?

There are two wolves at war for your soul and the one that wins is the one you feed. There is a positive, constructive and determined one and a negative, counter-productive and hopeless one. Like all wolves, they hunt in and are reinforced as a pack. If you surround yourself with negative thoughts and people, then you will fall prey to that mentality. You will see hopeless situations everywhere you look. You will give up before the contest has adequately gotten started. If you cultivate positive outlooks, identify and dismiss negative thoughts or viewpoints and surround yourself with positive people, you will find yourself empowered and motivated.

So, how can we identify and eliminate negative and limiting beliefs or thoughts? Well, here are some methods to try.

How to Identify (and Get Rid Of) Limiting Beliefs

1. Identify Which Wolf You Are Feeding

The easiest way to do this is to write down how you feel about situations in your life that you wish were better. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to find the love of your life? Or, do you want that better job / promotion? Write down what you think about your situation and how likely that situation will turn out positively or in your favor. This should be your stream of consciousness; don’t overthink or analyze your thoughts just yet. Put it away for a day and look at it tomorrow with fresh eyes. Find all of the negative statements, thoughts or feelings you put down and highlight them. How much of what you wrote is negative or self-criticizing? If it is mostly negative thoughts, then you are feeding the wrong wolf.

2. Find The Truth In Your Thoughts And Feelings

Just because you feel it is true doesn’t make it objectively true. Be brutally honest with yourself here. Look your feelings right in the face and stare them down. You might feel that there are no good men/women left in the world, but is that really objectively true? The world’s population is going up exponentially, so there are people finding love and making babies. Maybe you are holding onto a fantasy version of love that isn’t real and that fantasy is limiting your choice of partners. Most of the time, those negative thoughts are just other emotions masquerading as truths. Anger, bitterness, and frustration can all lead to us justifying our failures to ourselves with thoughts that, when viewed from a distance, are objectively false. Strip yourself of unrealistic fantasies. Take a hard look at your strengths and weaknesses. Find the areas you want to improve and write down your objectives.

3. Flip The Script

Once you have identified those negative feelings and thoughts and confronted the truth of your situation and what you realistically want, then you can start to flip the script. Take each of your negative thoughts and write out a positive version of those thoughts and feelings. Go from “I could never lose 20 lbs” to “I will lose 20 lbs in the next six months”. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones with realistic and achievable goals. Do not set unachievable goals for yourself. Those things that seem unachievable when looked at as one large long term goal can be very achievable when broken down into much smaller, near term and very achievable goals. How do you move a mountain? One spoonful at a time.

4. Do The Work

Now that you have identified your negative thoughts, reasoned that they are false and set yourself positive achievable goals, you can begin doing the work necessary to achieve those goals. You cannot sit on the couch and expect to lose weight. Nor will you find love if you don’t put yourself out there and go on dates. You will never get that dream job if you don’t educate yourself and work hard to get it. If you free your body then your mind will follow. If you fail – and you will from time to time – do not get discouraged. It is just an obstacle in your path. Walk around it, climb over it or push it out of the way. Improvise, adapt and overcome. Everyone is powerful when they set their minds to a task and don’t allow themselves the luxury of giving up or turning away. There is no quitting. Your life is, quite literally, on the line.

The 21 Day Relationship Challenge

September 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We all know that relationships can get a little messy sometimes. However, just because you hit a few roadblocks doesn’t mean that you should turn around so quickly. If you want to make your relationship last, you probably know by now that it takes extreme effort, commitment, time, and patience. It takes compromise, active listening, kindness, generosity, love, and acceptance for a relationship to last. However, modern society can easily take its toll on even the strongest of relationships.

When this happens, you need to give some extra TLC to your relationship. You need to step back and figure out, together, what you can do to keep the flames burning, to keep that spark alive between you two. When you truly love someone, this won’t seem like a hassle, but rather, an important step to take in the health of your relationship.

Maybe this 21 Day relationship challenge backed by science will help you to rekindle the flames with your partner or simply break down the walls between you two. Maybe you’ve felt stagnant in your relationship lately and want to spice things up, so take a look at this 30 day challenge for some fun, meaningful relationship ideas!

The 21 Day Relationship Challenge

Day 1: Stare into your partner’s eyes for at least 3 minutes. A study done by UC Davis showed that when couples stared into each other’s eyes, their heart rates became synchronized.

Day 2: Put items in a time capsule that represent your relationship. Then, agree to open it at a later time. You’ll have something to look forward to, and this will help you to focus on positive aspects of your relationship.

Day 3: Go for a quick walk down a new street or nature trail. This will boost both of your moods due to doing something different together.

Day 4: Have dinner together, but instead of at the table, make it a picnic! You can do this either indoors or outdoors, depending on the weather. Sharing a meal together, without phones or other distractions, will help you to reconnect and focus on one another.

Day 5: Surprise your partner with a note in their purse or wallet that they will find later in the day at work. Or, simply show your man or woman that you care by making their lunch before work or bringing them breakfast in bed on their day off. Generosity brings your partner immediate happiness, so try it out sometime.

Day 6: Do a project together, whether that means organizing an area of the house or building a shelf for the movies to go on. When you do something seemingly boring and tedious together, it becomes a fun project that both of you can tackle as a team.

Day 7: Go on a date to one of your favorite places that you’ve been together. This will bring back fond memories, plus offer more opportunity for connecting.

Day 8: Send your partner a funny text, video, or meme during the day. A sense of humor is necessary to make it through life, especially in a romantic relationship.

Day 9: Dance with your partner at home. Just turn on your favorite tunes and break out some dance moves! (You might even learn some new ones from your partner!)

Day 10: Eat chocolate together. Dark chocolate, especially, contains plenty of antioxidants and releases endorphins that will make you feel good. Or, go to a local bakery and bring some treats home to enjoy together!

Day 11: Hold your partner’s hand at an unexpected time, such as at home on the couch. This will surprise them, as well as make them feel safe and paid attention to.

Day 12: Give your partner at least 10 compliments today. Regular assurance and kind words make all the difference in a relationship. Compliments don’t cost a thing, but mean the world to your significant other.

Day 13: Light some candles and put on some soft music when you both get home from work. This will relax both of you and set the mood for a peaceful, rejuvenating evening.

Day 14: Go on a nature walk together, or watch a sunrise/sunset. Being together in the wild will help you bond, and relax both of you. Plus, you might even discover a new place to go on adventures in the future.

Day 15: Get healthy together! Make today the day to start a new workout routine or cook a healthy dish together! You don’t have to do anything too extreme – just a jog before work or some bodyweight exercises are enough to get a routine going.

Day 16: Look at old pictures of you and your lover together. This will hopefully bring back great memories and remind you of where it all began. Also, remember to keep taking pictures regularly to add to your scrapbook!

Day 17: Play a board game, color, play hopscotch, or do anything else that brings you back to childhood. Remember, adults can act like kids sometimes, too!

Day 18: Go to a bookstore for some new books, or even better, choose one that will strengthen your relationship. For example, maybe you could buy a book that asks questions to get to know one another better.

Day 19: Make cooking fun and interesting by making a dish out of whatever you have in the pantry and fridge. Chances are, you’ll come up with a pretty unique concoction that will hopefully taste good and bring some laughs into the kitchen!

Day 20: Kiss as often as you want – it’s good for you! Regular kisses show your partner that you can’t get enough of them, and are also a sweet reminder of how you feel about them.

Day 21: Volunteer together. Helping other people better their lives together will deepen the bond between you, and make other people happier at the same time.

15 Ways to Break Down Walls In Your Relationship

September 29, 2016 by Power of Positivity

It is a cruel and unforgiving world out there. Dog eat dog, survive the fittest, and go the spoils to the victor. Sometimes we feel safe behind fortified walls; we shelter in a safe harbor away from the fierce and uncaring sea. Sometimes we do this in our relationships out of fear, doubt, anger, or shame. We fear being hurt, again and again. We doubt our self-worth or that anyone could ever love us. As a result, we are angry that we are not where we thought we would be in life or who we thought we would be with. Sometimes, we are even ashamed of our failures and missteps along the way.

These emotions and feelings build thick defensive barriers between us and everyone else. These walls may keep us safe, but then again, so does a cage. We can only live a genuinely fulfilling life through accepting some risks and acting decisively when the time comes to do so. A ship is safe at anchor in a protected harbor, but that is not what ships should do.

Fifteen Habits to Build a More Authentic Relationship

Here are fifteen ways to break down the walls in your relationships holding you a prisoner.

1. Overcome Fear with Courage

We fear being hurt or missing a golden opportunity. We fear failure. Fear is our greatest enemy and always has been. Fear will prevent you from acting decisively when you need to. Furthermore, fear will cloud your judgment and push you to make false assumptions about people. Courageous people do not lack fear. They are scared out of their minds like everyone else. The key is not letting fear guide your actions. Push the fear to the back of your mind. Act. Act despite your fear.

You would be surprised at what you can accomplish even when afraid. That beautiful woman/man that you want to approach and talk to but can’t seem to muster the courage? Well, get over there and talk to them. What have you got to lose? Rejection? Well, you aren’t with them now, so what does it matter? And if you do manage to talk to them, you could win their heart. You can’t win anything without courage—the courage to try.

2. Banish Doubt with True Grit

Everyone has doubts–our ability, our partner, our attractiveness, and our worth. If we have doubts and know ourselves the best, why should anyone else believe in us? Be honest about your abilities and weaknesses, and then use your courage to try something. Keep trying until you succeed. The act of perseverance when all the odds are against you is a mark of true grit. True grit is the ability to keep going no matter what. I am sure you had heard it from your father when he said, “Suck it up and keep going.” That is what it means to have true grit. You take the punches and keep moving forward. You keep moving forward because that is how winning is done. Sometimes all your partner wants you to do is try, not to succeed, but to make an effort.

3. Release Shame and Embrace Acceptance

There are things in everyone’s past that cause shame. Sometimes, we are ashamed of who we are inside. Or perhaps we feel shame about our jobs or education. Sometimes we are ashamed of our circumstances or mistakes. The critical thing is that shame holds you down in a hard pit to escape. The only way to escape is to accept yourself and your circumstances. Accept your partner and all of their baggage as well. Once you accept all of that, then you can start moving forward. Do not hold mistakes or events in your past against yourself or your partner. Today is a new day. Yesterday is gone and done. There is nothing you can do to change the past, but you can start changing your future.

4. Refuse Judgment of Others or Yourself

Once you have accepted your past and your partner’s past, you can refuse judgment of yourself and refuse to judge them. Being overly critical of past mistakes is counterproductive and damaging to an excellent long-term relationship. If you find yourself keeping score or holding onto grudges, you are part of the problem. People screw up, even you. Sitting in judgment of them is not your place and does nothing to strengthen the relationship. That is not to say you should not have standards or embrace unacceptable behavior, but if someone is honestly trying to start fresh and better themselves, including yourself, then reminding them of their failures does not move the relationship forward. It moves it backward.

5. Let Go of Resentment and Embrace Love

We resent people or situations because we are angry with them. Being angry always wears you down and adversely affects all of your relationships. No one wants to be with someone angry and resentful all the time. Let go of it. Let go of it because you refuse to judge others for their past, and you have released your shame and accepted yourself the way you are. Embrace your love for yourself and others. Use that love to build yourself up, build up your partner and build up the foundation of the relationship. Eventually, you will build that foundation so much that you have buried the walls between you.

6. Good communication

Good communication breaks down walls in any relationship. Of course, good communication is more than talking to someone. It’s asking them good questions, maintaining eye contact, and staying focused on what’s being said. Good communicators avoid bad habits that build walls in a relationship.

Not focused: Looking at your phone or walking out of a room while your partner is talking signals you’re not interested in what they have to say.
Giving unwanted advice: Don’t be the answer person to your partner. Hold your thoughts and opinions while they’re sharing. Only advise if they express a desire to hear what you think.
Judging: Don’t assume you know your partner’s motives. Don’t criticize them. This is sure to put up some walls in your relationship. Please give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the best about them. Treat them how you like to be treated.

7. Show respect

When you show your partner respect, the walls in our relationship will come down. Showing respect means you acknowledge they have feelings and opinions that may differ from you, and that’s okay. You respect them for who they are rather than wanting them to be like you. If you’re going to break down the walls, practice these respectful habits.

Show compassion in word and deed.
Admit when you’re wrong
No hurtful name-calling
Be patient
Take responsibility
Be quick to forgive without holding it over them
No eye-rolls, heavy frustrated sighs, or other actions to display your irritation

8. Be a good listener

A good listener is an active listener. When your partner is talking to you, look into their eyes, lean forward, and give them your full attention. Being an active listener improves your communication, but according to researchers, it can enhance the happiness in your relationship. If you want to break down the walls of your relationship, develop your listening skills.

9. Show emotional support

Showing your partner emotional support means you will be with them in the good and wrong times. You care about how they feel, and when they’re sad or frustrated, you look for ways to support them. Displaying emotional support means asking your partner good questions to draw them out about their feelings, such as:

How did that make you feel when your brother said that to you?
When your boss did that, how did you react?
How does work worry you the most?
How did it feel when you got passed over for the promotion?
Can I support you more during this challenging time?

Even if you think you know how your partner feels about something, it never hurts to ask. It might surprise you what they’re feeling.

10. Be honest

Relationships have their ups and downs. You don’t always “feel in love” with your partner. Sometimes your partner makes you mad or sad. It doesn’t cancel your love or commitment. Being honest enough to say I’m struggling right now is good. Blame shifting and ranting at your partner is never a good idea. Words damage, and once something is out of your mouth. It’s impossible to take it back. Communicate honestly but kindly, and remember that difficulties come and go. This is the best way to break down walls in our relationship.

11. Forgive without strings

No one enjoys it when someone says they forgive you, but keep bringing up what you did. An ancient text says it well.

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9 NLT)

If you want to break down the walls in our relationship, be willing to forgive. Remember that you make mistakes so you can forgive your partner. Without forgiveness, the walls will never come down. Be sure to vocalize your forgiveness rather than pretending nothing happened. This is unauthentic. Take the time to talk about what happened and express your forgiveness. Be sure to apologize for any contributions you made to the incident.

12. Show gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a sure way to break down walls in your relationship. Showing gratitude for your partner builds positivity in your relationship. It makes your partner feel appreciated. You can show your partner gratitude through your words and your actions.

13. Be careful what you text

Lots of conversations with your partner happen via emails and texts. Be sure to consider what to say and how it may come across. It’s easy to misread someone’s attitudes behind a text or email. Even the most benign text can be received wrong if you’re not careful to fill in details.

14. Show patience

Your partner isn’t perfect, but so what, neither are you. Choose your battles in your relationship. Are you willing to yell at your partner because they throw their clothes on the floor? Is it worth it? Show them patience by your words and actions. Let go of your anger and bitterness. These are unproductive attitudes that put walls up. Talk about problems, but show kindness, care, and, most of all, patience.

15. Show affection

Healthy relationships are built on the appreciation. Hugs, a sweet caress, or a tender kiss before you leave for work tell your partner you love them. Things that you can do to break down walls in your relationship with affection include:

Lots of hugs
Kisses when you get home from work and when you leave
Holding hands in public
Smiling across the room at your partner
Little gifts
Checking in via text or phone call
Saying, “I love you.”

Final Thoughts on Breaking Down Walls in Your Relationship

You must be intentional if you want to break down walls in our relationship. You can kick down these walls with good communication, good listening skills, and showing emotional support. Express your gratitude to your partner and show them affection every day. Having a healthy relationship is worth the effort. Getting the walls out of the way will allow your strong, healthy, and authentic connection to flourish.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!