You might wonder how certain people seem to attract the right people so easily; maybe they have some magic spells they perform each night to make people like them, or maybe they just have a likeable personality…
Even though some people naturally have a more outgoing, friendly personality, that doesn’t mean you need to become the loudest, funniest, most transparent person in the room in order to make friends.
People gravitate toward others who they perceive as good listeners, attentive, kind, and understanding. Also, being genuine and open will make others feel as though they can trust you, because you don’t try too hard or put on a mask. In our world today, many of us still hide our face due to fear of judgment or ridicule, or because we don’t know how to really act around others, but getting people to like you doesn’t have to feel like learning a new language.
Presenting yourself to the right people in a way that will make them attracted to you may seem difficult, but it doesn’t have to be.
Here are 6 ways to attract the right people:
1. Don’t be afraid of vulnerability.
Many people feel scared of vulnerability, because they fear what other people might think or say about them. However, you can’t really get to know someone, or let someone get to know you, without opening up a little. Present yourself proudly and confidently, and don’t try to hide certain aspects of yourself or pretend to be someone else. People actually love realness in a world full of insincerity, so put yourself out there. Honesty goes a long way in getting people to like you, so don’t put up your walls in fear of what others may think.
2. Call the person by their name.
One surefire way to lose someone’s interest and trust is to forget their name. When someone tells you their name, remember it, and call them by it throughout your conversation with them. This might not seem significant, but people love hearing their name; it makes them feel important, special, and cared for. If you can make someone feel that way, you can easily gain friends, and get them to stick around.
No one likes to talk with someone who seems too serious, uncomfortable, or stressed. Smiling will quickly dispel any awkwardness or anxiety about meeting someone new, because it signals to other people that you have good energy. Smiles act as magnets, drawing people in and attracting others who (hopefully) share similar energy. Frowns do exactly the opposite; they repel people, blocking out potential friends and conversations.
People will notice your smile before they even get to hear you speak, so emitting positive vibes and good energy will make you appear more open and receptive to people. According to a survey by Delta Dental, a smile is a person’s most important physical feature, so make sure you share it with people when you meet them.
4. Ask more questions.
People like to feel important, like they’re being heard. Clarifying what they’ve said to make sure you understand properly will make the speaker feel valued, so asking some questions makes a conversation go much more smoothly. This will show that you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, and your exceptional listening skills will not go unnoticed by others. Too many people today check their phones in the middle of a conversation, or think so much about what they will say next that they totally miss the meaning behind the other person’s words.
Active listening involves asking questions for greater understanding, and doing so will instantly make you more likeable.
5. Laugh at yourself.
People relate more with those who have a sense of humor, who can laugh at themselves despite any shortcomings or mistakes they’ve made. Laughter takes the heaviness out of life temporarily, and allows people to forget about the problems at work or argument they just had, or anything else that weighs them down. If you can make someone laugh, then you’ve made a friend for life. People gravitate towards those who don’t take themselves too seriously, because laughing at yourself means you know how to take things in stride and not allow them to control you or your emotions.
6. Give people your full attention.
Most importantly, treat people as if they matter more than anything else in the world while you speak to them. Turn toward them, nod to show them that you’re listening, and put your phone away. Attracting the right people just comes down to treating people like human beings, not like objects with no feelings. People want to feel like their voice is being heard, and if you can give them undivided attention, it will go a long way in increasing your likeability.