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12 Habits to Trust Yourself So You Can Accomplish More

July 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

Trust is vital for any relationship to work, whether it’s personal or professional. However, these relationships will fail or be one-sided unless you trust yourself. How do you increase self-belief and give yourself the trust you deserve?

Twelve Ways to Build Trust in Yourself

Practicing self-trust and a healthy love for yourself is not selfish or narcissistic. You can’t love or trust anyone else until you offer the same justice to yourself.

Self-belief can be the fuel that drives your internal flame. Here are some ways that you can learn to enhance your trust within yourself.

1. Don’t Be Caught Up in Perfectionism (It Harms Your Self-Belief)

There’s a common misconception that you must be perfect to trust yourself. Nobody is perfect, and trying to attain such a status is useless. Sadly, perfectionism may stand in your way of achieving your goals because you can’t accept mistakes.

So, because you’re afraid you can’t do something flawlessly, you do nothing. Perfectionism makes you feel like a complete failure, and your self-esteem plummets. Once you’ve embraced self-belief, you see mistakes as learning tools and reject the illusion of being perfect.

2. Give Yourself Some Slack As You Learn to Trust Yourself

Perhaps you value being tough on yourself as a virtue. Although self-reliance, courage, and perseverance are admirable, constantly berating yourself is toxic behavior. Would you have many friends if you treated them the way you treat yourself?

You needn’t lower your standards to develop self-belief and go forward with your dreams. When you’re self-compassionate, you extend the same grace to yourself as you would anybody else. Trust that you can try again even when you fall short or make a mess of things.

3. Accept Your Vulnerability

An article published by UCLA-Berkeley explores the contrast of showing vulnerability. You view the same vulnerability as a strength of character in others but as a weakness in yourself. However, says the article, embracing your vulnerability may allow you to see the beauty in a mess.

If you can trust yourself to lower your guard, other people can see your genuineness. They may be inspired to do the same, which helps in building mutual trust. It may take some time, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable will be a significant strength for you.

4. Start with Baby Steps

Is it possible that you don’t trust yourself enough to make a life-altering decision? Self-belief often starts with small risks, celebrating those victories, and moving on to larger goals.

For example, maybe you’ve wanted to lose a few pounds, but the process feels overwhelming. Instead of a significant goal of losing twenty pounds, try losing five pounds. You can also gradually modify your lifestyle and eating habits to make them healthier.

After the initial five pounds, you gain enough self-confidence to lose another five. Soon, you’ve gradually lost 20 pounds, and you trust that you can do more. You realize that you can apply this principle to other areas of your life you want to address.

5. Trust Yourself By Listening to Your Inner Voice

Perhaps this generation, more than any in the past, understands the meaning of the phrase that silence is golden. Traffic, road equipment, blaring sirens, and shouting people create a noise that overwhelms you. Your thoughts can be drowned out at home by blaring televisions, ringing phones, and noisy family members.

How can you trust yourself if you can’t hear yourself think? Listening to your inner voice is a crucial part of self-belief. You can change negative thought patterns into positive ones and attract more positive results. It’s that soft internal voice that reminds you that you have the power to achieve your goals.

Give your ears a rest and enjoy the silence as often as possible. Take a break from technology and spend some time in quiet meditation. Take a walk in the woods and let your thoughts harmonize with the songs of the birds.

6. Visualize Your Affirmations

The law of attraction works in tandem with self-belief, as you will attract whatever vibes you send into the Universe. If you send negative affirmations, the Universe will agree and get negative results. Consequently, if your affirmations are positive, you’ll attract more positive things in your life.

You make your declarations stronger with visualization. It puts action to your declarations by living as though they’ve already happened. For example, you want to be a successful entrepreneur, so you start having the confidence of one.

7. Communicate with Honesty

Many people grow up without their voice being heard, or they’re made to think that their opinions don’t matter. As you learn to trust in your abilities more, you regain your voice and are more honest with yourself about your feelings.

You don’t have to camouflage your emotions, and you can communicate with others honestly. Your self-belief will help you acknowledge your right to let them know what you’re thinking and how you feel. Not only will they respect you more, but you’ll have more respect for yourself.

8. Know What Matters Most to You

According to a study published by the Journal of Happiness Studies, defining life priorities is linked with well-being. You decide the essential things in your life and strive for them daily. As you learn to trust yourself more, you have the confidence to stand up for your priorities.

One of the best ways to help accomplish this is to make a list. It can be on a separate piece of paper or as part of your journal. Place your list where you can read it every day.

Most people list the tangible things: family, home, job, provisions, friends, etc. You’ll probably have subcategories for each of these priorities. These priorities don’t take much thought to list.

You’ll see how much you trust yourself when considering the intangible ones. How important are your spiritual walk and your relationship to the divine? What defines love and security to you or what makes you successful?

9. Turn Away from Toxic People

Everyone’s had someone in their lives who was bad news, as they were a toxic influence. These people might be a lover, family members, friends, or coworkers. These negative personalities drain your energy and frustrate you. Some may also keep you in a horrible cycle of abuse, which does nothing for your confidence or self-worth.

Toxic people are bullies and manipulators who want to control what you do and how you think. They can often beat you down so much that you don’t trust yourself to make any decisions. These are people who don’t deserve a place in your circle.

Your self-trust gives you the strength to stand up and tell them enough is enough. You deserve love, respect, and dignity, and those who can’t give it can walk away. Surround yourself with positive folks who love and support you as they should.

10. Trust Yourself With Some Self-Love

Unfortunately, many people compare themselves to the false illusions created by Hollywood. They use lights, camera tricks, computer enhancement, and makeup to represent the ideal person. These underhanded tricks are primarily aimed at women and teens.

These images rattle your self-esteem in their efforts to make you feel “less than.” Unless you have these designer clothes, drive this sports car, live in this mansion, or have this body, you’re nothing. So, this media deception has created generations of undernourished, self-absorbed people chasing empty dreams.

The good news is that you can love and trust yourself just as you are. You don’t need a specific body shape or other material goods to be considered worthy. Self-trust lets you acknowledge that you’re more than enough, and that’s all you need.

11. Build On Your Strengths

Here is a little experiment that can go a long way in trusting yourself. Step outside of yourself for a while and be an observer. Write a list of your strengths as if you were writing about someone you know.

Of course, it’s challenging to be objective when writing about yourself, even in this experiment. Just be non-judgmental and list your admirable strengths, talents, and skills. Look at this list and see how you might not have given yourself enough credit.

Are you a proficient organizer, excellent communicator, and skilled active listener? What skills have you learned that have brought you success? Are you a loyal and loving mate, family member, and friend?

12. Learn to Say No

Why do so many people feel obligated to agree to every odd request? Whether volunteering for the P.T.A. bake sale or babysitting your neighbor’s hyperactive child, you can’t say no. Somewhere in your life, people-pleasing has become a pattern for you to gain acceptance.

Give yourself permission to say no and do it often. You needn’t be rude. Just say you’re sorry, but you can’t do it. Then, you’ll have more time to do the things you want.

Final Thoughts on Learning to Trust Yourself

Today, decide that you are going to have more trust in yourself. You have the strength, intelligence, and spirit to make a beautiful life. It’s yours to have and share with those who mean the most to you.

10 Small Talk Starters Perfect for Every Introvert

July 16, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Do you automatically clam up when you meet a stranger, or do you have issues when a whole group of them surrounds you? You can find a happy medium between being a social butterfly and a wallflower who avoids small talk. It’s all about how you present yourself–try these conversation starters.

Ten Helpful Small Talk Starters for Excellent Conversation

Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you lack conversation skills. However, you’ll never regret learning to break the ice in a crowd. Try some of these helpful conversation starters.

1. Ask Them to Tell You About Themselves (an open-ended way to start the small talk)

Perhaps one of the most sensible conversation starters is to ask someone to tell you a little about themselves. According to an article published by PNAS, people spend thirty to forty percent of conversations discussing their experiences. Not only does this small talk put strangers at ease, but it makes you seem more intelligent.

How you phrase the question can also make the answers more interesting. Don’t just ask something generic like where they’re from or where they work. Instead, ask a broader question about their life.

2. How Do You Know the Host?

Assume you’re invited to a party at a friend’s house and don’t know anyone there. Instead of standing silently back in the corner of the room, it’s best to have some conversation starters planned. Ask the stranger near you how they know or are related to the host.

You might discover that you both have mutual friends. A polite and skilled host knows how to introduce people in a group and who would be more compatible with whom. Meeting new mutual friends can quickly help you find common ground for small talk and conversation.

3. Is this Your First Time Here?

One of the things you don’t want to do is to make your conversation starter sound like a cheesy pickup line. However, asking someone you’ve just met about the venue is fine. If it’s a first-time visit for them also, you’ll have the opportunity to share small talk about the experience.

If not, they may give you helpful advice about food, drinks, and other amenities. If you’re in a crowd of unfamiliar folks in someone’s home, feel free to start small talk about something you admire. Your host will appreciate it, and it may open a lively discussion.

4. What are Some of Your Interests?

Two classic observations about human attraction and relationships seem to contradict. How can birds of a feather flock together and opposites attract both be true? Opposite magnetic poles may attract, but people aren’t magnets.

A study published by the University of Kansas suggests that human brains are hard-wired to attract those who are similar. The case can be true whether it’s a personal or professional relationship. When you and a new acquaintance discover mutual interests, the small talk can cause you to bond quickly.

5. What’s Your Story?

Here’s a conversation starter that explores a bit deeper than asking someone to talk a bit about themselves. Plus, it’s tactful enough not to be intrusive. Even the most successful business magnets or celebrities had to start from somewhere.

It’s a charming way to use small talk and get people to open up and build a rapport with you. Some of their past or current experiences may resonate. You needn’t have a person’s entire autobiography to appreciate what events have helped form them.

6. What’s the Best Thing About Being Here?

Being the new kid in town can be nerve-racking, whether it’s the first day at a new school or work. It’s especially true if you don’t know a soul and tend to be introverted. The good news is that everybody’s been in that situation at least once and can empathize.

Find someone with a pleasant smile, introduce yourself, and ask about their experiences as a newbie. What are some of the things they enjoy about the place? Not only will you have this conversation, but you’ll make a new friend.

Barbara Walters did an interview for National Public Radio about the first time she interviewed legendary Greek shipping tycoon Aristotle Onassis. Instead of discussing his current success, she asked Onassis about the first job he ever had as a young person. It was an intelligent conversational move that allowed the iconic billionaire to relax and speak candidly during the interview.

7. What’s the Most Daring Thing You’ve Ever Done?

Thrill-seekers often take risks so that they can have bragging rights. Not everyone has gone skydiving or completed a hike on the Appalachian Trail. However, most folks have at least one daring feat they like to share.

Often, you may be pleasantly shocked by the other person’s narratives. They may have some exciting experiences you’d never dreamed of just looking at them. You’ll never know the fascinating events in a person’s life until you ask.

8. Tell Me About Your Family (one of the best small talk starters if someone has children!)

Again, you don’t want to dig too deep into someone’s life that you barely know. Most people are happy to tell you all about their mate, children, and the things they enjoy as a family. Ask about their beloved pets if you want to endure yourself to someone.

In the past, people carried small photo albums of their kids and grandkids to show to any interested person. Now, with smartphones, people can share pictures and videos of their families for all to see. You’re sure to find a quick bond by sharing family photos.

9. What Do You like to Do When You’re Free?

If you want to get to know somebody, their hobbies and leisure activities are just as important as their careers. Wouldn’t you be surprised to learn that your new acquaintance is an accountant daily and a standup comedian on weekends? Some of the most unlikely people can have fascinating hobbies to share.

In fact, you may have some common interests. If not, maybe they have experience and skills in a hobby you’ve always wanted to pursue. Your friendship could blossom as you spend time doing things together.

10. Where Do You See Yourself in the Next Five Years?

Conversation starters about dreams and aspirations usually go well beyond small talk. People are often attracted to others who are interested in their dreams. The attraction is even stronger when you and they share similar goals.

Instead of the mundane small talk about the weather, go big and ask an acquaintance about their five-year plan. Of course, you don’t have to be specific on the number of years. You could always just ask about future ambitions or some recent goals they’ve achieved.

It tells a lot about a person who has the self-confidence and ambition to identify what they want in life. The person in your conversation may not share every detail, but the small talk can progress into a meaningful discussion. More than likely, they will start asking you about your plans.

The Art of Small Talk Starts With Being an Effective Listener

The conversation is like a game of volleyball where the ball is served back and forth on each side. If the volleyball only stays on one side of the net, there’s not going to be much of a game. Likewise, each participant in a conversation must be a listener and a speaker.

Some conversationalists are naturally skilled at active listening. However, it’s a skill that you can quickly improve with practice. You can passively hear someone speak, but you have to be active to listen to them.

Active listening involves a total focus on the speaker and what they’re saying. Make appropriate eye contact and try to maintain an open posture. Mirror the emotion in their voice and ask them for clarification, so there’ll be no misunderstandings.

Be present in their statements instead of figuring out how you’ll respond. Listen respectfully without interrupting. It’s always helpful if you wait a few seconds before saying anything.

Conversation Starters to Avoid When Making Small Talk

Even the most seasoned conversationalists occasionally stick their foot in their mouths. No matter how hard you try, it’s inevitable that you’ll say something innocent that someone takes the wrong way. Effective communication involves knowing what to say and what to avoid.

The conversation starters you choose depend on the setting and with whom you’re talking. Avoid controversial subjects unless you’re with like-minded people and have met for discussion. Remember, the acronym for taboo subjects is R.I.P: Religion, Intimacy, and Politics.

It’s too easy to offend when one of the big three is mentioned. You can quickly steer to another subject if someone raises the topic one-on-one or in a group. If the insensitive person persists in an inappropriate conversation, make your exit as soon as possible.

If you’re face-to-face with someone or in a group, your body language speaks before you open your mouth. Does it say you’re at ease and welcome a conversation, or are you too nervous? Don’t forget one of the golden rules of effective conversation is to smile.

Final Thoughts on the Best Small Talk Starters for Introverts

Some of the best orators and conversationalists in history struggled with being an introvert. When you’ve planned some appropriate conversation starters, people will assume you’ve always had the gift of gab. As with any skill, using small talk to build meaningful conversation takes aspiration and practice.

10 Reasons to Stop Teaching Boys to Repress Their Feelings

July 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

It was very commonplace in previous decades for men to repress their feelings. Guys who expressed their emotions were often seen as weak and vulnerable. Others often unfairly taunted them, so they bottled up their emotions.

Naturally, men learned that they were to repress and never cry or show any emotion. Fast forward a few decades, and society now recognizes that it’s healthy for men to show their emotional side. It makes them better sons, fathers, lovers, and all-around good people.

When you bottle emotions down deep inside, it’s like a ticking time bomb. This emotional bomb will explode when you least expect it. A study conducted at The University of Berkely found that men who show their feelings have emotional diversity.

When children learn to display both positive and negative emotions effectively, they have lower rates of depression and anxiety. Holding things inside is not suitable for anyone’s mental health.

Ten Benefits of Teaching Boys Not to Repress Feelings

The time to teach your boys not to bottle up their feelings is from the cradle. You want to ensure they know they’re free to express their emotions early on as it directly impacts their life.

While lower depression and anxiety rates are excellent, there are other benefits to teaching boys not to bottle up their feelings. Here are some other good things that can come when a young man learns emotional diversity.

1. They Have Better Relationships If They Don’t Repress Emotions

Relationships require people to be vulnerable and talk about things that bother them. When one person doesn’t discuss the issues, it’s like a festering wound that only worsens. However, if a boy learns how to deal with the problem and get everything out in the open, they learn to communicate effectively.

When they want a partner to spend their life with, they’ll desire someone open and honest. Their feelings are just as important as their partners, so they should be free to discuss things and not keep them bottled up inside.

2. Their Dreams Intensify

Imagine how horrible it would be to contemplate about your problems constantly. You didn’t feel free to cry, express your anger, or talk about the things that were bothering you. It’s hard to plan for the future, dream, and be present in the moment. When emotional diversity is allowed, it lifts the black cloud of sorrow that keeps a boy from seeing beyond the here and now.

3. Their Confidence and Courage Improve When They Don’t Repress Their Feelings

When the emotions are out of whack, boys lack confidence in themselves. For instance, if they had a bad relationship where someone cheated on them, it puts the fear of dating anyone else in their mind. However, when boys learn to talk about these situations and get things out in the open, they’re no longer repressed by the hurt of the past.

It doesn’t mean that the hurt automatically goes away, but they find comfort in talking about it. They may find someone who’s had a similar experience and values monogamy as much as they do, but they will never know unless they have the confidence and courage to open up.

4. They Have a Better Social Life When Feelings Are Not Bottled Up

People don’t feel like going out with a group and having fun when they’re an emotional wreck. Keeping feelings bottled up inside makes anyone miserable. An emotionally upset person will struggle to go to work, go on dates, or have social interaction.

However, when boys learn at a young age not to repress their feelings and to get things out and process them, they’re freed from the ties that bind. They’ll feel like going out and having fun when they’re not tied to the past and have regrets.

5. They Smile More

Your face tells a story for all the world to see. You can usually tell if you’re sad by looking at your expression. Very few people have a true “poker face” where they can fool the world.

Boys will smile more when they don’t repress the feelings that hurt them. It’s impossible to be miserable inside and happy outside, as the innermost feelings will always shine through.

6. They Have Better Communication

Have you ever dealt with a person you have to ask a hundred times what’s wrong, and they still give you nothing? This is a hallmark case of someone who is repressed. They know they’re feeling horrible, but they don’t know how or what to say to you.

Boys who learn to bottle up their feelings and hope they go away will have communication issues. The problem with “sweeping the dirt under the rug” is that there comes a day when the dirt pile is apparent. Communicating your concerns and getting things out in the open will free you.

Rather than adding more dirt to the pile, they learn to clean up the mess as it happens. Teach your boys that it’s okay to talk about their feelings and what’s bothering them, and it feels so much better than repressing them.

7. Boys Who Don’t Repress Emotions Have Better Health

Stress and carrying around excess baggage can have a direct impact on your heart. According to the National Library of Medicine, the effect on blood pressure is multiplied when the body is under stress. You can’t bottle up hurts and disappointments in life and not expect to be the picture of health.

You’ve often heard that stress kills, and your heart doesn’t need you putting any more stress or strain on it. You probably think this doesn’t apply to children, but according to the American Heart Association, kids are not immune.

Though it’s rare for a child to have heart problems due to stress, it does happen. However, arming them with the proper tools from infancy to handle their stress effectively will impact them throughout life.

8. They Become a More Positive Person

When you repress things, you dwell in negativity. Your mind is stuck in a loop of everything that hurt you or went wrong in your life. No one wants a black cloud of sorrow hanging over their head, so teach your kids to be optimistic.

Dealing with a problem as it occurs will allow your child to embrace positivity. They can’t be a happy person and carry tons of baggage. This doesn’t mean they will always resolve everything instantly, but at least they can work on a resolution.

9. Boys Who Don’t Bottle Up Their Emotions Don’t Play the Blame Game

Imagine your son has a cup inside of him that holds all his uncomfortable emotions. When he gets angry, sad, scared, or full of anxiety, the cup fills a bit with each emotion or feeling.

Eventually, his cup will be so complete that it spills everywhere, often called an emotional outburst. Once it starts spilling out, they’re unable to control it. Usually, it comes out in the form of blaming others.

It’s not practical to criticize others for mishandled situations, as your son repressed these feelings. However, breaking free from repression gives freedom and stops the blame game.

10. They’re Free to Forgive and Be Forgiven

It’s horrible to hold grudges. In many instances, folks get mad and refuse to speak for years, and they eventually don’t remember why they were angry in the first place. When boys learn from an early age that it’s acceptable to bottle up feelings, they won’t be apt to forgive others.

How can one expect someone to forgive when they’re not willing to forgive? Learning to deal with emotions at the time they occur allows people to be free to forgive and be forgiven.

Never Punish Your Child for Their Feelings

Why do parents expect things from their children that they don’t do themselves? Many adults want their kids to be “seen and not heard,” and they think they’re never going to have a bad day. You must be realistic and understand that your children will experience the same emotions as you.

There are days you’re cranky because you didn’t get enough sleep, and you say and do things you didn’t mean. Your children will also have these times and shouldn’t be punished for expressing their emotions. Instead, it would help if you talked with them about effective ways to handle these times. As a result, you will arm them with the knowledge of how to deal with their emotions positively.

By punishing a child for a temper tantrum, or another emotionally based issue, you’re saying loud and clear that expressing your feelings gets you in trouble. Correct the bad behavior, like kicking, hitting, coloring on the wall, or things of this nature, but never punish them for being human and showing emotion.

Final Thoughts on Why Boys Shouldn’t Repress Their Feelings

Parents have a great responsibility to raise well-rounded children. Things have shifted and altered in the past decades, making it socially acceptable for boys to show their emotions. Teaching your children not to bottle up their emotions but to deal with them at the moment will substantially impact their life.

The bottom line is your children, both male, and female should be free to express themselves and get things out in the open. It not only will make them better people, but it will free them from the emotional baggage they will carry throughout life.

10 Reasons Solitude is the Most Effective Mood Regulator

July 15, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

It’s been a challenging few years, and it’s times like these where you learn the value of finding solitude. Being alone with your thoughts is not always bad, but it can profoundly affect your mood and overall well-being when you don’t have this time alone.

There are many benefits to shutting the world away and recharging your batteries, clearing your mind, and making plans for the future. Sometimes, you need to turn off the noise and chaos around you so that you can think. Psychologists realize the value of time spent alone, and studies have been dedicated to this private time’s impact on you.

Study Shows Being Alone Can Spark Creativity

One particular study conducted by the University of Buffalo examined 295 individuals. While they noted that spending too much time alone can be mentally damaging, the study showed the benefits. The people who spent more time without the noise from the outside world had higher levels of creativity and a better mood than those who didn’t get much time alone.

Professor Julie Bowker concluded that not all alone time is detrimental, as it can be very beneficial to escape the rumble of the world around you. She further stated that many experts focus on the problems that a lack of socialization can bring, but many don’t see the benefits.

The importance of studies like this shows that it’s very healthy to spend some time alone with your thoughts, though it must be balanced with healthy social interaction. If you tend to be moody and irritable, you may need to shut yourself away for a while and regroup.

Reasons Why Alone Time Can Be a Healthy Practice

Before seeing the benefits of alone time, you must define what solitude means. It all comes down to whether you feel lonely or fulfilled. Your perspective is key to understanding sufficient time spent in silence for you and what’s too much.

If you feel lonely and disconnected from the world, it’s a sign you’re spending too much time alone. This can affect things like your attitude, drive, and self-esteem. However, if you don’t feel lonely, you know that your alone time is beneficial.

Here are some reasons why shutting out the outside world can be imperative for your mood and overall well-being.

1. Solitude Brings a Calming Type of Happiness

Most people are either an introvert or extrovert. Introverts don’t find social interaction as rewarding as others, as they crave their alone time. They find happiness in just being alone with their thoughts.

This personality type needs solitude because it rewards them and their mood. Social exposure stimulates many folks as it causes a surge of dopamine, known as the feel-good hormone.

However, introverted people are extra sensitive to the effects of dopamine, which can cause them to be overstimulated. Instead, they find that their brain reacts better to the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. The happiness that this chemical provides is more calming than stimulating.

According to the National Library of Medicine, acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter starting to gain attention. While talking about dopamine and serotonin is commonplace, other transmitters have many benefits and have been overlooked. For instance, those with higher levels of acetylcholine show lower rates of inflammation and excellent immunity.

2. Alone Time Boosts Your Energy

Have you ever noticed that your energy level is different from other folks? You may be a low-energy person that tires easily when doing stimulating activities. Going to the grocery store or a movie may require you to recharge for a while, as it depletes your resources and puts a damper on your mood.

Do you have a favorite chair or spot where you find that just a few minutes can boost your attitude and energy levels? It’s because you need to be alone to regroup and recharge, and there’s nothing wrong with being different than others.

3. You Can Do What You Want

Many people don’t like social scenes because they must compromise to keep everyone in the group happy. However, when you’re alone, you can do what you want, for however long you want, and you don’t have to answer to anyone. When you call the shots, something is refreshing, as being in charge feels fantastic.

4. Solitude Is Peaceful

Have you ever been to a concert? The noise was so loud it was deafening, but the minute you got outside, you felt free and like you could breathe again. The loud sounds can put your anxiety into overdrive, so you feel instant relief when you escape the noise.

Silence is very peaceful, and you can’t completely relax with so much going on around you. Your mood is elevated when you’re at peace, as turmoil isn’t going to do anything to help your spirits. Noise and confusion can make you cranky and irritable, and a few minutes in solitude brings everything back to a peaceful calm.

5. You Reach a Flow State During Alone Time

Some folks work great with a team and couldn’t imagine being required to work all alone. Conversely, others can’t imagine teamwork as it’s overstimulating for them. They can get great things done when they’re flying solo.

The flow state is the point where everyone wants to be. When work comes effortlessly, you’re in a good mood cause you’re getting things accomplished, and your creativity is soaring. Some people need groups to reach this realm, and others need to be alone.

6. You Deal With Less Drama

Some folks thrive on drama. They love the chaos and noise so much that if things are quiet, they will create a spectacle to add interest to their lives. However, this does nothing good for your mood or mental health.

Some folks love being alone because it is less drama and brings good energy. You don’t have time for turmoil or the people that cause it.

7. It Enhances Emotional Independence

Individuals who always need to be with other people depend on these folks for their emotional happiness. However, you know how to create happiness when you prefer to be alone.

Some folks would describe their emotions as a roller coaster, but for you, it tends to be more of a gentle up and down. You can work through those dark times and problems and enhance your mood without anyone else’s help. It’s just how you function best.

8. Solitude Stimulates Contentment

Being content in life takes a lot of work for some people. However, you’ve been blessed with the innate ability to be content in solitude. You don’t fear that you’re missing out just because you don’t keep a happening social calendar.

You would rather be alone and watch TV, read a book, or meditate in silence as it keeps your moods regular. Finding contentment isn’t easy, but alone time seems to be what does it for you. You could care less if you don’t get an invitation to the party of the year, as you probably wouldn’t go anyway.

9. There’s No Need to Conform to Social Etiquette During Alone Time

There’s a lot of pressure on you in a social situation, as you must act a sure way to be accepted. You don’t like wearing a mask and conforming, so you would rather be alone. You often feel anxious in social situations, as your palms sweat and your heart races.

When you’re alone, you don’t have to think about what others think of you or if you fit in. Solitude directly affects your attitude, as being in these socially awkward situations can make you panic.

10. Solitude Revitalizes Your Mind and Body

Alone time is essential to some folks as it revitalizes their entire system. Have you met people who are constantly on the go? They have one speed, overdrive, and you don’t see how they can function.

You don’t like to run on high octane, as you burn out your resources quickly. Your mood will tank when you’re so busy you don’t have time to stop and think. The correlations between those who crave alone time and introverts can’t go unnoticed, as you must recharge your batteries to feel good.

Final Thoughts on the Reasons Why Solitude Is Great for Your Moods

If you’ve noticed that you’re down and blue lately, could it affect your schedule? Are you not spending enough time alone, and it’s caused significant disruption to your quality of life? Your introverted nature may be begging for you to shut the chaos of the world away and be alone.

Undoubtedly, you will notice that it will enhance your happiness, calm you down, and give you a sense that everything is right in your world. Being alone isn’t nearly as bad as once thought, but you must balance it with social interaction.

10 Easy to Grow Houseplants Anyone Can Grow

July 15, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

If you want to fill your indoor space with plants, it’s easy to become overwhelmed about where to start. You don’t have to have a green thumb to connect with nature without leaving your home. There are many low-maintenance houseplants that anyone can grow with a little sunshine and water.

You can keep indoor plants alive in most conditions, as long as they get sunlight and the correct amount of water. If you’ve ever had a plant that quickly began wilting or yellowing, you likely had a challenging one. Don’t let that stop you from trying again, but ensure you choose a different plant this time.

The houseplants discussed below are perfect for beginners, and you can help them thrive while improving your skills. Finding the right plant for you might take trial and error, but you have many choices. Even if you forget to water it sometimes, it’ll continue thriving.

Some plants can continue to thrive after periods of neglect, making it easy for a beginner or someone without a green thumb. There’s a plant for everyone, and they are more durable than you think.

What You Need in Low-Maintenance Houseplants

Don’t buy the first plant that catches your eye because not all plants are easy to care for. You don’t want to stress yourself over not being able to help the plant thrive. Determining your needs can help you pick the best plant for your home.

If you want a low-maintenance plant, you must avoid anything with super-delicate leaves. Additionally, you’ll want to avoid anything sensitive to soil with salt and mineral buildup. Choose something with flexible care needs that can thrive in any differing conditions.

The best houseplants you can choose as a beginner include those that can:

Survive in any potting soil
Grow in different lighting conditions
Stay resilient when water amounts waver

The Benefits of Houseplants

It’s essential to understand the benefits of houseplants if you want to help them thrive. Having plants in your home does more than improving the aesthetic and allows you to connect with nature. Some of the benefits to having indoor plants are that they:

Help you relax
Freshen up your space
Create a calming environment
Reduce your stress levels
Improve your concentration
Promote a healthy immune system
Reduce symptoms of mental health conditions
Boost your productivity
Improve indoor air quality

Ten Houseplants Anyone Can Grow

When you’re ready to grow a houseplant or two, these are perfect for beginners. Don’t worry if you’ve killed a houseplant before because these options are resilient, and anyone can grow them.

1. ZZ Plant

The ZZ plant is scientifically called Zamioculcas zamiifolia. It is a tropical plant that is also one of the easiest to care for. It doesn’t need much water as you can go weeks without watering it.

This plant is also okay without much sunlight, although it will need some. It’s important to note that it is toxic to cats and dogs, so you might want to consider a different plant if you have pets.

2. Monstera

This plant can adapt to most light conditions, so you don’t have to worry too much about placement. It’s also drought-tolerant, so it’s okay if you forget to water it sometimes. This tropical plant is low maintenance, and anyone can grow it.

If the leaves of your monstera become crispy, it means it’s either getting too much sun or not enough water. Yellowing leaves indicate overwatering. If either of these happens to your plant, it’ll bounce back quickly once you adjust how you care for it.

3. Chinese Evergreen

This plant is also called Aglaonema and is a striking low-maintenance plant. It is resilient to low light and will be okay if you forget to water it or overwater it.

The colors range from hot pink to light green, allowing a pop of color in your home. You can even find white and red on some of them. A Chinese evergreen plant is toxic to cats and dogs, so be mindful if you have pets.

4. Philodendron Heartleaf

The philodendron heartleaf is an adaptable plant that prefers indirect sunlight. You’ll want to be careful of placing it in a location with bright sunlight because it can cause it to wilt. It likes lots of water, but it’ll be okay if you forget occasionally. You’ll also want to watch out for overwatering because it can cause the leaves to turn yellow.

5. Snake Plant

A snake plant is easy for anyone to grow, so it’s perfect for beginners or those without a green thumb. It’s a type of succulent and thrives in dry conditions, so you won’t have to worry about a watering schedule. As long as they get enough light and you water them sometimes, you can enjoy them in your home for years.

The leaves are stiff, sharp, and spikey, so be careful when touching them. They’re also toxic to cats and dogs, so you might want another option if your pet tends to get into your plants.

6. Aloe

Aloe is one of the easiest plants to care for and are usually inexpensive, too. This plant is toxic to pets, so remember it before purchasing. Aloe prefers a bright, sunny spot in your home but will do okay on a desk or bedside table that gets indirect sunlight.

You only have to water it once every two to three weeks, depending on how dry the soil feels. This plant is beneficial to keep in your home because it has medicinal properties. Breaking a leaf off allows you to access the gel that helps soothe sunburns, lighten dark spots, and moisturize the skin.

7. Sansevieria

A sansevieria plant thrives in many environments. It can survive in low light or in areas of bright and full sunshine. This plant also doesn’t need much water and isn’t sensitive to changes in temperature.

Sansevieria has air-purifying properties, making it popular amongst those who want fresh air in their home. If the leaves become yellow, droopy, or smell funny, you’re overwatering it.

8. Cactus

Cactus is a prickly succulent that prefers dry landscapes, so they’re perfect if you often forget to water your plants. They grow slowly and don’t require fertilizer or special soil. Cactus will thrive if you place them in a bright and sunny location in your home. Since they are prickly, they can be dangerous to children and pets.

9. Paddle Plant

This bold succulent has big, round leaves and pink tips. They prefer bright light, so it’s best if you sit them in a sunny location like on a windowsill. It’s okay if their soil gets dry, so it’ll survive if you forget to water it sometimes.

10. Peperomia

With over 1,000 species of peperomia, it’s easy to find one that you enjoy looking at. Each species has a uniquely shaped leaf and color, and they are resilient if you forget to water them.

The most common peperomia is a rubber plant, which can tolerate different amounts of light. They prefer a slightly shady spot but will do okay in a bright area.

The lemon-lime variety of peperomia has a striking yellow and green leaf pattern. This plant holds water in its stems and leaves, making them resilient if you forget to water them.

Ensure the soil is dry before watering it again every week or two. Overwatering is easy, so don’t do it too often. If you accidentally do too much, the plants will bounce back when the water dries up a little.

Things to Keep in Mind When Growing Houseplants

When choosing your plant container, you’ll want to consider the size. A large container or pot is sometimes more manageable because it holds more soil, stays moist, and resists temperature fluctuations.

You must consider the plant’s roots system, too. If your plant becomes rootbound, meaning the roots take up every inch of available soil, it won’t thrive. The plant won’t grow well, and it’ll dry out quickly.

Ensuring the correct side pot or container can make a difference in how well your plant survives. You must also provide your container has drainage holes, or your plant will become waterlogged. If your container doesn’t have holes, it’s best to use it as a cover for the original pot instead.

Once you’ve chosen your container and added the soil, you’ll want to water the plant thoroughly. The watering frequency depends on the temperature, amount of sun, plant size, and pot size. Water it enough that the soil never completely dries out, or it could be hard to re-wet.

You can add a layer of mulch on top of the soil. It’ll help it look more attractive and retain moisture for longer. Keep the mulch at least an inch away from the plant’s stems.

Final Thoughts on Easy to Grow Houseplants Anyone Can Grow

You might think growing houseplants is hard, but anyone can do it. All that it takes is finding the right houseplant for you. It’ll be resilient and can withstand care fluctuations. These plants will get you started on your houseplant journey. Once you get comfortable caring for the easy plants, you can move on to something more challenging.

8 Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Most People Ignore

July 15, 2022 by Chris Butler

As the days get shorter and winter approaches, some people experience sadness and depression. Their mood changes triggered in late fall or early winter may get better as the seasons change into spring and summer. This disorder is seasonal affective disorder or SAD. Here are some SAD signs most people overlook.

How many people suffer from SAD?

Approximately .5% to 3% of people in the United States suffer from SAD. People who struggle with depression are at a higher risk. Of these people, 10% to 20% who have a depressive disorder also have SAD. It’s more common in young adults between eighteen to thirty, and women are more prone to it than men. Around 10% to 20% of Americans experience a milder type of SAD called the “winter blues.”

What causes seasonal affective disorder?

It’s unknown precisely what causes seasonal affective disorder, but here are some theories.

The biological clock gets moved: When it shifts, it can disrupt your mood, hormones, and ability to sleep. You have difficulty adjusting to the changes when there are fewer daylight hours.
Brain chemical imbalances: A chemical imbalance in your brain could cause you to experience SAD. Sunlight helps regulate serotonin, a hormone that improves your mood. When there’s a lack of sunshine, your serotonin levels drop, leading to depression and sadness.
Lack of vitamin D: Vitamin D influences your serotonin levels. Sunlight is a major producer of vitamin D in your body. When there’s less sunlight in the winter, you may develop a vitamin D deficiency. This affects your serotonin levels and your mood.
Too much melatonin: Melatonin is best known as a sleep aid. But with less sunlight, your body can make too much of this hormone. This affects your sleep and mood. If you’re sleepy during winter, your body may have too much melatonin.
Depressing thoughts: Your thoughts have power. What you think affects how you feel. Being stressed, anxious, and struggling with negative thoughts about longer days and cold weather can lead to seasonal affective disorder.

How does a doctor diagnose seasonal affective disorder?

Discuss this with your doctor if you think you’re suffering from SAD. They will ask questions from a questionnaire to determine if your symptoms fit the criteria for SAD. Here are the four criteria they may talk to you about.
1. You must display major depressive symptoms, such as the following signs:
- - Suicidal thoughts
  - Lack of concentration
  - Low energy
  - Trouble sleeping
  - Weight loss or gain
  - Appetite changes
  - Loss of interest in doing regular life
  - Feeling depressed every day
1. You must have depression occurring during specific seasons. This isn’t just in the winter. Besides summertime, some people feel SAD the summer. This depression must occur for at least two consecutive years.
2. You must have frequent feelings of depression at other times of the year.
3. You may not fit these criteria exactly, but you still have SAD. Don’t suffer alone or for an extended time. There is a treatment to help you feel better during the winter.

Here are eight signs of seasonal affective disorder that most people ignore

Do you or someone you know see these signs?

1 – Dealing with depression most of your day

Most of the day, you may feel sad and depressed. You’ll notice these feelings occurring more as winter approaches. You may feel better on sunny days during the winter but dread the next day if you know it will be cloudy and cold.

2 – Seasonal affective disorder causes loss of interest in activities

Things you usually enjoy suddenly don’t feel that exciting. You may talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too cold or dark outside. Your friends may try to persuade you to join them in activities. If you continually say no, they’ll eventually give up inviting you, which only adds to your feelings of sadness.

3 – Sleep problems often arise from seasonal affective disorder

You may have trouble sleeping or sleep too much. This sleeplessness could stem from a lack of vitamin D or too much melatonin. Your insomnia adds to your tiredness. A lack of energy makes it hard to get out of the house.

4 – SAD contributes to negativity

You may think about your worthlessness, boredom, or feeling that life isn’t worth living. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please get help right away.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifetime code is 988 in the United States. You can text, call or chat 988 to connect with a trained counselor. These counselors are available to talk 24/7. So, if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, don’t suffer alone. Get help immediately.

5 – Difficulty concentrating

Depression can make you feel hopeless and that nothing in your life will change. You may find concentrating hard as you think nothing in life is essential. You may have trouble at work or school because you can’t focus. As spring arrives, you feel a renewed sense of purpose and interest. This is a good sign that you have a SAD. You may have a mild case of it, but don’t ignore this sign.

6 – Want to stay inside all winter

If you have a SAD, you may feel tired all winter. You might sleep a lot and lack the energy to leave the house. This leads to more fatigue. Some people can’t sleep in the winter because of disturbances in their biological clock.

7 – SAD may cause carb cravings

A sign of SAD many people ignore is craving carbs in the winter. As the weather turns cold, individuals who suffer from seasonal affective disorder crave carbs. Eating carbs can boost your happiness. This burst of energy is because carbohydrates produce serotonin, the hormone that improves moods like an antidepressant.

8 – Seasonal affective disorder might lead to weight gain

During the winter months, you have natural hormonal changes that occur. If you have SAD, this can lead to weight gain. Plus, the holidays are during the winter. So you’re apt to gain weight eating all the goodies surrounding the holiday celebrations. Plus, during the colder months, you’re less likely to be outdoors doing physical activities. All these things add up to weight gain.

How does a doctor treat seasonal affective disorder?

Treatment for SAD is available. These treatments may work separately or together with another treatment.

1 – Light therapy to decrease the depression

Light therapy is an effective treatment for SAD. It exposes you to bright light so your body can make more vitamin D and serotonin. You can purchase these lights online. They need to be at least 10,000 lux. For the best results, the patient basks in this light for at least 35 to 40 minutes daily.

2 – Psychotherapy

Certain types of psychotherapy are effective in helping bring relief to those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Talking therapy helps people learn how to cope with this disorder. You may meet with a group or with one person. The idea is to focus on the positive things in life instead of negativity. Light therapy and psychotherapy work well together.

3 – Vitamin D and depression

If you suffer from SAD, it could be because of a lack of vitamin D. Try daily vitamin D supplements. Researchers have mixed views on whether vitamin D supplements are effective in getting rid of SAD. Light therapy was most effective, but combining the two could be your best course of action.

4 – Exercise

As well as eating a healthy diet, it’s important to get physical exercise every day. Please keep it simple. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. The best place to get physical exercise is outdoors. It also coordinates your body’s natural clock, helping you sleep better at night. Exercise stimulates your brain to be more awake during the day and helps you wind down at night.

Resist the urge to pull the covers over your head. This only adds to your feelings of sadness and depression. Get outdoors as soon as possible. It may be hard at first, but if you do it daily, you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel. You don’t need to do high-impact exercises. Try these outdoor exercises.

Walking
Biking
Jump rope
Hiking

Final thoughts on understanding seasonal affective disorder

You may have noticed as winter sets in, you struggle with sadness and depression more than usual. Many people experience the “winter blues.” If your reaction to winter, longer days, and cold goes beyond feeling down, you may have seasonal affective disorder or SAD. This disorder occurs mainly in the winter, but some people also struggle with it in the summer. It’s characterized by signs similar to depression. There are several natural ways to treat SAD, but if your struggles are getting more challenging or you feel severe depression, be sure to seek help. You don’t need to suffer alone. Don’t give up hope. There are treatments for SAD that are very effective. You can get your happy disposition again and enjoy life.

5 Ways the Loss of a Parent Impacts Young Children, According to Psychology

July 15, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

The loss of a parent in childhood can cause deep emotional and psychological wounds. Even as an adult, grieving a parent’s death isn’t easy. So, you can only imagine how scared and confused a child would feel.

Sadly, around 5% of children lose their parents before reaching adulthood. The death of a parent in childhood can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. It also may cause the child to lack an identity since they didn’t have stable parental involvement. Adults who lost parents at a young age recall feeling vulnerable and abandoned.

Dealing with such a life-altering event in childhood may also lead to substance abuse or eating disorders. Others may struggle with personal relationships or struggle in work environments.

Even though losing a parent changes a child’s life forever, it doesn’t mean they can’t adapt. After grieving and processing their feelings, children can lead an everyday, healthy adult life. However, losing a parent undoubtedly impacts young children in profound ways.

5 Ways the Loss of a Parent Impacts Young Children

A 2022 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health analyzed the impact of parental death before adulthood. Researchers hoped to gain valuable insight into how people processed and overcame grief associated with losing a parent. To do this, they conducted in-depth interviews with 14 adults – six men and eight women.

All of them had experienced the loss of a parent at least five years before being interviewed. The average age of the participants when their parents died was sixteen.

Some of the sample questions included the following:

“How did losing your [Mom/Dad] affect you?”
“What support did you receive after the loss of your [Mom/Dad]?”
“How did you come about receiving that support?”

These individual recollections about dealing with parental loss revealed several commonalities. Even though each person had their own story, they all dealt similar emotions and challenges. Below, we’ll review a few of the impacts of losing a parent in childhood.

1. The Loss of a Parent Causes Social Withdrawal.

Many participants said their friends didn’t always provide adequate support after losing a parent. However, children often don’t have experience with death and may not know what to say. For instance, some participants recalled their friends saying they would “feel better in a couple of days.”

If children don’t have a solid support system, it may cause them to withdraw from friends and family. Even if they have people to comfort them, they might still need time to themselves. Losing a parent shocks most children, who often self-isolate due to grief.

Participants remember distancing themselves from friends or suppressing their emotions to deal with parental loss. Some focused more on their studies or travel plans to distract themselves. However, not allowing time for grieving can cause even more psychological pain later.

2. Grieving a Parent Creates a Storm of Painful Emotions.

The parent loss elicits strong emotions ranging from anger to grief to denial. Some children may even feel guilty for their parent’s death, believing they somehow caused it. It can create a heavy burden, especially if the child felt angry or resentful of the parent when they passed.

However, after going through the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – most participants eventually found peace. Even still, the pain doesn’t completely go away, as healing from the loss of a parent is a lifelong process. For example, graduations, birthdays, marriages, and other significant events may cause grief to reemerge.

3. Losing a Parent Makes Self-Care Difficult.

Many of the participants said that their physical health declined after going through the loss of a parent. Erratic or unhealthy eating habits, difficulty handling basic needs like bathing, and even panic attacks were expected. Some turned to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of losing their parents.

4. The Grieving Process Can Make Survivors More Resilient.

However, after survivors dealt with and accepted the loss, they felt more resilient when handling challenges. Most participants lost a parent an average of 12 years prior, which gave them time to heal. They recalled being able to deal with situations that others often found unbearable.

In addition, participants felt more grateful for life and had greater awareness of its fleeting nature. Therefore, they lived more fully and authentically, not allowing petty problems to overwhelm them. Some felt closer to their extended families, as loss makes the heart grow fonder.

5. Grieving The Loss of a Parent Changes Everything.

Even if the participants had a stable support system, losing a parent affected their life substantially. Many reported feeling like they grew up too fast or felt responsible for their siblings from a young age. Since they had more obligations than the average child, they often had to suppress their own needs. This caused some to feel stifled or like they had missed out on their childhood.

However, participants also said that losing a parent helped guide their life choices. For instance, they imagine their parents being with them during significant events. Keeping them in mind throughout life allowed them to feel close to their parent, even though they had passed.

Final Thoughts on How Losing a Parent Impacts Children

Losing a parent at any age causes deep feelings of grief and devastation. The person you looked to for support and guidance suddenly isn’t there anymore. As a child, this realization can cause lasting psychological and emotional wounds well into adulthood. However, a study found that children who lost parents at a young age felt more resilient than their peers.

They had to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities, but these problematic experiences strengthened them. Losing a parent also helped them cherish their other family members more.

Finally, the experience allowed them to feel closer to their parent in new ways. They imagined their parent when making important life decisions, which comforted them throughout life.

So, losing a parent undeniably changes one’s life, but it also provides an opportunity for self-growth. Taking enough time to heal and reminiscing fond memories with the parent can help deal with the loss.

4 Habits to Help Someone Unlock Their Full Potential

July 14, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Alone, people can’t always find ways to reach their full potential. After all, we all need someone to guide us and point out our flaws and strong suits. That’s one of the reasons why this society has always valued mentors. Because they are people who have learned things the hard way and can make sure others don’t hit the same obstacles while working towards our goals. It’s also important to have someone who can point you toward the right path in life.

People aren’t born with a sense of responsibility and a rock-solid moral code. They must learn right and wrong. And, most importantly, they need a safe space in which they can explore and figure out what their interests are. Everyone needs to play their part and help others reach their full potential. It’s a matter of duty, but it’s also the morally right thing to do. You should always look out for your friends and family and help them improve themselves.

But then the question is, who is going to help you out? Who is going to mentor and nurture you? If you are lucky, you’ll have someone willing to lend you a hand. But there’s a high probability that no one will. In that case, you need to learn to look out for yourself. You need to develop some habits to become the best version of yourself.

How to Know When Someone Has Reached Their Full Potential

If we were to speak philosophically, there is no way for someone to reach their full potential. But that’s just in abstract terms. Technically, there is always some way to improve yourself personally and professionally. But, in pragmatic terms, reaching your full potential means being fulfilled and being on the path to progress. Someone reaches their full potential when they have healthy interpersonal relationships, good family life, and a job and hobbies that they love.

Of course, this is not an exact definition of the concept. For everyone, reaching their full potential will look different. The main thing that defines the best version of someone is their personal values and goals. If someone values having a family over having a stellar career, they will be fulfilled when they get the family they want. Even if they aren’t a CEO of a company, that will not make their life any less happy. If someone values having a career, not having kids might not be an issue as long as they excel in their line of work.

Some people value a traditional life, others want to explore and live for the moment. Some people are fully content with traveling and working wherever they can to sustain their passion. Your principles and moral code as just as important in shaping how you want your future to look. If you value selflessness, you’ll probably find happiness in helping people out. Whether that’s through an NGO or some other method, that’s up to you.

No matter how you’ve imagined your perfect future, there are ways to ensure that you get yourself on the right path. Or, if you want to help someone else get on that path, you can learn to do that too. You might even find that mentoring someone will help you better understand what your desires are. Success takes on many forms, but the fact is that you can’t make it happen if you are not committed to it.

It’s not enough to do the bare minimum at work and expect to be promoted. It’s not enough to tell your partner that you are sorry after you mess up. You need to prove that you take accountability for your actions. Basically, being the best version of yourself is not just a full-time job. Indeed, this is a lifestyle. And you need to create habits that make it so that you are always improving.

4 Habits to Help Someone Unlock Their Full Potential

These four behaviors can help everyone, achieve success and smash their goals.

1. Keep Learning Every Day

People seem to think that they only need to have the knowledge to navigate through life. As long as you can do your job and handle some personal relationships, they’re fine. But that’s exactly how people become complacent and settling for what’s “good enough.” If you want to surpass that point, you need to learn that you can never stop learning.

The biggest advancements in human history were made by people who asked questions that had no answer. And, instead of taking the easy way out and dropping the question, they found the answers. That’s because they were fascinated by things and wanted to learn all about them. And that’s exactly what you need to do if you want to excel. And that doesn’t mean you have to stick your nose in all the physics books you find.

If something doesn’t interest you, don’t learn about it. But find at least one thing that interests you and make an effort in that field. After a while, you’ll make a habit out of learning. Once you do that, you’ll find that you’ll want to learn things even about fields you wouldn’t have thought you’d be interested in. And learning is something you can do in all areas of your life. You can learn things about people to have better relationships.

Or you can learn things about your favorite hobbies to improve. You can learn about anything you want, and everything you’ll learn will bring you closer to unlocking your full potential.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset

Over three decades ago, Dr. Carol Dweck started to research what leads to student failure and how that can be fixed. After interviewing students and collecting data, she realized that mindset plays an important role. To be exact, how flexible your mindset is can determine how well you perform. A fixed mindset means that you believe intelligence and your ability to learn are unchangeable traits.

That you can only be as smart as your genetics made you out to be. But a growth mindset means that you believe those traits can improve through practice. This means that you can get smarter and can increase your capability to learn if you work for it. Dweck’s studies show that if you believe that you are good enough to do something, you are more likely to succeed. For example, if a student believes they are good enough to pass an exam, they will be more likely to do so.

By believing in yourself you become more committed and motivated. It’s a positive mindset that makes you find the strength to work and become better, even if the odds seem to be stacked against you.

3. Work on Your Time Management by Setting Goals

People often struggle with being responsible. But that’s not because they don’t want to be. Morally, most people value responsibility. What’s tricky about it is putting it into practice. And one of the most important elements that can help you become responsible is working on time management.

The day is long enough to allow you to do work towards all your goals. But people don’t know how to be efficient and make the most out of a day. One of the most important things you can start doing is keeping lists and having a calendar. No one can remember everything they wanted to do in a day, and having a visual aid always helps. It’s also an easy thing to do and develop into a habit.

When you write out your tasks for the day, two things can happen. First of all, you will be forced to think about what your goals are and how to go about achieving them. Second, you will have to learn to prioritize. Having everything written down will make you realize if you have too many or not enough things scheduled.

Sometimes, it’s not that people do too much; it’s that they waste a lot of time. Taking breaks and doing things you like is perfectly fine. In fact, you need to make time to do what you like. But it still helps to schedule them, otherwise, you’ll end up doing nothing for hours on end. If you want to reach your full potential, you’ll have to learn that every second matters.

4. Learn to Accept Failure

Somehow, society seems to believe that failure is a sign of weakness, or that it shows you won’t amount to anything. But all successful people will tell you that failure is not only a normal part of life but also a necessary evil. You can learn more from failing than you’d ever learn by being seemingly perfect.

The problem with failure is that people usually give up when it eventually happens to them. They lose motivation and start believing that they are not fit to do whatever they failed at. This mentality infiltrates the mind from a very young age when grades become a thing. As a result, kids learn that a bad grade means they are dumb or irresponsible. And this mentality usually stays with someone throughout their life.

But, when you start learning how to make the best out of a bad situation, that’s when you’ll reach your full potential. Instead of giving up, know how to do better next time. Work towards fixing your mistakes and improving upon your ideas. Even failure wins you experience, and that’s something invaluable. No matter the outcome, experience is something that will help you become better and achieve your life’s goals.

Final Thoughts on Habits to Help Someone Unlock Their Full Potential and Reach Their Goals

Reaching your full potential is the best way to ensure you live a fulfilling life. But, to do that, you need to develop healthy habits that help you grow daily. Even if no one helps you along the way, you can learn to help yourself. And you can even teach other people what you’ve learned through trial and error. After all, that’s how society becomes a better place.

No matter what your goals are, the same steps to planning for success still apply. And one of the most important steps is to keep learning no matter where you are. But don’t just learn new information from books. Practice what you know and learn from your failures. Believe in yourself and develop a growth mindset. But if you need a quick tip, start working on your time management. Having a schedule can make a huge difference in your life.

3 Red Flags of Someone With Psychological Scars

July 14, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Dealing with psychological scars is not something that anyone should take lightly. You should always try to do your best to help hurt people who struggle to get back on the right path. But that doesn’t mean you should accept all of their toxic behaviors. No matter how much you might care about someone, you should never let a narcissist or other toxic person affect you.

Usually, people who have psychological scars don’t grow up to be the nicest. That doesn’t mean they are inherently evil. Deep inside, they might even be the nicest people alive. But their past is not the brightest, and that probably means they are not the warmest people you’ll meet. It’s not exactly their fault if they grow up to be introverted and cold.

Still, having been hurt should never be seen as a reason to let them off the hook for anything. Many scarred people are narcissists and egotistical. Many of them don’t know how to have healthy interpersonal relationships. And, if you look close enough, you’ll see that many red flags can show you who they really are. If you pay attention to the subtle things, you’ll see that their scars are deeper than they might seem.

What Are Psychological Scars?

Everyone has some sort of psychological scars or at least bruises. For some, they have healed. For others, they haven’t. But those people must deal with their issues and their past. On the other hand, some people struggle to heal, and sometimes never do. Of course, no one can blame people for not being able to heal from trauma. The issue is when people use that trauma to legitimize their inappropriate behaviors.

Still, psychological scars are very real and they can affect a person’s entire life and well-being. After going to a frightening or otherwise distressing event, some people might struggle to cope with day-to-day life. These scars result from traumatic events. Trauma can take many forms. However, it often traces back to events that happened in a person’s childhood.

When things happen to people during their first years of life, the effects tend to stick with them forever. That’s because kids’ brains are developing and are still being shaped, so everything that affects them will stick. That doesn’t mean that adults can’t be affected by traumatic events. Still, for most people, scars come from earlier in life.

It’s important to understand that a traumatic event is not someone being scared because they saw an insect in their room. Not all events that frighten people are bad enough to qualify as traumatic, nor do they leave scars. Traumatic events often come from abuse, be it physical, emotional, or psychological. Or they can be life-or-death situations, accidents such as car crashes, natural disasters, or acts of violence such as armed robbery.

Sometimes, even being a witness to violence is enough to leave a mark forever. If you’ve been raised in a home where the parents always hit each other, you’re likely to be struggling with some issues. Sometimes, people struggle with the effects of events that other people overlook. For example, being traumatized because of your parents’ divorce is not something that people think can happen. Most people would just think that the kid is going to be sad for a bit and then heal.

For instance, a parental divorce can leave a mark forever. Some other overlooked causes of trauma are deaths of a loved one, injuries, or diagnosis of a serious medical condition. These events can affect even whole families, but some fail to address and resolve these traumatic childhood events. People have started taking psychology seriously in the past couple of decades, but the field still doesn’t get the respect it deserves. Many older people still have a skewed view of therapy, because of how they’ve been raised.

In the past, society stigmatized people who sought therapy. Unfortunately, some people still perpetuate that myth, making people feel ashamed about their need for help. Because of that, many people don’t ever resolve their trauma. They just bury it deep inside and try to live with their psychological scars. But that doesn’t ever allow them to heal and be the best version of themselves.

So, many people break under the weight of these issues, and they allow traumatic events to change them for the worse. They end up developing egotistical and mean behaviors and, chances are, they’ll hurt many of their friends. No matter how much you’d want to help someone like that, it’s not always in your best interest to stick by them.

3 Red Flags of Someone with Psychological Scars

Watch for these typical behaviors of someone who struggles with trauma.

1. They Display the Traits of a Narcissist

Anyone who ever had to deal with a scarred person will tell you from experience that these people show narcissistic tendencies. Once someone goes through a traumatic event, their brain will automatically default to more egotistical behaviors in an attempt to shelter them. When people are hurt, their brain needs to find ways to get over the pain and get their life together. This overly protective behavior can quickly spin out of control.

The need to feel isolated and safe makes people start to lose touch with reality and society. A narcissist can slowly start losing the ability to empathize and properly communicate. Mind you, all these behaviors can be indicative that you are dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, which is something entirely different. That’s a medical disorder, whereas these narcissistic behaviors are a direct effect of past trauma.

These two things aren’t the same and people often conflate them. The main difference is that psychologically scarred people don’t usually act with malicious intent. Still, that doesn’t mean their behavior is something you should have to put up with. A narcissist can affect you because these people won’t think about how their actions hurt you. If they want to get something, they will take it without a second thought.

If they want to pick a fight with you, they will do it without any remorse. These tendencies often come as a way to counteract the feeling of powerlessness that scarred people feel. There is no way to help these people if they don’t want to help themselves. They will take all your advice as an insult and strike back if they feel threatened.

So, it would be advisable not to make sacrifices for them as you won’t be able to help them. Any kind of egotistical behavior, like lashing out or throwing tantrums for seemingly no reason, is a red flag. Don’t use their trauma as an excuse for their behavior. While childhood and past trauma cause narcissism, they’re not an excuse. And you should never get yourself hurt to help someone heal their psychological scars.

2. They Don’t Trust People

This probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but people on the receiving end of hurt and trauma don’t find it easy to trust. If you’ve been abused, what proof do you have that there are people out there who have your best interest at heart? You’ve lived your whole life being lied to and emotionally or physically hurt. At some point, you’ll start believing that every person would be willing to treat you like that.

While not being trusting towards others doesn’t make someone a narcissist, it’s not exactly a great trait. And this is a sign that you are dealing with someone who is struggling with serious issues. It’s your choice whether you want to heal them. But you should know that it can be toxic to interact with someone who doesn’t trust you. When someone has trouble trusting people, that will affect every interpersonal relationship they will have.

They won’t tell people when something is bothering them. They won’t ask for help or talk about their personal life. And, most importantly, they’ll always expect the worst. They’ll probably believe everyone will lie or betray them. These people are not going to bring a new positive to your life.

If you get emotionally involved with a narcissist or emotionally insecure person, they will often hurt you. The more you’ll want to help them, the more you’ll feel like you’re hitting a brick wall. If you want to help these people heal, you’ll need to be as detached as possible. You’ll need to advise them to seek professional help without allowing emotions to cloud your judgment.

3. They Struggle with Substance Abuse

Probably the biggest red flag that tells you someone can’t deal with psychological trauma is that they are struggling with substance abuse. That doesn’t mean you’ll see them walking around with a bottle, but there are always signs of this kind of behavior. Of course, substance abuse doesn’t automatically mean that someone is dealing with some dark stuff.

Some people become addicted because they like the thrill of using. Others become addicted because of their socio-economic environment. Still, substance abuse and trauma connect very tightly. For instance, around 60% of American young people with PTSD develop a substance abuse issue. And there are many more statistics that point to there being a strong connection between trauma and addiction.

If a person always seems tired or avoids people at all costs, those can indicate an addiction issue. Even if they never show up drunk to work and even if they seem functional, it doesn’t mean they are. Addicts are often angry, irritable, and depressed. They display dramatic personality changes. Even if you don’t pick up on those signs, the physical changes will be clear enough.

Bloodshot eyes, dramatic weight loss, and a generally unkempt appearance are amongst the most common signs. Again, trying to be friends with such a person will only hurt you. It doesn’t mean you can’t try helping them. You just shouldn’t try to be friends with them until they get their life together.

Final Thoughts on Red Flags of Someone with Psychological Scars

What’s important to understand is that a narcissist might want help. But sometimes, your good intentions won’t help you help them. You should try to keep your distance while still offering them support when they need it. But you don’t need to sacrifice your well-being in the process.

If someone exhibits narcissistic tendencies, has trouble trusting, or has a substance abuse issue, you must tread carefully. A toxic person or narcissist will exhibit these behaviors because they have psychological scars, but that doesn’t mean their actions are justified. These behaviors will hurt you and push you away. If you truly want to help them, advise them to seek professional help.

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