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Relationship Experts Explain What To Do When The One You Love Doesn’t Love You Back

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An unreciprocated love. Been there, done that, got a few too many T-shirts. Breathe calmly, take a healthy dose of chillaxapil and read on about how to handle when the one you love does not love you back, no matter whether your love interest is/was Kimmy or Jay.

There is a story earlier in the year that emanated from China where a guy declared his love for a girl with a huge sign and 999 pomelo fruits all carefully arranged into the shape of a heart. She declined his interest and just wanted to remain friends. So what happens when our love and admiration for a particular person is met with, at best, a lukewarm response? We wonder why and then do everything in our power to attempt to change their minds. However, you know in your heart of hearts that this will not change anything and you will likely only make matters worse for you. Yet, a romantic rejection is the worst because love is such a subjective matter and we place so much importance to our emotional state, even to the most hardened of men.

The painful feelings of unrequited love

Let us identify the feelings of rejection. Here is a basic list of them:

  • Sadness
  • Emotional distress
  • Inadequacy
  • Anger
  • Revenge

It is only natural to feel sad after rejection. According to relationship expert, Ellie Prior from Your Relationship Matters, “being very emotional “locks” your attention on all the negativity which is also not helpful to yourself.” Prior continues, “I have seen men and women reject the most beautiful/thoughtful/fantastic partners.” You were the one who invested in this crush on Kimmy/Jay. This will turn into emotional distress because you are wallowing in self-pity. Self-pity translates into feelings of being inadequate for this crush and possibly those in the future, therefore your inadequacy makes you angry and out to get revenge. What do you do when wanting to exact revenge on someone with whom you are angry in a romantic sense? You will get dressed to the nines in search of someone else by wanting to attract someone new.

What to do about rejection from Kimmy/Jay:

We all know the end goal is moving on and feeling better about yourself, ready for the next Kimmy or Jay. The question is, how do we get there?

secret love

Here’s how to handle it when the one you love doesn’t love you back:

“Yet but three come one more.
Two of both kinds make up four.
Ere she comes curst and sad.
Cupid is a knavish lad.
Thus to make poor females mad.”
– William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

1. Understanding rejection of your love

How can you understand someone rejecting you romantically? Even the very best suffered rejection at some point – watch the movie Casanova starring Heath Ledger and Sienna Miller to get an understanding, not only for the ones interested in Giacomo Casanova but also for the title character. The good news is that sometimes rejection is not always permanent or it is a case of one door closing and another (better one!) opening.

2. The power is in what way you react to it

We know that it is hard to swallow. You give the rejection so much power that it consumes you, eating away at your happiness. So what if you made a dog’s dinner of your approach? Do not rub salt in your own wounds and whine about it! You have to be as keen as mustard to taste all of life’s flavors, so it is in your best interests to cook up a real storm in your life. So take a cookery class, have some friends over for a few beers or glasses of wine, go to your favorite restaurant and order the most expensive meal on the menu, treat yourself to that thing you have had your eye on for ages. Once you see that life is not all sour, you will be sweet.

3. The learning curve of love

Although this is counter-intuitive, one of the ways to objectively view a lack of reciprocated love is to learn from it. Look at how you were acting around your person of interest. What would you have done differently? How can this painful experience help you grow? Remaining calm and doing this will help you in the future so that you will either be happy or be in a better place if another rejection is forthcoming.

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4. Rejection means you are living your life

Walt Disney had no imagination, the Beatles would never make it in music, Albert Einstein would never amount to much. We have all seen the meme. Know this; rejection is a part of life and it will happen from time to time. It is up to you to keep searching within you, to never be discouraged from living your life to the fullest. Keep going; there is always someone who will appreciate you.

5. The only approval worthy of your time is your own

Most people look externally for this. Thankfully, the only person from whom you need acceptance is yourself. This will always overcome the pain of romantic rejection and fear thereof. Remember that self-love has a certain magnetic power attached to it like a magnet. Take a leaf out of Whitney Houston’s book as she sings Greatest Love of All. “Because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all.”

Imagine a beautiful flower in a garden and a child rips the flower off its stem, the part that has been ripped off eventually dies and the child is long gone, yet the stem does the only thing it knows how: grow another beautiful flower. It achieves that feat thanks to its roots. In this scenario, you are the stem, the child portrays the one who rejected you, and the flower is the love that you have for someone.

There is one thing for sure: there is absolutely no rejection here. We love you, no matter what!

References:
Chen M. & Chen D., Man Rejected by “Dream Girl” After Confessing His Love with 999 Pomelos Double Chen News, YouTube video.
Prior E., Feeling rejected because of your partner’s infidelity? Your Relationship Matters
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Types of Pain That Are Directly Linked To Your Emotions

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A quick note before we discuss the types of pain. It is extremely important that any severe physical symptoms must be attended to by a licensed medical professional, such as a physician.

If there is a mental aspect to virtually every type of disease, isn’t it then rational to assume there is a mental aspect to virtually every type of physical pain? The simple truth is that mental states affect physical states and vice-versa.

Traditional medicine has labeled this the psychosomatic effect. Interestingly, the specialty of psychosomatic medicine is the latest sub-specialty in psychiatry to become board-certified. Board-certified physicians comprise the “best of the best” in 24 different medical specializations (e.g., neurology, dermatology, psychiatry, etc.) As necessary, these medical specialties are universally recognized by the medical and scientific communities as vital to public health.

Indeed, pain can be caused by emotional and mental states. In science, it has been demonstrated that both mental or emotional and physical pain activates the same areas of the brain: the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex. So – a physiological connection between brain and body exists as well.

Here we are going to discuss ten different types of pain that are directly linked to feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Equipped with this knowledge, one can begin to make whatever adjustments necessary to feel better (we’ll also provide some recommendations).

“Psychosomatic means mind (psyche) and body (soma). A psychosomatic disorder is a disease which involves both mind and body. Some physical diseases are thought to be particularly prone to be made worse by mental factors such as stress and anxiety.”   –patient.info

Here are ten types of pain due to feelings, thoughts, or emotions

pain

1. Back pain

Areas of the back and shoulders are arguably where we feel muscle tension the most. For years, chiropractors, osteopaths, and other medical professionals have been explaining the stress/anxiety connection between back pain and mental/emotional health.

Making matters worse, this type of pain is cyclical. We begin to stress and worry about back pain, which tenses back the muscles; the muscles tense, and then we feel things like frustration and anger.

2. Headaches and migraines

Dr. Christina Peterson, a board-certified physician, writes: “Stress comes in many varieties, including time stress, emotional stress, and the stress of physical fatigue…and (these) emotions pack a wallop for the migraine sufferer.” Furthermore, emotions like anger, anxiety, crying/sadness, and depression trigger headache pains.

The good doctors recommend practicing relaxation techniques, meditation, and seeking a counselor’s help if this pain doesn’t subside.

3. Neck pain

The buildup of emotions, specifically negative emotions, can affect virtually every body area. According to Calm Clinic, neck pain is one of the most common complaints of people suffering from anxiety-related disorders.

Of course, it is nearly impossible to explain every one of the multitudes of ways that anxiety can manifest. Financial problems/worries, relationship problems, sadness, fatigue, etc.

4. Shoulder pain

Many kinesiologists believe that our shoulders are the area of the body most prone to feeling the adverse effects from pressure. Ever wonder where the axiom “Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders” comes from?

Us too. But it turns out there is a whole lot of truth to it.

5. Stomach aches and cramps

Our poor stomach is where we house most of our worries, fears, and anxieties. Experiencing these emotions repeatedly, without surprise, can cause stomach aches and pains. In fact, as it turns out, chronic stress can develop into stomach ulcers.

6. Elbow pain and/or stiffness

Dr. Alan Fogel, in a piece published by Psychology Today, writes, “All emotions have a motor component.” The elbow is no different. While medical conditions such as arthritis and others may be the reason for pain or stiffness; mental states such as anxiety and depression can also manifest in strange areas…including the elbows.

7. Pain in hands

Similar to the elbows, pain in the hands can arise from legitimate medical conditions. In fact, some even say that hand pain may result from feelings of isolation or confinement. As Dr. Fogel said, every one of our emotions manifests into a physical symptom…so, anything is possible, right?

8. Hip pain

Besides a documental medical condition, some type of emotional trigger is almost assuredly the cause of hip pain. The human body has more nerve connections in the hip than we would think; so distress can manifest into physical pain in this area as well.

9. Knee pain

The rationale given for knee pain experienced from emotions is pretty much the same as that given for hip discomfort. Of course, there are many nerve endings in the knee; hence, more of a brain/body connection. As such, it is perhaps more likely that emotional triggers such as anxiety, fear, depression, etc. will manifest into knee pain than other, less sensitive areas, such as the hip.

be kind

10. Foot pain

Here’s what one podiatrist says about the relationship between mental/emotional states and foot pain: “Stressed people present with a wide range of biomechanical issues. I am not trying to be a guru…but I am convinced there is an anecdotal connection between lower limb and foot presentation and their emotional status.”

Experts at Columbia University admitted that “there’s some evidence that there are psychological conditions that may be associated with physical symptoms” and that treating the real cause of the pain may be the answer.

Related article: This Simple Mind-Body Exercise Reduces Negative Thoughts and Improves Health

After investigating the physical pain or stress, it’s worthwhile to do the same with any emotional state(s). What are you feeling?

Relaxation techniques (e.g. progressive muscle relaxation), controlled breathing, meditation, guided imagery, and many other techniques and practices exist to help people who are experiencing both physical and/or emotional pain.

8 Signs Someone Is Suffering From Anorexia

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If you or anyone you know suffers from an eating disorder, then you know the mental, emotional, and physical scars that accompany it. While anorexia might seem like a physical disease, it all begins in the mind and slowly breaks down the body. Anorexia is not a choice, a lifestyle, or a trend. It is a serious, potentially life-threatening illness that requires treatment of some form.

Sadly, a review of nearly fifty years of research confirms that anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any mental disorder. Furthermore, this mortality rate is twelve times higher than the death rate of all other causes of death for females between the ages of fifteen to twenty-four years old. 

While research is ongoing regarding the causes of anorexia, researchers believe it occurs from a combination of genetics, stressful life events, personality traits such as low self-esteem and perfectionism, extreme dieting that can cause changes to the brain’s chemistry, and societal and personal pressure to stay thin.

Anorexia is not something to be taken lightly. If you or anyone you know suffers from anorexia, please seek professional help. Your life matters, and you don’t have to allow an illness to rule your life any longer.

The following list is not exhaustive, but these are the main signs you need to look out for in yourself and others who might be suffering from anorexia.

8 Warning Signs of Anorexia to Never Ignore

1. Weight loss

This is probably the most obvious sign of anorexia. While it is a mental illness, anorexia is most easily characterized and recognized by excessive weight loss and self-starvation. In the mind of someone who suffers from anorexia, they are overweight and the only way to lose excess weight is to starve themselves. They see no other option as a viable one and restrict calories to sometimes nothing in order to have a sense of control.

If you notice extreme weight loss in yourself or someone you know, seek professional help immediately. Do not wait, because every second matters when it comes to someone suffering from anorexia.

2. Excessive exercise

People who suffer from anorexia almost always have an exercise routine, but it easily becomes an obsession. They feel that they must work out for hours on end at times in order to burn all the calories they’ve consumed throughout the day, and then some. It’s a constant battle between food, exercise, and body image, and for people suffering from anorexia, they see no end in sight. Every day is a struggle and a game of numbers.

3. Very poor body image

Another key sign of anorexia that we briefly mentioned above is a distorted body image. People with anorexia look in the mirror and see an overweight person, when in reality, the person staring back at them is barely alive. However, even when everyone else sees a thin person standing before them, an anorexic person will see the opposite.

They never feel good enough in their own skin, no matter how thin they become, and put great pressure on themselves to keep excess weight off.

4. Obsession with counting calories

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with counting calories if you do it with a healthy mindset. However, it becomes a problem when your whole life becomes a number’s game. When you can’t consume any food or drink without logging it in a calorie counting app and comparing it with how many calories you’ve burned so far. When you find yourself fearing food and mealtimes instead of looking forward to them.

People suffering from anorexia cannot consume anything without logging the calories somewhere, because in their mind, calories are the only thing they can truly control and restrict.

5. Frequent chest pains

Chest pains associated with anorexia are fairly common. According to a cross-sectional survey of 54 patients, 87% of people who suffer from anorexia experience chest pains. These can be caused by a number of factors, including, but not limited to, congestive heart failure, arrhythmia, GERD, anxiety, an abnormal heart beat, or other complications with the cardiac, gastrointestinal, or pulmonary systems. The root cause of chest pain is often due to low potassium levels, as potassium helps the heart beat at a normal rhythm and keep electrolytes balanced.

If you experience regular chest pain, please get it checked with a professional immediately.

6. Digestive issues

When you starve the body of nutrients for a prolonged period of time, digestive issues can happen quite easily. IBS, GERD, bloating, constipation, and other major digestive problems are common in people with anorexia.

7. Hair loss

Another major sign of anorexia is significant hair loss. Every part of the body requires nutrients, including the hair, so hair loss ensues when the body doesn’t get the nutrition it needs. Protein stores become depleted in a state of malnutrition, and the body uses this protein for the most essential functions only. Since hair isn’t essential to our body’s functioning, it’s one of the first things to go when the body is in a malnourished state.

Related article: 5 Reasons to Stop Bodyshaming

8. Isolation/withdrawal

This might not be a direct sign of anorexia, but it’s certainly a red flag. People with eating disorders often don’t like to eat socially, as they want to avoid any questions from others about their eating habits. Not to mention, those with anorexia also tend to suffer from some other mental disorder such as anxiety and depression, which are characterized by isolation and withdrawal. People with anorexia might hide away due to lack of energy as well. More often than not, however, the main reason for isolation is to avoid eating in front of others, as everything dealing with food is stressful and fear-inducing for those suffering from anorexia.

We cannot stress enough that if you or someone you know is suffering from anorexia or any other eating disorder, you should get professional help immediately. Anorexia CAN be treated, but the first step is to admit to needing help. If you need immediate assistance, please call the National Eating Disorders Association(NEDA) hotline at this number: 1-800-931-2237. 

Psychologists Explain How To Stop Gossip Immediately

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“Spreading a malicious rumor doesn’t just hurt the subject of the gossip, but it makes the person gossiping look bad in a rude and immature way.” – Sharon Schweitzer, CEO and founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide

Gossip, as defined by Wikipedia, is “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; the act of which is also known as dishing or tattling.”

Idle talk. Rumor. About private lives. Who enjoys what is so obviously a vile and worthless act? Well, apparently many of our fellow humans do. Many of the same people that are all-too-willing to pontificate about superior intelligence and all that. And make no mistake, gossip is worthless and it is vile. It’s worthless in that it accomplishes nothing and vile in that such behavior is abominable.

So…why do we gossip?

Despite this, many of us engage in and even encourage the act. The latter is evident mostly through the much of the media produced, and what many people choose to consume. Think about all of the mindless television (e.g. ‘The Bachelor/Bachelorette,’ ‘The Kardashians,’ etc.) that emphasizes gossip to attract viewership. Relatedly, we have “news” outlets like TMZ that feast off the public’s insatiable desire to get the “latest scoop” on (often false and derogatory) information that has absolutely nothing to do their own lives.

Granted, the instinct to gossip can be tempting. This is especially true if there is some sort of individual vendetta against someone else. Additionally, a typical and neutral conversation about someone can quickly become a gossip session if someone within a group decides to interject with some “juicy tidbit” about another. While it can be tempting to take part in such a “discussion,” it is often a bad idea.

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“Guilt by association” is a particularly relevant phase in such a scenario. Perhaps some of us can relate to having “known” about someone or something when we had such knowledge. How did this feel? Probably not very good.

In any case, people who gossip often do not feel good about themselves. For example, some gossipers feel unwanted or uninteresting and may choose to divulge something that can arouse interest. In doing so, these people may feel a sense of acceptance and comradery. Such people often have one of two feelings: either relief at being accepted or remorse for having hurt someone else. Unfortunately, it is all-too-often the former.

The psychology behind gossip

As with many other social trends, psychologists have studied various aspects of gossip. One such trend that’s been studied is the harm that the act does to both the gossiper and the person being victimized (yes, it is considered victimization within many psychological circles). Gossip, as it turns out, is a very common act: “About 60 percent of conversations between adults are about someone who isn’t present,” says one prominent social psychologist. “And most of these (conversations) are passing judgment.”

60 percent? Why such a high number?

The reason that psychologists give is that gossip helps to build social bonds. The reason? Because the dislikes shared between groups of people are more powerful for human bonding than shared likes and other positive information. People engaging in gossip often feel a shared sense of humor, mutual interests; not to mention a certain “thrill” achieved through divulging “confidential information” (i.e. the “bad stuff” about someone else).

Many gossipers revel in the failings of others, and some take pleasure in the misfortunes of other people – even if such pleasure is warrantless at best, and devious at worst.

Psychologists Reveal The ONE Phrase To Stop Gossip Immediately

When someone is trying to involve you in an offensive diatribe relating to someone else, the best thing to ask is: Why are you telling me this?

Psychologists say that this is effective for a couple of reasons. First, the question immediately disrupts any self-serving motive from the gossiper. Second, the phrase forces them to face the fact that you’re probably none-too-happy about being involved.

Almost every time, the person initiating the gossip will be taken aback by the question. Almost every time, they will not have a good excuse as to why they are including you in the conversation. Based upon their response it’s much easier to simply state: “I don’t wish to be involved,” or “You should discuss this with him/her personally.”

This effective response aside, social psychologists and other experts share one simple pearl of wisdom: refrain from starting any dialogue that about a person that they would likely be hurt by – emotionally or otherwise.

References:
Laliberte, M. (2016). How to Stop Gossiping: Use This Magic Phrase | Reader’s Digest. Retrieved December 07, 2016, from http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/stop-gossiping/
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

7 Lakota Sioux Laws That Will Change Your Life

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All eyes have been on the thousands of people gathered at the Standing Rock Indian Reservation. The Native Americans and thousands of other supporters that have come from all over the world have been standing strong against the oil companies that want to see the pipeline through. After weeks of the Lakota people peacefully protesting in bitterly cold temperatures and brutal attacks from the police force, a miraculous turn of events took place.

The Army Corps of Engineers denied a permit that would grant Energy Transfer Partners, the company in charge of the pipeline, permission to build it underneath Lake Oahe, which supplies water to the reservation. The pipeline would sit just a half-mile upstream from the reservation’s boundary, and if a spill should happen, it would contaminate the drinking water for thousands of people. Because of the cultural and environmental sensitivity present, the Army Corps of Engineers will prepare an Environmental Impact Statement to discuss alternative routes for the pipeline.

This is a huge victory for not only the Native Americans whose land, water, and very way of life were in jeopardy, but for the water protectors who stood in solidarity with them, as well as for our Mother Earth.

The Native Americans view all life as sacred, and we can continue to learn from them as we all work to heal the Earth together. We’ve listed seven values from the Lakota Sioux tribe that are central to their teachings, ceremonies, and beliefs, and we hope you can take something away from these valuable lessons.

The 7 Great Lakota Sioux Laws That Will Change Your Life

1. Prayer

Spirituality is a core component of life for the Lakota people. They believe Mother Earth is sacred, and so they honor and respect her greatly. They give thanks to the Creator daily through living consciously and also by praying to the Great Spirit. The Lakota people believe that the land doesn’t belong to us, but rather that we belong to the land. As such, they recite daily prayers of thanks to Mother Earth and Great Spirit for all they continue to bless us with and for the great privilege and honor of life.

2. Respect

Another central teaching to the Lakota people, they believe in honoring and respecting all life. The dragonfly is as sacred as the water, as the same force and energy run through all things on Earth. The Lakota people believe in helping others and preserving the Earth and the ways of the sacred as much as possible. They believe in peace, equality, and justice, and respecting all of our brothers and sisters, regardless of skin color or nationality.

3. Compassion

We all come from the Earth, so why treat any person or being with disrespect and lack of empathy? We all come from the same source, and the Lakota believe in treating everyone how you would want them to treat you. Care for others as you would yourself, because we’re all part of this circle of life. Compassion is important to the Lakota people, as they all work together and lean on one another for support and survival.

4. Honesty

Important to all Native American tribes, honesty is integral to their way of life. The Lakota work together as a people, and the system would not function if dishonesty prevailed. They teach their young to live a righteous path, and not lie to themselves or others.

5. Generosity

In this world today, we have greatly lost our sense of giving and generosity. We have the general mindset of “How will this benefit me?” or “What can I get out of this?” However, the Lakota people recognize that to give is to keep the Earth in balance, for we cannot just take, take, take and expect the planet to remain in alignment. They teach to give as much as you can, and to help your fellow brothers and sisters if they need assistance. Care for others like family, and only take what you need.

6. Humility

Another value this world could use much more, the Lakota live humbly and simply. They don’t believe in bragging or embellishing. They live according to the laws of nature, and nature never needs to overcompensate for anything. She just exists in her perfect harmony, without needing to show off or gain acceptance from anyone or anything. The Lakota believe in strength of character and honor, and both of these require great humility.

lakota

7. Wisdom

Finally, the Lakota value ancient wisdom and knowledge from sacred ways of life. They look back on the teachings of their ancestors and the great chiefs and leaders within their tribe in order to find the answers. Most importantly, they believe in the wisdom provided from the Great Spirit and Mother Earth, and never stray from the knowledge that this subtle energy imparts on them.

So, now that you know more about the teachings of the Lakota, we hope that you will take some of these important lessons into your own life. As a collective, we carry the responsibility of protecting and honoring our sacred Mother Earth. She’s everything, for she gives us life, nourishment, and comfort. Without her, we wouldn’t survive, and we can all do better to truly protect her. She’s counting on us now more than ever to take a stand and make a change.

Will you rise with the coming tides, or allow them to carry you out to sea? The choice is yours, but the victory at Standing Rock is only the beginning of a very long battle. We all must stand and work together if we want to make lasting changes for ourselves and future generations.

Wait For The One Who Truly Cares About Your Day…

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In this day and age where we barely have time for each other anymore, finding someone who will make you a priority can feel like searching vast oceans for a long lost treasure. However, you don’t want to keep settling for less than you truly deserve, because that surely didn’t bring you happiness in the past. Sometimes, to get what we really want in life, we have to exercise a little patience along with a dose of positivity.

Not everyone we meet will rise with us along our own personal journey, and not every single person we have our eye on will work out romantically. Life is about trial and error, and keeping an open heart so that the right person can make a home there. You deserve the love you’ve been waiting on, so don’t settle. Not for something as meaningful and powerful as love, anyway.

Wait For The One Who Truly Cares About Your Day…

The one who will stay up late talking to you, even if they have to get up early for work or school. Because in their eyes, losing a little sleep sometimes is totally worth getting to listen to your voice and hear your thoughts.

The one who wants to know every little detail of your day, even the “boring” parts. The mundane parts of your day seem interesting to them, because they just want to know everything about you and your life. They want to take on your burdens with you, celebrate your accomplishments, and laugh about your crazy, hectic, stressful day with you. They just love hearing you talk, no matter what you have to say.

The one who will always text you “good morning” or “goodnight,” because you’re the first and last thing they think about each day. It might seem over-the-top or “mushy” to some, but to you, it’s a sweet and very necessary gesture. It means you have someone who will take a few seconds out of their day to check on you and let you know you haven’t been forgotten.

The one who asks you questions about your day, because they’re genuinely interested to know about it. They really want to know about your life and how every aspect of your day went; it doesn’t matter if you went skydiving or looked at rocks in Geology class. If it happened to you, they want to hear about it.

The one who calls you just to check up on you. These days, everyone goes through something almost daily. It’s a challenge just to get up sometimes, and by the end of the day, we have so much built up within us that it feels so comforting just to have someone to listen to our thoughts and frustrations. They get it, and they want to help you through anything you might face.

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The one who would drive for hours just to see you. Sometimes, you need to see each other in person, because a chat on the phone just doesn’t compare to the real thing. They totally agree, and don’t mind driving long distances occasionally, especially if you really need someone to talk to.

The one who would do anything just to cheer you up and see you smile. The one who truly cares about your day would go to great lengths just to make you happy, and they wouldn’t see this as a sacrifice or chore. They care about your well-being and mental health, and want to contribute positively to both of them.

The one who doesn’t expect anything in return. The one who truly cares about you will not have any expectations. He or she doesn’t want flowers, roses, money, time, a relationship, or anything in return for the kindness they show you. They just want to provide you with companionship and support, simply because they care.

Wait for someone who shows at least some of these behaviors, because this likely means that their actions and words are genuine. Wait for someone who listens wholeheartedly to what you have to say, not someone who you have to beg for attention. You deserve better, and you can only get what you want if you stop settling for less.

Powerful Advice From A Dying 24 Year Old

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Most of us go through our days on autopilot, not really living, but merely existing. We have so much outwardly, but feel so empty and lost on the inside. We allow our minds to keep us up late at night, mulling over things that don’t really matter in the end, such as bills, money, what others think of us, etc.

Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Of course, none of us truly knows the answers and what happens to us after this life, and we’ve all been thrown into the same boat. How we navigate this life, however, and the choices we make along the way, define our character and existence. Our experiences and choices shape us, but many of us spend our lives locked into commitments chasing money and power and stability instead of digging deep within us.

We count down the hours on the clock until we can go home for the day, rest, and do it all again the next day. We run around all chasing something, and wake up one day wondering why we even chased it. It may not matter to you now what you do with each day of your life, but maybe this advice from a dying 24-year-old will give you a wake up call.

He posted his story on a Reddit thread, and ever since, it’s gone viral. We hope you will take some wisdom away from this young man, and realize that we only have a short time on this planet. We may as well make the most of it, and love and live as authentically as we possibly can before our time is up.

Read on for the letter, and share it far and wide if you feel inclined to do so.

Powerful Advice From A Dying 24 Year Old

“I am only 24 years old, yet I have actually already chosen my last tie. It’s the one that I will wear on my funeral a few months from now. It may not match my suit, but I think it’s perfect for the occasion.

The cancer diagnosis came too late to give me at least a tenuous hope for a long life, but I realized that the most important thing about death is to ensure that you leave this world a little better than it was before you existed with your contributions . The way I’ve lived my life so far, my existence or more precisely the loss of it, will not matter because I have lived without doing anything impactful.

Before, there were so many things that occupied my mind. When I learned how much time I had left, however, it became clear which things are really important. So, I am writing to you for a selfish reason. I want to give meaning to my life by sharing with you what I have realized:

– Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy. It is obvious that you cannot succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come easily only when you love what you do.

– It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions. Fear weakens and paralyzes you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a shell of yourself. Listen to your inner voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but some may even think you‘re a legend.

– Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier life. Find a sport that makes you happy. Most of all, don’t procrastinate. Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t.

– Appreciate the people around you. Your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love. That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I’m not upset because I understand that the last days of my life have become meaningful. I only regret that I will not be able to see a lot of cool stuff that should happen soon like the creation of AI, or Elon Musk’s next awesome project. I also hope that the war in Syria and Ukraine will end soon.

We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box – a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in this box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe that we all have potential, but it also takes a lot of courage to realize it.

You can float through a life created by circumstances, missing day after day, hour after hour. Or, you can fight for what you believe in and write the great story of your life. I hope you will make the right choice.

Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. So, enjoy your time here with passion. Make it interesting. Make it count!

Thank you!”

Related article: 7 Reasons Why It’s Never Too Late In Life

References: https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2xc947/text_soon_i_will_be_gone_forever_but_thats_okay/?st=iwl4mslq&sh=e96a6722
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How to Flush Pounds of Waste From Your Intestines With Just Two Ingredients

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Yikes, you have intestinal problems. Of course, you want to sort this out pronto. This will provide you with a natural remedy for the likes of diarrhea, constipation, excessive flatulence, cramping, irregular bowel movements, low energy, and a weakened immune system.

We could tell you that this recipe is absolutely amazing, how well it works, and generally become selling agents for it by pointing out its undoubted benefits. However, we are a “proof of the pudding” website, so you need to try it out for yourself to see how it works FOR YOU.

Without further ado, here are the ingredients.

This Two Ingredient Remedy Can Flush POUNDS of Waste From Your Intestines

Ingredient #1 – Kefir

Pronounced “ke-feer”, this is described by the website that bares its name as having a “tart and refreshing flavor similar to a drinking-style yogurt, but it contains beneficial yeast as well as friendly ‘probiotic’ bacteria found in yogurt.” It goes on with its explanation, “For the lactose intolerant, kefir’s abundance of beneficial yeast and bacteria provide lactase, an enzyme which consumes most of the lactose left after the culturing process.” It can be made up of the milk from the following sources: cow, goat, sheep, coconut, soy, or rice.

The kefir “grains” are a white or yellow jelly-like substance, making this ingredient unique, being the only milk culture to do this. It takes the shape of small coliflowers and some can grow in flat sheets the same size as a hand. The said grains ferment the milk and then are strained out.

care for your body

Ingredient #2 – Flaxseed

Looking like sesame seeds, only brown, the flaxseed has an array of health properties. They are anti-bacterial, anti-viral, anti-fungal, an antioxidant, skin-regenerative, and cardio-protective, and that is perfect for your large intestine.

According to Dr. Axe, if you take two tablespoons of flax, it is the equivalent of five grams of fibre, one quarter of the recommended daily allowance. It provides nutrients for the healthy bacteria in your gut so that it can aid your colon in cleansing properly.

***Note: If your body is not used to fermented products, it is highly recommended to start small and work your way up, but NOT to do it every day, as your body needs a break every now and then. However, keep going with it for two-three weeks for a cumulative effect.

Here is the recipe:

1 tablespoon of ground flaxseed mixed with about a quarter or third glass of kefir before breakfast and then again before bed (some people find it helps to first try kefir with meals, such as a little amount with breakfast). Drink at least eight glasses of water per day as well.

Do it for a week or so and then skip for few days here and there to give your body a break. You can use it as an ongoing maintenance or do it periodically.

https://youtu.be/yG-G9_LOkLA

Bibliography:
Author unknown, What is Kefir?
http://www.kefir.net/what-is-kefir/
Author unknown, 10 Flax Seed Benefits and Nutrition Facts
Dr. Axe https://draxe.com/10-flax-seed-benefits-nutrition-facts/
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs Your Relationship Will Make It Through The Holidays

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The holidays can be rough on everyone. Your routine is disrupted. Money is tight from travel expenses to presents. Travel itself can be extremely stressful with flight delays and cancellations, traffic jams and booked hotels. Then, there are the relatives you only see once or twice a year. Spending time with your own relatives and introducing a new partner can be fraught with embarrassing stories and heated family discussions. Then, there is meeting and spending time with your partner’s relatives.

It is like moving through a social minefield. The holidays can put an abnormal amount of stress on a relationship, especially when they are new and you and your partner are still figuring some things out. So, how can you tell if your relationship can make it through this minefield without blowing up in your face?

Your relationship will make it through the holidays if…

You Both Roll With It

Don’t resist the kookiness of your family or get upset when they embarrass you. Roll with it. Don’t take yourself so seriously. If you can absorb the slings and arrows of your family’s outrageous behavior, it will keep things light and funny rather than tense and awkward for your partner. They don’t know your family and will take their social cues from you. If you get upset, then they will get upset and possibly poison the well for years to come. If you and your family fight and show your butt to each other, it may send a message that this is the way you will act in your potential future family with your partner. If you and your family make it awkward or tense for your partner, they may decide that it isn’t the kind of family they want to be a part of. Keep things light and avoid intense topics like religion, politics and family drama.

You Embrace the Chaos

Holidays are chaotic and things will go wrong. There will be travel delays. There will be snafus and mistakes on all sides. You will forget things. Don’t let these things upset you or ruin the enjoyment you and your partner have together. If you are a giant ball of seething anger and frustration for the entire trip, then your partner may decide that you two are not compatible. Don’t let things get to you and keep your emotions in check. Don’t try to control everything. Be calm. Look on the bright side of things even when they go wrong; and they will go wrong, so prepare yourself.

You Stand Back-to-Back

Your families are going to stress you out, along with the travel and money. Don’t take out the stress of the holidays on each other. It is easy to lash out in frustration at the closest person to you precisely because of their proximity. Resist the urge. Protect each other from your family and their specific issues. If you want to survive as a couple, then you have to have each others’ backs. Be your partner’s defender if your family is too judgmental, or ritual hazing gets a little too intense. If you join in the fun and games at your partner’s expense, then you just ended your relationship. This can be a make-or-break moment. Choose wisely.

You Remember Why You Love Each Other

Sometimes, we spend the holidays with people we have been in a relationship with for just a short time. During the holidays, we get a chance to see our partners without rose-colored glasses. The family will bring up your partner’s warts and shove them in your face. How you deal with this microscopic inspection of your partner and your relationship will determine if you want to continue seeing each other after the holidays.

You Get Prepared For Lots of Questions

There will be close scrutiny of your relationship from relatives and friends. This can be a lot of strain on a new relationship. Hell, it can be a lot of strain on an old relationship. Be prepared with your responses to common questions about how you met, where do you see yourself in the future, what kind of work you do and where you went to school. At times, it will feel like an interrogation by a foreign intelligence service. They will compare notes, and if they catch you out on something, then your relationship could be doomed. Be patient and be honest.

Related article: 5 Secrets to Creating A Great Relationship

Take it all in stride and stick together as a team. Set boundaries with your respective families and enforce them. If necessary, duck out for a few minutes, or hours, of alone time so you two can spend time away from the chaos and catch your breath.

References:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/197171-7-signs-youre-headed-for-a-holiday-breakup-because-it-can-be-a-make-or-break
http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20412109,00.html
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
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