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Avoid Saying These 8 Things to Someone With Depression

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Depression hits hard and can linger for long periods if left untreated. It’s the overwhelming sense of sadness, gloom, and doom. This mental disorder is debilitating, as it paralyzes the person into withdrawal and stress and can contribute to suicidal thoughts. These “blue moods” can turn into serious disorders that require treatment. Depression may also be a symptom of some other mental health issues.

Depression exists if you have at least five of the following symptoms for at least two consecutive weeks:

A depressed mood during most of the day. You might especially notice it in the morning
Fatigue or less energetic almost daily, or at least several days per week
Feeling worthless or guilty almost every day
Impaired concentration or indecisive
Insomnia (the inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (sleeping excessively) almost every day
Marked diminished interest or pleasure in most daily activities
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (no fear of death)
A sense of being slowed down
Restlessness
Unintentional and noticeable weight loss or weight gain

This mental illness is not a joking matter. The last thing anyone needs, suffering from this mental disorder is uncalled-for suggestions or sarcastic remarks. You might think you are helping by insensitive remarks, but they do not help.

8 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Struggles With Depression

Here are eight things you should avoid saying to someone suffering from depression:

1. “Will you snap out of it already?”

This statement dismisses the mental disorder. It makes the person feel as if he or she is feeling sorry for themselves. It forces the person encountering the sadness to introspect and withdraw from others. No one wants to be a burden to anyone.

What to say instead: “Would you like to talk about what you’re going through?” Offer a listening ear and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.

2. “It’s all in your mind.”

In our society, we have been ingrained with the stigma of mental illness as a considerable dysfunction. We are bombarded with the media’s constant scrutiny and negativity about depression, anxiety and other disorders. Even though millions of folks suffer from one sort of mental disorder, we are still incapable of being sensitive. We see mental illness/disorder as a sign of weakness. Saying this to a person is degrading their ability to feel emotions. You are letting them know that they are making things up.

What to say instead: “I’m here for you.” Let them know that you will support them no matter what.

3. “I thought you were stronger than this.”

Usually, those who make these types of comments are folks who, themselves, avoid confronting their emotional issues. This is a bullying attitude. It’s disregarding the person’s emotional state while trying to bulldoze yourself into a better mood. If only it were that easy!

What to say instead: “You’re strong for reaching out.” Acknowledge the courage taken to open up about their struggles and seek help.

4. “Suck it up, toughen up, life is hard for everyone.”

This statement is hardcore insensitive. It’s expressing a lack of compassion for sadness and emotions. Someone who says this has a massive issue with reaching their own emotions. In other words, it’s letting the person know that the universe doesn’t revolve around them. This also expresses that depression is a sign of weakness.

What to say instead: “Let’s find some resources together.” Help them explore treatment options or therapy, and offer to help them find a mental health professional if interested.

5. “No one ever said life is fair.”

This statement is the opposite of empathy. It’s like telling the depressed person to escape their self-absorbed world and return to reality. A depressed person has little energy to see clearly. The sadness is overwhelming. Depression is not selfish. It paralyzes the ability to see the positive side of life.

What to say instead: “It’s okay to not be okay.” Let them know that you understand that depression can be a complicated and overwhelming experience and that you don’t expect them to recover without support.

6. “Grow up.”

Depression can hit anyone. You aren’t exempt from it at any age. This comment expresses a lack of compassion and quickly discards the sufferer’s feelings. The underlying symptoms of depression are serious matters. “Grow up” is not the solution. Sometimes being so grown up and full of overwhelming responsibilities triggers depression.

What to say instead: “Take your time.” Let them know there’s no rush to heal and that taking things one day at a time is okay. Encourage them to focus on self-care and treat themselves well as they heal from their depression.

7. “Perhaps you should try learning from your mistakes.”

Some people believe that by pointing out another person’s flaws they are helping the person or giving them a different perspective. But someone suffering from depression already feels the world’s weight on their shoulders. What this statement does is create even more insecurities. The depressed person knows his/her mistakes. Bringing it up doesn’t help, but it causes more stress. It adds an intense sense of failure.

What to say instead: “It’s okay to ask for help.” Remind them that seeking help for depression is a sign of strength, not weakness.

8. “Happiness is a state of mind.”

A healthy mind can adjust to its surroundings. But, a mind under severe stressors, anxiety, or depression cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Depression can be triggered by a considerable loss or change in life. Mourning and sadness are parts of life. At this moment, this person cannot conquer the mind over matter. It’s not something they will quickly shake off.

What to say instead: “I believe in you.” Offer words of encouragement and support. These words let them know you have faith in their ability to overcome depression.

Final Thoughts on Knowing What to Say to Someone Dealing With Depression

Depression can arrive at many times in our lives. There is help out there. Our uplifting community on Facebook, psychotherapy, medication, natural cures, and alternative life changes can lessen the burden. If you are suffering from this disorder, please get help and don’t entertain such comments as those above. Your mental and physical health is invaluable; you do not need anyone projecting how you should feel when you need loving support.

Research Reveals 7 Signs of A Nervous Breakdown To Never Ignore

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The Mayo Clinic describes a nervous breakdown as “a stressful situation in which someone becomes temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life. It’s commonly understood to occur when life’s demands become physically and emotionally overwhelming. The term was frequently used in the past to cover a variety of mental disorders, but it’s used less often today.”

The term “nervous breakdown” is not a medical term. It also does not specify a mental illness. A nervous breakdown, however, can indicate mental health problems that need addressing. These can be derived from depression, anxiety, or stress. It may be a huge indicator that you’ve reached a limit on how much you can take and endure in your present state of being “stressed out” or “at the end of your rope.” There is a limit to how much we can endure. Recognizing the signs that can lead to other health issues is essential.

Here are seven warning signs of a nervous breakdown:

1. Lack of concentration.

According to the University of Maryland Medical Center, stress can boost your brainpower by releasing hormones that increase memory storage and help in concentration. Unfortunately, chronic stress affects your attention span, ability to focus on projects, and normal functions. In severe cases, the stress hormone cortisol can actually lessen your memory. It’s essential to recognize your stress levels and make time to do things that can reduce the heaviness. You can exercise, be outside in nature, or even take time to meditate.

2. Irregular heartbeat.

You may feel an irregular heartbeat when you have a nervous breakdown. You feel your heart pounding against your chest, and it becomes hard to breathe. Oftentimes, you may even begin to sweat. A panic attack has similar symptoms. When you get this checked by a doctor, the symptoms will show that everything is fine. Good deep breaths with long inhales and exhales, as well as stretching, can help with opening up the chest area. Anxiety and stress can mimic the symptoms of heart problems.

3. Upset stomach.

Stomachaches are often physical signs of anxiety and stress. If you notice increased stomach pain, constipation, gas, bloating, or diarrhea, you could suffer from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). IBS is triggered by the immune system’s responses to stress. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anywhere from 50 to 90 percent of those suffering from IBS have a mental health condition, like generalized anxiety disorder or depression. If you suspect you have IBS, talk to your doctor about physical and emotional relief options.

4. Tension headaches.

Stress can cause tremendous headaches. We tend to hold everything inside, and the body tenses. Our neck and shoulder muscles become rigid, and the next thing that’s affected is our head. Notice your posture. Are you slouching? Are you sitting up properly and walking straight? When we are under stress, our physical and emotional bodies get attacked. Our muscles work overtime, especially around the head and neck area, ready for fight-or-flight mode. Tension headaches can also be signs of other health issues. If your headaches persist for weeks on end, please seek professional medical assistance.

5. Sleep problems.

Lack of sleep is one of the most common causes of mental stress, especially extreme stress levels. Depression causes more extended periods of sleep and the inability to function correctly during the day. Too much sleep is triggered by too much stress, anxiety, and other mental disorders. Symptoms of insomnia include lying awake for long periods before falling asleep, short sleep intervals, being awake for the more significant part of the night, overwhelming feeling of not sleeping at all, and/or waking up too early in the morning. Your doctor will diagnose sleep problems based on your medical and sleep histories during a physical exam.

6. Depression.

Nervous breakdowns can be part of depression. Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings, and sense of well-being. Depression can be the underlying cause of your nervous breakdown. If you have little interest or pleasure in doing the normal things in your life or you feel hopeless, these are severe signs of depression. If you have restless thoughts or suicidal thoughts, please get professional help. Untreated bouts of depression can lead to tremendous mental and physical health problems.

7. Anxiety.

Anxiety is caused by fear and phobias. It’s the inability to see past this moment with an overwhelming sense of paralysis. Being fully stressed out all the time is a common symptom of anxiety. Anxiety disrupts sleep, causing racing thoughts for hours at a time. While some anxiety is generalized, others can be more specific. When the anxiety connects to something specific, like certain situations, it can be crippling. Medication for anxiety is common in severe cases. Psychotherapy and other mind-body modalities, such as acupuncture, yoga, and hypnotherapy, can reduce stress and fears.

As with every significant change in your health, please do not ignore symptoms that persist. A nervous breakdown can cause many other health problems. It’s important to recognize that we may need help to cope with the stressors, anxieties, and sadness every so often. Don’t deny those who love you the chance to support and nurture you.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

This Is What The Color of Your Pee Reveals About Your Health

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Urine is your body’s liquid waste product. Your urine is a combination of water, salt and chemicals called urea and uric acid, which form when your kidneys filter your blood of waste products. Medication, illnesses, and certain foods can affect how your urine smells and what color it is. The color, consistency, and smell of your pee can indicate certain things about your health, like how hydrated you are, whether there is an infection in your bladder or urinary tract or whether your kidneys are functioning correctly.

What the Color of Your Urine Reveals About Your Health

Yellow Color

Your urine should be a pale gold color. The color comes from urochrome, which is a pigment your body manufactures. If your urine is clear, you are either very well hydrated due to drinking lots of water or taking a diuretic that helps your body get rid of liquid waste. If your urine is a dark honey color, you are likely a little dehydrated. It would help if you drank fluids, preferably water, but pure, cold-pressed fruit juice or vegetable juice is good too. It would be best if you stayed away from caffeinated drinks like coffee, soda, tea, or energy drinks, as caffeine is a natural diuretic and will dehydrate you more quickly.

Pink or Reddish Color

Some foods like carrots and beets can turn your urine slightly pink. Some medications, like the antibiotic rifampin or phenazopyridine, which treats urinary tract infections, can also turn your pee pink. There may also be blood in your urine, which could signify kidney disease, urinary tract infections, prostate issues, kidney stones, or a tumor. Always see your physician if your urine is a red or pink color. Extreme exercise can also cause your urine to be pink or the color of cola due to muscle injury and kidney damage.

Orange Color

The same drugs and antibiotics that cause your urine to be pink or red could also cause an orange color. High doses of vitamin B2 could also cause the urine to turn orange. It could also signify that you are dehydrated or have a liver or bile duct issue. Consult your physician if you are drinking plenty of water, not on those antibiotics, and still have orange-colored urine. If you also have pale stools, yellowish skin, and eyes, it may be a sign that your liver is malfunctioning.

Blue or Green Color

Some other medications, like the anesthetic propofol or the allergy medicine promethazine, can cause your urine to turn a green or blue color. The usual reason for such a color is artificial dyes in your food being voided through your urine. Green color can also be the result of a pseudomonas bacterial infection. If the color doesn’t fade after a few days, consult your doctor.

Deep Red or Brown Color

A deep red or brownish color urine is an identifying characteristic of porphyria, which is a rare and inherited genetic disorder of the red blood cells. It could also indicate liver disease if it is a brown ale or syrup color. You could also be dehydrated. See your doctor if this condition persists.

Foamy or Frothy

Regardless of color, if your pee looks foamy or bubbly, you may void a lot of protein, which can indicate an issue with your kidneys, and you should see a doctor immediately.

Cloudy or Murky

Urinary tract infections and kidney stones can make your urine appear cloudy.

Smell

When dehydrated, the urine is very concentrated and will smell strongly of ammonia. Some foods like asparagus will cause your urine to smell strong, as will some medications and vitamins like B6 supplements.

Things you don’t see

There are things in your urine like low blood levels that won’t turn the urine a different color or sugar, which could be an indicator of diabetes. Make sure you get yearly checkups, including urinalysis, to check for those invisible things.

Psychologist Reveals These 4 Behaviors Are The Biggest Predictors of Divorce

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The divorce rate for couples in the U.S. is between 40 and 50 percent, so it is important to understand the 4 behaviors that psychologists say are the biggest predictors of divorce. Knowing these four behaviors is not the same as fixing the problems that may or may not be present in your marriage, but we also have some advice on what you can change to avoid the unfortunate ending of what was once a happy beginning.

Psychologist Reveals These Four Behaviors Are The Biggest Predictors of Divorce

By no means is this a comprehensive list of all the things that can go wrong in a marriage, but science backs up these behaviors that can lead to the demise of your relationship. This is an excellent place to start with for what to do less of or avoid if you want to live happily ever after into your golden years.

1 – A lack of communication may indicate a couple heading toward divorce.

The first sign is a lack of communication. Stonewalling is when one partner withdraws from the conversation, either to avoid conflict, or to avoid discussing an uncomfortable issue. Shutting off communication with your spouse by ignoring them as you check your phone, or watch TV, is obnoxious behavior that can lead to divorce because it makes your partner feel unappreciated.

See behavior number four (below) for more about communication problems and how to solve them. If you feel that tightening in your gut and chest when your partner brings up a topic that you’d rather not discuss, face your fears, put down the phone, and give them a listen. Of course, the hope is that they will do the same for you because marriage is a partnership and it’s going to take both of you working on things to make it successful.

2 – Unhealthy relationships may be fraught with negativity

The second sign is exclusively expressing negative feelings. Bottling up your emotions is unhealthy, but expressing only negative ones toward your partner might be one of the most significant predictors of divorce.

Do you nitpick at your partner’s behavior? Do they nitpick at yours? These petty, negative discussions may predict whether or not your divorce. Of course, you dislike things about your partner and vice versa, but bringing them up does not change your behavior. It only makes your partner resentful that you don’t seem to love them just as they are.

Instead, you might try a more positive approach. For example, ‘I appreciate it when you put your dirty laundry in the hamper’ versus ‘Do you have to leave your smelly socks on the living room floor every day?’ You can see the difference. Catch your spouse doing something right and praise them a lot. Try to stop making negative comments and ask them to do the same. A lifetime of these negative statements can wear away at the love and intimacy you once felt for each other.

3 – Changes in physical affection may be a divorce warning sign.

The third warning sign is a noticeable decrease in affection toward your partner. Sure, you love your spouse, but do your actions and words show them this daily?

No one wants to feel taken for granted, and when they do, they start to wonder if they are in the right relationship for them because they could get more affection elsewhere. Research has found that not showing affection toward your partner could lead to divorce.

4 – Couples on the rocks are less responsive to each others’ needs.

The fourth and final warning sign of divorce is a lack of responsiveness to your partner. Active listening is a skill that is often overlooked by most people when it comes to maintaining harmony in a relationship and avoiding divorce. Researchers at the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington were able to predict divorce accurately 83% of the time and marital happiness 80% of the time based on several factors, including those we have already mentioned.

In addition to the above factors, actively listening and engaging with your spouse is important. When your partner speaks, listen as if your marriage depended on it, because it does. Put away distractions, turn your face and body toward your partner, make eye contact, and quiet your inner thoughts and judgments about what they are saying. Calm your emotional state as well and pay full attention.

When your partner speaks, nod, and say things like ‘I understand.’

No matter what your partner says, try to summarize what you understood from their words.

For example, you might say this. “I can understand why you might be upset that I left my socks on the living room floor, and I appreciate that you would prefer them in the laundry basket.”

Even if you choose not to pick up your socks right then, actively listening, demonstrating understanding, and acknowledging your partner’s negative emotions alone will help your partner feel understood and appreciated, which can help you avoid divorce.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Happy vs. Unhappy: 10 Things Happy People Do Differently

August 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

What makes happy people love life? What is their secret to living in joy? Is it that they see the glass is half full, or that the glass is actually refillable? Happy people attract more of the things that make them content. They know not to sweat the small stuff, and when to walk away from those things that are toxic.

We have been taught to believe in several myths about happiness: Money makes you happy; being in a relationship makes you fulfilled and happy; the older you get, the less happiness you will find. But, these are myths that have been debunked by truly inspiring and happy folks. Visionary and inspiring author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, knew the secret to happiness. He said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Happiness is a shift in perception.

Here are ten things that happy people do differently

1. Compassion versus animosity

Happy people love to help others. They know that by giving to the less fortunate, they feel they’ve made a difference in someone’s life. And, this brings joy. A person who has no compassion is merciless and cannot see the joy in giving. They are selfish. Empathy pulls and tugs in the heart of a happy person. They enjoy giving more than receiving.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

2. Accept versus resist

These beautiful souls accept life as it appears. They aren’t always in perfect harmony with their circumstances, but they learn to find lessons in all challenges and evolve from there. An unhappy person resists, and we know that whatever we resist will persist. Happy people go with the flow. They know that things happen for the higher knowledge of growth and the expansion of our soul.

3. Love versus apathy

Joyful people love everyone. Love exudes from their being. They are able to see the best in anyone. Because of this, they can find qualities in others that aren’t visibly there. The person who carries hate in their heart is always miserable. They are full of apathy, anger, and intolerance. They judge from a place of fear. But, love is what makes a happy person shine.

4. Forgiveness versus unforgiving

Happy people don’t hold onto grudges. They don’t regret things and carry them around. Indeed, they release resentment because they know that it damages the mind, body, and spirit. They let go of the past. They know that in order to continue finding joy, they have to release whatever has happened. People who are unforgiving tend to attract misery, negativity, and illnesses into their lives. Rubin Khoddam wrote in Psychology Today, “Forgiveness is not saying what happened was okay. Forgiveness is not saying you accept the person who wronged you. Instead, forgiveness is choosing to accept what happened as it happened rather than what could or should have happened. Forgiveness can mean that you let go. Forgiveness can mean you love from a distance. Forgiveness can mean you step into your present rather than anchoring in the past.” And, this is how a happy person forgives.

5. Admiration versus criticism

Happy people struggle like everyone to reach their goals, but they don’t hold on to self-judgment or criticism. They believe that you reach your dreams by staying positive. They know that family is the highest thing on their priorities. And, they treat everyone with dignity and respect. The unhappy person judges and criticizes another in order to feel better about themselves. They live in a state of insecurity.

6. Obstacles versus problems

Happy people aren’t exempt from struggles. They still have major financial issues, relationships that end, and other life challenges. However, these type of positive people cultivate happiness even in moments of deep life-changing struggles. Oftentimes, they see a challenge as an opportunity to do something different. If they lost their job, they might take the time to find something else that calls for their passion. If a relationship ended, they might see it as a chance to travel alone. They see the silver lining in the horizon and run towards it.

7. Abundance versus poverty

The positive person attracts an abundance of all types. It’s not just money. They attract a wealth of information, people, and health. They are able to witness how wealth is attracted by positive thinking. The negative person lives in a poverty and scarcity mindset. They live in fear of not having, lead by tremendous anxiety. Happy believes in the power of manifesting dreams.

8. Strengths versus weakness

Happy folks utilize their strengths to get ahead. They don’t focus on weakness and the lack of anything. They know that when you work hard, you see results. Whereas the negative, unhappy person tends to live in victimization mode. Joy is a high-frequency vibration in the body and it strengthens everything around you. The happy person utilizes this as much as possible.

9. Gratitude versus ingratitude

French novelist Marcel Proust said it beautifully, “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Happy people look at everything with rose-colored glasses, opening up perspectives and being fully conscious of their world. They live in gratitude. It’s not just about being grateful with others. They are grateful with just being in this world, navigating all sorts of rocky waters. They don’t take things for granted. The happy person makes sure they give thanks as much as possible. They are humbled and full of humility.

10. Positivity versus negativity

We all know that one person who is always saying positive things. Life may be difficult for her, but she still remains faithful to seeing the good in everything. Positivity is not just an attitude, it’s a way of life. Happy people also take responsibility for their decisions and actions without blaming others. They live in a state of high awareness that there are sudden fluctuations in the journey, but there is a deeper reason for things that happen.

Happiness arrives from within. No job, relationship status, destination, or circumstance can provide it for you. It is an inside job. The moment you shift your awareness and raise your vibration to joy, you will find a solution to your problems. Expect the miracles. Happy people live through serendipity and the magic of chances.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How to Tell If Your Partner Is Your Soulmate (Or Not)

August 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Do you have a mental list of what you expect and desire in a soulmate? Does your current partner match up to that list, or some of those characteristics?

We often attract our partners in an unconscious manner that does fulfill what we want in a life partner. Sometimes it’s enough, while other times it doesn’t come close to what we desire. When you meet your soulmate, you know it. There is an undeniable attraction that goes beyond that list that has been mentally creating itself since childhood. But what happens when some characteristics or qualities don’t appear in our partner? How do we know what to look for?

Here are 11 qualities that let you know if your partner is your soulmate or not:

1. Will they support your heart’s desire?

Not only does your partner support your dreams, he or she makes it possible for you to reach them. This person is your number one cheerleader and supporter of what makes you happy. Your partner doesn’t just give you a helping hand, he or she helps you build the path towards reaching whatever you desire. And, this person doesn’t criticize how you get there either.

2. Do they add purpose to your own path?

Your partner enriches you with love. He or she brings out the best in you while giving you confidence, security, and respect. Your partner is a constant source of nourishment. It’s not that you can’t live without this person, but that you shine because of his or her presence. Your partner reinforces the fairytale story of being in love.

3. Do they make you laugh from the inside out?

Can you be silly with your partner? Do you have fun with your significant other in ways that are absolutely childish and fun? Is he or she the most amazing person to get you out of a bad mood? If your partner makes you laugh, rather than make you cry and depressed, you have a gem. This person is the joy that makes your heart skip a beat. Keep that person close to you.

4. Can they compromise?

Mark D. White, PhD, writes in Psychology Today: “A healthy relationship should affirm who each partner is and allow each person to meet his or her needs together with the other. A lesser relationship demands that one or both partners change in a deep and meaningful way to meet the needs of the other, which compromises one or both of the persons involved. In such cases, the compromise serves the relationship, which is backwards—the relationship should serve the persons in it.”

A healthy partnership has the ability to compromise without hurting one another.

5. Can you trust them?

It’s believed in our society, that betrayal is inevitable. However, when you are in a loving and trusting relationship, it is never an issue. If your partner isn’t giving you reasons to distrust him or her, then you are in a secure and nurturing relationship. Your partner should be giving you the confidence to trust and be trusting. It is a two-way street. When there is no insecurity in a relationship, then there is no need to distrust.

6. Are they forgiving?

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. At some point in a relationship, there will be disagreements, heavy compromises and then forgiveness. If you and your partner can easily forgive, then you are in a beautiful soulmate relationship. If your partner isn’t constantly bringing things up from the past, or rehashing old fights, this person is a keeper. The most rewarding characteristic in a loving relationship is the ability to let go of the past.

7. Does your partner show you gratitude and appreciation?

Your partner values your thoughts and opinions and shows gratitude for them. He or she appreciates the little things you do. And, because of your partner’s behavior, you give of yourself even deeper. Nothing says acceptance more than feeling seen, heard and appreciated. We all want to be acknowledged, and your partner should be the number one source of this feeling.

8. Do they love (all of) you?

You partner loves you wholeheartedly with all quirks, eccentricities, and neuroses. You both accept one another unconditionally and bring out the best qualities in each other. And, because he or she accepts all of you, he/she accepts your family and friends (which are a part of your life). We all have flaws, so your partner should be the one person to never magnify what the rest of the world tends to already do for you.

9. Can you safely be vulnerable?

You don’t have to be afraid of your partner running away from your emotions. He/she can assist you through emotional waters. Vulnerability is not feared in your relationship. You can be at your weakest and your partner will help you find your strength. There is an unsound ability to being raw and not feel judged. If your partner allows you to shed your soul without criticism, he or she is a gem.

10. Can you be your authentic self around them?

Partnership is the union of two souls coming together in a contract to love and support one another. This doesn’t mean that you lose yourself in the process. A real soulmate allows you to be who you are without needing to fix you, reshape you, or restructure your characteristics. He or she indulges in your authentic power and grows from there. You both can have different needs, desires, abilities, friends, hobbies, and creativity without feeling responsible or making excuses for the other. There is no jealousy or sense of worthlessness.

11. Do you feel they bring out your best?

Your partner wants nothing more than to journey this life with you. He or she wants to experience life to the fullest with you. Your soulmate is your navigator through all the deep and rocky waters. This person enhances the most wonderful parts of you. If your lover is able to help you navigate through life with joy, stability, and loyalty, he/she is a soulmate.

“When you’re in love, you’re capable of learning everything and knowing things you had never dared even to think, because love is the key to understanding of all the the mysteries.” ~ Paulo Coelho

6 Behaviors People Think Are Negative (That Are Actually Positive)

August 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Do you ever find that you beat yourself up over a certain action or behavior? For example, maybe you broke down and cried about something recently and later felt weak or inadequate. We all get these feelings sometimes, but we should never apologize for showing our authentic selves. Humans are emotional creatures, and all too often in this world, we must put on a happy face and pretend for the sake of others. However, you should never feel sorry for showing your emotions.

Here are 6 behaviors people think are negative (that are actually good for positive):

1. Feeling lost

In this world, finding your way seems more difficult than ever. People constantly want to tell you the next step to take, or how to improve your life, or what you should go to college for. However, confusion and loneliness can ensue if you don’t have the answer in your own heart. We’ve always been told what path to take, but we’ve never been told to question that path. Feeling lost is a part of growing up, and it’s all part of your journey home.

Remember, no one truly knows what they’re doing here; it’s all just a game, and we’re still learning all the rules. So, embrace feeling lost. Own your behaviors. You never know what you might discover when you leave the paved trail and carve one on your own.

2. Expressing anger or frustration with negative behaviors

While many people think of anger as volatile and destructive, anger is still a natural human emotion. What you do with that anger however, is an entirely different story. When you express anger about something, you release that emotion from your body. You probably have noticed that after an argument or big confrontation, you feel much lighter and more clear-minded afterwards. So, expressing anger can liberate you from what weighs you down, as long as you do it in a way that doesn’t verbally or physically harm others.

Anger happens when we’ve been wronged, and showing that emotion can bring about positive change. For example, by showing how you feel to the other person, they’ll get to hear your point of view and could possibly change their ways based on your side of the story. Holding in anger usually leads to more severe problems, while releasing that emotion can emancipate you from emotional prison.

While you should never yell at or physically hurt someone, you can firmly hold your ground and let the other person know how you feel. Never apologize for your emotions; they exist for a reason.

3. Turning on the tears

Just like other emotions, many people normally suppress feelings of sadness because they don’t like to cry. Of course, no one likes to feel sad, but tears serve a significant purpose. They help us to release pent-up emotions and feelings while lowering stress levels. Tears can show others how we feel so that they can attempt to help us. No one can figure out all the answers here, and sometimes we get so frustrated, lost, confused, and depressed that all we can do IS cry. So, don’t look at crying as the enemy; it can help you heal, release, and fill your body and mind with positivity again.

In fact, a 2008 study from the University of South Florida found that crying helps to boost moods and self-soothe more effectively than any antidepressant. Crying helped to improve the mood of 90% of participants, while only 8% said they felt worse.

4. Solitude

We live in a social world, so it’s easy to feel pressured to do things with others constantly. However, spending time alone has its benefits. First, you’ll never truly feel comfortable around others until you can learn to enjoy your own company. We must go deep within and channel higher energies to honestly know and love ourselves. Only then can we feel comfortable with solitude, and only then can we feel comfortable amongst others. The world can be overwhelming, and there’s no harm in taking the time to recharge alone in the tranquility of your own home or favorite place.

5. Challenging the mainstream

We all wanted to fit in as children, but now that we’ve gotten older, we all want to stand out. We want to be someone, to leave our mark, and to become our truest selves. To do this, we must question the world around us and determine whether we agree. Most people disagree with something about this world, but actually taking action against it and coming up with something better takes courage and innovation. However, those who challenge the mainstream and carve their own way have followed their heart and intuition.

Challenging mainstream behaviors means listening to your inner voice over the many voices of others telling you how to live, and you should never apologize for living your truth. Trying to fit in will only take you as far as the crowd; being yourself will take you past it.

6. Being stubborn and other harmful behaviors

People tend to view stubbornness as a negative trait, but being stuck in your ways doesn’t always have to be bad. For example, if you want to travel the world but your parents and friends see it as irresponsible and entitled, you will probably stand your ground and list all the positives of taking time off to explore. Being stubborn just means that you know in your heart what you want and that others would never have any idea what behaviors and outcomes you truly desire.

5 Habits of Highly Productive People

August 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

When we think of highly productive people, we tend to imagine the ‘workaholic’, with no intact social life. However, highly productive people can manage their days and affairs and get things done. They can be artists, writers, and CEOs of corporations. They’re the risk-takers and inventors. They know what need doing and when they can take a break to play. These productive individuals have positive attitudes, can focus for long periods, and follow through with any given task.

What makes them so special? Perhaps it’s their positive outlook and can-do attitudes.

Here are five daily habits of highly productive people:

Adopt these habits and watch your productivity skyrocket.

1. They make a winning game plan from the start.

These energetic people have their days planned out. They keep schedules, make appointments, write them down, and follow-through. Before they go to bed, they already know what’s going to happen the next day. The Wharton School’s teacher and psychologist, Adam M. Grant, wrote a book about these types of people, which he calls “Originals.” They are the ones who move past the everyday matters and, even with some deviation, they tend to return to whatever project they are working on. Grant discusses the ability to even use procrastination as a tool to step away from something and return with clear eyes. The productive individual gives himself plenty of time to do things, and can also acknowledge when they can’t get them done. These people also know that no play makes them stressed, so they make time to exercise and have fun.

2. They know what they are doing

Even if they deviate from a plan or are distracted by someone, the highly productive individual can return to what they were doing. They have focus and they appreciate others giving some input. They don’t let overwhelming emotions of doubt or uncertainty dictate their days. These people know that they own their time. They can manage it however they need to in order to work for them. Sociologist, Christine Carter, Ph.D., of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, put it this way: “Busyness is not a marker of intelligence, importance, or success. Taken to an extreme, it is much more likely a marker of conformity, powerlessness, or fear.” These types of people don’t see being busy as a waste of time, and they also know when to stop what they are doing. They aren’t obsessed, but they can become overly focused on certain projects.

3. They know what comes first.

The productive individual knows how to follow through with projects, deadlines, and tasks. They also know when to say “no” and when to set healthy boundaries. They are moved by integrity and have an outstanding work ethic. Finally, they don’t step over anyone. The highly productive person works hard to achieve their goals and expects others to do the same. Adam Grant says that “To become original, you have to try something new, which means accepting some measure of risk.” It’s in taking risks and following them that new ventures unfold. These types of individuals know what it is to create and continue creating from the same place. They also know how to find new resources and never give up.

4. Brick wall? They’ve got a hammer.

The best person to have on your team is a highly productive go-getter. They will find solutions to all problems, usually by looking outside of the issue. They believe that there is always a different way to everything. These folks have positive attitudes. They don’t allow others to bring them down to negativity. Productivity coach and author, Hilary Rettig, says, “Highly productive people respond to barriers, problems, and challenges with much more of a problem-solving orientation. On the other hand, people who are unproductive try to shame and blame themselves into productivity, which only causes more paralysis.”

5. They know what goes where, when.

Highly productive people do not tolerate chaos around their work spaces. They need organization. Even their thoughts come out as bullet points. They tend to be methodical in nature, and love to put things in order. These folks are visual in nature. They may seem as if they are multitasking, but these types of people get things done in a timely manner. They can be juggling several things at once. But there is always one that takes priority until it’s finished. They know how to manage their time wisely and also get help.

The highly productive individual wants to see others succeed. They help others move up the corporate ladder. They also know that it takes coordination, cooperation and collaboration to get things done. It’s not just having a goal or a plan. Things get accomplished when you have other responsible-focusing individuals on a team. It takes a village! And this simple motto is what makes them so likable and productive.

George Bernard Shaw said it perfectly in describing this type of individual: “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

The highly productive individual is the unreasonable man who takes “no” for an answer and enjoys the risks ahead.

10 Dreams People Have Often (And What They Mean)

August 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Did you know that, on average, people have 1,460 dreams per year? This equates to 4 dreams per night!

According to The Dream Encyclopedia, the word “dream” comes from the German word draugmas, meaning deception, illusion, or phantom, or from the Old Norse word draugr, meaning ghost or apparition. Some believe it could also be related to the Sanskrit word druh, which means seek to harm or injure.

Though the origin of the word dreams seems a bit dark, our dreams can tell us alot about ourselves, our lives, and even our futures. Of course, everyone interprets dreams differently, but the following dreams occur too often for people to just dismiss them as nonsense.

Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, believed that dreams help us tap into the unconscious mind and offer us advice, sort of like a therapist or counselor. The universe tries to talk to us in many different ways, and dreams just serve as one medium that it uses. The following dreams seem to occur frequently for many people, so we’ll discuss what they wish to divulge to you below.

10 Dreams People Have Often (And What They’re Trying To Tell You)

1. Falling

Easily one of the most common dreams people have, dream experts actually believe that having this dream means you feel you have no control over a certain aspect of life, or you’ve failed at something important. Usually, the dreamer never hits bottom, instead waking up before they get the chance to touch solid ground again. This dream may also mean that you need to let go of something that holds you back.

2. Being chased

Another very common dream, being chased can mean several things. The most popular interpretation is that you need to face something head on rather than constantly running from it. Your subconscious wants you to tackle those fears and face those demons, instead of trying to outrun them. It could also mean that you feel threatened by someone or something, and want to run from danger.

3. Being naked in front of people

Many of us have probably had this dream at least once, and as you might have already guessed, it means that you feel vulnerable and exposed. The fear of others seeing you naked actually symbolizes embarrassment about a certain part of your soul that you wish to hide from others, or a secret that you don’t want anyone else to know. It normally has nothing to do with body image, but rather, an insecurity about how other people perceive you. If you have this dream often, take it as a sign to work on self-confidence and feeling comfortable in your own skin, despite what others may think.

4. Flying

Flying is probably one of the most fun dreams to have, especially if you’ve mastered lucid dreaming. This dream normally means that you want freedom, whether mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically. Maybe you feel trapped in your life and want a way out. It can also serve as a symbol of success, suggesting that you have recently achieved one of your goals and now look down on the world with a feeling of accomplishment and pride.

5. Sexual fantasies

While this dream could just symbolize unfulfilled wishes of intimacy with someone, it can also mean that you desire emotional closeness with someone. It can mean that you feel isolated or lonely, and crave connection with other people. Furthermore, it might mean that you need to develop your relationship with your own self, especially if you’ve been neglecting yourself lately.

6. Death

While this dream can actually represent an impending death, it usually means something quite positive. Normally, death represents something far less literal, something like a rebirth of the self. It normally means the end of one chapter in your life, and the beginning of another. If you have felt stuck in your life recently, this dream could signify a new start for you in the near future.

7. People

People that you have a close relationship with may appear in your dreams often, and while this just might mean that you have lots of great memories together, try to look at it on a deeper level. It may mean that you wish you had the aspects of their personalities that come out in the dream. In other words, a part of you wants to be like them in some manner. Take this a sign to work on yourself more.

8. Taking a test in school

Some people view life as one giant test, where we continually learn lessons and pass mini-tests before the big one at the end. If you dream about taking a test in school, you might feel that you’re being closely analyzed, and you fear disappointing others or being seen as a failure. Tests usually point to our own insecurities, and our need to compare ourselves to others. We don’t want to feel left behind or shunned from the pack, so dreaming of taking a test could mean that you have doubts about your own abilities and strengths.

9. Traveling

Whether by car, bus, train, or plane, this dream signifies your desire for movement, and a break from the routines. You feel restless and bored with your life, and long for something more exciting. It could also mean that you want to run from yourself in fear of what you might uncover.

10. Being in an uncontrolled car

Just like the falling dream, this one symbolizes a lack of control in your life. It means you have let others take the reigns, giving up your own power to create your world. This dream means you need to take back your life, and start working on those aspects of it that you feel you can’t control.

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