Likeable people have an aura of confidence and joyfulness. They are always smiling. These folks don’t carry the world on their shoulders or have anything that forces negativity when they are in your presence. Their behavior is easy. But, what makes a person likeable? What attracts us to them?
Here are 6 behaviors that make people like you more:
1. They want nothing in return.
Likeable people genuinely ask for nothing. They sit with you, share over a cup of coffee, and engage in a conversation. They make eye contact. They smile. They truly don’t want anything but being with you. The likeable individual places you in the moment. Author Toni Morrison shared with Oprah many years ago in an interview, that one of the most important aspects that we have in our possession is the art of being present with anyone. If someone walks into the room, give that person your attention.
Likeable people have this ability to put whomever is around them first and foremost for attention. They want to help and will offer assistance with wholehearted presence. A likeable person wants to help you, but not for their benefit. They want to make sure they can be of service to you because they have endured their shares of struggles.
2. They have incredible listening powers.
A likeable individual will let you talk and share about your life. When you walk away from them, you immediately think, “Wow, what a great person. I know nothing about them.” They will make you the center of attention and have no problem making you feel lighter with all that you shared. They have an ability feel like a free therapy session. Many times you will even admit, “I’ve never shared this with anyone before.”
These folks have such a beautiful sense of awesomeness that the person talking doesn’t realize that they haven’t even asked about them. But, that’s the incredible characteristic of a likeable person: they are never selfish. They believe everyone is owed a moment of feeling special. After all, don’t we all want to be heard?
3. They aren’t insecure.
Likeable people have no hangups about how others see them. They are happy in their own skins. They know that when they are in a group setting, they are going to meet a bunch of people. The likeable person has the ability to transfer that confidence to others when they speak with them. You can’t be jealous of a person who is providing space for you to feel good about yourself. They compliment others with easiness.
These type of people don’t care how anyone sees them. They only want to make sure you know your greatness. They will do anything to make you feel good about yourself. You can start a conversation with them, complaining, and they will change it and say something like, “Isn’t that an amazing opportunity for you to….”
4. They are genuine folks.
The likeable person has nothing to prove. What you see is what you get with them. They are genuine in all aspects. If they don’t like something, they will let you know. They speak up and share with others, even if the subject matter isn’t one to agree with. They have the ability to let you know, “I admire your opinion. Let’s agree to disagree.” And they will say this in a non-condescending manner that doesn’t feel intrusive. It’s just a matter of choosing your language and your tone. The likeable person knows that words have power, and they will utilize language in the most common fashion without ever feeling attacked.
5. They do not judge or criticize.
These folks like everyone. And, if they don’t understand something, they will accept it as is, but never judge or criticize you for what you are doing. The likeable person believes that everyone is entitled to their own lessons, opportunities, and opinions. They learn from others. These people know that diversity is the secret to growth. If you want to be liked, start with holding back any judgment against another. Likeable people have no class barriers or standards. They can sit with the homeless person as easily as with a rich one. They know that life has ups and downs and everyone is the same.
6. They touch people.
The likeable person has little personal boundaries. They like to touch and hug. It doesn’t matter who you are. They enjoy feeling the person nearby, and not in a creepy way, of course. They make you feel comfortable. They are not pushing themselves on you. These people know how to read body language. They aren’t shy individuals, whether it is a pat on the shoulders, a hand shake or a hug, the likeable person has a connection with you. If you are trying to be likeable and have an issue with touching others, a hand shake will do. Touching is one of the most expressive arts of communication.
In an article for Psychology Today, Rick Chillot shares that, “By the time we’re adults, most of us have learned that touching tends to raise the stakes, particularly when it comes to a sense of connectivity. Even fleeting contact with a stranger can have a measurable effect, both fostering and enhancing cooperation. In research done back in 1976, clerks at a university library returned library cards to students either with or without briefly touching the student’s hand. Student interviews revealed that those who’d been touched evaluated the clerk and the library more favorably. The effect held even when students hadn’t noticed the touch.”
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Likeable people are liked because of what they give: full attention, compliments, listening skills and friendly advice. They are teachers and givers of time. They laugh at themselves and rarely show any negative qualities. Whatever is happening in their lives, they move past those things with grace. If you want to be liked you have to be selfless, giving, and willing to put others in front of the conversations. The likeable person just wants to be present and enjoy.