You might wonder how certain people seem to attract the right people so easily; maybe they have some magic spells they perform each night to make people like them, or perhaps they have a likable personality.
Even though some people naturally have a more outgoing, friendly personality, that doesn’t mean you need to become the loudest, funniest, most transparent person in the room to make friends.
People gravitate toward others they perceive as good listeners, attentive, kind, and understanding. Also, being genuine and open will make others feel as though they can trust you because you don’t try too hard or put on a mask. In our world today, many of us still hide our faces due to fear of judgment or ridicule or because we don’t know how to act around others, but getting people to like you doesn’t have to feel like learning a new language.
Presenting yourself to the right people in a way that will make them attracted to you may seem complicated, but it doesn’t have to be.
Here are seventeen ways to attract the right people:
1. You Feel Free to be Vulnerable Around the Right People.
Many people feel vulnerable because they fear what other people might think or say about them. However, you can’t get to know someone or let someone know you without opening up a little. Present yourself proudly and confidently, and don’t try to hide certain aspects of yourself or pretend to be someone else. People love realness in a world of insincerity, so put yourself out there. Honesty goes a long way in getting people to like you, so don’t put up your walls to fear what others may think.
2. Call the Person by Their Name to Attract the Right People.
One surefire way to lose someone’s interest and trust is to forget their name. When someone tells you their name, remember it, and call them by it throughout your conversation with them. This might not seem significant, but people love hearing their name; it makes them feel important, unique, and cared for. If you can make someone feel that way, you can quickly gain friends and get them to stick around.
3. Smile! You’ll Attract the Right People.
No one likes to talk with someone who seems too serious, uncomfortable, or stressed. Smiling will quickly dispel any awkwardness or anxiety about meeting someone new because it signals to other people that you have good energy. Smiles act as magnets, drawing people in and attracting others who (hopefully) share similar energy. Frowns do precisely the opposite; they repel people, blocking out potential friends and conversations.
People will notice your smile before they even hear you speak, so emitting positive vibes and good energy will make you appear more open and receptive to people. According to a survey by Delta Dental, a smile is a person’s most important physical feature, so make sure you share it with people when you meet them.
4. Ask More Questions.
People like to feel important. You grant this wish by really listening to their thoughts and ideas. Clarifying what they’ve said to make sure you understand correctly will make the speaker feel valued, so asking some questions makes a conversation go smoothly. This behavior will show that you’re interested and engaged in the discussion, and your exceptional listening skills will not go unnoticed by others. Too many people today check their phones in the middle of a conversation or think so much about what they will say next that they miss the meaning behind another person’s words.
Active listening involves asking questions for greater understanding, and doing so will instantly make you more likable.
5. Laugh at Yourself.
People relate more with those who have a sense of humor and can laugh at themselves despite any shortcomings or mistakes. Laughter temporarily takes the heaviness out of life and allows people to forget about the problems at work, arguments they just had, or anything else that weighs them down. If you can make someone laugh, you’ve made a friend for life. People gravitate towards those who don’t take themselves too seriously because laughing at yourself means you know how to take things in stride and not allow them to control you or your emotions.
6. Give people your full attention.
Most importantly, treat people as if they matter more than anything else in the world while you speak to them. Turn toward them, nod to show them that you’re listening, and put your phone away. Attracting the right people comes down to treating people like human beings, not like objects with no feelings. People want to feel like their voice is being heard, and if you can give them undivided attention, it will go a long way in increasing your likeability.
7. Set a High Standard
Everyone has standards for their life and the pursuit of love. No, it’s not that you look down on others or think poorly of them, but you know your limits. Have firm boundaries because they protect you from getting hurt.
If you want to attract the right people, you will stand by your convictions and limitations. You want someone that does the same and has the power to stand against the crowd when it infringes on their morals—having someone who also has high standards makes for a relationship where you understand and respect one another.
8. Have The Characteristics You Desire
If you want a wonderful life, the ball is in your court. You get to decide your destiny, which requires hard work and dedication. So many people think their life won’t begin until they find the right person, but this is problematic thinking.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, many folks live in codependent relationships as they become dependent on others for their happiness and survival. One party can take on the role of caretaker too, which imbalances the power in the relationship.
Anyone of caliber will look for someone who makes them a better person and not someone they need to survive. So, if you don’t have your life together, they may see you as troubled and wishy-washy. However, if you’re happy, healthy, have a good job, a little nest egg, and have much to offer, you’re not dependent on anyone for your security.
9. Don’t Try to Impress
So many folks try to be something they’re not to attract the perfect person. You often see this with online dating sites and on social media. Sure, you want to come across as a good catch, but it will haunt you later if you’ve been untruthful. Don’t brag, fib, or exaggerate about your accomplishments, as you’re creating a false persona that isn’t the real you.
10. Take Care of Your Emotional and Physical Wellbeing
When you take care of yourself, it’s only natural that people notice. Your emotional and physical well-being is essential to you and how others perceive you. Toxic individuals will know that they can’t neglect themselves and keep someone like you.
Self-love is essential to both you and the person you want to attract. Sure, you can attract all kinds of people that are all wrong for you, but you want someone who is a good partner.
11. Don’t Act Lonely or Desperate
You’ll have moments when you’re lonely and even desperate throughout your life. However, these are not two qualities you want to bring to the table in a relationship. Never date or seek friendships out of desperation, as you’re only bound to make foolish mistakes.
Additionally, it’s only natural to seek social interaction when you’re lonely, but never let it be the basis for a relationship. People want folks who aren’t lonely or desperate, as they come across as clingy or needy. To attract the right people, you need to come across as someone who has their life together.
12. Realize You’re Good Alone Too
You need to realize that you don’t need a partner to live a good life. When you’re trying to attract the right person, you want to come across that you can make it alone. You become more attractive to potential suitors because people always want individuals who have their lives together.
13. The Right People Understand That You Must Complete Yourself First
So many people look for a partner to complete them. The problem is that once they find such a person, something is still missing. Don’t be an individual who needs a relationship to thrive.
Those folks bounce from partner to partner, looking for the missing piece that only they can provide. When you’re already complete on the inside, having someone else who equally has it together makes you a fantastic pair.
14. See the Best in Others
There’s nothing worse than a person who is negative all the time. If you want to impress someone, why not be optimistic? Look for the positive qualities in a person rather than all the bad ones. You don’t want to ignore obvious red flags, but don’t always be so defensive and look for faults.
Don’t deny the dark side of people and try to make them better than they are either. You need someone in your life who lifts you and sees the good in you just like you see in them.
15. Live with Zest
To get the right people in your life, you need to learn to live a life of zest. You know you need some humor and compassion to have a relationship, but you also need to have fun. Why not step out of your comfort zone to explore new places, broaden your horizons, and go on an adventure?
You will attract the right people to your side when you have a zest for life and have an outstanding work/life balance. According to the Mayo Clinic, people who are workaholics and have no time for fun have more illnesses, and there’s so much lost time with friends and loved ones. It would be best if you had time to spend with people or it’s effortless to attract them.
16. Radiate Warmth to Find the Right People in Life
Have you ever stood over a register in the winter and let the heat penetrate every cold part of your body? It’s refreshing to feel that heat radiating and warming your inner being. This energy is the same way you need to be to attract the right people.
When your life fills with the warmth and love from happiness, you’ll never be lonely. People will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame because the warmth you radiate is refreshing.
17. Love Yourself
Before you can love anyone else, you must first learn to love yourself. What is it about you that makes you unique, and what are the things that you do well? Fall in love with you, and the rest will fall into place.
Final Thoughts on Attracting the Right People into Your Life
If you want to be a good friend or partner, you must start by loving yourself and getting your ducks in a row. Surround yourself with the right people who elevate your thinking and overall quality of life.
Always strive to look for the positive in others, but never ignore those red flags. When you take control of your inner circle, you set boundaries to enhance your overall well-being.