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10 Parenting Behaviors That Create Empathetic Children

December 2, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The ability to display an empathetic demeanor – that is, feeling, understanding, and sharing each other’s emotions – is a very noble personality trait. Quite frankly, a personality trait that this world needs much more of. Desperately…just take a look around.

The only way that we’re going to effectively promote the ability to empathize, for future generations, is to teach children to do likewise. To accomplish this, we – as mature adults – must be willing to take on the responsibility. Of course, much of this responsibility rests on the shoulders of the most influential people in a child’s life: the parent(s).

Definition of Empathy

1: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it

2: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit matter

– Merriam Webster Dictionary

Raising Empathetic Children

But, children are immature (albeit, some more than others). It’s just the nature of being a child, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taking this into consideration, instilling a value, trait, characteristic, etc., can be a difficult task. Teaching empathy is no different in this respect.

As parents, it is important to understand that empathy is also an essential social skill. A skill that builds relationships, strengthens communities, and simply be more caring and kind people.

There ARE many ways that we can teach our children this valuable social skill.

In fact, here are the ways to teach them to become more empathetic:

1. Don’t suppress the child’s emotions

Parents often attempt to suppress children’s emotions, saying things like “Stop yelling,” “Don’t cry,” “Be a big boy/girl,” etc. This is actually a natural tendency, as parents do not like seeing their children hurt or in pain. However, this can actually stunt a child’s emotional development. More specifically, the child may be less willing to share emotions after being interacted with in such a way.

Instead, just acknowledge the child’s feelings and keep the door of communication open.

2. Emphasize and practice gratitude

The ability to express gratitude is a common trait among happy people. In a study conducted by Dr. Robert Emmons, researcher at the University of California-Davis, expression of gratitude increases happiness levels by about 25 percent.

Parents can teach and encourage gratitude in their children by simply displaying it themselves; or, asking a child to think about the good things in their life. Simply asking a child what their favorite part of the day way can build the foundation for a life of gratitude.

3. Provide opportunities to practice empathy

One great thing about children is they love to be of help to others. It makes them feel good. This is why it is very important at this stage to provide opportunities for them to do just that. Think: donating something (e.g. money, food, time) to people in need.

Behavioral and developmental practitioners state that a child’s desire to help others is innate, and revolves around three main points. First, in the beginning, helping others helps the child get what they want. Second, helping others gets them praise. Finally, the ability to anticipate the needs of others develops; as it does, helping others becomes its own reward.

4. Allow the child to see you vulnerable

Shared experiences among fellow humans is a very powerful thing, and children are no different in this respect. When they witness their parent’s willingness to share their own vulnerabilities, it helps to develop a sense of stability and normalcy within the child.

This display of vulnerability can be as simple as apologizing to a child when you’ve made a mistake.

5. Give names for feelings

The development of emotional intelligence is vital to one’s success later on in life. During childhood, this skill can be developed by naming feelings that the child is having. For example, if the child is having difficulty with homework, share something like: “I know. When I can’t figure something out, I get frustrated too. You may be getting frustrated. Do you want some help?”

All feelings – embarrassment, fear, shame, sadness, joy, jealously, etc., – can be named the same way.

6. Non-judgmentally acknowledge emotions

One prominent child psychologist put it this way: “Acknowledging isn’t condoning our child’s actions; it’s validating the feelings behind them.” In other words, while we may see the behavior as silly, the child is only acting on their emotions. As such, acknowledging emotions evokes a sense of communication, safety, and belonging in the relationship.

Remember, childhood is a developmental phase. It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge emotions (e.g. “I understand your angry/frustrated/hurt because…) since we just don’t any better, really, at that age.

7. Ask about feelings hypothetically

There are many times parents will observe a heightened emotional situation. We’re able to – at least to some degree – process what’s going on and maybe even the reason behind it. Children don’t have that capability.

As such, it can be valuable to simply interact with a child about the situation (“How do you think he/she feels?,” “Why do you think that?”) This teaches children the importance of rationally evaluating and interpreting emotions.

8. Discuss other people’s feelings

Kind of a no-brainer here, right? Children often have difficulty understanding the rationale behind why someone feels the way that they do. Sadly, there are a multitude of adults that have the exact same problem.

Hence, the importance of having dialogue with children about the “why behind the what” when it comes to emotions.

9. Display empathetic behavior towards others

Children learn by what they see and hear…it’s that simple. If parents are caring and empathetic, even to people they don’t know, the child will likely learn to do the same. Conversely, if parents are cold and repelling to people they don’t know (maybe even to do those they do), the child will likely learn that lesson, unfortunately.

10. See the world through the child’s eyes

Children must feel safe when expressing their emotions in order for them to feel loved and welcomed. Parents, understandably so, often praise positive emotions (e.g. joy, laughter) and criticize negative emotions (e.g. crying, screaming). However, this is not always the best way to go about it.

We, too, were children once. We undoubtedly acted impulsively and “irrationally.” But, childhood is a phase of life that we adults often forget about. Try seeing the world through a young child’s eyes instead of your own, as difficult as that can be at times.

Source: Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.

10 Signs Your Relationship Is Suffering From Stress

December 2, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Stress is pretty much unavoidable in a relationship – any relationship. Intimate relationships, such as marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend, can be particularly taxing. But, while stress is unavoidable in relationships, it doesn’t need to define it.

Frequent stressful episodes, however, are never a good thing. When you and your partner are constantly under the pressures that stress brings, the relationship is at risk of failing. To avoid this, it is necessary to identify and attempt to mitigate the stressors.

Here, we’ll discuss ten common signs that a relationship suffers from stress. Hopefully, should you identify with any of them, you and your partner can work things out!

Here are ten signs that your relationship is suffering from stress:

1. You don’t have any ‘me’ time

Because our lives are so busy, it is easy to feel that alone time is near-impossible. When things begin to create a sense of emotional overwhelm, it is a clear-cut sign of too much stress. This affects the relationship because internal stressors will (almost always) surface in the home. This creates a sense of disconnect.

It’s important to schedule some time – even if it’s just a few minutes each day – for doing things that are enjoyable to you. Discuss this with your partner.

2. Intimacy and sex are increasingly rare

In the early stages of a relationship, intimacy and sex are usually not a problem. There’s a sense of novelty, and excitement – not to mention adoration – of your partner. It’s normal for this sexual excitement to wane a bit; but it’s not normal for intimacy or sex to be very rare.

Intimacy is vital in a relationship. As such, it is necessary to have constructive dialogue with your partner. Even if one of you lacks the drive for sex, find other ways to be physical and nurturing.

3. You/your partner are not listening to each other

When either you/your partner try to engage in a conversation, and it becomes increasingly one-sided, it may be a sign that stress is present. Short, sharp answers – ones that don’t require any thought – are another pretty obvious sign.

Try to ask what’s wrong, and work on finding a solution to any underlying problems. This may help promote an environment for more constructive communication.

4. You/your partner are not interested in communicating

This one is similar to #3, but is a bit more serious. When communication is nearly absent, it’s likely that a serious problem exists that is causing significant stress. Effective communication is absolutely critical in a relationship; the lack of which can quickly end it.

It’s important that this is addressed, and done so quickly. Whether through the help of a counselor, or an obligatory sit-down with your partner, a solution is needed.

5. You/your partner are spending more time with others than each other

There’s actually a term for this – it’s called “escapism.” Also known as avoidance behavior, allocating more time for others, and less for their partner, is almost always a very bad sign. This can even take place in the home, where your partner is spending more time with kids or pets.

The solution is to convey how such behavior makes your feel, and seek out professional guidance, if necessary.

6. You/your partner are spending much more time pursuing hobbies

Every man or woman has things that they really enjoy doing, which is great. We all need an escape from time-to-time. However, when hobbies become what appears to be an obsession, this could mean trouble for a relationship.

Try to empathize here, telling your partner that it’s great that they have hobbies. Perhaps suggest things that both of you could do together that would be fun.

7. You/your partner’s common habits begin annoying you more

Rising agitation at your partners well-known habits could be the result of accumulating stress. Snoring, for example, is common habit that can be annoying. Normally, either a solution is found or the other person learns to simply accept it. But, when it becomes almost unbearable – maybe ever to the point of sleeping on the couch – it’s a stress problem.

Once again, communication is critical here. The agitated partner needs to convey their feelings in an honest, constructive manner.

8. You/your partner are drinking more frequently

Excessive alcohol consumption during a relationship usually stems from one of two things: alcoholic tendencies, or as a means of stress relief. Either way, this sudden abuse of alcohol can quickly destroy a relationship; as it is much more likely that underlying stress will exacerbate – for both people involved.

The person doing the drinking must be open to feedback, which can be difficult if many relationship stressors are present. It may be necessary see a professional in this case for advice.

9. You/your partner mention separation or divorce

Pretty obvious one here. When stress levels reach a point where the relationship is damaged, it is common for one or both people to mention separation or divorce. This is not to be taken lightly, as the suggestion of such can cause severe emotional harm.

That said, sometimes divorce or separation is the answer. Before making such a life-changing decision, however, a constructive dialogue must be possible. This may require the intervention of a relationship counselor, lawyer, or other professional.

10. You/your partner make excuses why you can’t “be there”

Really, this is just another example of avoidance behavior. If someone comes up with excuses why they can’t be present for something – especially something important – it may indicate that the person is already disconnecting from the relationship. Obviously, there’s a lot of stress involved; not to mention the emotional harm inflicted on the people affected by their absence.

First, honest communication from both people is essential in resolving the problem. However, the intervention of a relationship counselor or other professional is often necessary.

10 Early Warning Signs You’re Catching A Cold (And How to Prevent It)

December 2, 2016 by Power of Positivity

No one really likes cold and flu season; we dread it even more should we acquire either one. Terrible.

Sore throat, runny nose, chest congestion, sinus congestion, cough. Ugh, ugh, ugh, and freaking UGH. Oh, and sometimes you can come down with a fever. A cold is never a “24-hour” thing either; instead, we can expect the dreadfulness to stick around for a week, maybe even two. Meanwhile, everyone else avoids us like the plague – and rightfully so.

Here’s the good news: if we learn some basic prevention stuff, we may be able to stave off a cold. You see, a cold is one of those sicknesses that sends us subtle “pre-symptom” signs; if we learn to pay attention to our bodies, we can be effective in preventing it.

So, we have two choices: (a) do some basic preventative stuff and avoid being sick, or (b) enjoy a cold and all of its dreadfulness.

We’ll ALL go with (a).

And here are 10 early warning signs of the common cold, and how you can prevent it:

1. Your energy levels are depleted.

We can feel when our energy reserves are getting low. This is especially true at the workplace, when our energy levels must maintain equilibrium in order to accomplish anything. If – at the end of the day – you’re completely spent, a cold may be surfacing.

The Solution: Find some way to relax. Chronic stress suppresses the immune system, making it more difficult to ward off any impending illness. A break is in order to correct this.

2. Your throat begins to feel “scratchy.”

Colds are upper respiratory illnesses; as such, it is common for areas of the upper body to feel early symptoms. Obviously, this includes the throat, where a cold virus can cause inflammation of the throat.

The Solution: Gargle with salt water. While it may sound funny, gargling with salt water reduces inflammation and mucus accumulation.

3. You’re blowing your nose more

If you’re beginning to blow your nose more often than usual, it may be a sign of impending illness. The areas surrounding the nose and sinuses are often the first to feel the effects of a cold virus.

The Solution: Take hot showers. A hot shower can be a cure-all for nasal symptoms. The steam that hot water emits reduces swelling into the nasal membranes, which also makes it much easier to breathe better.

4. Pressure in your sinuses

It’s common during the onset of a cold to feel pain around your sinuses. Symptoms include headache, pressure, or watery and tired eyes. This is one of the first symptoms that a cold virus is trying to invade the sinuses.

The Solution: Eat chicken soup. Yes, chicken soup really is good for feeling better. Specifically, the electrolytes, heat, and salt within the soup is terrific for hydration; while the ingredients reduce congestion.

5. Your nose is a bit stuffed up

When you can’t breathe through the nose easily, the nasal passages are susceptible to cold germs. As mentioned, symptoms will often appear around the nose and nasal passageways; it is important to address these symptoms before full onset of a cold.

The Solution: Drink a lot of liquids. Hydrating your body thins out mucus and keeping nasal membranes moist.

6. You’re coughing more

It seems obvious, but we have a way of disregarding something as “harmless” as a simple cough. Noticeably frequent coughing, however, can be a telltale sign of a surfacing cold.

The Solution: Prop yourself up. With pillows, that is. The reason? Lying flat on a surface actually allows congestion in the sinuses to permeate your throat – a byproduct of gravitational pull. So, counteract this natural law and use pillows to keep these areas clear.

7. Your chest is kind of stuffed up

As a cold virus works its way downward, it’s common to feel tightness in the chest. Germs contained within the lungs manifest into congestion of the airways. Oftentimes, this tightness is quite subtle, and can be difficult to “detect.”

The Solution: Get some light exercise. Light exercise is a wonderful in a variety of ways, which includes keeping us healthy. Various studies demonstrate that light exercise can: result in fewer illnesses and reduce illness symptoms.

8. You feel super tired

No real big surprise here. When our bodies are being invaded by germs, our immune system kicks into overdrive. As a result, we feel more fatigued – and even exhausted. Fatigue symptoms can be minor or severe, but it’s essential that they’re addressed.

The Solution: Get plenty of sleep. It doesn’t matter if you feel slightly tired or exhausted…it is absolutely crucial that we listen to our bodies. Consider this study by Carnegie Mellon University: people who got less than seven hours of sleep per night were three times more likely to get a cold.

9. Your sleep is disrupted

When we’re getting sick, viruses have a way of interfering with our regular sleeping patterns. This is hardly surprising, as our bodies have an innate talent for detecting anything wrong. If you’re being woken up frequently throughout the night, it could be sign of an impending illness.

The Solution: Melatonin or Valerian Supplementation. Melatonin helps to regulate the body’s natural sleep patterns by normalizing circadian rhythms – the sleep/wake cycle. Valerian is an herb that has been around for centuries, and has been thought to contain properties that reduce symptoms of sleeplessness.

10. You just feel “off”

Yes, the phrase “You just feel ‘off’” is very abstract. However, it is nonetheless true. As mentioned above, it is very important that we listen to our bodies in order to ward off impending illnesses, including colds.

The Solution: Herbs and/or Vitamins. Vitamin C and Zinc for reducing illness duration; Vitamin D for cold prevention. The herbs Echinacea and Elderberry to strengthen the immune system.

Sources:
Donvito, T. (n.d.) Cold symptoms: Signs a Cold is Coming. Retrieved November 27, 2016 from http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/cold-symptoms/
Natural sleep aids and remedies. (2015, September 2). Retrieved November 27, 2016, from WebMD, http://www.webmd.com/women/natural-sleep-remedies#1

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Researchers Reveal The Single-Most Important Thing You Need to Be Happy

December 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

It is safe to say that we are all in the pursuit of happiness, and for most of us, being happy is directly related to acquiring wealth. They say money can’t buy happiness, but studies have proven that money does indeed make us happier, which shouldn’t come as a huge surprise as we simply need money in order to meet our most basic needs and wants. The real question lies in what we do with that money. How do we get the most bang for our buck when we spend in the pursuit of happiness?

Thanks to a study conducted by a psychology professor at Cornell University we now have answers. The results? Forget about that jewelry, fancy new smart phone, or luxury car. Invest in travel and other experiences.

The Problem with Material Wealth

That’s right. Travel and other experiences have been proven to make us the happiest the longest. Sounds backwards doesn’t it? One would think purchasing a physical object that we desire, that will last forever, will make us happy much longer than spending money on a one time experience. Dr. Thomas Gilovich from Cornell University explains this through the concept of adaptation. Simply put, buying the things we desire does make us happy for a while, but we soon adapt to these things and are no longer excited by them. “The grass is always greener on the other side” is a phrase that immediately comes to mind and one many can relate to. You might be super excited to buy that new luxury car and it will make you very happy, but only for a while. Soon you will adapt, and it will no longer be exciting and new and you will be left wanting.

The Power of Experience

It’s a vicious cycle, but one that can be corrected by allocating our money and priorities in new directions, specifically by spending our hard earned cash on travel and experiences. Gilovich’s study determined that peoples satisfaction with physical purchases went down over time, while satisfaction with money spent on experiences, even one-time trips, only increased over time. Our experiences are truly a part of who we are, and the same simply can’t be said for our material goods.

A separate study conducted by Gilovich determined that even negative experiences eventually bring more satisfaction than material goods. On the surface this might not make sense. We have all had bad experiences, and they are never pleasant at the time, but how often do we look back on these experiences and laugh at our misfortune or even bond with others who have had similar bad experiences. You may have even learned something from that bad experience that will always stay with you.

These are universal feelings that can be easily shared with other people, which leads to yet another benefit of travel experiences over the purchase of material goods. We are much more likely to bond with others over a shared experience than a shared material good. You can only chat with someone about your mutually new smart phone for so long. Meet someone who also traveled to an interesting place? That conversation is going to go on much longer and create a more meaningful bond. Comparing material goods on the other hand can be quite toxic as they often lead to questions of economic status which leads to unhealthy envy. This is much less of an issue when discussing experiences, even if one experience was more luxurious than another.

Focus On Your Next Great Experience

What does all this mean? Take the simple step of prioritizing travel and experiences over the purchase of material goods. You will create long lasting happiness that will lead to a healthy full life. When you feel like you absolutely have to have something, simply step back and ask yourself if you really need it. Will it make you truly happy? Or is your money better spent on a great experience you will remember for the rest of your life.

Travel doesn’t have to be expensive. Start with a small trip and be open to any experiences that may come along. Sooner or later, you’re likely to get hooked on these new experiences, and you’ll find yourself happily skipping that trip to the mall and planning a vacation instead. Travel is a great opportunity to experience a lot of new things at once. You can stay at new places, participate in new activities, and meet new people, all of which will provide you with meaningful experiences and memories.

Your Story is Based on Your Experiences, Not Your Things

Happiness is everyone’s right and it shouldn’t be out of reach for anyone. You truly are the sum of your experiences and the story of your life will be built on those experiences; it will have nothing to do with how much money you left in the bank, how big your house was, or how fancy your car was. The secret to a happy, healthy life? It’s simple. Get out and experience the world first-hand. You will create memories that you can treasure and share for the rest of your life.

11 Major Differences Between Busy vs Productive People

November 30, 2016 by Sarah Barkley

Do you know the difference between busy vs productive people? If not, you might feel like you aren’t making any progress even though you’re always doing something. By being busy but not productive, you waste your precious time and interfere with your advancement in life.

One difference is that a busy person rushes around frantically, talking about how busy they are. Productive people, on the other hand, stay calm, in control, and prioritizes essential tasks. They don’t constantly talk about their busy lives because they’re too busy managing their time wisely.

Busy vs productive might sound similar, but they are more different than you might realize. To be busy means that someone is always doing something, whereas being productive means getting things done. Productivity leads to better results and more free time, while business only causes stress.

Learning about the habits of a busy vs productive person can help you make a positive change in your life. You can begin eliminating your old ways of thinking and developing beneficial habits that lead to productivity. This change will make all the difference in your life.

You can ask me for anything you like, except time.” -Napolean Bonaparte

Eleven Habits That Differentiate Between Busy Vs Productive People

Here are eleven ways you can see the difference between busy vs productive people:

1. They Prioritize

Productive people identify and prioritize the important and necessary tasks in their life. They keep these things separate from the things that aren’t as pressing or have no deadline. This type of person makes it a habit to quickly figure out the critical tasks to put at the top of their list.

Busy people will always have something to do, but they might not do the most important things first. They will work on things that aren’t due yet or don’t have a deadline at all while letting pressing matters wait. This habit causes them to feel stressed out and like they can’t get everything finished.

2. They Plan

Once a productive person has figured out the essential tasks, they create a plan. They schedule their day and make plans around their deadlines, allowing for plenty of work time. If they have a non-work-related event coming up, they plan their tasks around that, allotting time off for themselves.

This type of person also plans things like taking the best route for quickly accomplishing more than one errand. They plan anything that they can that will save time or energy, and they even plan for unexpected setbacks. By thinking about things that might come up, they prevent getting behind when an obstacle occurs.

Busy people will make multiple trips for separate errands because they didn’t plan. They will miss out on fun experiences because they didn’t accomplish enough during their dedicated work time. Plus, they will often feel overwhelmed and forget what to do next.

3. They Are Efficient

Being efficient goes along with planning, in a way. Once a plan is in place, an efficient person will use their time wisely. They stick to their plan and do what they intended to each day without unnecessarily wavering. Plus, they make sure to utilize every opportunity put in their path.

If they know they have to go somewhere, they consider what else they can get done there, too. So, if a productive person is getting a vehicle repair, they will get an oil change at the same time.

They will also bring work with them while traveling if they have to ride for a while. The downtime of travel is a time for the person to brainstorm, take notes, or focus on any reading material they have been putting off.

Busy people don’t think about how they can use their time more efficiently. They won’t use downtime to get other important tasks done, and they don’t think ahead about minimizing trips. Because of this, they end up wasting time and causing unnecessary stress for themselves.

4. They Say No

Productive people understand that they must say no sometimes, and they don’t take on more than they can handle. This type of person knows what is important in their life, and if another task threatens to interfere, they won’t agree to do it. Knowing when to say no gives them the time and energy to focus on their projects.

Busy people, however, take on more than they can handle. They don’t say no to anything, causing overwhelming stress. Plus, they won’t be as focused as they should be, potentially ruining their efforts.

5. They Do One Thing At A Time

Rather than jumping from task to task, the most productive people focus on one thing at a time. They do this to ensure they don’t miss something by getting sidetracked or distracted. When they focus on one thing, it also helps them work faster as they won’t have to keep shifting their focus.

Busy people try to multitask and do many things at once, however. Multitasking isn’t beneficial, and studies show that it may cause poor results. Plus, constantly shifting your focus will cause everything to take longer.

6. They Do It Right The First Time

Efficient people do their best to do everything right the first time. It saves them time later as they won’t have to go back and fix things or redo them. They might take longer to get the task finished, but it saves them time in the end.

Busy people tend to rush through things to get it done quicker. Then, they have to go back and fix their mistakes later. Sometimes, they will even have to start all over again, resulting in more wasted time.

7. They Close The Door

When productive people have deadlines, they close their door. They do this as a signal to others not to disturb them, and it forces out distractions. When they do this, they can focus better and eliminate unnecessary interruptions.

Busy people enjoy interruptions, or at least they seem to welcome them by leaving their door open. They want to be a part of everything going on, even when that means their work takes longer. It disrupts their focus and can disrupt the quality of their work.

8. They Get The Job Done

Efficient people do whatever it takes to get things done. Once they set their mind to it, create a plan, and get started, they don’t stop until they are finished. Having this type of focus prevents procrastination and avoidance.

Busy people find any other task they can do before they sit down and focus on the big ones. They have excuses and waste time because the job seems too daunting. So, while they always have something to work on, they aren’t always getting things done.

9. Surround Themselves With Effective People

The people you spend your time around influence your mind more than you might initially realize. By surrounding themselves with other effective people, productive people can maintain their motivated mindset. This type of person wants people in their life that will encourage and inspire them.

On the other hand, busy people don’t pay attention to or care about the mindset of the people they spend their time around. If they are close to a slacker, they will begin to slack off, as well. They often give in to peer pressure, even when they know they should be working on something productive.

10. They Spend Their Time Wisely

Productive people understand that life isn’t all about work-related tasks or making money. They recognize the importance of being present for the people in your life. This acknowledgment allows them to let loose, forget about work, and enjoy their life regularly.

When they enjoy life, they learn to appreciate what they already have. Having a more positive mindset will further their productivity and lead to less stress in their lives. So, while it seems like productive people are sitting around having fun, they are actually preparing for their focused work time.

Busy people, however, often miss out on the joy in life because they aren’t spending their time wisely. Rather than being present and giving themselves a break from work-related thoughts, they continually do work-related tasks. This habit doesn’t allow them to get more work done, though, because it makes it harder to focus and be productive.

11. They Grow And Change

Change is part of life, and productive people don’t resist it. They adapt and grow based on the changes taking place in their lives. Forming new habits and letting go of old ones isn’t an issue for them, and they always continue moving forward.

Busy people hold onto the past as life changes, hindering their ability to grow. They resist change and struggle to develop new skills based on the changes. This mindset causes even the most basic tasks to be more difficult.

Final Thoughts on Habits That Differentiate Between Busy Vs Productive People

Differentiating between busy vs productive people is easy once you know the habits. If you notice that you do any of the things that busy people are guilty of, make it a point to implement new habits. There is always room for growth and development, so use this as your learning opportunity.

When people seem busy all of the time but aren’t productive, the problem lies in the habits of busy vs productive people. These habits are sure ways to recognize the difference.

3 Traits Every Trustworthy Person Has In Common

November 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The old saying, “Good people are hard to find these days,” is as true now as ever. When you can be whoever or whatever you want to be online, when you can meticulously assemble the perfect life in pictures on your profile, despite that it doesn’t accurately reflect anything about your life, then why be honest? Why be who you actually are when you can be anything you want? Highly polished dating profiles, resumes, and social media avatars are all masks meant to obfuscate who we really are because who we really are is boring and average, relatively speaking. There is so much misinformation out there that it is becoming increasingly hard to trust anything or anyone. How can you determine if someone you are with is trustworthy? You will know them by their habits.

Here are three habits of trustworthy people:

1. They Let Others See Their Warts

No, not those kinds of warts, but maybe they do. The thing is that they are more than their highlight reel on social media. They have opinions and are ready to defend them ,even if it is unpopular. They dress the way they like, even if it looks a little kooky or boring to everyone else. That’s because they are not afraid to be their true and authentic selves. They don’t hide their eccentricities from others; they revel in them. Someone who is not afraid to be vulnerable and open themselves to ridicule will probably tell you the truth. Even when it is uncomfortable for both of you.

Fake people are deathly afraid of the poor opinions of others and will lie or hide their failures from everyone. They present a false facade to the world. How can you trust someone when you don’t really know who they are and what they stand for? Someone who is honest and trustworthy doesn’t feel the need to hide their true selves from themselves or the rest of the world. Their warts and their scars make them who they are. They care more for their integrity and staying true to themselves than their image.

2. They Consistently Deliver On Promises

Trustworthy people do what they say they are going to do. They are dependable. If they make you a promise, they will move heaven and Earth to keep it, if at all possible. If they can’t deliver, they will let you know as soon as possible. It is rare that they cancel plans with you because they are honest about their time and commitments. If they can’t commit to something, they will say so right up front and tell you why. They are honest with themselves and don’t overpromise in the first place. They value their integrity and only promise when they know they will be able to carry through with that promise, barring any actual emergencies. They’re consistent because their time is valuable to them and they understand that your time is just as valuable to you. They don’t want to waste your time or theirs with overblown promises, even if that might benefit them in the long run.

3. They Do The Right Thing

People of honesty and integrity do the right thing, even when no one is looking. They have convictions, and they are willing to stand up for them. They’ll take stands even if the whole world is against them. They are honest about what they believe and why they believe it. They’re honest about the lengths to which they will go in order to honor those convictions. They do the right thing even if it is painful for them or someone they care about. They do it solely because it is the right thing to do to them. If they make a mistake, then they own up to it instead of trying to shift blame to someone or something else. They own their failures and learn from them. They do not hide their failures from others. Instead, they use them as a lesson not to make the same mistake in the future.

They don’t take advantage of those weaker than them. They don’t leverage your genuine emergency to enrich themselves. In fact, they donate to those in need or who are doing a critical job with little support. They work in charities and give freely to those less fortunate than themselves. They don’t do the right thing for praise or expect some reward.

10 Year Study Reveals What Happens To Your Body When You Drink Diet Soda Every Day

November 29, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Soft drinks are the beverage of choice for millions of Americans, but sugary drinks increase the risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and other chronic conditions. – Harvard University, T.H. Chan School of Public Health

When Harvard University publishes anything related to health, it warrants due attention. When the acclaimed University publishes that the health of millions is at-risk because of a product they consume nearly every day – sometimes, multiple times a day – it warrants extra due attention.

While this article does not predominantly draw from information obtained from Harvard studies, the fact that a world-class institution is sending out warnings to soda drinkers is a significant development. Indeed, they’ve done just that.

The findings that Harvard University, and a number of other academic institutions, scientists, researchers, public health experts, and the like have uncovered about soft drinks (i.e., soda, pop) are – quite literally – terrifying, and potentially very dangerous.

Consider these statistics about soda consumption:

– 1 in 5 Americans report drinking at least one soda a day (this number is likely higher)

– Average American drinks 50 gallons of soda per year – the equivalent of about 39 pounds of sugar

No problem…we’ll just switch to diet, right? This rhetorical question actually serves as a transition to this article: the adverse health effects of diet soda.

10 Year Study Reveals What Happens To Your Body When You Drink Diet Soda Every Day

According to a 10-year study conducted at the University of Iowa, consuming two or more diet sodas a day increases the risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke. The demographic for this study was otherwise-healthy, postmenopausal women. The findings were significant enough that they were presented at the prestigious American College of Cardiology’s annual meeting in Washington D.C.

The study focuses on the consumption of diet soda and the cardiovascular health of 60,000 women. After countless hours of research, scientists discovered that women who consume more than two diet soft drinks daily had a 30 percent higher chance of having a “cardiovascular event.” Perhaps more disturbingly, researchers concluded that women with this habit were 50 percent more likely to die from a cardiovascular-related illness or disease.

Dr. Ankur Vyas, lead researcher of the study and staff member at the University of Iowa (UI)Hospitals and Clinics states: “This is one of the largest studies on the topic, and our findings are consistent with some previous data, especially those linking diet drinks to the metabolic syndrome.”

Metabolic syndrome, as defined by WebMD, includes “a cluster of conditions – increased blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess body fat around the waste, and abnormal cholesterol or triglyceride levels…(occurring) together, an increased risk of heart disease, stroke and diabetes.”

In other words, consuming diet soda may cause anything from high blood pressure and weight gain, to a heart attack or stroke.

Anyways, this brief digression aside, UI researchers decided to divide the nearly 60,000 participants into four groups, based on soda consumption: two or more diet drinks daily, five to seven diet drinks per week, one to four diet drinks per week, and zero to three diet drinks per month. Individuals were placed into one of four groups based off of their self-reported, three-month consumption of diet beverages.

After a follow-up period of nearly 10 years, researchers correlated a number of conditions to increasing levels of soda consumption, including: increased risk of cardiovascular death, congestive heart failure, coronary heart disease, coronary revascularization procedure (surgery to increase blood flow to heart), heart attack, ischemic stroke (low blood supply to body tissues), and peripheral arterial disease (fatty deposits in arteries).

The methodology used to reach these conclusions appears foolproof. Researchers mitigated any and all demographical characteristics, including risk factors. Specifically, the team disregarded body mass index (BMI), diabetes, high cholesterol, hormone therapy use, hypertension, salt intake, and sugar-sweetened beverage consumption. Yet, the trends remained constant.

Other findings: women consuming 2+ diet drinks per day were more likely to be smokers; had higher BMI; higher blood pressure, and an increased risk of diabetes.

Given this study and many others, it may be concluded that soda – of any kind, sweetened or not – is a potential health hazard. These findings are even the more sobering when one considered just how ubiquitous the consumption of soft drinks really is.

People all over the world are choosing to minimize sugar intake, and for good reason…but what is the alternative? For years, diet soda has been marketed as a healthier, safer drink of choice and many people chose to place their faith in such guidance.

Perhaps David Wolfe, as controversial as he is, summarizes it best:

“Diet soda is one of the biggest marketing scams of all time…Soda manufacturers are charging more for a product that’s worse for you, all while convincing millions of Americans it’s a healthier option.”

References:
The University of Iowa. (2014, March 31). UI study finds diet drinks associated with heart trouble for older women. Retrieved November 18, 2016, from https://now.uiowa.edu/2014/03/ui-study-finds-diet-drinks-associated-heart-trouble-older-women
Soft Drinks and Disease. (2016). Retrieved November 18, 2016, from https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-drinks/soft-drinks-and-disease/
Wolfe, D. A. (2016). 10 Year Study Links Diet Soda To THESE Deadly Diseases! – David Avocado Wolfe – DavidWolfe.com. Retrieved November 18, 2016, from https://www.davidwolfe.com/10-year-study-links-diet-soda-deadly-diseases/

Psychologist Reveals Why Everyone Should Have A Bucket List

November 26, 2016 by Power of Positivity

“Bucket lists are helpful in that they’re a way of listening to your inner wisdom. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind, to-do lists, going to work and coming home, doing chores, and the like – you can lose sight of that inner compass.” – Dr. Shilagh Mirgain

Shilagh Mirgain is no ordinary athlete. Mirgain holds a PhD, and is an accomplished health psychologist at the University of Wisconsin (UW) School of Medicine and Public Health. According to her faculty profile on the UW website, Dr. Mirgain pursues clinical interests that span anxiety disorders; to sport psychology; to the treatment of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

She’s also exceptional in another way, having climbed the highest peak in Africa – Mount Kilimanjaro. The task was mountainous (pun intended), with Dr. Mirgain rigorously preparing for the journey over four years. First, beginning with basic jaunts in simple hiking boots; to working out every day; to simulating the rigorous hike with a weighted backpack.

Dr. Mirgain’s choice to add climbing the mountain to her bucket list came from a simple postcard. People she’d met that were climbing the mountain had sent it to her, and she kept it someplace visible, vowing to one day accomplish the same.

Much easier said, than done.

Mount Kilimanjaro is indeed a massive landmark, reaching a peak of 5,895 meters (about 19,340 feet): the tallest freestanding mountain in the entire world. According to many sources, only about 40 percent of those that try ever reach the summit of the mountain. About 10 people a year die trying.

So, how did Dr. Mirgain accomplish such an extraordinary feat? Well, she had a bucket list. No joke. “I keep pictures of my bucket list items on my refrigerator. When I complete something I take that photo down and put it on another board in my home, along with a photo of myself at that place,” says Dr. Mirgain, whose own bucket list focuses heavily on travel and adventure.

So, why should you have a bucket list?

According to Dr. Mirgain, bucket lists are especially useful for keeping goals at the forefront of our mind. As we all know, it is quite easy to be overwhelmed by the heavy sense of day-to-day responsibilities and obligations. A bucket list is a way of keeping us grounded.

In other words: a bucket list is a way of connecting people with something that is greater than themselves.

Many of us have a schedule that looks very similar: work, family, eat, sleep, repeat. Dr. Mirgain insists that keeping a bucket list helps us remember what is truly important regarding our own sense of self-fulfillment.

Sufficient anecdotal evidence exists supporting the link between bucket lists and goal achievement; however, it was not until only recently that research backs up this claim, as well. Perhaps more importantly, keeping a bucket list may also translate into a more fulfilling life.

It turns out that a bucket list, similar to many other “lists,” is effective for a couple of very important reasons:

First, a bucket list helps to increase motivation – an essential attribute for the accomplishment of a goal. The correlation between goals and motivation is so strong, that many psychologists include the words “goal” and “motivation” interchangeably when defining one or the other. For instance, Terence Mitchell – a prominent behavioral psychologist and prolific author – defines motivation as: “those psychological processes that cause the arousal, direction, and persistence of voluntary actions that are goal directed.”

Second, a bucket list increases achievement. Hundreds of studies have discovered a direct link between goal setting and achievement. These studies span goal-setting and academics; goal-setting and health; goal-setting and recreation (e.g. travel); goal-setting and money management…and so forth.

So, should you create a bucket list?

Well, of course, this is completely up to you. Perhaps you really enjoy living a spontaneous life, and see no need for “listing out” you wish to do. Perhaps you are a busy person that can see the immense benefit of keeping what’s important at the forefront of your mind.

These basic observations aside, science appears to support the notion that bucket listing is an effective activity; not only for the achievement of lifetime goals, but for the ultimate experience we all wish to have: a more fulfilling life.

25 Things Every Person Needs To Know Before Having Kids

November 26, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The struggle is real. You have no idea until you have a baby in your house full time. No amount of babysitting, classes or books can really prepare you. It is a trial by poop. Lots and lots of poop. Before you dive off into the deep end, you should know some things about having kids.

25 Things Every Person Needs To Know Before Having Kids

1. Every Kid Needs Something a Little Different

Every kid needs something a little different from you. Some need attention constantly and some need to be left alone. Your kid will let you know what they need in subtle and not so subtle ways.

2. Kids Develop At Their Own Pace

Potty training, talking, eating on their own – these are all things kids do, but every kid tackles them at different stages and takes a different amount of time to develop them. Hang in there and keep trying. They will get it eventually.

3. Lighten Up

Develop a sense of humor or cultivate the one you already have. You are going to need it. A sense of humor will keep you sane.

4. Sleep Deprivation Is Real

Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep is a figment of your imagination. Sleeping in? HA! Hasta la vista baby. Take a page from the military veterans and learn to sleep when you can, anywhere you can.

5. Kids Freak Out Over Literally Nothing

Kids will completely lose their sh*t over nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong. They just aren’t in control of their emotions.

6. Kids Push Boundaries

Tell them not to do something and they will smile and slowly do that very thing right in front of you to see what they can get away with. They will push the boundaries that you set for them. Stand firm. Kids need boundaries to keep them safe and to teach them what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.

7. Kids Want To Explore

Kids will get into everything. They are a miniature Houdini when they want to be. They want to explore and learn. Their developing brain is driving them to seek out new things. Be watchful, but indulge their learning whenever possible.

8. Buy Mac n Cheese

Buy the sh*t out of this stuff. It is like an addiction with them.

9. Keep Your Head On A Swivel

Develop your situational awareness. They will wander off or get into something when you get distracted from them. If it is quiet, then they are up to something.

10. Develop Your Patience

They are not adults and not completely in control of themselves. They will piss you off. Take a deep breath and let it go. Don’t respond to them in anger. Be firm but be in control of yourself. They will test your patience.

11. Embrace Repetition

Kids learn through repetition. They will repeat phrases, words, songs or actions. They will watch the same movie or show or listen to the same songs hundreds of times. You will have to repeat things for them until they get them.

12. Let Go Of Control

Set boundaries and then let them loose within those boundaries. Don’t try to control their every action or decision. They have their own agency. Let them figure out who they are within the limits of safety and decency.

13. Embrace Routine

Find a routine that works for you both and get used to it. Kids love routines and will flip out when those routines are changed. This is doubly true of kids with mental disabilities.

14. Don’t Manipulate With Rewards or Punishments

Bribery and threats only work for the very short term. Then, kids figure out how to work the system or get tired of the reward / punishment. Positive encouragement and known punishments for bad behavior work when applied consistently.

15. Be Mindful Of Your Words

They hear everything you say and will repeat it at the worst possible time.

16. Be Mindful Of Your Actions

They will mimic your behavior and tone. You have to lead by example.

17. You Are Not Their Buddy

If they are happy with you all of the time, then you are neglecting your duties. You are not their friend. You are their parent, and sometimes that means being the bad guy.

18. You Like Cartoons Right?

You will know every song and every line of dialogue. You will find yourself watching their shows when they are not around.

19. Manage Your Time Wisely

They have a routine and you have a job. You both have interests. You will need to find time for all of you to not only indulge your personal sports or hobbies, but also to spend time together.

20. Kids Are A Roller Coaster Ride

One minute they are happy as can be, and the next, it is the apocalypse, then back to being chipper. A kid’s emotional range is vast and they will swing back and forth. Roll with it. Enjoy the ride.

21. Cherish The Little Moments

Amid the dirty diapers and tantrums over nothing, there will be fleeting moments of pure joy. They will be burned into your memory. Cherish them.

22. Embrace The Chaos

You cannot control the wind. All you can do is adjust the sails. Don’t try to maintain rigid control over them or your life. Be flexible and learn to bend before you break.

23. Pick Your Battles

You can guide them in the general direction you want them to go, but they will color outside the lines. If you fight them on everything, they will rebel even more. Be firm on the important things and be flexible with everything else.

24. Be Firm and Consistent

Kids like structure and boundaries, as do the rest of us. Establish the rules and boundaries in your household and then apply those rules consistently and firmly.

25. Giving Up Is Not An Option

Walking away from your responsibilities is unacceptable. You signed up for life when you had them. There is no do-over. No matter how much they succeed or screw up, you are there for them, forever. It is a lifetime commitment. You bleed for them, you sacrifice for them, you teach them, you lead them and when necessary, you carry them. They are the culmination of millions of years of work and effort. You both are but torch bearers in a much longer journey.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Definition of Empathy

Raising Empathetic Children

1. Don’t suppress the child’s emotions

2. Emphasize and practice gratitude

3. Provide opportunities to practice empathy

4. Allow the child to see you vulnerable

5. Give names for feelings

6. Non-judgmentally acknowledge emotions

7. Ask about feelings hypothetically

8. Discuss other people’s feelings

9. Display empathetic behavior towards others

10. See the world through the child’s eyes

Source: Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.

Here are ten signs that your relationship is suffering from stress:

1. You don’t have any ‘me’ time

2. Intimacy and sex are increasingly rare

3. You/your partner are not listening to each other

4. You/your partner are not interested in communicating

5. You/your partner are spending more time with others than each other

6. You/your partner are spending much more time pursuing hobbies

7. You/your partner’s common habits begin annoying you more

8. You/your partner are drinking more frequently

9. You/your partner mention separation or divorce

10. You/your partner make excuses why you can’t “be there”

And here are 10 early warning signs of the common cold, and how you can prevent it:

1. Your energy levels are depleted.

2. Your throat begins to feel “scratchy.”

3. You’re blowing your nose more

4. Pressure in your sinuses

5. Your nose is a bit stuffed up

6. You’re coughing more

7. Your chest is kind of stuffed up

8. You feel super tired

9. Your sleep is disrupted

10. You just feel “off”

Sources: Donvito, T. (n.d.) Cold symptoms: Signs a Cold is Coming. Retrieved November 27, 2016 from http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/cold-symptoms/ Natural sleep aids and remedies. (2015, September 2). Retrieved November 27, 2016, from WebMD, http://www.webmd.com/women/natural-sleep-remedies#1

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The Problem with Material Wealth

The Power of Experience

Focus On Your Next Great Experience

Your Story is Based on Your Experiences, Not Your Things

Eleven Habits That Differentiate Between Busy Vs Productive People

1. They Prioritize

2. They Plan

3. They Are Efficient

4. They Say No

5. They Do One Thing At A Time

6. They Do It Right The First Time

7. They Close The Door

8. They Get The Job Done

9. Surround Themselves With Effective People

10. They Spend Their Time Wisely

11. They Grow And Change

Final Thoughts on Habits That Differentiate Between Busy Vs Productive People

Here are three habits of trustworthy people:

1. They Let Others See Their Warts

2. They Consistently Deliver On Promises

3. They Do The Right Thing

10 Year Study Reveals What Happens To Your Body When You Drink Diet Soda Every Day

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

So, why should you have a bucket list?

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

25 Things Every Person Needs To Know Before Having Kids

1. Every Kid Needs Something a Little Different

2. Kids Develop At Their Own Pace

3. Lighten Up

4. Sleep Deprivation Is Real

5. Kids Freak Out Over Literally Nothing

6. Kids Push Boundaries

7. Kids Want To Explore

8. Buy Mac n Cheese

9. Keep Your Head On A Swivel

10. Develop Your Patience

11. Embrace Repetition

12. Let Go Of Control

13. Embrace Routine

14. Don’t Manipulate With Rewards or Punishments

15. Be Mindful Of Your Words

16. Be Mindful Of Your Actions

Sources:
Donvito, T. (n.d.) Cold symptoms: Signs a Cold is Coming. Retrieved November 27, 2016 from http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/cold-symptoms/
Natural sleep aids and remedies. (2015, September 2). Retrieved November 27, 2016, from WebMD, http://www.webmd.com/women/natural-sleep-remedies#1