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7 Reasons Why Single People Are Happier Alone

June 21, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

The world has long sold us the idea that relationships are what make us happy. But there are single people across the planet thriving and living a lifestyle of independence, without a partner. The concept that you need someone else to make you happy and whole is far from true, and it’s even a little harmful to perpetuate.

But are single people that happy? How and why? And if you’ve been considering being single or are trying to enjoy it, maybe you want to know if happiness is possible without a partner. We’re pleased to inform you that it very much is! Here are seven reasons single people are happy alone and won’t apologize for it!

1. They Have More Freedom To Make Decisions

Healthy relationships allow for compromise and win-win situations, but the fact remains that the most decision-making freedom lies in singlehood. Single people have an independence that lets them make any choices they desire without worrying excessively about others.

Naturally, there are exceptions to this rule, but you’ll always have more freedom in this sector as a single person. Single people enjoy greater independence for the following reasons:

· They Make All Their Plans

When you’re in a committed relationship, especially a cohabiting one, most of your plans will involve the other party somehow. This means you don’t have as much freedom to be spontaneous and consider how your actions will affect your partner living with you.

· They Can Hang Out With Anyone Freely

Yes, a good relationship won’t prevent you from seeing most of the people you care about. But you can’t deny the elements of jealousy, discomfort, and boundaries that come into play in a relationship. Being single means that you get to mingle with anyone you want.

· Big Life Decisions Are All Theirs

A successful relationship requires that all partners be willing to discuss profound life changes before going forward. This can involve a fair amount of sacrifice and compromise. Single people don’t need to worry about this as much. Their decisions are thoroughly their own.

2. Single People Have Time For Restorative Solitude

Restorative solitude is the act of recharging alone. This can be done in many ways, including but not limited to:

Engaging in personal hobbies
Doing a self-care ritual
Spending time curled up in bed
Catching up on a series
Playing a video game
Going out to a nice meal or to a movie alone
Meditating in a calm environment by yourself

For introverts, a lack of restorative solitude is especially damaging, as they gain energy from being by themselves. But even ambiverts and extroverts need some time to themselves. People cannot rest, regain power, understand themselves, and perform reflections and check-ins without any time alone.

Single people are more likely to have the time and freedom to engage in restorative solitude. They get comfortable with being alone and learn to draw energy and power from that. That independence is rarely possible in a relationship.

Studies show that single individuals have more time for relaxing leisure activities as part of restorative solitude. This makes them even happier by reducing stress and creating a more varied, exciting lifestyle.

Of course, this isn’t to say that people who cohabit with partners don’t get any alone time! But this is often a secondary thought, not a priority, especially if you share a house with a partner. That’s why it’s important to maintain individuality and “me-time” in relationships. Without that healthy moment of solitude, you can become progressively

3. Many Single People Exercise More

Believe it or not, people who have never been married work out more than married or divorced people, say, studies. The exact reason isn’t scientifically known, but there have been a few theories, such as:

Married individuals have less interest in staying in shape to be attractive to others. They may feel more secure in their partner’s attraction to them regardless of their fitness level.
The spouses of married people might show affection in cooking, acts of service, and other signs of love that reduce their need to be active.
Married individuals may have less free time to spare and, therefore, may not work out.
Married individuals are more likely to have children than those who have never been married, which means they’re likely to be more tired and busier than their single peers.

However, these theories do not cover the fact that divorced individuals still don’t exercise as much as people who have always been single. This is believed to be more due to habit and routine than anything else.

Regardless, the fact that single people exercise more may be why they’re so happy alone! It’s well-known that physical activity can boost mood and reduce symptoms of various mood disorders. It also makes you physically healthier, making you feel better mentally overall.

4. They Choose Independence and Stay Single By Choice

There’s an unfortunate stereotype that single people must be unhappy because they’re alone. But have you considered that their singleness is as a choice as other people’s decisions to date and marry?

On top of that, consider the significant amount of pressure put on people to couple up and settle down. It’s an expected path in life. Someone willing to fight the status quo and go against the grain has to do it because they want to, not just for its sake.

Singlism seems minor, but it’s a big deal for many single people. These are the acts of discrimination and marginalization that many single people face worldwide. They may be viewed as unlovable, evasive, or unfit for partners. They’re excluded from gaining tax benefits and may face many other issues throughout their lives.

While some people are single by pure chance, the constant choice to be single for most of life requires going against what the world wants. It can be demeaning, so single people learn to find value in the happiness they get – the rewards from their fight well won!

5. Single People Are Not Alone, and They Enjoy the Independence

In serious, long-term relationships, prioritizing your partner is not unusual. And in new relationships, it’s pretty common to get very wrapped up in the new person in your life. No matter how serious or official, your partner will likely take up much of your time and attention.

There’s nothing wrong with that! But this means many people in relationships spend most of their social time with that partner. This is why being single can seem so daunting to those in relationships. You’ve had someone guaranteed to be alongside you for much of your time, making it hard to be lonely for long.

But single people don’t just spend all day lying around doing nothing. Quite the contrary! In fact, studies say they’re more likely to develop close, supportive, give-and-take relationships with:

Friends
Siblings
Parents
Neighbors
Colleagues

In other words, single people aren’t alone. They have plenty of fulfilling relationships with those around them and have better platonic and familial relationships than those in long-term partnerships. On top of that, if you’re still mostly dating casually, your life satisfaction will be determined more by family and friend relationships than any singlehood would upturn that satisfaction.

6. They Have Better Work-Life Balance

Not all non-single people wind up having kids or in a dynamic where only one party works. But for those who do, work-life balance is easy to lose. Concerning research indicates that:

Married men work longer hours than single men
Married women earn less than single women
Overtime and extra jobs are often necessary to finance property purchases, children, and other significant expenditures typical in relationships.

A good work-life balance is crucial to happiness. Single people are often happier simply because they can enjoy a steadier career advancement while working at a more balanced rate.

7. It’s Correlation, Not Causation

Seeing single people so happy alone may make you wonder if being single is better than in a relationship. Even studies have shown that single individuals have better life satisfaction. But, as it turns out, this is likely more correlation than causation. This is because:

Maintaining long-term healthy relationships is difficult, but settling for someone for companionship, especially casually, can be easy. This means that people who aren’t single may be using relationships as a form of avoidance, distraction, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms for various personal issues.

For example, if you’re unhappy with your life, you’re more likely to believe that a relationship might help reduce the unhappiness and won’t address the root issues. Some people also feel so uncomfortable being alone that they must seek out relationships actively and don’t get the chance to work on themselves.

Meanwhile, single people are more likely to have the time to focus on their improvement and growth because their attention is on themselves. This doesn’t necessarily mean all single people are happier than those attached, but it’s the reason you’ve likely seen many happy people alone.

Final Thoughts On Some Reasons Why Single People Are Often Happier Alone

Single people experience so much happiness thanks to their independence, refreshing solitude, thriving social life, and general lifestyle enjoyment. They may even benefit by exercising more and working less! In other words, the idea that being single is somehow lonely is entirely inaccurate.

Independence has its fair share of pros and cons. But if you’ve been feeling pressure to continue being in relationships or finding a partner as soon as possible, why not slow down a little? You might find that you love and enjoy life on your own. There can be something truly wonderful about your own company!

10 Reasons Why Being Alone Can Be the Most Productive

June 21, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Loneliness is a real problem that many people face. Numerous songs talk about being alone, and it seems like some folks can surround themselves with others and still feel the pangs of seclusion. However, being alone is necessary for many people, especially if you’re an introvert and need to recharge your batteries.

Why do people want to celebrate things in a crowd surrounded by friends and family? What’s wrong with curling up with a good book and your thoughts for a night? Did you know you can resolve many of the massive problems you face by spending some time in solitude?

It sounds ironic, especially considering it’s the opposite of how most people live. Perhaps, folks have been going about things all wrong. Maybe we need to incorporate some time for self-reflection instead of being surrounded by a crowd.

Assume you’ve had a rough day at work and you’re exhausted. It happens to be an evening that your friend wants to go out to dinner, or you have other pressing issues. How often have you stated, “I just want to be alone?” It’s because you need that time of solitude to escape the pressures of the day.

Sometimes you need silence when you’ve heard cash registers chiming, music, people, chatting, and customers complaining. Anyone fighting loneliness should work retail for a few hours, as it’s not for the faint of heart.

Why Being Alone is Productive?

To dedicate time to being alone, you must first change your mindset. Society has ingrained in people that it’s terrible to isolate yourself. You don’t want to close yourself off from the world for days at a time, but you do want to make time for yourself to be alone.

There’s a big difference between the two. You will learn that solitude is the antidote to many things in life. Here are some reasons why it’s okay to spend some time by yourself.

1. You Can Plan and Set Goals

How can you plan for the future or set goals when you have commotion? It’s hard to think about where you want to be in five years when your spouse wants to know what you want for dinner, and the kids are fighting over a toy.

You can shut the door and be alone with your thoughts, and, incredibly, the amount of goal setting you can get done in just a few minutes.

2. You Get More Accomplished

When you have some solo time, you are calmer and more centered. This allows you to concentrate and get things done. If you have a project that you need to focus on, shutting yourself in a room for a couple of hours may be all the time you need.

It’s hard to concentrate when you’re being pulled in many directions but closing the door indicates you need to be alone. You can do this at home or in the office when you need to focus and shut off the outside noise.

3. You Can Rest

One thing that so many people don’t get is sufficient rest. Maybe you need a nap daily to help you feel refreshed and ready to go. You might not need to go to sleep, but perhaps you need to rest your mind.

Spending this time alone can give you the strength to keep going throughout the day. It can be the little boost you need to get your second wind. According to Harvard Health, there are many benefits to napping.

One benefit of a nap is that you reset your brain. The experts further state that you need 7.5-8 hours of rest each night; many people don’t get that amount. However, taking a nap can help boost the sleep you need so that your brain isn’t frazzled and can wake refreshed.

4. You Increase Your Spirituality

Whether you believe in a higher power, the Universe, or nothing, it doesn’t matter. Every person has a spiritual side to them. You’re a triune consisting of three parts, body, mind, and spirit.

Some folks pray while others meditate or chant, and some do nothing. Whatever you do to help bring you back to a center point is beneficial. You can’t pray with noise going on all around you, and you can’t get answers from the Universe when you’re distracted by your atmosphere.

Closing yourself off and being alone can allow you to increase your spirituality.

5. You’ll Improve Your Mental Health

Have you ever been in a crowded shopping center with people everywhere and couldn’t wait to get to your car? When you returned to your car and shut the door, the silence was relaxing. It’s because peace is not just luxuries; you must have them to keep your mental health in check.

Silence is refreshing. When there’s no one talking to you, bothering you, or asking a hundred questions, you get to bask in the silence. Your mind needs this time to refocus, regroup, and let go of the day’s tensions.

6. You’ll Cherish the Moment and Replenish

As you age, you realize that the moments you get alone are few and far between. Someone always needs you, and there are always numerous things you need to do. You no sooner get caught up with the things of yesterday if today’s burdens overwhelm you.

When you have children, they require the assistance of their parents nearly 24/7 and don’t think that when they turn 18, things will get any easier. While they won’t always be underfoot, you need to make each moment with them count. Therefore, you need these spaces of time to gather your thoughts, refresh your mind, and be alone.

This solitude allows you to gain the strength and energy you need to keep going. Remember that an empty pot can’t pour into others, so if you don’t take time for yourself and handle your needs, you won’t benefit anyone else.

7. You Have Time for Journal Writing

Being alone can help you reflect. What amazing things have you, your children or your spouse accomplished? Journaling is an essential part of mental health. You can not only write down the things that trouble you, but you can also keep track of any good things that happen along the way.

Most parents document their baby’s first steps, first words, and those initial milestones, but what about the other things that happen? Why not write down when your child wrote you a letter that made you cry because they poured their heart into you?

A journal is something that many people feel they don’t have time to do, but you need to make time. This little book can be a roadmap of your life and a legacy you leave behind for others. Though being alone sounds scary to some, you have time for these little things that can enrich you and your family.

8. You Can Pamper Yourself

Don’t look at being alone as scary or something that you dread. Instead, think of this as your time to pamper yourself. You will be a better parent, worker, and friend when you learn to give yourself a little TLC.

A study conducted by Southern New Hampshire University found that people who engage in self-care have better cognitive function than those who don’t. You’re at a higher risk of burnout, depression, and other mental health issues when you burn the candle at both ends.

9. You Get to Know Yourself Better

One of the things you will notice when you’re by yourself is that you don’t have to be something you’re not. When you’re at work, you must be customer-service-driven and listen to every management demand. However, you don’t have to listen to anything or anyone when you’re all by yourself.

You call the shots, and you can say or think whatever you want. It’s the one time in your life when you are entirely free.

10. Your Creativity Will Flourish

Did you know that most people who have a creative side need the peace and tranquility of being alone to be productive? Painters, authors, and other crafty folks need that solo time to think and allow their talent to flourish.

Do you have a story to tell or want to start painting? Now’s your time!

Final Thoughts on Why Being Alone Is Productive

You make choices every day, so you must choose peace and serenity over chaos and anxiety. Loneliness is a real problem, but it doesn’t have to be your issue. You can find plenty of things you can do when you’re solo to make you relish every moment.

Take this time to engage in activities that interest you and get to know yourself better. Being alone can positively affect your health and outlook, and who doesn’t want to feel better? This is your time to do what you like, and you don’t have to accommodate others. Doesn’t being alone sound amazing?

10 Behaviors That Reveal Toxic Independence

June 21, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Your level of independence marks each stage of life. As a child, you learned to dress yourself and perform other skills your parents taught. Your education, skills, and ability to work independently were crucial to your job success.

While working well on your own is a desirable quality, it must be kept in proper perspective. Being too independent can be just as harmful as being too dependent. It can create a destructive mindset that affects all aspects of your life.

Past Trauma Connection and Toxic Independence

Some people are just naturally more independent than others. However, others may develop an extreme independent mindset because of past trauma. It becomes a coping mechanism against a repeat offense.

Consider those who grew up in unstable and abusive homes. They may have learned that they couldn’t depend on their parents from an early age. So, it was up to them to fend for themselves for food and other necessities.

It stands to reason that such traumatic events would make these strong people more prone to be ultra-independent. Even though they’re adults and their life is stable, they still have the loner mentality. They took care of themselves in the past, and they don’t need anybody now.

Another factor to consider is those recovering from a toxic and abusive relationship. If you can relate, you may still be lingering in the pain of the past. You build psychological walls to protect yourself from further abusive relationships as a survival response.

What Are the Traits That Reveal Toxic Independence?

An overly independent person may seem cold, distant, and even harsh on the surface. Their instance of caring for themselves can come across as selfish and arrogant. Yet, they are often afraid to allow you into their confidence for fear of hurt and rejection.

If you’re this person, you may be hiding incredible pain and vulnerability under your iron façade. You may overcompensate by doing everything on your own and pushing away others. If this mindset persists, you may develop issues that affect your entire well-being.

Ten Behaviors that Reveal Toxic Independence

How can you tell if you are independent enough to be healthy but still be a team player? If your loner confidence isn’t contributing to a meaningful and joyful life, it may be hurting you. Here are ten behaviors that may reveal that you’re too dependent on yourself.

1. You Have Great Difficulty Asking for Help

Perhaps you’ve depended on your abilities so long that asking for help seems like a fault. Strong people may accidentally snap at folks who even offer to give you a hand. When you’re incredibly independent, such a kind offer may seem like a slap to your ego.

2. You Prefer to Do Everything Yourself if You Struggle With Toxic Independence

If you struggle with hyper independence, friends and family may have stopped offering their assistance. They probably realize that it does no good and only aggravates you. Your motto may be that you must do things yourself if you want something done right.

A study explores the link between independence and self-esteem. Like many people, you get much satisfaction in doing things independently. While this can be a positive link, being overly independent can have adverse effects.

3. You Decide Everything Yourself

Making wise decisions about your life is part of healthy independence. It’s a significant sign of maturity that makes most parents proud. However, even strong people need some sage advice now and then.

If you are hyper-independent, you rarely ask for opinions and decide for yourself. You figure that nobody but you knows what’s best for your life. Some of your choices and decisions might have had a better outcome if you had asked for experienced counsel.

4. Delegating Tasks isn’t Your Thing

Whether at home or work, toxic independent folks have difficulty sharing responsibility. If this is you, notice how your anxiety peeks if you delegate tasks. When you are forced to share the workload, you probably micromanage everyone so much until you take over what they’re doing.

It’s not that you think everyone around you isn’t competent. You’ve grown so accustomed to bearing the entire burden that you’re afraid to share it. So, you’re overworked, and some of the projects could have deficiencies.

5. You Proudly Claim to be a Workaholic

It’s admirable to have an impeccable work ethic, and others know that you’re able and dependable. But if you have toxic independence, you may take your role too far. When your work and leisure time are unbalanced, all aspects of your life pay the price.

Maybe you can relate to a toxic independent fellow named Bob. Since he was a teenager, Bob worked in construction and auto mechanics. Although he regrets not finishing high school, he has a brilliant mind and worked his way up as a master diesel mechanic.

While he provided for his family over the years, his most significant source of pride was his workaholism. Over the years, he worked countless extra unpaid hours and used it for bragging rights. He was an excellent mechanic, and his favorite line was that he did it all himself.

They not only use workaholism as a measure of worth for themselves but also for everyone else. His conversations were peppered with self-adulations and a call for attention. In his eyes, nobody could do the job like him, and he was proud to show his humility.

After decades of overextending his body, Bob was forced into early retirement. His relationship with his family has always been strained because work came first. Now, he’s disabled and battles deep depression because his independent work always represents his self-worth.

6. You’re an Intensely Private Person

There’s a difference between being a private person and a recluse. Everyone deserves to relax in the peace and solitude of their own home. Also, many people are introverts and flourish with ample time alone.

Hyper independence often keeps people at arms’ length from others. You have your way of doing things and crave space. You may have difficulty with self-disclosure for fear of someone judging you unfairly.

7. You Dislike People You Consider Too Needy

Toxic independence does little to foster empathy for other people. Perhaps you conclude that if you can do it yourself, everyone else should. Consequently, you might equate people who ask for help as lazy and too needy.

On the other hand, you may jump to their rescue if it fulfills your need to be noticed as a strong person. Those who are too independent are prone to judge less competent people harshly. Soon, you may develop the attitude of blaming others for unfortunate circumstances beyond their control.

8. Toxic Independence Comes With a History of Personal Relationship Problems

According to one article, love and belonging are basic human needs. Even having a few past relationships that didn’t work out is better than none. Unfortunately, some broken and toxic relationships can create hyper-independence.

Have you walked from an abusive relationship and vowed never to fall in love again? Harboring pain from the past may keep you from enjoying a beautiful new relationship. Your fierce individualism can often sabotage your future happiness with someone.

You meet a delightful person at a party and immediately turn to ice and rebuff their sincere compliments. You may be sarcastic because you think they’re trying to control you. Later, you regret it because you didn’t give this person a chance.

9. You Often Take on Too Much Responsibility

People who are too independent habit of taking on more than they can handle. It’s part of the connection between their accomplishments and self-worth. Maybe it’s why you’re chronically exhausted and never have time for anything else.

At some point, you’re human, and you’ll make mistakes. That’s especially inevitable when you refuse to let others help. You take any flaws in the task as a personal indictment and take on even more jobs.

This negative whirlpool may also lead to toxic behaviors like shifting blame. If everyone had left you alone, there would’ve been no mistakes. You might blame personal shortcomings on others and shun their help even more.

10. You’re an Extreme Perfectionist and Self-Critical

Another red flag of hyper independence is extreme perfectionism. Unless you can complete a project to perfection, you won’t do it. The consequence is that you may often have a stack of projects that are left unfinished.

Perfectionism isn’t based on reality and will only result in perpetual disappointment. You may notice that you’re overly critical and demanding of yourself. It becomes a vicious cycle that only increases your anxiety and refusal of help.

Final Thoughts on Behaviors of Toxic Independence

You’ve earned the right to be proud of your abilities and achievements. These are tools that help you work efficiently on your own at home and work. Remember that there’s no shame in asking for help when needed.

What to Do When Being a People-Pleaser Doesn’t Work Anymore

June 21, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

eAre you a people-pleaser? People-pleasers are notorious for doing anything at all to try and make others feel happy or satisfied. On the surface, that can sound like a positive trait. After all, being compassionate, thoughtful, and a peacekeeper is usually a good thing. But people-pleasers take that much too far and jeopardize themselves and their relationships.

Many people-pleasers go to great lengths to help other people, to the point that they have difficulty saying “no.” This can leave them burned out and exhausted while making them a target for people who want to take advantage of them. Then, resentment will begin to grow as the people-pleaser realizes that very few people will do for them what they do for others. They feel unappreciated, and it makes them bitter.

If that sounds like you, you probably are a people-pleaser and might be getting pretty tired of it! The good news is that this is something you can change. You need to consider your own needs and desires because you deserve to be happy as others do! But how can you start? Here’s how to stop being a people-pleaser and put your needs first.

1. Start Small When Breaking the People-Pleaser Cycle

A lot of the advice we’ll be giving here today can seem daunting to someone who’s been a people-pleaser. That’s why it’s totally okay to start small, even if those small starts don’t give you the full boundaries that you’ll be working up to. This can help you to gain confidence in yourself, so you’re eventually able to put your foot down when and where you want to.

Some small steps you can take are as follows:

· Make A List Of Desired Boundaries

What are some boundaries you’d like to have in your life? Write them down. Then, pick a few to start to set, communicate, and reinforce. Once you can identify boundary-breaking peacekeeper behaviors related to those few, increase the boundaries that you enforce. You’ll likely find yourself adding and removing limitations as time goes on and you become more attuned to your needs.

· A People-pleaser Mus Practice Saying “No.”

“No” isn’t a word reserved for people asking something of you. It’s a word you’ll use when interacting with various people, including strangers you’ll never see again. Practice saying “no” in low-stakes circumstances. When you’re asked if you’d like to buy an add-on with your meal, instead of just saying “yes” to make things smoother, say “no.” When a telemarketer calls, don’t waste time hearing them out to let them down gently – say “no.” When an acquaintance you barely speak to asks you to lunch, say “no.”

· Try Offering Alternatives

The end goal of stopping people-pleasing behavior is to be able to say “no” and leave it at that. But if you need to start small, you can begin by trying “no, but” or “yes, but” instead. You offer alternatives that are more in line with your abilities. If someone asks if you can help cover their shift, say, “No, but I can ask (colleague’s name) if they’ll cover it for you.” When an acquaintance invites you to a party, say, “Yes, but I’ll be arriving late.” This allows you to ease yourself into the habit of turning people down.

2. A Recovering People-pleaser Should Respond Wisely To Requests

As a people-pleaser, your first instinct when confronted with a request from someone is likely to say yes. You’ll want to shift your schedule around and do things for others at the cost of your own time and energy. It can almost be an impulsive response – you hear someone ask, and you reply “yes” without even thinking!

This is why it’s so essential to respond wisely to requests. Here are some ways to handle this as a recovering peacekeeper:

· Stall For Time

Did you know that research shows that pausing before making a decision can optimize and improve your decision-making ability? People-pleasers can learn something from that science! Instead of saying “yes” right away, stall for time and take a pause. Tell the person that you’ll get back to them in an hour or another appropriate time that is reasonable for them and you. Then, use that time to consider if you want to do this if you have time or energy for it, and how stressed out you’ll become if you accept. Even taking a few moments to think it over can be enough to kick more rational thoughts into gear!

· Don’t Make Excuses

People-pleasers also often feel the need to step into the role of a peacekeeper. This means that you might feel the urge to come up with reasons and excuses for why you won’t be helping someone or doing things for them. Don’t blame other obligations and avoid explaining something at length. This will only give others the chance to poke holes in those excuses. It also creates a more defensive tone that sounds like you can be negotiated with. Use a powerful, firm voice and don’t elaborate or add unnecessary information. “No” is a complete sentence!

· Don’t Say That You “Can’t.”

The word “can’t” comes with many hidden implications that people can quickly pounce on. People who need a peacekeeper and are already pushing boundaries will not be deterred by the word “can’t.” They see it as a term that means you can be persuaded. If you can’t do it because you’re busy, they’ll tell you it’s just for a little while. If you say you can’t hang out with them, they’ll ask why and find a way to shoot down your reasons. Studies show that using “I don’t” instead of “I can’t” allows you to more easily exclude yourself from plans. It may sound harsh, but it’s necessary for boundary maintenance. “I don’t want to” always works better than “I can’t”!

· Don’t Apologize

People often apologize for being unable to do something, but is that always necessary? In many cases, it simply gives boundary-pushers the chance to use that apology as an admission of guilt, which they can then use to twist your arm. They know you are a natural peacekeeper who seeks to appease everyone. But you don’t owe anyone your time, effort, or energy, so why are you sorry for not being able to give it to them? Use your best judgment to determine when and where apologies are necessary, and stop handing them out freely!

3. Build Your Self-Esteem as You Shift Away from Your People-pleaser Role

People-pleasers often have trouble standing up for themselves. They may be unable to advocate for themselves and fall into dangerous patterns of self-neglect and unnecessary sacrifice. Why does this happen? A lot of the time, this comes from poor self-esteem.

Consider this. Many people-pleasers often experience sociotropy, according to research. Sociotropy is an excessive desire to earn external approval from others to ensure that relationships are maintained. In other words, you might feel that you have nothing to offer people in your life and have no choice but to do everything for them so they like you.

This is why building self-esteem is so crucial in stopping a people-pleasing habit. Here are some ways to start:

· Remind Yourself Of Your Worth (You Are More Than Just a Peacekeeper)

No matter what your inner critic says, remind yourself that you’re a valuable person who doesn’t need to prove your worth. At first, you may not believe yourself, so telling yourself this might feel silly. But, as time goes on, your brain will be trained by the repeated affirmation and will start to believe and internalize your true value.

· Detach Yourself From Others’ Opinions

This is easier said than done, but you have to face the truth: you can’t be everything to everyone. There will be people who don’t like you. There will be people who have no interest in you. You can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try. But you can please yourself. Focus on being the person that you can be proud of, not on being someone that others want.

· Be Your Own Best Friend Instead of a Peacekeeper Among Your Friends

Would you be happy if your best friend thought about themselves as you think about yourself? Probably not! The fact is that we, as human beings, are harder on ourselves than on everyone else. Start thinking of yourself as your own best friend and respond to yourself the way you’d react to those you love. This means being kind and patient to yourself while providing important reassurance when you feel low or insecure!

4. Determine Who Matters

There’s nothing wrong with doing things for people in your life, but you have to make sure you’re somewhat selective about who those people are. Healthy relationships with others involve a good amount of reciprocity and shouldn’t be you giving and others taking all of the time.

This is not to say that you should be calculative in your relationships. However, you should be aware of the fairness of your relationships. Are there people in your life who take and never give, who you always do things for but would never do those things for you? Those are people you likely don’t want in your life.

There will also be people who see your people-pleasing tendencies and seek to take advantage of your peacekeeper tendencies. They may manipulate you by guilt-tripping you or using non-stop, harassing persistence to get you to agree with their requests. These are people that you’ll need to cut out!

You may also find that some people in your life are unhappy with your changes to put your needs first and stop being a people-pleaser. No one who truly cares about and respects you will react negatively to normal, healthy boundaries, so keep that in mind as you thin your list of friends and acquaintances.

Ultimately, the goal is for you to only spend your time and energy on people who deserve that from you and would give you that commitment in return. This fosters healthier, more genuine relationships and keeps your kindness without you being a pushover.

Final Thoughts On How To Stop Being a People Pleaser and Peacekeeper and Put Your Needs First

Being a people-pleaser can have terrible effects on your life and mental health. It can cause a lot of stress and anger, lead to inauthentic relationships, and reduce your willpower and resilience over time. Worse still, pleasing others excessively often stems from deeper roots, like a lack of self-esteem, high insecurity, or past negative experiences and trauma.

It can be challenging to learn to stop pleasing others, but it’s far from impossible. It gets easier as time goes on. Finding ways to handle people’s requests in real life goes hand in hand with doing internal work to resolve the roots of your issues. It’s a difficult path, but it’s very much worth it for your mental health and improved relationships!

Maintaining your boundaries is crucial in stopping the negative cycle of being a people-pleaser. You are more than a mere peacekeeper among your friends. Keep utilizing these tips in putting your needs first and stopping the habit, and make sure that you enforce them with the people in your life! Remember that you deserve to be happy and have your needs met, too!

8 Things That Happen to Your Body If You’re Showering Too Often

June 20, 2022 by Chris Butler

There’s nothing more refreshing than a warm shower or luxurious bath. Your body is sparkling clean as all you wash your cares the drain. However, invigorating as it may feel, too much showering may be as problematic as not enough.

Brief History of Personal Hygiene

As human beings evolved, so did their concept of cleanliness. Naturally, people draw to water as a life-giving source. In the beginning, bathing and swimming were more of a pastime for cooling off after a hot day. The earliest humans noticed the calming effects of natural hot springs and showering under waterfalls.

Many ancient cultures created ritual baths for their spiritual traditions because of the connection with water and birth. Bathing and showering took on religious connotations rather than for hygienic reasons. The Ancient Babylonians and Chinese were the first to add essential oils and other perfumes to bathwater.

For these cultures, ritualistic bathing was a feat that could last for hours or even days. Such was usually reserved for royalty and other wealthy families. People filled large tubs with water heated over an open fire.

Water wasn’t always the liquid of choice for ancient bathing. The legendary beauty Cleopatra was noted for her love of luxurious milk baths. Others lavished themselves with aloes and other soothing ointments for their skin.

The Ancient Greeks and Romans made a social artform out of bathing. They constructed stunning public bathhouses where citizens could bathe and socialize. They also took advantage of natural waterfalls and hot springs for a relaxing soak.

From the Middle Ages to the Modern Era, most people had reservations about bathing. Indeed, many physicians warned that bathing was hazardous to people’s health too often. Many folks during these times rarely scrubbed in water more than once a week or so.

When indoor plumbing became more accessible, it was no longer necessary to pack water from wells or creeks. Indoor bathrooms with built-in tubs and hot water eventually changed the social paradigm to make daily bathing acceptable.

As indoor plumbing evolved into an essential part of daily life, the need for reliable maintenance and expert installations became crucial.

What once required effort and planning, like fetching water from wells, is now an expected convenience in every home. To keep these systems running smoothly, partnering with a skilled plumbing company is vital. From ensuring proper water pressure to preventing leaks and clogs, professional plumbers provide the essential services that keep households functioning efficiently.

Not only do plumbing professionals handle day-to-day maintenance, but they also play a pivotal role in upgrades and renovations. Their ability to adapt to modern innovations while maintaining classic plumbing standards makes them an invaluable resource for any homeowner looking to enhance their living space.

To ensure that such modern conveniences continue to function seamlessly, the expertise of a skilled plumbing contractor is indispensable. Here, The Otter Guys excel, offering comprehensive services to maintain and upgrade plumbing systems. Their experience ensures that every installation, from classic bathtubs to sophisticated shower systems, operates flawlessly, preserving the comfort and efficiency of modern indoor plumbing.

In the world of home maintenance, plumbing and drain cleaning are essential services that often go overlooked until an emergency arises. Regular upkeep is crucial for preventing major issues like clogs and backups that can disrupt daily life. Skilled plumbing companies, such as sveagle, offer expertise in drain cleaning, employing advanced techniques and tools to clear blockages and ensure optimal flow. Their services not only help maintain the health of your plumbing system but also extend its lifespan, allowing homeowners to enjoy modern conveniences without interruption.

What Happens When You Bathe or Shower Too Often?

Sure, everyone wants to look, feel, and smell clean every day. With tubs and showers in your home, you have the option to bathe as often as you please. But can washing too often cause problems?

Have you noticed any changes in your skin or hair lately? Maybe you get itchier, and your hair is lackluster. Here are eight things that happen to your body when you shower too much.

1. Red and Irritated Skin

Bathing and showering will clean and hydrate your skin, but you can have too much of a good thing. Too many showers mixed with harsh soaps can irritate. You may notice patches of inflammation on your body that itch and burn.

This condition is a common consequence of showering in scalding hot water. An article published by Baylor College of Medicine warns that overly hot baths and showers can damage your skin. According to the report, it’s incredibly more damaging during the cold winter months.

2. Dry, Flaky Skin Can Come From Showering Too Frequently

As the largest organ in your body, your skin maintains a self-protective layer of natural oils. These oils keep your complexion properly hydrated, smooth, and elastic. They also block harmful bacteria and germs from entering your body.

Daily cleansing removes excess oil and microscopic grime on your skin’s surface. On the other hand, bathing too often can strip away these oils, leaving your complexion dry, flaky, and itchy.

3. Unusually Oily Hair

Likewise, your scalp produces a protective layer of oil to keep your hair silky smooth. Maybe you’re one of the many people who battle excessive oily hair and manage it with specially formulated shampoos. It would stand to reason that the more you washed your hair, the less grease buildup you’d have.

This reasoning isn’t entirely accurate, and excessive showering and bathing can cause the opposite effect. If you remove too much of these healthy oils, your scalp will go into overdrive and make too much oil. The consequences are that your hair may stay oily and cause skin breakouts.

4. Problems with Dry Scalp and Dandruff

Perhaps your scalp doesn’t produce enough oil, and it stays dry and irritated. You may use shampoos that boost hydration and minimize flaky dandruff. It’s learning the delicate balance of cleaning your hair and scalp while not overly drying them.

Excessive bathing and showering will only make your dry scalp worse. Another issue is if you wash your hair too much, you could be using too much shampoo. Instead of hydrating your scalp, the shampoo overdose can make your scalp drier, and you’ll continue to have dandruff.

5. Too-Often Showering Can Cause Chronic Itching

Isn’t it frustrating when you are itching and scratching all the time? Pruritus is the medical term for itching, explains an article published by The National Library of Medicine. According to the report, it can be an allergic or non-allergic reaction caused by many conditions.

Chronic itching can affect your quality of life and make you lose sleep. Too many showers may cause or exacerbate the condition. It’s especially true if you have sensitive skin or other dermatological issues.

6. Your Hair Color Fades Quicker With Frequent Showering

If you color your hair, you know how labor-intensive and expensive the process is. Even if you use hair dye from a department store and do it yourself, you want your money’s worth. Unfortunately, showering too often can fade your hair coloring before it’s time.

For most people, permanent hair dyes last six to eight weeks or about 28 washes. The untreated roots show as your hair grows out, and you need touch-ups. Temporary hair dyes that are so popular now only last about two to three shampoos.

If you shower and wash your hair every day, your hair dye could fade within a month. Not only will you have the cost of extra hair dye, but you’ll be treating your locks more often. That’s not healthy for your hair or your scalp.

7. Fewer Split Ends

Wouldn’t it be splendid if your mane was always shiny and smooth? It just doesn’t work like that in the real world. Caring for your hair requires time, patience, and proper maintenance.

Showering can often sabotage your efforts, and you’ll notice that your lovely locks become a mess. The excess water and shampoo zap away healthy oils and leave your hair looking depleted and dry. Plus, you can develop more split ends and hair breakage.

8. Showering May Upset the Balance of Beneficial Microbes on Your Body

You’d be amazed if you could see the microscopic menagerie that lives on your skin. Most of these minuscule florae and fauna are harmless, and some are even beneficial. Excessive bathing and showering can mess with this delicate balance and contribute to several health issues.

If you scrub with antibacterial soap, you may not be doing yourself any favors. These products will zap the most harmful viruses and bacteria lingering on your body. However, they can also destroy beneficial microbes that protect you, especially when often showering.

Seven Healthy Tips for Bathing or Showering

Here are some tips to help you bathe without stripping your skin of natural oils and causing excessive damage.

1. Use Warm Water When Showering

Hot, steamy showers may feel exhilarating for the moment but can damage your skin in the long run. Instead, bathe or shower in warm water. You’ll get the same effect without stripping your skin and hair of natural oils.

2. Make Showering Quick

Occasional long soaks in the tub are suitable for your body and nerves. However, it’s nothing you want to do every day. When you shower, try not to stay in the water for over 10 minutes.

3. Every Other Day

Some people have medical conditions or occupations that require daily baths or showers. However, you may get it by bathing and washing your hair every other day. Just freshen up a bit at the sink on your off days.

4. Use the Right Type of Soap

Many soaps have harsh detergents and scents that can irritate sensitive skin. Choose a soap that is gentle and contains moisturizers. Don’t use regular soap on your face, but rather a facial soap.

5. Tender Loving Care

Use soft, fluffy, and clean washcloths and towels, and use them gently. Rough scrubbing can damage your skin. Pat your skin dry with a towel instead of rubbing it.

6. Use Moisturizers After Showering

Apply a rich moisturizer as soon as you step out of the tub or shower. It will absorb into your open pores and hydrate your skin. Only use a moisturizer on your face that is formulated for this area.

7. Use Clean Supplies

Loofahs, sponges, and poufs are excellent tools for gently exfoliating your skin during a bath or shower. However, they can harbor bacteria and mildew if they stay damp. Sanitize them in your washer or replace them as needed.

Final Thoughts on the Effects of Showering Too Frequently

You need to keep your body clean for self-respect and optimal health. But bathing and showering too often may have adverse effects on your skin. When you tailor your hygiene to your needs, you’ll maintain a healthy glow and feel good about yourself.

Psychology Explains Why It’s So Difficult to Heal After a Breakup

June 20, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

A breakup can be devastating or unexpected. It may be a long time coming and for the best. You may feel relieved or betrayed in its wake. But, regardless of the context surrounding a breakup, one thing is constant: it hurts, and it’s hard to heal from. Psychology explains why it’s so difficult to recover after a breakup.

1. You’ve Lost Your Primary Source Of Support in the Breakup

In a healthy relationship, you have multiple sources of emotional support in your life. That support system will be instrumental in your journey to healing from a breakup and can make the trip easier.

But, even then, few can deny that their most significant source of support is their partner. After all, in most committed, serious relationships, you spend most of your time with your partner, especially if you live with them or spend much time in each other’s home.

When you break up with someone, you lose their support just as you enter a challenging period in your life. This entire time, you’ve been able to come to that person for support and love when needed. And now that you’re nursing a broken heart, they’re out of the picture, and you can’t go to them anymore!

If you’ve gotten used to your former partner’s undying support, you’ll now feel even more vulnerable without it. This can make things feel even more raw and painful as you struggle to pick something up. Sure, you’ll have external support from other loved ones in your life, but the vulnerability you shared with your partner will likely be the kind of support you missed most.

On top of that, less healthy relationships may have an unhealthy attachment, causing you to rely too much on your partner for your happiness and emotional health. This can make healing even more difficult. The breakup could have removed your only source of support or the person who acted as your coping mechanism.

In the case of less healthy relationships, it’s ultimately a good thing for a breakup to happen. However, the harmful patterns developed in that relationship can further worsen your attempts to get better, as your overreliance on a former partner makes you unable to regulate how you feel.

2. The Breakup Calls Your Identity Into Question

Relationships change your perception of yourself. You go from being one single individual to being someone who is actively planning a life with someone else. You share your world with them, and they share their world with you, and in the process, you absorb a little bit of each other. Your psychological boundaries blur slightly, and you merge in many ways. This happens because you do these things:

Experience new things together, thus shaping future thoughts and ideas based on shared experiences.
Develop inside jokes and knowledge that only both of you share.
Are vulnerable and open with each other, talking about difficult things that you may not share with anyone else.
Ask for the other person’s opinions; even when you disagree with them, you gain information on their perspective.
Hear and exist in a world where your partner dictates as much as you do, compromising and hearing their ideas and beliefs throughout the day.
Find things that are “yours” to do. Hobbies that you do together, something that you both enjoy and other little rituals that make your relationship unique and have sentimental value.
Try things that you would never have tried if not for your partner.

It certainly doesn’t help that in many relationships, people overdo this and become “one unit” instead of two separate but committed whole people in a partnership. In dynamics like this, that togetherness becomes unhealthy, and you lose some sense of your identity and who you are in the process.

Regaining Your Individuality

But even the healthiest relationships, where both partners maintain their individuality healthily and robustly, experience this. You can’t help it! Studies show that partners start to think of things in standard terms, considering what “we” want and what’s best for “us.” In most cases, when done in the right amount, this is perfectly fine and is often essential for long-term, serious relationships.

But when relationships end, the identity you’ve developed as part of those partnerships begins to erode. According to research, you start questioning yourself in the weeks following a breakup and may lose sight of your identity. You might wonder if you love the hobbies you got into with your ex-partner. Or you question if you were only participating for the sake of the relationship. You might ask yourself if you genuinely believe in the ideals you developed based on your ex-partner’s ideas and opinions or if your love for them swayed you.

This can leave you feeling lost and depressed, and your identity’s confusion can hurt. It may take months before you’re more sure of your identity once more, and the time you spend unsure may cause a lot of negative thinking and declining well-being. This is one of the biggest reasons healing after a breakup can be painful.

3. Your Body Knows Something Is Different After a Breakup

When you’ve been dating someone for a decent time, your body adapts and adjusts to their presence. Your whole biological rhythm changes say studies, and your partner becomes a part of the systems your body recognizes as a constant.

Think of it similarly to good sleep hygiene and how your body knows it’s time to sleep. When you go to sleep at different times, and in unstable environments, you have a more challenging time falling asleep. But when you maintain a consistent sleep schedule and have a habitual winding-down routine before bed, you get sleepy at the correct times and wake up more quickly.

Having a long-term partner, especially one you live with, is like having a consistent sleep schedule. Like with all consistent things in your life, they become a part of your body’s daily routine. This keeps you grounded and helps you navigate life evenly. On top of that, your partner’s daily routine likely plays a part in signaling yours.

Physical Symptoms After a Relationship Ends:

For example, you may:

Wake up as they make coffee in the kitchen
Automatically make two servings of everything you cook or make
Get hungry just as they get home from work
Feel thirsty when you hear your partner pouring a drink because you know they’re making one for you too
Become naturally sleepy when you lie next to them as they read in bed
Feel a little more energized when your partner is with you
Have a bath earlier than you did when you were single so your partner can use the shower after you
Stop eating late-night snacks so you can go to bed earlier at the same time as your partner
Become less stressed out when you get home from work thanks to a hug from your partner

In a breakup, a massive part of your routine life vanishes quickly and suddenly, and everything you regulated as part of your life with your partner is no longer present. At the same time, you are filled with negative emotions surrounding the breakup, making it harder to adjust to the dramatically shifting routine.

Breakups hurt because there’s so much you have to change about your life and adapt to. Of course, all of that is in addition to an already bad emotional state. You must change your routine so you wake up earlier to make coffee. You have trouble sleeping because your former partner isn’t there to signal bedtime with their routine. You’ll no longer have something that helps you de-stress from work. You catch yourself cooking two servings of food without thinking about it.

It certainly doesn’t help that all these changes to your routine are evident and palpable, so you’re constantly reminded by your partner in all aspects. Both the physical changes and emotional pain take a further toll on your physical health as your body struggles to adapt. No wonder a breakup is so hard to heal from!

4. Your Future Plans Change

In committed relationships, your plans begin to shape with your partner’s inclusion. Even newly committed relationships involve some degree of this; you may plan to attend an event later that year with your partner.

But in long-term, long-lived relationships, this extends to substantial life changes. You decide what city you want to live in, how many kids you want to have, and what your life will look like in the next five or even ten years. Those thoughts no longer apply; you must remove them from your plans. You may even have shared assets you thought you could rely on, and now you may have to give them up.

And, of course, even the most balanced relationships must involve compromise and some degree of sacrifice. Maybe you gave up living in your dream city because you knew you’d have a better life with your partner’s job in a different town. Now, you might regret that decision. And that gets worse in unbalanced or unhealthy relationships – maybe you’ve always reached the short end of the stick, giving up on your future wants for your partner.

It’s reasonable to be anxious about the future even when your relationship is entirely secure and healthy and you have everything planned well. So, naturally, anxiety peaks even further when all of that gets called into question, and you’re left floundering with an uncertain future after a breakup. Healing is difficult after a breakup because you must confront the reality that your envisioned future may be completely different now.

Final Thoughts on Some Reasons Why It’s Difficult to Heal After a Breakup

Healing after a breakup is difficult and painful, but it’s not impossible. You can and will heal. Whether you want to date again in the future or not doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you’ll feel okay again, and it won’t hurt anymore. Hold onto the knowledge that things will be OK, and you will find recovery waiting for you in the future.

Kind Man Helps An Autistic Child Recover From A Meltdown

June 20, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

When an autistic child got overwhelmed and had a meltdown, a kind soul stepped in to help. Not all heroes wear capes; sometimes, saving the day looks like calming down an anxious child. Children with autism often experience anxiety and get triggered by certain situations. While we may not totally understand, we can still offer support to those who experience life differently than us.

That’s exactly what a man named Ian did when he crossed paths with a 5-year-old autistic child one day. His mom Natalie Fernando had taken him for a walk by the sea in Essex, England, one afternoon. Her autistic son Rudy, also known adorably as “Roo,” unexpectedly had a meltdown during their seaside stroll.

“My son loves to walk, but he hates to turn around and walk back, we usually try to walk in a circuit to avoid this but on his favorite walk with the boats, we have no choice but to turn back, this will often lead to a meltdown, one which I can normally handle but on the back of 2 weeks out of school today was too much for him and me,” his mom explained on her personal Facebook blog, Better to Be Different.

Many people enjoy a relaxing walk at the promenade at Southend Sea Front, as it offers an amazing waterfront view and the convenience of a jet ski dock nearby, making it easy for enthusiasts to access and enjoy water sports. While many people passed by Natalie and Roo that day, only one person reached out their hand to help. Natalie said that before Ian showed up, she and her son were met with disapproving stares from strangers watching the scene unfold.

She tried to calm Roo down, but parenting an autistic child comes with its own set of challenges. Natalie says that talking him down during a tantrum isn’t always easy.

How Ian helped Roo calm down during the afternoon walk

Natalie said in the recent post:

“Only minutes before Rudy and I were being tutted at, stared at and frowned at by a woman and a man with a 2-year-old in a [stroller] trying to sleep despite me apologising for my sons loud noises, hence the walk along the sea front so I can let him express himself outdoors. Short from gagging him, I’m not sure of an alternative.”

Exasperated and at her wits’ end, Natalie didn’t know what to do next. Her son’s outburst drew a lot of unwanted attention, but calming down the autistic child seemed out of the question. The moment when Natalie started to lose hope, Ian showed up to save the day.

The man had been running along the walkway by the sea when he noticed Rudy. When he passed by, the boy was lying on the ground and looked upset. So, naturally, Ian wanted to see how he could be of assistance. Of course, he assumed that Roo was having a tantrum like most other young children.

To ease the tension, Ian asked Roo his name and tried engaging him in conversation. That’s when Natalie explained that he had autism and didn’t really comprehend what he was saying. However, when she explained her autistic child’s struggles which made the portion of the walk difficult, it didn’t deter Ian. He said, “That’s cool; I’ll lay down with him.”

So, he started to talk with Rudy while lying down on the sidewalk, just trying to ease the boy’s anxiety. After Rudy calmed down, Ian offered to walk Roo and his mom back to their car. This kind gesture totally turned their day around and showed that a little understanding and compassion could go a long way.

Natalie was so grateful for Ian’s kindness that she made a Facebook post about it.

On her personal Facebook blog page, Natalie expressed her gratitude for Ian showing up at exactly the right time. She titled the post: “This Man, A Total Stranger.”

“This man, a total stranger, saved me today from either a meltdown lasting up to an hour or more or the alternative, which is usually a bit of a beating from my boy who totally loses himself when he has a meltdown and can become very aggressive.”

Natalie further explained:

“This man, a total stranger, took time out of his day to just chat and ask if I was ok. This man, a total stranger, was my hero this morning…after laying with Roo [he] then walked Rudy and I all the way back to our car. I wish there were more of this man around and I am beyond thankful.”

Natalie said she will never forget Ian’s kindness and hopes others can learn from his example. As a mom of an autistic child, she believes it’s important to empathize with others instead of passing unnecessary judgments.

She wrote the following on her page: “It said a lot at the moment, ‘in a world where you can be anything be kind.’ Words are easy, these actions are not always so easy. This man is living the words, and I couldn’t be more grateful.”

She added: “If you see a parent struggling, maybe take the time to say, ‘Are you ok?’ Don’t judge the parenting. Try not to judge the child. Just be kind. We’re all walking our own path and navigating the journey the best we can, sometimes it takes a moment of kindness from a stranger to completely change your day. Thanks Ian from Southend Sea Front. You truly are a kind man.”

Final thoughts on the kind man who helped an autistic child through a difficult moment

Ian met Rudy and his mom Natalie while walking seaside in Essex, England, one afternoon. After noticing Rudy having a meltdown, he quickly stepped in to see how he could help. He introduced himself to “Roo,” and after Natalie mentioned his autism, Ian seemed to know exactly what to do.

He laid down near Rudy on the ground and chatted with him. The kind gesture appeared to calm him down considerably. After ensuring Rudy was okay, Ian walked both him and his mom back to their car. Sometimes, it’s a kind stranger who comes to the rescue when you least expect it.

Nigerians Build Earthquake-Proof Homes from Plastic Bottles

June 20, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

With all the plastic waste in our world, some people have decided to repurpose it into something amazing. In Nigeria, companies have begun using plastic bottles to build homes. Called “bottle brick” technology, the building materials can easily withstand powerful earthquakes.

Nigeria’s first home constructed from recycled plastic bottles sits in the village of Yelwa. It became so popular that tourists come from all over to see it. Government officials and traditional leaders from Nigeria also visit to see the unique structure.

Trader Nuhu Dangote traveled from the state capital, Kaduna, to witness the architectural masterpiece firsthand. He couldn’t believe it was built using only plastic bottles and mud. Once he saw it, he told everyone he knew to visit the eco-friendly home.

You might not think that plastic bottles would look aesthetically pleasing, but they’re surprisingly beautiful. The round bottoms of the bottles face outside the home, so it produces an eye-catching design. The bottles get packed with sand and then placed on their side. Next, they stack the “bricks” on top of each other and “glue” them together using mud.

In northern Nigeria, homes are typically built in a round, rather than square, fashion. These plastic bottle homes were developed to keep the traditional look alive. While the homes look beautiful, the developers built them with the environment as first priority.

Since then, companies expanded their production and built twenty-five structures on the land. A Greek businessman and environmentalist donated money for the project. Hopefully, plastic bottle homes like these will become commonplace in the future.

Each of these homes comes equipped with a bedroom, living room, bathroom, toilet and kitchen. Approximately 7,800 plastic bottles are used in production.

The plastic bottle homes provide affordable, safe housing for millions

The “bottle brick” technology began nine years ago in India, South America and Central America. The homes provide people with an affordable, eco-friendly option, as traditional brick homes are quite expensive. Yahaya Ahmed of Nigeria’s Development Association for Renewable Energies, says plastic bottle houses cost 67% less than a home built from concrete and brick.

Not to mention, houses made of plastic bottles have the upper hand regarding durability and safety. He went on to say that compacted sand inside a bottle has twenty times the strength of bricks. His company even plans on building a three-story building with the technology.

The bottle houses also help insulate the living space from the intense Nigerian climate. The sand helps block the sun’s heat, which keeps temperatures comfortable indoors. Plus, the compact sand makes the structure bulletproof, improving the home’s safety. In high-crime areas of northern Nigeria, the durable structure gives residents peace of mind.

The company first lays a firm concrete foundation to create a stable structure. Builders use a sieve to sift the sand for the walls to make them compact. This process removes stones from the sand to pass through the bottles’ mouths.

While many people have expressed their excitement about the bottled brick homes, not everyone shares the sentiment. Some people feel that the increased demand for sand will make it too expensive.

When considering alternative wall options for construction, homeowners and builders alike should explore various materials that can enhance both aesthetics and functionality. One popular choice is drywall, known for its versatility and ease of installation.

Proper drywall finishing is essential to achieving a seamless look, providing a smooth surface that can be painted or decorated to match any design preference. This finishing process not only contributes to the overall appearance of a room but also plays a significant role in improving sound insulation and fire resistance, making it a practical choice for many residential and commercial projects.

Mumuni Oladele, a mason in the southern Lagos, already sees a problem with the building method. He often sees companies digging everywhere for sand to build houses. He believes that’s just a glimpse of the future, as the demand for affordable homes increases.

Despite the concerns, it seems the benefits far outweigh the costs.

The plastic bottle homes give people jobs and remove discarded plastic from the environment

In the state capital of Kaduna, the building project gives children a way to earn money for the future. Whether they’re unemployed or not in school, children can find purpose and meaning in helping to build the homes. 15-year-old Shehu Usman, who works on the site, says he enjoys both working and earning an income. He hopes to have a plastic bottle at home when he grows up, too.

After the 25 homes have been completed, the Development Association for Renewable Energies will begin working on a school. It will also be built on the estate and give street children like Shehu an opportunity to attend.

In addition to the schooling and job opportunities, the project obviously does wonders for the environment. Plastic pollution in developing countries like Nigeria is a growing problem. Unlike first-world countries like the US, they lack adequate recycling centers and waste management. As a result, plastic piles up, lining the main streets and alleyways.

According to market research company Zenith International data, most water is sold in small plastic bags in Nigeria. However, the bottled water market continues to grow, and accounts for 20-25% of sales. This equates to around 500m liters of water per year.

Then, the discarded plastic bottles often end up in the environment. However, street vendors sometimes collect them to sell products such as peanuts. Other citizens utilize them for storage. With the plastic bottle homes project, there’s now a huge demand for these bottles.

The developers have gone to hotels, restaurants, homes, and foreign embassies asking for extra plastic bottles. This way, the consumer puts waste products to good use, and it doesn’t pollute the environment or waterways.

Final thoughts on the homes built from plastic bottles in Nigeria

Who would’ve thought plastic bottles could be used as home walls? One housing development company in Nigeria envisioned building affordable homes using these bottles. That way, the homes would serve two purposes: giving people a roof over their heads and cleaning the environment. It did even more for the community, providing jobs for needy people.

Eventually, the company will construct a school on the property so children helping with the project can receive a good education. Perhaps the project will expand even more into other parts of Africa and the world.

The housing project shows that plastic bottles don’t have to end up in landfills. With a bit of ingenuity, people can repurpose discarded plastics into something beautiful, like these “bottle brick” homes.

20 Hope Quotes to Read When You Feel Defeated

June 19, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Everyone experiences the feeling of defeat occasionally in life. It’s normal, but you can’t dwell in that mindset forever without losing hope. These hope quotes can help you when you feel defeated, allowing you to keep pushing forward.

When you feel defeated, you likely want to give up. You might feel like you lost something, your energy drains, you’re helpless, and you aren’t eager to do anything productive. While it’s hard to experience defeat, you must pull yourself out of it and keep moving forward.

Using quotes about hope can help you overcome feelings of despair and defeat. You might feel helpless at the moment, but you’ll quickly regain your strength and confidence. These hope quotes will give you the guidance and encouragement you need to overcome.

Hope Quotes to Read When You Feel Defeated

1. “Setbacks in life are opportunities to perform at a new level.” – William Cranch Bond

Even when you feel fully prepared for something, you might still experience setbacks. Don’t let the setbacks make you feel defeated because you can overcome anything that happens. As Bond explains, setbacks give you the chance to take your abilities to a new level.

2. “Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better we can bear a hardship today.” – Thich Nhat Hahn

When everything seems to be going wrong, remain hopeful because it’ll make the situation easier. You can get through hard times when you stay hopeful, and it’ll help you overcome feelings of defeat.

3. “He knows not his own strength who hath not met adversity.” – William Samuel Johnson

You must go through hard times and setbacks if you want to learn how strong you are. Without adversity, you’ll never know what you are capable of handling. When you recognize that setbacks or obstacles help you develop, you’ll overcome the feeling of defeat.

4. “The defeat in your head is not the same as the defeat in your heart. If your head tells you to stop, try listening to your heart.” – Unknown

If your negative thoughts contribute to your feeling of defeat, then stop listening to your head. Instead, listen to your heart and follow your path. Keep pushing through and listening for thoughts or feelings that motivate and encourage you.

Gain Strength with These Encouraging Words

5. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When you experience fear, it might be easy to give in to defeat and stop trying. However, if you can push through, you gain so much more than if you stopped. Plus, you can look back once the situation is over and see the strength that you exhibited.

6. “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

If you ever fail at something, remember that it doesn’t mean everything is over. You can try again as many times as you want, so there is never a final defeat unless you decide there is. Remember this hopeful quote the next time you feel like you’ve failed because there is always another chance for you.

7. “We can design our life agendas so that our daily planner is no longer the object of resentment but, rather, a thing of beauty: a stunning log of our enjoyment of life and progress toward freedom and transcendence.” – Brendon Burchard

If your to-do list makes you feel defeated, then this is one of the best quotes about hope for you to read. While you can’t always change what you must do, you can adjust how you think about it.

Stop resenting your responsibilities and learn to embrace them. Each task you complete can bring a little joy to your life if you view it as progress and betterment.

8. “Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” – Marilyn vos Savant

The way you feel right now is temporary. If you feel defeated, it’ll pass if you keep trying and giving your best effort.

The Wisdom of Learning Life Lessons

9. “You learn more from losing than winning. You learn how to keep going.” – Morgan Wootten

When you win, it doesn’t always include a learning opportunity. However, losing always allows you to learn something from it. As Wootten explains, you learn how to keep going, but you also learn much more.

10. “I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” – Og Mandino

While happiness and success are always preferred, darkness plays an essential role, too. Without hard times, you would never enjoy the brighter moments shining through. Remember to look for the stars on your darkest days so that you can find the light once again.

11. “We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we are afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

If you are afraid of change, you might stay in a situation that makes you feel defeated. Rather than continue feeling defeated and miserable, make the necessary changes to improve your life.

You might feel like everything you worked for crumbles, but it’s better than never moving forward. Starting over can transform your life and bring joy to your soul once again. Use this quote as a reminder to always stay hopeful because you can make a change at any moment.

Hope Quotes About Beating Adversity

12. “Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.” – Zig Ziglar

If you never experience adversity, you won’t grow, learn, or develop. You must face challenges if you want to reach success. The challenges push you to try harder and do better.

13. “Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path, and you will find you have crossed the mountain.” – Unknown

When you look at what lies ahead of you, remember that the mountain isn’t the hard part. The hard part is found in the smaller moments each day. If you can overcome and get through the hard parts, you’ll find that you make it to the other side.

14. “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou

When you encounter defeats, don’t let the feeling take over your life. Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn more about who you are and what you can do.

15. “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” – Earl Nightingale

When you think of the amount of time it’ll take you to accomplish something, it might make you feel defeated. Don’t let it stop you from getting started, though. Push away the feeling of defeat because time passes no matter what you choose to do. It’s never too late to start, so put the time to good use and start working toward your goals right away.

Fight Back from Your Losses

16. “True defeat only happens if you stop. If you never stop, you’re never truly defeated.” – Unknown

When things don’t work out right away, you aren’t defeated unless you give up. You can learn from each mistake, developing your skills as you figure out what doesn’t work. Remember this hope quote the next time you feel defeated so that you can keep moving forward.

17. “Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” – Denis Waitley

When something doesn’t go as planned, don’t dwell on the mistakes that you made. Dwelling won’t give you hope, but focusing on the next step to take will.

18. “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out, the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” – Randy Pausch

You’ll encounter obstacles in your life, but they aren’t there to force you to stop. The challenges are there to encourage you to find another way and to work hard.

19. “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie

When you feel defeated, remember this hope quote. Even the most successful people fail sometimes, but that doesn’t mean there’s no hope left.

20. “Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. When there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” – Ella Fitzgerald

No matter what happens in your life, don’t give up on your dreams. Keep working toward your goals, and focus on love and inspiration.

Final Thoughts on Hope Quotes to Read When You Feel Defeated

When you feel defeated, remember these hope quotes to help you get through. If you can see better days ahead, your well-being will begin to improve right now.

Keep pushing through no matter how hard things get, as these hope quotes encourage. When you get through the challenging time, you’ll look back and realize your hopefulness was all worthwhile.

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