Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

5 Times You Need to Stand Up For Yourself

We’ve all taken a seat on the people-pleasing train a time or two. We do things for people we don’t want to do, we accept an opinion we don’t believe, and we allow others to treat us unfairly so that we can keep the waters calm. All this does is sacrifice our happiness to make someone else happy.

While on the surface, it may seem smart and even admirable to constantly be doing things for others, there is a time when we must stand up for our needs first. It’s important to our happiness to be compassionate and giving to others, but there’s a fine line between serving others and living a life of servitude.

Our happiness is important. In fact, it is important enough to warrant a little selfishness on our part. Not the kind that is malicious in intent but makes us stronger and more secure in who we are. Standing up for ourselves when it’s easier to give in helps us to live in our authentic truth.

Our happiness, and ultimately our lives, are defined by the choices we make. When we allow other people to tell us how to feel, they are making those choices for us, and we are giving away our truth. Life is too short to live a life others want us to live. Giving in is a sign we’ve stopped caring about who we are and capable of being.

It’s time to stop caring about how other people will respond and stand up for ourselves when needed.

Here are five times we always need to stand up for ourselves:

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1 – We must stand up when we passionately believe in something.

It’s hard to sit and listen to someone talk about something that goes against what you believe. Yet, we do it all the time because we don’t want to cause a scene, or we don’t think disagreeing will change anyone’s mind. Often, remaining silent gives the impression that we agree with the sentiment. As a result, we are not honoring our truth.

We should tell people why we stand up for those ideals when we passionately believe in something. We may not change anyone’s mind, but we may change the conversation. This can be difficult, so practice the argument and consider the objections beforehand. The more we start letting people know what we believe, the easier it becomes.

2 – When we have a clear goal.

It is so easy to take on a project or do a favor for a friend that is in direct conflict with a goal we’re working towards. Our first instinct is to help others; while noble, it can detract us from the things that matter in our lives. Always keep sight of the things that matter and support a happy life. Sometimes it is necessary to say “no” to stay on track for our big goals and stand up for what we believe in.

3 – Stand up to intimidation or bullying

Bullying doesn’t just happen on the playground; it happens everywhere. Whenever someone becomes adamant that we should do something or think a certain way; we are being bullied. Like most bullying, the real damage is to our emotional well-being. We must learn to stand up for ourselves and others by calling out the behavior and not allowing the loudest or most persistent person to control the outcome of any situation.

4 – We should stand up when we must protect our time.

Time is one of our most valuable assets and a finite resource you cannot take back after giving it. We need time to do the things that are important to us, the things we are called to do. We need time for the people that matter most to us, to take action towards achieving our big goals, and to practice gratitude and appreciate all we are. Every time we say yes, we are saying no to something else. We must ensure we are not saying “no” to something that will help us grow into who we are capable of being. It is okay and even required to say no to protect our time.

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5 – When we need to set boundaries.

Some people just do not understand the boundaries of what is acceptable to one person and what is not. It is important to let people know what our personal boundaries are. Let’s create a dialog around what we are comfortable talking about and what we are not, what we are comfortable doing and what we’re not, and most importantly, what we are comfortable feeling and what we’re not. When we have a clear picture of our boundaries, it becomes easier to honor and stand up for our truth.

Standing up for ourselves won’t guarantee we will get our way, but we will feel like we have more control over our life’s direction.

5 Signs You’re Underestimating Yourself

Many times in life, other people try to squash our confidence and make us feel inadequate. However, no one can make us feel this way unless we let them, which means only our thoughts about ourselves matter. More often than not, we are underestimating ourselves! It is our own voices trying to manipulate us into thinking we somehow don’t measure up to the rest of society. If you can invest in yourself and change those voices in your head to make them more positive, you will notice a dramatic shift in how the rest of the world looks through your eyes. However, many people don’t know how to do this and stay in a frustrating cycle of living a life that’s less than what they deserve.

Here are five signs you’re underestimating yourself:

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1. You have friends that bring you down.

Your friends, whether you like it or not, help to shape you as a person. If you hang around negative, unhealthy people with no direction in life, this behavior will start to rub off on you. Simply put, if you have friends who make you feel bad about yourself, you don’t value yourself. Don’t settle for friends who don’t respect you just so you won’t feel lonely; continue to work on you, and the right people will make their way into your life.

2. You always compare yourself to other people.

Comparison is such a toxic, energy-draining habit. Do you ever feel good after comparing yourself to someone else? Chances are, you feel pretty awful about yourself afterward. We can easily log onto Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or other social media sites to get a glimpse into people’s lives 24/7. However, social media doesn’t usually portray an accurate picture of someone’s life. You don’t get to see the whole story, only bits and pieces. So, why feel jealous or compare yourself to people you don’t really know? Just focus on feeling good within yourself, and you won’t feel the need to compare yourself to others.

3. You let your friends and family dictate your opinions and feelings.

Most of the time, friends and family have our best interests at heart; however, sometimes, they cast their own opinions onto us, expecting us to feel the same as they do about certain things. You have a mind of your own, so use it. Speak up if you disagree with someone; having a different opinion than your peers or family members won’t kill you. This just means you are exercising your right to free expression and that you value yourself enough to stay true to your heart. Just because your parents raised you, doesn’t mean they always know what’s best for you. Make your own decisions, and trust your Higher Self to lead you down the right path.

4. You are underestimating yourself because you have low self-esteem.

If you allow the outside world to dictate how you see yourself, you will probably have low self-esteem. Advertisements all over the place tell us we need all these things to feel good about ourselves and reach a happy place in our lives when in reality, it comes from within. People will say something about you no matter what you do in life, so why let them control how you feel about yourself? No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them, including yourself. You have no reason to feel bad about yourself; you have arrived on this planet for a purpose, and no one can fulfill it the same way you can.

You deserve to feel good about yourself because you matter. Don’t let anyone, even yourself, let you think that you don’t measure up. Life isn’t a race or a contest; it’s a journey, and you go at your own pace. Do what makes you feel happy, and take care of yourself. You will find that you have much more confidence in yourself by just doing these two simple things, and underestimating yourself will be a thing of the past.

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5. You settle a lot in life instead of striving for more.

Many people do this, unfortunately, in their jobs, schooling, personal lives, etc. If you settle in life instead of going for what you really want, you may have missed out on what could’ve been an amazing opportunity for yourself. Always aim high; if you miss, you can say you tried rather than staying safely on the sidelines, watching everyone else take a shot. You deserve to live life at your fullest potential, so don’t ever stop striving. Have big goals, and go after them. Settling for mediocrity just because following your dreams takes effort and courage is no excuse not to aspire for more in life.

5 Things You Should Never Settle For

Often, we end up settling for less than we deserve simply because we feel scared to change our situation. Taking a leap of faith and leaving behind the comforts of familiarity can seem difficult, scary, and downright uncomfortable. However, living a life that doesn’t express who we really only stifle our creativity, drive to succeed, and will to live. Many people fall into a state of depression simply because they feel stuck and don’t know where to turn, but you don’t have to settle for less. You CAN strive for more and should do this as often as possible.

We didn’t come into this life to play it safe and settle; we came to shake things up and prove to ourselves that we can live the life we’ve always imagined.

Here are five things you should never settle for:

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1. Don’t settle for mediocrity

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

How many times have you told yourself that you can’t do something? And how many times have you allowed that insecure negative voice inside you to shy away from something you really wanted and simply settle? Starting today, don’t let that voice control your life any longer; silence it with the power of confidence and faith in yourself. Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from striving for more; if anything, you can learn from the lessons present in failure, and use that as motivation to launch you to the next step in life.

Change is painful, but choosing to settle because you don’t think you have what it takes to succeed is even more excruciating.

2. Negative relationships

Relationships that only bring you down don’t serve a place in your life any longer. It might seem hard at first to cut ties with people you have known a long time, but you can’t go on allowing these relationships to dampen your enthusiasm for life. You need to surround yourself with people who have a similar, go-getter attitude about life; don’t let people who spew negativity settle into in your life. They will only take you in the wrong direction, away from your hopes and dreams.

Don’t hesitate to walk away from people that don’t allow you to blossom into your best self.

3. Never settle for a job you hate

This one sadly fits the majority of people in the workforce today. According to a report by the Conference Board, 52.3% of Americans are unhappy at work. Some studies even report higher numbers than this, proving that most people settle for a job they hate just to make ends meet. Most of the jobs we have today don’t serve the planet or its people in the best way, further isolating us from one another. A job shouldn’t just be a means to an end; it should fulfill, inspire, and challenge you. It should make you feel like you have a purpose in life, adding value to it. It might seem scary or impossible, but you CAN leave a job that makes you miserable.

Don’t settle for one you hate just because it pays the bills; you can do anything your heart desires, it just takes a lot of hard work and dedication. However, all the effort will pay off in the end because you will finally have a job that doesn’t even feel like work.

4. Living in a place that doesn’t make you happy

Many people stay shackled to one place in life, mostly out of fear. They fear running out of money, leaving behind the place they’ve lived for years, making new friends, etc. However, wouldn’t it feel worse to settle in a place you don’t belong than take your chances and see what a new city can offer you? Maybe a totally different country would suit you better; the point is, this life is short, and we shouldn’t spend it worrying about outcomes. We should use our time wisely and savor the journey because our experiences will make us better people.

To grow as a person, you need to follow your heart and try new things; otherwise, life becomes dull and mundane, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

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5. Living life by someone else’s rules

If you haven’t realized it by now, everyone lives according to the lens through which they see it. Everyone’s perspective and opinions differ because everyone sees life through their own mind. For this reason, you should never accept someone else’s standards for how you should live. Those ideals might work for that person, but not for you.

Don’t allow others to tell you how you should live; only you can decide for yourself. You write the script, and you get to act it out based on your viewpoint and ideas. Only you can write your story, so don’t let other people do it for you.

This Simple Test Can Predict The Future Of Your Relationship

Are you thinking of embarking on a relationship with someone, but are unsure about your long-term compatibility? Or do you have questions about your current relationship?

The best relationships can stagnate over time, but they can be revived with the right amount of care and attention, a mutual desire to have a future together, and obviously, a little love.

If you would like some insight into whether the future is going to be bright for your relationship, here is a fairly simple test that you can do.

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Think of it like this; a relationship is like a canoe trip taken by two people. It probably starts out smooth, but canoe rides have been known to get rough because they can encounter factors that cannot be planned for. Very few of us could get into a canoe with another person and master it in the short term. It will take time, patience and practice to get it right. Here are a few of the issues that can happen when taking a canoeing trip for two:

Plan the trip.

Why are we taking a canoe trip with another person? Maybe it’s because it seems like a nice thing to do, it’s a new experience, or we both thrive when active. Maybe we are trying canoeing because other sports haven’t worked out, and we’re willing to dip our feet into the metaphorical water again.

Are we both happy with the chosen destination or is one of us merely settling for it in the hope that we’ll get our way the next time?
Visualize the destination and see if there is a future. We should be asking ourselves if we can see ourselves there with this partner – being there, living there, and growing old together.

We’re both in the canoe, now what?

We are both equipped with the same tools with which to do the same amount of work. If we put in an equal amount of effort towards our shared destination as a team, then our canoe will sail smoothly. The trip will be enjoyable and unexpected obstacles like strong currents can be navigated smoothly together.

If one team member falls behind in their efforts, we’ll both go in circles. In the short term, the other person is going to be happy to pick up the slack – that’s part of being in a relationship after all. Maybe we can both slack off for a while and stop to enjoy the peace and quiet – to enjoy where we’re at, or just taking a look around. Don’t sit still for too long, though; it will eventually get dark, and it may be hard to find the shoreline.

If one of us is constantly putting in more effort than the other, we will go in circles for longer. That will soon become tiresome and a source of aggravation. Here’s the deal – if one of us is constantly not pulling our weight, we’ll be going nowhere despite all the efforts we put in.

When things get off course.

So we find ourselves going in circles and it’s getting tiring –  how do we fix it? We should talk about it, right?

Should we:
* Simply point out that there is a problem and hope for a journey-changing revelation to come from the other! Or maybe we say nothing and simply wait for the problem to magically fix itself. Now, magic fixes can happen, but because neither of us knows what the fix was, the problem is certain to resurface later.
* Merely point out that the other person is causing the problem? That’s going to help in the long run. Eventually a cry of “this is getting us nowhere” will happen followed by a discussion of the matter at hand, but now with added and unnecessary tension.
* Point out that there is a mutual problem and ask for ideas on how to solve it. Knowing that if we both work in harmony, we will be able to stabilize the ship and right the course. It might only be a short-term fix, but at least the journey is getting a fair shot at success.

Now that we’re back on course.

Now that we’ve made it through some choppy waters, where do we stand? Does our partner:
* Agree that there is a problem and agree that working together may be the solution?
* Deny that there is a problem at all. In which case, we’ll continue to go in tiresome circles until one party bails out?
* Simply bail out at the first sign of trouble!?
* Leave but then come back into the canoe because it’s safe, comfortable and familiar; only to bail and return repeatedly?

If so, who is doing the hard work? Who is keeping the canoe afloat? Who is letting them back in because it’s easier to have them in the canoe for a while, instead of dropping them off on dry land and continuing the journey alone but happy?

Have you taken this metaphorical journey before? The next time you’re faced with that crossroads, consider whether your relationship could survive the canoe test. If it can’t, stay dry! It’s very likely that there is a nice yacht on your horizon.

10 Houseplant Hacks For Anyone Without A Green Thumb

As the saying sometimes goes: “It’s a jungle in there.” A personal indoor jungle needs constant love and attention because houseplants do more than just make a home pretty.

Research shows that plants inside the home can result in better air and a healthier environment.

Ten Houseplant Hacks If You Lack a Green Thumb

Of course, not everyone has the magic touch when it comes to keeping plants alive. To help out, here are ten houseplant hacks for anyone without a green thumb:

 

plants

1. Get to know the plants.

A little investigation will tell us which plants like the light and which ones like a little more shade. Some plants like to be by the window, and others do not. Some plants are more suited to a particular room in the house than others. And some like lots of water, and some like their soil a bit drier. Knowing our plants and what they need to grow will help keep them healthy for the longest time.

2. Plants like their morning coffee too.

Coffee is not only our friend but it’s also a good friend to our plants. If leftover coffee is in the pot, dilute it with equal water and feed it to the acid-loving plants instead of regular watering.

3. Create a mini-compost pile.

Leftover coffee grounds, egg shells, and vegetable trimmings make a wonderful fertilizer for our plants. Have a little bucket to dispose of the excess plant-based food material and mix it into the plants’ soil. Both indoor and outdoor plants can benefit from this nourishing and natural insect and slug repellent. An interesting tip: Starbucks and some local coffee houses offer used coffee grounds free to customers.

4. Filter it.

And on coffee, line the base of the plant pots with coffee filters. This is an inexpensive way of keeping things clean and tidy. Put the filter on the pot’s base before filling it with compost. Excess water will be able to seep through, but the compost will be kept where it’s meant to be, making the life of a houseplant owner just a bit easier.

5. Recycle water.

Water used for cooking and washing up can be recycled back into the plants and the garden. When we cook vegetables, rice, or pasta, or boil some eggs, we can use the cooking water to keep our plants thriving. If it’s dishwashing water, make sure it’s a plant-based detergent we use for washing up; then, the water is good to go. One thing to remember; water used to cook meat or clean pots containing meat or dairy is unsuitable for use in the garden.

6. Give seedlings a good start.

Plant them in hollowed-out lemon halves or egg containers cut into individual pots and filled with compost. Used toilet roll centers also work well. Just fold in the ends, and it’s now a little pot. When the time comes, put the seedling and its container on the ground.

7. Create an indoor herb garden.

There will need natural light to have a thriving indoor herb garden. Scout out the best location, usually in a south or southwest window. Most herbs require at least four hours of sun each day and water when the top of the soil is dry. Use the herbs as soon as they are ready because most herbs do best when used before flowering.

8. Create mini greenhouses.

Use jars with lids or plastic jugs cut in half to make mini-greenhouses. This helps plants thrive, especially in infancy. Greenhouses can help regulate temperature and maintain a moist environment for seedlings. Not only do they give young plants a better start, but they are also great conversation starters.

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9. Choosing the right plants.

Several plant species do not require a green thumb. Aloe vera, the spider plant, jade, and ponytail palm are just a few examples that are practically impossible to kill. In fact, even those hapless gardeners with minimal skills have a good shot at keeping these plants alive. Do the research and pick plants that are easy to maintain.

10. Keep plants bug free.

Garlic isn’t only good for warding off vampires; it can also help keep bugs out of plants. Simply put a clove of garlic into the houseplant to keep pests away. If the garlic begins to sprout, simply cut it back. Garlic is a well-known insect repellent both indoors and outdoors.

There are ten ways to get the best from the plants around the house. Happy planting!

5 Things to Stop Accepting In Your Relationship

Relationships are hard. In fact, according to Lisa Blum, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist in Southern California, “The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work.”

Our ideas about the “perfect” relationship often get in the way of the work we need to do. It’s easy to lose sight of the goal – which should be to live a happy life together. Sometimes, we accept things we shouldn’t have to to “keep the peace”.

Knowing nothing is perfect and that relationships are complex, it makes sense to be mindful about what we do and do not accept in them…

Here are 5 things to stop accepting in your relationship:

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Stop accepting behaviors that break your trust.

There is a reason that trust is number one – because trust is the most important in each and every kind of relationship. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship is built, and it is mistrust that often destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than being deceitful.

Something to understand – when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, it’s not your fault it’s theirs. It’s very natural to immediately blame yourself for having trusted someone only to have them break that trust, but don’t.

It’s only through experience that we determine whether or not someone is trustworthy; either way, you’ll learn a valuable lesson or add a great relationship.

Stop accepting negative energy

A positive relationship should mostly be uplifting, leaving you feeling inspired for the next meeting. You shouldn’t leave each meeting with someone feeling drained and negative, and you surely shouldn’t accept this negative energy in your closest relationships.

Sure, there will be some rough patches along the way, but it’s mostly a constructive experience. You should be accepting of each other, supportive and responsive.

If you hit a point where the positive aspects of the relationship are sporadic, it may be time to move on. You may actually come to a point where you actually attempt to avoid the person while hoping to maintain the relationship. This may sound crazy, but people do it all the time. “Maybe it’ll get better,” they think to themselves. Perhaps it’s not a normal, functioning, or healthy relationship.

Stop Accepting Sluggishness

To be happy in a relationship, you must first be happy with yourself. When life gets busy, making exercising together a priority can be challenging. There are a million reasons to skip your workout, but how does that make you feel – sluggish or lazy, maybe? Those are not feelings you want to bring into your relationship.

Tip: Start exercising together

Exercising together is a great way to build a stronger relationship. Couples that exercise together will see physical benefits, but you will be surprised to learn that your emotional connections also become stronger.

Stop accepting competition.

Maybe you have a goal of losing thirty pounds before summer vacation, so you start hitting the gym and eating better together. Soon, though, you might notice the other person lifting heavier weights, so you try to one-up them, and eventually it turns into a vicious game rather than a mutual goal.

Remain supportive and encourage the other person to do his or her best while also putting in your greatest effort – as long as you try your hardest and cheer your partner on, you’ll both come out on top!

Stop accepting the belief that you need to change who you are around that person.

You should never feel the need to be another person to accommodate someone. It’s exhausting first of all, and it is a telltale sign that the relationship is not consensual. Some element of that individual does not jive with the person you are.

Whether or not the person verbalizes their dissatisfaction with you or you innately know that you must change for them to accept you doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do not feel comfortable being yourself, which shouldn’t be acceptable to you under any circumstance.

4 Benefits Of Living With Less Plastic

The word ‘plastic’ is derived from the Greek word ‘plastikos’ which describes something that can be molded. That is very fitting, as today we have molded our world from so much plastic. It’s everywhere!

Think for a moment how hard it is to avoid plastic. It’s the button you have just pressed right now or the computer mouse in your hand. It might even be most of the monitor or mobile device you are looking at right now, too. When you wake up in the morning, it’s in your alarm clock, the plastic shampoo bottle in the shower, and even plastic kitchenware. And so it goes throughout your day.

Can you imagine life without it? A life free of plastic would be difficult, though not impossible. There are many advocates for living a plastic-free life, and it all stems from potential health risks from using plastic. It has been proven that the chemicals used in plastic, many of them toxic, can migrate from the plastic into the products we’re consuming.

Here are four benefits of living with less plastic:

The threat of excess waste is endangering our health.

Life with less plastic makes us feel good.

When we start to eliminate the plastic from our home, it’s going to look and feel a lot more natural—and that will make us feel good! We might end up with a few interesting stainless steel buckets and a stainless steel kettle. We might gather a myriad of glass bottles and jars in all shapes, sizes and colors. Our food will be stored in glass or metal containers. Our shopping will be done with cloth bags that can be used again and again. We’ll be cooking with metal utensils. We’ll also be carrying a stainless steel or glass water bottle with us when you go out and about, and as a consequence, our water is going to taste better.

Life with less plastic makes us more ecologically aware.

We all ponder the great environmental conundrum: what difference can we make when millions of others simply don’t care or make little or no effort?

We’ve read and heard hundreds if not thousands of inspirational, true stories throughout our lives of how one person can make a difference. Think of Gandhi or Abraham Lincoln or Rosa Parks or more recently, Malala Yousafzai. If you believe that just one person can make a difference, then it must follow that we believe that we can make a difference.

If just one less person avoids buying plastic, then they are not generating waste for landfill. They’re not discarding plastic that may ultimately end up in the oceans or filling the bellies of our wildlife. One less piece of plastic makes our world a better place.

On a related note, a huge amount of plastic is derived from petroleum products, in other words, a non-renewable resource. Even the separation and recycling of plastic is labour and energy intensive, and we have better options.

Life with less plastic will make us healthier.

As mentioned above, there is a real risk of the carcinogens from plastic leaking in your food, drinks and even your beauty products. This can have a significant impact on our health depending on the amount of plastic in our lives. Less plastic packaging will lead to better and healthier food and drink choices, as well as beauty products.

Not only will we feel better being surrounded by environmentally-friendly things, but we’ll also feel good about our contribution to the world. These things make a person happy, and happy people live longer on average.

It can help keep our children safe.

Think about all the toys made of plastic these days and consider how many of those toys end up in the mouths of our children. If the toxins from plastic can leak into our food, then it is safe to say that it can transfer into the body when being gnawed on. And our children are much more susceptible, being smaller in size with less developed immune systems.

We should be more thoughtful the next time we’re buying a gift for a loved one. It’s time to start thinking differently and making the effort to make better choices for our loved ones and the world we live in.

Living life with less plastic is not that hard to wrap your mind around and will only take a little practice and thought. To implement such a change only involves one alternative decision the next time you are in the supermarket or out shopping.

Simply change out one small item at a time. Try to swap one item this week. Starting is easy. This week, instead of taking plastic bags to the shops or elsewhere, bring a reusable bag. The next week buy a glass water bottle and start carting it around. And then the next week, choose the better-packaged option of something that is on the grocery list. Imagine just ten weeks down the road how different things will be!

20 Quotes That Will Stop An Argument In Its Tracks

As a society, we tend to lose our ability to debate without getting angry. Instead, we find ourselves drawing lines in the sand around our beliefs. So we might forget to listen to the other side of the story. An argument begins when a disagreement has the promise of compromise.

Most arguments these days result from two people trying to prove how right they are. There is no compromise. And instead, damaged relationships result. Nobody wins anything. There is no point in having creative ideas and innovative thoughts when we can’t convince someone else to listen. Thus, we can persuade them to consider an alternative point of view.

To have a good and fair argument, we must remain calm, respectful, and committed to listening and hearing our opponent’s point of view. We have a much better chance of a fair fight when we start there. If our opponent doesn’t share the same commitment to productive arguing, it is probably wise to consider walking away.

When to walk away from an argument

Walk away from any argument when the opponent chooses not to listen respectfully or when they exhibit anger, frustration or become verbally abusive. There is no “winning” an argument when the situation isn’t based on respectful communication. The other thing to remember is winning doesn’t come from changing someone’s mind; it comes from presenting a logical, factual, and meaningful discussion to support your point of view.

It’s hard to remember to take the high road in an argument, especially when we want others to understand and validate our point of view. But take the high road we must. And something as simple as a quote can remind us not to engage in a disagreement that isn’t going anywhere. When we begin to recognize the signs, we can make better choices and stop quarrels before they get out of hand.

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Here are twenty quotes that will stop an argument in its tracks:

“Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.” ~ Desmond Tutu

“The silence is the worst part of any fight, because it’s made up of all the things we wish we could say, if only we had the guts.” ~ Pete Wentz, Gray

“Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create goodwill, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.” ~ Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

“If men would consider not so much wherein they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling.” ~ Joseph Addison

“A lot of arguments can be avoided if we simply stop and think about our response before we say it.” ~ Charles Harper

“The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Arguments, like men are often pretenders.” ~ Plato

“The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.” ~ Joseph Joubert

“No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or emotional appeal.” ~ Marilyn Ferguson

“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand.” ~ Colin Powell

“Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong.” ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

“Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance.” ~ Robert Quillen

“Be able to defend your arguments in a rational way. Otherwise, all you have is an opinion.” ~ Marilyn vos Savant

“A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.” ~ Miguel de Unamuno

“Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.” ~ Samuel Butler

“People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.” ~ Will Rogers

“Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic.” ~ William E. Gladstone

“Don’t take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the right side.” ~ Baltasar Gracian

“I passionately believe that’s it’s not just what you say that counts, it’s also how you say it – that the success of your argument critically depends on your manner of presenting it.” ~ Alain de Botton

“Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

“Why do people always assume that volume will succeed when logic won’t?” ~ L.J. Smith, Nightfall

10 Foods That Are Hurting Your Brain

In our world today, we constantly get bombarded with images and commercials advertising delicious, tempting, unhealthy foods. Our society seems more focused on making ends meet, even at the cost of having an overweight, nutrient-deficient, lethargic population. Many of us work long hours, and don’t feel like making healthy foods when we get home. We want something quick, easy, and readily available to us, which usually means TV dinners and fast food.

Staying on track with a diet can seem utterly impossible when you walk into a store filled with more toxic, chemical-laden, nutrient-poor foods than healthy, nutritious, nurturing foods. Indeed, some things in moderation won’t really damage your health. However, consuming them regularly can cause serious, even fatal, diseases. To have optimal health, you should avoid the following foods at all costs, or at least eat them very sparingly.

Here are 10 foods that are hurting your brain:

healthy foods

1. Tuna

In a study performed earlier this year, University of Michigan researchers reported that mercury levels in yellowfin tuna had increased almost 4 percent annually from 1998 to 2008. Regular exposure to mercury can cause serious, sometimes irreversible, brain and nervous system damage. Our oceans have become contaminated with a dangerous cocktail of environmental pollutants, which the marine life inevitably absorb. When we consume seafood nowadays, most of it will contain several toxic heavy metals which our bodies simply don’t digest or absorb properly.

An analysis by health experts at the magazine Consumer Reports found that a 140 pound woman would exceed safe mercury exposure by consuming just 4.5 ounces of tuna per week. A 48 pound child who eats more than one-third a can of tuna per week, or the equivalent of the amount on a single tuna sandwich, could suffer permanent brain damage from mercury exposure.

If you do choose to eat tuna, go for canned light tuna rather than albacore, as this kind contains less mercury. Better yet, you could cut out seafood entirely, or go for shrimp, scallops, sardines, or wild and Alaskan salmon, which all have low levels of mercury.

2. Partially hydrogenated oils

If you see hydrogenated oils on a label, please do yourself a favor and put the product back on the shelf. Hydrogenated oils have no place in the human body, and some studies have even found that the oils leave scars on the internal walls of the arteries due to nickel often used in the hydrogenation process. That’s right; partially hydrogenated oils contain a catalyst to heat the oil up faster Furthermore, manufacturers employ nickel, platinum, or even aluminum in the process. Heavy metals such as these have been linked to Alzheimer’s and other mental problems, so anything with partially hydrogenated oils should be avoided at all costs.

Hydrogenated oil is only one molecule away from plastic, so think about the adverse effects you could experience from consuming this toxic man-made concoction.

3. Sugar

Of course. naturally occurring sugar from fruits and starches is perfectly fine to consume. But when manufacturers extract them and add them back into processed foods, then it becomes a problem. Refined sugar, for one, doesn’t contain any nutritional benefits, so it’s just empty calories at the end of the day. In various studies, refined sugar has also been linked to an increase in anxiety, depression, and addiction, and a decrease in learning and memory.

4. Fructose

Naturally occurring fructose found in fruit will not harm your health; it only becomes an issue when you eat fructose out of its natural state, such as in boxed or canned foods. Consuming too much processed fructose can lead to insulin resistance, obesity, diabetes, a fatty liver, high blood pressure, and much, much more. Not to mention, fructose can cause neural activity to stagnate for up to 20 minutes, according to a 2011 study on the impact of glucose and fructose on the brain.

5. Saturated fats

Most people know that a diet high in saturated fat can clog the arteries and contribute to heart disease and strokes, but did you know that a diet heavy in saturated fat can impair cognitive function as well? A study published in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology found that consuming large amounts of saturated fat can lead to reduced cognitive function and also a dulling of the dopamine reward system, increasing dependency and addiction to unhealthy foods.

According to Stephanie Fulton, a professor at the University of Montreal’s Department of Nutrition,

“Our research shows that independent of weight gain and obesity, high-fat feeding can cause impairments in the functioning of the brain circuitry profoundly implicated in mood disorders, drug addiction, and overeating — several states and pathologies that impinge on motivation and hedonia.”

6. Processed foods

Processed foods usually have a laundry list of chemicals, some of which have been linked to mental and behavioral disorders. Aside from the dangers of the ingredients, a study published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation in 2012 showed how a diet high in fatty processed foods can even damage the hypothalamus. That’s a part of the brain that regulates hunger and thirst levels.

7. Fast food

More and more studies have been published about the detrimental effects of fast food on the body, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise why fast foods can cause so much damage. These “foods” have been stripped of almost all nutrients, and altered drastically from their natural state. A better way to describe them is food-like substances. That’s because these culinary inventions really don’t resemble food at all. Fast foods lack many vitamins and minerals, including iron; iron deficiency might lead to poorer scores on tests in students who regularly consume fast food.

8. Microwave popcorn

Another highly processed food, this one causes even more damage due to the way in which one must prepare it. Besides toxic chemicals and additives, the  microwave strips the food of any nutrients that might be left. Further, it increases white blood cell levels and creates carcinogens. Not to mention, the radioactive emissions generated from the microwave can lead to a slew of mental health problems.

9. Cookies and chips

Another form of refined, processed food, cookies and chips have pretty much zero nutritional benefits, but add on unnecessary calories. If you want a snack, go for some fresh fruit or vegetables. You will avoid all the chemicals and extra sugar in these highly addictive foods.

10. Corn syrup

According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, consuming drinks or foods with high fructose corn syrup disrupts the part of the brain that tells us when we’re full, which leads to eating or drinking unneeded calories. Also, consuming free fructose (not in fruit) is just as addictive as drugs. In fact, food marketers all over the place likely know this. Thus, they use this to take advantage of us.

To achieve optimal mental health, try to avoid these foods or severely limit them in your diet.

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