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How to Reframe a Negative Situation, According to Psychologists

August 30, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Your mindset can determine whether you experience negativity or positive thinking. If you can reframe a negative situation, you can see the good in any experience, helping you focus on happiness. Your perception can change any experience, but you must know how to reframe a situation.

Reframing a negative mindset can help you live a fun and positive life. Making it happen for you requires putting in the work to shift your thoughts. Eventually, it’ll become a habit and won’t take as much effort, and the benefits are well worth it.

Your life will improve when you reframe the situation. It doesn’t require a drastic life change, either, as it’s all about a mindset shift. It changes your life experiences without changing the circumstances.

Learning to reframe your mindset is one of the best things you can do to improve happiness in your life. It helps you figure out how to be more positive each day as you accomplish your tasks. Reframing a negative situation takes effort, but it’s worth it, and you’ll be glad you did it.

What is Negative Thinking?

Research shows that humans have anywhere from 12,000 to 50,000 thoughts each day. It also indicates that about 80% of those thoughts are negative. With never-ending sad news, societal pressures, and daily stressors, it’s easy to see why you experience so much negativity.

Negative thinking involves having a pessimistic outlook about yourself, the people in your life, and the world around you. It can happen to anyone, especially if you’re experiencing stress. Even positive people experience this thinking sometimes.

You might notice a constant buzz of criticism flowing through your mind. Sometimes it’ll also involve nitpicking and insults.

If you don’t reframe your thoughts, it interferes with your ability to function. Pessimism can become a habit, making it hard to do what’s best for you and your life.

When you allow negative thinking to become a habit, it leads to other issues, including depression and anxiety. If you can reframe a negative situation, you’ll notice an improvement in your overall mental health. It also offers other benefits, including:

decreased risk of anxiety and depression
improved cardiovascular health
increased life span
improved coping skills

What Causes Negative Thinking?

Sometimes the people you spend your time with can contribute to your mindset. You can give in to the negativity of those around you.

Or, you can refocus your thoughts and reframe the negative situation. You might think your environment is to blame, but you can make a change at any time.

While genetics contribute to your mindset, it only accounts for around 40%. The other 60% is up to you to decide and control. This statistic indicates that your choices and thought processes are the only reasons for negative thinking.

Shifting your mindset will work quickly, and you’ll continue to reap the benefits as you continue reframing negative situations. If you don’t reframe, you’ll experience pessimism and might frequently complain about your life. When you reframe, you can work to find the good things in your life.

How to Reframe a Negative Situation

Reframing a negative situation requires identifying your feelings at the moment. It might be hard to shift your thought process, but it’ll get easier the more you do it. You can learn to control the situation rather than letting it control your life.

You can change your life to improve your mindset without seeking outside help. It’ll help you reframe negativity, making every situation work for you and your life.

1 – Acknowledge Your Support System

When you express gratitude for your support system, it’ll help you think more positively. You’ll feel grateful for these people and all they bring to your life. It’ll also help you realize what your life would be like if they weren’t there.

2 – Identify Negative Thinking

Reframing negative situations requires identifying the experience. There are a few things to look for, including:

focusing only on the negative aspects of an experience
blaming yourself as the reason for the adverse event
always assuming the worst outcome will occur
viewing situations as only good or bad, leaving out a middle ground

Make a conscious effort to look for these forms of thinking throughout the day. Anytime it occurs, try to shift your mindset by looking for something positive.

3 – Determine Which Situations and Thoughts to Reframe

Decide which negative thoughts to reframe first. Think about the area of your life that produces the most negativity. Sometimes, writing in a journal helps when you feel down about a situation.

You can look back to pinpoint the issues in your life. Consider your career, a relationship, or any other part of your life. You can overcome the toxic thoughts once you identify the situations to focus on.

4 – Find the Bright Side

Reframing a negative situation requires finding the bright side in every situation. It doesn’t mean that you’re happy about what happened. Instead, it shows acceptance and a willingness to look for the good.

When you experience hard times, challenge yourself to find something positive. You may have learned a lesson or improved your skills in some way. Thinking this way helps you stay positive and ease negative thoughts.

Sometimes the best part of a negative situation is getting an opportunity to talk to someone you likely wouldn’t have otherwise.

5 – Focus on Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can make all the difference in reframing a negative situation. Recalling all the good things in your life can improve your life experiences.

Consider writing a weekly list of all the positive parts of your life. It’ll help you refocus at the moment. You’ll also remember all the things you’re grateful for when encountering a negative situation. Rather than focusing on the adverse aspects, you’ll recall good thoughts.

You can also include good things that happened to you or the world around you when you write your list. It’ll help solidify the good experiences in your mind, giving you something positive to shift your focus. You don’t have to write many things on your list but focus on getting at least a few positive aspects written out.

6 – Practice Positivity

Practicing positive thinking is a beneficial way to reframe negative situations. It’ll help you develop new habits, letting go of harmful behaviors that trigger or exacerbate a pessimistic mindset. Force yourself to be positive, and you’ll notice that it feels good and is easier than you thought.

7 – Learn About and Identify Thought Distortions

Sometimes, negative situations trigger thought distortions or traps. Distortions occur when you fall into negative thought patterns that distort your mindset. These patterns also influence your emotions and can cause you to spiral into negativity.

Thought distortions include these things:

Polarized or all-or-nothing thinking occurs when you habitually think in extremes. You believe that it is only good or bad with nothing in between.
Mind-reading: You assume you know people’s thoughts, and your assumptions are often negative.
Using feelings as facts: If you think your feelings are the truth, it leads to negativity because it’s an unreliable indicator of reality. This distortion is also sometimes called emotional reasoning.
Overgeneralization: This distortion occurs when you conclude about one event or situation and apply it to all other experiences.
Assuming the worst: If you believe the worst possible outcome will occur no matter what, you’re guilty of this thought distortion.
Personalization: This distortion involves inaccurately taking things personally. In these cases, the situation likely wasn’t connected to you.

If you can identify these thought distortions, you can stop them as they threaten to take over. Remind yourself that these thoughts are unhelpful and likely inaccurate. This reminder can make a difference in helping you reframe a negative situation.

8 – Set Goals

Setting goals to reframe your thoughts can help you have a task to focus on. Think about the big picture and consider what you can change to live your dream life. Once you determine what you can change, set goals to make it happen.

Having the goals in mind will help you push away negativity and persevere through everything. It’ll also help you forgive yourself for mistakes because you’ll still have your plan to give you hope.

9 – Let Go of the Idea of Perfection

No one is perfect, and expecting perfection of yourself leads to a negative mindset. Anytime something doesn’t go perfectly, you might spiral and set yourself back. However, if you can let go of striving for perfection, you can reframe any situation.

It’ll help you accept when things didn’t go as planned, allowing you to prepare for moving forward. When you think about what you can do better next time, you’ll experience less negativity.

Final Thoughts on How to Reframe a Negative Situation, According to Psychologists

You can reframe a negative situation and help yourself find happiness. When you reframe, you can focus on all the good in your life.

A positive mindset not only makes you happier but can also help you focus on the essential parts of your life. When you focus on what’s important, all your life improves. Use these tips to learn how to reframe a negative situation to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.

How to Do a Happiness Check Up (and When You Should)

August 29, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Life is full of ups and downs for everyone, and it’s good to check in with yourself sometimes. A happiness check-up can help you assess your situation and see if you should make changes. The check-up will help you identify the areas that cause the most stress and hardship. By following your intuition, you will live a more joyful life.

Accomplishments, victories, and positive changes bring happiness. Failed relationships, losing a loved one, and undesirable changes can disrupt the joy. Even with the hardships in life, though, you can find happiness.

If you aren’t happy, you can make positive changes to address your mindset. You can be happy despite your circumstance, and a check-up can help you reassess. Life is what you make it, so don’t miss a chance to improve how you feel.

Why Some People Stay Happy Easily

Some people can stay happy no matter what happens, and it’s all about their mindset. They choose how they want to deal with things and then move forward knowing everything will work out.

They don’t fall apart and crawl into bed until the worst part is over. Instead, happy people tap into their resilience and bounce back. You can learn to do this, too, coming back stronger and ready to handle anything.

Happy people choose to respond positively to all situations. They aren’t glad about something terrible happening, but they don’t shut down. They accept it and come up with a plan to move forward.

Happy people allow their intuition to guide them forward because they know good times will come again. You can make whatever choice you want, and joyful people choose to keep going. Turn to inspiration and motivation as you cope with hardship and obstacles.

When You Should do a Happiness Check Up

Do a happiness check-up regularly. Even when you think you feel good, take the time to check in with yourself.

It’s most important to do it if you feel discontent or lost in life. It’ll help you assess if you must make changes to embrace life and find meaning again.

How to Do a Happiness Check Up and Experience More Joyful Days

You can do a happiness check-up by asking yourself a few questions. These questions focus on the essential parts of your life that affect your mental health. As you ask yourself these questions, think of ways you can make changes if you answer no to any.

Are You Focusing on What Makes Life Joyful and Worthwhile?

Think about what you’d want to do if you only had a short time to live. Envision the people you’d spend time with and where you would go. Take care of what you’d regret if your time on earth got cut short.

If you aren’t living your life focusing on what makes life worthwhile, you’ll have a hard time being happy. You might lose meaning and feel unfulfilled, disrupting your joy. Life is short, so make every moment meaningful.

Are you Living in the Present?

Ask yourself if you’re focusing on what’s going on around you each moment. Don’t waste your time mindlessly scrolling social media because you can’t get that time back.

Technology isn’t the only thing that can distract you from the present. Worrying about the future or stressing about the past can steal your time, too. Call yourself back to the current moment if you find that your mind has wandered.

How Are You Coping with Setbacks?

Setbacks are an excellent time to do a happiness check-up because you can monitor your reaction to them. You’ll find happiness if you can focus on overcoming setbacks rather than letting them throw you off track. Using your thought and emotions for positive movement can help you find fulfillment.

Focus on your ability to reach your goal rather than focusing on disappointment. Don’t give up because it’ll only cause long-lasting unhappiness. If you can stay focused and overcome setbacks, you’re likely living a happy life.

Are You Letting Life Unfold?

As things happen in life, think about how you handle them. Consider whether you accept it and realize you can’t do anything to change it or if you panic and try to resist change.

If you accept it and let life unfold, you’re likely happier. However, if you resist change and complain about everything in the process, you likely need to reevaluate. Remember that change is part of life, and you shouldn’t take everything too seriously.

Are You Surrounding Yourself by Peace and Contentment?

Consider who you spend your time with, what you do, and where you spend your time. You’ll be unhappy if these things don’t bring joy, peace, and contentment. How you spend your time affects your mental health, so make sure you strive for happiness.

Eliminate toxic relationships and focus on the supportive people in your life. Switch jobs if yours is unrewarding, and let go of things that cause unnecessary stress.

Are You Taking Responsibility for Your Life?

If you take responsibility for your life, you’ll feel more fulfilled. You decide your life, so if you don’t love your situation, it’s your responsibility to change it. Your life is your responsibility, and no one stops you from living a joyful life.

If you blame others, you’re likely unhappy. However, you’ll find joy if you take responsibility and do whatever you must. Many people miss this aspect of being happy, but it’s essential to your well-being.

Are You Working Toward Your Goals and Pursuing Your Passions?

Think about what you want out of life and consider whether you’re actively working toward it. If you are, then you’re likely feeling happy in life right now. However, if you’re not, it could interfere with your happiness.

Don’t worry about what other people think of you or want for your life. Remember that this life is yours, and you must do what will make you happy. Focus on your goals, not what you feel society or family forces on you.

Consider your career and family goals and other things you’re passionate about. Do the things you love, and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not important. Focus on your goals and passions, and don’t let anyone or anything interfere.

Do You Enjoy the Lifestyle You Created?

Your lifestyle plays a role in how happy you are. Live with intention, follow your intuition, and do things to live the life you want. Make sure your surroundings align with what you want your life to look like.

When you love your lifestyle, it brings peace and fulfillment. With constant life changes and high demands, it can be hard to find peace. Adjust your day-to-day routine to find contentment and live the joyful life you want.

Are You Being True to Yourself?

Being true to yourself can affect your happiness levels. Speak up for what you believe and disagree when necessary. You’ll be happier when you’re comfortable with your opinions and values.

You won’t worry so much about people’s opinions of you, either. Being true to yourself helps you feel more confident, allowing self-love and joy. You’ll feel free to be genuine and open with those around you, and you won’t worry about their reaction.

Happy people don’t sit back and let things happen when they disagree. They are brave enough to say how they feel and express themselves respectfully.

Being true to yourself requires looking at your values, too. If you value family time, you must lead a life that allows for it. You’ll have to choose a job where you can prioritize your family and be home for important events.

Consider all areas of your life and whether they align with your values. If any areas don’t align, it might be time to make some changes. Prioritize what makes you happy in life, and don’t sacrifice essential aspects.

Do You Prioritize Time with Yourself?

While spending time with your loved ones is important, alone time is essential, too. Consider whether you take at least 10 to 15 minutes each day to focus on yourself. If you don’t, you should implement things time into your routine.

It gives you a chance to check in with yourself and regroup. Plus, it allows you to assess your direction and think of new ideas.

Prioritizing time with yourself can be hard when you have children or a spouse. You always do things for them, and everyone seems to need you. However, you’ll feel better and more joyful if you can find this time.

Final Thoughts on How to Do a Happiness Check Up

Don’t panic if you answered no to any (or all) of these questions. The point of a happiness check-up is to learn which areas of your life could use a change. Go back to the questions you said no about and brainstorm ways to make positive changes.

Being unhappy doesn’t mean you’re depressed, but you still don’t want to let it spiral. You deserve to live a joyful life, so make sure you do what it takes. This happiness check-up can help you get back on track and live the life of your dreams.

15 Ways to Stop Wasting Food

August 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

A large percentage of food in the United States gets wasted. Some foods are lost commercially by grocery stores, restaurants, or other food producers, but some food waste occurs in people’s homes. No one wants to contribute to wasting food, especially considering the increasing number of people struggling with food insecurity. You can make a difference in stopping food waste.

Fifteen Ways to Stop Wasting Food

Here are fifteen ways you can stop wasting food in your home.

1 – Stop wasting food by using all your leftovers

Come up with creative ways to use your leftovers. Many blogs, YouTube videos, and Tiktok posts are dedicated to cooking with leftovers. It’s very satisfying to use every bit of food in a way that gives you delicious meals without waste. For instance, if you have leftover baked chicken, by adding a few extra ingredients, you can create other meals for the rest of the week, including chicken:

Tacos
Soup
Salad
Wraps
Chili

Of course, the other option is to freeze the chicken and use it again.

2 – Make a list

Planning is strategic to not wasting food. Be sure to make a list of what you need before you go to the grocery. This habit prevents you from overbuying. It’s easy to buy food, assuming you’ll eat it, then let it sit in the fridge for weeks. Keep your list and stick to it.

3 – Shop local to cut down on food waste

If possible, try to shop at local farmer’s markets. They don’t carry as much food as grocery stores, so there’s less food waste. You get fresher produce at these stands. Most of the produce they sell is locally grown and in season. You won’t need to worry about insects or pests during the production of transport. Plus, when you shop at farmer’s markets, you can buy less because you can go back every week to purchase what you need for the week.

4 – Plan out your meals to avoid wasting

Before you go to the grocery store, create a menu plan for the week. Then purchase only items you’ll need for the meals on your menu. This practice cuts down on food waste. Plus, planning a menu lowers your stress over what to make each night. You can prepare dinner, lunch, and even breakfast menus. Here’s an example of a five-day menu you can use to start. The seventh day can be leftovers.

Day of the week	Meal	Ingredients you need
Monday	Baked chicken, brown rice, roasted broccoli	Chicken, brown rice, broccoli, olive oil, salt, and pepper
Tuesday	Hamburgers, sweet potato fries, salad, or raw veggies like carrots, celery, and cauliflower	Ground beef, sweet potatoes or frozen sweet potato fries, salt, olive oil, lettuce, raw veggies
Wednesday	Grilled salmon, brown rice, green beans	salmon, brown rice, frozen green beans, olive oil, salt, and pepper. lemon
Thursday	Stir fry with leftover veggies and leftover chicken, brown rice	Leftover chicken, carrots, celery, cauliflower, sesame oil, brown rice, soy sauce
Friday	Pizza and salad	Lettuce, frozen pizza, or ingredients for homemade pizza

Leftover ideas: Salmon salad for lunch, use the leftover hamburger in veggie soup or a casserole, grind up the veggies for soup, veggie fritters, or gratin.

5 – Store your produce

Be sure to store your fruits and veggies correctly to prevent them from going bad too quickly. You can keep your produce fresher longer if you separate the fruits and veggies. Be sure there’s good circulation in our fridge. If you see your bananas going brown, peel them and throw the bananas into a zippered bag and freeze them. You can use bananas in smoothies or baking.

If you’re considering upgrading your refrigerator to better meet your storage needs, checking out options can be a smart move. For those interested in finding the best deals on new appliances, you might want to explore refrigerator prices in sri lanka at catchme.lk. Investing in a high-quality refrigerator can enhance your food storage capabilities, making it easier to keep your fruits and vegetables fresh and reducing waste. A well-chosen appliance not only improves efficiency but also contributes to better food preservation in the long run.

6 – Don’t assume the food is bad

Don’t be intimidated by food that looks imperfect. You can cut off brown or bruised spots to use the rest of the item. It’s easy to assume that produce is terrible if it looks wrinkled, but you can still use fruits and veggies in smoothies, casseroles, or soups. Some grocery stores sell imperfect produce at lower prices, so you can save and help prevent wasting produce and save money simultaneously.

7 – Use your kitchen scraps

Find creative ways to use your kitchen scraps. Save veggie scraps for soups, broth, or sauces. Leftover coffee grounds and eggshells are suitable for your garden compost pile. Leftover bread can become bread crumbs or croutons. Some people grow leftover raw vegetables in their garden. The veggies you can grow from parts of the plant include:

Romaine lettuce: Cut off the bottom and set in a shallow bowl of water until roots appear. Plant in the soil outside.
Raw potatoes: Cut potatoes into cubes. Be sure there’s an eye in each cube. Plant the cut-up potato pieces in your garden. You can harvest them in 90 days.
Celery: Cut off the bottom of the stalk and put it in a shallow bowl of water until roots appear. Plant outside.
Raw carrots: Cut off the bottoms of carrots and place them in a shallow bowl of water. When the roots are long, plant them outside.

8 – Avoid wasting by organizing your food, so you see it

It’s easy to “lose” food in the fridge. Stuff gets stuck behind the carton of almond milk, and you don’t see it for several weeks. By then, it’s gone bad. Try to organize your fridge and pantry by expiration dates or when you cooked. If possible, freeze items you won’t use for a while. Many foods are freezable. Here’s a list of foods you can freeze that you may not have known about:

Butter: Store in zipper bags.
Buttermilk: Store in an airtight container.
Hard cheeses: Shred and stored in zippered bags.
Egg whites: Store in an airtight container
Herbs: Chop and store in plastic bags.
Nuts and seeds: Store in food storage bags.
Pesto: Store in an airtight container.
Waffles: Store in plastic bags
Pancakes: Store in an airtight container.
Whole wheat flour
Cooked chicken: Store in an airtight container.
Cooked beef: Be sure to keep in an airtight container
Wine: Spoon a teaspoon or two into a freezer tray and use for stews

9 – Buy more frozen fruits and vegetables

When you buy frozen veggies and fruits, they last longer than fresh but are still very healthy. You can use frozen veggies in stews, soups, and even as side dishes. The frozen fruits are perfect for smoothies. Studies show that the vitamin content in frozen vegetables and fruits is the same or even higher compared to fresh vegetables and fruits. Only the frozen vegetables with beta carotene were lower in vitamin content.

10 – Grocery shop more often and buy less

It’s best to buy less and go to the store more often rather than stocking up on food. When you overstock the pantry, you risk forgetting what you purchased, overbuying, or buying what you don’t need. Create a menu for a couple of days at a time instead of for the entire week. Then, if you go for dinner, you won’t waste the food you had set aside for that meal.

11 – Donate extras to avoid making food waste

Find a local shelter or food bank that accepts donations. Take your leftover produce or canned goods there. Make it a monthly habit to go through your pantry, eliminate what you know you won’t use, and then donate it. You can also find churches that accept donations, or some schools have food drives for local shelters. Do your research. You’ll be surprised at all the places that need both perishable and non-perishable foods.

12 – Save vegetable scraps for homemade broth

Vegetables and food scraps make healthy broths. Things like carrot tops, herb stems, and onion skins can be boiled and turned into stock. Just be sure to wash them well before you cook them to get rid of dirt and pesticides used outside the skins and stems.

13 – Store your bread in the freezer to stop wasting it

Bread goes back quickly. If you leave your bread on the counter, it will get moldy quickly. Store it in the fridge or even the freezer to extend the life of your bread, bagels, and hamburger rolls.

14 – Stop food waste by avoiding bulk purchases

Contrary to popular opinion, buying bulk isn’t a good idea for stopping food waste. When you buy in bulk, you end up with too much food. Usually, before you’ve used up the food, it expires or spoils. The best way to avoid wasting food is to use all your produce, dairy, and bread before buying. Canned items last longer, but you should still check them for expiration. Other foods you need to check include:

Salad dressings
Ketchup
Species
Frozen foods
Soy sauce, barbeque sauce, and Worcestershire sauce
Pickles
Hot peppers
Mustard
Mayo

15 – Be adventurous. Try new recipes

Leftovers or random things in your fridge may force you to be adventurous and try new recipes. This effort helps you avoid throwing away these items. Many food blogs are dedicated to the creative cooking of leftovers or produce you haven’t used. Check them out. Talk to your grandma about what she used to make with leftover produce or canned items. Many people from that generation had to use what little they had, so they devised creative uses for foods.

Final thoughts on learning how to stop wasting food

There are so many ways to prevent food waste right in your kitchen. It takes some simple planning and creativity, but these fifteen tips will get you started on eliminating wasting food.

12 Phrases Narcissists Use to Manipulate Others

August 29, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Narcissists are tricky because they seem charming at first and flip a switch when you least expect it. They cause you to question yourself, making you think you’re the issue in your relationship. A manipulator wants to control you and ensure they continue getting what they want out of you.

Narcissists use love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation to get what they want and keep you around. Sometimes it’s easy to identify the narcissism, but other times it’s more covert, meaning they are quieter about it. There are many common phrases manipulators use to undermine your well-being without having you pick up on it.

There’s no complete list of phrases narcissists will use to manipulate others, but this list is a place to start. Any variation of these phrases is a red flag, so don’t dismiss anything that doesn’t feel right to you. However, before learning these statements, you must understand what a narcissist is.

What are Narcissists?

Anyone who thinks they are better and more deserving than others might have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This disorder means they engage in grandiose thinking, lack empathy, want to be admired, and have an inflated ego.

These negative behaviors are how they cover personal insecurities and fears, although they’d never admit it. They enjoy manipulating others and love when a plan works out for them.

Narcissists use language differently than other people. Rather than using it to communicate, they use words to manipulate and get what they want or need. They’ll say what they can to keep you around, despite the detriment to your well-being.

These people have a high sense of entitlement and do whatever they can to bring others down. They terrorize you psychologically, and it worsens the longer it goes on. A narcissist often sounds normal and uses words to send mixed messages with a negative subtext.

These people are often arrogant and thoughtless. They only think of themselves, so their actions are generally selfish. A manipulator will only do kind things for others when they can get something out of it or use it against them later.

Twelve Phrases Narcissists Use to Manipulate Others

You might not realize these phrases are manipulative at first, but question them later. This situation happens to you because a narcissist is good at saying something without coming right out and insulting you.

Other times they’ll be more direct, but they often try to make their harmful comment seem helpful. Anytime someone says something that undermines your success or makes you question yourself, it’s manipulative.

1. I’m the only person who likes you, and everyone else is just pretending.

A narcissist says this for a few reasons. First, they want you to feel bad about yourself. It will make you feel worthless and like they are better than you are.

They also want you to feel like they’re doing you a favor by spending time with you. If they’re the only one that likes you, they’ll expect gratitude.

That’s not all, though, because they also want to isolate you from others. If you think people don’t like you and say bad things about you, you won’t want to be around them. This method is one of the many ways a manipulator will get you to themselves.

2. No one will believe you if you tell them.

A manipulator will say this phrase for a few reasons, too. They might have isolated you to the point where you have no one to turn to.

Or, it might indicate they’ve already talked badly about you to others ahead of time. They’ll want to do it first so that everyone in your life will be on their side and believe their lies.

Either way, this phrase prevents you from telling people about the situation. You’ll feel alienated and alone, and it convinces you to stay without speaking up.

3. I don’t know why you’re so jealous and insecure.

Someone who uses this phrase usually knows the reason you’re upset or feeling insecure. This person goes out of their way to make you feel this way, making them feel desirable and powerful.

Narcissists will do things to upset you and then make you feel bad for being upset. They do this because they feel threatened when you confront them and don’t want to hear your thoughts.

These people often want you to take the abuse without saying a word. They don’t want to say you’re right because that would require them to consider how their actions affect others.

4. I love you so much–I can’t be without you.

When someone hurts you and uses this phrase, it’s a sign of a manipulator. They often love-bomb you after hurting you, and it’s a subtle method of gaining control.

However, they love that you trust them and continue to care for them despite the mistreatment. It keeps you in a cycle of abuse because you keep forgiving and continuing the relationship.

5. If you leave me, you’ll never find someone as good.

Narcissistic behavior usually comes from underlying insecurities; this phrase is an example. They are afraid that you’ll find someone who treats you well.

Because of that fear, they want you to believe you’ll regret it. This person doesn’t want you to find someone who will bring joy to your life or allow you to recognize your true worth.

6. You’re crazy, just like my exes.

If you date a narcissist, they’ll frequently compare you to people from their past. Rather than recognizing that their behavior is the issue, they’ll blame everyone in their lives. They’ll appreciate the reaction this statement will get from you, so they do the same things that worked in the past.

7. I don’t know why you’re upset. It’s your fault anyway.

No matter what happens, a narcissist will blame you. They will never take responsibility for a situation or outcome and blame others. These people won’t even take partial responsibility, and they’ll find every reason that they aren’t to blame.

If they did something to hurt you, this person tells you their behavior was their fault, too. They’d say they wouldn’t have hurt you if you had done what they wanted.

A narcissist will use this phrase when confronted or when you stand up for yourself. They don’t enjoy confrontation, so a manipulator will flip the situation around immediately.

8. I’m sorry that’s how you feel, but you’re wrong.

When this person says they’re sorry about how you feel, they want you to think they’re being kind. However, following up by telling you you’re wrong is a red flag. They want to end the argument, but only if you let the issue go.

This phrase clarifies that this person is not sorry for what they did. They’re only sorry that you spoke up about the problem.

9. Life isn’t all about you, so let it go.

A narcissist will use this phrase when they want to refer back to themselves. They won’t discuss your needs because it means they won’t get what they want. These people only want to project their selfishness, and they’ll make you feel guilty or ashamed so that they can achieve it.

10. They’re just a friend; stop imagining things.

Dating a narcissist is hard because they’ll betray your trust and then tell you that you imagine it. They’ll keep close friends they flirt with throughout your relationship. However, when you mention it, this manipulator will make it seem like they did nothing wrong.

11. You’re getting upset over nothing and need to toughen up.

When you express your emotions, a narcissist might use a phrase like this. They don’t want to show compassion, so they try to shut your expression down quickly.

Parents frequently say this to children, thinking it’s helping them overcome emotions. However, this phrase invalidates feelings whether it is said to an adult or child. It’s not a good situation; no one should feel they must suppress their emotions.

12. Stop overreacting, I was just joking.

It’s not a good sign when someone tells you that you’re overreacting and that they were joking. A narcissist will say this when you react naturally to a situation. They don’t want you to catch onto their negative behavior, so they want you to think it’s not a big deal.

This person gaslights and invalidates you so that you second-guess yourself. It sets you up for becoming compliant and minimizing the abuse. This phrase devalues your emotion and causes you to lose trust in yourself.

Eleven Signs of Narcissists

You can often look for the eleven signs of a narcissist to help you identify them in your life. There is much more to watch for than listening to what they say. Some of the other signs of a manipulator include:

having a large circle of friends but being unable to sustain a deep connection
exhibiting attention-seeking behavior
asking for things from others without ever contributing
hurting people’s feelings and not taking responsibility
causing problems within a group and blaming others for how they behaved
not caring about the emotions of others
relying on others to help them through their negative emotions but never being there for their loved ones
walking away from friendships and relationships when they no longer feed their self-esteem
spending time with people only when it benefits them
constantly criticizing others, openly or behind their back
applying higher standards to others than they do to themselves

Final Thoughts on Phrases Narcissists Use to Manipulate Others

Dealing with a narcissist can seem impossible, but the first step is identifying it. If you tend to feel bad after spending time with specific people, reflect on what they say to you. These phrases are detrimental to your well-being and intend to manipulate you.

When you know a narcissist’s true intentions, you can protect yourself from their negative behavior. Remember that this isn’t a complete list; any variation of these phrases is toxic. Go with your gut and admit to yourself when something doesn’t make you feel good.

10 Health Benefits of Alpha-Lipoic Acid (and How to Take it)

August 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

Alpha-lipoic acid (ALA) is a natural antioxidant made by your body. It’s in every cell of your body that turns glucose into energy. This antioxidant goes after the free radical waste byproducts formed when your body turns food into energy. These free radicals are chemical reactions that damage your cells, so it’s harder for your body to fight off infection. Free radicals also harm your body’s tissues and organs.

Fortunately, you can get ALA from certain foods.

Health benefits of alpha-lipoic acid

Here is a list of alpha-lipoic acid benefits and how you are sure to get enough ALA every day.

1. ALA helps diabetes

Doctors say that ALA can lower blood sugar levels besides killing free radicals. It also helps those with diabetic peripheral neuropathy to find relief. Diabetic peripheral neuropathy is a condition that affects the feet and legs of people with diabetes. It can be debilitating and painful. Sometimes it’s fatal. Researchers say that ALA helps improve insulin sensitivity. But it’s not entirely understood if taking alpha-lipoic acid by mouth can help. Research has been limited to small groups.

Another diabetes-associated condition, autonomic neuropathy, affects nerves in your internal organs. People with autonomic neuropathy in their hearts found improvement when they took 800 mcg of ALA.

2. Alpha-lipoic acid can slow down the aging process

Aging happens to everyone. Sagging, wrinkles, and a lack of elasticity are normal as you age. The skin around our arms, legs, face, and trunk are most affected. Aging skin also gets dry and has an increased risk of skin diseases.

Alpha-lipoic acid benefits include slowing down this aging process. ALA has potent antioxidant abilities, which help reduce skin aging and inflammation. Furthermore, it improves the nerve function of the skin. Other alpha lipoic acid benefits for aging include the following:

Tightening of skin
Improve the firmness of the skin
Reduce fine wrinkles and lines

For the best benefits, nutritionists suggest you take it with biotin and vitamin B complex.

3. Reduce glaucoma risk with ALA

As you age, you’re at risk of getting glaucoma. This eye condition causes vision loss. There are different types of glaucoma. But with all of them, the high eye pressure damages the nerve that connects your eye to your brain. Glaucoma has no symptoms other than vision loss. A rare kind of glaucoma called angle-closure glaucoma causes eye pain, nausea, and sudden blindness. Studies show that ALA is an effective antioxidant that helps protect retinal cells that affect glaucoma.

4. Alpha-lipoic acid can help protect from cancer

ALA links to anticancer therapy because of its ability to kill specific cells and inhibit cancer cell growth. One finding with patients with pancreatic cancer, an especially deadly cancer, received intravenous lipoic acid combined with a low dose of naltrexone. Although they learned they had only months to live in 2002, they were symptom-free and back at work by 2006. ALA is also effective against ovarian and gastric cancer.

5. ALA protects your brain

Alpha-lipoic acid benefits extend to your brain. Researchers believe it protects your brain and nervous tissue, reducing the progression of memory loss and other disorders. ALA neutralizes oxidative stress and improves energy production in your brain. This supports a healthy brain, increases your mental sharpness, and reduces your chances of dementia.

6. Prevent stroke

Strokes are one of the leading causes of death in the United States. It’s the leading cause of disabilities in developing countries. Evidence shows that oxidative stress is a massive component of brain damage from strokes. Because your brain is prone to consuming reactive oxygen, free radicals cause damage because of low antioxidants. Researchers believe ALA also has potential benefits in treating stroke and other brain problems where these free radicals have caused harm. Researchers hope to learn more about ALA’s promising ability to treat and restore the brain after a stroke injury.

7. Prevents cardiovascular disease

Atherosclerosis, a disease of your arteries causing the growth of plaque in the inner walls of your arteries, is caused by these:

High blood pressure
Smoking
High cholesterol
High blood pressure
Diabetes
Obesity
Eating saturated fats

The common thing about each of these conditions is oxidative stress. It’s thought that oxidative stress could be the leading cause of atherosclerosis. Because ALA is a potent antioxidant, it can reduce oxidative stress and inflammation related to heart disease. ALA is a powerful antioxidant. Your body produces it, but when you take a supplement, it increases the functional capacity of the ALA.

8. Alpha-lipoic acid may assist in weight loss

Studies show that taking ALA results in modest weight loss for overweight individuals. Some results were inconsistent. But there was weight loss for those who took ALA compared to those who took a placebo. More research is needed to determine the effect of different doses and more long-term alpha-linolenic acid benefits.

9. Protects your eyes

As you age, oxidative stress can damage your vision. The health benefits of ALA extend to your eyes because it can stop oxidative damage that causes eye damage. Eating a diet high in foods with ALA before you reach an older age can prevent the degeneration of your eye tissue and vision loss. It is used to help control eye disorders such as:

Vision loss
Macular degeneration
Retina damage
Cataracts (as mentioned earlier)
Wilson’s disease

10. Lowers inflammation

Alpha-lipoic acid fights oxidative stress and inflammation in your body. People taking ALA supplements say it reduces joint pain and muscle aches. There’s evidence that ALA binds and removes heavy metals or toxins that accumulate in your bloodstream from the water you drink, chemicals found in your environment, the air you breathe, or the foods you eat. The metals ALA can effectively remove include:

Arsenic
Iron
Mercury

What foods contain ALA?

Your body makes a small amount of ALA, but you can support it by making healthy food choices. The foods that contain ALA include:

Potatoes
Spinach
Organ meats (like liver, in limited quantities)
Red meat
Brewer’s yeast
Flaxseed
Beets
Carrots
Tomatoes
Brussel sprouts
Broccoli
Green peas

What about ALA supplements?

Alpha-lipoic acid is made in small amounts by your body. It’s also in foods and supplements. Supplements can benefit people with diabetes, skin aging, heart disorders, and memory issues. It’s thought that 300 mg to 600 mg are effective and safe with side effects. There is concern that only 30% to 40% of ALA supplements are absorbed. That’s why some people suggest you take these supplements on an empty stomach, the first thing in the morning, thirty minutes before you eat or drink. Others say you should eat a small snack before taking it to prevent acid reflux. So it would be best if you learn what works best for you.

What are the side effects of alpha-lipoic acid supplements?

ALA has minimal side effects for most people, but some reported having adverse effects.

Low blood sugar
Nausea
Rash-this is primarily those who used an ALA ointment or cream
Vomiting
Acid reflux

Warnings about taking alpha-lipoic acid

Researchers have not studied ALA to see if it’s safe for pregnant or breastfeeding women. So, it may be best to stop taking ALA supplements if you fit in either of these categories. Risk factors are rare, but because the ALA supplements cause low blood sugar, those with diabetes or low blood sugar should talk to their health care provider before taking them.

Interactions of ALA with other medications

If you take medication for certain health conditions, you should know how ALA interacts with some medications. The medications are affected by ALA.
Medications for diabetes. Because ALA lowers your blood sugar levels, it raises your risk of hypoglycemia or low blood sugar. If you have diabetes medication, watch your sugar levels closely.
Chemotherapy drugs. It can interfere with some chemo drugs. Ask your oncologist before you take it.
Thyroid medication. Levothyroxine-It may lower this drug’s effectiveness. It doesn’t seem to affect Synthroid, another thyroid medication. Be sure your endocrinologist monitors your numbers.
Vitamin B1(Thiamine). ALA lowers the thiamine levels in your body. This is dangerous, especially if you’re an alcoholic. They are already low in this vitamin.

Final thoughts on understanding the many benefits of alpha-lipoic acid

Alpha-lipoic acid (ALA) is made in small amounts by your body. It’s a powerful antioxidant that’s in every cell of your body. The health benefits of ALA extend to your eyes, heart, weight, and brain. Its main job is to kill off free radicals that cause harm to your body’s cells. Even though your body makes some ALA, eating a diet rich in ALA is essential. Many people have experienced ALA benefits from taking supplements.

Be sure to take the correct amount and be aware of ALA drug interactions. Talking to your doctor before you take supplements might be worthwhile if you have certain health conditions. This list of alpha-lipoic acid benefits is impressive. As researchers continue to study ALA, there is a good chance you will soon hear more about its antioxidant benefits.

10 Exercises That Relieve Knee Pain (In 5 Minutes or Less)

August 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

Knee pain is something that most folks will deal with as they age. It comes from inflammation, arthritis, injury, muscular tissues, and general weakness from use. Mention exercise to someone with this pain, and they will likely pass.

Thankfully, seated exercises can have many therapeutic benefits for the severe pain associated with your knees. The good news is that studies find many significant knee exercise benefits.

Soon, you’ll see improvement in walking, climbing stairs, and your overall pain level within a short period. You can improve the knee joint function and strengthen those tired muscles in this region.

Ten Exercises to Relieve Knee Pain and Reduce Inflammation

Remember that it will take some time to strengthen this area and bring relief, but you can see some improvement by doing these exercises just three times a week.

1. Block Step-Up for Knee Pain

For this exercise, you will need a block or wedge to help you work on that knee pain. You’ll also work on your quadriceps and glutes, but it won’t cause your knees discomfort. Here’s how:

1. Place your block on the floor. Don’t use a big block as it will cause pain if it’s too high. A yoga block is usually best.

2. Place your left foot in the center of the block.

3. Engage the abdominal area by placing your hands on your hips.

4. Press your right heel into the floor, and you need to flex your quads while straightening the leg out.

5. Bend your left knee as you lower that foot to the floor. Make sure that your foot never leaves the block.

6. Do ten reps on the left side, then you should switch to the right.

2. Leg Raises

Did you know that doctors and therapists also use this exercise to test your mobility? According to the National Library of Medicine, it’s called the Lasegue test. During these movements, the doctor looks for lumbosacral nerve irritation. However, this movement can also strengthen this area. Here’s how:

1. Find a comfortable position to lie on the floor on your back.

2. Bend one knee and ensure your foot is flat on the floor.

3. The other leg needs to be straight out in front. This motion will allow you to engage your abdominal region as the lower part of your back is on the ground.

4. Flex your toes and bring them towards the lower part of your leg. If you’re doing this correctly, you should feel those quadriceps engage.

5. Gently lift your leg upwards while keeping those quadriceps connected.

6. Inhale deeply and lift the leg on the ground about twelve inches. Strive to hold this for five or ten seconds.

7. Now, switch legs and do the other side.

3. Adductor Leg Raises to Reduce Knee Pain

The adduct muscles are those around the femur at the hip joint. These are important as they’re directly affected by bad knees and inflammation. Here’s how:

1. Lie on the left side on the floor.

2. Like a leg lift, you want your legs to be on top of one another but staggered. The leg on the bottom should be back slightly from the one on top.

3. Stabilize yourself by pressing your palms to the floor.

4. Raise the bottom leg upwards as you exhale.

5. Now, inhale and bring that right leg back.

6. Strive to do ten reps on each side.

4. Lateral Walking

For this maneuver, you will need an exercise band. This move helps support your knee joints, all while strengthening those outer hip muscles.

You can do this exercise without the band, but the band provides extra support. Sorry, this isn’t one of the seated exercises, but it does help with that chronic knee pain. Here’s how:

1. Step into your exercise band and move it until it rests around your knee.

2. Stand tall and ensure your feet are spaced wider than your hips.

3. Make sure your toes point ahead as you engage those abdominal muscles.

4. Step to the right, tap your right toes halfway and ensure they meet your left foot.

5. If done correctly, you will feel a burning sensation in the outer hips that resist the band—no worries, as you’re working to reduce that inflammation and strengthen tender areas.

6. Now, move side-to-side using an alternating pattern.

7. You should strive for fifteen to twenty repetitions on each side.

5. Lying Leg Raises

The lying leg raise is good for hip or knee pain. It’s one of the seated exercises that work on inflammation and your core strength. Here’s how:

1. Lye on the ground with your left side on the floor.

2. Use your hand to support your head by placing your arm at a 90-degree angle.

3. Make sure your legs are stacked directly on top of one another and your feet.

4. Lift your right leg towards the ceiling, exhaling as you go.

5. Now, inhale and bring the leg back to the ground.

6. Do ten reps on the right side and switch to the left.

6. Donkey Kick

When you have knee pain, it affects your glutes, hips, and hamstring muscles. This maneuver is known to not only reduce your pain in the knee area but can also reduce inflammation and prevent it from occurring. Here’s how:

1. Start on the ground by getting on all fours.

2. Make sure your shoulders are slightly over your wrists, and your hips should be positioned over your knees.

3. Your hand is pressing firmly into the ground, and now you must spread your fingers wide apart. Tighten your abs to engage those core muscles.

4. Inhale deeply as you lift your left leg towards the ceiling.

5. As you lift, ensure your knee stays aligned with the left hips so that you’re square to the ground.

6. Now, kick out sideways with your right leg ensuring you squeeze your quads.

7. Bring your right leg down and switch to the left leg.

8. Strive to do eight reps per side.

7. Donkey Kickbacks

While it’s not exactly one of the seated exercises, you’re not going to feel knee pain as you’re not putting weight on it. This is a great maneuver to help with inflammation and arthritic pain. Here’s how:

1. Start in the tabletop position, which is all four on the floor.

2. Make sure your shoulders are slightly over your wrists, and if you’re in the proper position, your hips should be over your knees.

3. Your hand should be flat on the floor with your fingers wide.

4. Lift your left leg to the backside, and ensure you engage your abs as you lift.

5. If done correctly, your left ankle will perfectly align with your left hip. Now, flex your foot.

6. Exhale and bend your knee until it reaches a 90-degree angle, and you should inhale when you straighten it back out.

7. Strive to raise the left leg for ten reps, then lower it on the ground and work the other side.

8. Quad Sets (One of The Recommended Seated Exercises)

Did you know quad sets are used in knee and hip rehabilitation? Physical therapists rely heavily on this movement to help work these core muscles and reduce pain. Here’s how:

1. Find a comfortable place on the floor to sit.

2. Take your left leg and straighten it out in front of you.

3. Bring your knee up until your leg is at a 90-degree angle and your foot is flat on the floor.

4. Flex the left foot while the rear side of your knee moves towards the ground. If you’re doing this correctly, you should feel your quads engaging. Hold the position for five to ten seconds, then release for another five or ten seconds.

5. Strive to do ten reps on the left, and then you should switch and do ten reps on the right.

9. Lying Leg Curls

You can do leg curls in many ways, but it’s always better to choose seated exercises when dealing with knee pain. Here’s how:

1. Lie on the ground facing downward. Prop up your upperbody with your elbows and forearm.

2. Slowly curl your left leg towards the ceiling.

3. With the left leg still in the air, bend your knee in this suspension till it reaches 90 degrees.

4. As you inhale, straighten the left leg back out. Inhale and bend the knee again till it makes that sharp angle.

5. Do ten reps on the left side, then switch to the right side.

10. Leg Extensions

The leg extension done in the supine position is used for mobility. It effectively works the ankles, calves, and hamstring muscles, which all directly impact the knee muscles. Here’s how:

1. Start by lying flat on the ground. Ensure your lower back is touching the floor, as this will engage your abdominal muscles.

2. Raise one leg upwards towards the ceiling. At the same time, flex the foot on this leg so that you engage your quadriceps.

3. Move your toes back and forth, so your shin can feel the burn.

4. Now, inhale deeply and slightly bend the leg that’s straight until you reach a 90-degree angle.

5. Exhale slowly and straighten your leg back out. Make sure you’re flexing those quadriceps the entire time.

6. Do ten reps on one side and switch to the other.

Final Thoughts on Relieving Inflammation and Knee Pain

Don’t be overwhelmed by this list, as there may be some exercises you cannot do. Find the ones you can do and work on those first, but you can slowly move up from the seated exercises into more challenging ones.

Everyone is at different levels with their knee pain, but the most important thing is ensuring you’re working the area. Many of these maneuvers improve knee pain and your overall lower body strength. Starting today can bring you some quick relief to the inflammation in your knees.

7 First Date Warning Signs Never to Ignore

August 28, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Going on a first date is an exciting, nerve-wreaking experience. However, it’s easy to get caught up in your nervousness that you don’t think to watch for red flags. You likely have a few you notice immediately (like a self-absorbed person). But what about the less obvious things that reveal a toxic person?

Going on a date indicates that you hope to develop a healthy relationship. When things don’t work out, it’s disappointing because it feels like a waste of time. If you see the red flags immediately, you’ll save yourself from spending more time with someone incompatible with you.

Sometimes it’s tempting to ignore red flags because you want things to work out. However, determining early on that someone isn’t the one for you creates space and leaves you open to the right person. It’s not a waste of time when each unsuccessful date gets you one step closer to a good one.

You don’t want to ignore these red flags because they indicate deeper underlying issues. If the person is willing to behave this way on a first date, imagine what’s to come. There’s no reason to continue getting to know them when you can already see the problems.

First Date Warning Signs

You can’t always identify every red flag on a first date, but these are a helpful place to start. They’ll help you weed out a self-absorbed person who doesn’t fit well with your mindset and lifestyle. You deserve to date someone great for you, so don’t settle by ignoring these signs.

1. They Talk Badly About Others and Treat People Rudely

When someone talks badly about others the first time they meet you, it’s not a good sign. You don’t want to spend time with someone who comfortably talks about people behind their backs.

They might say things that indicate something is wrong with everyone in their life, giving insight into how they handle relationships. It shows they have a problem with many people, and it can’t always be everyone else’s fault.

You also might notice that they are rude to others, complaining about the service or not wanting to leave a tip. They’ll be condescending toward the wait staff, leaving you feeling embarrassed to be with them. Talking about others and being rude are signs of narcissism, and it’s best to pass on a second date.

2. They Only Talk About Themselves

It’s not a good sign if your date talks about themselves the entire time. If your date doesn’t ask questions or allow you to share anything about yourself, it’s clear they don’t care. You can’t build an emotional connection if you can’t speak or don’t feel heard.

Another sign that they only want to talk about themselves is that they make your stories about themselves. They might let you finish only to flip it back to themselves without much response. These people are so self-absorbed that they don’t even realize they are being rude.

3. They Disrespect Boundaries

If your date disrespects boundaries on your first date, it’ll be even worse later. Watch how they respond when something doesn’t go their way or when they realize you prefer something different. These behaviors show how they respect or violate boundaries.

Some things to watch for regarding boundaries include:

ordering you a drink when you said you don’t want one
pressuring you to stay longer when you say you have to go
touching or kissing you after you say you’re not comfortable
becoming defensive, angry, or making you feel guilty when they don’t get what they want
disregarding your concern for safety by saying you’re overreacting

4. A Self-Absorbed Person Won’t Put Down Their Phone

There’s nothing wrong with checking your phone occasionally for urgent calls, but doing it constantly is rude. It’s a distraction and shows that they don’t consider your feelings. This behavior also indicates that they aren’t fully present and that behavior is unlikely to change. Your date should be able to give you attention for a few hours.

5. They Move too Fast

A first date is your first chance to get to know each other. If they treat you like you’re the love of their life during the first date, it’s a sign of love bombing. They want to draw you in quickly, hoping you’ll overlook their other red flags.

It’s too soon to discuss the future, even if the date goes well. It might sound sweet, but you shouldn’t be planning trips together or making big decisions. Now, if they mention an upcoming event and formally invite you to go, that’s a good sign. Planning a vacation out of state or asking you to a wedding six months down the road is moving too fast.

It’s also bad if they hint at having sex during or after the first date. Your date doesn’t know your comfort level yet, and a respectful person won’t do it.

6. They Get Weird When You Ask Questions

If you ask your date a reasonable question, they shouldn’t get weird about it. Your date might answer indirectly, and some people will even try to make you feel bad for asking. Sometimes a self-absorbed person does not listen well. As a result, they might respond in a judgmental way like you didn’t have a right to ask.

You’re supposed to get to know one another on a first date, so they should be willing to reveal something. If they won’t, it could be that your date only wants to manipulate you. It’s also a red flag if they have no opinion on anything you say or do. Your date should have input, or it indicates low self-confidence.

7. They Call Their Ex Crazy

Talking about an ex on a first date is never a good idea. However, if it comes up and your date calls an ex crazy, it’s not a good sign. Other negative comments about their ex are a red flag, too. It shows that they don’t take responsibility for their actions.

What to Do if Your First Date Isn’t Going Well

If you go on a first date with someone and it doesn’t go well, you’ll want out as quickly as possible. Abruptly leaving the date might be rude unless the other person did something drastic.

However, your comfort is more important than being polite, so finding the least rude way to end the date is essential. If you want to see it through to the end of the date and feel safe doing so, you can try some tactics for improving it. Even if you choose to stay, remember all the red flags of a self-absorbed person before setting up a second date.

1. Do You Feel Safe on This First Date?

It’s essential to start by considering whether you’re unsafe when you realize you’re on an unsuccessful date. If you feel unsafe, don’t ignore the feeling because you can never be too careful. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and call someone, or approach an employee privately to ask them for help. If you are at a restaurant, a woman can order an angel shot. Conversely, a male can order a “Johnny Depp.”

2. Be Honest

Making excuses will worsen the situation and make it more uncomfortable. They’ll likely know you’re lying anyway, so be honest about why you’re leaving. Telling the truth doesn’t mean you must be brutal. Instead, in a clear, gentle way, say that you’re ready to go.

You don’t owe them an explanation, but feel free to tell them your reasons if you’re comfortable. Maybe it’ll help them improve their self-absorbed behavior in the future. You can tell them that you’re not feeling a romantic connection, or you can be specific about your issues.

Once you say you want to leave, you have options for how to handle it from there. Say as much or as little as you want, but don’t get caught up in a lie.

3. Say, “Thank you for meeting me here, but I’m ready to get going.”

Even if the date didn’t go well, thank them for taking the time to go on a date. It’s a direct way of saying that the date didn’t go well and didn’t leave space for much discussion. This phrase is polite but gets to the point.

4. Shift the Topic

If you’re comfortable riding it out until the end, shift the topic of conversation. Finding mutually interesting topics might take effort, but it’s better than the alternative. If nothing else works, ask them about happy moments in your life because they’ll love to talk about them.

5. View a Bad First Date as an Opportunity

When you’re on an unsuccessful date, you can use it as an opportunity to practice dating skills. You know you don’t want to see them again, have some fun because there’s no fear of failure. Ask the weird questions that come to mind, do karaoke, or tell funny stories you wouldn’t otherwise.

Maybe it’ll go over well, and you’ll feel comfortable using it on a better date. Otherwise, you’ll have had fun and made it worth your while.

6. Don’t Order a Second Drink

This suggestion is a good one if you want to leave early. You might feel like having a second drink to ease your nerves, but it signals that you’re having a good time and want to stay. It’s also helpful to pay for your drink because it indicates you don’t want to see them again.

Final Thoughts on First Date Warning Signs of a Toxic or Self-Absorbed Person Never to Ignore

Dating isn’t always easy, but it’ll pay off if you remember what you deserve. A first date is a perfect time to watch for these red flags of a toxic or self-absorbed person. That way, you don’t waste more of your time. Plus, ending it after the first date prevents you from developing feelings and getting hurt.

While bad dates aren’t an enjoyable experience, you can make the most of them. If you want to leave early, that’s fine too. You deserve the best so do what you think is right in each situation.

Perfect first dates don’t exist, but some are worse than others. Don’t let bad dates stop you from trying again because you never know when you’ll find the one. Just take it easy, have fun, and always remember your self-worth.

6 Traits Reveal the Happiest Relationships

August 28, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

The happiest relationships don’t necessarily equate to the perfect ones. They still have conflicts and disagreements but learn to work through them. The more successful relationships also see a team rather than two people working in their self-interests and that of their family.

To provide the best outcome, they work together and come to a compromise. If they don’t, the relationship becomes strained and may disintegrate entirely. The happiest relationships embrace both the good times and bad, feeling grateful to have their partner by their side.

They also accept one another fully and don’t judge their partner for their flaws. It takes two to tango, and the most fulfilled couples put in equal effort to keep things afloat. Below, we’ll review some signs of happy couples based on research from licensed social workers.

Linda and Charlie Bloom, married in 1972, conducted interviews with fifty of the happiest couples they could find. The couples had been married an average of thirty years and cultivated qualities that enriched their relationship over time.

They found that happy couples still encountered problems and had heated arguments. However, conflicts didn’t happen often and seemed to dissipate quickly. What differentiated these couples from others in turbulent relationships involved their willingness to understand one another.

Instead of harboring resentment or judgment toward their partner, they appreciated these differences. They recognized that having different viewpoints and opinions than their partner made the relationship more fulfilling. It allowed them to learn unique things about the world and offered a fresh perspective.

While each couple had differences, they also displayed similarities in their connection. Based on the Blooms’ findings, we’ll review the essential qualities of the happiest couples in more detail below.

6 Traits That Reveal Happy Relationships

Here are the six traits you’ll often see in the happiest relationships

1. They Enjoy Making Their Partner (and the Family They Make) Happy.

This one seems like a no-brainer, but many couples today only care about fulfilling personal desires. They tend to prioritize themselves over a partner. However, in the happiest relationships, couples act selflessly and want to ensure their partner feels content. Moreover, this also benefits the giver because acts of service and kindness boost mental health.

In essence, happy couples strive to fulfill one another’s needs to minimize stress in the relationship. After all, pursuing selfish desires could create a rift in the partnership. The Blooms confirmed that all the couples they spoke with felt delight in making their partners happy.

They never felt they had to sacrifice anything to ensure their partner’s wellbeing. Instead, they derived pleasure from discovering how to make their partner–and the family they may build together–happier.

2. The Happiest Relationships Don’t Hold Grudges.

Even if couples argue every so often, the happiest relationships avoid holding grudges. The Blooms discovered that the most successful couples avoided passive-aggressive or resentful behaviors. When they encountered problems, they dealt with them quickly and maturely so they wouldn’t fester.

3. They Take Responsibility For Their Part in Conflicts.

Instinctually, many couples become defensive and angry when confronted with problems they’ve created. This usually happens if the partner talks in a condescending or hurtful tone. However, the Blooms found that the happiest relationships had no problem admitting their faults. They thoughtfully considered how they played a role in issues that arose.

They might have acted slightly defensively but still admitted their responsibility in the conflict. The couples spent less time defending themselves than they spent recognizing and reconciling the problem. Once again, they thought about how their behavior affected the relationship, rather than just themselves.

4. The Happiest Relationships Exhibit Authenticity.

The Blooms also realized that the emotionally healthy couples practiced absolute honesty. No matter the circumstances, they always told the truth out of respect for their partner. Many couples sometimes tell a white lie or exaggerate the truth, but the happiest relationships avoid this behavior.

The Blooms found that many couples always remained truthful, laying everything out on the table. However, they did so in a way that respected their partner and remained sensitive to their feelings. They avoided being brutally honest, opting to use more thoughtful, caring language when expressing their views.

A combination of constant authenticity and unconditional empathy fostered a profoundly respectful, meaningful romance and a strong family.

5. They Value Both Self-Care and Mutual Care.

In many relationships, couples focus too much on self-interests or the partnership. They struggle to balance their desires with the needs of the relationship. However, almost all the couples the Blooms interviewed seemed to address self-care and mutual care equally. They maintained equilibrium between both aspects without neglecting either one.

Some even saw them as so interconnected that there weren’t any differences between them. In other words, by caring for themselves, they had more energy to look after the relationship. Sometimes, the opposite was true, depending on the couple’s unique needs. Also, the couples felt honored, rather than obligated, to have the responsibility of looking after themselves and the relationship.

6. The Happiest Couples Express Gratitude.

Finally, the Blooms found that the happiest relationships looked at the world through rose-colored glasses. This doesn’t mean they avoided problems but felt confident about their ability to overcome them. They regularly expressed gratitude for one another and their family, which helped buffer the stresses of life.

However, not all the couples displayed a natural propensity toward optimism. Sometimes, the more pessimistic partners adopt the attitudes of their other half throughout the marriage. Being around positivity so often helped them cultivate this mindset and deepened the romantic love they felt for their partner.

Final Thoughts on Qualities the Happiest Relationships Display

If you’ve been around couples that always seem cheerful, they probably weren’t always like that. Many couples spend years figuring each other out and constructively resolving problems. However, after a while, the happiest couples learn to maintain balance in the relationship through honesty, respect, and understanding.

Two licensed social workers, Linda and Charlie Bloom, discovered that the most successful relationships displayed six main qualities. These couples showed selflessness, gratitude, effective problem-solving, accountability, honesty, and service to one another.

These Relationship Sacrifices Aren’t Worth It, According to Psychology

August 28, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’ve learned that they require sacrifice. Still, some relationship sacrifices cause pain and disappointment. No matter how much you love someone, you must look after yourself. This can make the difference between a toxic and healthy romance.

Do you know the saying “love conquers all”? Be aware that you should take that with a grain of salt. Sometimes, love drives people insane and makes them irrational. And this can push you towards making all the wrong sacrifices. If you aren’t careful, you might sacrifice your dreams, integrity, happiness, and safety. The relationships that push you to offer that much are the ones that will scar you the most.

You will have nothing but a crazy, toxic, and co-dependent relationship. To have a healthy romance, you must learn which boundaries to enforce. Plus, it’s always better to end something that will eventually burst into flames than to sacrifice everything.

Why Do Relationships Become Toxic?

You might not want to believe that making too many relationship sacrifices is anything but beneficial. So, to better understand why that’s true, you need to know why an otherwise healthy romance can become toxic. If two toxic people get together, the relationship will inevitably be toxic. But often, only one person is unhealthy from the get-go. Or, even more common, it’s for neither of the people to be harmful. So, how do people who seem utterly healthy end up in bad relationships?

They sacrifice too much until it ends up eating away at them. When someone feels their needs are invalidated, they inevitably become worse. When people sacrifice too much, they give up on things they value. Maybe they give up on their freedom or individuality to appease the other person. Slowly, all these relationship sacrifices start to change you as a person. The more you give up, the moodier and sadder you’ll be. This is especially true if you don’t get something in return. Most of the time, these sacrifices are taken for granted if you don’t set boundaries.

So, your partner might quickly get used to them and expect you always to sacrifice. They will stop acknowledging your efforts to the point where you won’t feel appreciated. You’ll also be less likely to have your needs and wants to be respected and met by your partner. The inevitable power imbalance resulting from too many relationship sacrifices is at the core of this problem. There are two possibilities: you’re either the one who sacrifices everything or you both sacrifice more than you should. In the first case, you’ll end up being taken advantage of.

If your partner knows they can make you do anything, they’ll push you to the limit. Even though they are supposed to love you, they’ll still break you if that means they have something to gain. In the second case, you’ll keep swapping the power from one to the other. At some point, you’ll be “in charge,” so to say. And, when you lose that power, the other gains it. So, it’s a constant state of back and forth, with a sacrifice at the center of the problem. When you sacrifice, you lose the power, and you get taken advantage of.

This is not the only reason why relationships become toxic. But relationship sacrifice is and will always be a tricky subject. That’s not to say you should never make any sacrifices. You need to learn how and when to sacrifice. Setting boundaries and communicating are essential to any healthy romance. So, which relationship sacrifices should you avoid and why?

Which Relationship Sacrifices Aren’t Worth It?

1. Sacrificing Your Career

People’s careers are just as important, if not more important, than your romantic relationships. While it’s true that some people value romance above all else, it’s undeniable that everyone needs to have a salary. But there’s something vital that you should note. There’s a difference between a job and a career. Having a summer job that you don’t necessarily need can easily be sacrificed for love.

Especially if you think that relationship is meant to last, it would help if you never gave up on going to a top school because a partner doesn’t want you to. If you have opportunities that could change your life forever, you should always take them. Or if you get promoted to regional manager of your company before you turn thirty, that’s an opportunity that not most people get. If you get a job you’ve yearned for since you can remember, you should take it.

The list goes on and can change depending on your desires. It would be best to remember that you should never give up on such unique opportunities for a partner. If they genuinely love you, they’ll work to make the relationship work without you having to sacrifice. They will make a relationship sacrifice themselves so you can pursue and strengthen your career.

2. Sacrificing Your Dreams

Dreams are one of the most important things people can have. They motivate and push us to improve ourselves. Everyone needs to feel like they can dream. But what’s more important is being able to pursue those dreams. If people think they can’t fight for their dreams, that crushes their spirit. Even history has shown us that there’s nothing worse than robbing people of their dreams.

All social changes have been made by people who never stopped believing that things can take a turn for the better. Psychologically, people need to be allowed to hope for more. And fundamentally, that’s what dreams are all about. But when you manage a healthy romance, you could be inclined to sacrifice those dreams. An association often makes you think you can’t pursue as many crazy things as possible when you were single. Maybe you live with your partner, but your dream is to travel. In that case, you might feel like you must give up on your dream of staying with your partner.

Or maybe you feel pressured to share finances with your partner, so you can’t freely finance your travels. Or perhaps your dream is to have an animal shelter, but your partner hates animals. In that case, they won’t want you to pursue that goal. These are just some examples, but we could spend days listing all the possible situations. What’s important to know is that, in the long term, it’s not worth giving up your dreams. Someone who truly loves you will allow you to follow your dreams. But, once you feel like you need to sacrifice that pursuit, you know the relationship has turned for the worst.

3. Sacrificing Your Personality

You already know that everyone has preferences regarding the partner they choose. Many people even have a type or some strict criteria that their romantic interests need to meet. That means you won’t like everyone, and not everyone will like you. This is not an issue; you can quickly get over not being someone’s type. But some people don’t do that. Instead, they do something extremely toxic: try to change how the person they’re dating acts.

People who end up in unhealthy and toxic relationships sacrifice their personalities too often. They have to become docile and even submissive. A toxic partner usually wants you to be quieter and listen to whatever they ask you. So, when a partner asks you to change your personality, that’s a red flag. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t improve yourself. If you are mean and snappy and your partner asks you to work on that, that’s fair.

And that’s not a sacrifice; it’s just self-improvement. But if they ask you to stop being bubbly and quirky, that’s a relationship sacrifice you should never do. Don’t change who you are to keep someone around–that’s not a healthy romance.

4. Sacrificing Your Other Relationships

It’s normal to want to spend most of your time with your partner. It’s also normal for them to ask you to hang out if you haven’t made time for them in a while. But what’s not normal is having to forsake other relationships because that’s what your partner wants. Unfortunately, many romantic partners will have jealous tendencies. And, if they act on those feelings, they’ll ask for crazy relationship sacrifices. They might even want you to throw people out of your life so that they can feel more comfortable.

Sure, there are some instances in which your partner will have reasons to be jealous. If your ex is now your best friend, that’s suspicious. But those are not the cases we’re talking about. We’re discussing when your partner asks you to give up on friendships and family. And they don’t have to ask you directly to cut ties with important people. They have to push you to make many small relationship sacrifices. In time, all those sacrifices will add up, and you’ll risk losing essential people. Don’t give up on the ones you love just for a relationship.

Final Thoughts on Relationship Sacrifices That Aren’t Worth It

Having a romantic relationship is not something you need to achieve at all costs. In many cases, you’ll have to learn to choose between continuing that relationship and pursuing your happiness. When deciding, you must remember that not all relationship sacrifices are worth it. Learning to care for yourself and fulfill your needs is much more critical.

Don’t ever give up on your career or your dreams. Relationships come and go, but opportunities to pursue something you’ve always wished for are rare. Make sure you never sacrifice your personality to get someone to like you. And don’t push people you love aside to appease your partner. If you are in a healthy romance, your partner will always support you. They will never want you to make relationship sacrifices that hurt you. Instead, they’ll do their best to see you succeed.

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