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10 Ways to Tell If You’re Living the Life You Deserve

July 7, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

You deserve to live the best, most meaningful life possible. If you’re unsure if you’re living it, take a moment to assess your life. These signs will help you see if you’re living the fulfilled life you deserve.

It’s easy to look at your life and see the things that didn’t work out as planned. You might recall a person you lost, a goal you didn’t achieve, or a dream that didn’t work out. Everyone has these moments, but you shouldn’t fixate on them.

When you fixate on the things that didn’t work out, you’ll always feel empty or sad. You’ll lose meaning and feel unfilled, searching for something to help you feel better. It’s time to stop looking for fulfillment from outside sources because it’s already within.

These feelings indicate that you aren’t living the meaningful life you deserve. If you think that’s the case for you, these signs can help you identify areas of your life that need work. Or, they’ll help you realize that you’re already living a meaningful life.

Ten Signs of a Meaningful Life

These signs can help you determine if you’re living the meaningful life you deserve. Life is short, and it goes by fast, so you must make the most of each day.

1 – You Have Enough of What You Need

Think about your life and how many of the essentials you have. You’re already off to a good start if you have food to eat, clean water to drink, and a roof over your head.

Next, consider whether your vital organs are functioning and intact. If so, that’s another blessing that shows you have a chance at a healthy life.

You might think these things are minimal and don’t signify a meaningful life, but they are plenty. Many people don’t have these things, so don’t lose sight of the blessings in your life. Let these necessities be enough when you’re going through a hard time, and you’ll always have something to be thankful for.

2 – You Have People Who Cherish You and Want Build a Meaningful Life With You

When you feel empty, take a moment to think about all the people who care about you. Consider those who would be affected if you suddenly weren’t in their lives anymore.

Don’t only think about the people who love you deeply and know you intimately. Many other people in the world would be sad about losing you. These people are the ones who appreciate you and know you in different ways.

Think of those who recognize your voice on the phone or smile when they see you. You might think of the person who remembers how you like your coffee or enjoys seeing your life updates. People who see you as a meaningful person don’t always have a deep connection with you.

3 – You Have Responsibilities–and Feel Fulfilled by Them

It’s sometimes hard to think of the daily tasks of your life as meaningful, but they are. The seemingly mundane reality of each day can begin to feel pointless if you don’t have the right mindset. However, even if your life doesn’t match your childhood fantasies, it is still fulfilling if you have priorities.

From making appointments to driving to and from work, you can find meaning in every task. The fulfillment comes from having responsibilities that affect someone else, whether directly or indirectly. Think of the people you impact by following through on your daily commitments.

Even if someone else can do the same thing you do, you still did it. That means that you’re the one who made the difference in this situation. Each day as you fulfill your obligations and responsibilities, you bring more meaning to your life.

4 – You Made Sacrifices for Someone You Cared About

If you ever gave up on a dream, you might still wish you’d made it happen. However, even if you had to give up on something, you can still live a meaningful life today.

You might have had to give up a dream when you had children or got a steady job. Or, you might have had to let go of something you wanted to move to a new location with your spouse. Whatever didn’t go the way you’d dreamt, remember that it is all okay now.

If you have people worth making sacrifices, try to count your blessings. You only made sacrifices to promote the happiness, safety, and well-being of someone you cared about. Some common instances of making sacrifices for someone you cared about include:

Passing on your dream college to be with your high school sweetheart
Not moving for your dream job to care for your parents
Letting go of your wish to have pets because your partner is allergic
Traveling the world because you have children

While it’s easy to dwell on missing the chance or thinking you made the wrong choice, it’s essential that you shift your mindset. Shifting your mindset isn’t to say you should give up on your dreams to benefit others. Instead, it’s to say that it means you had deep, impactful relationships.

These decisions also helped shape your decision-making process while being considerate of others. These seemingly bad decisions show that you’re a good person, and you should never shame yourself for that.

Let it be enough that you have a good life now. Every decision you made led you to the people and places you’ve experienced along the way.

5 – You Couldn’t Control the Things That Went Wrong

When things don’t go how you wanted them to, you might regret the situation later on. However, don’t dwell on things that were beyond your control. If you know you can’t change things, it doesn’t reduce the meaning of your life.

Since the world isn’t perfect, things won’t always work out. Things not going as planned don’t mean that your life isn’t fulfilling. Release the thoughts of things you couldn’t control, and you’ll find the meaning you deserve.

6 – You Embrace Challenges if You Have a Meaningful Life

When you acknowledge something isn’t right for you, it’s time to change. Sometimes you might be afraid to delve in and face the challenge. However, if you can embrace the challenges and see the good in your situation, you live a meaningful life.

Challenges don’t have to be defeating. Instead, they can be the changes that make your life better. Making the most of each challenge can make all the difference. Plus, it helps you make decisions for your future, too.

Making the most of the challenges and using the tools you have right now show that you live a fulfilled life. Then, you can learn to make better choices for the future. These experiences bring meaning, strength, perspective, and wisdom to your life.

7 – You Try to Build Meaningful Routines

Routines enhance your ability to make good choices. When something is important to you, nurture those steps. If you don’t wait until you feel ready, you’ll feel more fulfilled. Jumping in and practicing routines can make all the difference.

Taking small steps can help build momentum, helping you see all that you can accomplish. Each time you fulfill the routine, you’ll experience happiness, grace, pleasure, and excellence. As long as you keep trying, you’ll realize how meaningful your life is.

Building routines also shows a healthy balance between enjoying life and doing meaningful things. It builds a solid foundation for happiness, allowing you to embrace your life. A meaningful life is all about working at it each day, not waiting for the big moments.

8 – You Can Identify the Source of Your Intense Emotions

Intense emotions are part of life, including negative emotions. It shows intelligence if you experience anger, sadness, embarrassment, jealousy, guilt, resentment, fear, or regret. Using these emotions as signals to build emotional processing skills shows that you have a meaningful life.

When you avoid overthinking these emotions, it helps you understand the underlying issue. Then, you can work on making things right. Being able to do this shows that you have a fulfilling life.

9 – A Meaningful Life Means You Value Your Time

Time is a resource that will eventually run out. If you think of time any other way, it can interfere with achieving your personal goals. However, if you value your time, it helps you prioritize your goals and face your problems.

10 – You Don’t Limit Yourself

If you don’t limit yourself to things you couldn’t do in the past, you’re doing well. It helps you let go of your failures as you implement better habits. Removing these limits indicates that you’re doing better than before, and that’s all that matters.

Final Thoughts on Living the Meaningful Life You Deserve

You’ve made it this far in life, and it says so much about you. The aspects of life that you often ignore show that you’re living the meaningful life you deserve. Regardless if life worked out the way you dreamed, you’ve still built a beautiful life.

Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful. Embrace the people and things that mean the most, and focus on bettering yourself each day. You can find meaning everywhere, especially in the repetitive parts of your day.

11 Behaviors People Need to Stop Taking Things Personally

July 6, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

When you keep taking things personally, it can take a toll on your well-being. It can make you feel judged or questioned, even when the other person never meant to offend you. These negative thoughts can be emotionally draining.

Someone can ask a harmless question or make a statement that leaves you feeling upset. Likewise, you might feel like the person thinks less of you. Whatever thoughts run through your mind, it’s sure to make you feel like a victim.

Sometimes, you might even take it personally when someone is too busy to see you all the time. It can make you assume the worst, going so far as to think someone doesn’t like you. However, reflecting on your behavior can help you stop taking things personally.

You can adapt some behaviors that allow you to stop taking things personally. Adopting these behaviors helps you develop and grow while building your self-esteem simultaneously.

The Negative Thoughts That Cause Taking Things Personally

There are a few reasons people continually take things personally. The reasons vary for everyone, but some include:

Being insecure
Misinterpreting a conversation
Defensiveness
Feeling an attack on their character, abilities, or competence
Having their achievements diminished
Being disrespected or mistreated

While you can’t control what other people say and do, you can control how you react. Please don’t blame yourself or assume that you’re the reason for their behavior. Whether the things they say are true or untrue, you can choose to disregard or internalize them.

When you internalize, it leads to taking things personally. However, disregarding the words allows you to push away negativity and self-limiting beliefs.

Eleven Ways to Stop Taking Things Personally

Taking things personally can hinder your ability to pursue your goals or engage in your passions. Learning to let go helps you take control of your response, emotions, and energy level.

1. Create Some Space Before Taking Things Personally

When you feel offended, create some space before reacting. Allow yourself to calm down before returning to the situation. By doing so, you can prevent yourself from lashing out in anger, frustration, or pain.

While taking your space, reflect on the situation and see if you reacted negatively. You might realize that the other person wasn’t judging you or being condescending.

Additionally, remember that you don’t know everything about the situation. You don’t know what’s on the other person’s mind or what else they’re dealing with. Whether it’s about you or not, taking time before reacting can make a difference.

2. Focus on Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can help you stop taking things personally. When you’re hard on yourself, it’s easy to become offended by what someone else says.

However, you can choose not to take negative comments personally with self-compassion. It’ll help you stay positive even when another person is rude or insensitive.

When someone is rude to you, you can shift the situation. You can choose not to let it in, allowing you to take control of your emotions and mindset.

3. Change Your Self-Talk from Negative Thoughts to Positive

When you take someone’s statement personally, it often confirms a negative self-thought. The words trigger you because you already feel inferior in that area of life. If this is the case for you, it’s time to shift your mindset and adjust your self-talk.

Rather than think of yourself as messy, consider yourself creative. If you tell yourself you’re not a good cook, remember your other skills. While you can’t be good at everything, you can shift from negative thinking to positivity.

You can stop taking things personally by focusing on what you’re good at. Everyone has flaws and weaknesses, but you shouldn’t fixate on them.

4. Stay Busy

When you don’t have anything to do, it’s easy to let your mind wander to negative thoughts and emotions. This negativity often links to things other people said or about you. Instead of letting your thoughts get the best of you, find ways to stay busy.

Spend your time wisely, doing productive things you enjoy. It keeps you too busy to care what other people say and stops a cycle of negative thinking.

If you aren’t sure what to do to stay busy, think about what you enjoy doing. You can take a class, sign up for a club, or join a team. Or, you can do home-improvement projects to improve your environment while staying busy.

5. Question Your Negative Thoughts and Beliefs

If you greet someone and they don’t respond, you might think it’s because they don’t like you. However, you must question that thought because you don’t know if it’s true.

Instead, the person may not have seen you or didn’t have time to recognize you. Or, maybe they were lost in thought and didn’t even acknowledge that anyone greeted them. Your negative thoughts and beliefs lead to misinterpretation, causing you to take things personally.

6. Know Yourself and Your Worth

If you know yourself and your worth, it’ll boost your confidence. It helps you understand who you are, allowing you to ignore comments that say otherwise. Knowing yourself helps you push away negativity rather than taking it personally.

When you know your worth, it prevents you from believing what other people say about you. Even when they say something passive-aggressive, you’ll be resilient to their attempt to hurt you. Knowing your worth lays a solid foundation for what you need to stop taking things personally.

7. Don’t Reply with Negative Thoughts

When someone disrespects you, don’t respond in the same way. Avoid further toxicity and negativity because it’ll make you part of the problem. It might make you feel good momentarily, but it’ll make you feel bad later.

If you can remember to be mature and respond respectfully, it’ll help you stop taking things personally. You’ll feel better about who you are, too, boosting your confidence.

8. Accept That Not Everyone Will Like you, and It’s Okay

Everyone is different, and that means not everyone will like you. However, don’t take it personally because it’s not worth changing who you are. You can’t force everyone to like you, and you don’t need their approval.

Think about why you take it personally, and then focus on the root of the problem. If you want someone’s approval because you want everyone to like you, shift your mindset. You don’t need everyone to like you, and it’ll never happen anyway, so learn to be resilient when it happens.

Sometimes you’ll want someone to like you because they are a friend or family member of someone you care about. In this case, you must remember that their opinion of you doesn’t change who you are. Even if you’d enjoy their approval, you don’t need it, and you still know your self-worth.

Make an effort to stop caring what other people think about you. It’s not always easy, but you must stay true to yourself and let go of those who don’t embrace it.

9. Be Assertive But Kind

You can be kind while still being assertive. Many people believe that assertiveness is a way to be mean, but it’s not true. Instead, it means standing up for yourself or something you care about.

If someone says untrue things about you, being assertive can end it. Declare the lies and half-truths for what they are, and make it clear that you have boundaries. It helps you regain control of the situation and your response processes.

If you take things personally because you don’t get something you want or deserve. When this happens, it’s up to you to be assertive and ask for it.

Maybe you want your partner to stop bringing something up, but you haven’t asked them. You must speak up and let the other person know that their actions or words cause pain because they might not realize it.

10. Remember That It’s Not About You

When someone is insensitive and says harsh things, it’s often not about you. Sometimes a rude person might be having a bad day and takes it out on whoever they can. Or, they might struggle with self-esteem and confidence and feel better about themselves when they’re mean to others.

11. Ask for Clarification to Eliminate Taking Things Personally

If you know the person well enough, speak up and ask for clarification. When they say something upsetting, it’s best to ask what they meant or intended. You may have misinterpreted the situation, and giving them a chance to explain can prevent future issues.

Plus, asking for clarification prevents you from overthinking the situation later. You either get the answer you wanted or recognize a person you should eliminate from your life. The people in your life shouldn’t intentionally hurt you, so getting clarification can help.

Final Thoughts on the Behaviors That Help Someone to Stop Taking Things Personally

Taking things personally can negatively affect your confidence levels and sense of self-worth. It can also interfere with the progress you make toward your goals.

Rather than letting words bring you down, learn to stop taking things personally. Remember that it’s often not about you at all, and even when it is, it doesn’t change who you are. Let go of things that bring you down, and focus on all the good instead.

9 Ways to Manifest a Positive Change

July 6, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Life is a blessing, but it can also be challenging sometimes. It’s easy to focus on negative thinking when things get hard, although it won’t help. Instead, find ways to manifest positive change in your life to improve the situation. How? By unlocking the Law of Attraction.

Manifesting positive change will improve your life in ways you never expected. You can quickly shift your mindset when you face challenges or experience negative thinking. With positive thoughts, anything is possible, and you’ll find fulfillment.

If you struggle to overcome negative thinking, making these changes in your life can make a difference. You don’t have to let negativity hold you back and hinder your happiness. Instead, make a positive change and live the life of your dreams.

Manifesting positive change in life takes dedication and persistence. You must develop new habits and avoid reverting to old habits. You can do it, though, and you’ll find the changes joyful.

What is Manifesting?

You’ll be happy to know you can manifest anything in life, including positivity and change. It takes commitment and self-discipline to stick to the positive changes. However, there will be no looking back once you realize how effective the differences are.

Manifesting is the process you use to bring your desires to reality. Your thoughts, dreams, and goals can become real if you display them with positive change. It involves the Law of Attraction that states “like attracts like,” so positivity brings beneficial change.

To attract good things into your life, you must have matching energy. Your energy must remain positive to reach your goals and accomplish your desires. Recognize that all good things come from within, and you won’t find them elsewhere.

How to Manifest Positive Change in Life

Staying positive is a choice; you can manifest positive change in your life daily. Learning how to choose each day will change your life and help you find happiness.

1. Visualize How You Want the Next Day to Play Out

Before going to bed each night, visualize how you want the next day to go. Think positively as you envision the next day, making it easier to make positive choices. Doing this before bed can help the thoughts and feelings solidify in your subconscious. Plus, falling asleep with a positive mindset allows you to wake up in the same state.

2. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations can help in all aspects of your life. Using them to manifest positive change can help you eliminate negative thinking and focus on good things instead. They help you develop a positive mindset, allowing you to attract everything you want and need.

If you come up with your affirmations, make sure they are:

In the present tense
Focused on positivity
Realistic

If you’d prefer to use pre-created affirmations, plenty are available online. You can repeat them exactly or alter them to fit your situation.

Use affirmations in the morning as you prepare for the day, allowing you to start on the right path. You can also use them at night to release negativity from the day and help you sleep better. Plus, using them throughout the day can help keep your mind focused on the good, even when things go wrong.

3. Practice Gratitude to Unlock the Law of Attraction

Gratitude can make every aspect of your life better. If you live with negative or anxious thoughts, think about the things that mean the most to you. Please don’t focus on what could go wrong or isn’t working out because it’ll cause you to think you’re lacking.

With gratitude, you’ll feel like anything is possible. Implement daily gratitude practices into your life, and you’ll feel better each time. Some of the ways you can practice thankfulness include:

Take a deep breath in and out while envisioning three things you’re grateful for
Keeping a gratitude journal near your bed for a daily list
Writing letters to people who have helped you

Focusing on gratitude allows you to attract more positivity into your life. Setbacks or obstacles will seem more accessible to overcome when you know that you have good things no matter what.

4. Implement a Morning Routine to Make Positive Change

A morning routine can be life-changing because it starts you out on a positive note. You get to choose how you want your day to go. Of course, that all starts with a good routine. A morning routine shows that you’re committed to making positive changes in your life and will encourage you throughout the day.

Without a routine, you might hit snooze a few times, unhappily drag yourself out of bed, and rush to get ready. This process is stressful, and it starts your day off negatively.

Instead, try getting up early, getting ready with minimal stress, and beginning your day on time. The positive change will improve your life because your days will be more positive. How you start your day can make a difference in manifesting positive change. It’ll keep your mindset positive and influence the rest of your day.

5. Avoid Negative Content When You Want to Make Positive Change

The things you fill your mind with affect every part of your life. If you constantly take in harmful content, you’ll acquire unhelpful thoughts. IF you want to manifest positive change in life, you must consume positive content instead.

If harmful content affects your life, consider doing the following to harness the Law of Attraction:

Listen to uplifting music
Follow positive social media accounts
Read inspiring books
Find positive news sources
Listen to positive podcasts
Turn off your electronics when harmful content seems constant

Sometimes, avoiding harmful content requires avoiding the news altogether. Delete the news apps from your phone, and limit your time on websites. Negative information can cause fear-based thinking and negativity, so it’s best to stop indulging in it.

6. Envision Positive Change on a Vision Board

A vision board gives you positive reminders of what you want in life. It helps you envision your dreams, allowing you to turn them into realistic goals. Vision boards help you attach emotion to your goals, giving you something to direct your energy on.

Vision boards are fun to create and help you think about what you truly want out of life. Once it’s on your board, you’ll be more likely to develop an operational plan that helps you get there. Plus, it allows you to push away negative thoughts because you’ll have your eye on the prize.

7. Find Something Positive in Every Situation

When things aren’t going as planned, it’s easy to focus on negativity. However, you’ll manifest positive change if you find something positive in these situations.

Staying positive allows you to look for options you wouldn’t have considered otherwise. Plus, it helps you keep an open mind as you work through the obstacles. You can find good aspects in any situation, even when hurt or devastated.

Making it a habit can make all the difference as it’ll help you remember that the world is still good. Finding the positive aspect doesn’t invalidate the situation but gives you enlightenment. If you can’t think of anything else, you can find a beneficial life lesson in the experience.

8. Go for Regular Walks Outside

Daily exercise is good for your mental and physical health and can help manifest positive change. Getting outside makes the experience even more beneficial. Researchers from UC Berkeley found that you’ll experience positive emotions when in the presence of natural beauty.

Further studies show that sunlight benefits your well-being in the following ways:

Improves brain function
Lowers blood pressure
Improves bone health
Lifts moderate depression

Make it a point to go on a 30-minute walk around your neighborhood daily. You can squeeze in a half-hour for walking even when you’re busy.

9. Take a Break from Social Media

You must exude positivity to benefit from the Law of Attraction.

Social media can zap your happiness and cause constant negativity. It can be highly detrimental with scary news articles, comparisons, and online drama. Pay attention to your mood when you use social media. You might find that you could benefit from a social media break.

Aside from a break, you can be more mindful of your social media usage. Set personal boundaries like limiting your time and monitoring who you follow. If specific pages or people make you feel bad, you don’t have to follow or interact with them.

Consider the apps you use, too. If one app brings more negativity than others, get rid of it. Likewise, if you spend too much time on a specific app, set a time limit on your phone. You will receive a notification when you’re getting close to your limit.

Another option is to set times of the day when you can’t use social media. You can choose not to use it during work, dinner, family time, or any time you think it creates negativity. Other beneficial times to avoid it is first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Manifest Positive Change in Life

If you want to see improvement in your life, it’s time to manifest positive change. Create better habits by implementing some of these ways. You’ll experience increased positivity and happiness, and the Law of Attraction will take care of the rest. Start small by implementing one or two positive changes in your life. Gradually add more methods until you’re living the life of your dreams.

10 Ways to Ask for Help (Even If You Don’t Think You Need It)

July 6, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Everyone needs assistance sometimes, and it’s okay to ask for it. If you’re afraid to ask for help, you must learn how to develop the skill. Even when you tell yourself you don’t need it, there will come a time when it’s necessary.

People need help all the time, including the following instances:

Needing directions in a new location
Not knowing an answer
Needing input from colleagues
Moving something heavy
Tackling an overwhelming task

When you find yourself in one of these situations, it can be uncomfortable if you don’t know how to ask. Or, you might continue telling yourself that you don’t need anyone else, even when it’s clear that you do. Either way, learning to ask for help can make a positive difference in your life.

Why You Think You Don’t Need Help

Before learning how to ask for help, take some time to consider why you think you don’t need it. Some of us are so afraid to ask for help that we struggle alone rather than reaching out. If that’s the case for you, there’s likely an underlying reason.

You might not want to seem weak or needy, especially in front of peers and supervisors. If you work in a competitive environment, your resistance to asking might be more prevalent. You might even tell yourself that asking will be used against you and that people will think you’re incompetent.

Other times you might be embarrassed to ask for help. It can bring out insecurities and make you feel less confident about yourself and your abilities. You’ll worry about what people think of you, so you stick to the thought that you don’t need it.

No matter why you think you don’t need help, remember that you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else. The things you believe about yourself aren’t running through everyone else’s minds. Push away the negative self-talk and speak up when you need it.

Getting help from others has many benefits that you’ll miss out on if you don’t ask. You can learn from others, helping you move ahead quickly and with fewer setbacks.

Why You Should Ask for Help

Asking gives you a new perspective you wouldn’t have considered otherwise. You don’t have to be desperate before you finally reach out. If you recognize a situation that you can’t effectively handle alone, find someone to ask.

When you dare to ask, it helps improve your life and well-being. It promotes self-development, allowing you to become a better version of yourself.

Asking for help also helps build a solid support system in your life. You’ll experience improved well-being, a healthier life, and improved coping skills with a support system. They see things you don’t see, helping you maximize your efforts.

While many people think asking for help signals a weakness, that’s not the case. Instead, reaching out is a sign of strength because it allows you to take control of your life. You don’t let your pride stand in the way of how well you perform.

How to Ask for Help

Now that you’re ready to ask for help, you might be unsure how to do it. These tips will help you request some assistance in a polite, professional, and appropriate way.

1. Take a Risk

If you’re unsure if someone will help you, take the risk and ask them. The worst the person can do is say no, so don’t be afraid of what will happen. It might be uncomfortable for a minute, but it’s better than not trying.

Most people are more than willing to help others, so they will likely say yes anyway. It makes them feel useful, and it promotes happiness within themselves, too. Even if they can’t help, they’ll reply kindly and could suggest someone who can.

2. Don’t Make Them Guess

When asking for help, don’t make the person guess what you want. Make sure you’re clear about what you want to make the assistance beneficial for you both. If you want someone to show you how to do something, tell them so that they don’t do it for you, instead.

Likewise, be clear about whether you need to discuss a topic or if you need help with a task. Sometimes it can be unclear when you’re describing it, and you assume the other person knows. Be as specific as possible so that you get the help you need.

3. Think About the Timing

You don’t want to disrupt someone’s important tasks to ask for help. Consider their work schedule or if they’re busy during a specific part of the day, and avoid asking during those times.

If you’re unsure when a good time would be, you can work around it. Tell the person that you’d like to ask something and you’d like to know when a good time is. The time might be right now, but otherwise, you’ll have a plan that works for both of you.

4. Consider Who the Best Person is to Ask for Help

Once you’ve figured out what you need, be mindful of who you ask. You’ll ask different people based on the kind of help you need. If you require specific information, consider if you know an expert in that area or if you need to seek a professional opinion.

When you need help moving heavy furniture, think about who is strong enough and less likely to have an accident. If you’re unsure who can help you, start by asking around to see if someone you know has an idea. You might have to ask multiple people before getting the help you’re looking for.

5. Offer Assistance to Others

People are more likely to help you if you’ve helped them before. It also makes it easier to ask. When you helped someone in the past, you won’t be as nervous or afraid when it’s your turn to need assistance.

Offer your time and talents to others without making them ask to create a support system you can turn to. You’ve been in the position of needing help, so don’t wait for them to ask before you step in and offer.

6. Be Appreciative and Show Gratitude

Anytime someone helps you remember to show appreciation and gratitude. Thank the person when they accept your request for help and reiterate how much you appreciate it. If possible, reward them for helping you out with a little gift to show how thankful you are.

Being appreciative and thankful is not only polite, but it levels the playing field in a way. If you offer a gift, you won’t feel as indebted to the person who helped you. Plus, it puts you in a position where you can ask for it again when it’s needed.

7. Be Mindful of the Way You Ask for Help

The way you ask makes a difference in the other person’s willingness to lend aid. Be mindful by not making the favor sound like a command. You might have to give context so that the person knows they’re not obligated to help.

Be kind and humble when you ask to promote empathy from the person you ask. It shows that you’re vulnerable, which will make the other person more likely to agree.

Be honest about why you need a hand. Honesty is a sign of respect, and it shows that you’re open-minded and trusting. Be willing to listen and learn from the person who helps you.

8. Explain Why You Need Assistance and What You’ve Already Tried

People are more likely to help you when they know why you need help. Instead of being vague, be specific about why you need their assistance. They’re more likely to say yes because they won’t feel like you’re using them.

Tell them what you’ve already tried so that they know what didn’t work yet. Knowing what you already did can help the person troubleshoot your issue and find a solution.

9. Prepare Them for the Question

Don’t just blurt out that you need help from someone. Instead, prepare the person for the request by telling them that you need to ask for a favor.

The person won’t feel blindsided or like you’re putting them on the spot. It gives them a moment to process what’s coming instead of catching them off guard.

10. Show That You’ve Already Tried on Your Own

People are more likely to help you if they know you’ve already tried. By making it clear that you’ve attempted it, they’ll understand that you did what you could.

They don’t want to feel like you’re asking them to do your work for you. However, the person will be happy to help if they know you gave it a shot.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Ask for Help (Even If You Don’t Think You Need It)

Everyone needs assistance sometimes, so consider what you need and how it could make your life easier. Then be courageous and ask for help. Once you receive the aid, you’ll realize how much it helped your progress. Be appreciative and show gratitude, and you’ll develop a helpful support system.

9 Ways Letting Go of Judgment Can Increase Empathy

July 6, 2022 by Chris Butler

It’s perilous to develop an ego that thinks you’re superior to others. Humans tend to be judgmental by nature, and it’s ingrained in you since birth. Some people tend to be more hypercritical than others, but everyone does it in some capacity. Letting go of this air of superiority can help increase your kindness towards others.

You may not realize the dangers of being so negative all the time, as it can affect your ability to empathize with others. You know you should walk a mile in someone’s shoes before judging them. Yet so many people don’t utilize this ability, and their empathetic side lacks.

The Dangerous Game of Judgment of Others

Assume that you’re at a play at your child’s school. You notice that a family there is not dressed the best. Their clothes are older and faded, and they need a shower. You immediately start to judge them based on their appearance.

You don’t know that these people are homeless and live in their cars due to a job loss. They don’t have access to running water, and showering is a challenge. So, it was hard for them to come, given their circumstances, but they wanted to see their child’s play.

Now, how do you feel about these people? If you knew their story, would you have condemned them so harshly? Passing judgment on others blocks your empathetic abilities, and you can’t be a decent human being when you’re so critical of others.

Nine Ways of Letting Go of Judgment

Since having a critical nature is commonplace in society, it’s not an easy habit to break. Here are some things you can do to stop being so hypercritical and enhance your empathetic side.

1. Never Judge a Book by Its Cover

Being judgmental can be detrimental to all aspects of life. A plumber wanted to take on an apprentice to teach the trade. Two men showed up for the interviews. One man was polished and had a suit on with a resume in hand.

The other person was rather rough-looking, and he was covered in tattoos. The plumber automatically assumed the rougher-looking man wouldn’t be a good worker, so he hired the more polished person. Within a few months, the one who appeared so put together on the outside showed his true colors, and he stole over $20,000.

Feeling regretful, he called the second guy and asked him to work for him. That was over thirty years ago, and he is now running the place after the plumber’s death. When you let go of criticism, you see people differently, as things are never as they seem.

2. Don’t Become the Victim

Have you ever played the victim? Sure, everyone has a time or two in their life when they use this card. Sadly, some folks use it as a crutch and a way to survive.

If you fail, it’s easy to point the finger at everyone else and blame them rather than take responsibility for your wrongdoings. When you blame everyone else, you also become critical and judge them. Why do people feel the need to focus on external circumstances so much?

Did you know that playing the victim is a damaging and self-defeating behavior often tied to some mental weaknesses? According to the National Library of Medicine, you often find this behavior in someone with lower self-esteem, minimal empathy, and the need to control a situation. They can present as selfish or narcissistic.

When you start taking responsibility for your actions, not only will you have personal growth, but you will bring out your compassionate side with yourself and others.

3. Watch Who’s in Your Inner Circle

Birds of a feather always flock together, as you don’t see blue jays hanging out with sparrows. The friends you keep say something about you, and if your friends pass judgment on others, you will feel that it’s acceptable to be so critical. Sure, everyone likes to gossip occasionally, and trash talk can be exciting, but it doesn’t feel good when you’re the topic of interest.

When you alter your inner crowd, you will see a difference in your empathy towards others. You will turn away from toxic gossip and learn to speak positively. Fill your inner circle with positive and ambitious people who have no time to pass judgment on others, as they’re too busy living life to the fullest.

4. Stop Driving Good Folks Away from You

People are attracted to those who are positive and radiate joy. When you’re negative and have a black cloud of doom hanging over you, you will only attract people of the same mindset. You can drive good folks away from you when you have a critical attitude.

5. Don’t Allow Judgment to Cause You to Accumulate Guilt

It seems odd that when you criticize others, you accumulate guilt inside. Have you ever been negative towards someone and then felt guilty about it later? When you don’t know this person’s story, you have no right to be critical or mean towards this individual.

This allows negativity to build inside you from all the guilt you carry. Guilt is a heavy load to carry. How can you show others your compassionate and empathetic side when always pointing out flaws and imperfections? Letting go of these guilty feelings can be an excellent place to start.

6. Live with Consciousness

When you’re consciously aware of the things going on around you, you have a different view of the world. Understanding the true nature of items helps you to realize that everyone is human and fallible, including yourself. Diversity is the spice of life, and the world would be boring if everyone were the same.

Having folks from various cultures, religions, and beliefs different from yours only adds to the dynamic that makes this world a fascinating place. Looking through these lenses of appreciation, you see that it doesn’t equate to judgment.

When you develop this mindset, it becomes more challenging for you to be hypercritical as you appreciate the differences in one another and see them as strengths and not challenges.

7. Think Optimistically When Letting Go

The age-old debate about whether the glass is half-full or half-empty has much bearing on your outlook in life. The beauty is that if you don’t know which side of the debate you fall on, you always have the option of knowing that you can refill the cup at any time. When you develop an optimistic outlook, you start to believe that you can change the future.

So, what if the glass is half-empty? Can you refill it anytime you want? Wouldn’t it be nice if positivity was something that you could attain by the snap of your fingers?

It’s challenging to be positive in such a hostile world, but the good news is you can control the negativity. When you change your mindset and stop allowing yourself to see things through a pessimistic lens, you will change your view of people.

Watch yourself become more empathetic as you let the critical side of you fall by the way. It’s effortless to accept others and their indifference when you’re optimistic.

8. Letting Go of Stereotyping and Labeling

Why do people need to categorize one another and label folks? You define this person as rich, while this one is poor. Why does money equal quality and worth in this life?

According to Dr. Monnica Williams from the Moment US Institute, she states that these behaviors are part of a dysfunctional class system. Using this mindset, you see others you judge at a disadvantaged or advantaged status. When you proximate with many types of people, the stereotypes fall, by the way, as does the attitude of superiority.

Conversely, you don’t need to have a penny to be rich beyond compare. When your heart is full of love and empathy for others, your value is priceless. How many good people have you stopped from entering your life simply because you put them in a category of unworthiness according to your standards?

9. Love One Another As You Love Yourself

Every action you make in this life comes with consequences, whether in your words or thoughts. You know how hurtful it is when you’re the center of gossip, so why do something that would hurt others? When you’re overly critical of people, you will bring the same judgment onto you.

Remember, the Golden Rule says to “Do unto others as you want them to do to you,” If you live by this as a guideline, you will see that the world is a much better place.

Final Thoughts on Increasing Empathy by Letting Go of Judgment

While there are aspects in the world you cannot change, there are many things that you can alter. Take, for instance, a person who needs glasses. Without these corrective lenses, it’s very challenging to see clearly. However, everything suddenly becomes vibrant and focused when they put on their glasses.

Letting go of the blinders of negativity and criticism, you start to see and appreciate the diversity in others. You’re more empathetic to their needs and don’t judge them based on differences. You never know what another person is going through, so be kind.

7 Reasons to Try the Autoimmune Protocol Diet (and How)

July 6, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

The Autoimmune Protocol Diet can help improve the symptoms of autoimmune disorders. The symptoms cause intense discomfort and worsening conditions. Finding ways to make it better is essential to finding happiness and wellness again.

The Autoimmune Protocol Diet, or AIP diet, eliminates foods that trigger inflammation for 90 days before reintroducing them individually. You reintroduce foods at a predetermined schedule to learn what foods your body can handle.

Autoimmune protocol diet helps reduce inflammation, pain, and other symptoms of autoimmune diseases. If you have lupus, inflammatory bowel disease, celiac disease, or rheumatoid arthritis, this diet can help. It also helps with other autoimmune diseases, including type 1 diabetes and psoriasis.

Knowing the reasons to try the autoimmune protocol diet will convince you to make a healthy lifestyle change. However, you also must know how to implement it.

What Causes Autoimmune Diseases?

A healthy immune system produces antibodies that attack harmful or foreign cells. People who have an autoimmune disorder produce antibodies that attack healthy cells and tissues instead. The attack of healthy cells can cause joint pain, fatigue, abdominal pain, diarrhea, brain fog, and nerve or tissue damage.

These diseases can occur because of a variety of factors, including:

Genetics
Infection
Inflammation
Medication use
Stress
Damage to the gut barrier

Why You Should Try the Autoimmune Protocol Diet

The AIP diet can reduce many of the symptoms of autoimmune diseases. These reasons will give you all the motivation you need to give it a try.

1. The Autoimmune Protocol Diet Helps Heal Leaky Gut

Damage to the gut barrier can cause autoimmune diseases, but it can also be a symptom. Research shows a link between inflammation and gut permeability, explaining the correlation.

If you have a healthy gut, you’ll have low permeability, providing a barrier between your bloodstream and foreign particles. However, an unhealthy gut causes high permeability, allowing food or waste remains to leak into the blood.

Once the particles make it into the blood, they can cause inflammation and eventually lead to autoimmune disorders. Experts say that foods influence your gut’s health, including its function and immunity.

2. Research Proves That the Autoimmune Protocol Diet Works

In an 11-week study of fifteen people, participants experienced fewer symptoms by the end. Another study showed that participants experienced improved bowel frequency, stress levels, and physical ability. Furthermore, participants reported an improvement in their overall quality of life.

3. The Autoimmune Protocol Diet Reduces Inflammation, Pain, and Other Symptoms

Autoimmune diseases are incurable, but you can find ways to ease the symptoms. The autoimmune protocol diet reduces inflammation, easing many other discomforts. Eliminating a few foods from your diet and choosing nutrient-dense replacements has a powerful effect.

4. Helps Determine the Foods That Trigger Your Symptoms

If you can figure out which foods cause the most problems, you can start to reduce your symptoms. Once you clear your system of the potential triggers, you slowly reintroduce them. Doing it slowly allows you to identify the specific foods to avoid long-term.

5. You Fill Up on Healthy Foods if You Follow the Autoimmune Protocol Diet

When you eliminate foods, you’ll replace them with healthy options. It promotes eating nutrient-dense foods that make you healthier overall.

With the shift in your eating habits, you’ll quickly start feeling better. The healthy foods allowed in this diet can protect against chronic diseases, too.

6. Helps You Learn About Yourself on the Autoimmune Protocol Diet

This diet can help you learn more about your body and understand how it works. When you know how your body reacts to specific foods, you’ll feel more connected to who you are.

7. The Autoimmune Protocol Diet Teaches You the Foods That Enhance Your Health

It’s a learning opportunity when you eliminate foods and replace them with healthy options. You might learn about unhealthy foods and learn to appreciate healthy replacements. Additionally, it can help you subconsciously make healthier choices.

How to Start the Autoimmune Protocol Diet

The AIP protocol diet eliminates foods that could cause inflammation or trigger the symptoms of autoimmune disease. This diet isn’t supposed to last long-term, as you’ll slowly reintroduce the foods. By the end, the only foods you’ll have eliminated are the ones that trigger your symptoms.

The Elimination Phase

During the elimination phase, you stop eating the following foods:

Grains, including wheat, oats, rice, and corn
Nuts, seeds, and seed-based spices
Eggs
Coffee
Butter and ghee
Most oils, except coconut, olive, and avocado oil
Legumes, including lentils, black beans, chickpeas, and green beans
Dairy
Refined and processed sugars, including chocolate
Nightshade vegetables, including tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes, and peppers
Food additives
Thickeners and gums
Soy
Alcohol
Tobacco

Additionally, you should avoid taking certain medications during the elimination phase. Avoid non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as ibuprofen, naproxen, diclofenac, and high-dose aspirin.

While in this phase, focus on eating fresh produce, meat and fish, avocado, bone broth, vinegar, honey, sweet potatoes, fresh herbs, and other whole foods. You might notice a change within three weeks, but sometimes it takes up to 90 days.

The Reintroduction Phase

Once the elimination phase is over, you can start reintroducing the foods. You’ll know you can move on to this phrase when you notice a significant improvement in symptoms and overall well-being.

Reintroduce foods one at a time, giving your body a chance to see what it can handle. When you do it one at a time, you’ll see which foods trigger your symptoms. Choose the food you’ll reintroduce, and then eat it multiple times on the testing day. Then, avoid it for five or six days.

Then, eat a small amount, and watch for a reaction within 15 minutes. If you have symptoms, stop eating the food immediately. However, if no symptoms appear, eat a slightly bigger portion and monitor your body.

Wait about a week before reintroducing another food. This timeframe gives you a chance to notice any changes. If you introduce another food too soon, you might not know which foods cause the flare-ups.

The goal of the reintroduction phase is to figure out which foods trigger your symptoms. If you reintroduce multiple foods at once, you won’t have a chance to determine your tolerance. Your tolerances may change over time, so you may have to repeat the autoimmune protocol diet.

Common Triggers That Cause Autoimmune Flare-Ups

There are many food triggers, but some are more common than others. Once you identify your triggers, you can make an effort to avoid them.

Histamines

Your body produces chemicals called histamines as an allergy response. It also requires the enzymes Histamine N-methyltransferase and diamine oxidase to break down the histamine. If you don’t consume enough enzymes, it can cause histamine overflow or intolerance.

Histamine intolerance can cause a rash, difficulty breathing, a runny nose, digestive problems, or joint pain. It is similar to an allergic reaction but isn’t the result of an allergen. Some of the high-histamine foods that can cause problems for you include:

Cheese
Chocolates
Nuts
Bone broth
Fermented foods
Spinach
Mushrooms
Smoked meat

Fermentable Sugars

Fermentable sugars include Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides, and Polyols. To shorten it up, many people use the acronym FODMAPS.

Fermented foods can lead to uncomfortable symptoms, including pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea, or constipation. If you notice these symptoms after reintroducing fermentable sugars, it indicates a FODMAP intolerance. Some fermentable sugar foods include:

Bananas
Legumes
Garlic
Onion
Asparagus
Artichoke
Mushrooms
Sauerkraut
Cabbage

Foods That Release Mold Toxins

Mold releases mold toxins called mycotoxins. These toxins cause inflammation because those with autoimmune disorders struggle to flush them out. It triggers or worsens symptoms, causing discomfort and other issues.

The foods that are high in mycotoxins include:

Nuts
Dried fruit
Corn
Rice
Coffee
Processed meat

Potential Downsides to the Autoimmune Protocol Diet

This diet is beneficial for figuring out which foods trigger your symptoms, but there can be some downsides. As an elimination diet, it is heavily restrictive and hard to follow. It also makes social situations difficult, as it’s hard to be picky in restaurants or at a friend’s house.

While research backs the autoimmune protocol diet, there is no guarantee that it’ll reduce inflammation or symptoms in everyone. All situations differ, so don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work for you.

If you notice an improvement in symptoms, you may be afraid to reintroduce any foods. This situation is problematic because you may lack essential nutrients. Long-term restriction can result in deficiencies and poor health.

If you struggle with the reintroduction phase, don’t hesitate to seek help. You can reach out to a registered dietitian or another health professional for advice.

Final Thoughts on Trying the Autoimmune Protocol Diet

The autoimmune protocol diet can help reduce symptoms of autoimmune disorders. It involves two phrases that help you figure out the foods that trigger inflammation and other symptoms. Once you know which foods to avoid, you’ll feel better overall.

While there are a few downsides to this diet, the benefits can change your life. Be careful and remember to reintroduce one new food each week. You must reach your nutrition requirements to stay healthy.

Health and wellness are a journey, so don’t get frustrated if it takes time to accomplish it. Focus on making healthy choices for your life and figuring out what you can do to feel better. Start with your diet because it can affect your mental and physical health.

7 Relationship Behaviors a Gaslighter Will Usually Display

July 5, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

If you’ve ever been involved with a gaslighter, you know that they’re clever, deceitful individuals. Gaslighting happens often in relationships, but most people don’t realize it immediately. It’s a form of narcissistic abuse that distorts the truth and makes someone question their reality. The perpetrator’s goal with these tactics is complete control over their victims.

Imagine being on the receiving end of the gaslighting if this sounds terrifying. People who desire to gaslight their partner don’t have their best interests at heart. Unfortunately, narcissists prey on those they perceive as weak, vulnerable, or highly empathetic. They target these individuals because they believe they can easily manipulate or control them.

It isn’t always obvious when someone gaslights you, as they use subtle techniques at first. However, you can see right through their abusive behaviors by knowing the warning signs. Hopefully, this will help you avoid getting involved with a gaslighter.

7 Common Behaviors a Gaslighter Will Display in Relationships

These habits may reveal a toxic person.

1. The Gaslighting Controls Every Aspect of Your Life.

A gaslighter craves complete dominance and power over its victims. Therefore, they will try to convince you that you cannot do anything for yourself. They will manipulate you into giving up your phone and computer passwords under “protecting you.”

However, their true motive stems from fear of losing control of you. They want to ensure you aren’t talking to anyone else to keep you in an iron grip. They also will want to know your location and movements at all times. In addition, they may ask for access to your bank accounts or financial statements. Their actions don’t come from a place of love or want to keep you safe, despite what they tell you.

Unfortunately, a gaslighter lives in constant fear and anxiety and doesn’t feel in control of their own lives. They take this out on others by isolating them and dictating their every move.

2. A Gaslighter Will Always Act Like A Victim.

A gaslighter will never admit fault for their mistakes in a relationship, no matter how severe. They blame everyone else, especially their partner when something happens. The manipulator plays the victim card to avoid responsibility while getting their SO to feel sorry for them.

Inside, they’re still emotionally immature and can’t make adult decisions. Therefore, they will constantly shift the blame to others to perpetuate their constructed reality. By destroying their partner’s self-confidence and identity, they try to control the narrative as much as possible.

After all, if their partner believes they’re actually crazy or mentally ill, it’s easy for the narcissist to play the victim. The gaslighter will accuse or misunderstand them of being wrong and display a “poor me” attitude.

3. They Constantly Downplay Your Concerns or Needs.

Narcissists and manipulators only look out for themselves and see others as tools to use for their benefit. So, they will always deflect your concerns if you have been tricked into a relationship with a gaslighter. They will always make it seem like you’re blowing things out of proportion, even when you have legitimate worries. Ironically, they have a calm, aloof attitude about life, except for their needs.

4. They Never Hesitate to Point Out Your Flaws.

Another toxic behavior that a narcissist will display involves putting you down whenever possible. They may resort to name-calling, public humiliation, or sarcastic remarks to lower self-esteem. The perpetrator may also give “backhanded compliments” to their victims.

For example, they might say, “You look so much healthier after losing weight!” As you can see, this is an insult masquerading as a compliment. Narcissists do this to make you feel inferior and powerless, but it only hides their insecurities.

They may even joke after patronizing you, even though they meant every word. They can only gain power by trampling on others and will take any opportunity to do so.

5. A Gaslighter Never Follows Through On Their Promises.

Another typical behavior of a gaslighter involves blatant lying or being flaky about responsibilities. They may say one thing and do another to confuse and control you. They always need something but can’t ever offer anything in return. With them, relationships only exist to serve their needs and nothing more.

If you attempt to confront them about their lack of commitment, they will deny any accusations. The gaslighter will say you misunderstood them or that they never promised anything in the first place. After a while, you will learn not to trust them because they never keep their word.

6. The Gaslighting Makes You Question Your Reality.

This is a hallmark of any gaslighter since they can only feel powerful by manipulating others. They confuse and destabilize you to cloud your judgment to achieve their goal. The more you question reality, the greater your dependence on them. They want you to feel so small and helpless that you bow down to them, unable to make your own decisions.

However, these master manipulators can only carry out their plans if you let them. So avoid intimate relationships with gaslighters, as they never have good intentions.

7. A Gaslighter Will Twist Your Words and Perspective.

Finally, gaslighting involves twisting the story just enough so that you can no longer discern lies from the truth. If you remember something happening one way, they will say you have a bad memory. It’s either their way or the highway, so they will never accept your version of events.

They may not even know the absolute truth since they’re compulsive liars. Sadly, you can’t believe anything they say because they live in an alternate reality built on confusion and manipulation.

Final Thoughts on Warning Signs of a Gaslighter

Sadly, many people don’t recognize the red flags of a gaslighter until it’s too late. They may initially seem charming and loving, but it’s all just smoke and mirrors. They only put on this disguise to trap you in their web of lies. Before you know it, you’re caught up in a nightmare of manipulation, emotional abuse, and tarnished self-esteem. It’s best to avoid gaslighters by remaining aware of these warning signs and avoiding their mind games.

5 Reasons It’s OK to Put off Dating After Divorce

July 5, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

You probably don’t consider dating a priority after getting a divorce for many reasons. Separating from your ex-wife or husband takes a huge toll on your mental and emotional health.

It can take a while to heal from such a life-altering event, especially if you’ve been together for many years. So, please be gentle with yourself and ease your way back into the dating scene on your own time.

Some people may not even want to date after getting a divorce, opting for the single life instead. The thought of being in a long-term relationship again may cause great anxiety or abandonment issues. Plus, being single can offer new opportunities for self-discovery and allow for expansion in other areas of life.

5 Common Reasons People Avoid Dating After a Divorce

So, don’t sweat it if you want to hold off on dating temporarily or permanently. You have plenty of reasons to savor the single life after a divorce, such as the following.

1. They Want to Rediscover Themselves After a Divorce.

People who have gotten divorced often have no energy for another relationship. They need time to heal and figure out their identity apart from their ex-wife or husband.

After years of being together, couples may feel like one person rather than separate selves, making divorce even more painful. So, dating isn’t even on the table for most people who recently divorced.

They need ample time to process their feelings before considering jumping into the dating scene. Being single can feel scary again, so most people lean on their support system for comfort.

When not spending time with friends and family, they may want to revisit old hobbies or interests. For instance, going on hiking trips may help them heal while also restoring their sense of self.

2. They’re Still Grieving From Their Last Marriage.

Please don’t rush into the dating scene if you’re still healing after a divorce. This process may require months or years before you feel ready to begin dating again. Usually, people go through five specific stages in their emotional recovery: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

Of course, it isn’t a linear process – you may skip one phase or oscillate between them depending on the day. You may feel wholly numb or experience every emotion at once, but your feelings deserve attention. After you and your spouse agree on getting a divorce, you may feel numb or that it’s all just a terrible nightmare. Being in denial is a natural reaction to a stressor or loss in life.

After a while, you may start to feel angry at your spouse for doing this to you. You may lash out at them or engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the pain. Then, you try to reason with yourself and figure out where things went wrong.

Perhaps you could’ve saved the marriage if you had done things differently. After coming to terms with the reality of divorce, the depression starts to set in. You may lose your sense of purpose and identity, and the loneliness can feel overwhelming. However, after a while, you start to accept the divorce and realize that you will heal in time.

As you begin to heal, you may start thinking about rebuilding your life. Perhaps your optimism returns, and you feel a renewed excitement about the possibilities in life. Everyone gets there at their own pace after giving themselves space and permission to honor their feelings.

3. Dating May Seem Scary or Overwhelming.

Some people may choose to avoid dating because of the uncomfortable feelings it triggers. The prospect of dating can seem overwhelming after being with the same person for many years. Your ex knew you to the core, and your heart may not feel ready for that vulnerability with someone new.

Although, some studies show that mothers, in particular, benefit from high-quality relationships post-divorce. The research found that people in healthy relationships after divorce fare better than those who remain single. However, low-quality relationships can cause significant reductions in mental health after a failed marriage.

So, to increase your odds of finding a stable, happy partnership, it’s essential to mend your heart first. After doing so, you’ll be better positioned to decide who to allow into your life.

4. They Have Kids And Want to Respect Their Feelings.

If you have children with your ex, it can complicate things when it comes to dating. You want to ensure the children get along with your new partner, for one. You also don’t want to introduce an unfamiliar person into the family dynamic too quickly after a divorce. Children have a difficult time coming to terms with their parents separating.

So, you should consider your children’s feelings before bringing home a new partner. Have they had sufficient time to heal from the divorce? If you’re in a new relationship, make sure to ask about your children’s feelings before introducing them.

5. They’re Not Sure What They Want in a Dating Relationship.

Indecisiveness marks another common reason someone might delay dating after marriage. They didn’t have to think about dating after being with the same person for a while. So, they probably have no idea what they want in another partner after a divorce. Once they’ve healed from the heartache, they may decide to date around for a while before settling into a serious partnership.

Final Thoughts on Why People Don’t Start Dating After a Divorce

You’re not alone if you have no interest in dating after recently leaving a marriage. Most people don’t want to welcome a new person into their life while still reeling from the shock of a breakup. Especially if you’ve been married for decades, the idea of dating someone else may not even cross your mind. If you have children with your ex, that complicates matters even further.

Not to mention, you may want to spend time by yourself, simply reconnecting with your soul. Also, even if you’re ready to dip your feet into the dating pool, you may feel unsure about what you want. Give yourself time and space to heal; the right person will come along when you least expect it.

4 Ways Playing Hard to Get Can Make You More Attractive

July 5, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Did you know playing hard to get can make you more attractive to potential mates? It may not seem like a winning strategy, but being unavailable increases your desirability. As they say, some people love the thrill of a good chase, especially in relationships. It makes the reward (you) more enticing when a partner must work harder to gain your affection.

Of course, not everyone enjoys these types of mating games, especially if they’re older and want to settle down. However, some people find that the excitement of pursuing a love interest makes them even more attractive. As long as you don’t string the person along, there’s no harm in having a little fun!

But why exactly does playing hard to get make you more appealing? We’ll go over why being elusive can make someone more interested in you. However, it can have the opposite effect if you’re too mysterious or inaccessible. We will also discuss the downsides of each behavior below.

4 Ways Playing Hard to Get Makes You More Desirable

1. It Increases Anticipation if You Appear Unavailable to Advances.

Playing hard to get creates a challenge for your potential partner. Most people enjoy having something to work towards, especially if it means winning the affection of their crush. So, if you seem unavailable or aloof, it may keep your love interest on the edge of their seat. Even thinking about going on a date with you or experiencing that first kiss can increase anticipation.

Just fantasizing about a reward boosts dopamine levels, which may explain why people love a good chase. As they say, nothing good in life ever comes easily, which also applies to relationships. If someone knows you’re interested but can’t have you, it will only increase their attraction towards you.

How This Could Backfire:

There’s a fine line between acting secretive and uninterested in the dating world. If you create too much anticipation, the other person might tire of the game eventually. It only works if your love interest believes they have a real shot at being with you. Otherwise, building anticipation and desire for no reason will only lead them on and end in disappointment.

2. Playing Hard to Get Makes You Seem More “In Demand.”

According to research, if you’re too available, it can make you appear desperate to prospective suitors. However, playing hard to get can make you seem more “valuable” and attractive. As humans, we naturally want what we can’t have, including potential partners. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that playing hard to get increases “mate value.”

In other words, the more selective you are, the more sexually desirable you will seem to romantic interests. The study also revealed that participants made more significant efforts to continue dating potential mates they perceived as hard to get.

Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and Dean’s Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at the University of Rochester and co-author of the study, says: “We all want to date people with higher mate value. We’re trying to make the best deal we can.”

How This Could Backfire:

If you’re too selective with potential mates, it could discourage them from pursuing a relationship. You want to let them know you feel a connection but not act overly eager or available. After all, they will only keep up the chase if they feel confident they have a chance with you.

3. Being Unavailable Adds a Level of Mystery and Uncertainty.

Playing hard to get makes dating more fun and less predictable. If your crush doesn’t know what to expect, it will pique their curiosity and keep them interested in pursuing you. For instance, perhaps you wait a few days to text or call them back after going on a date.

This will make you seem intriguing and make your potential lover even crazier about you! A healthy level of uncertainty creates excitement and a bit of urgency since your beau won’t want you to slip through their fingers.

How This Could Backfire:

Being too elusive can make your suitor think you’ve lost interest in dating them. For example, if you wait too long to text them back, they may take that as a sign you’ve moved on. You want to create a bit of tension but not become so withdrawn or unavailable that they lose attraction.

4. Playing Hard to Get Gives Off a Vibe of Confidence and Independence.

Most people love an independent man or woman because it shows they’re comfortable in their skin. Playing hard to get can make you seem confident on your own and that you don’t need anyone to complete you. This goes back to the idea that people tend to want what they can’t have.

If you show interest in someone but continue living your life normally, you instantly become more attractive. You have shown potential partners that you’re open to a relationship but know your worth.

How This Could Backfire:

Of course, being too avoidant could make you seem arrogant or cocky. It can also send mixed signals if you act interested in someone but give them the cold shoulder. It’s great to feel self-confident, but not if it creates a barrier between you and others. Make sure to pursue a relationship only when you feel ready because playing with others’ emotions never ends well.

Final Thoughts on Why Playing Hard to Get Makes You More Appealing

Some people feel more attracted to those who play hard to get, perhaps because it makes dating more exciting. However, it only works if both people have a genuine connection and feel interested in one another. After all, being too detached may cause a potential mate to run in the other direction.

It seems that playing hard to get increases attraction for several reasons. It enhances anticipation and uncertainty about dating you since your partner must work harder to gain your approval. Being aloof and mysterious also makes a relationship with you more valuable. So, if you want to gauge someone’s interest in you, playing hard to get can reveal their true feelings.

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